Writing to a Redhead

Dear Mr Weasley,

Ok... so, you've got to stay up tonight to do your Transfiguration, haven't you? And Hermione's offered to help you out with it. So that's just great. You know, this is quite cool. You'll be alone, together, at about midnight. What you gonna do Ron? You gonna make your move on her? Or you gonna sit their and do your homework while staring at her? Hmmm, we wonder. The suspense is killing us... or not. You wont do anything will you? No, course you wont. You dick.

Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

* * * * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Good luck! You're gonna be alone! Before the detention! Unexpected or what, huh? You are soooo close!! This is it! She is going to be with you, alone... this is the kind off opportunity that comes along every few months or so. But this time, you're gonna make the most of it aren't you? Because this time, you're sure aren't you? You really love her don't you? So you're gonna go for it aren't you? Finally!!

Good luck!

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Oh my god. Get real. As if you'll do anything. You're so close Ronald! Come on, screw this up, and we'll welcome you with open arms! You've only got a little way to go! Come on! Just sit alone with her for a few hours, and don't act on your feelings! Easy! You've done it countless times before! Once more, and you're a member! Come on old boy!!

Many Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Don't lose your nerve Ronald! Don't you lose it now! Tonight, IS the night.

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Tonight's the night huh? The night for WHAT? The night to be a MORON??

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

* * * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING ABOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. JUST... DON'T.

Yours Sincerely,

PureBloods United.

* * * * * * *

Ron,

What were all those owls you got this morning? This is so boring. Are you making any notes? Or you just gonna copy your girlfriend again?

Harry.

* * * * * * *

Harry,

Bite me. And since when have I EVER listened to Binns? Owls? They were just from mum and stuff.

Ron.

* * * * * *

Ron and Harry,

Don't think I'll let you copy my notes this time!!! Because I wont! You stop writing notes to each other NOW, and listen to Binns ok???

Hermione.

* * * * * *

Hermione,

Ok. Sorry. Calm down. I'll take notes.

Harry.

* * * * * *

Hermione,

Whoa. Ok. Just take a minute to breathe yeah? We wont copy you ok? Just calm down. Relax. Be cool.

Ron.

PS- You still gonna help me with Transfiguration today?

* * * * * *

Ron,

Yes I am. You are so strange. Why cross it out?

Hermione.

* * * * * *

Mione,

Dunno.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Yeah, she called you strange. Ha! Marvellous! She's almost responding to your love/hatred. Fantastic! You know... this is really quite classic. I tell you what would really set it off...if you had a HUGE row tonight. How about you try that out yeah? Great. Super.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

* * * * * *

Ron,

I'm sorry, but I forgot I had an Arithmancy evening tutorial session. I can't miss it, it's really important. Can we do the Transfiguration another day?

Love Hermione. xxx

* * * * * *

Dear Diary,

I'm not in the mood to write anything right now. Why have a diary when my life is this crappy?

Ron.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Told you so.

Yours Sincerely,

The Reality Check Corporation.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

Oh. Well... Better luck next time? You've still got... the detention?

Yours Sincerely,

The Hopeless Romantic Society.

* * * * * *

Dear Diary,

Ok. So I lied. I do feel like writing in you. Cos I'm gonna go mad if I don't tell someone. Or something. And I don't care how much of a goon I sound, because my life is so shit I don't see why I should bother trying to be anything but what I am. A total dick.

Yeah. Anyway, Hermione and me didn't stay up and do the Trans. Homework. Or anything else. Cos she had some crappy Arithmancy class to go to. A study session or something. Typical Hermione, isn't it? No, she didn't cancel on me for some cute guy, or shopping, or a girls night or whatever. No, she had an evening study session. It's almost funny. In a painful, gut wrenching kind of way. I actually care that I didn't get to spend some time alone with her. I was actually looking forward to it. As in... I wanted to spend time with her. Just to sit with her. Be with her. Just for a bit. I thought when we both became prefects, it would mean more time together, but it turns out practically all the time you're on duty, but with other prefects too. So nothing really changed. We were still never alone. And I don't know what's wrong with me, but I like it when it's just her and me. I like being alone with her. Harry's great, but Hermione's... different. I love spending time alone with her.

I love spending time with her.

I love her.

Shit.

Ron.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

We see the denial has finally disintegrated, into what appears to be a lovesick puppy attitude. Very well, although this puts a slight dampener, it does not destroy the basis of the relationship; therefore we will still be happy to include you in our archives. Not necessarily under 'Classics.' But perhaps 'Unusuals.' Or 'Miscellaneous.' Let us know your preference. However, if you continue to pick fights, cause arguments, and generally behave in a retarded manner, we would be happy to reconsider your 'Classics.' Status.

Yours Sincerely,

The Love- Hate Relationship Office.

* * * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers has brought your latest situation to our attention. We immediately felt the need to let our feelings be known to you. And they are as follows-

Hey, hey!! Nice one! You were stood up!! For a study session!! And it wasn't even a proper date!! You are once again- THE MAN! We welcome you back with open arms, oh wondrous one!! You are without a doubt, the most promising potential candidate we have had in years!! Neville Longbottom is perhaps your only rival! You keep it up Ronald, and you let us know your position on joining!!

Thank You.

Yours Sincerely,

The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else.

* * * * *

Dear Mr Weasley,

We have recently been engaged in several discussions with The Board Of Absolute Losers In Love, Life, And Pretty Much Everything Else. And guess who's name cropped up? We have only one thing to say to you Ronald.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yours Sincerely,

The Association Of Magical Teenagers.

PS- That broom cupboard starting to look pretty good now, huh?