St Patrick's Day

"Sea-mus," Ron groaned, hopping from foot to foot in the seventh year Gryffindor boy's dormitory at Hogwarts. "Hurry up!"

"You're one to talk, Ron," Dean replied snidely. "You took half an hour to get dressed!"

Ron flushed.

"Shut up, Dean, and hurry up, Seamus!" he said.

Seamus finally came out of their bathroom, in a blinding shock of green.

"Oh my Lord," Harry Potter breathed.

"Do you like it?" Seamus asked proudly.

The other four boys just stared, and rightfully so.

Seamus was wearing tight, green leather pants, a sleeve-less green shirt, green boots with a slight heel to them, and he had dyed his hair, surprise surprise - green.

"Seamus," Neville asked finally, "what in the name of Merlin are those shamrocks on your hat doing?"

The Irishman pulled off his lime-green beanie and grinned at it.

"Isn't it fantastic? I got Hermione to charm the shamrocks so they danced. Me da bought it for me, at some second-hand Muggle shop."

"Well," Harry said faintly, "I guess we should be going."

"Oh, no!" Ron said, seemingly breaking his stupor. "I refuse to go anywhere with him while he's dressed like that!"

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Seamus demanded defensively. "Just because I have pride in my home country..."

Thus began a long argument between Ron and Seamus, both convinced that they were more loyal than the other.

"...and in fourth year, when Harry was chosen as TriWizard Champion, I stood by him! You're saying that I'm not loyal?!"

Harry gaped at these last few words.

"Ron, if I remember correctly, you were the one who didn't speak to me after I was chosen as champion!"

Dean put two of his fingers into his mouth and let out a shrill whistle. The other four boys winced collectively.

"Right," Dean grinned. "Ron, you acted like a prat during fourth year, and you're coming with us whether you like it or not. This trip is for you, remember? Seamus, your outfit looks fine. Happy St Patrick's Day. Harry, forget about what Ron said. He has a very selective memory. And Neville...er...good on you for being Neville."

Ron looked grumpy, Harry looked satisfied, Neville looked like Neville and Seamus looked delighted.

"You like my outfit, Dean?" he asked eagerly. "Isn't it fabulous? I thought it would make a statement, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, it makes a statement, alright," Ron grumbled.

"Out! Go!" Dean commanded. Everyone filed out the door, out the portrait hall, down the corridors and staircases, and out of the castle.

_

"Why are we looking in a used women's lingerie store?" Harry demanded. "You're not going to get anything tasteful for Hermione here, Ron!"

"Oh, I don't know..." Ron replied absently, holding up a lacy black corset. Dean and Seamus waggled their eyebrows at each other suggestively.

"But Ron, someone else has worn that, and done Merlin knows what in it, too!" Harry protested.

"Well, Harry, look what you wore for sixteen years of your life," Neville pointed out helpfully. Harry looked slightly put out.

"Can we go?" he whined finally, after trailing after the other boys in the lingerie store.

"Yes, I think so," Dean replied firmly. "Nothing good here, Ron."

They left.

"Ooh, look!" Seamus squealed. "They weren't here before!"

'They' were a group of booths, all in green, manned by leprechauns.

"Let's go look!" Seamus said, running over to the nearest one.

"Hullo, I'm Kevin," said the leprechaun.

A chorus of 'hello's was heard from the Gryffindors.

The next booth they went to held little glass globes, filled with scenes of strange weather.

"That one is weird," Ron commented, pointing to a little globe depicting a scene of purple envelopes filled with some kind of white powder falling from the sky in place of rain.

"Ah, this one?" said the leprechaun, Chris, picking it up. "It was crafted by the ancient Dimon Tode. Charming little piece."

The boys nodded noncommittally and moved onto the next booth, one next to The Three Broomsticks. From inside, they heard someone laughing raucously, and another making a speech.

"...and sho, I just wan'ed to shay, I don't know half of you half as bloody well ash I should like, and I like less than half of ye's half as well as ye deserve!" a drunken voice slurred.

Ron and Neville exchanged strange looks, and together, they all moved onto the next booth.

_

He was sitting calmly in the Great Hall, devouring his breakfast with gusto, making small conversation between the other Gyrffindors at his table.

The peace was interrupted, however, by a sudden materialisation at the doors. Hermione, of all people, was standing naked in the open doors.

"Ron!" she wailed, sounding amazingly similar to a banshee. "You forgot!"

And with that, she ran the length of the room screaming and weeping, leaving through the doors opposite.

Ron woke with a start.

"Harry!" he hissed.

A tousled head poked out of the curtains.

"What?" he mumbled blearily.

"I never ended up getting anything for Hermione!"

~críoche~