- Rating:
- PG
- House:
- The Dark Arts
- Genres:
- Drama Romance
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
- Stats:
-
Published: 09/09/2004Updated: 10/13/2004Words: 25,921Chapters: 6Hits: 1,827
Discoveries
Elsha
- Story Summary:
- Returning for another year at Hogwarts, Theodore and Anne discover that some things are changing - and others are almost the same.
Chapter 06
- Chapter Summary:
- In which there are endings, and beginnings.
- Posted:
- 10/13/2004
- Hits:
- 185
Chapter Six: Beginning
Theo made sure he wrote to his father (through his aunt and uncle) once a week now. The conversation with his father on New Year's Day had frightened him badly. They believed him. It didn't even cross their minds that he could be lying. Writing helped, somehow. If he told them about all the little inconsequential things that happened - the Quidditch, the jokes, the gossip, the work - then the big lies were lessened.
"You know the worst thing?" he said to Anne one Saturday in late January. "I'm not lying, mostly. I don't even have to tell the really big lies because Dad would never wonder about them. I hate it. I hate it."
"What happened in the holidays?" Anne asked. Straight to the point.
"My father was there." Anne had dragged the chair close to the piano stool, and was sitting with her ankles crossed under it, fiddling idly with her hair. It was...distracting.
"Weren't you glad to see him?"
"Of course I was!" Theo protested. "I mean, yes, it was great to see him, but I had to lie. Not just pretend. I looked him in the eye and told him I knew he was doing the right thing." He laughed, but it came out as almost a sob. "Terry asked me if he'd killed your neighbours, remember? I said I didn't know, but he was there. I know what he does. But I look at him across the breakfast table and it's Dad. My father. I can't..." he trailed off helplessly. "I can't make those pictures fit together. But I know they do and it's - that's wrong. And all I can do is lie to him and tell him he's right." Theo closed his eyes. "How can he do that? How can he be both of those people?"
"Move over." He opened his eyes to find Anne gesturing at him. He shuffled in the indicated direction, and she sat down firmly beside him on the stool, tucking a soothing arm around his shoulders. "I don't have any answers to that, Theo, but what else are you supposed to do?"
Even through heavy winter robes, Anne pressed up against him was very distracting, but Theo was upset enough not to notice.
Very much, anyway.
"I don't know." He slipped an arm around her waist, and couldn't help feeling satisfied when she accepted the gesture. "I don't know. Maybe I'm selfish, doing this. Maybe I should just make a clean breast of it now. Maybe it's only going to make it harder, next year, or...whenever I have to tell them the truth."
"It is sort of selfish." Anne countermanded the insult by leaning her head on his shoulder. "You can't pretend they aren't going to be hurt. But...what happens if you tell them now, Theo? This is a war. What happens if you stand up and say you're on the other side?"
The thought that haunted Theo's dreams and darkened these hours spent talking to Anne. Discovery. It was only a second, a wrong glance, a careless sentence away.
"I'm dealt with," he said coolly, staring down at the floor. "My parents wouldn't hurt me, but...other people would see me as a threat. I know too much, I see too much. It'd be the same as if they discovered a spy, now. I'm too old to be overlooked."
"Exactly." Anne's arm tightened around him. "So I suppose...you can't do anything else. I wish I could make it easier."
"You started it." Theo glanced across at Anne's shining fair head, nestled on his shoulder. This was oddly comfortable. It was true, the piano stool wasn't very wide and this room had an annoying draft at ankle level but he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could.
Anne looked up at him. "I started it? You came and found me, that first day. Your choice, Theo, not mine."
"If you'd been anyone else, I wouldn't have come and found you," he retorted easily.
"How nice." Anne's smile was...impish, almost. Theo replayed that last comment in his head.
No, you aren't distracted at all, are you? Even with Anne sitting this close to you and her face about three inches from yours...
"I think maybe -" Theo began.
The door creaked.
Anne was up and back onto her chair so fast that Theo barely had time to realise it before Terry bounded into the room.
"Hi. Anne, are you busy? It's just that I'm trying to write this essay and I can't find a book I need and I thought you could help me."
Anne's composure was remarkable. Only the slightest of blushes gave her away.
"I am a little busy, as a matter of fact, but I'll...well..."
Theo motioned discreetly towards the door. Terry had cheerfully destroyed any chance of...things. Today, anyway.
I am going to kill her. I am going to throw her in that bloody swamp of hers and walk away. I am going to tie her up and leave her to the Thestrals.
"It's all right, it is getting quite late," he said, standing up. "Besides, I couldn't possibly deprive your helpless sister of your aid, now could I?"
"I'm not helpless," Terry scowled.
"Oh. All right." Anne's voice was tinged with disappointment. Theo grasped frantically for something to say.
"But I think we should definitely, uh, continue our, uh, conversation next Saturday," he said, torn between horror and hope.
"Yes. Good idea. Yes. I'll see you at, um, at the DA meeting on Thursday," Anne stumbled. She snatched up her flute and folder. "Come on, Terry, let's go."
"Great!" Terry was out the door again in a flash. Theo was glad. She had been giving some entirely too penetrating looks. He remembered the Christmas card.
Acting on instinct, he took a couple of quick strides across the room to catch Anne by the elbow just before she walked out the door.
"And, er, thanks. For...earlier. You know. Listening," he managed.
"Anytime." Anne bit her lip, then smiled brilliantly. "See you."
"Yeah." Theo let her go. Then he turned back into the room. He still had to plot painful ways to kill Terry.
Dammit!
***
Anne thought, later on, that she quite startled Terry. The back corners of the library were perfect for guarded conversations, but even at her most annoyed Anne couldn't remember grabbing Terry's arm tightly and fixing her with an icy glare. Part of her was still feeling giddy, but the other was extremely vexed.
"Now. Terry. I have just one thing to say to you. Learn. To. Knock."
Terry wriggled. "Anne, let go."
"Do you understand me?"
"Yes, yes, let go!"
Anne did let go of her younger sister, and stood back a step. Terry eyed her sullenly, rubbing her arm.
"All you had to do was say you were busy."
"It doesn't quite work like that." In the back of her mind, Anne was uncertain of what would have happened if they had sent Terry on her way - but sure that her arrival had shattered the comfortable atmosphere.
"I told him I didn't mind if he did like you," Terry ventured.
"What?" Anne nearly shrieked. Several closer students looked around at them. She pulled her sister further into the depths of the stacks - the last thing she needed right now was anyone overhearing them.
"I sent him a Christmas card, and I said that I didn't mind if he asked you out and I thought you'd say yes." Terry frowned. "You do like him, don't you?"
"Yes - no - that is - Terry, you are the most - arrgh!" Anne threw up her hands in despair. "Look. Just...if you want to come and find me, not then, okay? It's not that I don't want to see you, but I barely see The - see him as it is."
No names, not here.
"Okay," Terry nodded. "You just had to say. I don't want to see you guys kissing anyway. That'd be...ew." She made a face.
Anne could feel herself blushing, but she was too fed up to care. "Terry, just quit while you're ahead."
"Sorry. Can we find that book now?"
"Yes, all right!" Anne stalked ahead into the Charms section. Terry was attempting meekness, but it didn't sit easily on her. Anne had a horrible suspicion she was really trying not to giggle.
Damn Terry. If she turns up next week I am going to kill her.
I might just kill her anyway. I'm sure Theo would be glad to help.
He is really quite cute, now I think about it.
Anne let out a frustrated hiss. Damn Theo, too, for being so...so...everything. The DA meeting this week was going to be hell.
Ahead of her, Terry giggled.
***
Theo pondered luck as he made his way down the east wing corridor towards the Great Hall and lunch. He'd stayed back in Ancient Runes to ask Professor Wykeham about their last translation, so the corridors were nearly deserted.
Luck was so...changeable. Take, for example, the luck that had led Terry to come looking for Anne on Saturday. That had been more than irritating. He was still trying to come up with a suitable method of execution. Judging by a stray comment of Anne's at the DA meeting, so was she. That had been an exercise in frustration, with Anne not a metre away and thirty other people in the room. Not to mention the smirks and giggles. Zachariah Smith had made some snide remark about Slytherins staying away from people who were too good for them - like nice Hufflepuffs - and Theo had narrowly prevented himself from punching him. Knowing that the other Hufflepuffs had given Smith a quiet talking-to later on in the evening hadn't helped anything. He didn't want their interference, or, worse, their approval.
A string of childish curses in the near distance interrupted his train of thought. Theo didn't hurry. If someone was saying, "Damn, damn, damn!" it was unlikely they were in mortal peril.
"Bloody hell! Help! Someone! Anyone! Really anyone!"
He rounded the corner a little faster, and revised his opinion as soon as he had. Terry Fairleigh was neck-deep in the patch of swamp left by Fred and George Weasley, trying to grab at the rope surrounding it and the smooth flagstones of the corridor floor. She wasn't having much luck. Theo didn't realise he'd broken into a run until he was dropping to his knees and grabbing her arm.
"Theodore!" Her face lit up. She latched on to his sleeve, and he felt himself sliding towards her.
"No, don't pull!" he snapped, feeling for his wand. This was ridiculous. This was bloody ridiculous. Anne's little sister was drowning in a Hogwarts corridor. In a swamp left by her fellow Gryffindors, no less. Anne was going to kill him if he let anything happen to Terry. He was going to kill Terry, after this, but he had to get her out first.
He kept up a steady pull, enough to stop her sinking any further, while he tried to decide what to do. Accio would be too hard, with an eleven-year-old who might be short but would weigh a good deal more than the books or quills he normally used the spell for. There had to be something -
"Hurry up!" There was an edge of fear to Terry's voice.
"Mobilicorpus!" he finally said, concentrating as hard as he could on the idea of Terry coming out of the swamp. She did, eventually, with an awful sucking sound as it let her go and she slid onto the stone floor. She lay there, gasping, and Theo sank down too, pushing his hair back from his face. He eyed the small Gryffindor girl with astonishment. What was he doing?
Terry levered herself up to a sitting position. From the neck down, she was coated with stinking mud. Looking up at Theo, she smiled awkwardly.
"Thanks."
"Anytime," Theo replied laconically.
Terry snorted. "I'm not doing this again!"
"I should hope not," Theo retorted, his mood shifting to anger. "What on earth were you thinking? You could have been killed! Of all the stupid, reckless, Gryffindor things to do - "
"I didn't do it on purpose!" she snapped back. "It was one of you Slytherins that pushed me! I'm not stupid, even if you seem to think so!"
Theo regarded her for a moment. Terry was different in nearly every aspect of personality from her older sister, but that indignant gaze - brown instead of blue - was the same.
"I don't think you're stupid," he replied levelly. "I do think you have an unholy fascination with this swamp, and if you ever, ever, get too close to it again, I will make you wish you'd drowned in it this time. Is that clear?"
Terry shifted uncertainly. "Yeah. Yeah, I know, I was too close, but I just wanted to get one of those flowers so I could find out what kind they were, and then that Mal- Mel- that blond boy in Slytherin tripped me and I fell in."
"Didn't anyone come to help you?" asked Theo, appalled. He had idly daydreamed about doing something of the sort, after Saturday, but he hadn't meant it.
"They'd all gone to lunch, and he and those two big boys with him just walked away." Terry shrugged.
"Why that flower?"
"I was just curious. Swamps aren't supposed to be inside." Terry gave the plant - a small, unprepossessing white bloom - a regretful look.
Theo sighed. "Do you still have your wand?"
She pulled it out of one mud-filled pocket. "Here. I couldn't reach it because it was under the mud, and then..." she trailed off. Theo noticed how pale she was, and clambered to his feet. He offered her a hand, and she accepted, hauling herself up.
"Now," he began "you are going to go to the Hospital Wing. You are not going to fall afoul of any more incongruous geographical features along the way." Terry giggled. "You are going to take this-" he Summoned one of the flowers with a wave of his wand "--and when lessons have finished you can go to the library and find out what it is. And in the future, you are going to leave near-death incidents to more senior members of your House who have the requisite experience in such matters." He handed her the flower. "Now scoot."
Terry frowned up at him. "You sound like Anne."
He eyed her warningly, and she rolled her eyes. "I'm going, I'm going!"
Theo watched her go. A few steps down the corridor, she turned to call back over her shoulder "If I did get in trouble again, you or Anne or my friends could help me!"
"Don't count on it," Theo muttered to himself, but to Terry he just raised an eyebrow, and then headed for lunch.
***
In any event, it was Sunday before Anne saw Theo again. Saturday had proven impossible, as she'd been dragged off despite all her protests to the Slytherin/Hufflepuff Quidditch match. She'd caught a glimpse of Theo on the way there, and his expression suggested a strong desire to kick something. Her feelings had been much the same.
On the Sunday, they snuck out to the willows on the other side of the lake. It had been Anne's suggestion; it was a chilly February day, and there was snow on the ground, but as she pointed out to Theo "all this magic has to be good for something." It also helped distract from last week's...conversation. The one they had planned to continue. Anne had not had the faintest idea how to start.
The willows were leafless, but the long branches hid them from casual view. Theo began a furious snow fight by dropping some down the neck of Anne's robes which continued until they both collapsed, laughing, and Anne conjured a bluebell-tinted flame to keep them warm.
It was cold, Anne thought, as they sat facing the castle, backs against a tree. She remembered doing this on another cold day nearly a year ago.
"Brrr. It gets so cold in Scotland." She snuggled closer to Theo, who was nice and warm. He responded obligingly by wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The cold air was nearly enough to hide the electric charge of contact. Maybe starting wouldn't be so hard.
Theo, bred on the Yorkshire moors and obnoxiously impervious to the cold, smirked.
"This was your idea, little Hufflepuff."
"Did I hear any objections? Well?"
"I must have been distracted," he grumbled.
"By what?" Anne asked, laughing.
"Oh, things." Theo was looking down at her, now, and the cold was fading. "I suppose your sister told you about falling into the swamp."
"In great detail. You've earned your way into her good books, you know that?" She fiddled idly with the tassels on his green-and-silver scarf. She didn't want to talk about Terry right now. She didn't want to talk, period. Scratch conversation. She wanted...
"It seems like it could be more trouble than being in her bad ones," Theo murmured. His other hand had stolen around to pick up hers, and that was distracting.
"She keeps us all on our toes," Anne agreed, but her thoughts were very far away now, dancing around things like the fact that Theo's eyes were so dark a brown as to seem black at times, and the urge she was having to play with the strands of hair that brushed the top of his scarf.
"But then, being in yours isn't easy either," Theo told her gravely.
"And why is that?" Anne asked. Her heartbeat was sounding loudly in the quiet and the chill.
"Because I keep getting the urge to do things that...might not be smart." His hand drifted up to her cheek, and the one around her shoulders was playing with her hair.
Anne barely nodded, afraid to move. "I know...I know exactly what you mean." It must be the cold, she thought fuzzily, this wouldn't have happened if we'd stayed inside where we know the rules but then she leaned forward enough for Theo to touch his lips to hers, and thought became just too difficult.
Part of her was remembering what Theo said - might not be smart - but the part of her brain in charge was wrapping both arms around Theo, and paying no attention to anything outside the two of them. Then they had to stop, just to breathe, and Anne was looking right into his dark brown eyes and both of them were grinning fit to burst, and if someone had told her it was cold she would have laughed at them.
A few minutes later - Anne wasn't sure - she was sitting with her head leant comfortably against Theo's shoulder, arms still wrapped around each other. The blue fire had almost died, now - the charm didn't last long - but Theo was quite warm enough. She felt him turn to rest his chin on the top of her head, tucking him against her. The charged feeling in the air of the last few months was still there, but it had ceased to be a barrier.
"I'd ask you to come with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend," Theo began uncertainly, "but I'm afraid people might be a bit surprised."
"I'd go, just for the looks on their faces," Anne replied, "but I've got a better idea."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes," she said, shifting her head so she could glimpse the castle. "How about you meet me in one of those practice rooms on the fourth floor instead? Say, about two o'clock that Saturday? The one with the piano?"
Anne could sense Theo's smile. "It's a date."
Hmmm...remind me to tell Terry I won't be there...telling her to not show up wouldn't work. But I do not want her anywhere near there. Not after last week.
She pulled back so she could look him in the eye. "I'd go to Hogsmeade with you if this stupid war wasn't on, you know," she said seriously.
" I'd have asked you before this, if it wasn't," Theo replied, surprising her.
"Did you think about it?"
"Did you?" He tilted his head slightly, regarding her.
"Just a bit." She smiled again, remembering all those conversations dancing around the point.
"Thought so." Theo sighed, and looked out towards the castle. "We need to get back."
"I know." He helped her to her feet - always the gentleman - and she reached up to brush a brief kiss across his lips. "We're going to make this work, Theo." It was a promise as much as question. I need this friendsh- relationship, Anne, don't beat around the bush! too much to let it not work.
"We've been doing that for long enough," Theo replied. And it was true.
***
Theo pushed open the door to what he now thought of as his and Anne's practice room. It was a Thursday evening, and she would not be there, but he just wanted to play. They did a lot less of that, now. He felt the silky flicker of the wards that kept sound in as he walked in the door. As soon as he'd passed them, he could hear the sound of someone picking out a tune on the piano. Stepping into the room revealed the unseen player to be Terry Fairleigh. He stopped, startled.
She turned around as he came in, her expression curious.
"Oh, hi, Theo. D'you want to use the piano?"
Theo nodded. "If you don't mind, I could come back later --"
He realised he meant it, too. That was strange, meaningless niceties taking on life for Terry of all people.
Terry pushed back the piano stool and rose. "Nah, I was just having a go. I don't know how to play properly." She wrinkled her nose. "I play the 'cello really but I couldn't bring it here. Too big. I didn't mind 'cause Mum always had to make me practice, but I've been missing it a bit." A half-grin crept across her face. "Did you kiss my sister?"
Theo, for the hundredth time, contemplated the infinite possibilities of murder.
"Do you know why so many Gryffindors get into trouble?"
"Professor McGonagall said it was because we've all got the curiosity of cats, the courage of lions, and the common sense of budgies." Terry giggled. "Does that mean yes? 'Cause I saw her on Sunday and she didn't pay attention to anything I said, she kept staring out the window and smiling."
Theo liked the smile Terry was probably talking about. He'd liked it a lot on Saturday when it had been directed at him. He fixed Terry with a glare.
"As you have previously indicated you are not averse to this turn of events, I strongly suggest you cease to discuss it."
"Did you know you use more big words when you get angry? Okay, I know, you think I'm annoying, I'm going now, bye!" His expression must have been more intimidating than he'd thought, because she headed for the door. Theo almost felt guilty.
Almost.
"You know, about a 'cello, I think -" Theo began just as Terry was about to leave, then paused.
If I keep letting my tongue run away with me like this, I'll last two minutes into the summer holidays!
Terry's head whipped around, her face lit up. "Do you know where I can find one?"
Theo remembered the dusty storeroom he'd seen once. "Maybe. Just along the corridor."
"Could you show me?" Terry was almost jumping up and down. Theo remembered finding this room and its piano, in his first year. The curt suggestion she find it herself died on his lips.
Something must have shown in his face, though, because she looked up at him appealingly and said, "Please? It won't take long."
Theo quirked an eyebrow. "Does that puppy-dog look really work on people?"
"Sometimes." She grinned.
Theo envisioned the dust, and the mess. The involved process of finding a working 'cello and tuning it and the inevitable "quick" demonstration --
"All right, then."
" Ooh, thanks!" Terry said before shooting out into the corridor ahead of him. The possibility of discovery crossed Theo's mind, but he hadn't seen anyone else on his way here. He followed her out.
"This way," he told her, glancing up and down the deserted passage, and headed left for the battered wooden door of the instrument room. It took a couple of good thumps before it would open, and the interior was every bit as dark and dusty as he remembered. Terry blew past him, raising clouds of dust. She stopped and groped at the wall beside the door, looking for what, Theo didn't know.
"Lumos." He lifted his wand to illuminate the cluttered space. An old upright piano, the top missing, loomed out at him. Bagpipes lay slumped on the shelves that covered two walls.
"Oops, I forgot," a voice said guiltily behind him. "Lumos."
"Forgot what?" he asked, straining his eyes to see anything resembling a 'cello.
"No lights," Terry explained, coming forward. "Proper ones, anyway. There they are!"
No lights? Must be some Muggle thing. I'll have to ask Anne. Anne...
Get a grip on yourself, Nott!
Terry fell to her knees beside a cloth-covered lump that resolved, as she hauled the covering off, into a 'cello. The dust made Theo cough.
"Can you help me carry it?" she asked appealingly.
Theo stole a quick glance at the door to freedom, and then looked back at Terry. She was bratty, and noisy...and still.
...they believe in you, so you end up doing things just so they won't stop believing...
Shaking his head, he knelt to help her.
Theo was late to dinner, that night. Anne found him and Terry covered with dust from head to toe, laboriously tuning an instrument that didn't seem to have been used for half a century at least. She laughed and told Theo to hold still while she brushed the dust out of his hair. He grinned at her, and ruffled her fair bob just for the look on her face. The room felt right when Anne was in it. He realised, with a start, that earlier that evening had been the first time he'd been in the practice room without Anne for months. Terry jumped up, announcing that it was time for dinner and she'd be late. She banged out of the room, and Anne followed, trying to get her to tidy up first. She shot Theo back an amused glance and a blown kiss before she went. The room was silent again.
Theo thought about this room with no one else in it, and music to fill the silence. He thought about a chair in the Slytherin Common Room tilted just slightly away from everyone, and words that could never be spoken, not there. As he exited he heard Terry protesting, a little way down the corridor, and Anne's chuckle. The silence had been gone for a long time, now. Longer than he'd realised.
He didn't miss it.