Draco's Diary

Draco's Diary

Dear Di..Journal...thingy...,

Well, I've had yet another unsuccessful day in McGonogall's class. I told her to go pop a midol, and she got all "daddy" on me. And I was just trying to be NICE!!!

I heard I'm-so-intelligent-NOT Granger talking today, which got me to thinking about how much I hate muggles. Trelawney gave us an arse-load of homework, but I'm going to NOT do it and make this list.

STUFF THAT I HATE ABOUT FILTHY, DISGUSTING, VILE, PEURILE, FUNGUS-EATING SKREWT-ATTRACTING MUGGLES.

4: BACK TO THE MUSIC: Everywhere I went, people were calling me "Slim Shady" or "Marshall Mathers". It was very annoying. It got even worse when I flipped this guy the bird. Daddy just smacked me over the head with his cane.

Sometimes I think my daddy doesn't love me....

Ah well, least I've got mummy!

Later,

Me

Some time in December

Hell, what do I care what day it is so long as I get to hex things?

Dearest Journal,

(finally, this school year gets a plot)

Well, nothing out of the ordinary today. That is, if you consider being rich, powerful, sexy, AND finding Parkinson going through my undergarments drawers ordinary, WHICH might I add IS ordinary. Bet the only person who goes through Potty's man-panties drawer is Weasel. Revolting.

Let's see, ah yes. So this new girl shows up at the beginning of the year, right? Yeah, she walks in, yet another one of the Durmstrang transfer students with a nails-on-a-chalkboard accent and way too much eyeliner. So, we're in Potions today (Weasel cut my roots all funny again. So Good Ol' Snapey fell for my 'I-fell-in-the-hall-it's-all-Potter's-fault scam, hehe!), and she actually has the NERVE to make fun of my hair. Here's a sample of what happened.

Me: What're you staring at?

HER: Your hair.

Me: What about it?

ThatlittleWENCH: You look like that muggle wrap star... vat's his name, "Slim Shady?"

Me: What the hell is wrap?

Thatstupidlittle%^$%^#$!!!!: I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shady's are just imatating so von't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up...

Me: SHUT UP!

Snape: Malfoy, please keep your interjections to yourself and get to work.

I would like to add that her German accent is REALLY REALLY REALLY annoying...AND she knows about muggles and their filth-music. We get it. You transferred from Durmstrang, BFD! So what if you can knock me on my ass with some Dark Arts spell or that there's a rumor going around that you killed a kid with 'Avada Kedavra'?

-ten minutes later-

Sorry, but right after I wrote that Unforgivable Curse my bed burst into flame. No matter, la de da...

How she got into Slytherin is beyond me. She's obviously a teacher's pet for one thing. She could have been in Ravenclaw!

Or perhaps she would have done well in Gryffindor... always sitting by Granger, turning in her homework on time, yeah, that sort of thing.

Perhaps Hufflepuff would have even suited her. Just the other day she had her hair in braids and one of her mummy's sweaters. AND I saw her hanging around Finch-Fletchley. Finch-Fletchley. We Slytherins have names for a kid like that. We have officially dubbed him "Extreme Under-bite Kid." Hahahaha, extreme under-bite kid. I'm so clever.

I finally got some chains put on this thing, along with a pad-lock. And I bewitched it so that anyone who opens it automatically gets hit in the face with an acidic substance that causes large purple boils on, er, specific areas of the body.

Speaking of acidic substances,I'd better go "accidentally" spill something in the corridor for Filch to clean up. And mummy's finally send me Mr. Stuffy-kins. Parkinson found it the other day... so I told her it was Crabbe's.

Later,

Malfoy