Basketcase

Basketcase

'Some might say that sunshine follows thunder

Go tell it to the man who cannot shine....'

--Oasis, Some Might Say.

Chapter Five: Sunsets and Forgotten Matters

Hermione and Ron both ignored each other for the rest of the day and about three days after that, until Harry got fed up with the tense silence and asked them to put a stop to it. Ron, however, who was still very sore at her and held grudges for far too long, spoke to Harry about Hermione's lack of human emotion right in front of her. Hermione, angry that Ron had the nerve to speak that way about her to Harry right in front of her face, and not to forget the fact that he did it in a way that made it seem as if she wasn't there beside Harry at all, spoke to Harry the same way. And thus the day went on as dreadfully long as it could, with Harry's best friends ignoring each other one minute as if the other was less than a speck of dirt, and then spent the next lunging at each other to wring the other's throat.

Harry spoke to Hermione when they were alone about the topic, weary and almost pleaded for her to apologize. Hermione looked at him in irritation and annoyance, as her eyes flashed with spite.

"Me? Apologize? Why should I be the one to apologize?" she huffed, enraged by Harry's question. "What are you playing at? You're on his side, aren't you? Bloody hell, Harry, you're always on his side! I don't even know why I'm surprised!" She scoffed, leaving Harry baffled, as she stormed past him. Harry shook himself from his momentary shock as he called after her and ran to catch up.

"No, Hermione! I'm not on his side! I'm just saying it so that you and Ron can be friends again - not because you're the one at fault! Please, Hermione! You and Ron have been ignoring each other and then bickering and it's driving me insane!" Just then, Hermione stopped, as she looked Harry straight in the eye, her jaw clenched.

"Harry, I'm not going to apologize," she said sternly to him. Harry sighed in defeat. "And I'm sorry that you're caught in the middle, but Harry, he's wrong and I can't just give in and prove to him that I need his friendship! He'll hold that against me for years!"

"But you do need his friendship!" Harry said, desperate. "Like I need yours and his, and he needs yours and mine! Just please, Hermione! I can't stand it when you and Ron fight!" Hermione closed her eyes and sighed for a quick second, and when she looked at Harry again, he was surprised to see that same angry glint to be gone. Her features had softened and her eyes were dark, as she shifted her book bag uneasily on her shoulder.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, Harry," she said softly, as she laid a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked at her helplessly, disappointed and crushed. "I really am. But I... I just can't be the one to apologize to him again. You've seen it, Harry, I've always been the one to approach him and offer my apology even when he was the one who was acting like a prude. I'm tired of being the weak one when I'm really not. I'm not going to give in this time. I'm sorry. But listen," she smiled kindly at him, and Harry realized that this was the first time she had smiled around him in days. "You don't have to be my friend, for the time being." Harry's face fell.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, confused.

"I mean," she squeezed Harry's shoulder, "I know how Ron's really important to you, and this might go on for a while.... You feel torn between us. And I'm letting go. I'm not pulling at you anymore. Just go with Ron. You don't have to speak to me or anything during this feud, and I understand."

"Wait, what?" Harry asked again, shrugging her hand off of his shoulder. Hermione looked at him sadly. "What do you mean you're letting me go? And I don't have to speak to you? What are you saying, Hermione?"

Hermione sighed, frustrated.

"I mean... just, just go with Ron. I've got Ginny, I'll be fine. You know, whether you try to deny it or not, you're going to have to choose a side. I'll bet Ron will be sore at you and pick an argument at why you're still speaking to me, and like I said, he's really important to you, and I don't want him to have a spat with you too." Harry frowned, his shoulders slouching, realizing her point. He knew that Ron had already been shooting him some looks whenever he talked to Hermione, and he had ignored him whenever he brought her up.

"Oh," Harry said dejectedly. "I see." Hermione sighed, as she smiled at him reassuringly.

"Harry, if this goes on far too long that it's pointless, I'll apologize. Don't worry. I've always tried to be reasonable and considerate, that's why I've always been the one to apologize first.... And if it really feels horrible for you that you can't stand it any longer, just come find me and tell me. I'll put a stop to it right away, for you." Harry smiled at her, touched by her loyalty and consideration.

"Thanks, Hermione," he said softly, grinning at her. "You know, you really blew us away in the Great Hall. Everyone started to clap, but the most peculiar thing is that I think the clapping started from a person somewhere sitting at the Slytherin table.... People are still talking about it, you know. You really surprised us." Hermione laughed, though it did not reach her eyes.

"Thanks, Harry," she said. "But, you'd better get on your way to the dormitories. Ron might be looking for you and get suspicious." Harry nodded, as he ran a hand through his midnight hair.

"Alright then," he sighed. "I'll see you around, alright?" Hermione nodded, a faint smile on her lips, as she watched Harry brush past her and walk down the corridor without looking back.

Hermione sighed, as he disappeared from her sight and she turned back to the fantastic view of the Astronomy tower. She smiled, her eyes twinkling, as the sky painted itself with blushing pinks, spectacular yellows and brilliant oranges. The sun was setting, sending bright rays of its goodbye for the day, as she looked out, her arms folded on the balcony arm. She stared out, feeling her heart warm at the sight before her. It was still quite chilly, but it hadn't snowed last evening or this morning, so it wasn't so cold. She hadn't seen a sunset ever since she had set foot back at Hogwarts. She wasn't a bit guilty since she had always put her academic responsibilities and studies first, but she was glad to see a sunset again, especially at times such as these. It really was comforting and soothing, and it made her forget about everything else and just focus on the moment.

"It always makes me gag the way you speak to Potter that way."

Hermione's smile froze in place, as she recognized the familiar drawl. She sighed silently, trying to ignore the way her heart had skipped a beat when she knew it was him.

"Well, Malfoy, an evil eavesdropper, are we now?" she said, surprised at herself to be acting so pleasant to an individual such as himself, considering the fact that he had been here to witness her whole conversation with Harry. She blushed, remembering the way she had spoken to him. She knew that that had earned a rather large amount of teases about her relationship with Harry from him, since he had seen it with his own eyes. But, despite the feeling of warmth melting the coldness in her heart that had piled on for the last couple of days, the sunset was too beautiful for Draco to ruin it.

She was smiling faintly as she watched him step out of a dark corner near her, smirking. She sighed and looked back at nature's showcase beauty as he walked towards the balcony and stood a good distance away from her, leaning against it in a cool fashion that she recognized to be only his far too easily.

"You know, Potter's a better catch than that Weasley. I can't believe you'd just push him off in his direction, with that cherry. At least he's famous. That Weasley's dirt poor and he's got a temper and a daft brain to match it," he remarked, but Hermione noticed that his remark didn't hold as much of its biting hint or venom as it usually did. He only said it as straightforward as he usually did, like it was the cold hard truth that he wanted her to face and be upset about. And also something to rub in her face. Hermione, despite herself, chuckled lightly, which made Draco look over at her in surprise.

"Me and Harry? Malfoy, would you just make up your mind?" she laughed. "First it's me and Ron, and then it's me and Harry? You're more confused than Neville is at Potions!" Draco glared at her, feeling uncomfortable at the way looking at her made him feel.

"I'm not confused, Granger," he snapped. "I'm just smart enough to know that you fancy either one, if not both. And though Potter's got that horrendously wretched scar, at least he can support you and buy you what you need to survive. Weasley's never going to get anywhere with that temper. He's going to get thrown out from every bar in the Wizarding World," he snorted. "Not that he can afford it, of course."

Hermione smiled widely, amused, as she turned to look at him. Draco felt his heart suddenly leap, and tried his best not to swear out loud at the bothersome feelings that kept happening inside him for no particular reason.

"Well, you're wrong," she smiled. Draco wondered when she had gotten so pretty, and why girls like Pansy couldn't look like her when they smiled. Pansy certainly didn't make him feel the way Hermione did, when she smiled. Draco, catching himself at that thought, shuddered mentally and looked away.

"You can think what you want," she said, "but there isn't any truth to those ridiculous rumors. Not now or the past few years, anyway." Draco, his ears perking up, looked at her as he let his guard down, interested.

"What do you mean, 'not now or the past few years, anyway'?" he asked. Hermione shook her head, still smiling faintly, and Draco was entranced at the way her hair glowed golden from the bright rays of the sunset.

"Nothing," she said simply, still smiling. Draco had to fight the very strong urge to demand her to stop smiling because it did very strange and frightening things inside him, not to mention the way his skin crawled whenever his heart jumped each time she did. "It's not true."

Draco sighed quietly, as he looked at her. This time, he couldn't help but to give in and observe her.

Right away, he knew she was just... different. Something else that he had never come across in his life. He had never seen anyone smile like she did, and he had never seen anyone else who had eyes that sparkled and danced so brightly like hers did. She wasn't gorgeous, not even near it, but she wasn't ugly, either. But... there was just something about her that intrigued him. Maybe it was the fire in her he had seen when she had argued so fantastically with Weasley that one day, or the way she could be so kind one minute and so strong and stern the next. Or maybe it was her cleverness that always managed to irk him, when he saw that she had beaten him to the highest grade, yet again. She wasn't like other girls, and that made him respect her more, despite his daily reoccurring arguments with himself that often revolved around her and her filthy blood. And, he had only realized this a few days ago; he had let his hate for her eat up the fact that he was impressed with the russet-haired Head Girl.

He knew that she would really be something once they graduated from this bloody school and set a foot into the real world with real opportunities, rather than being locked up in some boring castle all year. He hated to admit it, but her cleverness and determination was going to make her successful, even with her dirty blood, in the Wizarding World.

"Well, I think you handled the hotheaded Weasel very well," he suddenly said to her, without a mocking tone. "He deserved it. He deserved more, but you had to stop there, which left me in great disappointment." To his surprise, Hermione laughed, and did not scold him for his name calling of her friend. It struck Draco really odd, so much that it baffled him, that he had just made fun of her little friends since the start of this conversation, and not once had she scolded him or threatened to hex him.

"Thanks, Malfoy," she chuckled. "He can be a bit..."

"Pig-headed? Unreasonable? Irrational? Bloody stupid? Come on, Granger."

"... Irrational," she admitted. "But he's a good friend, and he's really good to Harry." Draco sneered, feeling his guard and cold shield set again, his gray eyes darkening to a frosty color. Somehow, her mentioning Potter ruined everything. Of course, he hated him with all his being so there was really no hidden reason at why the mentioning of the bloody scar head would irk him so much that he turned back to that same infamous bastard persona.

"Harry bloody Potter? Is that all you care about? Good God, Granger, do you have a life at all without that wanker?" Hermione stiffened, her gaze narrowing at the sunset. She felt something snap inside her, as her conscience started shouting at her again, just as it had before she tuned it out.

'We all know that a civilized conversation could never last between me and Malfoy,' she told herself bitterly. 'I try to act decent towards him, not once telling him off for insulting Ron, and he... asks me if I have a life without Harry! Great!'

Suddenly she felt her exhaustion return, as she closed her eyes. It was always like this. Her weariness would fade for a few moments and then it would return. She didn't know why or how, but when it returned, it brought her farther down than she had been before. She closed her eyes tighter, feeling waves of heat lap in her throat and inside her neck, feeling a bit dizzy. Her mind was swirling and spinning faster than usual, her breathing cutting into ragged and short breaths, and she knew that it hadn't felt like this all those times before.

'All those all-nighters, Hermione, they can't be good for you....' a voice echoed in her head.

When the feeling subsided, she opened her eyes slowly. She felt weaker now.

'Merlin,' she thought to herself, 'when did it get like this? It's getting worse.'

She remembered that she hadn't had a peaceful nightly slumber in weeks. Hermione shook her head, oblivious that Draco was still there beside her. She had tried to fall asleep every night, but it would never come. She would feel dreadfully exhausted and drained, but she could never fall asleep. It frustrated her so many times she wanted to scream, but by the end of the day, she was just too tired. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way. It didn't make sense. Sure, she had been thinking about a number of things, the incident and Draco, but it wasn't enough to keep her awake all these nights. Well, at least she thought so.

The only upside to all of this was that she had started growing back into her skin again. Ever since her argument with Ron in the Great Hall, she felt more determined to succeed in her studies. She didn't want to admit it, but Ron had lit a fire inside her that day, mostly rage and annoyance, but it worked.

"Granger?" Hermione hesitated, before she turned to him. She knew she had to head over to Madam Pomfrey's to get some sort of sleeping draught if she didn't want to just suddenly faint walking in the corridors one day.

"Malfoy, I think... I've got to go to the Infirmary," she said to him. Draco's expression didn't change, but Hermione saw flecks of curiosity appear in them. There was something else, but she couldn't make it out quickly enough for they disappeared just as fast as they had come up. "I've got to get something from Madam Pomfrey," she said slowly, forgetting his earlier remark. "I'll see you around, okay?"

And without another word, she turned and walked down the corridor.

Draco watched her leave wordlessly, his eyes firm on her retreating back. When she had turned to go down a flight of stairs and was out of his sight, he sighed and turned back to the setting sun. He observed the view, but his heart was not in it, as his thoughts were swarming over another matter.

He had noticed something about her, something odd, as she had been thinking after he had said his comment about Potter. Her gaze had been fixed on the sunset, but Draco saw that her eyes had some sort of dreamy, far away but determined, dark look, and knew that she was thinking of other things. He had also noticed the way she had closed her eyes and the way her grip had tightened on the balcony arm, as if she had been clinging onto it... from falling.

Draco felt his eyebrows furrow, as the sun had slowly set itself and was now almost gone behind the snowy hills.

He had seen her, never ceasing his observations over the past days. Sure, the old Know-it-all Granger had returned, and he had heard everyone sigh in relief for the first time when she had returned to answering every question, for they all were clueless about the subject and the Professor would call on them instead of her. But she hadn't completely changed back to her normal annoying self, and he knew that to be true. First, the golden trio was now always separated and now he saw her chatting and talking to some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, which increased her popularity and knowingly changed some people's opinion about her. Second, ever since the incident, he would catch her looking more than exhausted and weary, even in class and occasionally at meals. And everyday she would close her eyes more than a few times, and he would also see her hands grip the table hard. He knew right away that she hadn't had any sleep at all since their little spat in the Hospital Wing, and he felt guilty.

Draco swallowed hard, feeling a bothersome feeling start to pound and spread inside him.

It wasn't normal for a bloody Malfoy to blame himself. They caused destruction, broken hearts and chaos, but they made sure that no one could ever point it back to them. Not anyone important, anyway. But Malfoys did what they had to do, no exceptions, and they thought no more about the matter after it was done and fulfilled. Guilt and shame were born out of their vocabulary and emotional body, as well as love and sympathy of any kind. A Malfoy didn't feel for anyone below him except disgust and, maybe when he or she was feeling nice, pity.

But... guilt was never in his plans. Concern he was born without.

So why was it that he was feeling all these things so strongly now? And for Granger?

oooooooooo

Hermione quickly walked to the Hospital Wing, eager to get to Madam Pomfrey for the potion. Just the thought of a nice, satisfying and sweet slumber made her walk faster and then start into a jog.

She reached the Hospital Wing with a smile on her face, out of breath. To her surprise, Dumbledore was there, talking to Madam Pomfrey. They halted their conversation as she walked in, as Madam Pomfrey looked over at her in curiosity and concern.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Dumbledore smiled. Hermione caught her breath as she tried to shallow it back to its regular pace. "What a joy to see you here. I was just talking to Poppy about you."

"Professor," Hermione nodded. She walked on ahead, until she was before Madam Pomfrey. Madam Pomfrey observed her quietly.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" she asked. "What can I do for you?" Hermione looked over uneasily to a smiling Dumbledore, and then turned back to the Medi-Witch.

"I was wondering if I could have some sleeping draught," Hermione said quietly. Luckily enough, Madam Pomfrey nodded and did not ask for her to repeat it.

"Of course," she said. "The professors have been talking about you," Hermione felt her face heat up, as she saw Dumbledore nod his head in agreement out of the corner of her eye. "They've noticed how you always seemed tired, and apparently they're right. Very well, then. I'll be back with your draught." Hermione nodded as the nurse walked away, leaving her alone with Dumbledore. She sighed, feeling uncomfortable.

"You know, Miss Granger, you are an excellent student, believe me when I say so, but studying all night in place of sleeping won't do you any good at all," he smiled. Hermione felt her face flush, as she looked over at Dumbledore.

"People have told me so," she said. "But that isn't the case now. I study, but the Sandman seems to be refusing to visit me in the evenings. It isn't very pleasant to be studying when you're weary," she sighed.

"No, of course not," he agreed. Just then, he cleared his throat. "Now, on other matters, Miss Granger, I was wondering how far you've gone with my plan."

Hermione looked at him, baffled.

"Plan?" she asked, confused. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Yes, from our Heads meeting several weeks ago. You and Mister Malfoy were present, if I remember correctly." Hermione froze, as she suddenly remembered.

'Of course!' her voice shouted mentally, as Hermione fought the urge to smack herself on the forehead. 'The plans! His plans! The plans we were supposed to work with and construct more arms to! How could I have forgotten? I've been wallowing in my own guilt and everything else that I bloody forgot to think about it! I am such a stupid, forgetful, moron!'

"Oh," she said weakly, embarrassed. "Yeah, your plans. I remember."

"Yes, how is that going? Mister Malfoy isn't giving you trouble, I hope?" Hermione shook her head quickly.

"No, no of course not," she said hurriedly, flustered. "But we've been a bit behind on the plans and we still have to consult the Prefects, but I'll assure you we'll catch up and get everything on track," she promised. "I am terribly sorry, Headmaster. We forgot, and with the whole Herbology incident--" Dumbledore waved his hand, motioning to her that she needn't go on.

"No need for the apology, Miss Granger," he smiled. "I trust your word and I know very well that everyone forgets. I know the Herbology accident left things sort of unstable for everyone, and I do expect that you and Mister Malfoy will get things done. After all, I believe that I chose the Head Boy and Girl correctly. You and Mister Malfoy make an excellent team, and I'm sure you'll blow us all away."

Hermione nodded, trying to swallow the sudden dryness that resided in her mouth.

"We'll try our best," she croaked. Dumbledore smiled, as Hermione heard the oncoming footsteps of Madam Pomfrey with her requested sleeping draught.

"That's all I ask for," he assured her. Hermione nodded again, uncertain and trying to think of how they were going to get things done quickly enough.

"Miss Granger?" Hermione looked up to see Madam Pomfrey with a blue bottle in her hands. "Take this right before you head to bed, and you'll be just fine." Hermione took the bottle, and thanked her. She bid their Headmaster and Madam Pomfrey goodbye, before she headed out of the Infirmary.

Out in the empty corridor, she broke into a run.