A Traitorous Mind

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

-Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizen in a Republic", April 23, 1910

 

Hermione sat looking at the cover of the leather photo album for a long time. Imprinted upon it in gold letters was the inscription ‘July 2000 to date’. The dates covered the last four years, right back to when she and Ron had got engaged and changed the sign on ‘Weasley and Granger, Independent Aurors’ to Weasley and Weasley. Just before the first big case. Her hands ran over the grooves the letters and numbers made before opening it finally.

The photo album was no ordinary one. Not only were the pictures magical, but some were taken in situations where no camera could have been. The album was in fact very like a Pensieve, in that it made a visual record of any particularly notable moments of its owner’s life. On it’s first page Hermione saw the picture of Remus presenting it to her as an engagement present. There was also a picture of her and Ron, both beaming at each other, which made her smile. Another picture showed Lyca (who then had been named after her mother, her only known parent at the time) and Harry, who at that point had been unattached.

There weren’t all that many pictures of the case that had been the first set of serial killings after Voldemort. It had been centred on the prejudice of one woman, Orenda (who had been a supposed friend of Harry’s) against wizards on non human blood, collectively known to themselves as the Miseresse. One of the last pictures on that case was on Cape Wrath, on Orenda’s grounds, where Remus Lupin, having just found out he was in fact Lyca’s father, had hurriedly Apparated to stop the Dark witch from casting a spell, despite being told to remain with Lyca’s mother. It had been straight after Hermione’s and Ron’s wedding. Hermione had never got the mud stains out of her wedding dress, but she only half heartedly wanted to. It had been a successful time. Not to mention she’d become pregnant with her first child just before.

Her hand went to her abdomen. To the second child she hadn’t yet told Ron about. She would, and soon, but she needed to sort some things out in her head first. She turned the pages forward faster now, skipping past the many pictures of her red headed daughter Athena, who gazed cheerfully out of the pages with eyes the twin to Hermione’s own.

And then she came to the scenes that started just over a month ago. The pictures of them receiving news of Dumbledore’s imminent death, after a severe attack at the hands of Voldemort. Harry telling her what they had to do, them searching in Dumbledore’s Pensieve.... there were several pictures before they even got to the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix that had been staged that very same day. There was pictures then of the people selected to go and search for the Forgotten Curse (the curse that removes a person’s soul) in the Chamber of Challenges, one on behalf of each house. There the pictures left off, her own mind filling in the rest of the story to the next one. Though she had not been with Lyca, Draco Malfoy, Harry and Hannah Abbott as they had journeyed through the chambers, she knew a lot of what had happened. She’d been told in detail about the group chamber, where Hannah had come to shine, and to the end chamber where Draco had killed the dark spirit that guarded the curse by using the Ravenclaw knife that Lyca had left in his care. She had also been given information of the individual chambers recently too. Most interesting was that which had belonged to Draco. He had been shown the horrendous deaths of people close to him, and had, in his despair, given an oath that if he could have the people back, he would protect them to the death if he possibly could. His tormentors had made a way to hold him eternally to this, by placing a gold band tight to his wrist, which promised pain if he left those he’d promised to save in danger.

Finally, she came to the pictures of the night where Harry and Draco had gone against the decision of their small committee to not use the Curse the four representatives had put their lives on the line to find. The first of the pictures showed Remus and Hermione finding out the ‘catch’ of performing the spell on Voldemort, the fact it removed the soul of the caster. However, some strange brand of luck had made Draco grab Harry’s wand arm and force him down to avoid a Death Curse just as Harry was casting the spell. They had both been hit by the side effect, but at a lesser force, so neither completely lost their soul, Harry slightly worse than Draco in state. The pictures immediately following showed Hermione realising what was wrong with them, why they couldn’t show any kind of emotion. Then the discovery of the solution, and them administering the potion they invented. And, finally, a picture of her talking with Harry about the side effects of the potion. Draco hadn’t had any. But Harry had said he couldn’t remember the whole incident with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, where they’d nearly been killed and been made into the same sort of vegetable that the Dark Lord now was. Shutting the book quietly, she wondered if Harry still suffered from the memory loss. However, before she could focus on that thought, she heard a stirring in the next room. She tapped the crystal ball in front of her, disgusted with the obvious reference to the one subject she’d never completed a whole years course in, and watched as the picture of the main bedroom of the Riddle house came into view. She couldn’t go into the room itself, despite being on the landing, as it was smothered in so many wards it was unbelievable, especially as the person in the centre, as Draco had put it a month before had ‘all the mental capabilities of a carrot’. The fallen Dark Lord lay on the bed as usual. He’d obvious just rolled over. Hermione shuddered at the sight of the unfocused blood-red eyes. Downstairs, she heard the true sound of the noise, as someone came to take over her watch. Picking up her album, she swapped with Sirius gladly. All she wanted to do right now was sleep. Walking into the evening air, she headed away from the Riddle house until she was out of the Apparation Dampeners and Apparated home.

* * * * *

It was a beautiful evening, Lyca had to admit it. Barely a month had passed since Voldemort’s downfall. His third and final downfall as far as the history books were concerned. It felt like a lifetime ago to her. Yet, to the person she sat next to underneath the coppery sycamore, it felt like a lost yesterday, a misplaced memory. Harry’s eyes focussed out across the lake as the sun set over it. He didn’t notice as a single terracotta leaf fluttered down from the tree to settle upon his shoulder. Lyca watched it for a moment, before reaching over and brushing it off. He stirred out of his trance at her touch, turning his emerald green eyes to look at her. She sighed, and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.

There was no such thing as a fairy tale ending. Or if there was, neither of them were living it.

Eventually Harry spoke. "I should have got me memories back by now."

"Not necessarily. We don’t know anything about the potion-"

"Lyca, its been a month. I haven’t got anything back. Not even a Draught of Living Death would last this long in that small a dosage."

"What do you propose to do then? Does the memory of that night really matter that much?"

"It matters a lot. Not because I need the ego boost. But because I feel lost without my past to look back upon. And because I need to know how some things fall into place. I’d rather know nothing than bits."

Lyca pondered for a second then replied. "I think we ought to go see Hermione. She might have an answer."

"But the office doesn’t open again for another fortnight..."

The young woman grinned mischievously. "Somehow Harry, I don’t think Hermione will mind being bothered by her best friend. It’s getting cold now the suns gone down. Let’s go back in. You will be staying the night wont you? It’s not as if you have Quidditch training for another week."

Harry smiled. "I’ll stay if you parents won’t complain. We’ll go to see Herm and Ron tomorrow. I want to get this worked out as soon as possible."

He offered her his arm, which she took gently, before walking back to Phoenix Cottage together.

* * * * *

Hermione’s face lit up to see the two of them when she opened the door to her marital home in Hogsmeade. The red-haired girl she held at her hip clamoured at Lyca, who willingly took charge of young Athena Weasley. It was Harry who spoke first.

"Hermione, they haven’t come back. The memories of that night..."

The brunette’s face fell a little, but she still beckoned them inside eagerly. "Lyca, if you want to take that little rogue into the lounge, Ron will be delighted to see the both of you. Harry, if you’d come with me to the study, we’ll see what we can come up with."

* * * * *

"Ron?"

Lyca looked at the redhead in concern. He looked drained, his skin pale under his freckles. His hair hung more limp than usual, and his watery blue eyes stared out of the window he was sat by, glazed over. At the sound of her voice, she started. Seeing them there, he gave them a wan smile.

"Hello Lyca," he looked down at the released toddler waddling over to him, "Hello angel."

"I’m not an angel Daddy. Mummy says I’m a little wogue. Can’t be both Daddy, and Mummy said it first."

Both adults laughed at the youngster, who frowned at the audacity these big people were showing her. As Ron swept Athena into a bear hug, Lyca spoke up. "You aren’t looking so great Ron."

The man shrugged. "Hermione hasn’t been well recently. She’s always tired too. So I’m trying to make sure she doesn’t have to do too much."

Now it was Lyca’s turn to frown. "You should still sleep you know."

"I’ll live Lyca. Caffiene suits me fine."

"Caffiene? Listen, Ron, the magical solution to that problem is far more effective. Wakefulness potions are ten times better than any cup of coffee. Although, they taste about as good as pond water. I’ve got a bottle here somewhere," she searched her pockets before pulling out a large bottle and placing it on a nearby table. "You don’t need much at all. Just a sip should do – No more than 5 sips a day, don’t want to kill yourself through lack of sleep. It’s like caffiene in that it doesn’t stop you needing sleep. Just make you feel more awake."

Ron smiles at her gratefully. "Thank you. Any more energy would be great. I’ll not overdo it."

"Just make sure you don’t. Oh, and-"

At that moment, Hermione came in with Harry. A flap of wings outside the open window told Lyca that one of the Weasley’s owls was on a mission. It was Harry who told her what.

"We decided to owl Malfoy. He has the memories. Hermione thinks that I should be able to mind link with him. That was, I at least have a version from his point of view. I may be able to piece together mine from his."

Lyca nodded. "Worth a try certainly. If he agrees. Anyway, we’d better be off. Come on Harry."

Hermione saw them out. Before she left, Lyca turned to her one last time. "You have to tell him."

"I will. When I think he can cope."

"He’ll guess Herm. If you don’t start to show before then that is."

Hermione shook her head. "I have an illusion on....Lyca, I will tell him. I will. I promise. Just not yet."

* * * * *

Draco had far from impressed at having Harry call upon his services so soon after the ‘incident’ as he referred to it in his owl to Hermione. However, he left instructions for Harry to meet him at Malfoy Mansion on the Saturday. Harry took the opportunity to use a broomstick for transport for the first time in a long while. By looking at a map, he was amused to find the house and grounds were situated in a Scottish town called Killin. A rather aptly named spot for the most manipulative pureblood family ever to have lived.

When he arrived, he was greeted by a young looking, dark-blonde witch who had one hand firmly upon the shoulder of a white haired boy of about five. She informed Harry that Mr Malfoy was busy and would be ready in about an hour, but would he be willing to keep an eye on Calum for a tick, she’d get some proper tea, not any of that rotten conjured stuff.

Harry, slightly dazed, agreed without quite knowing what it was he’d just agreed to.

He found out quite a lot about her in the following hour. Jen (or Jennifer, should you enjoy being hexed beyond existence) was a pureblood Ravenclaw. She had a passion for riding, be it a Muggle sport or no, and was taking her Auror exams. Looking after Calum whilst Blaise was at her frequent Witches International conventions as one of the British ambassadors was paying her living fees, and Calum was no trouble at all anyway. Harry could have sat there for a long time. Hearing someone talk about themselves so openly was humanising. It made it seem like everything that had happened was for a good reason. However, in what seemed like no time at all, a voice came from the doorway.

"I thought that you were here to see me Potter, not gossip with my childminder. If I would be so bold as to ask you to accompany me to the study, we might just get something accomplished."

Harry sighed, before getting to his feet. Bidding farewell to Jen, he followed Draco out of the door.

* * * * *

Harry eyed the vial of potion in front of him suspiciously. Draco watched him quietly in turn, something that resembled his old sneer upon his face. The way he sat let some of his sleeve fall lower down his arm, letting show the gold cuff at his right wrist. Eventually Harry looked up from the vials properly to meet the grey eyes Draco shared with his wife and son.

"How does the Binding Potion work then?"

"What it does, Potter, is let the drinker have complete access to one set of memories that the person they are touching lets them have access too. Afterwards, the mind barriers should close again, just this time you have the extra memories. So, will you just drink and get on with it?"

With one final glare at Draco, Harry reached forwards from where he sat and picked up the vial, looking at the electric blue potion only once more before downing it all in one gulp. It burnt at his throat as if it were a blazing fireball before turning ice cold. Then the world started to become unsteady. As everything started to spin, Harry felt a hand grasp his wrist roughly, the cool touch of metal against the back of his hand

He blacked out at that point. And started reliving the moment.

* * * * *

Harry opened his eyes again with a start, gasping as if he’d never breathed before in his life. Placing both palms flat on the table, he pushed himself upright. Draco sat unmoving, regarding him coolly, not making any movement or sound. Harry guessed he must have been conscious throughout.

"How long have I been out of it?" he asked finally

"A few hours. As long as the actual memory took. Gave me time to do paperwork with my free hand."

"Paperwork?"

"Believe it or not, protector to the Boy Who Lived et al is not my sole occupation in life."

Silence fell again for a second before Harry continued.

"It all felt so real..."

"That’s because it was real. Now, if that’s all you want, it’s getting dark. If you want to make it back to Phoenix on broomstick, you’d better get going."

"That’s all yes.... thank you...."

"My unavoidable pleasure Potter. But if you would excuse me, I have other things to be getting on with," he looked at his watch, "Jen is still here for another half an hour. She’ll be able to show you out."

Harry nodded and got to his feet, exiting the room quietly. He was met by Jen and Calum in the entrance hall before he could leave. She grinned at him mischievously.

"Trying to escape without saying goodbye? Did the meeting really go that badly?"

Harry shook his head. "No, it went well. I just didn’t want to be a bother."

"You aren’t a bother in the slightest. We like visitors. Don’t we Calum." The small boy nodded, sending his silvery mop into his eyes.

With a smile Harry placed a hand on the door handle. "It was nice to meet you. Good luck with the training." He offered her his other hand to shakes. She took it with another grin.

As she did so, Harry felt a bolt of energy go up from his fingers, through his arm, up his shoulder and neck into his head. His forehead started to pound painfully, making him lose balance and orientation. He let go of her hand as an impulsive reaction, falling backwards against the door. As soon as he lost contact, the pain lessened. He noticed Jen regarding him with concern. He smiled weakly.

"I’m alright. Just a head rush."

She didn’t look completely convinced. However, she did let him go, showing him outside before closing the door on the slowly darkening world, letting Harry make a hasty retreat.

* * * * *

He didn’t head straight to the Lupin home afterwards. He instead hovered over the forest that lay at the mansion’s back, separating it from the town, watching as stars started to appear into the purple evening sky. He brooded over the new memories in his mind, constantly replaying Voldemort’s last conscious moments. After a while, he sighed. He was complete now. As complete as he was going to be anyway. Feeling happier than he has in days, he prepared to head home. But before he could, the world went black, swirling down into an endless pool of darkness...

The girl whirled around at the crack of a twig from where Harry was, making her pony tail whip through the air wildly. Her breathing stopped for a moment as she searched the area of trees she’d already passed. She obviously saw no one, for she visibly relaxed, before turning back round and continued through the woods. Harry felt himself being involuntarily pulled after her, weaving in a confusing, logic-less pattern behind. As she heard more and more noises, the young woman started walking faster, her breath becoming ragged. The force pulling Harry got stronger in time with her pace, pulling him at great velocity. Finally, they reached a clearing. The girl whipped around again. There was a green flash and a scream, and Harry felt himself falling downwards.... ever downwards...

He gasped as he opened his eyes. Above him the trees towered high towards the now dark blue, noble kings looking to the celestial lights above. He pushed himself up from the pine needle covered forest floor and looked about him. There was no sign of his broom above or around him. He frowned. He had been quite high above the equally tree tops. He couldn’t have survived such a fall surely? He looked behind him where he has been lying on the earth.

No impact marks

His mind now turned to what he’d seen when he’d blacked out. It has seemed all so real. So very real.

Draco’s words earlier ran through his mind, ‘That’s because it was real Potter...’

Harry’s eyes widened in fear before he lurched to his feet and started to run in the direction he’d just seen. He called out the girl’s name frantically, with all the urgency and volume he could put behind it.

"Jen!"

* * * * *

Whatever fears Harry had had before were confirmed as he stumbled into the clearing. The trainee Auror lay on her back on the ground. Her hair was several shades darker due to her head resting in a pool of blood. Harry had seen some very peaceful corpses in his relatively short time upon the Earth. But this did not join that list. Jen’s face, like Astuci’s had been a few years previous, was a picture of complete horror. Her eyes had stared straight ahead, though they had lost all focus in death. Grey lips were parted in shock, one hand halfway to her wand whilst the other hung limp at her side. Her head had lolled to the left after impact. Harry fell to his knees at her side, his legs unable to hold him any longer. As he searched hopelessly for a pulse that he knew couldn’t be there, he heard the sound of hooves, which came to an abrupt hold behind him.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing here, in my woods, when you are supposed to be in Phoenix Cottage at this very moment?"

Harry’s voice was a cracked whisper as he turned to see Draco leaning on a tall ebony mare. "How did you know I’d be here?"

Draco raised his right hand casually. "This thing burns if any one of you are in danger in my local vicinity. So, tell me Potter, are you in danger?"

"Did you see J-Jen in your chamber." Harry asked shakily, the sound of her name setting his whole body shuddering.

"Yes...what is this about Potter?"

Harry moved to one side> Draco’s jaw dropped in horror similar to the look upon Jen’s grey face.

"Merlin, Morgana and Circe...Potter, what the hell is going on?"