101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse, or Generally Scare LV

Voldemort has the best wizards and witches working for him. They are top gun. These Death Eaters are not to be messed with. His best Death Eaters are not Lucius Malfoy or Bellatrix Lestrange. No, the best Death Eaters are three young sisters named Aimee, Erin, and Jade Malfoy.

They are Draco Malfoy's cousins. They are still in school as a matter of fact. Aimee is the oldest; she's going to be a seventh year. Erin is in the same class as Draco and is going to be a sixth year. Little Jade is going to be a fifth year. All of them are very clever and sly. Aimee is the best at Defense Against the Dark Arts. Nobody could beat Erin at Transfiguration. Jade was excellent at Potions. Of course they all excelled at every subject. If you talk personalities, Jade was the crazy one, Erin was the smartass, Aimee was sirius.

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Voldemort lay comfortably on his bed at the Malfoy Manor. He was sleeping the best he ever had since the "incident" at the Ministry of Magic. Suddenly he jerked out of bed as somebody started singing a Beach Boys song in his ear really loud.

"ROUND, ROUND, GET AROUND, I GET AROUND!"

"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" he yelled. This was not going to be a good day.

The person who had been singing in his ear was none other than Erin Malfoy. He'd love to crucio her right now, but she's too good. He needed her, but she's pure evil. Besides she had already Apparated out of the room.

The Dark Lord got up to go get dressed and passed the mirror. "Damn!" he swore. Someone had magic-markered glasses on him while he slept. They were Potter-style. "Damn!' he swore again. "I bet it was Jade. I hate those girls! (Even though they are incredibly attractive *wink wink *)" Voldemort said.

"Sure those girls are smart and really good Death Eaters but they are all really annoying! I'd give anything to kill them. Maybe I use a killing potion. Nah, that wouldn't work, I'll have to give them a *gift*. He he, maybe an exploding gift will work." Voldemort thought to himself.

As You-Know-Who walked down the corridor to breakfast, Aimee came up to him and gave him a violet hat with pink lining. It is the ugliest thing in the world.

"I knit it myself!" exclaimed Aimee as she shoved the hat on his head and acted as if she had just given him a great treat. "I even put holes in them for your kangaroo ears. Sorry about those ears, they should be gone in about three weeks. After all they're only made to last for a month and you have to wear the hat all the time, ok? You better! Well I should be getting to breakfast," Aimee finished as she smiled and Disapparated to the dining room.

Voldemort scowled but kept on going. He kicked a suit of armor. "This is going to be a very bad day......"

When Voldemort walked into the dining room the only others there were Aimee, Erin, Jade and some stupid house elves.

Erin greeted him. "My sir, you look particularly menacing today."

Voldemort just scowled and sat down to eat.

"Now, the-man-who-let-the-boy-live, why don't you have such a cool scar? Teen Witch Weekly says that Harry Potter's scar is one thing that makes him so manly," asked Aimee, with a hint of love in her voice. But of course not really because she the sirius one and always joked around like that.

"What's your real name by the way?" asked Jade.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle," he replied.

"Marvolo? What's that, a washing detergent?" asked Jade with one eyebrow raised.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question. Now why don't you have such a cool scar?" repeated Aimee.

"Because," growled He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

"Because why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"BECAUSE!"

"Because why?"

"Just BECAUSE!"

"Phew! What smells in here? When was the last time you took a bath, Voldemort?" asked Jade.

Voldemort was red in the face. Not from embarrassment but from anger. The tapestry on the wall burst into flame.

"Awwwwwww, look, Voldie's got a twiggle," exclaimed Erin!

He turned to Jade who was laughing at him. "Do you want to say something to me or should I make you?" he asked with his eyes narrowed.

"Oh come on now! Let's all go watch owls! It'll be fun," said Jade cheerfully!

"Yeah! Or hey, check it out, everybody dance," said Erin as she started to do the Funky Chicken.

"Or at least laugh," said Aimee as she pinched Voldemort's leg.

"Ahhhh!" squealed Voldemort very girly.

"Oh you have such a strong voice you should play the mouth organ," said Jade as she summoned one to her. "Come on it is really easy. You hold it like this..." Jade went on and on and one until....

Voldemort stormed out of the room to go plan the Death Eaters meeting.

"This is going to be a very, very long day," he thought to himself. "Damit."

Voldemort was ready for the next meeting after a long morning and a productive afternoon of looking at wizard porn which he quickly hid whenever someone came in. "Doesn't anyone knock these days?" he murmured to himself. After all he couldn't have anyone know about that.

They hadn't had a meeting since the "incident", and now it was time to break the other Death Eaters out of Azkaban. Voldemort knew Erin could plan something if he couldn't come up with something. "If she would take him seriously for once and not siriusly," he muttered to himself.

Lucius winced as Voldemort touched his cool tattoo to call the meeting.

"Cheap skank," Voldemort said to himself.

Erin and Aimee walked up to Voldemort as soon as they got there. They put some flowers in his arms and Aimee patted him on the head.

Aimee said, "It's ok that you didn't win against Harry Pot-head, you just got to try harder. You are taking it very well. You get a gold star for today. I'll mark it after the meeting."

As they walked away Voldemort thought to himself, "Why do I keep them around? Probably because they know where to find a good condom charm bracelet, you know, just in case."

Voldemort started talking. "My loyal Death Eaters, it is time to get the others. They have been in there- Yes Jade, what in the world is so damn important!"

Jade had been hoping up and down trying to talk. "Well I think that in addition to getting our old members back we should try to get more members. We could get some more if only we could make the Dark Mark look more socially acceptable," Jade finished.

Voldemort snarled and said, "I designed the Dark Mark when I was seventeen, it stays!"

"Ok then, but it probably would have worked!" Jade said.

"Now, Aimee! Stop chewing that stupid gum and stop blowing bubbles," yelled Voldemort!

Aimee kept on blowing really big bubbles.

"I said STOP!" he yelled again.

Aimee blew another big bubble.

"STOP YOU MORON!!" screamed Voldemort as the bubble burst all over him. He was disgusted. "Now we must break my Death eaters out. It will be easy all we have to do is storm the place, nobody can take us on," said Voldemort as he cleaned the bubblegum off himself. It was very sticky and stringy.

Jade mumbled, "It's your funeral," as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh please! I've meet chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than you," remarked Erin loudly.

"So you think you can do better? Go on," growled Voldemort.

"Of course I can do better, I taught you ever thing you know, you know," said Erin as she nudged the Death Eater next to her, smiling widely. "Anyway, it's easy; somebody goes to Azkaban to 'visit' and lights a fire, then we do some untraceable Floo-ing over there. We also take some Muggles and transfigure them to stay there in the prisoners place so nobody knows they're gone," finished Erin.

"Do you think that could work?" asked Mr. Goyle.

"Are you kidding me? It'll be like taking candy from a baby, of course, SOME of us might find that harder then others," said Erin staring pointedly at Voldemort.

"Oh forget it! Everybody, just leave, I'm going to bed," said Voldemort as he stomped off.

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That evening Voldemort was very stressed out. "Those damn girls! If only they'd give me some respect!" he said to himself. He heard a knock at the door and went to get. Voldemort opened the door and nobody was there. "Odd," he thought, as he closed the door but just as he closed the door, somebody knocked again. Voldemort opened it again. There was still nobody in sight. This was getting annoying. He closed the door and made for his bed. The person knocked again. Voldemort thinking quickly Apparated outside his door and find Erin Malfoy laughing quietly.

"You! I should have known," yelled Voldemort as Erin Apparated away.

I really hate this. Voldemort went back inside his room and lay back down. Suddenly he heard somebody Apparating into his room; but just as quickly as they came they Disapparated. They Apparated into the room again this time he saw that it was Aimee. Damn. This was going to be a long night. Voldemort just sighed, rubbed his temples and tried to relax. It was going to be a very long night..........

To Be Continued.........In Chapter Two (Isn't it ironic that chapter two comes after chapter one? : )