Rating:
R
House:
Schnoogle
Genres:
General Crossover
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 11/02/2002
Updated: 11/04/2007
Words: 363,688
Chapters: 65
Hits: 101,532

The Eighth Weasley

Fyre

Story Summary:
Set post-book seven. Voldemort is long gone and the dust is settling. So when the Weasleys are informed that a missing family member has been located, there is a great deal of excitement and nervousness as contact is made with said absentee from the family. However, when it transpires that the missing Weasley has connections with a certain Vampire Slayer, it goes without saying that Hogwarts will never be the same again!

Chapter 34

Chapter Summary:
Chapter 34 - MUGGLES & PUZZLES - a little more bonding takes place and a certain enmity is given a charitable sponsor :)
Posted:
12/01/2002
Hits:
1,308
Author's Note:
I finally got around to tidying up and coding all the rest of the chapters of this story that are available, so hopefully, by the time I finish uploading, chapters 23-35 should be up :) No, I don't write too much, honestly. And chapter 35 is my current favourite :D

The Eighth Weasley - Chapter Thirty-Four

MUGGLES & PUZZLES

Notes: Just as an advanced warning to any of you who have been reading this, from now on, the chapters are going to come out more sporadically and we’re also going to have some seriously long ones (chapters, that is, not characters!) popping up too, since I have such a wide range of characters to work with.

Also, this one stops where it stops because it hit 13 pages and could have easily gone to 25. I want to keep them under fifteen, so it stops where it stops, where it…you get the idea ;D

Even though I haven’t started writing this chapter, I’m sniggering. Be warned that this will be as insane as the previous chapters! If not worse. *snickers evilly* I love Snapey. Please keep this in mind.

__________________________

"Rise and shine, dear! It’s a beautiful morning!"

Buffy stirred groggily, squinting around at her surroundings. Why was it still pitch dark? If she was meant to be up, why wasn’t the sunlight pouring in through the light drapes she had and why...

"Buffy!"

"Ack!" One of the Slayer’s hands instantly jerked up to shield her eyes, the brilliant, autumn sunlight pouring through the gap in the curtains around her bed where Dawn stood, grinning broadly. "Oh God...Dawnie!" Squinting at her sister, she glared. "This is why I didn’t want to share a room with you."

Dawn didn’t seem at all put off. "Bob thought we should wake you," she said, sounding far too wide-awake. "You’ve got a class in an hour and Dumbledore thinks you might want breakfast first. Dobby brought it up for you."

Rubbing her eyes with a fist, still scowling, Buffy sat up and eased towards the edge of the bed, tripping over a small figure wearing a wool sweater and what looked like a knitted hat, and banging her knee on the seat beside her desk.

"Ow," she moaned, sitting down heavily. She was used to house elves being around the room, bringing up food for her and her sister whenever they asked or, in her case, whenever she slept in.

However, she had never had one standing where her feet were meant to be.

"Oh, Professor Summers! Dobby is sorry!"

Rubbing her knee, Buffy looked down at the small creature she had tripped over. He was kinda cute in a weird, surreal way: large green eyes stared roundly at her, from a face that had a worried, hesitant smile on it. Bat-like ears jutted out from the head that seemed too large for the creature’s skinny body.

"Is Professor Summers all right? Dobby will shut his ears in the door, if she is not!"

"No! No shutting-ears-in-doors!" the Slayer exclaimed quickly. "I’m fine. Just a little bumped, but no biggie," She extended her leg and pulled up the leg of her pyjamas, revealing an unmarred knee. "See."

"Ah, Dobby would be most aggrieved if he caused Professor Summers harm," the house elf said sincerely. "I am hearing all about you and I is not having a chance to see you before. Professor Summers is known to all..." He was staring at her with an expression of wonder. "The Slayer..."

Buffy looked up at Dawn, who looked equally shocked. "How...how did you know that, Dobby?" she asked. "No one except Professor Dumbledore and a few of the staff were meant to know about it."

"Oh my!" Dobby looked horrified. "Dobby is not knowing that it is a confidence he is speaking!" He hurried towards the window seat and drew his head back to hit it on the window-ledge. "Bad Dobby!"

"No, Dobby! Don’t!" Buffy hauled him back from the ledge quickly by the back of his sweater. "Just tell me how you know."

Dobby blinked up at her. "We is knowing of you, Slayer," he replied carefully, twisting his hands into the front of his jumper. "You is known to our world. We is sensing your power...your strength. Strength that is belonging only to a Slayer."

"You sensed me?" Dobby nodded a cautious affirmative. "That’s okay, then, but please, don’t let anyone else know that you know, okay? I do have to kinda keep a bit of a secret identity."

"Oh, Dobby is understanding, Professor Summers! It is a great honour to be meeting you!" He bowed so low that his nose almost touched the floor. "Dobby is hoping... that is, he wonders may he see you again?"

Buffy smiled. "Sure! I’d like that," she replied. "You can tell me more about how you sensed me, because that sounds way wiggy. Maybe you could come up one morning when I don’t have a class?"

"Dobby would be thrilled, Professor Summers," he said, staring at her out of those large, round eyes. "But Dobby must be going now! Dobby has many chores to do."

Leaving several plates on the desk: one stacked with toast, another with a full English breakfast and a third with various pastries: the house elf vanished with the tray, as the Slayer got to her feet and stretched, studying the selection of food.

"Do they expect me to eat all of this?" she demanded, staring at everything.

"You could do with it, dear," a voice spoke from the wall above the desk and Buffy rolled her eyes in Bob's direction. "Don't you give me that look, young lady! You really are awfully skinny! Both of you are! I would suggest that you eat everything they give you!"

"You want me to get to the size of a house before Christmas?" Standing up, the Slayer looked into the mirror.

"Now, now, dear, don't exaggerate. I just think you would look so much prettier with some more curves..."

Reaching up, Buffy patted the frame. "I'll eat," she replied. "But I'm not going to eat everything. I wouldn't be able to."

"I could!" Dawn said. She grabbed a warm, buttered croissant, flinging herself down on her belly on Buffy’s bed and sinking her teeth into the pastry, as she studied her elder sister. "You have to get ready cause you have a class in a while and I bet you haven’t got anything planned for it."

Buffy pulled a face, as she took a piece of jam-spread toast. "Today is just going to be my introduction day so I can find out what everyone has done so far and see what they all know."

"And I get to go to Potions," her sister grinned.

"You like potions?"

Dawn nodded, speaking with her mouth full of croissant. "Professor Snape is the coolest!" she exclaimed. "Everyone else is scared of him and he’s always threatening to do really mean things to me."

"And this doesn’t worry you?" Toast held in one hand, Buffy raked through her chest of drawers for a sweater. If there was one thing she wasn’t enjoying, it was the cold weather of Britain. Turning, she made an accusing gesture with her hand. "What if Snapey does do something mean?"

"Snapey?" Dawn choked. "You call him Snapey?"

"He did his lurky, scowly thing," Buffy shrugged. "I figured it would bug him."

"And he doesn’t like you for standing up to him?"

The Slayer swallowed her toast. "Um...I don’t think he likes me because I pinned him on the desk with a knife at his throat," Dawn’s eyes bugged. "Anyway!" she added a little more emphatically. "He was being a big jerk and trying to scare me!"

"But you didn’t have to use a knife!"

Buffy pulled a face. "You said he was threatening you. Wouldn’t you do it?"

"No! I tell him what I think and he tells me he’ll use my tongue in a potion and I tell him that he's a big jerk! I don’t use a knife!" The younger of the two rolled onto her feet, shaking her head. "Didn’t you even try reading any of the books, so you knew what he was like?"

"Huh?"

"Hello? The Harry Potter books? Kinda tell you about all the teachers who work here?" Dawn’s hands were on her hips and she raised her eyebrows. "Professor Snape is mean to everyone except the Slytherins! You just took his favourite job and you thought that was him being mean? If he was being mean, he would have made you drink a poison, then make the antidote yourself. God! And you say I overreact!"

Buffy tried to find some kind of justifiable reply, but her sister had already flounced towards the portrait-covered doorway and disappeared out into the Hall, the painting closing behind her.

"All right," she muttered, laying her toast down on the heaped plate and looking for her underwear. "Remember sister’s only advice...don’t use a knife on fellow-member-of-faculty-staff."

"It would be wise, dear," Bob agreed mildly.

Buffy whimpered.

She really, really didn’t feel ready to be a teacher.

***

"But I don’t get it."

Willow, Xander and Anya were seated at a table just short of the High table, yet not quite connected to the Gryffindor table, discussing the fact that Xander had been able to access Hogwarts at all.

"What’s to get?"

"You’re a muggle, Xander," Anya answered, although in a less than warm way. She was apparently still a little bitter about him leaving her alone on their first night, to spend time with Willow. "Muggles aren’t meant to be able to see Hogwarts."

"Maybe it’s the witchy vibe you two gave me," he suggested, looking from his lover to his long-time friend. "I mean Buffy’s all muggly as well and she can see the school okay. And Dawn and Spike."

Willow was studying her bread, which was thickly smeared with peanut butter. "I think Buffy, Dawnie and Spike can all get in because they’re not real humans," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, Buffy...she’s Buffy. Dawnie is special too and Spike... well, we all know what Spike is."

"Stunningly attractive and irresistible?" a fourth voice joined in, as the vampire slid into the seat next to Willow. All three gave him a look and he grinned. "Morning to you too, Red, Prat and Demon-gal."

"For once, can’t you call us by our names?" Xander groused.

"And kill you with the shock?" Spike raised his eyebrows, blue eyes glinting. "Sorry, mate, that would be no fun," He looked around the table, then grinned as a bowl of weetabix with blood liberally poured over it appeared in front of him. "Great service they have here!"

"Spike!" Willow looked horrified. "Do you have to eat that in front of us?"

The vampire looked up at her, a dripping spoonful of bloody weetabix halfway to his mouth. A wicked glint appeared in his eye and with exaggerated slowness, he ate the contents of the spoon a bit at a time.

"Mmm...s’good..." he groaned, smacking his lips. Offering his refilled spoon around, he raised an eyebrow. "Wanna try some?"

"Spike!" three voices chorused it and the vampire snickered.

"Wusses," he replied. "Whatcha on about anyway?"

Anya looked across the table at him. "We were wondering why a muggle like Xander can get into Hogwarts," she said, her voice cold, the frost clearly directed at her boyfriend. Spike noticed it and looked like he was having trouble grinning.

"Its obvious, innit?"

"It is?"

Spike nodded sagely. "He was invited by Dumble," he explained. "The minute you get an invite from the big chief of this place, you’ve been officially told about it, so all the charms to hide it stop working on you."

"For an uneducated creature of the night, you’re real smart sometimes," Willow said, shaking her head. Spike smirked at the commendation, mushing some more of the weetabix under his blood. "I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner."

"Because you were so busy thinking about your boyfriend leaving you again?" Anya suggested, receiving a sharp elbow in the ribs from Xander. "Ow! What did you do that for?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Xander, it’s okay. She can say that. I’m not going to start crying again."

"You sure about that, Red?" Spike inquired. He was studying her with a half-smile on his face. "After all, I’m pretty sure there’s a certain little witch hereabouts who would be more than happy to comfort you, cheeky little bint that she is."

"Huh?"

Spike nodded towards the High table. "That roomie of yours," he replied, stirring his rather soggy breakfast. "She’s a bit of all right, that one. Quite the mouth on her, but the body to match it..."

"Yeah," Willow had to grin as the brown-haired witch pulled a face at them when she saw what Spike was eating, then froze. "Uh...Spike? How do you know what Hermione’s body is like?"

The vampire grinned. "I kind of accidentally walked in on her in the staff loos."

"Accidentally?" Willow raised her eyebrows. "Spike, you’re a vampire. You don’t pee. What were you doing in the toilets?"

He shrugged, with an awkward look. "I was on the lookout for Minnie... Miner... er... Professor McGonagall," he replied. "She wasn’t in the khazi, but Hermione was and she had her robes hiked up to her waist so she could fix up a ladder in her tights."

"So you’ve only seen her legs," Willow laughed. "That’s nothing."

"You’ve seen Hermione naked?" Xander gulped. "You mean when she said you and her and the ice cream...?"

"Xander!"

"What’s this about you and Hermi with ice cream?"

Willow shot a dark look at Spike. "Nothing! Hermione said it to tease me! And no, Xander, I haven’t seen Hermione naked, but I have seen her in her underwear, when she stripped on the first night we were living together to embarrass me."

"I think I could get to liking this Hermi chit," Spike grinned. "Sounds like a right gutter mind on her. She has a bloody good set of pins on her as well. Kind of made up for the missing McGonagall."

"Spike," Anya interrupted curiously, staring at the vampire. "Why were you looking for Professor McGonagall anyway?"

"Uh...we..." Hastily shoveling a spoonful of weetabix into his mouth, he seemed to chew on it for a long time before swallowing and replying. "We were planning a poker tournament, but she wanted to back out and was avoiding me."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," he said, realising a moment too late that the voice came from behind him and that the Scottish burr in the accent suggested that it was none other than Professor McGonagall there. "Um..." Turning, he slowly looked up at her, blinking at her in a display of mock-innocence. "Kitten! Fancy seeing you here!"

"So, we were having a poker tournament, were we?"

The three at the table were chuckling at the vampire’s obvious discomfort at being caught out. He scowled at them, then grinned boyishly up at her. "Well, if you feel you can face the might of Spike and the Sunnydale crew..."

"The Sunnydale guests are the competition?"

Spike glanced back at the trio at the table, then up at her, swivelling in his seat and rising smoothly to his feet to face her. They stood at almost exactly the same height, blue eyes meeting green levelly.

The left side of his mouth lifted in a lazy smirk, his brows rising. "You think you can take us, Minnie?" he murmured, his voice so low the constant hum of conversation in the hall almost drowned it out.

"I know we can take you, Billy," she replied equally quietly, her arms crossed over her chest. Her expression was deadly serious to anyone who chanced to look at them, but only he could see the gleam in her eye that said she was amused. "What do you say? Three of your people against three of mine? Sunnydale guests versus the Staff. Split them into two groups. The winners play each other. Strip poker." Spike’s eyes widened, but he was incredibly proud that he managed to maintain his composure. McGonagall raised a brow in challenge. Damn, he hated it when she did that. It gave him no choice but to accept. "Well, Billy?"

To anyone who looked at them as they glared coolly at one another, it looked like she found him repulsive and irritating, while he clearly found her boring and the only reason he was bothering to talk to her was because he could aggravate her, but that certainly was not the case.

Bringing his hands to his hips, pushing his duster back from his lean body, several teenage girls sighing, he cocked his head at her. "I’ll have to see what my people say, but if I have my way, you’re on."

"And if you don’t?" She gave him that strict look, which was undercut by the twinkle in her green eyes. "Don’t tell me that you’re going to disappoint me again, Mr T. Bloody."

"And when, kitten," he purred in his silkiest tones. "Did I disappoint you before?"

A faint blush appeared in her cheeks and she cleared her throat. "Check with your people, Billy, and when you know the details," her voice returned to her more normal volume. "Come to my office immediately."

"Bossy bint," he growled at her, receiving a glare, as she stalked off and he threw himself back into his seat, receiving expectant looks from his three companions. "Oh, right, yeah...she wants to know if we’re up for a poker game against the staff."

Willow shook her head. "I can’t play poker. Never learned."

"I can! I wanna play!" Anya said eagerly. "Xander can’t. It was very boring at poker evenings with him."

Xander shot a dark look at his lover, then at Spike. "Count me out," he replied.

"Right, there’s me, demon girl...that’s two," Running a hand over his head, he raised his eyes to the charmed ceiling. "I s’pose I can always haul old Rupert or the...er... Professor in on it as well."

He shot a look up at the table, where McGonagall had sat down and was muttering to the Head Master. Dumbledore’s blue eyes flicked to the vampire and he actually gave Spike a knowing smirk.

So it was going to be dirty tactics, eh?

"Demon-girl, mind coming with me, while Red and the prat bond again?" he inquired, pushing his bowl aside. "We have to discuss how we’re going to do this, so we can outdo a bunch of people who are magic."

Anya looked up at the table, where Dumbledore sat and gave him a little wave, as she got to her feet to depart with the vampire. He immediately smiled very broadly. "I know how I can stop Albus from winning," she replied, a wicked glint in her eyes.

"I bet," Spike snickered as they started towards the end of the Great Hall. "And I’ll be pulling the same stunt on Minnie."

There was a moment’s silence.

"Why do you call her Minnie?"

Looking down at the young woman beside her, he half-smiled. "Same reason you call him Albus, demon-girl."

Anya nodded knowingly. "Ah."

***

In the silence of the dungeon, the crackling of the fires and bubbling of potions the only sounds, the squeak of the classroom door swinging open sounded deafening to the pupils in the class.

The grinning maw of light from the open door cut across the black stone of the floor, a figure silhouetted in the frame, leaning against one side of it. Whoever was there was a tall, broad figure, no one they could recognise by the shadow.

None of them dared to look around, though, lest more points get taken.

For reasons unknown, the Potions Master was in a worse mood than usual and his temperament seemed to have knocked the temperature in the already freezing room down several notches, meaning that more potions than usual were being botched by numb-fingered pupils.

A couple of the braver ones dared to shoot a look at Snape, who had risen from his desk, one hand still spread on the surface. His dark eyes were glittering oddly and his knuckles were white around the edge of the desk.

"Out," he said in a strangely strained voice.

Looks were exchanged by the pupils.

Black eyes swung back to them, flickering. "I said," he repeated softly, his normally calm voice actually trembling. "Out. Now."

They weren’t about to protest.

Anything to get out of Potions early.

The whole fourth year class practically ran out of the dungeon classroom, some of them still packing their bags as they left, unwilling to linger in the grim room any longer than was absolutely necessary.

Snape, though, remained rigid by the desk, staring at the man in the doorway, as he watched the pupils go.

"Always knew you’d do well," Rupert Giles said, as he turned and walked into the dungeon, shivering as the chill hit him. He crossed the floor and came to a halt in front of Snape, a small smile on his lips. "I’ve heard you’re the best Potions Master Hogwarts has ever had."

"Rupert..."

"Who else would it be, Sev?" he asked, extending a hand, which Snape immediately grasped with his own. The contact lasted barely a heartbeat before Giles pulled the younger wizard forward in a hearty embrace.

Had it been anyone else who had dared to touch him with such genuine brotherly affection, anyone but Rupert Giles, Snape knew they would have found themselves hexed beyond recognition.

Although he was now a little taller than the older man, he recognised the familiar strength in his one-time mentor and friend’s arms and clung to him, knowing that if he let go, he would stumble again.

For his part, the watcher seemed aware of it and let the younger man clutch at him as if his life depended on it.

Snape pressed his burning eyes closed, as Giles clapped him on the back, reminded once again why he had been so close to the older wizard. "Rupert," he said, his voice a shaking breath. "I-I never imagined...how...how have you been?"

"Tolerable, Sev," He was held at arm’s length, Giles’ brilliantly green eyes scanning over his robe-decked form . "And how about you? I see you’ve really taken to the role of the evil arch-fiend."

Smiling genuinely for the first time in years, Severus Snape looked down at his black robes. "They are more imposing than those hideous ensembles that Dumbledore insists on wearing," he replied, touching the starched cuff of his right wrist with his left hand. "They allow me some measure of intimidation and authority."

"But that doesn’t tell me how you’ve been, Sev."

"Ah..."

"That bad?"

Severus looked uncomfortably down at his feet. "You...could say that," he replied awkwardly, like a recalcitrant child facing his father.

"Do you have time to sit and talk or...?"

"Of course!" Gesturing for the older man to follow him, Snape lead the way through to his office, which was connected to the classroom by a hidden doorway. It was small, orderly and dark.

With a desk against the left wall, piled high with scrolls and books, and shelf upon shelf of books and potions on the right wall, the wall directly in front of them was occupied by a fireplace, which had roared to life with - Giles’ raised an eyebrow in Snape’s direction - green flames the moment they stepped into the room.

One seat stood before the fire, large and imposing. It looked like it had been pulled directly out of a Gothic castle, spiked decorations covering every inch of it, except the seat and seat back.

Pulling a lower chair over from the desk, Severus motioned for his old friend to sit down in the larger of the two. "It’s not much," he said apologetically, settling himself on the lower seat.

"Sev, this is exactly what I would expect of you," Giles replied, smiling slightly as he took a seat. He glanced into the flames that were licking their way up the black walls of the grate, then back at his companion. "Dumbledore told me that you’ve been working here for nearly twenty years now."

"He...he mentioned me?"

Giles nodded slowly. "After he asked Buffy and I to come here and teach, he took me aside and told me that you had proven to be more than adept with Potions and that he had taken you onto the staff when you finished your schooling."

"I had hoped I would finally be given that damned Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts position," The Potions Master admitted, a tone of bitterness in his voice. "I have repeatedly offered myself for the post."

"Why on earth would you want to be the D.A.D.A.?" Rupert demanded. "You were always far better at potions than that subject."

Snape’s lips thinned, his eyes going to the flames in the fireplace. His hands had clenched together in his lap, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Giles. "I gained some... experience in the field, after you departed, Rupert."

"Surely you didn’t share my rotten luck and get drafted by the bloody watchers council," Giles started to laugh, but it trailed off at the expression on the younger man’s bowed, ashen face. "Sev?" he leaned forward. "Sev, what happened?"

"I..." His eyes hesitantly came up to Giles’. "I was a Death Eater, Rupert."

Giles visibly recoiled, shock on his features. "You...you were what?"

Black eyes went to the floor again, full of shame. "I joined them in sixth year," he replied quietly. "Of my own free will," There was a brief silence. "They were the only ones who would have me after you left."

"Bloody hell...Sev..."

"I didn’t intend to stay long..." he said, his voice shaking with emotion. "But when they have you, you aren’t permitted to leave. Not by your own volition. Not unless you leave in pieces..."

"You should have contacted me, Sev. You should have let me know..."

"How, Rupert?" Turning away from the man who was like an elder brother to him, Severus stared deep into the belly of the flames, blinking back tears of recrimination and self-loathing. "You were gone. Out of the wizarding world. With muggles. I...you had a new life to deal with. One where I would not have belonged."

A hand touched his shoulder. "Sev," Giles’ voice was calm and steady. "You and I, we were friends. Friends help one another, even if they belong to two very different worlds. I would have been here like a shot, you know that."

"You would willingly help a known dark wizard and agent of Voldemort?" There was a cynical chuckle from the dark-haired man. "Surely even you weren’t that wonderful, Rupert."

"No, Sev," the reply came after a hesitation. "But I was as bad as that." Snape turned to face the older man, confused. "You remember Rayne?" The Potions Master nodded in assent. "He and I were expelled from the wizarding world for using the dark arts to summon demons," Black eyes widened in shock. "We only avoided Azkaban because we were considered young and foolhardy."

"You...?"

"Me, Sev."

"But you..." Dark eyes mirrored the bewilderment that was rapidly building on Snape’s pale face. "You couldn’t have...you were always so clever...popular... you... you hated Malfoy and the Dark Arts..."

"My dearly beloved father also hated magic and the dark arts. I used it to give him the finger in a way he couldn’t ignore," Giles replied as an explanation, one hand rising to squeeze Snape’s shoulder. "Needless to say, he was mildly put out with me for being such an idiot."

"And we both appear to have redeemed ourselves to some extent."

"What do you mean?"

Snape’s lips rose in a bitter smile. "I was a spy for the Ministry of Magic for more than seventy-five percent of my time as a Death Eater and here you are, a Watcher and guardian of the Vampire Slayer who has lived the longest and is even seen to be qualified to teach in a wizard school, despite her distinct lack of wizarding blood."

"Do I detect a note of resentment to my Slayer?"

"Resentment? I have no idea what you mean..."

Giles almost smiled. "Let me see," he remarked. "She took the job you wanted, she embarrassed you and she didn’t even break a nail while doing so. If you are anything like me, she will try your patience in so many ways, you will find yourself longing to wring her neck. I know I felt that way for many months, before I finally saw her for what she truly is."

"And what is that?"

Giles smiled. "I shall leave you to find that out for yourself, Sev," he replied, his eyes twinkling. "After all, I’m looking forward to seeing you try to kill each other without Dumbledore noticing."

"You think she disapproves of me as much as I disapprove of her?"

"Sev, a knife against your throat the first time she meets you is a sign that she isn’t exactly a member of the Snape fanclub."

A rueful half-smile crossed the Potions Professor’s lips. "I suppose that is true," he remarked.

"I did mention you to her briefly," Giles added, his eyes twinkling a little. "But I... er... apparently forgot to mention that threats and derisiveness are your usual modes of welcoming a new arrival."

"Oh, I didn’t threaten her. Not much, at least..." the Potions Master said. A tired look crossed his face. "I...I simply wish it was someone else who had been given the post, since it could not be me. Someone who is at least qualified."

"I’m sure old Dumble considered you."

"No, Rupert, he has never and would never consider me," A weary hand ran through Snape’s dark hair. "He knows why I want that position and that is the very reason that I will never be assigned it."

"Absolution."

"Am I so transparent?"

Giles’ lips rose in a mirthless smile. "It’s the same reason that I became a Watcher. I saw the damage the demons could do and what I had done. I chose to try and earn exoneration through battling the very things I had raised and through that, found myself with Buffy and her friends, exiled from the Council I once believed in and now, I’m back at the school I was ripped out of with an old friend I never imagined I would see again."

"And taking half of my choice of profession."

There was a quiet chuckle. "Well, I suppose I did..." Giles said. "But think about it, Sev. It wasn’t exactly your strongest subject, was it? And would you honestly be able to tolerate that classroom? I mean, its full of...sunlight!"

"I’m a wizard, Rupert, not a bloody vampire!"

Giles’ eyes flicked to the heavy black robes and then Snape’s face. "You do a damn good impression of one, Sev," he chuckled at the mock scowl on the younger man’s face. "You actually do resemble a more healthy version of Dracula if I may say so."

"Dracula?"

"Surely you’ve heard of him?"

Snape shrugged. "Bram Stoker had a remarkable imagination."

"Not so much imagination, Sev," A grin spread across the watcher’s face. "It was an expert move in promotion by the vampire. He’s one of the few that anyone actually remembers now."

"Surely you’re not saying..."

"He’s real," Giles said. "Buffy fought him and won, as far as we can tell, although I was unfortunately...ah...distracted..."

"Your Slayer fought Dracula? The Dracula?"

"Without any wizarding blood," There was an obvious attempt to hide a grin. "She has been fighting demons since she was fifteen years of age, so she does have a good deal of experience, which is why - I believe - Dumbledore wanted her here. On top of that, he wanted someone strong enough to physically protect Dawn."

"I-I am still not certain of her teaching credentials..."

"Sev, try to remember back to the good old days when we were at this school," Giles said. "Do you remember how many people in our classes could actually understand what the Professors were talking about?"

"I understood everything."

"Yes, Sev, but we’re not counting random child prodigies like you," the older man said teasingly. "We’re talking about mere mortals, who felt incredibly stupid for not being able to differentiate between a grindylow and a frolax demon. In Buffy’s case, she might not be magically inclined, which is why I’m here, but she knows how to describe the dark creatures. She can make it interesting, entertaining and educational for the children."

"And a hormonal battle ground for the teenage boys."

"In that case, it will probably mean that less pupils will skip her classes."

Snape couldn’t help chuckling, shaking his head. "Well, well, Dumbledore really is much more cunning than I gave him credit for," he said. "He brings in a young female to keep the attention of the pupils and he brings you in, to stop me from poisoning her simply on principal."

"And did it work?" Giles raised his eyebrows.

"Bearing in mind that you are probably the only person in the school who can brew a wider variety of potions than me, I think its safe to say you probably know a few more poisons than I do, so I would rather not get on your bad side."

"Oh don’t mind me, Sev," the older man smirked. "Buffy is going to truly try your patience and I fully expect you to give as good as you get. I would be frightfully disappointed if you didn’t."

"You’re giving me leave to poison your charge?"

"I’m giving you leave to challenge her in whatever way you see fit, Sev," Giles corrected. "We are away from the Hellmouth for the first time in many years and she will need a vent for her energy. I believe that you - and possibly Spike - are the only things that could do so, without her having to resort to going into the Dark Forest."

"Why," Snape inquired. "Do I have the painful suspicion that this could prove to be deeply embarrassing for me?"

"Because you have met Willow Weasley?" Giles suggested with a smile. "I ought to warn you that she was the quietest, shyest member of this particular group of friends and Buffy was considered the Leader."

"Weasley is considered quiet and shy?"

"Painfully so."

"And I suppose you heard what she did during her first potions lesson?"

Giles snickered. "Oh, I heard about that all right. Yes, shy and quietest in the group, but frighteningly clever with both magic and muggle-work. If I recall correctly, she used to hack F.B.I. files when she got bored."

"And Summers was considered the leader?"

"Unashamedly so," There was a proud note in Giles voice. "She’s incredibly strong, resourceful, witty, stubborn, willing to break rules where necessary...oddly like you and I in our younger days." He paused. "Only female, blonde, muggle, American..."

"You do realise that when this year is out, I will have to kill you?"

"What on earth for?"

Snape’s lips thinned. "No doubt, you have already given your little hussy permission to use me as a sparring partner."

"At least I warned you about it, Sev. You have to admit that was a bonus," the older man said with a smile. "I told her there are boundaries: no more pinning you on the desk with a knife, but she is permitted to try you. And she will. At great length. And you will want to slip various poisons into her meals before the week is out."

"And why are you being such a sadist? What did I ever do to you?"

"Sev, I just want to see that you haven’t lost your touch," Giles answered with a genuine smile. "Dawn tells me that you’re a ‘wicked cool bad-ass’ and my Slayer has never had to deal with a human bad-ass before."

"I don’t care if you’re a watcher, you are an evil git."

"Oh, didn’t I tell you?" A wicked grin flashed across the older man’s face. "I got fired from the council. They didn’t like my style. So," he cocked a brow. "Are you going to take the challenge? I know for a fact that Buffy thinks you are a...I think it was a ‘big jerk’ she called you."

Snape’s eyes rose to the ceiling, a ponderous look crossing his face.

It had been a while since he had received a decent challenge that did not simply come down to someone who could brew a potion and if this little...tramp had been trained by Rupert Giles, then there was bound to be some element of wit and cunning in her nature.

Plus, he had to get revenge for her humiliation of him in her classroom.

Although it had not been witnessed by anyone, he still felt a burning rush of crimson rising up his neck at the very thought of it.

"Rupert," he said calmly, bringing his eyes back down to his old friend, a slow, lazy smirk spreading on his face. "You better warn your little brat that if she so much as lays a finger on me, it will be war."

Rupert Giles’ broad grin spoke measures. "I was hoping you would say that," he said happily, then chuckled. "The things I have to do for entertainment when I can’t watch those bloody awful American sitcoms..."