- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- Harry Potter Severus Snape
- Genres:
- Humor Parody
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
- Stats:
-
Published: 10/10/2005Updated: 10/20/2005Words: 8,978Chapters: 2Hits: 756
As You Wish
Darth Stitch
- Story Summary:
- A slashy send-up/spoof of The Princess Bride featuring Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Guess who's the Bride?
As You Wish 03-04
- Chapter Summary:
- In which we learn how silly people in love can be, where the bad guys are introduced and a certain Man in Black makes his very first appearance.
- Posted:
- 10/20/2005
- Hits:
- 361
- Author's Note:
- This is a send-up/spoof of the Princess Bride, Snarry (or Snape/Harry) style. No old movies, books, fairy tales and Elves were harmed in the making of this fic (much!). This is pure silliness. And fluff. Lots of it. And maybe pirates too. As of this writing, there will be some SPOILERS for Half Blood Prince, although since this was begun before even Half Blood Prince was even published, I’m ignoring Certain Bits in there. So leave canon at the door. Heh.
Chapter Three (In Which We Learn How Silly People in Love Can Be):
The
Meaning of Three Little Words
Harry draped his arm around the shoulders of one of the village girls, a
somewhat bushy-haired young lady who was a little more sensible than the rest
of her peers. He whispered in her ear and she laughed merrily, a small hand
coming up to cover her mouth. They had become quite friendly of late, Harry and
this particular girl.
Snape, watching them from the window, found that he was clenching his fists so
hard that his nails were digging into his palms.
Really, it was inevitable that this would happen. Even if Snape hadn't
explained to him about the girls, Harry, loath as he was to admit it, wasn't
that stupid. The boy was bound to put things together eventually. No, he told
himself, Harry wasn't a boy anymore. He'd grown up to be a fine young man any
girl would be pleased to have as a husband.
Husband. A man and his wife.
Now why did that thought send a pang right through his heart?
"This is utterly ridiculous," Snape told himself quite sternly as he
stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. "It's not as if you weren't
going to lose him eventually."
Lose him. There was that odd little pang in his heart again. If he didn't know
any better, he was prepared to swear that it was almost....painful.
"Utterly preposterous," he told himself again, trying to sort out the
strange new feelings that were making his chest hurt and his stomach clench,
making him think of the half-formed wishes and old dreams that he'd put away a
long time ago. No. Absolutely not. He was well past the age of adolescent
longings and angst and stupid mistakes.
He would absolutely refuse to think about what he felt when he remembered the
way Harry looked when he was utterly engrossed in whatever book he was reading
at the moment, or how impassioned he became whenever they had their
"discussions," the way his cheeks would flush and his eyes would
flash behind those round glasses, and the way Harry would smile. No.
He didn't feel that way at all. No, of course not. It was just that Snape
didn't think he'd ever find an assistant with half as much sense as Harry did.
Yes, that was right, that made more sense. Most of the village boys were
complete dunderheads and couldn't be trusted with the simplest of tasks. He'd
miss having an assistant as competent and trustworthy as Harry was. And if he
was honest with himself - oh, all right, he would be - he rather liked Harry's
company. It would be a little...lonely now, here in his cottage, all by
himself.
That was all, really. He'd gotten used to having someone else about the house.
Yes. It would simply be lonely. He had a right to feel lonely, didn't he? Snape
was only a human being after all.
But a man must earn his living, especially a man who would one day have a
family....
Of course!
Who said that Harry would be out of a job? Snape thought, rebuking himself for
being so stupid. He shook his head - perhaps he'd spent too much time breathing
in the noxious fumes from some of his more potent potions - it was scrambling
his wits. Of course Harry would need a job, a way to earn his daily bread. And
he would probably need a dowry too, for the girl and all....
So it was that Harry found his reading interrupted one day by the thump of a
heavy leather bag on his lap.
"What is this?" Harry asked him, looking up at Snape, who was, for
once, wearing an almost pleasant expression instead of the usual scowl.
"A gift for you, boy," Snape answered. "I think you will be
needing it soon."
Harry looked inside the bag and his eyes widened at the amount of money inside.
"I don't understand."
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "It's for your
future, boy! Am I not right to assume that there will be wedding bells in your
future? To a certain young lady? Call this an early wedding gift, if you like.
And that you will still have a place here, if you wish to continue working for
me."
It was impossible to see the young man's expression. He was still looking down
at the leather pouch in his hands. Snape was starting to feel more than a
little offended. A little gratitude would be appreciated at this point. How
hard was it to say "thank you" for Merlin's sake?
"I'm not getting married."
Oh no. Snape felt a rush of pity for the young man right then, ruthlessly
ignoring the sense of elation that swept over him at the same time. The loss of
first love was never an easy thing to bear.
"I am sorry," Snape said then, gliding closer to the young man and
awkwardly patting him on the shoulder in what he hoped would be taken as a
gesture of comfort. "Broken hearts are soon mended, Harry, though it won't
seem so at first." Dimly, he realized that this was the first time he had
actually called Harry by his given name.
"Don't be," Harry answered quite calmly. "Hermione's a friend,
nothing more - almost like a sister, in fact." And that was when he
finally put book and pouch aside and stood up to face Snape. "My heart is
quite whole, as of this moment, though I've long given it away." He smiled
ruefully, looking at the Potions Master directly. "I don't know whether
he'll end up breaking it though."
He?! Snape could not possibly have heard that aright, did he? But
Harry's eyes were speaking volumes, a wealth of meaning that Snape could not mistake
and the older man suddenly wanted to sit down. And no, it wasn't because his
knees were suddenly weak, no, not at all. He needed to sit down so he could
grab the bottle of whisky that always sat at the small table beside his
armchair. He suddenly wanted a drink more than anything in the world.
"You are utterly daft," Snape found himself rasping. Where had his
voice gone?
"As you wish." And there was no mistaking the undertones of
tenderness in both Harry's voice and expression. It was then that Snape finally
realized exactly what Harry meant each time he'd said those three little words
that had exasperated Snape time and again.
I love you. Harry was telling him. Had told him each day and each night
for the better part of two years. That was what it was, all along.
"You are completely mad," Snape told him, crossing his arms over his
chest.
"For loving you?" Harry shrugged. "I rather think that all
people in love are a little mad. But that's the way it is."
"I am ill-favored and ill-tempered and more than twice your age!"
Snape shouted at him. "This is a ridiculous infatuation on your part and
nothing more!"
"It is not a 'ridiculous infatuation,'" Harry answered, taking a step
closer to him. Snape was mortified to realize that he couldn't help but take a
step back.
"You are not as 'ill-favored' as you think," the young man continued.
"I love you even when you're being the most impossible, cranky,
cantankerous git in the world - which is not all that you are, despite what you
think. I love the way you look when you're utterly engrossed in those potions
of yours, the sound of your voice even when you're telling me I'm a complete
dunderhead, the way you make me laugh with your sarcastic commentary on
everyone and everything, the way - " And here Harry managed a small laugh
that almost sounded like a sob. "I love the way that you hide all your
kindness and all your care under that sharp tongue of yours. I love everything
there is about you and everything that you are is beautiful in my eyes. And yes,
I also love your nose."
"You are not only completely off your rocker but you are also blind."
"On the contrary," Harry answered. "You were the one who taught
me how to see." And he gently trailed a hand down Snape's cheek.
Snape caught that hand, realizing that he was shaking at that first gentle
touch of Harry's fingers on his skin. Everything that he had kept all bottled
up inside, the secret feelings he'd refused to acknowledge, refused to even
give a name to, were set free with that single caress. He knew them for exactly
what they were now and he was suddenly, terribly sure that Harry could see them
reflected in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to hide them.
He had to. It wasn't right. Harry didn't deserve to waste the gift of his heart
on someone like himself and he opened his mouth to tell the young man exactly
that -
But that was when Harry kissed him.
And Snape realized that he was utterly lost.
Everyone knows that there is something very special about true love's first
kiss. It has broken spells and conquered the darkest enchantments. It has
confounded the most convoluted and terrible curses the strongest and most
terrible of wizards have conjured. It has toppled kingdoms and dethroned the
mightiest rulers. It has defeated darkness and death time and again.
But it is also an awakening, an acknowledgement of truth finally refusing to be
denied. And that was that Severus Snape loved Harry, had loved him ever since
he'd turned around and found that the boy he'd once taken under his care had
finally grown up into a man.
And he loved Harry enough to let him go.
"One year," he finally said when they parted. "I am giving you
one year."
"One year for what?" Harry asked him, still a little dazed from that
kiss.
Snape was fighting for control of his wits himself. "I am giving you one
year to get out of this house, this village. I am giving you one year to see
the world, to think quite carefully on your choices, on what you want."
"I know what I want."
"Listen to me," Snape told him, feeling quite desperate. "I want
you to have a chance to think everything over away from this house, this
village, away from me. I do not want you to wake up one day and realize that
you have made the worst mistake of your life by choosing me!"
"You're not a mistake, Severus. And there are no other choices for
me."
"Yes there is!" Snape insisted. "One year. See what the world
has to offer you, all that I can not. Do this, please, Harry. For me, if not
for yourself." He said this last sentence counting on the hope that Harry
would not, could not deny him anything.
He was right.
"As you wish," Harry whispered and Snape could practically hear the
young man's heart break, echoing the shattering of his own.
He couldn't bear that. And so, against his better judgement, he offered Harry
that one spark of hope. "If you are still quite sure of your choice,
then...come home. Come home to me....and I shall never let you go again."
And this time, he was the one who kissed Harry.
It was nearly dawn when Harry left their cottage and he refused to bring the
pouch of money that Snape had meant as a wedding gift from before. The young
man had some savings of his own and that would be enough for him. He would take
ship, he told Snape, sail away to America and seek his fortune there. And then
he would come back and not ever leave again.
"I am coming back, you know. I give you my word." Harry told Snape as
he stepped outside the door and the Potions Master knew that Harry, stubborn,
impossible brat that he was, meant to keep that promise. But he wanted Harry to
have his choices, to grow up a little more, to live a life without the sort of
regrets Snape had known. Even if it meant losing him to another.
Snape simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"Wait for me," Harry said and turned to go.
"As you wish." The blasted phrase slipped out of Snape quite suddenly
but he meant every blessed word.
That earned him one last, beautiful smile from Harry and then he was off, going
on his way and not looking back.
Katerina rolled her eyes and shook her head. "He really shouldn't have
let Harry go."
"Well, he thought that Harry could do a lot better than choose him,"
Daddy explained. "And he loved Harry very much - he wanted Harry to be
happy, whoever and whatever he chose in the end."
"But Harry loved him back and he's not going to change his mind!"
"Well, Snape is a rather stubborn fellow," Daddy told her. "And
there's still quite a long ways for them to go."
"People in love can be very, very silly," Katerina declared.
"Aren't they, Daddy?"
"Very silly, indeed" Daddy agreed, chuckling. "Shall I
continue?"
Katerina nodded eagerly.
So months passed and every week an owl made its way to Snape's cottage, bearing
a letter from Harry. Harry told him of the things he'd seen and the people he'd
met and ended every letter with an "I love you." And Snape finally
admitted to himself that the other reason he'd sent Harry away was that he too
was afraid of being hurt. That he too needed time to think and sort out his
doubts and realize that he had to believe that Harry loved him completely and
forever and would never, ever change his mind about him.
He soon found himself counting the days until Harry would return home.
But then, without warning, Harry missed his weekly letter.
And then another week passed without a letter. And another. And fear and doubt
slowly found its way into Snape's heart yet again. Had Harry finally realized
what a mistake loving Snape was? Had he found another, far worthier person to
give his heart to?
It was Harry's friend, that bushy-haired, sensible girl whose name was
Hermione, who gave Snape the news.
"Pirates," Hermione said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "They
got Harry's ship off the Carolina coast."
"Who?" Snape asked her, already thinking of how he could save Harry,
what spells he could use, what he needed to pay if ransom was required.
"It was the Dread Pirate Roberts," Hermione told him with a sob.
"The one who never leaves survivors. The captain managed to send off an
owl but it was too late."
"And it was I who sent him out there," Snape murmured. Why was his
vision so blurry all of a sudden? Why did he suddenly feel so cold and empty?
"I sent him out there...when he could have stayed here, at home. Safe with
me."
He had a vague recollection of thanking Hermione and sending her on her way
home. But that single thought - I sent him out there - stayed with him,
echoing in his mind. He shivered and wrapped his cloak tightly around himself.
Harry was not coming home.
I sent him out there.
Harry was dead. And Snape wanted to wish that it was a clean, quick, merciful
death but his mind kept conjuring up images too horrific to be borne.
I sent him out there.
Snape wanted vengeance. He wanted to find this Dread Pirate Roberts and curse
him into perdition, wanting to make him experience every kind of pain and
suffering for eternity, to make him beg on his hands and knees for the sweet
release of death. He was a wizard and he knew curses and hexes to make even the
bravest man quake with terror. He'd never found much cause to use them before
but he did now.
I sent him out there.
He felt so utterly, utterly cold. Icy fingers closed around his heart, and it
wasn't the kind, numbing sort of coldness. It was a world of pain, of darkness,
of utter emptiness.
I sent him out there.
Harry was dead. The man he loved was gone.
Love. Snape found himself staring at an empty bottle of whiskey. Apparently,
he'd finished the whole thing already.
He lifted the bottle in a mock salute. "To love." And then, he hurled
it against the wall, taking savage satisfaction at the way it shattered into a
thousand pieces.
Snape vowed to never love again.
Chapter Four (In Which We Meet the Bad Guys):
Prince
Voldemort
When Prince Voldemort was born, the most handsome man in the world was Prince
Charming.
Charming was classic "tall, dark and handsome." He'd been known to
take on the odd Heroic Quest every now and then and had a reputation for
awakening sleeping princesses with true love's first kiss. Actually it was all
due to his lovely breath freshener which smelled like the sweetest of the first
flowers of spring. What red-blooded (or blue-blooded, for that matter) princess
wouldn't wake up to that? However, a first marriage, a divorce and a final,
second marriage (Snow White really knew how to keep her man) pretty much removed
Prince Charming from the "handsome and eligible" list.
When Prince Voldemort was in the stages of "awkward adolescence," the
most handsome man in the world was Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. The
blonde, blue-eyed warrior prince was a well-known and legendary hero. But
Legolas was also an Elf and all Elves eventually went to Elvenhome (wherever that
was). So he didn't stay on the list of "handsome, eligible and living on
the same plane of existence" for long.
So finally, in the prime of his years - neither awkwardly young or old and
decrepit, Voldemort, Heir of the great wizard Salazar Slytherin, Lord of
Hogwarts Castle, Prince of the great kingdom of Hogsmeade, finally made it to
the top of the "most handsome" list. And why not? Voldemort was tall,
fair, classically-featured with hair as dark as the proverbial raven's wings.
Poems had been composed for the color of his eyes, which weren't so cliché as
to be called "emerald green" but yes, they were green and yes, they
were a lovely, lovely shade of that particular color. We must beg the reader's
indulgence as describing Voldemort's eyes the wrong way (they seemed to glow
red at times) might land us in prison or worse.
You see, as handsome and charming as Voldemort was, no one dared to mention that
he also dabbled in the darkest arts of magic. Everyone knew (but did not dare
to speak aloud) of Voldemort's Zoo of Death wherein he collected and kept the
most vicious, dangerous and venomous snakes in the world. Nor did they dare
mention that Voldemort could talk to snakes and everyone discreetly looked the
other way whenever Voldemort appeared, his favorite pet Nagini wound round his
shoulders looking like a very exotic (but frightening) fashion ornament.
No one also dared to complain that his taxes were far too high and that even
the Dread Pirate Roberts, long the scourge of the Seven Seas, decided to change
tactics and follow his landlocked cousin Robin Hood's example of stealing from
the rich and giving to the poor. He even began leaving survivors to tell the
tales among the long-suffering Hogsmeade peasants and give them a little hope.
Of course, Voldemort promptly squelched these tales with the help of his very,
very clever PR man - Count Lucius Malfoy.
On the list of handsome and eligible men in the world (his wife had died a few
years ago, leaving him a very merry widower), Count Malfoy was a very discreet
second. It was a mark of his cleverness and cunning that he did so, because he
didn't want to make his Royal Master insecure. His most arresting feature was
his fine, long white-blonde hair, of which he was rather proud of. He spent two
hours a day just attending to his grooming and the rest of the population of
Hogsmeade devoutly wished that he'd spend the rest of his life just doing his hair.
They weren't that lucky.
The Count spent the rest of the day "convincing" people of Prince
Voldemort's goodness, graciousness and all-around perfection. If smooth words
and clever prevarications didn't work, well, he had other means. Most sensible people
simply chose to believe him, not wanting to know what he'd do to them if they
didn't allow themselves to be "convinced" the first time.
Now maintaining Prince Voldemort's perfection took a lot of work and between
the Count and Voldemort himself, they pretty much had it pegged down as an art
form. However, Voldemort was only human, with not a drop of Elven blood in his
family tree, and he couldn't stay perfect for long.
It started with a wrinkle. A tiny one, just at the edge of his luscious, sensual
mouth, which he spotted in his bathroom mirror while shaving. Horrified,
Voldemort checked and rechecked his reflection several times before finally
admitting to himself that yes, it was an honest-to-Merlin wrinkle, the
beginning of what was surely to be more to come.
No. He would not have it. Quickly, Voldemort threw on a dressing gown and ran
for his Magic Mirror (which he inherited from his cousin Bellatrix,
unfortunately deceased at the hands of that whey-faced snowy bint of a
princess). The Mirror was ordered to keep a running tally of all the handsome
men in the world, which was fairly useful so Voldemort could keep an eye on his
ranking and make sure that there were no others who could challenge it.
So, dark hair in an attractive tumble round his shoulders and jewel-green eyes
just barely flashing red, Voldemort stood in front of the Magic Mirror and
intoned the classic chant of:
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most handsome of them all?
The Mirror, instructed to dispense with its own rhymes, simply flashed a list
of the World's Most Handsome and Eligible:
1. The Dread Pirate Roberts.
2. Prince Voldemort
3. Count Lucius Malfoy
4. Baron Gilderoy Lockhart
Voldemort didn't have eyes for the remaining men on the list because all his
attention was fixed on the name occupying the Number One Spot.
The Dread Pirate Roberts.
The Dread Pirate Roberts?!!!
"But he wears a bloody mask!" Voldemort screeched, pointing his wand
at the Mirror, ready to shatter it into a million pieces. "And he is a
tacky, unwashed, stinking pirate!"
"He is young, my lord Prince," the Mirror answered mildly, all too
used to his royal Master's tantrums. "And I hear he rather keeps good
personal hygiene."
"Which means I'm ready for the geriatric ward?"
"And he's a hero! That usually bumps them up on the list. Dashing heroes
always have a handle on public opinion." The Mirror continued.
"And I'm not?" Voldemort shot back. "Am I not the good Prince of
Hogsmeade, beloved of his people, who are all eagerly looking forward to the
day I take the throne once my drunken sot of father has the good grace to
finally die?"
"You're starting to believe your own PR?"
Voldemort hissed. "Give me a very good reason not to break you right here
and now."
"I know how you can maintain your perfection, Your Royal Highness. That
wrinkle will soon be banished and you'll never worry about growing old and
losing your looks ever again." The Mirror amended its statement. For all
its coolness, it did have a sense of self-preservation after all. "Not
that you were about to, but still a little precaution never hurt."
"Go on."
The Mirror flashed an image of a cottage and a tall, thin man with a great beak
of a nose was bent over a bubbling cauldron. "Severus Snape, Your Royal
Highness, the Potions Master."
"Hm," Voldemort considered. "He has rather interesting features.
Especially that nose. He'd actually be quite dashing, if he cleaned himself up.
Though luckily for him, he'll never be able to approach me in the looks
department. What can he do?"
"Well, he is able to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, bottle fame,
brew glory and even put a stopper in death." The Mirror paused
dramatically. "Brewing a potion to make you look young and beautiful
forever, not to mention the wonders of an unlimited lifespan, should be easy
for him."
"Immortality, eh? Hmmm..." Voldemort did know of ways to make himself
immortal through his own dark arts but most of these involved the selling of
one's soul to a demon (Voldemort may not have cared for the state of his soul
but he didn't want to spend eternity as a demon's plaything) or complicated
vampiric-effect spells that had the nasty possibility of him turning into a
decaying corpse if they were ever broken. This looked far more promising.
Count Lucius Malfoy was the cincher. "Severus Snape? Oh, I buy my hair
care potions from him. He does fabulous work!" The Count smiled wickedly.
"But his poisons are the finest anywhere. Excruciatingly painful, quick
with no known antidotes. He understands the meaning of revenge."
"I think I like him already," Prince Voldemort mused. "I do
appreciate a man who relishes the finer things in life. Very well, have him
brought here."
So it was that Severus Snape was brought before the Prince for a very private
audience. (It wouldn't have been good PR to nose any hint of his loss of
perfection to the public after all.)
The Prince told him: "I am your prince and I command you to brew me a
potion that will make me live forever and keep me young and beautiful while
you're at it." He had to be specific after all - one could live forever
and grow ever older at the same time.
Snape answered, "I am your loyal servant and I'm telling you to bugger
off."
That voice. Delicious shivers ran down Voldemort's body before he finally
comprehended exactly what Snape said. He frowned, trying to regain his
composure. "I could have you punished in ways that will have you begging
for death before I'm done."
Snape crossed his arms, "And you will still be out a Potions Master - I am
now the only person in the world who knows the secrets that you so badly
want."
Voldemort leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers, schooling his
features to calm indifference. Any other man would have been hexed on the spot
but that lovely, lovely honey-like voice...egads, he could listen to that voice
forever, regardless of what he was saying. And up close, Snape really did look
dashing, with that pale skin, long black robes that billowed gently with his
every movement - all he really needed was to clean up a little...maybe wash that
hair a little more and an ointment for those stained fingertips (such elegantly
long fingers, though) and he'd be fine.
"Bold words, sir. I can force you to my will. I am not without my
knowledge of spellcraft, you realize," Voldemort told him.
"In which case we will have a very lively battle wherein I will most
likely die but you will be left with permanent scars from my wand." The
guards had never seen Snape move but suddenly there Snape was, arm
outstretched, pointing his wand right between the Prince's eyes.
Voldemort laughed, clapping his hands. He wanted this man, wanted him in his
service and more...perhaps? He discreetly licked his lips and answered,
"Name your price, Potions Master. Money, jewels, a noble title? I think my
Royal Court can suffer the presence of a few more barons and earls?"
Something flashed in Snape's dark eyes, something Voldemort found quite
familiar. "The Dread Pirate Roberts."
Voldemort suddenly wanted to hex Snape's head right off then and there (the Prince
should be the only desirable man in the world - not that tacky pirate!) but
wait - that wasn't lust or desire in the other man's eyes. It was something
else entirely.
Hatred. That was what it was. A dark and terrible hate that burned like dragon
fire, that was as cold and as dark as winter night, utterly malevolent in its
anger and rage. Voldemort thought he ought to pity the man who was the target
of such hatred but as he didn't love the Dread Pirate Roberts very much at the
present, he decided not to.
"Vengeance," Voldemort said, understanding the man completely.
"That can be arranged, Master Snape. With very great pleasure, as you will
be doing me another service."
Snape inclined his head. "So we understand each other, then." It was
not a question, merely a statement of fact.
"Oh yes," Voldemort answered, smiling. "We understand each other
very, very well."
Snape finally bowed, doing it quite gracefully, the first sign of deference he
had showed ever since he was ushered into the Prince's presence. "Then
your potion shall be done."
Two
Interludes
Intrigues and Machinations
Count Lucius Malfoy was a victor in both the fields of battle and the equally
deadly skirmishes that were common at Prince Voldemort's court.
He had to be; his pride would accept nothing less.
One would expect that a man who spent two hours a day doing his hair was
nothing but an effete fop. The person who would think that of Lucius Malfoy did
not survive very long. Often, their respective ends were very messy and
terribly painful. The Count was counted among the greatest swordsmen in the
world - a reputation that was earned in the blood and tears of his hapless
opponents, their widows and their orphans on both the battlefield and the
dueling field.
In the equally vicious battleground that was Voldemort's court, Count Malfoy
was also feared for his diabolical plots and machinations. He was the man
people quietly pointed to when certain families fell to ruin but of course,
pointing was all they could do. The Count left nothing that could be traced to
him - if anyone cared to try, why, he was practically a living saint. And no
one dared to contest that.
It was in such a manner that the Count won his place as the second most
powerful man in the kingdom, next to Prince Voldemort's side. He was quite
jealous of his position and would accept no other rival.
Until Severus Snape arrived.
True, Prince Voldemort had ostensibly brought him in for his skill in potions -
a simple service, nothing more. But he also proved to be quite clever in other
matters, especially the issue of one pesky pirate. Between him and Voldemort
himself, they had already given the clever rogue Roberts many near misses.
Also, Snape's work in brewing Voldemort's eternal-youth-and-immortality potion
was progressing quite nicely. It was a rather complicated matter and it
required several exotic ingredients, some of which the Potions Master got
himself but it would soon be ready and Prince Voldemort was quite pleased.
This wasn't the only thing the Prince was pleased about.
The Potions Master also played the game of intrigue quite well. Snape
recognized the value of keeping an eye on Voldemort's Court and while his
acerbic tongue could still flay alive the more witless and powerless courtiers,
he'd also cleverly charmed the ones with any true significance in the running
of the kingdom. That unmistakable voice must have helped, aside from the fact
that the greasy-haired, sallow-skinned, beaky-nosed wizard that they brought in
from the rustic country actually cleaned up quite nicely. No, he would never
approach Prince Voldemort's kind of beauty (and that was a fortunate thing) but
yes, he was dashing indeed. In fact, he now cut a rather romantic figure at
court and Malfoy had to admit that his Royal Master had noticed that more than
once.
An immortal prince could very well choose whoever he wished his consort to be,
regardless of gender, especially since immortality would render the necessity
of producing an heir to the throne a moot point. And Prince Voldemort was
absolutely fascinated with Severus Snape, however cleverly he tried to hide it.
It was interesting to watch, this odd little courtship where Snape treated the
Prince with a simple, yet elegant civility. Of course, Voldemort found this
refreshing, after the fawning flatteries and simpering from the rest of the
court. And in return, the Prince did his utmost to charm the Potions Master, who
apparently wasn't unaware of the other man's attraction to him after all. Snape
would be weighing all the possibilities of this new development very carefully,
especially now, with him rising so high in the royal favor.
A Royal Consort of Snape's obvious abilities would be no mere plaything. He
would be a power in the kingdom and who was to say that Count Malfoy's position
would be so secure?
Ah, but the Count was a clever man. There were plans to be made, bases to be
covered. After all, the point was that Lucius Malfoy would come out of all this
as a winner.
Right now, Snape only needed a few more ingredients to complete his Potion. The
Potions Master needed to make another one of those trips to secure them and
Voldemort ordered the Count to ensure that his "valued friend" (friend,
now, not servant, Malfoy noted) would be returned to the kingdom safe and
sound.
That meant bodyguards and that also meant good bodyguards. His Royal Master had
made it quite clear that he would be most displeased if anything
happened to his dearest friend, Severus Snape.
Reluctantly, the Count put away all thoughts of assassination from his mind. At
least, not until the Prince's Potion was completed and his desires were sated.
As of the moment, Snape had not placed himself in the Count's path as an enemy.
And the Count required more information about the enigmatic Potions Master as
well before he made his next move.
So Malfoy decided to pay a visit to an old friend - the Sicilian known as Peter
the Rat. The Rat had a knack for finding the best people for any job and he was
clever, in his own way. And perhaps, he could be trusted for a little spying
work...
The Man in Black
Lucius Malfoy was not the only one with spies in Hogsmeade.
He was also not the only one watching the Potions Master's every move.
A messenger slipped out of Hogwarts Castle, bearing a coded message. There was
no way one could use an owl - all owls were watched by Prince Voldemort and the
Count - so a human being had to take it. It took a little longer but there was
time to spare.
The written words were nothing out of the ordinary, a letter to a sweetheart,
nothing to bring any anxiety. But the hidden meaning was straight to the point:
The Iuventavitas Potion nears completion. Severus Snape sails from Dragons'
Lair with the final ingredients in hand. Three guard him - the Sicilian known
as Peter the Rat, an English swordsman and a giant. Be warned!
The message was borne by a simple maidservant out of the Castle, who brought it
to one of the more popular inns in Hogsmeade. Out of that inn, a drunken
soldier hid the message inside his wine-spattered tunic.
At the port, the message was carried by a young boy, who was quickly taken as a
cabin boy on a ship known to be "friendly." They soon came to a
certain island that was not on any map and known only to those who were counted
among a certain "brethren."
The boy left his service with the captain's blessings.
The island was a pirates' nest - wild, loud, mostly lawless - governed only by
the Pirates' Code. And then again, it was considered to be "just a guide
and not the bloody Ten Commandments, savvy?" When the boy arrived, the
Pirates gave him a raucous hero's welcome.
For the Messenger and the message had arrived safely. The message, in fact, had
never changed hands - it had been borne by one person all along. When one was a
Metamorphmagus and able to change appearance at will, it was very, very easy
indeed.
The Metamorphmagus, whose name was Tonks, was in fact a girl, with a penchant
for changing her hair into any color of the rainbow and beyond. She quickly
brought that message to the man in black who awaited it.
"Wotcher, Captain!" she greeted him with a sunny grin and a casual
salute.
The Man in Black might have smiled back except that he was already reading the
message passed on to him.
Severus Snape would soon be able to complete the potion. The Man in Black
allowed himself to consider it. An immortal Voldemort, powerful beyond measure,
practically unkillable, holding sway over the hapless people of Hogsmeade and
perhaps even beyond, if the information brought to him in previous messages was
right. The Prince had delusions of empire and had the resources to pull it off.
The Man in Black gave orders to sail at dawn.
It was time for the Dread Pirate Roberts to make his move.
- TBC -