Parvati Patil Fancies You

Errie

Story Summary:
Based on the short story, 'Belinda Buckle Fancies You' in David Lawrence's the 'Chocolate Teapot.' In which Harry writes a love letter, Pansy sulks, Neville falls from his chair and Snape hands out detentions. Set during HBP.

Posted:
12/20/2006
Hits:
569
Author's Note:
Dedicated to my crazy siblings...I feel normal around you. Thanks for demanding where the rest was after reading this...I should probably point out that my brothers hate fanfiction so much that they are convinced it is evil, so that is high praise indeed


Parvati Patil Fancies You

Harry was in shock when he heard. Parvati Patil fancies you. He couldn't have heard Lavender correctly. Parvati had been to the Yule ball with him but she wasn't interested, was she? Harry had always presumed she liked Seamus. But that was what Lavender had said. Frankly, Harry was sick of Lavender, but he couldn't tell her to shut up without insulting Ron and he didn't really want a fight, so Lavender stuck around.

Lavender was a gossip. It wasn't like it was a big secret or anything. Nothing was a big secret with Lavender. She didn't know the meaning of the word secret. Some of the things she believed were pretty ridiculous. No one but her believed that there was anything between Flitwick and McGonagall. Yet she could still deny that there was anything between Ron and Hermione, even Harry wasn't that blind. But she seemed so sure this time. She would know too. She was Parvati's best friend.

Harry considered it. He hadn't had a date since the Cho incident, as he now called it. He hadn't really thought about dating much since. Maybe seeing another girl would help him to forget Ginny. There was nothing wrong with Parvati; he had never really gotten the chance to know her. She was pretty, fairly intelligent and not half as bad as Lavender, if he remembered the Yule ball correctly. By the time Ron and Lavender had snuck off to some abandoned classroom during lunch time Harry's mind was set. He would ask Parvati out.

All he needed now was a plan

And therein was the problem. Harry wasn't very good with plans, nor was he very good with girls. He needed Hermione for this sort of thing. That in itself was a problem; Hermione wouldn't want him going out with 'a bimbo like Lavender' so wouldn't help him. He couldn't find her anyway; she'd been missing all morning.

Harry decided he had three options. He could:-

  1. Stand up in the common room and confess his undying love for her,

  2. Slip a note into Dumbledore's assembly announcements asking her to marry him,

  3. Give her a letter in the next lesson asking her to meet him later.

He decided that, as he wasn't sure if the rumour was true, and he didn't quite know how serious he was prepared to be anyway, he would use option number three. It was better safe than sorry, he reasoned.

He decided to write his letter in the form of a poem. Girls like poems, he reasoned, they're romantic. So he wrote her the following note:

From HP to PP:

I heard you like me

And as you can see

I wrote this within the hour

I hope it is true,

For I like you too,

If not I will be very sour

Your eyes make me stare,

You smile with such care,

Your beauty is like a rare flower.

If you want to hold hands,

Or flick elastic bands,

Meet me in the Astronomy tower (tonight).

He was quite proud of his composing and thought he had portrayed his feelings well, although, he wasn't sure that she would want to flick elastic bands, and he wasn't sure he wanted to either, but that was the only thing he could think of that would rhyme with hands so it would have to do. Now the only problem was how to get it to her.

His next lesson was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Just pass it down the rows to her, that would have been Ron's plan, but Harry didn't think much of that idea, so hadn't consulted Ron. It would have been okay if they had Quirrel, who was so incredibly clueless he wouldn't notice him passing a note. Lupin wouldn't have minded and Lockheart would have encouraged it. Snape, however, was an entirely different matter. The very least Snape could do was read the note out to the class, and Harry wanted to avoid that at all costs. Snape would notice if he passed notes, and if he didn't Harry had no doubt the letter would go astray and end up in the hands of a Slytherin. Harry shuddered at the thought of Pansy Parkinson getting hold of this juicy piece of gossip. It would be all over the school by dinner time.

"Play to your strengths," Moody had once told him. He had used a summoning charm then...he could use a banishing charm now! It was perfect! Harry was brilliant at summoning and banishing charms; if he concentrated, there was no way the plan could go wrong. That man may have been a completely insane Deatheater who had tried to murder him, but his advice sure did come in useful.

And so Harry put his plan into action. Using his superior knowledge of Quidditch, brooms and streamlining the handle to get the best steering, he folded the paper into what he thought was the best shape to reach Parvati's desk. He waited, as patiently as he could, until Snape's back was turned as he wrote the instructions on the chalk board, and then concentrated with all his mite on aiming the spell so that it hit the paper at exactly the right direction and speed to send it forward at a slight angle to land directly on Parvati's desk.

He was casting the spell, muttering the charm, waving his wand in the right motion, when suddenly Neville, sat at the next desk from the double desk Harry and Ron were sharing, fell sideways out of his chair and grabbed Harry's outstretched arm for support. The spell hit the paper at the wrong angle, and in the resulting chaos of Snape trying to get to the bottom of which Gryffindor was at fault for the hubbub, Harry just caught a glance of where the letter landed. As if in slow motion it came to rest on the double desk next to the one shared by Parvati and Seamus...the desk shared by Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson.

The thought of suicide crossed Harry Potter's mind, but he pushed it away.

Pansy Parkinson, in her seat next to Draco Malfoy, was not happy. Draco was ignoring her again. She didn't care how important the task he was doing was, he hadn't exchanged one word with her in the past two days, and to her that wasn't acceptable. She had hoped that her sulking would have been a reasonable protest, but he just ignored her more than usual.

There was a loud crash behind them and all pandemonium broke out. Draco stood up in his place to get a better look. He even found Longbottom more interesting than her!

That was the last straw for Pansy. "I," she said aloud, "am finishing you, Draco Malfoy. I will find a new boyfriend!" It was all in vain, however. He didn't hear a word of it over all the shouting going on and it was an empty threat, anyway: both Draco and Pansy knew that there wasn't another boy in Hogwarts who would want Pansy Parkinson after the way she had followed Draco around for the past six years.

She stared at her desk, still sulking about Draco. Slowly, a small, strangely folded piece of parchment drifted into her range of vision. She grabbed it.

It was addressed to her. From HP...Harry Potter had sent her a note. Her eyes widened further as she read down. Harry Potter had sent her a love note!

What alternate universe had she sunken into? She pinched herself hard to make sure she wasn't dreaming, but it hurt, quite a lot, so she knew it was true.

Snape was calming the class quickly, and she needed to come to some kind of decision before Draco saw the note. She glanced at the blond beside her, and decided he wasn't worth her time. She glanced over her shoulder at Potter, who she saw was watching her nervously. He wasn't too bad looking, she decided, and he looked kind of sweet when he was nervous like that; running a hand through his hair and making it appear windswept. Draco had never done anything as caring as send her a love note. Maybe she should give dating Potter a try, put aside those prejudices against Gryffindors and find out what life with someone honest in it was like.

Just as Draco was turning back to face her, she turned around and gave Harry an enormous smile. "See you tonight," she mouthed, and winked at him. She didn't look at him long enough to read his expression, but turned back to the front of the classroom. Life would look up from here on, she just knew it.

Harry watched the paper, maybe they wouldn't notice. Malfoy wasn't paying any attention: Snape yelling at Neville was one of his favourite forms of entertainment, after all. Parkinson, however, caught the piece of paper before it even hit the desk. He watched apprehensively a she carefully unfolded the parchment.

Her face went through various stages of emotion as her eyes scanned the page several times. As Malfoy turned back to the front she stuffed the letter out of sight and did the most unexpected thing:

She turned round and gave him the biggest grin he'd ever seen, mouthed, "See you tonight," and winked at him!

Why would she want to see him tonight? Maybe she wanted to make a deal in exchange for her keeping the information secret. He'd have to see what she wanted. What kind of thing would Pansy Parkinson want from him?

And then it hit him.

Harry Potter took many deep breaths to drive the thoughts of suicide from his mind.

Pansy Parkinson...

...PP.

Pansy thought she was the PP Harry wanted to meet in the Astronomy Tower tonight!

Ron and Hermione weren't speaking, he couldn't seem to get rid of Lavender Brown, Draco Malfoy was involved in some deadly plot, he needed a new way to ask out Parvati and on top of all that, he'd just made Pansy Parkinson believe he was interested in her. Could Harry Potter's life get any worse?

"As you see it fit to not pay attention in class, Mr Potter, you can pay attention in a week worth of detentions," said Snape's voice, cutting through his troubled thoughts.

It would seem that it could.