Swept From the Past

Chapter 44: Before the Storm -- part two

Severus Snape watched the first years file from their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Burns had already entered her office, so Severus left the classroom. He would speak to her later. At least he would try... again... But when he turned the corner, someone caught his attention: Alphonso.

Severus scowled. The git was walking in the passageway. He acted very self-confidently, a big smile plastered on his face. A few girls turned around to peep at him. Severus would have sworn that Alphonso winked at a seventh year girl.

What a bastard! Such attitude was completely inappropriate at Hogwarts! Hadn't the cretin learned his lesson from the accident he'd had a month ago? The prat was strutting in the school like Potter and Black used to do! Severus fought against the desire to hex him. With all those students around, he couldn't do anything.

He decided to follow that coarse Casanova as discreetly as possible. The git shouldn't realise that Severus was spying on him! Although the Potions master was not surprised to see Alphonso heading toward the Defence Against the Dark Arts class, his jaw and fists clenched.

The door of the Defence Against the Dark Class was already opened. Alphonso entered. Severus approached the door silently, hid behind the wall and listened. Alphonso knocked at Burns' office door. Severus heard him enter and close the door again.

The Potions master quickly entered the classroom and stuck his ear to the closed door to listen to the conversation. He wouldn't allow anything to happen between his ex-fiancée and the git! He heard Alphonso and Burns speak.

"Capt'n," Alphonso said. "You asked me to come?"

"Yes," Burns replied. She paused. "Your last intelligence report was interesting. Nice work. But I'd like to know how you got your information."

"As usual," Alphonso replied. "With my natural charm."

Bloody bastard! The way Alphonso had uttered the sentence, Severus could almost see him grinning.

"Well," Burns responded, "I disapprove of the way you use your natural charm," she said ironically.

"But," Alphonso replied, "it's the best way to get information."

"Alphonso," Burns retorted. "I have trouble with the idea of men seducing innocent women to obtain information."

Severus gulped. She was referring to their history.

"They're not really innocent," Alphonso responded. "Their husbands are busy with their mistresses, so they want company. And I don't force them. Information is a bonus."

What? That bastard was a gigolo?

"Narcissa Malfoy didn't seem to mind," Alphonso continued. "When her husband was imprisoned, she felt very lonely. Luckily, she spoke in her sleep."

Narcissa? The git had seduced Narcissa? Severus raised an eyebrow. Knowing her, it was not surprising.

"I don't care about your personal life," Burns hissed. "I don't even care if you seduce Death Eaters' wives and hear them speak in their sleep. It's not my problem if those women and you have strange morals. But when I hear that you seduced an eighteen-year-old girl, it makes me angry. I don't care if her father is a suspected Death Eater with an important position at the Ministry. And don't tell me this is not true! I've heard the whole crew speak about it. You've boasted of having seduced the poor girl!"

Severus' upper lip curled. Burns didn't appreciate Alphonso's attitude! Revenge! What would she do to the cretin if she saw him grinning at the girls in the school? Severus hoped it would happen soon, just to have the pleasure of witnessing his punishment.

"I..." Alphonso said.

"You didn't even give her an explanation..." Burns continued. "Do you realise what she feels now? If you want to become my second-in-command again, you'd better go and speak to her. Tell her that you're a bloody bastard and that you don't deserve her!"

"I really thought that she was a Death Eater," Alphonso replied. "Like those who killed Sarah... I thought it didn't matter if she suffered."

Sarah? What was Alphonso talking about?

"I know," Burns said with a softer voice. "But imagine if your sister was alive. Would you want a man to seduce her just because she was from your family? Would it be fair to Sarah?"

So Alphonso had lost his sister? Hmmm... Severus didn't really pity that conceited git.

"No, Capt'n," Alphonso replied. His voice quavered. "I've been blinded by my desire for revenge and I made a mistake. I'll go and speak to that girl."

"Fine," Burns said. "From now on, pay attention to the girls you seduce."

"Yes, Capt'n," Alphonso replied.

"You can leave now," Burns said.

Severus quickly withdrew his ear from the door and left the room. He rounded the corner, then doubled back to meet Alphonso as if he'd just arrived. Severus glared at the man. Alphonso smirked at him.

"Oh, your Eminence Severus Snape the Potions master!" the bastard said. He bowed.

How dare the git provoke Severus again?

"I am surprised that you remember my name," Severus replied. "Have you taken a potion to become smarter or is it a new effect of Zingiber?"

Alphonso frowned. Then he smirked again. "Oh," he said, "I could surprise you. I always surprise people. Especially the Capt'n." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Severus scowled. That awful git was trying to make him believe there was something between him and Burns!

"As a Potions master," Severus whispered under his breath, "I find it surprising that your charm has so little effect on Professor Burns. I was really impressed by the way she dismissed you. She clearly found you as attractive as a slug."

Alphonso grimaced. Severus' remark had hit a nerve. Anger flushed Alphonso's face. His fists were clenched. Severus' hand closed on his wand, ready to pull it out of his robes and hex the git.

"Things will change," the man hissed. He spun around with rage.

Severus screwed up his eyes. That bastard wanted to seduce Burns!

"By the way," the Potions master added, "if you need another job, I think that you should ask the Headmaster. He pities all sorts of creatures, the stupidest ones included. Maybe you have a chance..."

Alphonso threw him a murderous stare.

"The Capt'n knows my abilities," Alphonso replies. "She needs me." The man sneered and left.

The Potions master was enraged. Burns needed the git? To fight, maybe. But not more. Alphonso was an awful, conceited prat, exactly like Sirius Black. Burns had said she didn't care about his personal life. She wasn't interested in him... yet. Suddenly, Severus thought of the Zingiber. Had Alphonso really made a mistake, or had he included Zingiber in an Eros Reductus potion purposely? And if he had, why had he risked exposing himself to all those girls at Hogwarts? Hmmm... It was something he had to inquire about...

Even Black wouldn't stoop to Zingiber or Potions to seduce Katarina. But that didn't stop him from trying to steal her away at every turn... even when they were about to be married. Severus remembered Katarina's last Auror assignment just before their wedding date...

***

London, Katarina's apartment, twenty-eighth of October, Severus' fourth year as a Potions assistant.

Severus used the Floo Network and entered Katarina's apartment. But... What were Longbottom and BLACK doing in the sitting room?

"Severus," Longbottom replied.

"Snape," Black snapped, glaring at him.

"What is going on here?" Severus hissed.

"Oh, Darling!" Katarina exclaimed, coming out of her bedroom with a suitcase in her hand.

What? Did she have a mission?

Katarina put her suitcase on the floor and stepped over to Severus. "I had written a note for you. I must go for two or three days," she said. "For work. I'll be back as soon as possible."

"What are they doing here?" Severus whispered under his breath.

"They're coming with me," Katarina replied.

Severus screwed up his eyes. His fiancée would go to mission with TWO men? And one of them was Sirius Black?

"What?" he exclaimed. "You're going on a mission with him?" He pointed at Black.

Longbottom backed toward the door and appeared to be ill at ease. "I'll be waiting for you outside," he said, leaving.

"So?" Severus asked.

"Yes, Love," Katarina replied. "For work," she repeated.

Severus snorted. For work?

Katarina moved forward, took his hand firmly, and led him to the bedroom. She pushed the door behind them, leaving it ajar. She embraced him, but Severus remained stiff. Katarina sighed. She caressed his cheek and looked him straight in the eye.

"Severus, please," she whispered. "Be understanding, Honey. It's for work. Sirius or anyone else is all the same. And I'll be back soon. Then we'll be married."

Katarina stared at him pleadingly and kissed him. Severus' jealousy faded a little, until...

"We should go," Black snapped from the other side of the door. Katarina broke off the kiss.

Severus growled. Of course, Black had done that on purpose! He had surely heard them speak and kiss. And he was going on a mission with her! Bloody git!

They entered the sitting room again, Severus more furious than ever. Black had lifted Katarina's suitcase as if he was a gentleman. Slime ball!

"I'll carry it for you," Black said. He had an awful grin plastered on his face. A provoking grin which meant he had something in mind. And an amused stare which meant 'she's going to have fun with me while you'll stay at home, cretin. Happy?'

Severus threw him a murderous stare.

"Bye, Snape," Black said in a mocking tone. He opened the door and left.

"Don't worry," Katarina said, kissing him a last time. "I love you," she added, before leaving too.

Severus clenched his fists, imagining he was squeezing Black's neck between his hands.

***

Bloody bastard! The Potions' master's fists clenched again. Even if Black was dead now, the memory of this event angered Severus beyond reason. Black had ruined his life! If he had known what the git had said to Katarina! And when she had returned, Severus had acted like a fool, again...

***

Hogwarts, Severus' chambers, thirtieth of October, Severus' fourth year as a Potions assistant.

Severus paced back and forth in his chambers. He was worried. Black! Severus' eyes flashed. The awful git would try to seduce his fiancée, and Severus couldn't do anything to prevent this from happening. What would Black do? Severus was sure he was up to something!

Severus couldn't tolerate it anymore. He took a handful of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. Then he stepped into the fireplace, lit with green flames. "Katarina Burns' apartment," he exclaimed angrily.

He appeared in the sitting room. Katarina was lying on the couch, reading. It irritated Severus. He would have wanted her to use Floo Powder to go to his chambers as soon as she had come back. All those hours he had spent worrying, while she was quietly reading at home?

"So you're back?" he hissed.

Katarina looked at him. "Yes, my Darling," she replied coolly, as if she didn't know he had worried about her.

Was she making fun of him? Katarina stood up and put her book on the coffee table. Something in her attitude was not right. Although she appeared to be calm, Severus perceived something strange in her voice. Confusion. He thought immediately of Black. What had he done to her? Severus' eyes narrowed. Had Black touched her?

"What happened?" he bellowed. "Did you sleep with Black?

Katarina rolled her eyes. "No," she retorted sharply. "I didn't sleep with Sirius Black! Why do you always think I'm unfaithful to you?"

"Let me use Legilimency," Severus retorted coldly.

"No," Katarina snapped.

Severus was surprised and infuriated. She didn't want him to check. It meant something had happened with Black. He felt betrayed. Suddenly, he stomped into Katarina's bedroom. He wanted to know. There was surely proof of her guilt in her suitcase. He searched through it, dumping all her clothes on her bed in a mess.

"Hey!" Katarina exclaimed. She ran into her room. "What the hell are you doing?"

Then Severus found it. The proof of her guilt. He took a black, satin negligee from her suitcase.

"Was it good?" he yelled crossly. She had betrayed him!

"I didn't sleep with Sirius Black!" Katarina shouted. "I can't allow you to use Legilimency because I'm an Auror! It's forbidden! I took an oath!"

"What a good pretext!" Severus barked. "But that indecent gown," he said with disdain, "is proof you had a good time the last two days."

"I bought it before I came back," Katarina retorted.

"So you bought it there for Black," Severus yelled, "and you slept with him yesterday or this morning maybe?"

"I didn't buy it for Black!" Katarina exclaimed. "I bought it for you!" She blushed.

"And you expected me to wear it, maybe?" Severus scowled.

"No!" Katarina shouted. "I wanted to wear it! On our wedding night, cretin! The price is still attached!"

Severus stopped yelling. Noticing the ticket still attached to the gown, he remained speechless. How embarrassing it was...

Katarina sat on her bed. She looked sad and exhausted. She laid her forehead on her right hand. An awkward silence followed.

Severus stared at the negligee. Now he knew Katarina had bought it for him, he didn't think it was so gross. Actually... he found it rather lovely. His face turned red. He felt very uncomfortable and gulped. What could he say? Katarina looked really hurt.

"Out of my bedroom," Katarina said.

"Katarina, I--" Severus said.

"OUT OF MY BEDROOM!" she yelled. She pushed her suitcase violently on the floor. Then she threw all the clothes scattered on the bed all around. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" she bellowed.

"K--" Severus said.

"OUT!!!" she barked. She took her wand out of her robes and pointed it at him.

Severus was confused. Seeing how infuriated she was, he backed away and left her bedroom. The door snapped. He tried to open it, but Katarina had uttered a spell to lock it. He heard her cry. Severus didn't know what to say. He looked at the lovely negligee he still held in his hand. Of course she had bought it for their wedding night! How could he have been so stupid? Katarina would never have betrayed him.

Severus felt guilty. He had reacted brutally, stupidly, as usual. But he was scared. The wedding... and the wedding night. He would have to confess everything. What would she say? He knew if he had to learn something like that from her, he would be shocked. What if she ran away? He'd have to tell her everything step by step. To tell her he was mad about her. That he had made a mistake when he was younger. That he had betrayed the Dark Lord for her. That he had learnt recently that his father had killed her mother. That he was sorry and apologised for everything.

But... maybe he could wait a little longer? One day more before telling her the truth? He could bandage his left arm, saying he'd had a little Potions accident. Just for the wedding night? And then he would confess everything the following day, after they had... Severus grimaced. No, Katarina wouldn't forgive him if did that. He should tell her everything before they consummated their wedding. If he didn't, she would really feel betrayed.

When he thought of their wedding night, Severus also felt anxious about the 'making-love' part. What if he was awful? What if he did everything wrong? What if she was disappointed? Then he realised he was stupid. Katarina was probably as apprehensive as he was. And remembering how things had almost happened not a long time ago, Severus realised it wouldn't be the most difficult moment of the wedding night. And certainly not the most disagreeable.

Severus sighed. Katarina kept sobbing. He decided he had to leave her alone. He'd had made enough mistakes for one day.

He stayed in the sitting room, waiting for a sign from Kat. But she didn't leave her bedroom. After a while, he listened through the door. He didn't hear anything. Katarina was probably asleep. Severus retired to his own bedroom to sleep.

Several hours later, he was awakened by Katarina's screams. Severus felt terrified. He got up immediately and tried to open her door, but it was still locked. Severus uttered a few spells and finally managed to enter, to find Katarina shrieking in her sleep. He moved to her bed and shook her.

"Kat!" he exclaimed. "Wake up! Kat! Wake up!"

Katarina opened her eyes and panicked. "Grindelwald..." she exclaimed, "he said I would become like him! He said that--"

Severus embraced her. "It's just a nightmare, Kat!" he exclaimed. "Just a nightmare!"

Katarina snuggled up in his arms. She wept hard.

Severus didn't know what to do. Katarina looked very shocked. She trembled. It was probably just nerves. Damn! Why had he accused her of having an affair? He had given her awful nightmares! He was such a cretin!

"Shhh," he said reassuringly. "I'm here. It's just a nightmare," he kept repeating, holding her until she calmed down.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. It was the first time he really apologised to anyone. "I was insufferable, devoured by jealousy." He took Katarina's face in his hands. "And you are my longsuffering, faithful, future wife. Why do I always make you cry?"

"Severus," Katarina said, "do you love me?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. What did it mean? Why did she ask?

"Of course," he replied.

"I mean, do you truly love me?" she queried.

Why did she insist? She knew he did! He felt irritated.

"It's one in the morning and I'm trying to calm you although I'm tired," Severus growled. "Of course I love you."

Katarina sighed. "Is there... another woman?" she asked.

"What?" Severus gasped. Did she think he was unfaithful to her? "Certainly not," he hissed. "Why would I want another woman?"

He felt offended that Katarina had thought something like that, although a part of him knew he had thought the same about her...

"I don't know," Katarina replied. "I wonder if... I am... enough for you?"

"What a silly question," Severus whispered under his breath. "We'll be married in two days. Have you heard me propose to anyone else?"

Katarina brushed his hair with her hand. "No," she said. "You proposed only to me." She closed her eyes and paused. "I was so shocked by our quarrel that I imagined the worst. I thought of what it would be if you had an affair."

"And?" Severus asked, still irritated.

"I felt jealous," Katarina replied. "I don't want to share you with anyone."

"You won't," he said. "Never. I swear it."

A part of him was amused to see that Katarina was jealous at the simple thought of him with another woman. He liked to see her so possessive, exactly as he was with her.

"I'll ask the Aurors' department to change my assignment," Katarina said. "I don't want to work with Sirius Black anymore."

Severus raised an eyebrow. Although he was delighted by her decision, he was suspicious. What had happened to Katarina during her trip?

"We quarrelled so much because of him," Katarina continued. "I don't want us to squabble when we're married. You were right. Sirius Black is an awful prat. I don't want to hear about him anymore or even speak to him. No one will come between you and me."

Severus kissed her. She put her arms around his neck. How pleased he was to hear Katarina call Black 'an awful prat' and say she wanted to forget about his existence. The bastard was definitely in the rubbish bin.

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" she asked, when their lips parted.

Severus frowned. What? Sleeping with her? But it was too early! They just... couldn't!

"We had decided to wait until marriage," he replied coldly.

"No," Kat replied. "I'm not talking about that... I just want to sleep in your arms, that's all. I need your presence at my side tonight."

Severus was moved by the pleading look in her eyes. "All right," he said. He couldn't refuse. After all, he wanted to sleep with her too. But maybe a little too much, and not really in a chaste way, especially at that very moment. Since he had seen the black, satin negligee, he couldn't stop thinking of how she would look in it. Anyway, he had to think of something that disgusted him. Potter... and Black. Yes, that would work! Potter and Black together! Black wearing the dress! Disgusting!

He crawled between the sheets, shut off the light, and lay beside her. Then he felt her arms around his chest and her head upon his shoulder. He smelled her perfume. He put his arm on her back. God! Why did he have to be so excited now? 'Black! Black! Potter!' he kept saying in his mind.

"Severus," Katarina said, "you must know that I'm deeply in love with you." Severus stroked her back in response.

All right... Her words of love were not the best way to calm his excitement! Potter! Black! Dumbledore! Filch! God, it was not enough...

Katarina moaned. "I'm scared," she said.

"Scared?" Severus asked. Still her nightmare, probably. Or about the wedding.

"Scared of being separated from you," she replied. "I'm an Auror. You could be hurt because of me. Sometimes, I think I should take another job."

"You worked very hard for that job," Severus retorted. "Don't give it up because of me."

He didn't want her to sacrifice herself for him. He'd made enough mistakes. She had done the right thing in becoming an Auror, unlike him, who had stupidly chosen the Dark Lord's side.

"You're much more important than my job," Katarina continued. She paused. "Severus," she said, sighing. "If you're hiding anything from me, tell me now."

Severus' heart jumped. The effect of her sentence was radical. He was not excited anymore. He was scared. Did she know anything? First, she asked if he had an affair, then...

"If I what?" he hissed.

"If you're hiding anything from me," Kat continued, "anything... just tell me. I love you. I won't go away, I promise."

Severus gulped. Now was the time. Time to tell her. Time to confess everything.

"No," he replied. "I'm not hiding anything." He couldn't do it. He was too scared of losing her. He was not ready to confess the truth. He would wait for their wedding night, as he had planned.

***

Severus didn't know he had made the biggest mistake of his life. If he had known, he would have confessed everything. How would she have reacted? She'd have probably cried, but she'd have stayed. Now, Severus knew that she wouldn't have left him if she had known the truth. If she had learnt it from his own mouth, and in good circumstances.

Their last -- and first -- night together had been wonderful, although they had done nothing more than sleep. Severus remembered the serenity he had felt when he had woken up at her side...

***

London, Katarina's apartment, Hallowe'en, Severus' fourth year as a Potions assistant.

When Severus woke up, the first thing he saw was Katarina's face a few inches from his own. Her eyes were still closed and her breathing was regular. She seemed soundly asleep, and, Merlin, she was beautiful. Severus stared at her, capturing the secretive expression of innocence that made her look like a little girl. He was fascinated.

Katarina Emerald Burns... the young woman he was about to espouse. Who loved him enough to have waited for him for all these years. All this time, he had acted strangely with her. He had made her suffer with his bad temper, had accused her of having an affair with all her male-friends, had spent his time missing their dates and sending her cold letters. And she was still here, cuddled up in his arms, although she could have fled from him so many times.

Emerald... Severus' lip curled up. The name of Katarina's grandmother had been well-chosen for her middle name. For Severus, Katarina was his jewel. He had only told her once, and a part of him had felt ridiculous, like each time he'd expressed his feelings out loud. The words he uttered didn't express what he felt for her. How could he reduce what Katarina meant for him to a weak 'I love you?' But his fiancée expected him to be more demonstrative, so he had opted for whispering a few sweet words in her ear when they were alone. And actually, he'd realised that he'd enjoyed this game. How strange it had been for Severus to discover he could show tenderness for someone.

Severus noticed his legs were entwined with Katarina's. How amusing... When Katarina had fallen asleep, he had moved away from her in the bed to limit his frustration. Then he'd fallen into slumber too. But obviously, his attempt to keep his distance hadn't worked. He'd come back to her as if they were both magnetised. When he tried to move his legs, Katarina moaned in her sleep. Severus felt her arm across his back, pressed against him in an embrace. He smiled, delighted to have witnessed a pure and unconscious demonstration of love from her. He placed a long and tender kiss on her forehead, decided he didn't want to move, and turned back to sleep.

When he opened his eyes again, Katarina wasn't there anymore. The place where she had slept was still warm, a sign that she'd woken up not long ago. Severus stretched and rolled on his left to occupy Katarina's empty place. He buried his face into her pillow, where the vanilla scent of her hair had remained. He was in a good mood, which was pretty rare these mornings. Strangely, he was not as frustrated as when he awoke alone in his own bedroom. Something had changed. Although that night with Katarina had been more than chaste, he felt a married man. A happily married man. Severus heard the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom. A tempting sound. He sighed, finding his old friend Frustration back. He couldn't wait for the day he would join Katarina and be a happier married man.

Severus sat on the bed, trying to think of something else. He conjured a hot cup of tea and took big sips, almost burning his tongue. Several minutes later, Katarina came out of the bathroom. She wore a long, white bathrobe, and her slightly wet hair was raised in a bun. Her appearance had another sudden and unexpected effect on Severus. She was naked under this bathrobe. Now he just wanted to... 'Do not think about that,' Severus repeated in his mind.

"Still drinking tea, my Love?" she said gently.

Severus nodded. Tea. He had to focus on his tea. Just tea. A warm bath of tea... No! Just a cup of tea. A simple, very cold cup of tea with ice cubes. Ice cubes... dressed with a bathrobe and floating in a warm bath of tea. Damn! Bloody imagination! Severus smirked. If Katarina knew what he was thinking!

"You should pay attention," Katarina continued. "With all the tea you drink, your teeth will turn completely yellowish in fifteen years."

"Will you still kiss me then?" Severus couldn't prevent himself from replying.

"All the time," Katarina responded, looking amused.

She sat on the bed beside him. Damn! She smelled good. Severus was very sensitive to fragrance. He loved the scent of the mixed aromas escaping a cauldron in inebriating fumes. But nothing was more intoxicating than her at that very moment. Without thinking, Severus set aside his tea and carried Katarina along in an embrace, his mouth on hers. Katarina's mouth replied ardently and they both sunk onto the bed, not aware of anything else around them. Katarina emitted a muffled moan which brought Severus to his senses. He pulled away as abruptly as he had begun.

"In two days..." Severus said, breathless.

Katarina didn't reply. She appeared to be as breathless as he.

Severus blushed. He had just realised that his hand was resting over her bathrobe on her breast. And there was more: pressed against her, a certain part of his anatomy couldn't go unnoticed by Katarina anymore. Severus had never felt so awkward.

"Er," he said, removing his hand and getting up. He cleared his throat. He turned back, in order to reach his cup of tea and take new sips.

Katarina laughed. Severus didn't find it funny at all. He used to control his emotions, hiding them whenever he wanted. Being so readable, because of something so corporal, troubled him. He hated losing control.

"What's so comical?" Severus hissed, hoping that Katarina would understand he wanted to change the subject.

"Well, well," Katarina replied, "Congratulations, Mr. Snape. That's a boy."

Severus' mouth twisted although he blushed again. He hadn't expected such a teasing response.

***

The Potions master's lip curled up at the memory. That night he had spent with Katarina had been the most beautiful in his entire life. But Katarina... Burns... didn't remember it. She didn't remember the wonderful moments they had spent together. She had only kept the worst...

Severus kept thinking about her symptoms and her strange reactions. How could he find a solution to win her back? He had missed something important, but he couldn't say what it was. Perhaps he hadn't analysed the problem and the clues in the right order.

He promised that before the Spring Ball, he would find out.

***

14