Harry Potter and This Year's Interviews

Chap.3: Ronald Weasley

Ennil enters the Burrow and finds Ron dinning at the table, she sits next to him and Mrs. Weasley gives her diner.

Ennil: Hello, Ron

Ron: Yeah! Yeah!

Ennil: What's wrong?

Ron: Why should I tell you?

Ennil: 'Cause this is an interview and you're suppose to tell me your dark secrets.

Ron: But in the summary it says...

Ennil: Never mind the summary! Just tell me what's wrong!

Ron: Well...

Ennil: Come on!

Ron: Okay...

Ennil: So...

Ron: I'm dead.

Ennil: ...............................

Ron: Yes, that's the truth.

Ennil: When did you die?

Ron: Yesterday

Ennil: Wha...?

Ron: Yep

Ennil: Who killed you?

Ron: Maybe my mom, maybe Charlie, I'm not sure.

Ennil: Wow, you look... well, now to think about it, you do look a little rotten.

Ron: I do?!

Ennil: Yeah, you look red and dirty.

Ron: That's how I usually look.

Ennil: Ooohhhhhh...........Sorry.

Ron: Never mind.

Author: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ennil: What again?

Author: Sirius...dead...me...jinxed...dead...Sirius...bad dog...why...

Ennil: What?

Ron: She's saying that Sirius died in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and that she's jinxed because every person that she likes dies at the end (Spike, Leo, Sirius, etc...). She also says that Sirius was a bad dog to go out when Dumbledore said no and she's asking why.

Ennil: What?! Sirius's dead?! Oh my God!!!! Why? Why? Why?!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ron: Yes that's what she's saying.

....................Few minutes after because the Author and Ennil needed to calm down.................

Ron: You better?

Ennil: Yeah thinks so...

Ron: Blimey! I never knew so many people fancied Sirius!

Ennil: Hmmmmm.............what? Anywhooo....here's the form.

Form: 1. Are you bored?

Ron: I'm not sure. I mean I'm taking questions from a Muggle form! What do you think?

Ennil: That every person who agreed to do this interview are idiots and that I'm gonna sue J.K.Rowling for killing Sirius.

Form: 2. Do you believe in God?

Ron: I...hummm... I gotta pee!

Ennil: No!

Ron shrugged and wet his pants.

Ron: Never mind. Continue.

Form: 3. what was your first word?

Ron: I don't remember and nobody heard me because Mum was yelling stuff to George and Fred and I was under the sink.

Ennil: Why were you under the sink?

Ron: I didn't have a room at that time so...

Ennil: You slept under the sink?!

Ron: No, that was my bathroom.

Ennil: Then where bloody hell did you sleep?!

Ron: In the sink.

Ennil: Why did I even ask?

Form: 4. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Ron: Well, you know... A big donkey who is perfect, even that mirror said so!

Ennil: What mirror?

Ron: The mirror of You-Know-What!

Ennil: You-Know-What? Is that a genderless Voldemort?

Ron: Yeah, right..........

Form: 5. what's your favorite food?

Ron: Dog food. That's the only thing they feed me.

Ennil looks at her dinner and pushes it aside considering it was Mrs. Weasley who gave it to her for a "Thank you for interviewing my son"

Ron: Sorry I didn't tell you but you looked pleased with it and plus I have Fred and George's DNA.

Ennil: Bloody hell! You sodding boy!

Ron: Like Fred and George would have said: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Form: You go Ronald!

Ennil: Hey!

Form: Euh... I mean...6. What is the weirdest thing you have ever done?

Ron: Become friend with Hermione. I mean, come on! J.K.Rowling as gone to the deep end! Thinking that I would be friends with someone like her! And Harry had to save her from the troll! The heroic bastard!

Ennil: I thought you liked her?

Ron: Well...well, I...NO!

Ennil: Then why were you so jealous when she talks about Victor?

Ron: Because I'm a bleeding idiot!

Ennil: Yeah, that I know.

Form: 7. If a naked man would jump here right now, what would you do?

Ron: Well, I wouldn't have much to do with it. The heroic bastard would jinx him and "Save my life"! The heroic bastard!

Ennil: You really hate him don't you?

Ron: No... He's my best friend! And yeah I hate him.

Form: 8. If you were stranded on a desert island?

Ron: I would stay there away from everyone and live happily ever after.

Ennil: That's what you're gonna get if you continue answering questions that way.

Ron: Okay.

Form: 9. If you were stranded on a nude beach?

Ron: Why are you even asking me that? You know the answer!

Ennil: You're gonna stay there and live happily with naked people?

Ron: No! of course not!

Ennil: What?

Ron: I would never do that!

Ennil: Do what?

Ron: What?

Ennil: Why are you asking what?

Ron: Why what?

Ennil: What?

Form: Oh! For God's sake! Never mind!

Ron: Okay.

Ennil: Yeah, sure.

Form: 10. When will you die?

Ron: I don't know but I'm sure J.K. will kill me somewhere in the books.

Ennil: Yeah that's what they say but I don't know...

Ron: Look if I die...

Ennil: I'll be real happy!

Ron: Then never mind.

Form: 7. If you would take a picture of one glorious moment which one would it be?

Ron: The one were Harry dies. And Hermione has lost her memory.

Ennil: The interviews over and I gotta go find a new job! So bye.

Ron: Gotta go back to my sink.

Ron goes under the sink and Ennil leaves with the Jobs part of the Daily Prophet.

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Next:

-Chap.4: My late luv: Sirius Black

-Chap.5: Draco Malfoy

-Chap.6: Thomas Marvolo Riddle/ Lord Voldemort.

-Chap.7: Hermione Granger