The Moon's White Face

The Moon's White Face

By Cindale

Chapter 1

LOVE, we have dipped Life's humble bread

Into the stars' flame-bubbling springs;

We've knelt before the Moon's white face,

While around us whirred Night's purple wings.

Love, we have trod the floors of Morn,

And watched Dawn's reeling galleons die;

The sunset's panoramic hills--

Love, we have known them, you and I.

Upon the battlements of Time

We stood and heard Life's thunders roar:

A million ticking years that swelled

The crashing notes of millions more.

Our hearts have germinated sweet

To beauty through each golden hour;

But now the bloom-time days are past,

The stalk is fading with the flower.

And we shall seek earth's simple things:

A roof-tree small, a green-thatched fire--

Come, Love, and lay your cherished dreams

Beneath the touch of my desire.

We could not climb the Infinite,

The jagged heights were steep and long;

For us child-wistfulness and sleep--

Old twilight memories and song.

Love, is it here that we shall wend,

Down homelit paths, grown gently wise?

Perhaps your eyes, made glad of earth,

Shall find the Key to Paradise.

"Transformation" by J. Corson Miller

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Wednesday, 1 September 1971

11:30 AM

Well, I've done it! I'm actually on the Hogwarts Express headed to Hogwarts! I still can't believe I get to go! I couldn't wait to put on my school robes, and I can't wait to get there! Mum packed me a sandwich, but I don't feel like eating. I'm too excited!

I can't wait to learn to be a real wizard. Mum taught me a few spells at home, and I've read loads in books (and tried some of them), but now I get to learn for real. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to come. I've already read all the books we have at home. But now I'll have the whole Hogwarts library to read. Excellent!

Professor Dumbledore said he had a special place for me to go every month. He said I could sneak out on that night and that no one would ever know. He said it would be fine. But how do I really know for sure? I would be very sad if I had to go home. I hope he's right.

I hope the other kids at school like me. Renoir says I've got nothing to worry about - that everyone's nice at Hogwarts. But she's so pretty and popular - of course they're nice to her. I just look plain, and I think I might be sort of small. I haven't seen another boy who's as small as me yet. And then there's the scars. I have to be careful to hide them - good thing we wear robes!

I think the worst thing might be if I made some friends and really liked them, and then they found out and decided they hated me. That would be horrible. Maybe it would be better not to make friends at all? I don't know.

There's a few kids in the compartment with me now, but I'm not sure if I should talk to them. Two of them are girls, but they're older than me. The boy looks older than me, but I think he's a first year, too. I think the girls are his cousins and they're teasing him about what house he'll get into. They seem to think it would be terrible if he got into Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. I don't know what would be so bad about Hufflepuff. Mum and Renoir were in Hufflepuff, and I bet I'm in there, too. Ravenclaw would be okay, though - Renoir says they all study too much, but I think I'd like that.

The boy's trying to talk to me. He's being nosy - asking me what I'm writing. I guess I'll talk to him a little and write more later.

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5:15 PM

The other boy in the compartment is called Sirius Black. The girls are called Andromeda and Narcissa, and they're his cousins. Sirius reckons he'll end up in Slytherin like his parents and most of his family, but he doesn't seem all that happy about it. Andromeda is in Ravenclaw, but Sirius says he's not exactly bookish. He laughed when I said I'd probably be in Hufflepuff, which made me a little mad. What's wrong with Hufflepuff? But he said he thought I'd be in Ravenclaw because I did seem like the bookish type. The way he said it was almost an insult, like he thinks I'm boring.

We played Exploding Snap while the girls argued about boys. Andromeda says Narcissa's got a crush on the Head Boy, but Narcissa said at least he's a pure-blood, and not a Muggle-born like Andromeda's crush. Except Narcissa said, "Mudblood." My mum told me never to say that word - she says it's worse than cursing. I guess there's people at Hogwarts that don't like people just because of their parents. I wonder if some people might not like me because my dad was a Muggle? Of course, if they found out about the other thing, they wouldn't like me anyway.

The girls really got mad at each other so Sirius and I got as far away from them as possible while we played cards. I think he cheated a couple of times, but I didn't want to say anything. I don't want to make him mad at me.

Sirius ate a bunch of food from the trolley and then he got sleepy. Andromeda and Narcissa went off to find some of their friends. So it's finally quiet in here. It's starting to get dark outside and I think we must be nearly there. I wonder if I should wake Sirius up - he's not in his robes yet.

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9:23 PM

I'm lying in my huge four-poster bed with the curtains drawn and my wand lit so I can see to write. And I can't believe where I'm sleeping! I'm in Gryffindor! I never thought about being in Gryffindor. Renoir said Gryffindors were supposed to be brave, but she thought most of them were obnoxious. I wonder what she and Mum will think of this?

The Sorting Hat said it knew I was expecting Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, but that I had "depths of courage" I didn't realize, and that I really belonged in Gryffindor. I thought that was really weird - I don't feel very brave at all. I never have. I think the hat must be broken.

Sirius is in Gryffindor, too. He seemed really surprised, but happy. The other two boys who got in are called James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Peter's really shy. James was nice to me, but he doesn't like Sirius at all. They kept looking at each other at dinner, but not talking, like they were trying to figure each other out. And then when we got up here to the dormitory, James and Sirius had a big fight about who got the bed next to the window. They were hitting each other when the prefect came in and told them off. As soon as the prefect left, Sirius shoved James so hard he flew halfway across the room and jumped on the bed and did some sort of charm so James couldn't get through the curtains. James cursed at him a lot and then found another bed. I got into bed as quickly as I could after that. I don't ever want either of them to ge! t mad at me - they can be mean. Peter looked really scared, and I felt a little sorry for him. I wonder if he wonders why he's in Gryffindor, like me?

I hope Sirius and James don't fight all year. Maybe I can just hang out with Peter and stay away from them.

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Thursday, 2 September 1971

9:23 PM

So much happened today that I don't know what to write about first!

I guess I'll start with my classes. I only had Herbology and Transfiguration today. First years get to start classes late on Thursday mornings because of Astronomy at Midnight on Wednesdays. And flying lessons don't start until next week.

Anyway, Herbology was fun. I think I like Professor Sprout. Sprout - what a funny name for someone who works with plants! But I guess I'm not one to talk since Lupin is a good name for me (I wish it wasn't!). I like working with plants, so I think I'll like Herbology.

I think Transfiguration might be hard, though. Professor McGonagall seems very strict. She really yelled at James for talking during class. I finally got my match to turn into a needle, but it took me the whole class, and it was still a little red on one end. James got his to turn on the first try, which made Sirius really mad.

I guess I should talk about Sirius and James. Sirius woke me and Peter up this morning banging on his trunk. I guess James put a locking charm on it so he couldn't open it. He was really mad. He had to have a prefect help him open it. James had already gone to breakfast, which is a good thing, because I think Sirius would have hurt him. I think it was mean of James, but I guess he was still mad about the beds last night. Sirius says he's going to get James back, and I'm sure he will.

I was hoping to sit with Peter in Herbology, but Sirius got there before him. I guess Sirius is okay - he's nice enough to me - but it was a little boring to hear him talking about his revenge on James the whole class. I sat with Peter at lunch, though, and the first year girls sat near us. I guess they seem nice enough, but they're kind of giggly. The one called Kinesha Shacklebolt sat closest to me. She says her brother's a Slytherin prefect and everyone's afraid of him.

Tomorrow I have Potions. Monday I have a lot more classes. But I wonder if I'll get to go to class Monday. I don't want to miss Defence Against the Dark Arts. I'm getting worried - I need to figure out what I'm going to tell my roommates when I have to leave Saturday. Mum said I should tell them she's sick and I need to visit her, but I don't want the other boys to think I'm homesick on the first weekend of school. Maybe I can think of something else.

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Friday, 3 September 1971

9:03 PM

Well, I did it. I told the other boys a story about the weekend, and they believed me without even asking any questions. It's weird - I know lying is supposed to be wrong, but the grown-ups all said to do it - Dumbledore, McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, and Mum all said it was okay, so it must be. But I still feel a little guilty about it. Maybe not because lying is wrong, but because I thought trust was supposed to be part of friendship. Well, it would be a lot worse if they knew the truth.

Anyway, it's odd how it happened. I got an owl from Mum today at breakfast, and I guess I must have frowned a little when I read it, because James asked me what was wrong. I started to say nothing, but then I thought how easy it would be to make something up. I told him my grandmother died, which is true, but she died six months ago. Mum mentioned her in the letter, which is probably what made me think of it. But I told James that I needed to go away for the weekend, and he thought I had to go to the funeral. I felt a little weird when he said he was sorry and started telling the girls about it. One of them hugged me - her name is Lily Evans.

So now I don't have to worry about the weekend. I told them I have to leave Saturday afternoon and I'm not sure when I'll be back. Of course, I don't have any more grandmothers, so I can't use this story every month. I'll have to think of something else next month.

Sirius got his revenge on James today. We've all just been wearing underwear under our robes because it's still a bit hot. Sirius put a spell on James's robes in the Great Hall at lunch and they flew up over his head. Everybody saw James in his underwear! It was actually kind of funny, but James was really mad. By the time he got his robes to stay down, Sirius had run away and hid. But McGonagall found him and gave him detention. Sirius says it was worth it, but I would hate to get detention. Now James is the one talking about revenge. I wish they would just stop.

I only had double Potions today. I'm afraid Potions is going to be very hard, but Professor Biber seems nice enough. We all had the afternoon off, and James and Peter tried to get me to go outside with them (Sirius had his detention). But I worked on my Transfiguration and Herbology homework since I won't be able to over the weekend.

I guess I won't be writing again for awhile. Hopefully I can write Monday.

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Monday, 6 September 1971

6:34 PM

I spent Saturday night in my secret place and Sunday night in the hospital wing. I didn't get to go to classes today. I really had a bad time this month, probably because I was in a strange place. It's a good thing Madam Pomfrey was around. I really missed Mum, but Madam Pomfrey is much better at healing. Mum really wanted to come for the first one, but Dumbledore said no, that it would "draw attention" to me.

Saturday, as soon as it was dark outside, Madam Pomfrey met me by the gamekeeper's hut. I thought it was odd that she was carrying a long stick instead of her wand until I saw the tree. She poked a spot on the tree with the stick and it stopped moving.

Okay - that sounded odd because I haven't written about the tree yet. It was planted just a few weeks ago, but it's already twice as tall as Madam Pomfrey. It waves its branches around like it's trying to hit someone. It's kind of scary. Madam Pomfrey called it the Whomping Willow and said it was planted to keep people away from the tunnel. She looked scared and sad when she told me this. I wondered if she was imagining other kids being hurt by the tree. But I guess that's better than them being hurt by me.

We climbed into a damp, dark tunnel that started under the tree. We had to duck down to walk through it, and Madam Pomfrey had to light her wand so we could see. I had left mine in the dormitory for safekeeping.

After what seemed like a long walk, the tunnel sloped upward and we went through a trap door. We were inside a house! I had expected a cave or something. But it was a regular house, with furniture and everything. It looked pretty normal, except the windows were all blocked. Madam Pomfrey said there was a bed upstairs that I could lie in if I wanted to. She explained that all the doors and windows were magically sealed so that no one could get in or out, and that she would seal the trap door when she left.

She looked really sad then, and I thought for a minute she might cry. But she turned and climbed through the trapdoor quickly, leaving me alone. I recognized that look - it was the same one Mum gave me every month, except she always hugged me before she left. I tried really hard not to cry, but I think I did anyway.

I don't remember much after that. I went upstairs, undressed, and got into bed to wait for the moon to rise. I remember thinking that I had never had someplace so comfortable to change before, but I still wished I was back in my tiny metal storage shed in the back of the garden with Mum waiting outside.

The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital wing. I felt like I was floating and didn't hurt at all. It was really nice, except I couldn't move. That scared me a little, but Madam Pomfrey said it was just the healing spells. She seemed really relieved that I was awake. She said it was Sunday night! Wow! I had slept a whole day! I asked her if I could go to classes the next day and she said, "Certainly not!" I remember those were her exact words.

So I had to miss four classes today! Madam Pomfrey finally let me leave during dinner tonight, which was good, because I got to sneak up to the dormitory while everyone was gone. Madam Pomfrey healed most of my scratches and bruises, but there's a really deep cut on my leg that still hurts a lot and makes me want to limp.

I'm really tired and my whole body is sore, but I should feel better tomorrow. I've got to stay awake and ask one of the other boys for the assignments I missed. I hope I can get some of my homework done tonight.

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Tuesday, 7 September 1971

7:53 PM

I got to go to classes today. A few people asked me how the funeral was, but didn't ask more when I said okay. I was really scared someone would ask me a lot of questions.

My leg is still sore, but I tried really hard not to limp. Lily noticed anyway. She sat by me in Astronomy and asked me what was wrong with my leg. I told her I twisted my ankle over the weekend. Then she asked me how the funeral went, and I started to feel bad about lying to her. She acts like she really wants to know when she asks questions, and she's really nice. I was glad when Professor Carme started class.

I think Astronomy is going to be fun, maybe my favourite class. We get to learn all the names of the planets and constellations and what they mean. I can't wait to go tomorrow night and look at the stars from the Astronomy Tower. I've tried looking through my telescope before, but never from up that high.

Got a letter from Mum today. She was trying not to sound sad, but I know she didn't like it that she missed my change. I owled her yesterday to let her know I was fine so she wouldn't worry. Mum says she's proud of me for being so brave, and she can see why I got into Gryffindor. It makes me feel bad when she says I'm brave. I'm not brave at all. I cry every month and all I can think about is that Dad is dead and it's my fault.

Well, I'd better quit writing for now. I've got tons of homework since I missed a day of classes, and I'm still really tired.

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Wednesday, 8 September 1971

11:24 PM

Now that I've been to all my classes, I think Defence Against the Dark Arts is definitely going to be my favourite class. Professor Armstrong is really good at telling stories, and it sounds like she's got a lot to tell. She's really old. Sirius said she used to be an Auror. Today she told us a cool story about how she stopped a vampire by using a mirror to reflect sunlight.

The Charms teacher, Professor Flitwick, is really tiny - he has to stand on a stack of books to teach. I wonder if he's part elf or something. Lily was the first one to get her feather to float. I finally did it about half through class, and Peter never did it. James and Sirius kept watching each other to see who would do it first.

James got his revenge for the underwear prank tonight after dinner. It was actually pretty funny. A book started floating in the air beside Sirius's head while he was trying to study. When he saw it he got up and tried to walk away from it, but it followed him all over the common room. The other kids really laughed when they read the title: Why Am I So Moody? The Adolescent Witch's Guide to the Changes in Her Body by P. M. Simms. Sirius finally caught it and sat on it so it would stop. Then he asked James why he had a book about witches loudly enough for everyone to hear, which made James turn red and everyone else laugh. I think James found the book in the library just to annoy Sirius, though.

I've got to go to Astronomy in a few minutes, so I'd better get my telescope!

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Thursday, 9 September 1971

7:52 PM

Today was our first flying lesson. I think I did okay - it was rather fun once I got the hang of it. James and Sirius both fly very well. Sirius bragged that he's had his own broom since he was six, and James bragged that he's going to try out for Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Sirius laughed and said he'd never make the team. He said they never put first years on the team, and they never will. James said that's going to change. Lily finally yelled at them both to shut up, but I think she was just mad because she was having trouble balancing on her broom. Peter never got off the ground, but Mr. Mewford told him to keep trying. He seems really nice.

Sirius wants to borrow my History notes. I really shouldn't let him - he should have taken his own, but he was too busy charming parchment balls to hit James on the head. But I don't want him mad at me, so I'd better get them.

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Saturday, 11 September 1971

3:04 PM

I hate Sirius Black! He ruined my Potions essay, and now I have to start over! This fighting with James all the time is getting really stupid! They're both stupid!

I was sitting in the common room with James and Peter working on my essay when a water balloon hit James's parchment and exploded all over the table. Before we had time to move, another one hit James between the eyes, and he was soaked.

A fifth year prefect called Ajit Patil told Sirius he would get detention if he threw any more water balloons, and he'd better clean up right away. Sirius said he didn't know a drying charm so James ran upstairs to change.

Lily tried a drying charm on my parchment, and it worked, but the ink had smeared too much, so I still have to do it over. Then she started yelling at Sirius and he said, "Who do you think you are - you Mu-" He stopped himself before he called her a Mudblood, but Lily must have known what he was going to say because she threw her quill at him and ran upstairs. The quill poked Sirius in the arm and I was glad. I hope it hurt! He tried to talk to me, but I just came upstairs. I'll never forgive him for ruining my essay and insulting Lily.