Writing to a Redhead

A/N- Last chapter!

To--- PureBloods United, The Chairman,

Just a quick letter. You probably already know this, due to your incessant stalking, but Hermione and me are now going out. This means your letters are a waste of parchment. And, I hate to break it to you, but they always have been. Don't bother writing to me again.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

MEMO

TO

: The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

CC

: The Reality Check Corporation

The Love- Hate Relationship Office

PureBloods United

FROM

: The Hopeless Romantic Society

HAAAAAAAAAAA. We win. LOOOOSERS. L- O- S- E- R- S.

* * * *

To--- The Hopeless Romantic Society, The Manager,

I am writing to you for the first, and probably (hopefully) last, time. I owe you quite a bit, taking into consideration that I probably wouldn't have told 'Mione if you hadn't... harassed me so much. So thank you very much. But please, god, just... stop owling me. God almighty.

Once again, Many Thanks,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

To--- Chairman Of The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

Enclosed is your information pack, incomplete. I'm sorry, but I don't really feel I need it. At all. Thanks anyway.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

To--- The Reality Check Corporation, The Director,

Up yours.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

Dear Professor Minerva McGonagall,

We are writing to you in relation to the incident involving Mr Weasley and Mr Malfoy in Professor Snape's dungeon.

We have reason to believe the 100 points deducted by Professor Snape were, in fact, taken unfairly. Enclosed is a transcript of that evening's events. We trust you will make the morally correct decision.

Yours Sincerely,

The National Guild Of Professors Who Behave Rather Strictly, But Really Are Very Nice And Fair People. (T.N.G.o.P.W.B.R.S.B.R.A.V.N.a.F.P)

TRANSCRIPT OF EVENTS (SEE ABOVE.)

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLWING EVENTS OCCURRED AFTER PROF. SNAPE HAD EXITED THE CLASSROOM.

Draco Malfoy: How's the detention going Mudblood?

Hermione Granger: (silence)

Draco Malfoy: How's the family Weasley? You managed to get a second bedroom yet?

Hermione Granger: Go away Malfoy. (please note this was said very quietly and not aggressively AT ALL)

Draco Malfoy: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell your parents? Who by the way are totally not safe. You know muggle attacks have started up again? How's the family Granger? They've not been cursed into oblivion yet?

Draco Malfoy: You know something Granger? I don't mean to be the voice of doom, but my dad's been mentioning "Those Grangers" quite a bit recently. Wonder what he's up to tonight?

ONLY THEN DID MR WEASLEY PROCEED TO WALLOP THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF MR MALFOY.

GOOD LUCK IN YOUR DECISION, AND BEST WISHES.

* * * *

Severus,

Minerva recently received a letter and transcript from T.N.G.o.P.W.B.R.S.B.R.A.V.N.a.F.P. After intensive reading and discussion over the confrontation between Misters Malfoy and Weasley, I have decided, with all politeness, to ask you to revoke your deduction of points from Gryffindor. I trust you will take my request into account.

Thank You,

Albus.

* * * *

Minerva,

If Severus hasn't given the points back by this evening, could you please award them back yourself? And throw in an extra fifty, in celebration of whatever happened in the corridor after Mr Weasley walked out of Professor Snape's class. Sir Cadogan, as the only witness, informs me it was- "Rather jolly damn well good and not a bloody moment too soon"

Thanks,

Albus.

* * * *

To---The Association Of Magical Teenagers,

I am writing to let you know I chose not to read your last letter. I threw it into the fire. Also, I am letting you know, I am no longer bothered about your opinions on my, rather bloody good at the moment, life. In the last few weeks, you have assisted me in enlarging my inferiority complex, and so on.

Although I am eternally grateful for this, I would like you to remove me from your mailing list, pronto. To finish this letter, I just thought I'd let you know, tomorrow, I am going out with the most fantastically amazing girl ever, who by the way, is now my girlfriend.

Anyway, that's all for EVER. Write back? If you can afford to waste the parchment on the Gryffindor fireplace, go right ahead.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

Dear Mr Potter,

Do you remember when Ginny Weasley sent you that Valentine's card? Wasn't that cute? Were you not, just a teensy bit flattered? She's very pretty, isn't she?

This has been a little hint from the:

H.H.F.H.W.R.D.N.A.H

(Handy Hints For Heroes Who Really Do Need Another Half)

* * * *

To--- The Love- Hate Relationship Office,

So I won't go in 'Classics' No biggie. Oh, but can I remind you, you mentioned James and Lily Potter were in 'Classics', and they ended up marrying. So you do count Love-Love relationships sometimes, right? No bother, I just thought I'd point it out. You can leave me alone now.

Yours Sincerely,

Ronald Weasley.

* * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

You make a point. So we have made the unanimous decision to situate you in 'Classics'. There we go. Along with the greats, including Lily and James Potter, Sirius Black and Anya Williamson, sit the names- Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Congratulations.

It has been interesting.

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love-Hate Relationship Office.

* * * *

Dear Mr Longbottom,

Just to let you know, your previous rival for 'Most Promising Potential Candidate', Ronald Weasley, has since procured a girlfriend, which is in violation of the code. You're back on top Sir!

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

PS- Although, you are giving us reason to worry... you seem to have befriended Ms Lovegood recently, and we have already received a Memo from the National Trust Of Unusual Couples. Please consider this a friendly caution. We wouldn't want to lose our best candidate in years!

* * * *

Dear Diary,

Ron and I are going to Hogsmeade today. Harry's said we can use his invisibility cloak. We're going shopping, and then for a walk...

He doesn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Love Hermione. X

* * * *

Dear Miss Weasley,

Now that your brother and Ms Granger are together, Mr Potter will probably be found alone in the common room, while the happy couple are off on dates and such. ALONE. Wanting to talk to somebody. Somebody who he gets on well with.

Hmm?

Think about it.

Many Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * *

A/N- Thank you reviewers, I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. So for one last time, please can you review?