Reasons Why Arranged Marriages Are Bad Ideas

Reasons Why Arranged Marriages Are Bad Ideas

By: Emiko

{Part Three}

~~~

Never before had Draco's hate for the Gryffindors reached such heights.

Draco scanned the crowded Great Hall for all those who really needed to be there when he did what he had to do. Blaise, of course, was chatting with some other Slytherin girls and occasionally glancing over in his direction. Very good. Granger had her head buried in a book with a sandwich in one hand. She was sitting with Potter and Weasley as usual, but also right next to Longbottom. Also, very good. Now, for a decent Hufflepuff.

...One that didn't like him? That took out just about every girl that was in Hufflepuff, except for perhaps the ones he offended more than usual. But even then, Hufflepuffs were a forgiving sort...

And there, walking towards the Hufflepuff table like a ray of light was beaming down upon him, was Justin Finch-Fletchley. As much as he didn't like it, Draco knew that this was exactly what fate -no, Longbottom; fate was what you called it when you didn't know the name of the person screwing you over- had condemned him to. He seemed to recall insulting the Mudblood several times over the whole petrifying incident back in their second year. There was no way he could like him much. Draco gathered his courage and headed towards him.

Fletchley spotted him approaching and stopped dead in his tracks, obviously weary of whatever sort of joke or comment he was going to be the butt of.

"Hallo, Fletchley," Draco said.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Fletchley asked wearily.

"Er, just..." Draco swallowed hard. "Look, nothing personal, all right?"

And, with a final glance over at Longbottom to make sure he was watching, Draco grabbed the sides of Fletchley's face and pulled him forward.

The Great Hall went silent.

Fletchley shoved Draco away coughing and sputtering. Draco wiped his mouth more than once. The Mudblood finally collected himself and said, "Malfoy, you sick fuck."

"It wasn't exactly enjoyable for me, either, Fletchley. You're a terrible kisser." A few Ravenclaws sniggered despite themselves. Snape struggled against falling out of his chair. "Go back to your lunch. I'm done with you."

Fletchley ran. Draco strolled. Noise in the Great Hall had increased to a soft murmuring, with the exception of Pansy Parkinson, who had let out a loud wail and was sobbing into her plate. A couple of girls sitting next to her were obliged to pat her on the back halfheartedly, but they looked just as shocked as everyone else. Draco sat down next to Crabbe and Goyle, ignoring their confounded expressions and Blaise's barely-stifled laughter farther down the table.

"Did you catch all that, Longbottom?" Draco called.

Longbottom nodded vigorously and turned to explain everything to his fellows. Hermione stared at him, then stared at Draco, then went back to her book. Draco caught her brushing out her hair with her fingers several times during lunch after that. It gave him an odd satisfaction to know that she was a Draco Malfoy fan like everyone else, even though not in public.

~~~

The rest of lunch went by without incident. The rest of the Slytherins sitting near Draco made sure not to involve him in conversation, but he wasn't worried about that. He would brush off all of the insanity from today, including all that was about to happen, as a weird side-effect from an ingredient Neville put in their potion that he wasn't supposed to.

The Dynamic Trio left the Great Hall with a crowd of other students, and Draco followed with a brief nod to Blaise. He caught up to Granger where she separated from Potter and Weasley and headed off to Arithmancy. He had the same class as her, and could've proposed to her then, but Blaise wanted this to be public.

"Granger- er, Hermione!" Draco called.

Granger stopped brushing at her hair (she had very little success with it, anyway, so it was probably best to just give up now) and stared at him. "What do you want?" she said, sounding just a little irritated.

This had to look authentic. Draco took one of the hands that were clutching her books so tightly and held it. "I need to ask you something."

"On your knees, Malfoy," said Granger through gritted teeth.

Draco obeyed begrudgingly. "Hermione Granger, will you marry me?"

A collective gasp sounded in the hallway. A few students questioned Draco's sanity. Potter yelled, "What?" and Weasley marched right up to Malfoy, rolling up one sleeve of his robe as he did so.

"Now, see here, Malfoy-"

"Just wait, Ron," Granger stopped him with her books in his face. "Let him say what he wants to say."

Weasley muttered something unintelligible.

Granger looked back at Draco, who was feeling just the slightest bit sheepish. "Why should I marry you? Aren't you engaged to Pansy?"

No one questioned her statement. It was old news.

"Well, yes, I am," Draco said. "But that's not because I want to be. You're the one I really love."

"Do you really love me, Malfoy?"

"Of course I do. I love you more than anything in the whole world!"

Weasley's face turned scarlet.

"And how do I know this isn't another prank of yours?"

"You have my word that I would never, ever hurt you again." All sheepishness was gone with the last bits of Pansy Parkinson's sanity. "Hermione, if it would make you happy, I would send you roses every day. I'd go to the ends of the earth just to make you smile!"

"What about a ring?" she asked, a few laughs escaping her despite herself.

"I'll get one! The most beautiful ring money can buy."

"What about snogging other people in public?"

"A bout of temporary insanity, I assure you. It'll never happen again."

Granger grinned down at him. "Then there's nothing I can really argue with. All right, Draco Malfoy, I'll marry you."

Weasley fell backward in a dead faint. Potter caught him with some difficulty, and took up protest where Weasley left off. "Hermione, you can't do this. This is Malfoy we're talking about here!"

"It's all right, Harry," Granger said. "Draco's going to get me a ring and everything."

Draco almost felt sorry for Granger's friends. Apparently, she didn't bother to warn them of what was going to happen.

"He's going to walk me to class, as well. Make sure Ron's okay for me, Harry!" Granger dragged Draco off to Arithmancy, leaving Potter holding Weasley with a bewildered look on his face.

~~~

Arithmancy consisted of a surprise quiz, several notes passed to Draco asking about his behavior today, which he did not answer, and one or two combination sarcastic-smile-and-wave moves from Granger, which Draco was obliged to return.

By the end of class, just about everyone in the school knew about what he'd done. Most of the girls looked at him with downright contempt as he passed them in the hall. Thankfully, Granger had already gone off somewhere. Draco preferred her not to be around to torture her, anyway.

He was abruptly pulled by the back of his collar into an empty classroom. "What the-" Draco started, but then saw that it was Potter who yanked him, and was now giving him a glare that would have made nearly everyone who wasn't a Malfoy shrink away in fear.

"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" demanded Potter. He was holding his wand in one hand, Draco noticed- did he plan to hex him?

"Put your wand away, Potter." When Potter didn't comply, he said, "I didn't do anything that Granger didn't agree to. Now, put that away."

He finally did so, slowly and insolently.

"Thank you, scar-head."

Potter obviously wasn't one for niceties, because he only glared harder. Draco ignored it.

"Where's your lackey, Weasley?"

"He's in the Hospital Wing. He fainted because of that stunt you pulled. And he's not my lackey."

"Granger helped, now, don't forget that."

"Why? Why would she? You threatened her, didn't you? I swear, if you did-"

"Take it easy Potter!" Draco threw up his hands. "She was doing me a favor."

"A favor?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"What did you do so that she owed you a favor?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss it." Draco wiggled hid eyebrows at Potter and sashayed out of the room, leaving the remaining boy speechless. Oh, the satisfaction of tormenting others.

~~~

Draco's House ignored him for the rest of the day. He eventually got sick of it and made an announcement in the Slytherin common room that evening. He didn't have to call them to attention or anything; they all looked at him already with a sort of collective glare.

"I would like to announce," Draco said, "That my actions today, however unforgivable, were the result of an ingredient accidentally added to a potion Neville Longbottom and I were working on. Maim him as you wish."

Several Slytherins slipped from the room. Satisfied, Draco went into the girls' dormitories to look for Blaise. He found her in her and Pansy's room.

"Out, Pansy," he said.

"No," Pansy nearly shrieked. "If you think for one minute that I'm going to put up with this kind of crap from you once we're married, and then listen to you try to boss me around-"

"I'm not marrying you. I'm marrying Blaise."

Pansy turned a frightening shade of white that clashed with her bright blue makeup.

"Now, out," Draco said again. "Out, or I'll commit further acts of insanity which may involve even more marriage proposals."

She scowled at him and stomped out of the room. Then Blaise turned around from her desk and said, as if she hadn't heard anything at all, 'I've finished the letter, darling."

"Good. Send it. I don't care what it says."

"But-"

"I've suffered so much humiliation today that I'm quite past the point of caring. Just make sure it gets sent tonight, please."

Blaise shrugged, grabbed her cloak, and headed for the Owlry. "I think you've scarred poor Pansy for life."

"Damn, I hope so."

~~~

The flurry of owls around Draco the next morning was even more blinding than ever. Draco took all the letters and tied all the Howlers to the owl that he assumed belonged to Justin Finch-Fletchley (Fletchley had sent him a Howler, as well), and dug through the remaining letters for word from his father. He found it and read it excitedly.

"Dear Draco,

"Your mother and I have received the letter from Miss Zambini about your engagement to her. However, we have also received a surprising announcement from Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson.

"They say that, based on the information from their daughter, they have decided that they have no desire to make a young man with such disturbing conduct such as yours a permanent member of their family. We will discuss the meaning of this in person the next time you return home.

"Your father,

"Lucius Malfoy"

Draco folded the letter carefully and put it in his pocket. He would not jump and shout for joy. Malfoys did not jump and shout for anything.

He looked over at the Gryffindor table. He'd sent Granger another present, just to see how Weasley would take it.

She picked up the tiny package dropped by the owl, stared back at Draco for a split second, and broke out into a huge smile. Her teeth really weren't as bad as they used to be. Granger tore open the package and revealed the engagement ring inside. It wasn't exactly the best money could buy -just a hundred Galleons or so- but she seemed very pleased with it nonetheless. Everyone around her goggled, and Weasley fainted again.

Then, Granger suddenly jumped up and declared, "I have here a very expensive engagement ring given to me by a Mr. Draco Malfoy. We'll start the bidding at five Knuts."

Several girls (and some boys) leapt from their seats and shouted prices at her. Potter's head hit the table from laughing so hard. Granger ended up selling the ring for only seven Sickles to some Ravenclaw girl, although she'd gotten several offers much more generous.

Blaise glanced over at Draco. "Why don't I get an engagement ring?" she asked.

"Because you didn't ask for one." Draco replied.

"Well, I am your fiancé. I think I deserve one."

"No, you don't, because I'm not marrying you."

"Are you marrying Granger?"

"I'm not marrying anyone." Draco smirked and flashed the letter from his father. "No one. Worship me. Just worship me. Then I might think about it." With that, he blissfully went back to his stack of love letters.

~Fin~