The Doldrums

"Err, I'm sorry about Percy being a bugger," Harry stammered, unsure what to say about the Percy incident.

"Don't worry, mate. He always was and a complete bore to boot," Fred was quick to keep the group form getting uncomfortable.

"Never liked him much, now did we?" said George. "Mum's a wreck though."

"Isn't she always on about one thing or another? At least it's not us this time," Fred said as he keenly slid what looked to be a Puking Pastille into Ginny's unsuspecting pocket.

"He was never entertaining that one. Not without prompting, unlike our loveable Ronniekins or darling Ginny-poo here." George mussed up Ron's hair, much to his annoyance.

"He can't really be that bad," Hermione countered.

"Quick to jump to his defense, ma' dear," pointed out George.

"Too quick I say," Fred gave her a quick yet charming wink. "But, my dear brother, we really should have seen this one coming."

"How's that?" Ron snapped.

"Don't you know?" Ron's blank face was enough confirmation for Fred. "He was only a baby during Percy's gray spell, wasn't he?"

"Maybe two?" George supplied.

"What does that matter? What are you two getting at?" Ron was losing the little patience he had.

"Well, when you two were wee things," George mussed Ron's hair again, nodding to Ginny, and avoided Ron's swats at his head all at once, "Percy woke up one morning and wasn't a redhead anymore when, oh I'd say he was eight?"

"Oh yeah, I'd say that's about right." Fred scratched his head more for the mosquito bit that was over his left ear than anything else.

"Wasn't a redhead?" Harry was confused; how could you be a Weasley without the Hair? That is the shockingly brilliant red that was usually accompanied by freckles. He was pretty sure that if you married in and your hair wasn't naturally red it would magically change during the wedding.

"What color was it?" Ginny was eager to hear this piece of family gossip that somehow slipped by her.

"Well, that's just it. There was no color at all. Like on one of the Muggle tellie-visie things, the black and white ones," Fred said in a hushed voice as if Percy had been at his deathbed. The mysterious mood he had been trying to create was quickly ruined with his lack of Muggle knowledge and Hermione and Harry rolled their eyes at each other and sat back as the twins spun their story.

:::Flashback: 11 years earlier:::

Molly Weasley was in a hurry, but with six - no, now seven with Ginny - seven children, a woman could not afford, but to be in a hurry. It was a relatively low key moment of hurry presently. Molly was sure that whatever Ginny was chewing on at the moment was practically harmless and Ron was sleeping on the sofa in the living room. Fred and George, who were never peaceful, were off upstairs surely satisfying their five-year-old curiosity in one way or another and it was probably better for Molly's sanity not to know about it. Bill and Charlie were away at school and Percy, well, Percy couldn't cause trouble if he tried, which he wouldn't.

Molly turned on the Wizard Wireless just as the twins came screaming down the back staircase. "Shh! You two stop it right now! Ron is sleeping! Do you want to disturb the whole house?"

"Too late," yawned Percy as he followed the twins down the stairs. "What's for breakfast?"

"Merlin's Ghost!" Molly was thoroughly shocked by the sight of Percy.

"I don't think that would taste very nice with milk, mum," said a small George pulling at his mother's apron.

"She wasn't telling him to eat that, boogie-brain. Look at Percy."

"D - darling, are you all right?" Molly's voice was shaky as she rushed over to Percy.

"Yeah, I think so, why?" Percy said casually, shuffling over to the cupboard and grabbing a pack of cereal.

"You, you didn't have any horrible dreams last night or - or bad frights by chance. Did you?"

"Mum, your starting to worry me. Are you all right?" Percy's manor was that of a middle age adult muggle, utterly dull.

"Your hair is . . ." Molly grappled for words but found none and merely pointed weakly at his head. "It's..."

"...The color of a dead ant Every Flavor Bean?" Fred supplied.

Fred always was the more helpful of the two, thought Molly, or maybe that's George. I do need to learn to differentiate between the two. After all, they've been around five years... honestly, woman, call yourself a mother? She chided herself. However, there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Dead - what?!" Percy ran over to the mirror.

"Yes, definitely gray, definitely. The most drab hair I've ever seen," the speaking mirror confirmed. "What happened to the red, kid? If you dyed it, bad color choice and bad job at that. Missed the roots."

Just then the rest of the waking family looked at Percy's roots to see that they too were slowly changing to a dull gray color. Percy frantically held his head in his two hands and screamed. At this Ron woke up and decided that the most helpful thing to do was to join in on screaming.

"Oh, dear. Percy! Stop that! You just woke up Ron!" Molly was in a panic now looking at the clock to see that Arthur had arrived to work safely. When Percy stopped screaming, but Ron didn't, Ginny began to as well. Molly flicked her wand quickly to fill their mouths with cookies, drowning out the noise of the screams until the both became quite content.

"Mum," George resumed pulling on Molly's apron. "It's still spreading." He pointed at Percy whose forehead was slowly losing color as well.

"Off with his head!" Fred shouted.

"Off with his head!" George joined in and the twins chanted as the jumped around Percy who simply crossed his arms and tried to look superior to their immature antics, but was failing miserably as all the remaining color in his face flushed a brilliant red.

"Stop that you two. I need to think." Molly glanced at the clock to see that Arthur was now taking a nap. Then it shouldn't be a problem to yank him out of work for this. A glimpse back at Percy and she saw him wiggling his nose as the gray overtook it. "Where's Errol?" The speedy bird arrived immediately upon hearing his name ready for service. Molly jotted down a quick note and sent the owl on its way. "Hurry."

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Arthur wasn't really napping. One does not nap at work. One rests his eyes, takes mental break, or relaxes, but never naps on the job. Perkins had his feet up on his desk, also not taking a nap when Errol flew in creating quick disorder in the midst of their sleepy office, or rather closet. Papers scattered everywhere as Errol found a landing spot on Arthur's desk.

Percy's turning gray.

Hurry home.

NOW is preferable.

Arthur, completely bemused, read the note once more, sure that he had somehow misread Molly's anxious script, which was fraught with anxiety. "Perkins, I have family business. Is it all right if I skip out for a few hours?" Perkins snored in response. "Very well then. Carry on," and with a soft pop, Arthur returned home to chaos.

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At home, Molly had Percy lying upside down on the sofa, feet in the air, covered by four blankets, and a cold compress on his head. She was just about to put on water to boil when Arthur arrived.

"Dear, what seems to be the matter?" Arthur's typical oddball disorientation never failed him in the face of crisis. He spotted Percy and frowned. "Oh my. Looks like someone is a bit under the weather"

"Is Percy going to die?" Fred didn't sound too unhappy about the prospect.

"No, no," Molly shushed him away. "Arthur," she whispered, "I really don't know what to do about this. He woke up this morning with just his hair gray and now it's spread to his chest and arms. It won't stop."

Despite this, Percy was dealing with his mother's home remedies quite well. Since he couldn't be terribly productive being upside down he tried to list off all the Every Flavor Beans' flavors he knew, spell them, and then again backwards. Not being a very imaginative boy, the idea came from an empty package lying on the floor near his head.

Arthur turned his head upside down to get a good look at his third son. "Yes, definitely gray."

"Yes, darling, very helpful," Molly muttered with a wearied sigh and put her hand to her head. "What are we going to do?"

"Did he eat anything? Any potion spill on him?" Arthur poked parts of his son's body with his wand. "Ah! I think I've thought of something. Arbus Phalanges!" A flick of his wrist and Percy continued to change gray except for his fingers and toes that were now leafy green. "That didn't quite work the way I'd imagined." He wrinkled his forehead and turned to Molly. "So, no luck. What's for lunch?"

"Arthur!"

"Er...just trying to lighten the mood, dear. Joking, of course. Um, about those ideas, any?" He looked around to the blank faces of his family finding no reassurance.

"We could put him in a vat of pudding!" Fred suggested hopefully.

"How would that help?" Arthur asked desperately, willing to try anything.

"Oh, I don't know, just thought it would be funny."

"No! Absolutely not. You two, back upstairs!" Molly had no clue what to do as she pushed the twins upstairs.

"Not fair!" Cried George.

"I'm the victim here!" followed Fred.

"And how's that?"

"I was cursed with such a dreadfully boring brother, that's how!" and very maturely Fred stuck his tongue out for full viewing before running to catch up with George.

"Cursed? Or Arthur, you don't think . . ."

"Now you're just panicking, my dear. I'm sure it's nothing of the sort," he said reassuringly, not looking too certain himself. "Let me just drop off a note to a friend of mine in the research division of St. Mungo's. Very bright lass, by the name of . . . Nelly. That's right, Nelly McIntire. I'm sure she'll be happy to look it up for us. Come to think of it, she's probably not much of a lass now, started when I did, didn't she? Hmm." He wrote the note as Molly frantically rushed around the kitchen looking through books on magical maladies.

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It took about an hour, but finally Errol returned from his journey, response in hand - er - claw.

Lovely to hear from you Arthur. It has been a while, hasn't it? Dearly sorry to hear about your son, but I think I found what you are looking for. Seems as if he has a case of the Doldrums. Would never have thought this would strike a Weasley - if I remember correctly those twins of yours should prevent this! It's a quite simple thing to fix. You simply counter his dull personality by doing something he'd never think of. Covering him in pudding is an example they give. Countering his lack of inventiveness with something utterly silly should do the trick. Good luck and say hello to your lovely wife for me.

~Nelly

The twins were back in the kitchen to hear the letter read and Fred was ecstatic. "Pudding! HA! We get to cover him in pudding, George! What did I tell you? Do you believe our luck?"

"Excellent!"

"Now, you two, don't get carried away. We are supposed to be helping your brother." Molly started taking out what was to have been the family's dessert for the night from the cupboard.

"We'd never consider doing anything else, would we George?" Fred asked his brother with an angelic smile for his mother.

"'Course not! All we care about is Percy's welfare!" George returned with an equally angelic smile. They both turned away from their mother and their smiles quickly became wicked grins.

"Now, Percy, dear, come stand in this tub."

Percy wearily got off the sofa, struggling with the many blankets, and walked over to where Arthur had placed the tub.

"There you go, son." He patted Percy on the shoulder. Percy glared at him, arms folded.

"What's with you people?" He was now completely gray, head to toes (no longer green). The twins began to smash the bread pudding into his clothes, hair, and skin happily.

Ginny and Ron greedily toddled over and tried to eat some bit of the dessert. Ron decided that he too should put the pudding in his hair. "Look, look. Like Percy!" He started to laugh in all his two-year-old glory, throwing the pudding at his family members.

The twins emitted battle cries and jumped into the midst of the pudding bath, splattering everyone and everything with pudding. Ginny clambered up onto her father's shoulders and smashed pudding unceremoniously into his hair and giggling wickedly, causing him to join in as well. Molly Weasley stood apart for a second, gaping at the ensuing war, then muttered to herself, tugged off her apron, and dumped a great load of pudding down her husband's shirt.

Gray Percy, ignored by the rest of the Weasleys, was standing in the middle of the battle, sprayed with pudding from all directions, arms crossed in defiance. Slowlyut surely, the gray in his skin began to recede. Peaches were where they should be as well as the dark red that clouded his forehead when he was desperately trying to keep a stiff upper lip. Even the brown of his glasses was coming back.

"Look, look. Percy back!" Everyone froze and turned to where Ron was pointing. Percy stood stiffly in between them, wiping his glasses off on his equally soiled shirt.

"What?" He looked up startled, that everyone was staring at him and Molly was surprised to see the hint of a grin on his face. "Oh! I'm back?" He ran over to the mirror, trailing bread pudding behind him.

"Nice look. I hear the dishevelled thing is in this season, kid." Therror gave a cheeky flicker - it seemed to have forgotten the gray phase already.