Harry Potter and This Year's Interviews

Chap.2: Severus Snape! The slimy...

Sevie: Hey you didn't give Potter that kind of title!

Author: I like him more! Now shut up! I'm going!

Severus was sitting on his Slytherin sofa in green bunny pajamas. The author now had gone and Ennil just entered.

Ennil: Hi, Sev...

Sevie: Potter, always the author's favorite!

Ennil: Actually...

Sevie: Nobody cares about old Sevie here! No!

Ennil: Well, you see...

Sevie: They just think I'm an old slimy git! But...

Ennil: Severus! I love you! Yes, I do! But I can't love you! 'Cause you're my father!

Sevie: Wha...?

Ennil: Ha ha! Always works!

Sevie: Wha...?

Ennil: Look if you want to know...

Sevie: No.

Ennil: Okay, so what's you're name.

Sevie: That's some personal information you want there!

Ennil: Okay, so...

Sevie: Okay, if you insist! Severus Bunnyps Snape.

Ennil: So I'm guessing the Bunnyps stands for the bunny pjs you're wearing.

Sevie: Hey! It was a gift from my granny! She still thinks I'm 4 and a girl!

Ennil: Yes! How interesting! So the question everyone wanders...

Dramatic voice: Dum Dum Dum Dudummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ennil: How did you get in the Gryffindor common room?

Sevie: By this edition of "How to get into common rooms for dummies". It includes Huffulpuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor and if you forgot your password for Slytherin...How to get in! real quick Only 6 galleons, 4 for shipping and handling. Does not include the bunny pajamas, May not work for intelligent people and Mudbloods.

Ennil: Okay, here's a quick question for you: What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it, you will die?

Sevie: What?!

Ennil: Nothing.

Sevie: I'm serious what's the answer?

Ennil: Nothing.

Sevie: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Nothing is greater than God, nothing is more evil than the devil, the poor have nothing, the rich need nothing, and if you eat nothing, you will die.

Ennil: Yes, you got it! What is your normal reaction whenever confronted by a holy symbol, garlic, silver weapon, or holy water?

Sevie: What do you think I'm a bloody vampire?! You should probably ask that question to Malfoy.

Ennil: I will, now tell me your answer.

Sevie: I would send the *.......* to a sabatical. And I hope it would be Hagrid.

Ennil: I guess you do. Well, let's do the Form.

Sevie: What?!

Ennil: It's a Muggle form I used with Harry.

Sevie: Humpf!

Form:

1. Are you bored?

Sevie: Yes, but I'm getting 20 Galleons a minute in this think.

Form:

2. Do you believe in God?

Sevie: No, I believe only in the Slytherin power which rules the world.

Form:

3. what was your first word?

Sevie: No bath!

Ennil: Are you serious?!

Sevie: Yes, that was the last time I had a bath...

Ennil: Oh my, no wonder you smell like a rotten onion!

Sevie: Considering I spoke the first time when I was 10!

Ennil: Huh?!

Sevie: Yes, that's the truth!

Ennil: Mmm... I'm sure.

Form:

4. what do you want to be when you grow up?

Sevie: Alive and out of Hogwarts.

Ennil: That's a great answer!

Sevie: I have a gift.

Ennil: For answering Form questions?

Sevie: No, for being bored to death by you.

Ennil: I hate you.

Sevie: Join the club!

Ennil: I would if I could!

Sevie: You can! Granger secretly started it at the same time as S.P.E.W; it's called A.S.S.I.S, which stands for "Asshole Severus Snape Is Slimy". The meetings are held every Saturdays at 10h.

Ennil: How do you know so many things on it?

Sevie: I'm part of it, OKAY!! They give 75% on Coakroach Clusters!

Ennil: You are weird my brother!

Sevie: Bloody hell! (A/N: I love that phrase!)

Form:

5. what's your favorite food?

Sevie: I don't eat.

Ennil: Why?

Sevie: It's bad for my hair.

Form:

6. what is the weirdest thing you have ever done?

Sevie: Talking to you; the same answer goes for "What's the worst thing that you have ever done?"

Ennil: Well, you're wearing bunny pjs.

Sevie: mumbles wellyorastupidwomanwhodosnthaveaprperjod.

Ennil: You slimy git!

Sevie: NO!!! STOP!! We cannot fight or we'll end up in love! Like in other fics!

Ennil: Good point!

Form:

7. If a naked man would jump here right now, what would you do?

Sevie: Shrink his head and then take 10 points off Gryffindor.

Ennil: ................................................................................................

Sevie: Everyone who annoys must have been in Gryffindor!

Form:

8. If you were stranded on a desert island?

Sevie: I wouldn't be.

Ennil: If you were?

Sevie: I don't leave the Dungeons! And islands are in seas, sea is water, and since I don't touch water nor go near it, I don't think I would be stranded.

Ennil: But what if you accidentally apparated there?

Sevie: I would apparat back.

Ennil: God help me!

Sevie: Trust me he won't.

Ennil: Why should I trust you?

Sevie: Good question.

Form:

9. If you were stranded on a nude beach?

Sevie: Still with the stupid questions...

Ennil: Just bloody well answer it! ( A/N: Eh, eh, eh)

Sevie: Okay! Okay! I would... Take a 100 point off Gryffindor and give them all detentions for being nude on quidditch ground.

Form:

10. When will you die?

Sevie: If this interview is not finished and you're not gone, probably now!

Ennil: And if I'm gone?

Sevie: Probably 'till the next time I see you.

Form:

11. If you would take a picture of one glorious moment which one would it be?

Sevie: The one you go away and never come back.

Ennil: Then it's now 'cause the interview is over!

Sevie: Thank god!!

Ennil gets out of the common room, while Severus is singing "Hallelujah!"