And the Two Worlds Shall Meet

Due to an intergalactic- What? Oh, this isn't Star Wars. Sorry, wrong story. Our story starts at Hogwarts, in Harry's sixth year. It has nothing to do with intergalactic... stuff. Due to an impossibly complicated turn of events that I, as a humble author, could never understand, the wizarding world and the Harry Potter fanfiction world merged.

The moment the said merging happened, everyone knew it, because everyone found a double standing before their eyes. There were even two Tom Riddles (who miraculously were brought forward in time to visit Virginia Weasley), which could only cause even more mayhem than it should have. So now that we all know and partially understand what the hell is going on, the story can start.

Harry Potter, who had been in a shouting match with Draco Malfoy, gasped in utter horror when another Harry and another Draco appeared out of thin air. The weirdest part was that the two of them were having a snog fest. "What the hell is going on?!?" Harry said, gasping.

Draco too was shocked. "What did you do Potter?! Is this one of your sick fantasies?! That's sickening!"

"You think it's sickening?!? I hate you!"

"Yeah, well I hate you more!"

The other Harry and Draco took the time to stop snogging and stare at the other two. "Who are you people!?! Why do you look exactly like us? And what's up with the fighting?" the other Harry asked, his hair annoyingly ruffled and his face flushed.

"We are the real...people. Or something. And there must be some serious dark arts stuff going on around here, because Malfoy and I would never..." the real Harry stopped mid-sentence, too horrified to speak the unspeakable.

"I am Draco Malfoy! I am not cruel and cold-hearted but a dark, sexy, tortured, and misunderstood sex god!" the other Draco cried out, striking a truly disturbing pose.

"And I am Harry Potter, Draco's sex slave," the other Harry said, posing along with Draco.

The real Draco and Harry gasped. Draco yelled out, "This is DISTURBED, Potter! In what world would Potter be my sex slave?! Although, it is true, my being a sex god." He grinned, winking at a nearby girl, who wasn't a big enough character to get her own alternate person, and the girl, being a Slytherin, giggled insanely and ran off.

"In what world would we hate each other?" Harry cried out, his green eyes huge.

Moments later, innocent little Ginny Weasley appeared, looking particularly angry. She was followed by an unbelievably hot girl with red hair, most likely a Ginny double, whose skirt was rolled up ten inches above the knee and whose shirt was unbuttoned so far that if she bent down, her bra would be quite visible. Every guy ogled at her.

They were followed by two Tom Marvolo Riddles. One was looking disgusted with his surroundings, and the other was hitting on the fake Ginny so badly, that several of the surrounding people gasped.

"You know, Ginny, even though you are so over me, and I will never look at you as more than Ron's little sister, if you dressed like that, you'd be one hot babe," the real Harry said winking at the real Ginny.

Seconds later, several things happened at once. I, as your author and witness, was very confused and surprised at all this, but shall do my best to record the next shocking turn of events, however unsurprising they may be. The first thing that happened was Snape burst in, carrying Hermione in his arms. Both were kissing passionately and completely ignoring the doubles of themselves who were screaming at them. "This is disturbed! 20 points from Gryffindor for whoever is responsible for this!" Snape screamed, glaring menacingly at the other versions of him and Hermione.

The fake Ginny spotted the fake Draco and shoved Tom away. "Oh, Draco! You're rich! I need your help! My mum has tragically died in a rubber duck accident, and I cannot afford to get her a funeral! Marry me even thought I hate you!"

Draco winked yet again and said, "Of course! I hate you with every fiber of my being as well, but I cannot get any money without marrying a pureblood! We shall get married tonight! Sorry, Harry, but Ginny is way hotter than you!" And with that, the slut Ginny and freaky Draco began to make out passionately. The fake Harry and Tom burst into tears. The real Tom was already wandering the school looking for a student to possess- preferably a girl. Then he had access to the girls' toilets, and boy did he like that! (What, did you think it was a coincidence that the Chamber of Secrets was located in a girls' toilet? Salazar did the same thing!)

Moments later, two Dumbledore's walked in. "Students! We have an announcement to make. It seems as if the fan fiction world has merged with ours."

The other Dumbledore butted in, "Which means that everyone who has been featured in a Harry Potter fan fic is now here."

"What is this 'fan fic' you speak of?" the real Hermione asked.

"We are very famous people. We are in books. People write stories about what they want to happen in the books. Somehow, that world has collided with ours," the real Dumbledore explained calmly.

"What the hell?!" our Harry cried out, pointing at something behind Dumbledore.

"Mr. Potter, please hold your use of language, if you don't mind. It isn't that surprising."

"No, sir, not you. That!" Harry replied, still gaping at a figure behind Dumbledore.

Everyone's attention turned toward the door. It was Fred and George kissing passionately.

By this time, all of the original characters were shocked out of their wits, except for Dumbledore. The fan fiction characters were talking amongst themselves. "Oi! Minerva, let's go get our groove on in the Astronomy Tower?" the other Dumbledore said winking.

With that, Harry Potter lurched awake and realized he had only dozed off in the middle of the History of Magic class. Blinking, he looked up at Professor Binns. "And that concludes the chapter on the alternate universe of fan fiction," Binns droned, just as the bell rang.