Boys on the Radio

Chapter Ten

When the fire goes out

You better learn to fake.

It's better to rise

Than fade away.

Harry had done a lot of thinking. He was absolutely convinced the dementor had been a product of Voldemort and it shook him quite a bit. He had spent all his time since meeting Draco forgetting of all that and ignoring it and putting it away in his mind and simply not thinking of it. But now things had started to happen again. And he would be pushed into it.

Harry honestly continued trying to forget of it ... But of course he couldn't. People were looking at him more now, questioning him, perhaps now asking themselves if Harry had been telling the truth as Cornelius Fudge had discredited him. Harry didn't like dealing with it all. He had spent so much time shutting it all out.

Hermione and Ron were onto him like a magnet like any moment Voldemort would pop around and kill him if they weren't with him. It was bothersome after a while. He didn't care about any of it. He wanted out. After a while, it caused him a lot of depression.

But luckily, Draco was still around. Draco always understood somehow. Even if he didn't exactly say so, Harry could always tell that he did. Draco was the one person he felt one hundred percent confidence in these days. He wished he could still say it about Ron and Hermione, but he really didn't know if he could.

Only Draco understood how sick Harry was of being the hero. Everyone wanted Harry to have all the answers in every situation like this. It was as though Harry was expected to be invincible and play the hero role regardless of how he felt or his feelings. It was insignificant. Harry just had a role to play.

"Harry," Draco said on one particularly chilly night that they met. "You don't have to be anything you aren't for me."
It was awkward for Draco to say something like that, but he did of course have his moments like that. He only seemed to say it when the person on the receiving end already knew which Harry supposed Draco figured made it fine to say. In a way that was true. In a way it was still very much like Draco to keep an element of surprise going.

"Draco, please don't leave," Harry said in an almost desperate voice later on that night. They hadn't gone anywhere at all. They had stood together in the Astronomy Tower, watching the stars, doing absolutely nothing. "Please don't leave me."

Harry had sounded so sad and so desperate and much more so than he had intended to. He wanted to lie down and cry. Harry knew he couldn't continue running away from his life anymore. He was going to have to face it all and it scared the bloody life out of him.

"Harry, I'm not going anywhere," Draco said, sounding surprised at Harry's minor breakdown. But Draco reacted well. He went over to Harry and gently kissed him and then lied him down and held him. "Please, Harry, please be okay."

It was Draco's turn to sound desperate. And once again it was so unlike Draco. But Harry understood well this time. Harry was the first person who Draco confided in one hundred percent as well and Draco could not lose him either. It was as if they were one; if one part became broken the other would not function.

"Draco, Draco," Harry began whispering very low. "Make love to me."

Draco put his hand on Harry's chest and felt him. Harry was freezing and Draco felt so warm ... And Draco continued until he reached his neck .... Draco kissed Harry gently on the neck ... Harry turned around and kissed Draco passionately on his lips ever so softly.

Draco put both his hands back on Harry's chest but moved down this time ... He reached Harry's waist and snuck a hand down Harry's trousers ... He touched Harry's member gently and stroked once ... Just once .... And then Draco pulled Harry's trousers off ....

Draco put his mouth on Harry's member ... Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed the pleasure of that moment ... He rid himself of all thought ... No Voldemort, no Death Eaters, No unhappiness .... Joy, happiness, love, peace .... Draco. Draco would always be there, wouldn't he?

Harry was turned over. Draco had begun prepping him.

"Draco ... Draco ... Draco ... Draco," Harry couldn't form a sentence. All he knew was that he loved Draco Malfoy more than anything and he wanted him more than anything. Draco Malfoy loved him for what he was. "I want you."

*********

Draco Malfoy could never remember being so worried about anyone else before. Draco had not been raised to care about other human beings that much. It was always look after yourself most. Draco honestly felt now, somehow, there was someone who he loved as much as he loved himself. And somehow it was actually returned. There was no doubt in his mind that Harry Potter loved him. But Harry Potter was not happy. And somehow through this, Draco was not happy either.

He watched Harry in their many classes everyday. He was so unhappy. All the color was drained from his face. The temporary happiness he had seen Harry in when they had been together was gone. Harry was almost unrecognizable. But what Harry didn't realize was this time he would face nothing alone. Draco would be there no matter what ...

"Mr. Potter, are you paying attention?" It was the voice of Professor McGonagall. "I am speaking to you."

Draco shot an attentive eye over to Harry's direction.

"Sorry, professor," Harry spoke weakly and quietly.

"Potter, are you ill?" Professor McGonagall asked, and she looked authentically worried. "You look very out of color."

"Yes, professor, may I go to the infirmary please?" Harry asked, and as Draco had seen him do before, he was begging.

"Yes, Potter, please do," Professor McGonagall. "I would not want ill students in my classroom."

Harry got up and left. Draco waited ... Perhaps two or three minutes ... And he asked to use the restroom. He quickly ran and headed for the infirmary. Upon arrival, Harry was not there. Harry was nowhere in the area. Luckily, for Draco's sake and Harry's, the bell rang for break a few moments later.

Draco looked in the only other place he could imagine Harry and being. He looked in the Astronomy Tower. And of course, there sat Harry. He was watching the outside blankly. Draco approached him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I knew you would come," Harry said. Draco let go of the grip. "No, hold me Draco. Touch me, Draco. Feel me, Draco."

It was strange. Harry was acting very peculiar. Draco wasn't even sure how to respond to it. But Draco put his arms around Harry's neck and looked to the outside with him.

"Harry, I love you," Draco said, praying it would help. "I really do."

"I know you do, Draco," Harry said. "I want to leave. With you."

Draco was shocked. What was Harry talking about? Leave? To go where? What on earth was Harry trying to say?

"What are you talking about, Harry?" Draco asked him, completely puzzled.

"Let's leave, Draco. Let's run off somewhere, anywhere. Anywhere we can be together and people won't judge us or hate us for it," Harry said looking at Draco sincerely. Harry was not joking at all. Harry was, however, being absolutely unrealistic and borderline insane.

"Harry ... Harry," Draco began, not even knowing where to begin on why that could not happen. "Our lives are here."

"I know, Draco. But I'm sick of this life! What the fuck did we ever do to deserve this?" Harry was screaming now. Draco did not try to stop him. "I'M ONLY FUCKING HUMAN!"

Now Draco was mad. Why was Harry yelling at him? "Well, Harry, there are some things here that are worth staying for," Draco said quietly though rather angrily.

"Really, like what?" Harry asked in a rage.

"Like me," Draco said, staring Harry in the eye.

And Draco walked off. He went back to Transfiguration and got his bags quickly and sat alone outside the castle and ate a small snack and lied down and basically felt sorry for himself. No one came near him when he was in that kind of mood, not even Pansy or Blaze. So Draco just lied there looking at his watch until the end of break. And then he was off to another class, to be miserable. He would listen to another stupid twit of a teacher rant on about a subject that he really could not possibly care less about ... That is, unless the subject was Harry. Then he would be more attentive than ever. Of course, that wasn't going to happen.

"God," Draco said to himself, and now imitating Harry. "I hate loving him sometimes."

Harry met Draco again that night. He felt bad for yelling at Draco earlier. The first thing he did was apologize. But then he could not take it anymore. Harry cried and cried into Draco's arms.

"Draco, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," Harry had begun saying. "I love you, I love you. I love you so much."

"It is fine, Harry," Draco said. "Let's go get high or something. I need a relief from all this."

"All right then," Harry said, hugging Draco and holding onto him tight. "Let's get high then."

*******

Draco did not know what time it was. Draco did not know what year it was. Draco could barely remember his last name. Or maybe he did, but the thought of even thinking about something as silly as thought made him laugh. And laugh he did.

All he could think about was those little joys in life he had just realized he had never really paid any attention to. Draco looked down on the ground. There were aunts crawling all around. And Draco counted them .... One .... Two ... Three .... Fifty ... Thirty ...

"Ah!" Draco screamed quite loudly. An ant bit him. He had been so unprepared for such a sensation. Draco looked at Harry. Harry was in a complete daze, staring at the moon with his mouth wide open.

"Draco ... it's so bright. But if you look careful ... You realize something. There's more than just cheese up there," Harry said, or at least that's what Draco thought he said. Draco was busy looking at the alignments of the bricks on the walls. But Draco was so cold .... Freezing .....

Draco was really enjoying hearing these rapid thumping sounds in his ears ... Draco wasn't exactly sure where it was coming from but he kept hearing it over and over again, it was quite wonderful. It was like music almost. Draco looked at Harry again. He began counting Harry's teeth ... So bright ...

"Smile, Harry, smile," Draco said. "Smile."

And Draco counted ... One ... Two ... Three ... Seven ... Four ....

*******

"What the fuck were we on, Malfoy?" Harry asked Draco once they were back at Hogwarts the next afternoon, which luckily was a Saturday.

"Just some acid," Draco said, as though it made it all right. "I didn't think the effects would last that long."

"Yes, well, they did. I better go and find Ron and Hermione before they bloody have a heart attack," Harry said irritably.

"They probably already have," Draco said, half laughing.

And Harry left Draco with a light kiss on the lips.

And things went normal the next few days. But Draco vowed to never trip on acid again after what had happened before. He actually felt lucky they survived. He literally could not remember almost anything except flashes and minor feelings until after perhaps noon even. And how they managed to not get caught was another affair all on its own. An affair he literally had no idea about.

Harry got a bit sick the following day, apparently feeling nauseated but as it was Sunday he simply went down to Madam Pomfrey and had her give him a strengthening potion and he was fine. They hanged out for a bit after that, but they remained absolutely sober and abstained from sexual activity because of sleep depravation. It was then that Draco learned you truly can be too tired for sex.

But it was a very cold day that something so peculiar happened in which Draco never even imagined. It was so cold that day. It must have been the coldest day of the year thus far. Draco felt relieved to stay in the building that day since there was a lack of any outdoor classes, in which Draco was very grateful for. Draco rushed down to the Potions dungeons quite early that day as it was always quite warm in the dungeons which was usually an inconvenience, but in this case was to an advantage.

Snape was not there when Draco arrived but most of the pupils were. Draco gave Harry an evil snare for the mere fun of it. He threw Longbottom's ink bottle on the floor, leaded by a secret smirk by Harry. He then, rather fashionably (being Draco), took his seat between Blaze and Pansy, who were fighting on who got to sit next to him today. It was always how he usually settled the pointless, rather tiring fight. Still in the end neither was ever satisfied.

Snape never came in. The bell rang. This had never happened to the class before. It was highly unexpected and the entire class was quite shocked. For the first few moments, no one spoke out of fear and the likeliness that Snape would come barging in a right state. But the minutes passed by and no one entered. Only Hermione Granger looked worried.

But finally, someone entered. But it was not Snape.

Harry almost cried out in shock. He would have never expected such a thing to happen. Snape had not come. It was two dark cloaked figured with large hoods with hidden faces. They immediately pointed their wands at the pupils. The screams and chaos were drowned out by Harry's near panic attack. All the time he had shut things like this out ...

And Hermione's arms were around his in fear. And Harry snapped back into himself and heard a voice scream a spell at Lavender Brown who lies now unconscious on the floor ... Then a bellow from one of them screaming for silence ... And it was so quiet.

Harry just stood there as everyone stared at him, presumably assuming he was going to do something. A terrible chill was running through his body and he was shaking horribly. The fate of the situation was barely believable, and Harry was still trying to take in the facts of the matter. All he could do was stand there with his eyes wide open.

Harry looked over at Draco, who looked almost ... contained. He didn't necessarily look relaxed in any way, but he didn't look as panicked as anyone else. He was much paler than normal, yes, but he wasn't as panic-stricken as anyone else, simply sitting, watching. He would not catch Harry's eye.

The Death Eaters stopped moving around so much and idly pointed their wands at everyone. Still, no one spoke. Hermione shivered in his arms, though she wasn't as bad as before. Ron was shaking on his other side by him. The Gryffindors were all huddled together on one side, horrified, and the Slytherins on the others. Perhaps a few Slytherins looked bold and unafraid, such as Crabbe and Goyle, but for the most part, they were just as terrified.

Harry wished he could see who they were. He knew it must be two of them that he had seen at the graveyard ... One of the ones who had watched what should have been his death ... And all the terrible memories came back to him .... Cedric's dead body .... The fetus that would become Voldemort ... Wormtail with his new silver arm ...

And one of the Death Eaters performed a spell. Their wands simply disappeared. It had not been a summoning charm ... They had simply disappeared. Harry had not understood it; in fact he had not even heard the spell properly. But this had made many people scream with more terror. They had lost what little guard they had had left. And then the Death Eaters did another spell, but Harry did not see what they had performed. And then they left.

It was apparent what they had done. As soon as the Death Eaters left, half of everyone ran for the doors. It was locked. Every form of transportation to leave in the room had been locked. No spell could remove the lock, either. It must have been really strong dark magic.

Pandemonium broke out, the silence long forgotten. Draco, for the first time, looked very scared. He looked the same as he had the night they had gone to the town Lucius Malfoy owned by Draco's house. Lucius had nearly caught them then. Now ... Well now, no one knew what was going on. People were banging on doors, screaming for help, crying ... Everyone was losing it. And there was nothing any of them could do.

Draco looked at his watch for the hundredth time. Night had fallen. It was nearly nine at night. No one had come to rescue them. They were still stuck in the Potions classroom. People had become seriously panic stricken. Draco supposed this must be what it was like waiting to die.

There was nothing to tell them they would ever get out... But then again ... His father was Voldemort's secondhand man. He would not leave him to die here ... But would he? Would he for Voldemort? But Voldemort would want Harry for himself, too. They wouldn't starve to death, no. Something was bound to happen soon.

He had wanted to talk to Harry. But he couldn't. Right now ... There couldn't be a worse time. Draco knew that. But he was sure Harry didn't care about this. It was Draco to be the one who would have to care and have to keep his sanity. He would have to be twice as strong as Harry.

Harry, Granger, and Weasley were together in a corner of the room. Everyone was together in their little circles. Draco was with Blaze, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle together. Crabbe and Goyle themselves had had no idea of this. Blaze and Pansy were much more frightened then they appeared, as were Crabbe and Goyle. But they all just sat there, hungry, waiting.

Draco always brought snacks with him to his classes. He had brought some crackers, some chocolate ... But he did not share any of it with his Slytherin pals. In the front of the room was Snape's office, and thank God for them, he had a small bathroom. He looked at Harry for two seconds, two focused seconds, went to the bathroom, left him some food and went back to his Slytherins. Harry went right to the bathroom and got it.

So Draco waited and thought. Snape had probably always been a double agent. This had probably been a latest scheme. But why had no one came to get them? Had the Death Eaters taken over Hogwarts or something? With Dumbledore there ... no, not possible. But why hadn't they come to release them yet? Draco was scared, he really was.

It was midnight. And yet they waited alone. Draco was so tired. He lied down on one of the Potions table. He had intended to lie there for a moment, but he did not. Draco fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.