Writing to a Redhead

A/N- Dear god, it's been a while since I updated this...I just finally got some free time, and thought I may as well finish it off and post the last two chapters. I hate having unfinished fics lurking about. So yeah, sorry about the hiatus, and enjoy the penultimate chapter...

Dear Professor Snape,

We are writing in the hope that you will assist us in the matter of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. We were wondering, if it would be possible, could you please have them sit their detentions in different rooms? We would be most grateful, as we are trying to keep them as far away from each other as possible, plus, if they're not together, there definitely won't enjoy the detention at all will they?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

* * * *

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

Please could you ensure that Mr Weasley and Ms Granger attend their detention in the same room? We have been informed PureBloods United have been attempting to persuade Prof. Snape to separate them. Being the wise wizard you are, you can surely see our predicament?

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely.

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * *

Severus,

Please would you be so kind as to make sure Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger both attend their detention in the same room?

Thank you,

Albus.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

What can we say? What is there left to say? I feel actions speak louder than words, in this case, YOUR actions.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

We are unsure what to write. We are, in effect, speechless. We feel we have no reason to correspond with you any more.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Holy crap.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

We regret to inform you, you will no longer be filed under 'Classics.' We do not feel there is a section suitable for your actions this evening.

Many Thanks,

Your Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

PS- We did NOT see that coming.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Oh Dear God. What Just Happened?

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

We are writing with one question in mind... What are you going to do with our information pack now? Please reply as soon as possible.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

* * * *

To--- The Hopeless Romantic Society, The Manager,

Here are the papers you sent me earlier in the week. I don't think they're really any use anymore are they? Taking tonight's events into account. I think you should stop owling Ron now.

Yours Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

* * * *

Dear Diary,

We had the detention. I... don't really know what to write at the moment. I'm gonna go talk to Harry, then I'll come back, maybe I'll know what to put then ok?

Ron.

* * * *

Dear Diary,

I DID NOT JUST DO THAT. I... can't believe did that. I told Harry, and he just stared at me for about five minutes without saying anything. Then-

"YOU DID WHAT?"

I nearly crapped myself, he yelled so suddenly. And I had to explain it again. Which wasn't so good. I suppose I should write down what happened shouldn't I? That's the point of a diary. Ok-

We went down to the dungeons right? And Snape goes- "Granger, get in that dungeon, Weasley, you come in here." And I was thinking, "What the hell? Snape normally just shoves everyone into his room, and leaves it at that. Why is he splitting us up?" so then, just as Mione's walking into her room, and I'm getting ready to argue, Dumbledore's phoenix- Fawkes, I think, - zooms past my head, and drops a note on Snape. And Hermione's stopped, to watch Fawkes, and Snape's unfolding this note, and he reads it within ten seconds, and out of the blue, just goes-

"Granger, come in my room as well please."

Then he sweeps off, looking like a bulldog with a nettle up its arse. And we just follow him, thinking WHAAAAT???

So we sit down, and I swear, my hearts going AT IT. It was THIS close to bursting out, no joke.

Snape made us pickle some toad eyes. Nice. Really nice. And we had to sort through which ones had already gone rotten and weren't of any use. You could tell how, because of the fact that they absoFUCKINGlutely reeked. Great huh? The totally perfect romantic atmosphere, isn't it? Just perfect for declaring your love. I DON'T THINK.

Hang on; Dean wants something- I think Harry might have told him. Great.

Back now. Anyway, what was I explaining? Oh yeah-

We're getting down and dirty with the toad eyes (dear god) and then who should walk in but the Ferret himself, slime boy extraordinaire, Draco Malfoy.

"Professor, im so sorry to bother you, but Professor McGonagall just took twenty points from Slytherin, which I feel was completely unfair. Could you go and talk to her?"

Urgh. The sliminess.

Snape glides his way out, looking demented as ever, while Malfoy just stands there smirking away. And that's when it starts-

"How's the detention going Mudblood?"

And she doesn't even reply! She just carries on going through the bloody eyes! So I look up, and he just smirks away.

"How's the family Weasley? You managed to get a second bedroom yet?"

And THEN Hermione decides to speak.

"Go away Malfoy."

She said it really calmly to, without looking up. Classy.

And he just comes back with some shit about her family.

"Why? What are you gonna do? Tell your parents? Who by the way are totally not safe. You know muggle attacks have started up again? How's the family Granger? They've not been cursed into oblivion yet?"

I actually cannot believe how low that guy can go. I looked over at her, and she's actually fighting back crying. She's gonna cry! He actually wants to stand there and watch while she cries. The scum.

Yeah, but somehow, she manages to hold back, and just carries on with the eyes. (Why? Why eyes? Snape is one twisted little fuck, I swear.) And Malfoy steps forward. He's coming closer... what sort of idiot is he?

One minute, Seamus' woken up, he wants to hear what happened...

Yeah, so, Malfoy comes over, leans across the table, and says-

"You know something Granger? I don't mean to be the voice of doom, but my dad's been mentioning "Those Grangers" quite a bit recently. Wonder what he's up to tonight?"

I flipped.

I've not actually properly hit someone before in my life. You'd think so, with all my brothers. But, no. Wrestling and stuff yeah, but a full- on punch? I can't remember doing that ever... I don't know what happened. I didn't even look at her before I did it. I just did. I sorta did a little weird jump up, and swung at him. And he went FLYING. It was bloody brilliant!

Then Snape walks in.

And Malfoy's slammed into the desk, and his nose is bleeding. Fuck knows how he can bleed, but hey, I guess he must have a heart of some kind.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

Oooh. It wasn't good.

"WEASLEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! YOU INSOLENT-"

"HE WAS THREATENING HERMIONE'S FAMILY!"

"I WILL NOT HAVE A STUDENT OF MINE-"

"HE WAS THREATENING HER FAMILY!"

"WEASLEY IF YOU DO NOT CONTROL-"

I walked out. I actually walked out of a lesson with Snape. I know what you're thinking- Holy shit... What the fuck, you're a book, you don't think.

She came after me. She came running out of the dungeons, and up the stairs, and into the corridor, and she swings me around.

"What on earth was all that about?"

Well, I was a little offended to say the least. She could have shown a little gratitude.

"What the hell are you on about? He was going on about your parents!"

"It's Malfoy Ron! You know not to let him bait you! You always manage to hold it back! What's been going on recently? The other day, and now this! What-"

"IT'S 'COS IT'S YOU! I GET MAD 'COS IT'S YOU!"

Bad move, I know. She just stood there. She carried on staring for ages; my ears were probably bright red when she spoke.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

So I did it. I did it. I didn't even answer her question. God, I'm such a klutz.

The one thing that Romantic Thingy Company didn't tell me to do- I did that. I finally did it.

I kissed her.

And you wanna know the weirdest part?

She kissed me back.

Ron.