Swept From the Past

Chapter 46: Harry's Spring Ball -- part two

Burns Apparated to her quarters. Damn! Why hadn't she reacted earlier? Why had she let Snape kiss her again? She'd been weak. She had even returned his kisses. The impulse had been too strong. Burns sat on her bed and closed her eyes.

Snape was toying with her as he had done before, and he was enjoying the game. And she was falling into the trap like a foolish teenaged girl.

How could she be so weak, although she knew who Snape was? She remembered what had happened on Hallowe'en. How could she forget?

Burns took a deep breath and swallowed her anger. She shook her head, trying not to think of that awful day. All that didn't matter. She had to protect Harry until the end and to return to the Ball. She had a drink of Firewhisky and stood up. Then she arranged her make-up and left.

Several minutes later, she entered the Great Hall again. She cast a glance around. Harry was moving on the dance floor with Ginny. Everything was all right.

The Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher served herself a drink, then sat on a chair. After a few minutes, she felt a presence beside her. Lupin.

"It's a nice evening," he said. "Don't you think so?"

She didn't reply, pretending not to have heard his remark, but she sighed inwardly. Her reaction would hurt Lupin, but she didn't have a choice. Things had changed. She had learnt to survive alone, without any attachment. Attachments would make her weak. And she was a danger to anyone close to her. She could wound or kill Lupin without noticing it. She was too dangerous and couldn't risk having something like that happen. Her decision was for the best. Seeing her dying would hurt Lupin more anyway.

"Professor Burns, isn't it?" Lupin continued. "I don't believe we've met."

Burns turned her head and stared at Lupin. She was confused.

"Remus Lupin," he said. "I taught Defence Against the Dark Arts in this school three years ago."

Burns raised an eyebrow. What was he playing at?

Lupin paused. "But maybe you would prefer me to call you Captain Burns?" He waited for an answer.

"It will do," Burns grumbled. She turned her head to stare at the dance floor again.

"So, Captain Burns," Lupin continued. "May I ask where you attended school?"

Where... what? Burns stared at Lupin again. So he was acting as if they'd never met before? At the beginning of the year, she'd said that she didn't know him. Now he was using her words against her? Damn!

"Hogwarts," she replied coldly.

"What a coincidence," Lupin responded. "I was in Hogwarts too." He paused. "Which year?"

"A long time ago," Burns retorted. "A long time before you were born. I'm an old woman."

He wanted to play? Fine. He wouldn't be the only one...

"Really?" Lupin asked. He looked amused. Burns was not. "You seem so young," he continued.

"It's because I'm a vampire," Burns responded lazily. "Vampires don't get old."

"Then you should get along with Professor Snape," Lupin said. "Some people say he's a vampire too."

Burns' fists clenched. "Professor Snape and I don't get along," she said sharply. "In fact, we hate each other deeply, and it will never change."

"I understand," Lupin said.

Fine. Would Lupin shut up now?

"I don't like him either," Lupin continued.

Burns was surprised by the werewolf's response. So he encouraged her decision to push Snape away?

Lupin smiled. "Schoolboy grudges," he said. "I've never seen anyone so disagreeable. Most of the students don't like him either. They call him 'the old bat of the dungeons...' Probably because he spends most of his time there. He almost never leaves the castle. I wonder why..."

"Hmmm," Burns replied. She had never seen Lupin so talkative about anyone else. He never used to criticise anyone either... Where was the trap?

"An old friend of mine called him a bastard," Lupin continued. "He was right."

"Yes," Burns replied. "Snape's a real bastard."

"But I'm not objective," Lupin added. "I'm mad at him. Because of his mistakes, I've lost my little sister."

Burns frowned. Here was the point. Lupin was trying to make up with her. So... When Snape was not around, it was Lupin's turn to send her hidden messages... It was tiring.

"May I assume that she's dead?" Burns replied, to confuse Lupin.

"Yes," he responded with assurance. "She was gravely ill, but she didn't want me to know it."

Burns kept silent. So Lupin knew...

"She even said she didn't want to talk to me anymore," he continued.

"That's sad," Burns replied without any emotion in her voice. She yawned. Lupin was a shy person, who disliked bothering people. He would feel ill at ease and leave soon.

"Yes," Lupin responded. "Very sad. She hurt me. I know that I couldn't have done anything for her, but I feel guilty now. I will always feel guilty."

"Guilty?" Burns repeated. She screwed up her eyes. "Why would you feel guilty? It was her choice, not yours."

"I wish I could have been there for her," Lupin replied. "Now she's not here anymore. I regret I wasn't at her side when... the worst happened. I guess she tried to protect me, but she made a mistake. Pushing me away was the worst thing to do."

Burns' throat tightened. If she spoke now, emotion would show in her voice. She took a gulp of Firewhisky to gain time and find strength. Then she took hold of herself.

"It's too late now," she replied coldly. "As you said, your sister is dead. And death is a part of life. You must accept it."

"And you must live before dying," Lupin responded seriously.

"What does that have to do with the subject?" Burns snapped. If Lupin thought he would bring her to a direct discussion or give her a morals lesson, he was wrong!

Lupin smiled. "There's no link," he replied. "Not really. Speaking of that made me think of Professor Dumbledore's advice. He's a wise man. Take Professor Snape for example: He has forgotten how to live."

He paused and looked her straight in the eye.

"I've never seen anyone so miserable," he continued. "He looked happier when he was younger. I wonder what happened to him. It seems that he'd lost all that mattered to him the day Harry defeated Voldemort."

It was odd to see Lupin on Snape's side... But Snape had obviously lied to him and Dumbledore.

"You should write for the Daily Prophet," Burns replied ironically. "With all the information you get on people..."

Lupin didn't seem to be put out. "Maybe," he responded. "I have good sources. That's why I pity Severus, although I don't like him." He paused again. "Everyone makes mistakes. And sometimes people misunderstand. For more than twelve years, I thought that a great friend of mine was a murderer. I was wrong. Sometimes, the truth is not what it seems."

The truth was not what it seemed? Easy to say from Lupin's point of view. Lupin had thought Sirius was a murderer only because of the clues left by Pettigrew. He hadn't lived the scene!

No misunderstanding for Burns. Everything had been clear...

Lupin stood up. "It was a pleasure to speak with you, Captain Burns," he said, holding out his hand to her.

What? Was he inviting her to dance?

"I don't dance," she replied after a few seconds.

"So maybe you shake hands to say goodbye," Lupin replied with an amused expression.

Burns frowned and reluctantly shook his hand.

"Have a nice evening," Lupin said, leaving.

Burns opened her hand. A bit of paper was enclosed in it. Lupin had taken advantage of the situation to give it to her.

She read it:

You had your reasons for pushing me away, Katarina. I understand that you don't want me to see you dying, although I disapprove of your decision. But at least I have answers now.

But what about you? There's a way for you to know the truth about your history with Severus, and you won't take it? Although I don't like him, I can't deny that he's madly in love with you. Give him a chance to explain himself. I'm not talking about forgiving, but about knowing the truth. What do you have to lose?

Take care,

Remus, your dear friend.

Burns sighed. She couldn't blame Lupin for his good intentions. He didn't know what had happened to her. No, he didn't know...

Burns felt moisture in her eyes. She closed her eyelids and gulped. No one knew the pain she had felt when she had discovered the truth... When she had lost all her reasons to live...

***

London, Hallowe'en, Katarina's first year as an Auror.

Katarina stood up, ready to face her adversaries. She refused to die on the ground, like a coward. She promised that, even if she was tortured, she would still face them. She would not plead.

"See what you have here, Severus!" Bellatrix said with a cruel laugh, her wand pointed at Katarina.

Katarina stopped breathing. She couldn't believe her ears. S... Severus? Bellatrix had uttered the name...?

"Severus...?" Katarina murmured, puzzled. "No, it can't... Sirius... Sirius lied...? Severus is not...?"

She hardly breathed. No, Severus was not a Death Eater. Sirius had said nonsense!

"Yes, he is, Burns," Bellatrix replied sadistically. "See, your little fiancé is one of us... he's a great actor, don't you think? He made you believe he loved you for four years! You even thought he wanted to marry you!" She laughed again.

No, Katarina didn't want to believe that. Bellatrix Lestrange lied! Severus was not a Death Eater! He loved her! They were about to get married, they had a future together! It couldn't be true!

"Of course," Bellatrix said, "making you drink a Love Philtre helped him a little." She giggled.

A... Love Philtre? The words went slowly into Katarina's head. No... it couldn't be... true? The love she felt for Severus was... real. No! Their love was real!

"Come on, Severus," Bellatrix said, "take off your mask for the little girl ... I think you've been waiting for this moment for four years, haven't you? I guess it was unbearable to spend time with this filthy half-blood Gryffindor!!! You must have been sick each time you touched her!"

Bellatrix and the man who had disarmed Katarina burst into laughter.

The third Death Eater made a few steps and took off his mask. Katarina gasped. It was Severus. Not the one who stared at her warmly, but someone calm with a very controlled attitude and a cold stare.

Then the truth hit Katarina. The world collapsed around her. She almost lost her balance. Everything made sense. She understood why he seemed to hate her at Hogwarts. Why he had kissed her in the library, although he used to be so mean with her. His incomprehensible comportment, his sharp responses, his cold attitude, his letters. And why he was so reluctant to make love. Sirius was right, Severus had just used her. He had never loved her.

Katarina didn't utter a word. There was nothing to say. Nothing. She didn't even sob. She just looked at Severus. All her hopes, all her beliefs had been destroyed. Her heart was broken.

Slowly, she took her engagement ring off her finger and threw it away with a nonchalant movement. The ring tinkled on the ground. The last echo of her life of illusions, the last beat of her heart that continued into nothingness. It didn't mean anything now. Nothing had importance anymore.

Suddenly, she felt a horrible pain in her breast, as if she had been knocked hard in her heart. She felt the warmth of her body disappear, all her love freeze in her. She hiccupped and let escape a moan, her eyes shut. But she didn't want to show how much it hurt. She clenched her jaw and wouldn't allow herself to cry. Pain and despair invaded her. The love of her life had never loved her. He had just taken advantage of her. He had just made her drink a Love Philtre. Something to control her feelings. Something to control her. He was just a criminal, like those who had killed her parents!

She had a painful lump in her throat; she just wanted to disappear. It was more than a betrayal; it was the most terrifying torture ever. Half-conscious, she opened her eyes again. She wasn't aware of the world around her. She wasn't scared anymore, she had nothing to lose.

"Won't you cry a little?" Bellatrix Lestrange asked. "I'm so disappointed... I know!" she exclaimed, giggling. "Maybe I should introduce you to the Death Eater who killed your parents. You already know him... he teaches at Hogwarts..."

The Death Eater on her left stepped forward and removed his mask. Blazy.

Katarina turned toward him, then stared back at Severus. Why? Why had he been so cruel? Why hadn't he killed her instead? She would have preferred to die. He had made her drink a Love Philtre. He knew how much she loved him, that she would have given her life for him! Why? He must have hated her deeply to want to hurt her that way! WHY? Katarina couldn't scream. Her whole body shuttered with the echo of her unvoiced screams. Those questions had mixed into an awful feeling of despair, the desire to sleep forever, to die.

"Hello, Burns," Blazy said, "it has been a long time... now you are completely alone, without the protection of silly old Dumbledore. We'll settle many things, both of us... By the way... it was a pleasure to kill your parents! I mean... your substitute parents, of course... Oh, I only killed your father. Claudius Snape took care of your mother. Burns, little bitch, look at me when I'm talking to you!" he exclaimed angrily.

Katarina had heard everything, but she couldn't detach her eyes from Severus. She observed him as if she was not in her body anymore, as if she was already dead. She didn't care about Blazy or Bellatrix, she just wanted to stare at that man she had loved so much. The man whose father had killed her mother. Now, she didn't feel any kind of love; any kind of happy feeling; she felt empty; just the deep desire to disappear, that was all.

"Burns!" Blazy shouted again. He held his wand in front of him.

"Don't forget the Dark Lord's instructions," Severus said. "He wants her powers, but not until they are mature!"

"That's true," Bellatrix replied. "And I'm sure they are now. I have a ritual to perform. Then you'll be authorized to kill her. Liga!" she exclaimed.

A few ropes came out the wall beside Katarina and wound around her wrists and ankles. Katarina was tied to the wall, her arms up. But she didn't care. There was nothing else around her anymore. The street seemed to have disappeared. Katarina didn't see anything except Bellatrix, standing close to her. The woman raised her wand.

"Now, I'll take your powers," the woman said.

"She doesn't have much power," Severus' voice said. "I observed her and I can assure you her powers are not mature yet!" He laughed. "I even wonder how she managed to become an Auror!"

"She's too stupid for that," Bellatrix said. "Maybe she slept with Moody to complete her training?" She guffawed. "How easy it'd been for you to make her drink the Love Philtre," she said. "She didn't notice anything! To marry a half-blood? That's disgusting! Tell the little girl what you think about creatures like her!"

"They're disgusting," Severus replied, disdain in his voice.

Bellatrix laughed again, joined by Blazy.

'Stupid...' 'Love Philtre...' 'didn't want to marry her...' 'Half-blood...' 'Disgusting...' It didn't hurt Katarina anymore. Nothing had importance anymore.

"The Dark Lord has given us another mission," Severus said. "I'll take care of Burns later. Put a Memory Spell on her and I'll finish the job in a few hours. She'll be happy to see her fiancé again. Do me a favour, Bella. As a wedding present, I want to be the one to kill her! After all, I ruined four years of my life with her!" he said crossly.

"All right," Bellatrix replied, "I'll let you kill her later. But first, I want her powers! With me, they'll quickly grow mature. The Dark Lord will be pleased by this initiative! He'll be happy to have them after he'll kill the Potters and their urchin!"

Lily... James... Harry... Katarina's thoughts wandered. Whatever. She didn't care. She'd be dead anyway.

"All right," Severus replied. "But don't kill her! I want to do it myself! And don't tortu--" Severus' words were cut short, silenced by Bellatrix's long laughter.

Bellatrix took a dagger out of her robes. "See, Burns," she said, "I need your blood for the ritual." She smiled horribly. "I'll take care of your pretty face. I will try softly, but in the end, you'll be disfigured."

She took her time to make a deep gash on Katarina's left cheek. Katarina's jaw clenched. It was painful. She felt the blood run down her face. Then Bellatrix made a second gash on her cheek, which crossed the first one.

"Come to think of it," Bellatrix said, "I'd like to use the Cruciatus Curse on you, just for fun." She pointed her wand at Katarina.

"Crucio!" Bellatrix exclaimed.

Katarina felt a physical pain she had never experienced before. She screamed. But the pain, how deep it was, didn't mean anything to her. She knew that torture would bring her death. She also felt she had deserved all that had happened to her. Her parents had probably been killed because of her. And Severus had used her. He had made her believe he loved her. He had made her drink a Love Philtre. And she hadn't seen anything. She was Lord Grindelwald's granddaughter. She deserved what happened to her. Katarina wanted to be consumed by her pain. She had nothing more to lose.

The pain ceased. Katarina's limbs relaxed. Her legs gave out from under her, and she lost her balance. She fell forward, held up by the ropes. Her head nodded.

"Now I'll practise the ritual, Burns," Bellatrix said. "But when it's ended, believe me, you will bleed!"

Bellatrix raised her wand and pointed it at Katarina's face. Suddenly, Katarina felt something boiling in her, like the feeling she'd had in front of Mrs. Snape. It was not a survival instinct, but the remains of something she possessed from long ago. Something she had never really dared to listen to before. At that moment, she knew she was more powerful than Bellatrix Lestrange. And, although she wanted to die, she wouldn't give Bellatrix the pleasure of torturing her. She felt fury in her; a deep, powerful fury. Her chest jumped. She stood up, still constrained by the ropes.

"Potior--" said Bellatrix. A red flash of light went out from her wand.

"Cessa!" Katarina interrupted. The flash of light faded into the air before touching her face.

"How--?"Bellatrix asked, surprised.

"Libera!" Katarina ordered. Her instinct told her she didn't need a wand to be obeyed. The ropes untied her limbs and disappeared into the wall, as if sucked up in it. Katarina freed herself. She made a sharp movement with her left arm and projected Bellatrix a few feet away. A blue energy came out of her, slowly, like a wave. Soon, it covered the whole street.

Blazy stepped forward. He held his wand in front of him, ready to attack her.

"Cruc--" he said.

He didn't have time to continue. Katarina turned her head to him and he was projected violently against the wall behind him. She held her right hand in front of her and squeezed the air; but it was his throat, not the air, that she wanted to squeeze. She felt it in her hand. He had killed her parents! He would pay for his crimes! The desire for vengeance coursed in her veins.

"H... help..." breathed Blazy.

He was pressed against the wall, one meter off of the ground, and was being strangled. Blazy tried to move but he couldn't. She wouldn't let him escape her! Katarina was enraged. She stepped toward him and released him from her grasp. He fell on the ground. Then she grabbed him by the neck, conjured a dagger, and plunged it deeply in his chest. Blazy howled. Katarina put her hand on his chest. She felt ice coming from her fingers. Blazy's body froze progressively.

"Stop!" he begged. He cried, screaming and bleeding abundantly. "Pity! I deserve to go to Azkaban! But stop, please! Pity!"

"Did you feel pity when you killed my father?" Katarina spat. "And when you saw my mother being murdered? I won't show any for you," she uttered coldly.

Soon, he turned into ice. Katarina made a sharp movement with her arm and projected his frozen body against another wall. Blazy was dead.

Then Katarina turned back to Severus and Bellatrix. She didn't care about Bellatrix. She didn't even care about that man who had toyed with her. She had deserved to be punished. To be disfigured and tortured. She was Grindelwald's granddaughter. A disgusting half-blood who had brought misfortune on her parents. Severus had used her to take her powers for You-Know-Who... for Voldemort. She didn't fear this name anymore.

Despite all her efforts, Severus had never loved her. She couldn't bring anything but death and hate. Voldemort had wanted her powers. She was evil. She felt it deeply within her. Evil... disgusting... and powerful.

Katarina didn't have time to waste with those gnats in front of her. They could be crushed without effort. She moved her hand, projecting the two Death Eaters backwards. She had something more important to do. One little thing and she would find her release. The disgusting half-blood had a wedding to celebrate...

She stared at Severus a last time. He looked terrified.

"You may kill the bride," she said, detaching her words.

Then she laughed diabolically and Disapparated with a Crack.

***

Burns' fists clenched. Why hadn't she killed Snape then? She should have made him pay for having used her... For standing by while she was tortured! How could he say he loved her? Did he think she was that stupid? She would never believe him. Never.

How could she see herself pregnant and kissing him? How could it be her deepest desire? If she hadn't escaped on Hallowe'en, he would have personally killed her! He would have enjoyed seeing her agony!

What if she hadn't followed him in Knockturn Alley? Maybe he'd have married her to have access to her wealth, and then he'd have killed her after he'd taken her powers. Naïve Katarina wouldn't have been suspicious.

Weak... she'd been weak. She hated herself for her stupidity. For having believed in her history with Snape. Foolish dreams.

Her heart ached. She emptied her glass of Firewhisky in one gulp.

Suddenly, she noticed a hand held in front of her, its palm up. She raised her eyes. Alphonso.

He was smiling. A smile that would have seduced any woman. Poor man. He didn't know the lack of effect his charms had on her. Pity for her. This man was perfect. Perfect smile, perfect body -- obviously --, perfect art of fighting... he was even kind and clever -- most of the time. Yes, he was perfect...

But nothing. Not even an ounce of attraction. No thrill when she saw him. Dullness maybe...

"What do you want, Alphonso?" she asked. She already knew the response.

"You said that you would save a dance for me," Alphonso said.

Burns stared at the man, not knowing if she would accept or not.

***

Severus Snape had left the Room of Requirement and was on the way to the Great Hall. He was still shocked by the expression of terror he had seen in Burns' eyes. Had she realised that she still loved him? Severus couldn't tell. But she'd been scared of their kiss... She'd been scared of him...

When he came to think of it, Severus realised with bitterness that it was not surprising. Burns... Katarina... must feel lost. For her, he was a Death Eater. She was convinced he had used her, betrayed her... seen her... being tortured without doing anything. Severus gulped. She saw him as a monster... as her executioner.

The first time she had willingly kissed him, she'd said that he had taken advantage of her. A good pretext. But now... she'd been in her normal state for their second kiss. No pretext anymore. And no doubt she had enjoyed their kiss. How must she feel, realising that she wanted the kisses of her executioner? Terrified, of course.

If only she knew the truth about what had really happened on Hallowe'en! If only she knew Severus had tried to save her life, although he had failed...

***

London, Hallowe'en, Severus' fourth year as a Potions assistant.

Severus, Blazy, and Bellatrix were on the way to Augusta Longbottom's house. Severus had warned the Order, so the woman had left her house and been placed under protection. Tonight's attack would fail.

Suddenly, Blazy stopped walking. Severus and Bellatrix stopped too and turned to him. What was going on?

"What's the matter?" Bellatrix asked.

Blazy laughed hard. Severus wondered why. Blazy spun around and yelled "Expelliarmus!"

The spell hit something. A wand flew away. Severus heard the sound of a body falling hard on the street. A woman suddenly appeared where no one had been before. A cloak lay on the ground a few meters from her -- an Invisibility Cloak, of course. Severus gazed at the woman. He stopped breathing when he recognised Katarina.

"Here's one for you, Bella," Blazy said. "A little distraction!"

Severus' heart beat wildly. He was terrified. What the hell was she doing here? Did she know who he was? Had she followed him? Or was it just an awful coincidence? MERLIN! WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING HERE?

"Crucio!" Blazy uttered before Severus could realise what was really going on. He was petrified.

Katarina was quicker. She rolled several times on her right and avoided the attack. A jet of light hit the place where she had been just a few seconds ago. She stood up quickly and leapt for her wand. But too late.

"Accio wand!" Bellatrix cried. The moment Katarina was about to reach her wand, it flew into Bellatrix's hand. Katarina stood up and faced the three of them with a defiant attitude.

Severus was having a nightmare. It couldn't be happening! Katarina... couldn't be here. Suddenly, the horror of the situation hit him. Bellatrix and Blazy... God, she didn't stand a chance in front of them. They would kill her.

No. Severus wouldn't let it happen. Never.

Blazy and Bellatrix were good fighters. Blazy was one of the best duellists among the Dark Lord's servants. His age gave him an experience Severus didn't have. And Bellatrix would seize an occasion for uttering the Killing Curse. A direct fight was too risky now. Severus would be disarmed quickly. And anyway, Bellatrix's wand was pointed at Katarina. Too dangerous. Severus had to find a subtle stratagem.

"See what you have here, Severus!" Bellatrix said with a cruel laugh.

Severus' heart sank. The thing he had feared so much was happening. His name had been uttered.

Katarina looked shocked. So, she didn't know... And now... Merlin, it was the worst way to learn the truth! She would never forgive him!

"Severus...?" Katarina murmured, her eyes wide opened. "No, it can't... Sirius... Sirius lied...? Severus is not...?" She seemed to have stopped breathing.

BLACK? Black, that bastard, had told her he was a Death Eater? How had the prat discovered that? Was it the bloody reason why she was here? Because of Black? There was no other logical explanation for Katarina's presence. Black was responsible. Next time Severus would see him, he would make the prat regret!

"Yes, he is, Burns," Bellatrix replied sadistically. "See, your little fiancé is one of us... he's a great actor, don't you think? He made you believe he loved you for four years! You even thought he wanted to marry you!" she laughed again. "Of course," she continued, "making you drink a Love Philtre helped him a little." Bellatrix giggled.

Severus felt an awful feeling growing inside of him. Bitch! He couldn't say anything to defend himself! Merlin, why had he not confessed everything to Katarina before?

He tried to think quickly although he was horrified. For the moment, the most important thing was to dupe Bellatrix and Blazy. Maybe he could persuade them to let her alone? And if he couldn't, he would find the right moment to attack them. They wouldn't do anything to his fiancée. He wouldn't allow it.

"Come on, Severus," Bellatrix said, "take off your mask for the little girl ... I think you've been waiting for this moment for four years, haven't you? I guess it was unbearable to spend time with this filthy half-blood Gryffindor!!! You must have been sick each time you touched her!"

Blazy and Bellatrix burst into laughter.

Severus didn't have choice. His heart broken, he made a few steps and took off his mask. Katarina gasped. Severus tried to keep a calm appearance, hiding his terror and shame. Bellatrix Lestrange had just ruined his whole life.

Katarina didn't utter a word. She didn't drop a tear. She just looked at him, an expression of despair in her eyes. Then, after several seconds, she took her engagement ring off her finger and threw it away with a nonchalant movement. The symbol of their shared love.

Severus swallowed. Their marriage was over. The ring tinkled on the ground. A terrible sound.

Suddenly, Katarina hiccupped and let escape a moan, her eyes shut. It looked as if she had been physically injured, as if something had broken inside her. Severus resisted to the urge to rush over to her and take her in his arms.

Although she seemed to suffer, Katarina didn't cry. She clenched her jaw. Then she opened her eyes again, which had turned expressionless.

"Won't you cry a little?" Bellatrix asked. "I'm so disappointed... I know!" she exclaimed, giggling. "Maybe I should introduce you to the Death Eater who killed your parents. You already know him... he teaches at Hogwarts..."

Blazy stepped forward.

"Hello, Burns," Blazy said, "it has been a long time... now you are completely alone, without the protection of this silly old Dumbledore, we'll settle many things, both of us... By the way... it was a pleasure to kill your parents! I mean... your substitute parents, of course... Oh, I only killed your father. Claudius Snape took care of your mother. Burns, little bitch, look at me when I'm talking to you!" he exclaimed angrily.

Katarina still stared at Severus, impassive, a cold light in her eyes. Severus was desperate. She was not supposed to learn the terrible truth that way! Now she knew his father had killed her mother! And Severus couldn't say anything to make her understand he was ashamed of what his father had done...

"Burns!" Blazy shouted again. He held his wand in front of him.

"Don't forget the Dark Lord's instructions," Severus said. "He wants her powers, but not until they are mature!"

Time. Severus needed time. Bellatrix's and Blazy's wands were both pointed at Katarina.

"That's true," Bellatrix replied. "And I'm sure they are now. I have a ritual to perform. Then you'll be authorized to kill her. Liga!" she exclaimed.

No! Severus squeezed his wand hard. He had to do something! 'Keep control,' he thought. 'Find a solution.'

A few ropes came out from the wall behind Katarina and wound around her wrists and ankles. Katarina was tied to the wall, her arms up.

Bellatrix raised her wand. "Now, I'll take your powers," she said.

Severus felt panic. He had an idea, but... Anyway, it was too late now. With a heavy heart, he spoke...

"She doesn't have much power," he said. "I observed her and I can assure you her powers are not mature yet!" He laughed. "I even wonder how she managed to become an Auror!"

Laughing although he had lost everything. Being mean... was the best way to convince Bellatrix and save Katarina's life. She would hate him, but she'd be alive. Keeping her alive was the most important thing.

"She's too stupid for that," Bellatrix said. "Maybe she slept with Moody to complete her training?" She guffawed.

Severus' jaw clenched. How betrayed Katarina must feel! She had waited for him, never been unfaithful to him, and now... he and Bellatrix were making fun of her, saying that she was the sort of bitch who slept with her superiors to keep her job. What a bastard he was! He wished he could make Bellatrix pay for that!

"How easy it'd been for you to make her drink the Love Philtre," Bellatrix continued. "She didn't notice anything! To marry a half-blood? That's disgusting! Tell the little girl what you think about creatures like her!"

Severus swallowed the painful lump in his throat. He felt nauseous. "They're disgusting," he replied reluctantly.

Bellatrix laughed again. Blazy imitated her. Then Blazy looked around, as if checking to see if Katarina had been followed. Severus stared at Bellatrix again.

"The Dark Lord has given us another mission," Severus said. "I'll take care of Burns later. Put a Memory Spell on her and I'll finish the job in a few hours. She'll be happy to see her fiancé again. Do me a favour, Bella. As a wedding present, I want to be the one to kill her! After all, I ruined four years of my life with her!" he said crossly.

His anger wasn't feigned, just his reply. Because of Bellatrix, he had ruined the four wonderful years he had spent with Kat. Katarina would always think of those years as lies. But... if her memory was modified, maybe he would be able to repair the damage?

"All right," Bellatrix replied without turning around, "I'll let you kill her later. But first, I want her powers! That's an order from the Dark Lord. He'll be happy to have them after he'll kill the Potters and their urchin!"

The Potters what? Severus only knew that the Longbottoms would be attacked tonight. So the Potters were on the list too? Severus didn't care. Only Katarina was important.

Severus understood he couldn't say anything. An order from the Dark Lord couldn't be discussed. And Bellatrix's wand was still pointed at Katarina. He preferred sacrificing her powers rather than her life. And maybe he'd be able to attack Bellatrix before she'd practise the ritual? She was facing Katarina, so maybe he could attack her now when she couldn't see him. Severus cast a quick look around. Blazy had left the street. Perfect.

"All right," Severus replied. "But don't kill her! I want to do it myself! And don't tortu--" he said, raising his wand. Suddenly, an unexpected spell disarmed him. His wand flew away, making him gasp. He felt a pressure of a wand on his neck. Severus felt the colour drain from his face. He was caught.

"You look agitated, Severus," Blazy whispered. "Fascinating, the power of those Invisibility Cloaks, isn't it?"

Severus gulped. Katarina's Invisibility Cloak... It was the reason why Blazy had disappeared from view. Damn! Why hadn't Severus thought of that?

Blazy removed the cloak and threw it on the ground as if it was a rag.

"Worn by a half-blood," he added disdainfully. "Disgusting."

Severus was enraged. He wished he could hex Blazy. But the pressure of the wand increased.

"Do you like the spectacle?" Blazy said softly. "I suggest you keep quiet, or you'll be dead."

Severus hardly breathed, staring helplessly at the scene that was happening in front of his eyes. He couldn't say anything. Dead, he wouldn't be able to help Katarina.

Bellatrix took a dagger out of her robes. Severus realised what would come. She'd torture the woman he loved.

"See, Burns," Bellatrix said, "I need your blood to make the ritual. I'll take care of your pretty face. I will try softly, but in the end, you'll be disfigured."

He was terrified. Bellatrix was about to spoil Katarina's face! Nooo!

Blazy moved closer. "I have always been suspicious about you," he said softly in his ear, "I was sure you had feelings for that girl. But today, she'll be tortured in front of you. Tortured until death."

Severus was frantic. What could he do to save her? He couldn't even move!

Bellatrix took her time to make a deep gash on Katarina's left cheek. Severus saw the blood run down her face. He felt the muscles in his cheek spasm, as if his face had been mutilated. Bellatrix made a second gash on Kat's cheek, which crossed the first one.

All was Severus' fault! If only he had told her the truth! Now she'd be tortured because of him! She'd die because of him!

"Come to think of it," Bellatrix said, "I'd like to use the Cruciatus Curse on you, just for fun." She pointed her wand at Katarina.

The Cruciatus Curse? Nooo! Severus didn't want Katarina to endure this. Not her! He deserved to be tortured. He was a traitor. His soul was dark. But not hers! He didn't want her to be buried in darkness! Please God, NOT HER!!!

"Crucio!" Bellatrix exclaimed.

Katarina screamed. Severus gasped for air. He would have begged to be cursed in her place!

Bellatrix stopped. Severus saw Katarina's body held up by the ropes. She looked like a puppet, moved by Bellatrix's wishes. Katarina's head nodded.

"Now I'll practise the ritual, Burns," Bellatrix said. "But when it's ended, believe me, you will bleed!"

Bellatrix raised her wand and pointed it at Katarina's face. Nooo! Severus closed his eyes. He couldn't watch.

"Potior--" Bellatrix said.

"Cessa!" Severus heard Katarina's voice order. He opened his eyes. Katarina had stopped Bellatrix's attack. But how had she managed to...? Severus felt hope.

"How--?" Bellatrix asked, surprised.

"Libera!" Katarina shouted.

Severus felt the pressure on his neck cease. Blazy stepped forward, his wand at the ready. Since Severus was disarmed, he wasn't a menace. Merlin! Where was his wand?

Severus didn't search for his wand. He didn't move. His eyes were fixed on Katarina. The ropes untied from her limbs and disappeared into the wall, as if sucked up in it. Katarina freed herself. She made a sharp movement with her left arm and projected Bellatrix a few feet away. A blue energy came out of her, slowly, like a wave. Soon, it covered the whole street. Severus breathed quickly. How did she manage to free herself? What was happening to her? Had her powers matured? She looked strange, animated by a fury he had never seen in her. She looked formidable. Severus was scared.

Blazy held his wand in front of him, in order to attack her.

"Cruc--" he said.

He didn't have time to continue. Katarina turned her head to him and he was projected violently against the wall behind him. She held her right hand in front of her and squeezed it as if she was fighting against an invisible force which resisted.

"H... help..." breathed Blazy.

He was pressed against the wall, one meter off of the ground, and was being strangled. Bellatrix lunged forward to attack, but Katarina repelled her, sending Bellatrix's own spells rebounding on her. Severus was horrified. Kat was going to kill Blazy! She was going to be a murderer!

Severus noticed his wand on the ground. He quickly picked it up and tried to move closer, but he couldn't. An invisible force was also holding him back. Kat stepped toward Blazy and released him from her grasp. He fell on the ground. Then she grabbed him by the neck, conjured a dagger, and plunged it deeply in his chest. Blazy howled. She put her hand on his chest. Blazy's body transformed into ice progressively.

Severus gasped.

"Stop!" Blazy begged. He cried, screaming and bleeding abundantly. "Pity! I deserve to go to Azkaban! But stop, please! Pity!"

"Did you feel pity when you killed my father?" Katarina spat. "And when you saw my mother being murdered? I won't show any for you," she uttered coldly.

Severus was shocked. Katarina was so cold, so frightening... so different... Because of him!

Soon, Blazy was completely frozen. Then Katarina made a sharp movement with her arm and projected his icy body against another wall. No doubt that Blazy was dead.

What had she done?! Severus was more than panicked now. Kat, his Kat, wouldn't have killed Blazy! She would have showed pity! Severus didn't care about Blazy; but he knew Katarina had done something irreparable. She had killed a man! What had she become? Because of Severus' stupidity, Katarina was an assassin!

Katarina turned back to Severus and Bellatrix. She looked insane. A red light flashed in her eyes. She moved her hand, projecting Severus and Bellatrix backwards. Severus stood up as quickly as possible.

Katarina stared at him. Severus gulped. Would she say something? His own words were lacking. What could he say after what had happened?

"You may kill the bride," she said, detaching her words. Then she laughed diabolically and Disapparated with a Crack.

Katarina's last words pierced Severus' heart like sharpened knives. He felt desperate. Empty. He had spied for years because he wanted to protect her. But he had failed. In the end, he had lost everything. Katarina would never trust him or love him again. All that had been broken could never be repaired. Never.

"Blazy!" Bellatrix shouted. She stood up and ran to the wall. "No!" she yelled. "That bitch killed him!"

Severus knelt down on the ground and took the engagement ring he had offered to Katarina. He squeezed it in his hand. It was over. He would never be able to bring her back. A hole of darkness opened under him. He had lost her.

Bellatrix turned to him after a few minutes. She appeared to be still in shock. "What are you doing, Severus?" she asked. "What are you holding? I... I... can't believe..." she stuttered.

Severus put the closed hand that contained the ring on his heart. He shut his eyes. Kat... Their relationship was over. Over.

"You... and her...?" Bellatrix repeated, dumbfounded, her eyes wide opened. "It was...?"

Severus raised his wand. "Stupefy!" he screamed.

A powerful jet of red light emerged from his wand and knocked Bellatrix. She hadn't been prepared for this attack.

Severus stood up. "Obliviate!" he exclaimed. The spell hit Bellatrix.

She mustn't remember what she'd just seen: Severus' betrayal and Katarina's crime. Bellatrix would try to take revenge on Katarina. And Severus couldn't tolerate it. He hated Bellatrix! He hated Black! One day, the bastard would pay for that. He would pay...

Severus stared at comatose Bellatrix. No, he couldn't let that bitch live! What Dumbledore would say didn't matter. She had tortured Katarina! Severus raised his wand, ready to utter the Killing Curse.

But suddenly, a horrible feeling invaded Severus. Katarina. Something had happened to Katarina. That smell... A fire was burning somewhere. Severus raised his eyes. A great amount of smoke had appeared in the cloudless evening sky. It came from... North... where he lived with Katarina. Without thinking, Severus Disapparated.

When he Apparated on the street in front of the row of flats, the building was on fire. The acrid smoke made him choke and stung his eyes. A dozen wizards, wands pointed at the building, were trying to extinguish the fire with streaming spells. Severus realised that many floors had already collapsed.

"NO!!!" he screamed, running to the building. A man prevented him from approaching.

"Don't!" the man exclaimed. "There's nothing left here! No one! Everyone has evacuated the building!"

"Katarina!" Severus yelled. He pushed the wizard violently.

Another wizard grabbed his arm. Severus tried to hex him, but a third wizard disarmed him.

"My fiancée is inside!" Severus bellowed. "Let me in!"

"Sir," the second man shouted. He shook Severus. "There's no one in the building! No one! We used the Viva Persona Circa Charm!"

"What?" Severus gasped. His eyes fixed the building. The cruel reality hit him. The Viva Persona Cir... A charm used to locate people... Used to locate living people...

"Where did the fire start?" someone asked.

"On the fourth floor," a voice replied.

The fourth floor... Katarina's flat. Severus turned away and wandered aimlessly, without a thought to where he was going. When he reached a deserted alley, he fell on his knees on the hard ground, buried his face in his hands, and sobbed.

"She's dead..." he repeated. "She's dead... because of me... I killed her..."

***

Severus' heart tightened at this memory. The worst memory in his life. The day he had lost everything. For five years, he had thought he had killed the woman he loved. Katarina didn't know his version... She had never wanted to listen to him. But if he were in her place, would he have listened to her? Of course not. His little stubborn pirate was as stubborn as he.

***

20