Swept From the Past

Chapter 32: Difficult Choices -- part two

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on the way to their Care of Magical Creatures class. Harry and Ron were talking about Quidditch. Hermione walked a little behind them, rereading her class notes. When they reached the Entrance Hall, Harry stopped. At the other end of the Hall walked Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy was followed by an elf who looked as badly treated as Dobby. The elf's right arm was bandaged and he had a big lump on his forehead. Hermione gasped.

Malfoy's cold eyes fixed on the trio, especially Harry. He continued walking in their direction. "Potter," he said, as he passed, his mean stare lingering on Harry for several seconds.

Harry didn't reply. He just glared at Lucius Malfoy. Harry followed him with his eyes until Malfoy disappeared from the Entrance Hall.

"What's he doing here?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Harry replied, "but we should keep an eye on him."

***

Professors McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore were in the Headmaster's office. Lucius Malfoy had asked for an appointment to protest his son's detention. Professor McGonagall didn't agree. Matters of discipline were the school's responsibility. The teachers had the right to assign detention. Parents couldn't come to school to disagree with punishments. What about the strict rules of Hogwarts?

Someone knocked at the door.

"Come in," Dumbledore said.

Filch entered. "Mr. Malfoy is here," he said. Lucius Malfoy entered the room, followed by an elf.

"Good afternoon, Lucius," Dumbledore said, smiling.

Lucius Malfoy didn't reply. He just stared at Dumbledore disdainfully. He ignored Minerva's and Severus' presence. Professor McGonagall didn't make the move to welcome him. She wouldn't make efforts to greet someone so rude.

Then Lucius Malfoy turned his head and glared at Severus. Lucius had a look of hate in his eyes. "Severus," he said coldly.

"Lucius," Professor Snape hissed, looking at Lucius with the same stare.

"So," Lucius said, suddenly turning to Dumbledore. "We are here to speak about my son's detention."

"Indeed," the Headmaster replied. An awkward silence followed.

"Well?" Lucius Malfoy snapped. "What are the charges? What has my son supposedly done?"

Supposedly? Minerva screwed up her eyes.

"Would you please take a seat?" Dumbledore offered politely.

"I'm a busy man," Malfoy replied coldly. "I just came to clear up the problem about Draco." Malfoy didn't sit. The other teachers didn't sit either. It would have given Lucius a position of superiority. The Headmaster and Professor Snape had probably thought the same thing.

"I see," Albus replied. He paused. "Draco was caught fighting in school. According to the bylaws of Hogwarts, detention is the prescribed punishment for such infractions. The other students involved all received similar punishments."

"The other students," Malfoy sneered. "Do you mean Misters Potter, Weasley, and Miss Granger? I've heard that they were famous at school for getting in trouble."

"Oh," Dumbledore replied coolly, "they are famous at school for many things. Harry Potter is one of the best Seekers Hogwarts has ever had. Hermione Granger's marks are the highest in the school. And Ronald Weasley has proved his abilities in Quidditch last y--"

"I see..." Malfoy interrupted. He paused. "Dear me," he continued, "I didn't know that the Gryffindor House was so... favoured," he scorned.

"It's not!" Minerva said crisply. "Favouritism has nothing to do with a student's talents. The punishment is the same for each student. No difference between Houses."

"Obviously..." Malfoy replied slowly. He suspended his sentence. "... Especially when one innocent student from another House is unfairly attacked."

Professor McGonagall's eyes flew open. "Draco was far from innocent in this particular incident," she snapped.

"Prove it," Lucius retorted. He sneered.

"Oh, that won't be a problem," Minerva replied. "The whole school witnessed the fight."

Lucius' mocking expression disappeared. Minerva had the impression that Draco had forgotten to tell his father a few details about the fight.

"So," Malfoy said, fury in his face. "What's this I hear about a... special sort of punishment?" he said disdainfully, "and I hope this is not true."

"We gave Draco detention," the Headmaster replied. "With Professor Burns, like the other students."

"This is unacceptable!" Lucius Malfoy snapped.

"It will be acceptable though," Dumbledore replied quietly. "At least, if you want Draco to remain a student in Hogwarts."

Lucius Malfoy regarded the Headmaster with eyes narrowed into slits. "I will NOT leave my son go to detention with that little Defence Against the Dark Arts bitch!" he shouted. Minerva was shocked by Malfoy's attitude.

"Watch your words, Lucius," Professor Snape hissed. Lucius Malfoy and Severus glared at each other for several seconds. Then Lucius turned back to Dumbledore.

"She threatened Draco with a snake!" Lucius exclaimed, his fists clenched. "I will NOT permit my son to have detention with that insane woman!" He took a few steps to the door, then turned back to the teachers again. "To make everything clear," he said, "If you don't change your decision, the Ministry will be informed! So will the papers!" The expression on his face was very menacing. But Minerva knew that Albus would not cede. He had never cared about the Ministry or the papers.

"The decision will remain unchanged," Dumbledore replied quietly. "Have a nice day, Lucius."

Lucius Malfoy's eyes flashed a last time. Then he turned back to the door and gripped its handle. Suddenly, the door flew open and slammed into his face, hitting his nose. Professor Burns appeared in the doorway and entered Dumbledore's office.

Professor McGonagall jumped a little from surprise. Professor Snape had a delighted expression on his face.

"Oh," Burns said as if she were shocked, staring at Malfoy. "You were behind the door? Sorry!" She was overacting. "I am so clumsy."

Lucius Malfoy looked really enraged. He dabbed his bloody nose with a handkerchief in one hand, while he gripped his wand with the other. For an instant, Minerva thought that Lucius would raise it and attack Professor Burns, but he didn't do it.

"May I introduce Professor Burns to you?" Dumbledore asked, smiling.

"I already know her," Lucius replied, his teeth clenched.

"Hmmm," Professor Burns said, "Narcissistica's husband?"

Lucius scowled. "It's Narcissa," he said.

"Oh," Burns sneered. "Yeah, right." She went to a chair and sat comfortably. "So," she continued, "want to speak about your urchin?"

"My son," Lucius corrected coldly.

"If you say so," Burns retorted quietly.

Lucius' eyes flew open wide. McGonagall almost gasped. Severus' mouth twisted. Dumbledore looked amused and sat down.

"Your son," Burns added. She had an amused expression on her face. She pulled her dagger out of her cloak and started to play with the blade. She threw the dagger into the air and caught the blade between her fingers. Minerva had to admit that Burns had a certain skill in that exercise.

Lucius Malfoy looked confused. He kept silent.

"Well," Burns said, "what's wrong with him?"

Lucius Malfoy didn't react immediately. He blinked, as if he was trying to remember whom Burns was talking about.

"I refuse to allow my son to take detention with you," he replied coldly.

"And may I ask why?" Burns replied very softly.

"I have my reasons," Malfoy responded.

Burns laughed. "I understand," she said. "You are scared that something will happen to him. Not very surprising. I mean... we all know that Draco is a weakly sort of person."

"What are you--" Lucius exclaimed.

"No offence," Burns interrupted quietly. "I perfectly understand your worries. Having a detention with me is something!" She turned to Dumbledore. "Headmaster," she said, "I totally agree with Mr. Malfoy."

Minerva was puzzled. Malfoy appeared to be as surprised as she was. Dumbledore looked at Professor Burns with a quizzical stare. Professor Snape raised an eyebrow as if he was suspicious about something.

"Do you?" Albus asked.

"Absolutely," Burns replied. "I really don't think that Draco Malfoy should take detention with me. As I said last time to that dear Johanna Linch, who wanted to write an article about me in the Daily Prophet..."

"Johanna Linch?" Dumbledore interrupted.

"The new reporter for the Daily Prophet," Burns replied conversationally, "the one who replaced Lola Portman after she suddenly decided to quit her job. A nice woman, this Johanna Linch. A very inquisitive person. Always ready to ferret out some funny information about great wizard families," Burns said slowly and distinctively.

Ferret out? Minerva repressed a smile and cast a quick glance at Lucius. Malfoy's expression turned ugly. He had understood what the reference meant.

"Anyway," Burns continued, "she asked me what the most difficult part of my job was. I said that it was probably to deal with the difference of levels between students. For example, I referred to Master Draco Malfoy, the heir of a great bloodline."

Malfoy's face had turned livid.

"Ok," Burns said, "his knowledge of Defence Against the Dark Arts is correct..." Burns raised her eyes.

Lucius Malfoy's nostrils flared with anger.

"But..." Burns continued. "I've seen the way he fights, and honestly..." Burns made a grimace, wrinkled her nose, clicked her tongue, and shook her head.

"I have noticed it myself..." Dumbledore replied. "But are you sure that...?"

Minerva frowned. She wondered what was going on between Burns and the Headmaster. They seemed be playing a game with Draco Malfoy. Or was it with Lucius Malfoy?

Burns cast a quick glance at Malfoy, as if she felt awkward. Then she leaned forward in her chair as if she wanted to share a secret with Dumbledore. "Headmaster," she whispered, "I don't think that Draco Malfoy is strong enough for such an experiment. You know he can't compare with the other students. I mean... if you compare him to Harry Pott--"

"That's enough!" Lucius Malfoy snapped. "My son can stand up against any student of this school!"

"Of course," Burns replied softly. Her lip curled. "No need to be angry."

If Lucius Malfoy could have killed Burns with his stare, he would have. One glimpse at him and Minerva understood that Burns had crossed the line with him.

"I've changed my mind!" Lucius Malfoy hissed. "Give him detention as was planned. I'll not let you insult our family name!" Then Malfoy suddenly went out of the office, followed by his elf.

Burns smirked. She raised her eyebrows quickly and took a bottle out of her cloak. "Cheers!" she said, raising the bottle in front of her and having a drink.

"What was that?" Minerva asked.

"Basic psychology, Minerva," Albus replied, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "Basic psychology."

***

Harry, Ron, and Hermione returned to their common room after Hagrid's class. Harry wasn't feeling well. Draco Malfoy had boasted the entire time. He had said that he would get off detention with Burns because of his father. Harry was furious. But he hoped that Dumbledore and McGonagall wouldn't go along with that. Of course, Lucius Malfoy would have the help of his old friend Snape...

"Do you think Malfoy was right, mate?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "At least his father will try to get him off."

"But it's not fair!" Ron complained.

"What do you think about that, Hermione?" Harry asked. Hermione didn't reply. She appeared to be deep in thought.

"Hermione?" Harry asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked.

"Oh," Hermione replied, "I was just thinking of Lucius' Malfoy's new elf. It's been a long time since I've knitted clothes for the elv--"

"Not that SPEW stuff again!" Ron interrupted.

"It's not SPEW!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Er," Harry said to calm the quarrel, "about Lucius M--"

"No one cares about your stupid House-elf Liberation Front!" Ron interrupted.

Harry sighed. When would he learn not to intervene in Ron and Hermione's squabbles? He didn't want to take sides. He sat in the closest armchair and tried to make them forget about his presence. He stared at the floor, still listening to the conversation.

"I'm glad that everyone is not as selfish as you are, Ron!" Hermione repeated louder. "Some people care about the elves!

"Some people?" Ron cried out. "Yeah, I'm sure they like wearing SPEW on their robes!"

"Viktor agreed to wear a badge!" Hermione shouted.

"'Cause he can't read!" Ron bellowed. "It's not surprising he asked you to the Yule Ball. He's stupid!"

Ouch! Harry cast a quick glance at Ron and Hermione. Hermione looked enraged.

"You should ask an elf or a Hippogriff to go to the Ball with you, Ron," she yelled. "Because no girl would ever go with you! Ever!"

"No boy would ask you either," Ron shouted. His face was crimson.

"You're just jealous of Viktor!" Hermione bellowed. "Because he's famous, because he's respected by everyone, and because he's rich!"

Ron's face turned redder than ever. He glared at Hermione. His fists were clenched. Hermione' eyes flew open wide. She put her hands on her mouth and gasped. "Oh," she exclaimed, "I didn't mean..." Hermione blanched suddenly.

Ron looked furious. So enraged that he couldn't reply. His lips moved, but didn't utter a word. Suddenly, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione stared at the door, an expression of shock painted on her face. Then she turned to Harry.

"Er..." Harry said awkwardly. Ron and Hermione would never make up after that.

"Did I really say...?" Hermione murmured with a blank stare.

Harry nodded with regret. He didn't know what to say.

Hermione didn't reply. She just ran to the girls dormitories.

Harry stayed a few minutes more in the common room. What should he do? He didn't want to choose between Ron and Hermione. And he would probably have to. Harry sighed and stood up. He decided to go and search for Ron. After all, he couldn't do anything for Hermione, since she was in the girls dormitories. And maybe he could calm Ron... a little?

***

Severus Snape left the Headmaster's office. He hadn't spoken to Malfoy, and Lucius had largely ignored him. Previously, Lucius would have required his help, since Severus was the Head of Slytherin and a Death Eater. But now, Severus was not a Death Eater anymore. He was a traitor and an enemy. Considering the look of hate Lucius had thrown at him, all the Death Eaters knew about his betrayal.

Severus felt glad he wasn't one of them anymore. He no longer had to pretend he enjoyed their company. He wouldn't have to prevent their children from getting detention. Of course, he would still care about the points taken from Slytherin -- his house --, but after all it wouldn't matter if the students were punished.

And Severus was glad about something else. For once, he had been able to defend Burns in front of Lucius. He had wanted that for a long time. When Lucius had said Burns was 'an insane woman,' Severus would have wanted to curse him. But he couldn't do that in front of the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall. How delighted he had been when Burns had slammed the door into Lucius' face. What an adorable, irritating woman!

But she had always been adorable... in a different way. In a very different way...

***

Katarina's apartment, Severus' first year as a Potions assistant.

Severus lay on Katarina's couch, which had been unfolded into a bed. His body ached and he shivered. He was feverish. It was impossible for him to get up and prepare a potion. He felt too ill. Damn flu!

Suddenly, Severus felt the contact of Katarina's hand on the back of his pyjama.

"Severus," Katarina said, "sit up. You must take your medicine. You will feel better after."

Severus moaned. He had lost conscious thought. Nothing existed except his aching body. Katarina forced him to rise up and sit. She helped him to drink.

"That's disgusting," Severus said, a grimace on his face. He pushed the glass away, not wanting to drink more. Fever made him a bit delirious.

"I know," Katarina replied. "But that potion will cure you. Remember you taught me how to brew it."

Severus drank the rest of the glass reluctantly. Relief. He just wanted relief.

Katarina took the empty glass from his hands. He lay back down and immediately fell into an agitated slumber. In his sleep, he saw hooded figures who wore masks. They were moving closer and closer. Severus struggled. One of them had an ember in his hands and held it close. Severus felt his face burn more and more. It was unbearable. Until...

Severus felt something cold on his face. He regained consciousness. Katarina had placed a wet facecloth on his forehead. That was soothing. She was lying next to him and was caressing his hair. It was totally unexpected, totally new. But Severus didn't want her to stop.

"Shhh," she said. "Calm down. I'm here and I'll take care of you. The fever will fall soon. I'll stay beside you all night. Tell me if you need anything. I'll be awake." She kept stroking his hair and kissed him on the cheek.

It was the first time anyone acted that way with Severus when he was ill. His mother had never taken care of him. Nor his father, who contented himself to made Severus a potion. No one had ever stayed to watch over him.

"You'll fall ill if you stay close," Severus grumbled. He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted her to stay and keep taking care of him. But he also felt very weak and didn't want her to see him in such a bad state. He felt irascible.

"I took a potion to minimise the risks," Katarina replied. "And what if I fall ill? I don't care, as long as you feel better." She paused. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked, disappointment in her voice. She pulled her hand away.

"No," Severus responded. He moaned. "Don't... Just..."

Katarina put her hand back on his hair, as if she had read his thoughts.

"So I won't go," she said. "Try to sleep, Severus. You need rest, Honey."

She caressed his hair until Severus fell asleep. Her presence reassured him. He knew that she wouldn't go. That was a strange sensation Severus had never felt before: Safety.

When he woke up the following day, he realised that she was still watching over him. She looked tired.

"Hi," she whispered, smiling slightly. She caressed his hair again.

"Hi," Severus replied softly.

"Do you feel better?" she asked.

"Yes," Severus responded.

Katarina put her hand on his forehead. "The fever has fallen," she said.

"Did you spend the whole night... watching over me?" Severus asked. He was dumbfounded.

"Of course," Katarina replied. "That's my job. Who would have changed the facecloth, if not me?"

"But it's... past ten," Severus continued. "You missed your classes!" Damn! She would get in trouble!

"It doesn't matter," Katarina retorted. "I will study later. It's not a big deal. And I like taking care of you."

"Really?" Severus asked. How could she find it pleasant? She had spent her whole night watching over him instead of resting. He didn't deserve such attention.

"Really," Katarina replied. "But you know... it's a selfish thought. I just like spending time with you."

"But about your classes..." Severus said.

"Shhh," Katarina responded. "It's ok. It's the first time I've missed them. I've sent an elf with a message for the teachers. I will return to class tomorrow."

"If Professor McGonagall knew," Severus said, "she would be scandalised." He was both touched and amused.

"Probably," Katarina replied. "But if she really knew you, like I do, she would approve of my decision."

Adorable. She was just adorable.

***

Severus Snape had often thought about Katarina's attitude. He had had fifteen years to meditate on her kindness. Katarina had always been there for him. She had given all that she could to him. She had cared more for his health than for her studies, which were very important to her.

The Potions master felt that he hadn't deserved her. He remembered that he had spent less and less time with Katarina at the end of her first year of Auror training. He came to see her less often. He didn't have a lot of time. He always had Potions to prepare for Blazy, and his correspondence course took time. Severus knew he couldn't do otherwise than sacrificing his time with Katarina. The Dark Lord's cause was the most important.

At least, until that day in December...

***

Hogwarts, beginning of December, Severus' second year as a Potions assistant.

Severus was in his chambers when he felt his arm burn. That meant he had to go to Lestrange Manor, where the next Death Eaters' meeting was planned. He used Floo Powder to go to a shop in Hogsmeade. Then he Disapparated and Apparated at the Manor. A few Death Eaters were already there.

"Severus Snape!" Bellatrix Black exclaimed, as if she was happy to see him. Severus wondered why she looked so anxious to speak with him. She had never been interested in his life.

"Bellatrix," Severus replied politely.

"I read one of the letters Burns wrote to you," Bellatrix said.

What? She read his mail? Severus felt infuriated. He knew it could happen, but... Knowing that Bellatrix had read Katarina's letters was awful. How dare she stick her nose in his private business! Severus kept a calm appearance as if it didn't matter, but he would have liked to curse Bellatrix.

Bellatrix burst into laughter. "The Love Philtre was rather effective!" she exclaimed. "I miss you, my Love," she quoted, "I wish we could be together soon. Signed: Your Kat." Bellatrix laughed hard.

Severus remained stoic. "Yes," he hissed, "rather effective. A little too much," he added, to justify his sharp attitude. Bitch!

"In contrast," Bellatrix said, "your letters are rather cold." She giggled. "Come on, Severus! You should make a little effort! I know that she's under the spell of the Love Philtre, but still! If you want to make her think you love her, you should be a little more convincing! If she shows the letter to her friends, they'll be suspicious!"

'Better them than you,' Severus thought. Of course he was cold in his letters! He always had to pay attention to what he wrote. The Dark Lord wanted him to play the role of a lover. But if Severus was too passionate in his letters, the Dark Lord would suspect that he was really in love with Katarina. It was a risk Severus couldn't take.

"Ok," Bellatrix said ironically, "I know it's hard to write a love letter to Burns. Just imagine she's someone else, when you write! Choose a gorgeous girl for a change! Or maybe a man, if you prefer!"

Severus frowned. "Difficult," he replied. "It's been a long time since I've seen a gorgeous girl."

Bellatrix's eyes opened wide. She got the message. It served her right!

Severus heard a laugh behind him. He turned around and saw Lucius Malfoy. "You had it coming, Bella," Lucius said. "Severus didn't appreciate your last comment!"

"Lucius," Severus said respectfully.

"Well," Lucius said, "I see that you did a good job with Burns!"

"I did my best," Severus replied.

"Blazy says you are a good Potions assistant," Lucius said. "But he doesn't talk much about his ridiculous experimental research at Hogwarts," Lucius winked. Severus worked most of the time with Blazy on new sorts of potions. Blazy wanted to find a potion which would have the same effect as the Cruciatus Curse.

Suddenly, Severus heard horrible screams coming from the cellar. Like those he sometimes heard from the cellar of his parent's house, when he was five years old. Those screams had scared him as a child. He jumped, as he had every time he went to a meeting at Lestrange Manor.

"Oh," Lucius exclaimed, "the spectacle has already begun!" The spectacle? Severus wouldn't have chosen those words. 'The execution' was the right word to use.

They gathered in the vast cellar of the Lestrange estate. Chairs were lined up in front of the stage. A half-naked man was suspended from the wall with chains. He had big slashes on his bare chest. He bled abundantly. Severus was not sensitive to blood, but he felt sick. As usual.

"Don't worry," Lucius whispered, "that's just a Mudblood."

They sat. Soon, the Dark Lord entered. Everyone stood up. The Dark Lord stared at his servants. He didn't utter a word. Then he raised his hand and lowered it. All the Death Eaters sat down.

The Dark Lord spoke with a strong, powerful, captivating voice. He talked about the supremacy of Purebloods wizards. Of the way he would get rid of every Mudblood who lived in the world. Everyone clapped. Severus was captivated too. Mudbloods were disgusting! The Dark Lord would make the world better without them.

At the end of the speech, the Dark Lord turned to the man. The Mudblood seemed terrified.

"You, Mudblood," the Dark Lord said. "What is your name?"

"Answer the Dark Lord, filthy Mudblood!" someone shouted.

"M... Maxwell D... Dayton," the man stuttered.

"Dayton," the Dark Lord said. "Dayton, Dayton, Dayton... I accord you the great privilege to be the attraction of the day."

Rodolphus Lestrange brought a tray to the Dark Lord, on which a dagger laid. The Dark Lord took it. Then he made a big cut on the man's belly. The man cried from pain.

Severus felt sick again. He hardly bore seeing someone tortured. But after all, the man was a Mudblood. That was not important.

The Dark Lord spent fifteen minutes making deep cuts on the man's skin. Then he stopped. "Blazy," he called. "My faithful servant, I need your latest experiment."

Blazy went to the man, a bottle in his hands. Severus knew it was the potion on which he had worked with Blazy. He felt both excited and terrified.

Blazy raised the man's head. He poured some of the liquid down his throat by force. After a few seconds, the man screamed; horrible cries of suffering. Severus shivered. The man's body convulsed. He seemed to suffocate. Then he stopped struggling. He was dead.

Most of the Death Eaters stood up and clapped. Severus did the same. 'That is just a Mudblood,' he repeated in his mind. "Mudbloods are inferior creatures," he whispered finally. He didn't realise he had uttered this last sentence out loud.

"You're right," Lucius replied. He looked fascinated by the spectacle of the man's dead body. "That was very amusing, don't you think so?" Lucius continued. He laughed.

"Absolutely," Severus replied. He still felt sick. He didn't enjoy the scene, but he knew the man's death was deserved. He was just a Mudblood. The pure-blood line had to be preserved. A necessary sacrifice for the betterment of the world.

Blazy released the corpse from its chains. Then he took the dagger and cut off the man's left hand.

"To send to his wife!" Blazy exclaimed. He held the hand in the air. The man wore a wedding ring. Everyone burst into laughter. Severus tried to imitate the other Death Eaters, but he found that scene disgusting.

The Dark Lord continued speaking. After a while, he mentioned the Death Eaters' missions. Then that was Severus' turn. Severus closed his mind to all sorts of emotions.

"Severus," the Dark Lord said. "Blazy said that you're partly responsible for that wonderful potion. You have the skills of your father!"

"Thank you, my Lord," Severus said.

"How are things with Burns?" The Dark Lord asked. "Did her aura finally turn blue?"

"Not yet, My Lord," Severus replied.

"You did well in seducing her," the Dark Lord continued. "That's a shame she's a half-blood. When her power is stolen, she'll be killed. Yes, that's really a shame. I would have liked to be served by Grindelwald's granddaughter!"

Fortunately for Severus, the Dark Lord had already stopped staring at him. If he had looked into his eyes at that very moment, he would have managed to access emotions deeply hidden just a few seconds ago.

Severus gasped inwardly. The Dark Lord's words echoed in his mind. He kept control until he reached his quarters in Hogwarts, but he was shocked. Katarina was a half-blood. She was Grindelwald's granddaughter, and she was a half-blood. Just a half-blood. The words mixed in his head... 'Pureblood line,' 'filthy Mudblood,' 'sacrifice.' Severus couldn't sort out his ideas, his feelings. He repeated the last word, "Sacrifice." He had to sacrifice her for the Dark Lord's cause. For a better world. That was what the Dark Lord wanted. That was what his father wanted. The Dark Lord's cause was the most important. She was a half-blood. A filthy half-blood ... almost as disgusting as Evans...

No! She was Kat. His Kat. He loved her. How could the world be better without her? Not his world! What if her father, or her mother, was a Muggle? Severus realised he didn't mind. He loved her, and she loved him. They were happy together. What else was there?

Severus' beliefs collapsed around him. Everything mixed in his mind too fast. Severus felt terrified. He lost his balance and sank brutally on a chair. His breathing grew rapid. He felt feverish. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

Would the Dark Lord torture her like he did to the man? In front of an audience? Would he make her bleed? Would he make her drink a nasty potion Severus would have prepared? Would he cut off her hand? Would Severus really sacrifice the love of his life for the Dark Lord's cause? To honour the last wish of Claudius Snape, who had never shown him any sign of affection?

Noooo!!! Severus couldn't let that happen. Never. He preferred being tortured in Katarina's place. He would never let anyone touch her. But what could he do against the Dark Lord? The Dark Lord was the most powerful wizard in the world. He was the...

No, he wasn't the most powerful wizard in the world. He feared Albus Dumbledore. What if Severus went to the Headmaster? What if he told him everything? What did he have to lose? He risked being sent to Azkaban. He risked being killed by the Dark Lord. But at least, Dumbledore would protect Katarina. That was most important.

Severus was agitated. He left his chambers. He had a stomach ache and a lump in his throat. He crossed the corridors like a zombie, as if moved by the wishes of another. His legs led him somewhere he was scared to go -- to the point of no-return. Would he make the last step? He stood in front of Dumbledore's office. After several seconds, he raised his right arm and knocked at the door.

"Come in," he heard. He entered and shut the door behind him. Dumbledore was alone in the room.

"Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Headmaster," Severus replied. He went to Dumbledore's desk and sat in front of him. "I..." he said. But he couldn't continue. That was too much. He put his head between his hands and repressed a sob.

***

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