Assassins and Lovers

"You must do this often," Hermione remarked, assessing Sirius's perfectly inconspicuous muggle attire--plain jeans, black boots, and a black t-shirt. A tight black t-shirt. Sirius was still thin, but he had packed on some lean mass in the last few years. . . Mental note, Hermione: Stop ogling Harry's godfather.

"I've done it once or twice," he said. "A few times."

"You look really good--that is, very Muggle-like."

"You look very Muggle-like yourself," he said, nodding toward Hermione's dark jeans and white button-up.

"Well, I should. Do you realize how much time I've spent in the Muggle world? I was born a Muggle. I went to a Muggle university."

"I'm a Muggle-born, too."

"Really? I've known you for a decade and you've never mentioned that before."

"Don't be stupid, 'Mione. What kind of Muggles would name their son 'Sirius'?"

"Good point."

Sirius grinned wickedly. "Of course, I wonder," he said, "what kind of crazy Muggles would name their daughter 'Hermione.' But I've met your parents. They seem fairly normal--for Muggles."

"For Muggles? No, not really. Total freaks, they are."

"Well, they're dentists."

"What are you, an anti-dentite?"

"Of course not, I'm very. . . pro-dentite. My imaginary Muggle parents were dentists, too, and they allegedly taught me never to make fun of other dentists."

"What happened to your parents?"

"My real ones? Same thing that happened to almost everyone else I ever loved. Voldemort killed them." His eyes narrowed. "You would think that would have convinced people that I was not a Death Eater, but obviously not. Do you know, there are people who still think I'm guilty?"

"The people who matter know who you are, Sirius," Hermione said. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be. It's good to talk about it," he looked around. "But why are we still standing around? We should be getting on."

"What are the plans for tonight?"

"You tell me. It was your idea."

"I thought we should concoct some fake identities and, oh, go to an all-night coffeehouse or something and meet people."

"An all-night coffeehouse? We've got classes tomorrow, Hermione. I'm too old for that sort of thing."

"Oh, whatever. Don't give me that 'old man' crap. Besides, I've got a time-turner; we can nap when we get back to Hogwarts."

"You've got a time-turner? On you?"

"In my purse. . . I didn't want to wear it around my neck with these Muggle clothes."

"Now, why didn't we use this in the Assassins game?"

"That'd be cheating. When I played at Cambridge, I used it, yes. Along with Harry's Invisibility Cloak. But that was different. . . I don't believe in cheating anymore."

"Good for you. Character counts. Et cetera. But," Sirius said, "McGonagall used hers."

"Well, McGonagall's a witch."

"As are you."

"But you see, I am an honest witch."

"You're also a dead one."

"Point taken."

"We need some other names--'Sirius' and 'Hermione,' as we've already established, are a bit odd for Muggles."

"Sam and Helen?"

"That sounds good. And our backgrounds. . . well, that'll be more fun if we make it up as we're going along, right?"

"You must do this often."

-----

"Helen, I think you should get decaf this time."

"Why, Sam?" Hermione asked as they moved ahead in the line.

"Well, Helen, you've already had two lattes, and you seem rather wired."

Hermione giggled. "But Sam, you've had three yourself."

"Yes, one for every coffeehouse we've been to. But you see, Helen, I'm bigger than you are, and I can handle it." He stood up very straight and puffed out his chest jokingly, looking down his nose at Hermione.

"Then why," she said, grabbing his hand, "are you shaking?"

"Because," he said, "I've just had my reputation slandered."

"I was actually telling the truth."

"Rather odd, how you mixed in that bit about my being a convicted murderer."

"You used to be."

"That is true. I think we scared Nita and Jessie away with that story."

"Jessie seemed to find it rather sexy."

"Well, all women do, you know."

You don't know how true that statement is, Sirius. "Let's go talk to that couple in the corner--the blonde girl with the attractive young man."

"They look interesting enough. What time is it?"

"Two o'clock."

"In the morning?" Sirius gasped.

"No, dimwit, in the afternoon. Yes, in the morning."

"Here's your decaf skinny latte, Helen. With vanilla flavoring."

"I like a little milk in my coffee."

"A little coffee in your milk, you mean. McGonagall and Dumbledore always drink it black, you know. Have you ever noticed?"

"I've noticed. Revolting."

Sirius's eyes sparkled as he smiled at her. "I know!"

Sirius took his cappuccino from the counter and the pair sat down on a sofa across from the couple in the corner. "Good morning," Hermione said perkily.

"Hello," the blonde girl said. "Do I know you?"

"Not yet. I'm Helen, and this is Sam," she said, extending her hand, which the blonde girl and the young man, who was evidently her boyfriend, hesitantly accepted.

"Yeah. I'm Sam."

"I'm Fiona," the blonde girl said. "Pleased to meet you."

"Sean," the boy said. In fact, now that they were closer, Hermione could see that Sean was extremely attractive. She saw Sirius giving him a cold glare and elbowed him inconspicuously.

"Is that your artwork, Fiona? It's very good," Sirius said, gesturing toward an open sketchbook.

"Yes, it is. Thank you very much. Are you an artist yourself?"

"Actually, Helen and I play in the London Symphony Orchestra."

"Oh, how interesting! What do you play?"

"Flute," Hermione said.

"Both of you?" Fiona asked.

"Yes. We both play the flute."

"That's how you met each other?" Sean said. "Playing flute?"

"That's right," Sirius said. "Helen here is a real virtuoso."

"And you know what's funny?" Hermione said. "I was going to be a dentist! But my parents persuaded me to pursue music instead."

"A dentist?" Sean asked. "I'm a dentist, myself. For three years now."

"My parents are dentists, you see, and they convinced me that three dentists in one family is quite enough."

"So are mine! Did you always have sugar-free holiday desserts?"

"Yes, I believe I was eleven before I knew what cookies were supposed to taste like!"

"Are you two dating?" Sean asked, giving Hermione what looked suspiciously like a wink.

"Yes," Sirius responded quickly, putting his arm around Hermione. "We are engaged, as a matter of fact. Isn't that right, honey?"

"That's right, sweetie. We're going to buy the ring tomorrow," she told Fiona. "And you two?"

"Yes," she answered, eyeing Sirius. "Sean and I have an open relationship. Sam, has anyone ever told you that you look like Daniel Day-Lewis?"

Sirius looked confused for a moment and Hermione said, "Oh, yes, I tell him that all the time, don't I, Sam?"

"She does," he said, planting a kiss on her forehead. He ran his finger along her jawline. "My little buttercup."

"You're a bit older than her, aren't you, Sam?" Sean asked.

Sirius glared at him. "Oh, a few years or so."

"You look about 35, and Helen doesn't look any older than 25," Fiona commented.

Sirius grinned broadly at Fiona. "Spot on! I am 35."

Now Hermione glared at Fiona. Isn't she aware that our imaginary relationship is not open? And what is Sirius playing at? He must be 45. But she's right, he does look about 35. . .

"You know, Sam, I'm getting rather tired."

"How is that possible, Helen, with all that caffeine in your system?"

"But, Sam, you forgot that this is decaf. I think that we should go."

"Oh, all right." He stood up. "Goodbye, Fiona!" he shouted, blowing a kiss as they walked out the door.

"Oh, that was really funny, Sirius," Hermione said with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"I thought so, too, Helen," Sirius smiled.

"Well, let's find an isolated spot to Disapparate."

"Great. I had a wonderful time. We should do this again sometime."

Hermione lost the bossy glare and smiled softly at him. "Yes, I did, too."

"And don't forget, buttercup, we're going ring-shopping tomorrow."

"Ha. Too bad we left before I got Sean's number."

"Too bad for you."

They walked further down the street, looking for a place to Disapparate. "Remus and I used to dress as Muggles and harass people in pubs. But you know it's much more fun when they're not drunk."

"Oh, it certainly is," she quickly responded. Sirius smiled a little. When he'd mentioned Remus, she'd been a little afraid that the subject might be a painful one. After Remus's death six years ago, Sirius had become the last remaining Marauder. He seems okay, now, she thought.

Sirius suddenly stopped and gave her a hug. "I'm glad I've got you here, now."

"Me too."

A few seconds later they were walking back to Hogwarts. "Let's go back to ten o'clock, now, if you don't mind," Sirius said.

Hermione pulled the time-turner out of her purse and slipped it around their necks. Sirius had to bend over to fit his head inside the small chain, and his head brushed against Hermione's. "Here we go," she whispered in his ear.