Lily, My Enemy

Lily opened her eyes after a long, dreamless sleep. All of what had happened the day before came flooding back to her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "The werewolf-the dog-the stag-the rat- Dumbledore- Shrieking Shack-have to tell McGonagall and Dumbledore!"

"Calm down, Lily" Arabella, who was lying on the bed next to her, said. Arabella was as confused and befuddled as Lily was, but she knew how to keep her feelings hidden and not to show her nervousness. Lily needed as much comfort as Arabella could give, and, good friend that she was, Bella knew that being nervous and jittery would not help Lily one bit.

"Did you tell Dumbledore?" Lily asked anxiously. She felt that as long as Dumbledore knew what had happened, everything would be all right.

"I didn't," Arabella replied. "But, Lily, for some reason, my sixth sense keeps telling me that he already knows."

Satisfied with that answer, Lily took a moment to take in her surroundings. She was in the hospital wing. Everything was familiar to her; she had been here a thousand times. Not that she was constantly hurt; actually it was the exact opposite. She came not out of her own free will, but of Professor Dumbledore's or Professor McGonagall's request to give an apology to James for beating him up or cracking one of his bones. The apology consisted only of the word 'sorry'.

After she said it, she usually ran out of the hospital room like she was being chased by a stampede of cattle.

The door opened suddenly. Arabella and Lily turned around to see Poppy, Madame Pomfrey's sixteen-year-old daughter and assistant nurse. She was carrying a plate of food.

"Hi!" she said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you," Arabella and Lily both said at the same time out of courtesy.

Poppy gestured at the food and informed Lily, "That's for you." When she saw Lily look briefly at Bella, she added, "Arabella ate already."

As Lily ate, she listened to Poppy's chatter.

"Mum said you damaged your bloody head extremely bad. It certainly looked it. Your head was bleeding so much! What happened? Bloody, if we hadn't performed certain spells and bandaged it up right, I honestly don't bloody know what would have happened to you. You slept for two bloody days straight! Both of you did! When you came in, you were so bloody tired! No, what has been bugging me for two days now is what the heck happened that bloody night?"

Arabella and Lily looked at each other, and thought the same thing: How would they explain it to Poppy?? Lily stopped in mid-bite and looked at Poppy, about to make up some lie about being lost in the forest.

But Poppy didn't seem to want an explanation, since she went on. "You know, after you passed out on your stretchers, I bloody heard something going on in the other room, and guess what I bloody saw! I saw Jessa and Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and James Potter! Bloody, I have a crush on him, but don't tell anyone! Anyhow, they were talking to the bloody teachers and they were making up some bloody excuse about being out at night...say, did they happen to be with both of you last bloody night? Bloody, what was it, a double date? Or, in this case, a triple date with an bloody extra?"

Lily and Bella kept exchanging glances across the bed. Arabella briefly wondered how Poppy manage to say "bloody" before almost every single word and still be able to speak a mile a minute. They also didn't offer any explanation since Poppy seemed to want to hear her voice more than she wanted to be made clear. Poppy's voice was starting to annoy both of them.

They were saved from further irritation by the opening of the door. This time it was Professor Morgain.

Professor Morgain entered the room smiling gently. She was the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, very young, in her late twenties. Her students were very much fond of her, except, of course, the Slytherins. But even they couldn't make any trouble in their class, because her punishments were more severe than any beatings; she would pull the troublemaker out of class, and quietly and gently talk to him about the matter and its consequences in a motherly tone, causing the victim to grow, believe it or not, incredibly ashamed. Lucuis Malfoy, Severus Snape, and more were known to blush, fidget, and stammer in her pious presence and warm smile. She helped each and every child with their studies and even Frank Longbottom achieved high mark in DADA once in a while because of her help.

Professor Morgain was an optimist by heart. It was a wonder how such a compassionate person like her could teach such a tough and harsh subject like Defense Against the Dark Arts. But she knew all there was to teach about it and was perfect for the job.

Seeing her enter the room, Poppy took it as a sign to leave and so she picked up Lily's now empty plate and said farewell.

"Good bye," said Morgain as she passed by. Then she turned to the girls. "So, girls, the professors and I have been wondering what happened last night. Is it possible that you could tell me? Or perhaps, it's not the right time?"

Arabella and Lily looked over at each other, which they tended to do often. Surely they could trust Professor Morgain. Both nodded slightly.

"It's ok, Professor," Lily replied. "We could tell you..."

And so they proceeded to tell every detail of the adventure, and Morgain listened intently and thoughtfully.

When they finished, she merely said "Hmm... First of all, do you want me to tell the Headmaster about this?"

The girls both shook their heads. "Not yet, please," Arabella uttered. Lily nodded in agreement and added "It seems like it's not time yet. I'm afraid that in twenty years from now, I'd have regretted saying that, but I'll take that risk."

Morgain laughed in reply. "Now, about the werewolf, I think Professor Dumbledore would allow me to reveal this to you: There is a student werewolf in this school. Every full moon, he goes to the Whomping Willow and, by the tunnel, goes to the Shrieking Shack. You already saw that for yourself."

"Professor", Lily interrupted. "How did the branches freeze like that?"

"There is a button on the tree trunk that allows anyone to freeze the Whomping Willow. Actually, the Whomping Willow was designed for the werewolf; it was built for that person's use. I am very perturbed about those animals you mentioned. I have never seen a stag near here before, especially one that knows the path perfectly. I wonder... Lily, Arabella, I'll be right back!"

The girls watched Morgain walk out of the room, puzzled at her sudden departure.

Then the door opened once again, and the girls looked up, expecting it to be Professor Morgain. Instead, it was Poppy, who stuck her head in and said "Bloody! Hey, again! Arabella, mum wants to see you. Something about some sort of bloody cure for your feet..."

Arabella jumped up and said "I'll be back soon Lily!"

Lily muttered a short goodbye to Bella. Afterward, she attempted to rest, but she was very awake and energetic, and sleep could not overtake her anymore. "I bet a quick walk wouldn't hurt", she thought, rising out of her warm, cozy bed.

She was just in the corridor when she heard voices coming from and empty classroom further down. She moved closer until she was standing close by the partly open door.

"Shouldn't we tell her?"

"No!"

"But she's confused! And we owe her an explanation!"

"I won't let her run around and tell the whole bloody world our deepest secrets!"

Lily leaned closer to the door. The voices consisted of a female and a male voice. She couldn't make out whose voices they were, but Lily thought they sounded very familiar. Then a new male voice joined in:

"Oh, for goodness' sakes, just tell her!"

"Remus, you are the LAST person I would have expected to say that! But fine, since it's your secret, we'll tell her." Then there was a pause in the old male voice. Then he continued in a much rougher tone "But if she tells the whole world, it's not my fault! Don't blame me if I just stand there and say 'I told you so!' because that's the first bloody thing I'll do!"

'Oh, my lord.' Lily froze. 'Remus. That's what the voice said. The voice! It must be-it is- James Potter! Yes! Now that I think about it, that female voice is exactly like Jessa Pettigrew's- deep, and confident.'

The voices continued.

Jessa Pettigrew's voice said, "Don't speak so loud, the whole world could hear you!"

Lily smiled. This was the perfect time for her to cut in. Her curiosity and inquisitiveness seemed to guide her hands as she turned the doorknob.

The scene that confronted her confirmed her guesses. Standing and sitting in some chairs were the "old gang" having a conference. In the middle of the room, Jessa and Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black were situated.

Lily looked around and said, "I don't know about the whole world, but I sure heard you!"

James looked astonished. "How long--what did you--where--Lily, you overheard--Oh, my bloody lord!"

Lily laughed. "Well, you undoubtedly have a talent of stringing words together!" She glanced at the group. "So, who is that girl you are going to tell the secret too? Come on, you could spill your secret--I wont tell!" Then Lily had the fleeting feeling of being an alien in an unknown city when everyone started to stare at her. 'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea', she thought. 'I should have respected their privacy and not have been so nosy. What am I doing here??' She cursed herself for a millionth time for not thinking before leaping.

Meanwhile, everyone else seemed to be squirming. How could they positively explain everything to Lily? It was their secret! And how could they know that Lily could be trusted? They all stared at Remus as if giving all the responsibility to him. He looked very nervous.

Finally, he spoke. "Err, see here, Lily," he stated. "We know what happened last night"

Lily froze once again and looked sharply at Jessa. Her mind had formed the sudden conclusion that Jessa blabbled to the boys. How else would Remus know what happened last night? It wasn't like he was actually there.

Jessa looked back at Lily and felt so miserable. Everything that had happened last night was all her fault because she led Lily and Bella to the Shrieking Shack when she was supposed to lead them away from it. She should have said something! The werewolf could have bitten Lily or Bella! It was all her fault! The fact that she obviously knew what was inside the Shrieking Shack didn't help matters one bit.

"We knew what happened yesterday," Remus repeated. "Because we were there."

Lily gasped.

Remus hoped Lily wouldn't react so shockingly to the next sentence he was about to say. Lily wouldn't think he was such a nice, considerate, and caring person once he said it. He took a deep breath. "See here, Lily, I'm a werewolf--"

Lily gaped at Remus. 'No, not Remus, he couldn't be!' she thought. 'So he's the student werewolf Professor Morgain was talking about!' After she got over her shock, instead of being appalled and revolted, she actually felt an instantaneous feeling of pity for the poor guy! Imagine being a werewolf for all your life! Poor Remus!

At the sight of Lily's open mouth, James felt a spurt of anger at Lily. Trust Lily to take it the wrong way. As Remus' best friend, he was inclined to feel a little protective of him. 'Remus is a sensitive person,' he thought. 'What if she started calling Remus names? Or worse, just ignoring him altogether! You could never know what a girl like Lily Evans could do!'

Remus just felt worse and worse. What would Lily think of him now? All the same, he knew he had to continue. Lily deserved the truth. He had to put her first! So he went on, "Yes, I am a true, flesh-and-bone werewolf, or at least at every full moon. I was bitten by a one when I was very young, and every full moon, I transform into a ferocious werewolf. Madame Pomfrey takes me to the Whoming Willow hours before the full moon. From the Whomping Willow, I enter the tunnel to go to the Shrieking Shack. That's where I'm free to transform, where I can't hurt anyone. It was me you saw the other night. I didn't mean to intentionally hurt you. I lose my mind when I transform and nothing pleases me more than to sink my teeth into a human being."

Another voice interrupted him. Lily knew who it belonged to even before she even turned around. His voice was already branded into her head; it was like her conscience. Whenever she did anything bad, she heard his voice telling her she was stupid, ignorant, and spoiled, which of course made her want to do the right thing rather than act stupid, ignorant, and spoiled, and have him get the pleasure of being right about her, even if he was only in her head. No one else could have that dry, deep voice soaked with sarcasm except for him. It was, of course, James' voice.

"We were there, too, not just Remus," he uttered. No one could even begin to imagine the pressure he was undergoing by telling his worse enemy his deepest secret. Actually, it was also Sirius's, Peter's, and Jessa's secret. Bloody, that was just an extra thing to list in his conscience. He felt so bad, he was practically forcing the words out of his mouth. "Me, Sirius, Peter, and Jessa are animagi. Sirius was the dog, Peter the rat, and I the stag. We're there to help Remus and make him not feel so lonely."

As he said these words, the four transformed into their animagus form.

He continued, "We all have nicknames. Mine is Prongs, Sirius' is Padfoot, Remus' is Moony and Peter is Wormtail. Jessa can transform, too. Well, she used to be able to three days ago. The very next day, she couldn't, and that's part of the reason we were there very early last night. We were holding a meeting in the Shack, trying to figure it out. Then it started getting very dark, and we still hadn't figured it out. We already tried to give her the potion that made us become an animagi in the first place, but it still wouldn't work. I don't know what the problem is. When she used to transform, she would turn into an orange cat, and her nickname was Crookshanks." He shot a worried look at Jessa.

Then Jessa spoke. " James is right. We were in the Shrieking Shack hours before you came near there. James saw you and Arabella sipping butterbeer out of a window in the Shrieking Shack. He got nervous and thought that you would think of going in. So he sent me to try to get you away from the Shrieking Shack, but of course, that only made you want to go in more. I'm sorry! It's my entire fault! You could have been killed! I wasn't supposed to let you in! It's all my bloody fault!"

"It's ok, Jessa," Peter said. He started stroking Jessa's back. He was her twin brother, after all, and he could sometimes feel her emotions if they were very strong. Now, he could sense that she was afraid, guilt-stricken, and very weary. The least he could do was comfort her.

Lily was looking at Jessa wide-eyed. So that's why she knew that the doorknob wasn't open, and why she wasn't so alarmed at the werewolf's-er, Remus'-howl. Or why she seemed to understand what the stag-James-was saying with his eyes. The fact that she seemed so afraid to enter the Shrieking Shack was all an act to lead Lily away. She was so stupid for not recognizing Jessa's actions as an act. She seemed nothing like the Jessa Lily knew. Lily cursed herself again for not noticing. Then she remembered how Jessa had stayed after James the stag had carried her out.

" What I don't understand, though, is how you were able to stay in there and fight Remus after I had left. Wouldn't you have been bitten also because you couldn't transform and was still in your human shape?"

James, Siruis, and Jessa looked at each other after Lily had stated her question. Now how would they explain this?

Since it was Jessa's secret, she was the one who spoke. "Well, you see Lily, I really can't tell you. Don't take it the wrong way or anything, but I can't. I'll tell you this, though. The female people in our family are, er, gifted. We can do things that other people can't. And I don't mean muggles, I mean that I can do things other magical people can't. It just comes naturally to me while other wizards have to study for YEARS to be able to do even one spell that I could do using my, er, gift. Rowena Ravenclaw had it, too. Anyhow, that's how I was able to stay in the Shrieking Shack and not get hurt. But there are two bad things about it: first, I don't use it that often because it can drain me out, and second, if I'm experiencing some very strong emotions, things could get out of hand. Like, glass might break or things around the room might go flying. So I have to be able to control my emotions. There you have it. I know it sounds unusual, but it's just me. Part of the time I'm normal." Great. Here she was lying to her best friend. She wasn't normal, not when she could read other people's minds...

Sirius took this as his turn to speak. "It's not all your fault, Jessa. Part of it is mine. Ok, most of it is mine." He continued, "Since Severus Snape was there, Lily took it for herself to er, rescue him. Not that a slimy git like him needs any rescuing--"

James threw him a glare.

Sirius held up his hands guiltily. "Ok! I forgot, no cursing out Snape, right Prongs?" From saying that, he got, this time, rolling eyes from James. "I'll continue now...Anyhow, it's my fault because I got Snape there and if he wasn't there, Lily wouldn't have pounced on Remus."

When Lily gave him a confused look, Sirius said, "Err, I'm confusing people now. I'd better start from the beginning." He took a dramatic deep breath before he started again. "You see, Lily, I wasn't at the Shrieking Shack like all the normal people. I was at Hogwarts. See, I was trying to convince Snape to go to the Shrieking Shack. I wanted him to get scared by Remus. I obviously wasn't thinking--"

James coughed very loudly.

Sirius continued, although he bestowed on James a look that expressed pretend shock. "I told him it was as easy as apple pie--he only had to push one little button in the Whomping Willow, and, boom-the leaves would freeze, and a tunnel would appear, which would lead him to the Shrieking Shack. It wasn't like I knew Lily and Bella were there. It was just a harmless prank!"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Sirius ignored them and resumed, "Then that bloody, stupid, idiotic fucked up git actually went in!" Then he started laughing quietly but was stopped by Remus', James' and Jessa's glare.

"When he was almost at the end of the tunnel, I ran after him," said James. "You see, when I told Jessa to get rid of you, Lily, I ran out in my animagus form to the Whomping Willow because I knew that Sirius was doing something. So now, I grabbed Snape and tried to lead him away from the tunnel--"

"The same time you grabbed me, Lily," Remus interrupted.

"Me and Sirius--"

"Sirius and I," corrected Lily.

James rolled his eyes. There really was no change in Lily, was there? She sounded exactly like the inexperienced eleven-year-old that James met for the first time in the train station five years ago. "Whatever. Anyhow, we dragged Snape back to Hogwarts' Great Hall. None of the teachers were there yet. Then we went back to the Shrieking Shack and found you and Arabella. Then you know what happened next."

"I saved you Lily, you know," Peter muttered. When was he going to get the credit he deserved? "You almost got bit by Remus, but you tripped on me and fell" Not that Peter actually placed himself at Lily's foot, but he'd take the credit for that for himself.

"Thank you, Peter," Lily said seriously.

James spoke again, glaring at Lily. "God, Lily, you were so fucking STUPID!! You could have been killed-eaten-bitten by Remus! Or...or expelled by Dumbledore, or we could have been expelled! Or worse, we could have gone to Azkaban by being illegal animagi. Or-or--"

Lily's eyes grew wide, and her mouth dropped open. So it was her fault now? How dare he! "Excuse me! Who was the one who tackled the werewolf and tried to get Snape away from him so Snape wouldn't get ripped up in a million pieces? Me! Who tried to help Arabella and Jessa tackle the werewolf even if her head felt like bursting because it was hurting so fucking much? Me--"

James cut in, yelling "WHO STARTED ALL THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE? YOU! You didn't have to tackle Remus or save Snape, or help Bella and Jessa even though you were having PMS pains or do those other oh-so-courageous things you claimed on doing if YOU HADN'T ENTERED THE SHACK IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

As he took a breath, Lily cut in. "Oh, so now it's all my fault, huh?"

"Yeah, it's all your-"

"I fucking tried to save your worthless skin! If--"

"I don't need any saving, especially from you!"

"As I was saying before your big mouth interrupted me, if I wasn't there to save you skin, you and Sirius would have been in the werewolf's stomach!"

"The werewolf has a name! It's Remus, not that your undersized, puny mind could actually absorb that!"

"I saved your butt and all you have to say to me is that I have a puny, undersized mind? Well, excuse me! And I was NOT having pms pains. But maybe YOU are right now, you little GAYLORD"

"Umm, Lily," interrupted Remus, the peacemaker. "Werewolves are no danger to animals; they only bite humans--"

"SHUT UP!!" Lily snapped. Remus held up his arms in fear.

"No, YOU shut up, Lily!" James interrupted. "THAT'S MY FRIEND THERE! AND IF YOU WOULD JUST STOP TRYING TO STEAL THEM FROM ME, MAYBE YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT THEY ARE HUMANS, TOO! I GET ENOUGH CRAP FROM YOUR FRIENDS LOOKING AT US LIKE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN SPECIAL ED. NO ONE ASKED YOU TO BE SO FUCKING NOSY AND STICK YOUR BIG FAT HEAD WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG! ALL MY FRIENDS ADORE YOU, LIKE YOU'RE SOME GODDESS, OR SOMETHING. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO TO ALL OF YOU? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO US?"

"BLOODY! MY FRIENDS TOTALLY WANT TO KISS YOUR SMELLY ARSE. 'JAMES IS SO POPULAR', 'JAMES IS SO PERFECT', 'WHO DO YOU THINKS IS BETTER LOOKING, JAMES OR SIRIUS?' 'WHY CAN'T MY BOYFRIEND BE MORE LIKE JAMES?' 'WHY CAN'T JAMES BE MY BOYFRIEND' 'DO YOU THINK JAMES LIKES ME?' MY GOSH, IT'S ALWAYS JAMES, JAMES, JAMES AND JAMES! I NEVA GET ANY FUCKING CONSIDERATION FOR EVERYTHING I DO! IT'S ALWAYS 'LILY, YOU DID THIS WRONG' OR 'LILY, YOU DID THAT WRONG!' I GET ENOUGH OF IT AT HOME! ALL OF YOU ARE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE PETUNIA, BLAMING EVERYTHING ONE ME! EVERYONE'S ALWAYS SO GOOD AT SPOTTING THE WRONG THINGS I DO, BUT HOW ABOUT THE RIGHT, NICE THINGS I DO? YOU JUST IGNORE EVERY CONSIDERATE THING I DO! WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT PERFECT!! DID YOU HEAR THAT? I'M NOT PERFECT! WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST ME?? WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST ME??" Lily finally paused and let out a deep breath.

There was a pause, and then James spoke.

"We're really sorry," James said. "I'm really sorry"-

"No, no!" Lily said. "It's all my fault! I got sort of out-of-control." Looking around apologetically, she muttered, "I'm so, so sorry! I wasn't thinking properly, forgive me! Can everyone just forget everything I said? I'm so sorry!"

"So am I," said James. "I didn't mean half the things I said you guys are my best friends ever!"

Everyone smiled and muttered things like "It's alright" and "You're forgiven, Lily, James", but everyone who heard them never knew the impact of those words muttered by confused adolescents looking for confidantes. No one would never forget things Lily and James had hollered. The words "Why is everyone against me?" and "What's happened to us?" would echo in their minds long years later, whether in the loneliness of the empty Shrieking Shack, on the counter of the Magical Menegerie looking wistfully at happy people skipping by, in the filthy, dark and lonely cell of Azkaban, or in the very face of the frightening Dark Lord. It would repeat over and over like a broken record until the listener would ask themselves why their lives was so miserable, why their strong circle had broken like a piece of fragile stained glass, why things had to turn out the way it had, what happened to them to lead them in this dark path of life, why, oh why, did everyone and everything in this unfair world turn against them?

But, for now, everybody was ready to forgive and to try to forget at least for a little while.

Lily, trying to make up for her outburst, said lightly "Are any of you planning on letting Bella know about any of this?"

No one really felt like answering Lily's question, since Lily's speech was still vaguely on their minds.

But they didn't need to answer because a new voice piped in, "Actually, there's no need to telling Bella all of this because Bella already knows".

It was, of course, Arabella, standing near the door, and she had a questioning, nervous expression in her eyes. "Err, I came in when Remus declared he was a werewolf. No one noticed me because all of you were so intent on the conversation. So-er- I just stayed. I didn't think anyone would mind--no one minds, right?" She looked around the room, her eyes lingering on Remus and Jessa, since it was mostly their secrets she had listened to.

Everyone shook their heads monotonously. Then came a very, very long silence, which no one dared to interrupt.

It was Lily and James who finally broke it by saying, "Er- maybe we should go?"

Fulfilling her request, everyone scrambled at the door at the speed of lightning, leaving both Lily and James standing in the middle of the room, looking half shocked, half confused.

Not wanting to be in the same room alone after their angry words had pierced each other like sharp arrows, they ran to the door, bumped heads, shoulders, and bodies, squeezed out the door, and ran out the hall like maniacs, both going in opposite directions, and sweating and gasping, not because of the running, but because of the burning in the spots where their bodies had joined.

They were both glad to get away from each other because they were afraid of the unknown and the feelings they were experiencing were unkown. Neither knew that from running away so much from each other, someday, they would have nowhere to run to except to each other's arms.

A/N I know a lot of people were saying that I didn't have a plot, but I have something in my mind and I think people are going to like it. I guess you'll just have to wait, though! For the meanwhile, here are some questions I should like your opinion on: What is Jessa really: and enemy or a friend. The answer might surprise you! And is there a budding attraction to Lily and James? Hmm. But what about Remus? And who do u think I should pair Sirius with: Arabella or Jessa?