Searching for Dawn

Searching for Dawn

Chapter 6

"Surprises"

The weeks of September rolled by, and Harry spent most of the time in his flat watching countless movies and surfing endlessly on the internet. He met with both Dr. Wilson and Professor Snape twice each week, and occasionally joined Remus for a meal at Hogwarts. He didn't see much of Ron and Hermione since they were so busy with classes, studying, and each other.

He had become a regular at the Weasley Family Sunday dinners. Each week, he looked forward to the loud, obnoxious fun. When he Apparated to the front door of the Burrow one Sunday in late September, however, he wondered if he had the wrong day. The house appeared to be deserted; there were no lights in the windows and all was deathly silent.

He knocked on the door, waited, and was about to try the back when the door opened abruptly. Multiple voices shouted "SURPRISE!" from inside as the lights came on. Hermione pulled him inside and into a massive hug, as he stared in shock at the beaming faces around him and the banner suspended from the staircase that read, "Happy Birthday Harry!"

"B-but my birthday's in July!" he stammered, trying not to grin like an idiot. The crowd dissolved into laughter.

"We know that, mate," said Ron, "but we missed the last two, and we figured you'd probably never had a birthday party before. Hope you don't mind us temporarily moving your birthday to September."

Harry laughed and felt his eyes growing damp. "You guys are great! I don't know what to say! Thank you!" Amid the applause that followed, he began hugging everyone in sight.

*********************************************

Later, after Harry opened his pile of gifts and they all devoured huge pieces of cake, Arthur Weasley managed to corner Remus and Susan out in the garden. "Did I see you two arrive in a new car?"

Remus smiled at him; he had heard about the Ford Anglia. "Yes, and it's a Ford. Care to see it?" Arthur nodded so fast Remus thought his head might fall off.

Susan shook her head at the two of them and said, "Remus, you don't mind if I go see what Tom and Lou are doing, do you? Only two will fit in the car, anyway." She smiled at Arthur, gave Remus a soft kiss on the lips, and walked off.

"She seems great, Remus."

"She is," Remus agreed as he watched her walk away.

"Don't let her get away, mate."

Remus felt slightly troubled at this, but only said, "Come on - let's go look at the Streetka."

They walked though the burrow to the front garden and approached the shiny red car.

"Does it fly?" Arthur asked.

"No, of course not."

"I could help you out with that, you know. Of course, my invisibility spell needs work, but ..."

"Wait a minute," Remus interrupted, "the Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department is suggesting ..."

"No, your friend Arthur Weasley is suggesting. He doesn't know that other bloke today." They both laughed, and eagerly jumped into the new car.

****************************************

It was almost impossible to completely evade Ginny since he had so much contact with the Weasleys, but Harry had been able to avoid being alone with her since the wedding. However, now that he had finally found the courage to apologize, he couldn't catch her alone. Neville never left her side. As he watched them from across the room, Neville whispered something in Ginny's ear, and she laughed up at him. Harry felt his stomach clench. He wondered why he cared who Ginny was laughing with, but rationalized that it must be because he wanted to talk to her.

When Neville finally walked away from Ginny, Harry grabbed the opportunity. He sidled over to the red head and murmured, "Ginny, can I talk to you for a moment?" Ginny looked at him for a moment, as if trying to decide something, and then led him upstairs to her room. She closed the door and turned to face him. The look in her eyes was unreadable, but not encouraging.

Harry took a deep breath. "Ginny, I am so sorry for the way I acted at the wedding. I had no right to treat you like that. Please forgive me." He paused for a moment and gathered his courage. "I-I have something for you." He handed her the slim case he was carrying.

She took the case and looked at her shoes. "It's ok, Harry. You were drunk."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "That's no excuse. I shouldn't have been drunk in the first place."

Ginny shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention to the case. Harry stopped her as she started to unzip it. "Wait - lay it down first."

Harry felt relieved as he watched her eyes drop their guard and widen in intrigue. She laid the case on the bed and unzipped it carefully, eventually pulling out a slim but heavy item. She pried the halves apart and stared. "Harry," she gasped.

"It's a laptop computer," he explained. "I decided to get a new one, and wondered if you might like to have this one."

"Harry, I can't accept this." He was fascinated by the bounce of her crimson hair as she shook her head in dissent.

"Please, Ginny," he begged, taking a step toward her. "I wanted you to know how sorry I am, and I want to be friends. It would be so nice to have someone to email. And I certainly don't need two computers." He fought the temptation to touch her hair, wondering why he had never noticed it before.

"But how will I hook it up?"

"Do you have electricity and phone lines in your new flat?"

"I think so - it's a Muggle flat."

"It's easy - I'll show you later."

"Thanks, Harry. I really like my computer class - it will be fun to try it at home." Harry relaxed as Ginny smiled her acceptance. She turned around suddenly and opened the closet door. "I've got a birthday gift for you, Harry. I was going to wait until most everyone left - I didn't think you'd want to open it in front of everyone." Harry gasped when she turned around. She was holding a small cage that contained a snake. "I-I know you have Hedwig," she said hesitantly, "but I thought you might like a pet you could talk to."

Harry didn't know what to say. He was certainly glad she had chosen to give this to him privately. Most people considered the ability to talk to snakes to be a Dark Art. He finally stammered, "D-don't you think that Parseltongue is evil?"

Ginny looked into his eyes and shook her head. "No, I don't," she said firmly. "It's just a gift, a talent - like being good at Quidditch or music or something. But I know it makes other people uncomfortable, so I wanted to give it to you privately." She held the cage out to him, took a deep breath, and said, "Harry, being able to talk to snakes is part of who you are - it's nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. And I know you live alone - I thought you might get lonely sometimes."

Harry suddenly realized she lived alone, and wondered if she felt lonely sometimes, but he shoved those thoughts aside; she had Neville, after all. He took the cage and focused his attention on the snake. It was a nice-looking snake, with black, white, and red stripes from its head to its tail. He turned the cage so he could look it in the eye and said, "Hello. I really like your markings. What kind of snake are you?"

"I am a Sonora Mountain kingsnake from North America," the snake said in a sibilant whisper.

"Do you have a name?"

"I am usually called Sonora. Are you my master now?"

Harry smiled. "Yes - I'd like to be."

The snake stared at him for a moment, and then inclined its head regally. "You may name me, then."

"If it's ok with you, I'll just continue to call you Sonora."

"That is acceptable. I am accustomed to that name."

Harry frowned a bit, then asked, "Er ... what do you think of owls?"

A knock on the door startled him. "Ginny, are you in there?" asked Neville.

"Yeah! Come in!"

Neville poked his head around the door, and then entered the room. He looked around, his eyes narrowing slightly as they rested on Harry. Harry felt irritated, especially when he noticed the slightly guilty look on Ginny's face. What's wrong with Ginny and I having a private conversation? We're practically brother and sister, for heaven's sakes!

"Ah, I see you gave Harry the snake." It annoyed Harry that Neville knew about the snake; the feeling of intimacy that Ginny's gift had created was ruined.

"Yes," Ginny answered a little too brightly, "and look what Harry gave me!"

Harry tried to slip out of the room as Ginny showed Neville the computer, but she stopped him. "Harry, can you come over later and show me how to hook this up?"

"Er ... yeah ... just let me know when." He forced a smile in her direction and escaped.

****************************************

A few days later, Ginny found herself pacing her flat, unable to sleep. She finally landed on the chair in front of the computer, flipped it on, and logged onto the internet. She was idly wondering why she felt disappointed that there was no e-mail from Harry, when a chime made her jump. A small window popped up in the middle of her computer screen that read, "You have an instant message from MagicMan. Do you want to accept the message?"

Ginny hesitated. Was this a different kind of e-mail? She knew "MagicMan" was part of Harry's e-mail address, so she clicked "accept". The window disappeared, and another window appeared with Harry's message, "Hey, Ginny, it's Harry."

Ginny stared at the screen for a moment then looked nervously behind her. Could he see her? She started as the chime sounded again.

Another message appeared, "Ginny, are you there? Just type in what you want to say and click send."

Ginny typed, "Hi Harry. It's Ginny. Are you on the Internet right now?" She clicked the "send" button, watched her message appear under Harry's, and then waited for the chime to sound again.

"Yeah. Isn't this cool? I've never tried it before." Before Ginny could answer, another message appeared. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

Ginny smiled and narrowed her eyes. "I could ask you the same question."

"Yes, but I asked first."

Ginny had had a nightmare at Neville's and it had caused a bit of an argument between them. For some reason, she didn't want to tell Harry she had been with Neville. She typed slowly, choosing her words carefully. "I was watching a movie and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I didn't feel like going back to sleep."

"I didn't think you had a television?"

Now Ginny felt trapped, but she didn't know why. Her previous message had been truthful, and Harry knew she and Neville were dating, after all. She typed, "I was at Neville's." and defiantly hit "send".

"Oh. What movie?"

"The Matrix"

"You fell asleep during The Matrix???? Didn't you like it?"

Ginny felt embarrassed, as Harry had recommended the movie, but she decided to be honest. "Sorry, not really. Neville thought the fighting was cool, but I got bored with it."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who told you to watch it. I thought you might like it because of the computer stuff."

"Maybe it's more of a bloke thing???"

"Yeah! (I'm laughing)" Ginny laughed along with Harry. It felt weird laughing with a computer.

"Ok, so what are you doing up? I told you." She waited for his response, but after a few minutes nothing was forthcoming. Finally, she typed another message, "Harry? Are you still there?"

"I had a nightmare."

Ginny wasn't surprised Harry had nightmares, considering all he had been through, but she was surprised he admitted it to her. She was so used to hiding her nightmares from everyone. She wondered if she could ask him for details without sounding nosy. She finally typed, "What was the dream about?" It was easier to ask personal questions when you didn't have to look the person in the eye.

Harry's answer came back right away, "Cedric."

Ginny breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn't angry. "Do you have a lot of nightmares about that?"

"Sometimes about Sirius, sometimes about Hagrid. A lot about Voldemort."

Suddenly Ginny felt a lot better about her own nightmares; they couldn't be as bad as Harry's. "I'm sorry. Nightmares are a pain."

"You have them too?"

She hesitated before answering. "Yes. I had one tonight. That's why I came home."

"What are yours about?"

Ginny bit her lip, and stared at the keys for awhile before typing, "You know - same as you - the War and stuff." She waited a beat before clicking "send". It wasn't exactly a lie, she did dream about the War occasionally.

"Have you found anything that helps?" Harry asked. Ginny was relieved that he didn't ask for details about her dreams.

"Only the Dreamless Sleep draught," she typed, "but I don't like to take it because it makes me groggy at work. Have you?"

"Mine have been a little better since I've been going to counseling. Maybe it helps to talk about it?"

She was surprised; Harry had always been so reluctant to ask for help. She was very curious about the counseling. "What do you mean by better?"

"Less frequent and not quite so intense. Maybe you should talk to someone about your nightmares. It might help."

Ginny felt the panicky sensation returning to her stomach. "Maybe. Listen, I should probably get off - I have to work tomorrow."

"Ok. Bye!"

Ginny's panic subsided as soon as she turned off the computer and went to bed. She immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

A few miles away, Harry turned off his computer, wondering why he had felt comfortable telling Ginny about his nightmares. He too went to bed, and had his best night's sleep in years.

****************************************

Harry pulled up to Ron and Hermione's flat as dusk fell. A flash of red hair appeared briefly at the window, and he had barely reached out to knock when the door opened, revealing an excited, freckled face. "So ... do I get a go on it?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, but be careful - the flying mechanism has been acting up. Do you think your dad would have a look at it?"

"Yeah - bring it Sunday." Ron stepped out of the flat and pulled the door closed behind him. "Listen, mate, don't mention anything about flying around Hermione, ok?"

"You got it mate." He gave Ron a slap on the shoulder and laughed softly as he watched his friend run eagerly towards the bike. He let himself into the flat and went to greet Hermione, who was hard at work in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove that looked and smelled disgusting. He dropped a kiss on her cheek and said, "Er ... Hermione ... it ... er ... looks ... delicious."

Hermione only laughed in response. Harry was struck by the sheer happiness of it, and wondered how he had survived so long without hearing it.

"No, it doesn't!" she said. "Don't worry - this isn't dinner. It's Wolfsbane potion. Remus agreed to let me try it on him. He's going to stop by after dinner and take it." She stopped stirring and looked at him. "Ron's Apparating down to the Chinese restaurant for dinner."

"Er ... I think he took the motorcycle."

Hermione gave Harry a disapproving look and turned her attention back to the potion. "Did you bring that contraption? Ron had better not be flying on it. He might be seen - this is a Muggle neighborhood."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Er ... I'm sure he wouldn't do anything you wouldn't like."

Hermione laughed again. "Yes, he would. But then he'll try to make sure I don't find out." Harry noticed she didn't sound angry, only amused. "Hey, Harry, do you mind grabbing some plates and forks? I can't leave this right now."

Just as Harry finished setting the table, Ron walked in with an enormous white sack, beaming. He cornered Harry and whispered, "That was brilliant!" Then his nose wrinkled. "Hermione!" he shouted, setting the sack on the table. "Could you please put a containment spell around that potion? It smells awful!"

"I'm almost done," she said, still stirring. "How was your flight?"

"It was brilliant, honey! You should try ... I mean ... what are you talking about?"

Hermione stopped stirring, cast a charm on the bubbling cauldron, and turned to face Ron. "You flew that motorcycle?" she asked with a severe expression. "How many Muggles saw you?"

"None!" Ron protested. "It was dark, and I didn't turn on the headlamp." He crossed the room and took her into his arms, but she stiffened against him. "Honey, don't be mad at me ... please?" He ducked his head to kiss her neck until she relaxed in his arms.

Harry's stomach clenched and he turned away from the scene. He pretended to look with interest in the bags of food. "So ... we're having Chinese for dinner?"

Ron let go of Hermione and turned to Harry. "Yeah," he laughed, "Hermione's a hopeless cook." He began unloading the sack.

Harry looked nervously at Hermione; there weren't many things she couldn't do, and she certainly wouldn't like Ron laughing about one of them. But when she turned from the stove, her face only registered amusement. "He's right," she agreed, "I hope you don't mind take out."

Harry shook his head. It was difficult enough to believe that Hermione wasn't capable of something, but it was incomprehensible that she didn't care. "But, you're studying to become a Potions Master! How can you cook potions and not food?"

"Scary, isn't it," Ron said with an exaggerated shake of his head. "Poor Remus probably only has a few hours left to live."

Hermione wadded up a scrap of parchment and threw it at Ron. "Potion brewing and cooking are two different things! Potion brewing is an exact science that requires precision and concentration. Cooking is more of an art form - nothing is exact! A bit of this and a pinch of that - and nothing has an exact cooking time. It drives me crazy - I just can't do it."

Harry nodded, a little bewildered by her explanation, and sat down to eat.

They loaded their plates with Sweet and Sour Pork and Kung Pao Chicken and ate in engrossed silence for a few minutes. After he'd picked his first plate clean, Ron asked, "So Harry, you own 12 Grimmauld Place now?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to keep it?"

Harry saw a sudden movement under the table, and assumed that Hermione had kicked Ron since she was shooting him a nasty look. "What?" Ron asked.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's ok, Hermione. You don't have to treat me like I'll break." He turned to Ron. "I don't know. Maybe I'll feel like I can live in it someday. Right now I'm having it cleaned - you should see the place - you wouldn't recognize it. Dobby's doing ..." He was interrupted by the clatter of Hermione's fork.

"You have a house-elf, Harry?" she asked in a squeaky voice.

Harry laughed. Hermione was obviously still campaigning for elf rights. "Don't worry, I'm paying them."

"Them? How much?"

"As much as they'll take, which isn't much. Dobby and Winky are doing most of the work. They've got some kind of arrangement with each other - I guess you'd say they're married, but they don't call it that. She's mellowed out a lot since we knew her at Hogwarts."

They spent the rest of dinner talking about Ron's and Hermione's studies. Ron seemed surprised that Harry wasn't interested in becoming an Auror anymore, but Harry explained that he had seen enough darkness for a lifetime, and Ron couldn't argue with that.

During pudding, Harry heard a familiar voice inside his head. His eyes must have glazed over as he concentrated, because Ron sounded alarmed when he said, "Harry! Are you ok, mate?"

Harry shut off the voice and focused on his friends. "Yes, it's just Snape. Can I go in the other room for a minute so I can concentrate?" He got up before they could answer, ignoring their stunned looks, went into the bedroom, and shut the door.

Harry sat on the bed, shut his eyes, and focused on Snape, reaching his mind toward Hogwarts. After a moment, he heard Snape's voice clearly, "Potter! I don't have all day."

Harry focused on the words, "Sorry, I'm at Ron and Hermione's. I couldn't concentrate with them in the room."

Harry distinctly heard the words, "I hate social gatherings," but they were quiet, as if Snape hadn't meant for Harry to hear. He laughed to himself, thinking that if Snape would only wash his hair, he might actually have a social life.

"I heard that, Potter!"

Harry was alarmed. "I'm sorry, Professor - I didn't mean for you to ..."

"I'll have you know, Potter, that I wash my hair daily. I use a potion to slick it back so it will stay out of my way."

"But why do you let people think ..."

"Potter! I didn't summon you to talk about my personal hygiene! I have to cancel your Monday lesson because of a detention. Can you come Tuesday?"

Harry arranged the next lesson time with Snape and went back into the kitchen. Remus sat at the table with Ron, glaring at a frothing goblet. Ron looked up as Harry entered. "You can communicate telepathically with Snape?"

"Yeah." Harry shrugged, assuming Remus had explained. "I guess it's a side effect of all that training I've had with him."

Ron pulled a face uglier than the look Remus was giving his potion. "Snape, of all people. Why couldn't it have been me? Or Remus? Or some attractive blonde?"

"So now you prefer blondes?" Hermione asked from the kitchen.

"Of course not, dear, only my brown-haired angel," Ron said, rolling his eyes.

Remus snorted, and Harry couldn't help grinning. "Newlyweds," Remus muttered.

"Oh, like you never talk to Susan like that," Harry teased. Much to his surprise, Remus blushed and looked uncomfortable. He wondered if something was wrong between them, but didn't feel comfortable asking.

Remus cleared his throat and said, "Well, here it goes." He picked up the goblet and took a large swallow. His eyes widened and he gasped.

"What's wrong?" Hermione cried in alarm.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. The consistency is correct, but the taste is wrong. Maybe you can try again next month."

"But I followed the directions exactly! I know it's right." Hermione looked as if she were close to tears. "Can you tell me the difference in taste?"

"Well, this actually tastes good. It's sweet, as if you put sugar in it."

"Of course I did. The recipe warned that although not necessary, the potion would be difficult to swallow without it."

Harry watched Remus's expression change from puzzled to comprehension to anger. "I'm going to kill him!" he said in an angry but controlled voice. He then proceeded to use some vocabulary that made even Ron look shocked.

Harry realized what he meant. "Snape's the one who told you sugar made it useless, isn't he?"

Hermione's mouth was opened in astonishment, probably at the language she wasn't used to hearing from their former teacher. She finally managed, "Snape told you that?" She shook herself out of her shock, grabbed the book from the counter, and plunked it down in front of Remus.

Remus shook his head as he read the recipe. "I can't believe this! The transformations are bad enough, and I've been struggling to keep from vomiting for a week every month ..."

"Well, I can't guarantee you won't vomit," Hermione broke in. "The book clearly states that the potion will likely make you feel nauseated."

Remus relaxed a little and shook his head. "Snape. Well, this beats all the pranks we ever played on him in school. This is the ultimate prank." He raised the goblet, "Here's to Snape," he toasted the air and drained the goblet in three gulps.

"Well," Remus said, setting the goblet down with a flourish, "you don't know how much I appreciate this, Hermione. It's been very illuminating." He rose from the table. "Sorry to run, but Sheila's home for the weekend, and she and Susan are supposed to teach me some Muggle games."

"Wait a minute." Ron jumped up from his seat, ran to the bedroom, and came back holding a deck of cards. "Here - teach them to play Exploding Snap. That should be fun."

Remus laughed softly, took the cards, and Disapparated with a crack.

Ron cleaned up the dinner dishes with a wave of his wand, and the three friends settled down on the sofa to watch a movie. Harry had insisted on bringing Jurassic Park when he heard they had a television and video player. He knew Ron would enjoy it, but wasn't sure about Hermione's reaction.

Predictably, when the movie had reached its midpoint, Hermione stood and stretched. "I'm really tired," she gasped through a yawn. "I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight you two." She gave them each a kiss, Harry's on the cheek and Ron's on the lips.

After the bedroom door clicked shut, Ron gave Harry a mischievous look and whispered. "Now that she's gone..." He pulled a bottle of Firewhiskey from behind the sofa. Harry raised his eyebrows and took the offered bottle.

An hour later, the movie was forgotten and the two men were laughing hysterically at reminiscences from their Hogwarts days.

"Remember when Hermione's Polyjuice turned her into a cat?" said Ron. Harry had started taking a drink from the bottle, and spit it out, choking, as he was overcome by mirth. He fell back onto the sofa, arms and legs sprawled. Ron was doubled over with laughter, but wasn't sure if it was caused by the memory or by Harry's drunken antics.

Harry finally managed to sputter, "Remember when Fred and George turned the entrance hall into a swamp ..."

"... and Peeves saluted them as they left?"

"I'll never forget the look on Umbridge's face - priceless!" This time Harry rolled off the sofa, hitting his head on the coffee table, but only laughed as he clutched his forehead. Ron supposed the alcohol was acting as an anesthetic by this time.

"Oh ... oh ... oh ..." Harry gasped from the floor. "Four words: Malfoy the bouncing ferret!"

This time Ron fell off the sofa, rolling on the floor. He laughed until his stomach ached. He sputtered and gasped, and finally managed to say, "Remember when Fred and George tried to enter the Triwizard Tournament..."

"...and sprouted identical beards?" Harry finished. This sent Ron back into uncontrollable laughter, but not Harry. He continued, "And then my name came out of the goblet." Ron's laughter died as he watched the expression in Harry's eyes change to resentment. "And the spotlight was on me again, and my picture was all over the paper. And you hated it that I was getting all the attention, that the Famous Harry Potter was in the limelight again. You hated it because you wanted it for yourself..."

Ron watched in amazement as Harry's lips twisted with anger and he clutched the bottle tighter to his side. He couldn't deny Harry's words; in fact, he couldn't seem to speak at all.

Harry studied the Firewhiskey bottle and continued, "You know, it's really ironic that you were jealous of me. You had everything I ever wanted. I always wanted to be normal - just another kid, but I couldn't. My family was dead, but you had wonderful parents and sibs who loved you. And the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world you took from me."

Ron felt the blood drain out of his face. Harry had never talked like this before. How could Harry, with all his fame, fortune, and women falling at his feet be jealous of him? He stammered, "What ... what did I take from you, Harry?"

Harry lifted his eyes from the Firewhiskey bottle and said coldly, "Hermione. You married Hermione."

Ron couldn't believe his ears; he must have heard incorrectly. He shook his head, trying to clear it. "You're ... in love ... with Hermione?"

Harry stared frigidly at Ron, his eyes unrecognizable. Ron caught his breath at the depth of anger Harry radiated. "Yeah, Weasley. I'm in love with your wife. What do you think of that?"

"How long?" Ron was starting to feel dizzy; this couldn't be true! He wanted to look away, but his eyes were riveted to Harry's.

Harry shrugged and sneered. "I don't know - years. I didn't realize it until that horrible seventh year when we were sinking deeper and deeper into the Dark Arts." Harry finally looked away. "I decided I'd better not say anything to her until after my confrontation with Voldemort - I mean, what if I didn't survive? But then, after three years of pining, YOU finally asked her out."

Ron was silent for a long time. He was glad Hermione was asleep; he couldn't bear for her to know. It would hurt her to know she was a source of pain to Harry. But there was another reason he didn't want her to know, a nagging doubt ... but no, he couldn't think about that.

Finally, he broke the silence. "Harry, is that why you left - because of me and Hermione?" He was glad Harry was examining his hands so he didn't have to look into those cold eyes; they made him feel as if he couldn't breathe.

Harry laughed a nasty laugh that didn't sound like him at all. "No, I never thought it would last between you two - you always argued so much. I just knew that eventually she would realize it was really me she loved. But you made sure she didn't have a chance, didn't you? You two - you're so sickly sweet - I almost miss the fighting!" Harry slowly pushed himself up from the floor, rising to his feet a bit unsteadily.

Ron suddenly realized the volume of alcohol Harry had consumed; the bottle he was still holding was empty. The thought oddly comforted him; surely Harry didn't mean what he was saying. He rose and looked Harry in the eye. "You're drunk. It's time for you to go home."

"You want to hit me, don't you Weasley?"

Ron winced at the use of his last name. He felt his anger mounting despite his friend's inebriated state. "You're drunk Harry. You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do. I should have said it a long time ago." He took a staggering step toward Ron. "If you're not going to hit me, I'll have to hit you, Weasley." He swung his fist in a wild arc. Ron sidestepped easily and watched Harry tumble to the floor with a crash.

"Harry? Harry?" Ron prodded Harry with his foot. Harry groaned, but did not move. Ron slumped onto the sofa in frustration. Harry couldn't go home if he was unconscious, but Ron couldn't let him spend the night after ...

He dragged himself to his feet, staggered to the telephone, and dialed the number for Susan Chandler's flat. After a brief conversation, Ron paced the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. Of course, the living room was so tiny that it only took three steps to cross. But he kept walking, trying to burn off his anger, and pointedly ignoring the prone shape on the floor.

After a few agonizing minutes, Remus Apparated into the room. "What happened?"

"He got drunk and passed out." Ron sighed at Remus's skeptical look and said, "Ok, we got into an argument and he tried to hit me. I think he knocked himself out when he fell. I swear I didn't hit him."

Remus grimaced. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. He can be pretty ... interesting when he's been drinking."

"No kidding."

Remus rolled Harry onto his back, and seemed to be checking his vital signs. When he finished, he turned to Ron his eyes narrowed in concern. "He didn't hurt either of you, did he?"

"No. Hermione was in bed."

"What did he say to you?"

Ron shook his head and looked down. He didn't want to repeat it; it was too awful ...

"Ron?"

Ron stared at Remus for a moment, and then looked at Harry. "I don't know what happened. One minute we were laughing, reliving old times. The next he was telling me how jealous he was and he was so angry ..." He broke off, unable to continue.

"Was it about Hermione?"

Ron looked at Remus with wide eyes. "How did you ..."

Remus waved an impatient hand. "Don't take it to heart, Ron. I'm sure when Harry wakes up he'll regret all of this. I hope you can forget it ever happened."

Ron stared into Remus's eyes, as if searching for answers. "Is it true? Does he love her?"

Remus sighed and looked at Harry. "He seems to think so. But I'm not sure he really understands the meaning of love. Please be patient with him, Ron. He really needs his friends."

Ron shrugged. "Maybe. But I can't have him here tonight. Do you think you can get him home on the motorcycle if we enervate him?"

After Remus left with Harry, Ron silently changed and got into bed, being careful not to wake Hermione. But his whirling thoughts kept him awake until dawn. What if Hermione had known? What if she had had the choice? Surely she would have chosen Harry - who wouldn't? What if she changed her mind, now?

If Ron hadn't been so occupied with his own bitter musings, he might have noticed that the woman next to him was silently crying into her pillow.

****************************************

Remus woke up cold and uncomfortable, which was very different from waking up on Susan's sofa. She always made sure he had a pillow and blanket, and her sofa was much wider than Harry's. As he slowly opened his eyes, he became aware of a form standing over him, shifting impatiently. "Remus, wake up!"

Remus' eyes snapped open at the sound of that voice. "Severus! What are you doing here?" He sat up slowly, stretching and twisting out the kinks in his muscles.

"Potter contacted me this morning, begging me for a hangover potion. I'm assuming your young friend over indulged last night. However, I can't seem to wake him now."

Remus was baffled. "You Apparated all the way to London on a Saturday morning to do Harry Potter a favor? Now I've seen everything. I didn't know you were capable of being decent, Severus."

"Don't be foolish! I made it very clear to Potter that he owes me. He was willing to promise me his first born child - I'll have to consider that."

Remus shook his head. "Don't give it to him."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me!"

"Come now, Remus. You know I wouldn't really take his firstborn brat; however, I could probably think of something almost as painful."

Remus sighed and stood up. "Look, Severus, I'm sorry you made the trip down here, but I'd really rather you take that potion right back to Hogwarts. I'll make it clear to Harry that he still owes you a favor."

"Remus Lupin is refusing Harry Potter a favor? Now I've seen everything! I didn't know you were capable of cruelty," Severus said with a bemused expression.

"He needs to learn to deal with the consequences of his drinking. This isn't the first time this has happened," Remus said, shaking his head.

"You're not his father, Remus. He's an adult."

Remus crossed his arms. "I know I'm not his father. But as his friend, I've got to do what I can to help him. I don't expect you to understand. And you certainly don't have to do what I say." Remus paused for a moment as he remembered something. "By the way, did you make that hangover potion taste as horrid as possible?"

"What are you talking about? Are you willing to let him take it if it tastes horrible?"

"No. I was actually thinking of another potion - one you've been brewing for me every month."

Severus gave Remus a malicious smile. "Hermione Weasley made the Wolfsbane Potion for you yesterday, didn't she? Are you telling me you prefer the flavor of hers?"

Remus tried to suppress his anger, realizing that Severus would never feel remorse for omitting the sugar from his potion. He sighed and looked the Potions Master in the eye. "Go back to Hogwarts, Severus. I'll see you later." Snape smirked and Disapparated.

Harry staggered into the living room, yawning as he came. "W-w-w-as that Snape I heard?"

"Yes."

"Excellent! I assume he brought my potion?"

"Yes," Remus said slowly, avoiding Harry's eyes, "but I convinced him not to leave it."

"You what?"

The tone of Harry's voice caused Remus to look at him. His eyes were narrowed and his face was turning red. Remus took a deep breath. "Harry, you really need to stop drinking. The consequences are too costly."

Harry picked up a book and threw it at Remus. Of course, in Harry's state, the flying object posed no threat to Remus, but he ducked instinctively. "How dare you!" Harry seethed. "How dare you interfere in my business! You're not my father!"

Remus felt his anger rising, but forced himself to stay calm. It was too close to the Full Moon. "You didn't mind me interfering when I brought you home last night," he said. "I know I'm not your father, I'm your friend. Any friend would try to stop you from doing this to yourself. This is starting to affect your relationships - you can't let that happen, Harry. Maybe a little pain will help."

Harry exploded, "What do you know? You weren't around most of my life! All you people who try to tell me what to do - where were you when I was locked in a cupboard full of spiders? Where were you when I was being beaten up by my cousin? Where were you when I was facing Voldemort? You can't just waltz in when I'm grown and decide to be my father! I've made it this far on my own, and I don't need you now!" He sat down heavily on a chair, put his head in his hands, and stared at the slivers of light between his fingers. "That didn't help my headache any," he mumbled.

Remus fought to master the sorrow that was threatening to overwhelm him. When he felt he could speak, he walked over to Harry, put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, and said, "I'll make some strong coffee."

When the pain in his head abated a bit, Harry followed Remus into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "I'm sorry. That was totally uncalled for."

Remus turned to look at him, the hurt still apparent in his eyes. "You're right, Harry, it was uncalled for. Take a good look at what your drinking is doing - it's not pretty."

Harry bowed his head as Remus handed him a steaming mug and a muffin. "I guess Ron told you what I said."

"I'm surprised you remember. But yes, I guessed it was about Hermione."

Harry crossed his arms on the table and buried his face in them. "Why? Why did I say that? I've lost my two best friends. It was so stupid!"

"It was the alcohol talking. You've got to stop drinking."

"No! That's just the thing! It was ... what I said was all true! I love Hermione, and I hate Ron for taking her from me, and I hate her for choosing him, and I hate myself for being gone and allowing it to happen! And they were my best friends, and now they're gone!" Harry looked up at Remus with tear-filled eyes. "What will I do?"

Remus tried to imagine what it would have been like if he had been in love with Lily Potter, or if Susan had been in love with Sirius. He couldn't fathom what Harry was going through. But he knew the only reasonable thing to do was to move on. He took a deep breath; he'd had all night to think about his next words. "Harry, I've got a few pieces of advice, if you want to hear them."

"Ok."

"First of all, I know you're sick of hearing this, but STOP DRINKING! You need to limit yourself to an occasional butterbeer. Anything stronger just makes you want more. Second, apologize to Ron. Give him a few days to cool down, then grovel. I'll be really surprised if he doesn't forgive you. You've been friends for too long - he'll get over it. Third, get a job. I know you don't need the money, but it's not doing you any good moping around this flat all the time. And lastly, get a life. You're young. You should be out having fun - dating."

Harry made a face. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, yet. I'm not sure I want to inflict myself on anyone else."

"I'm not telling you to get married. Just get out and have fun. Meet some people - maybe someone at work." He paused a moment before saying, "I don't think Sheila's dating anyone."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You just think that since you have a girlfriend, everyone else should, too."

Remus smiled. "I won't deny that it makes me happy. When I'm with her I can forget what I am. You've had very little happiness in your life, and you deserve some."

Harry sighed. "Tomorrow night - do you want to stay here or should I go to Hogwarts?"

Remus knew the topic of dating was closed, but was puzzled by Harry's question. "What are you talking about? Tomorrow is the Full Moon."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about - I told you I would transform and stay with you this time."

Remus smiled, feeling relieved. "Thanks - I really appreciate it. Do you mind coming to Hogwarts? I don't like to Apparate the day of or after."

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Harry strode down the hall of the Ministry of Magic, still feeling the tenderness in his chest. Remus's wolf had been violent and had actually cracked a couple of Harry's ribs. Luckily, Remus had been unconscious when he transformed back into his human form, and Harry had been able to heal himself before he awoke. Harry didn't want Remus to know about the injury because he knew he would blame himself, and Harry knew it was his own fault. Remus wouldn't have been violent if he hadn't been worrying about Harry's drinking and harsh words. Remus had told Harry long ago that strong feelings made his transformations worse.

As he made his way to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, he wondered for the hundredth time what he was doing there. The owl had been cryptic, saying only that the Head of the Department needed to talk to him. He was a little nervous that he might be interrogated; his record with Unforgivable Curses wasn't exactly clean. Or they may have found out about his Animagus...

Harry relaxed when Ms. Edwards offered him tea. But his ease was replaced with shock when he heard what she had to say. "Mr. Potter, I'll come right to the point. We would like you to assist in our capture of the Cloaked Vigilante in the United States."