Just So You Know...

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own Avenue Q or any of the songs from it. I'd like to, but I don't.

Author's Notes: Many thanks to my beta, shadowstorm! Also thanks to Jeff Marx, for without him, there would be no song.

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Remus sat in the flat he shared with Sirius, on the couch with a book in hand and a blue mug of coffee on the table in front of him. He leaned back, enjoying the silence. Sirius was one of his best friends; living together was fun, but Sirius could be...tiring. It was often more like having a son there instead of a friend. It was nice to have the flat all to himself. When Sirius wasn't home, it always seemed more peaceful.

"An afternoon alone," he said to no one, "with a good book and a nice cup of coffee. No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

The door to the flat flew open and slammed shut. Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. So much for his quiet afternoon; Sirius was back.

"Oh, hi Remus!" he said enthusiastically.

"Hi Sirius," Remus grumbled.

"Hey Remus, you'll never guess what happened to me this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me...," Sirius said conversationally, leaning over to look at the book Remus held.

"Hm. That's very interesting." Remus turned the page in his book, wondering why it mattered who Sirius met today.

"Yeah, he was being reeeeeeeeeeeal friendly. I think he was coming on to me. I think he might have though I was gay."

"So why are you telling me this?" Remus asked, clearing his throat. "Hm? Why should I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?" Remus hoped this would sway the conversation to something less... Something better to talk about. This was not his kind of conversation. Unfortunately, Sirius took a different route.

"You don't have to get all defensive about it," he said in a knowing voice.

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" Remus cried out, cutting Sirius off with a panicked voice. Realizing how he had responded as Sirius stared at him, Remus hastily but calmly continued, "I- Why do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I am trying to read."

Sirius shrugged and stood behind the couch. He glanced at the words on the page of Remus' book. "Well, I didn't mean anything by it, Remus, I just think it's something we should be able to talk about," he explained, sounding quite genuine.

"Well, I do not want to talk about it," Remus said quickly, hurriedly thumbing to the next page. "Sirius, this conversation is over."

"Yeah, but Remus -"

"OVER!"

Sirius sighed and moved to one of the arms on the sofa. "Well, okay. But...just so you know..."

Remus glanced up, a little wary. Sirius grinned.

"If you were gay," Sirius sing-songed, "that'd be okay. I mean, cause, hey: I'd like you anyway."

Remus groaned and scooted to the opposite side of the couch, trying to ignore Sirius by moving away from him.

"Because you see," continued Sirius, "if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay. But I'm not gay," he added.

"Sirius, please, I am trying to read," Remus said, turning away from Sirius. It was quiet for a few seconds- then Sirius was behind Remus again. Remus shouted, exasperated, "What?"

"If you were queer," Sirius explained in a sing-song tone again.

"Sirius!" Remus warned.

"I'd still be here."

"Sirius, I'm trying to read this book!"

"Year after year..."

"Sirius."

"...Because you're dear to me."

"Arg!"

"And I know that you..."

"What?"

"Would accept me too!"

"I would?" Remus asked skeptically.

"If I told you today: 'Hey, guess what? I'm gay!' But I'm not gay."

Remus picked up his coffee mug and walked over to an armchair across the room as Sirius followed, continuing his almost-one-sided conversation.

"I'm happy, just being with you... So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

"Sirius, that is gross!" Remus cried.

"No it's not!" Sirius claimed. "If you were gay..."

Remus grumbled as Sirius plopped down next to his armchair. He finally threw his book down as Sirius said, "I'd shout 'Hurray!'" in a mock celebration.

"I'm not listening!" Remus said firmly, standing up and walking out the door.

"And here I'd stay..." Sirius called after him, also standing to join him outside the flat.

"La, la, la, la, la!!!" Remus shouted, putting his fingers in his ears.

"...But I wouldn't get in your way."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

"You can count on me," Sirius said. He pointed to himself and clapping Remus on the shoulder, went on, "to always be...beside you everyday, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and as they say 'it's in your DNA', you're gay!"

"I AM NOT GAY!" Remus bellowed.

"If you were gay," Sirius reminded Remus.

Shocked neighbors from either side of Sirius and Remus' flat came out and stared at the two roommates standing outside their door. The neighbors cautiously investigated Remus' loud proclamation. Sirius waved cheerfully at them as Remus glowed a dark shade of red.

Sirius ushered Remus back inside. He steered Remus to his original position on the couch, retrieved the book, and stuck it into Remus' hands. Sirius left it open to the page Remus had been reading when he had come home. Then Sirius magically heated the coffee still sitting in the mug. He placed the mug on top of a coaster that rested on the coffee table. Sirius quickly patted Remus on the head before scooting out the door again to avoid his roommate's soon-to-come wrath.