Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt

"This has to be the worst detention I've ever had," said Mena. She threw her quill down in disgust. "Couldn't he have had us scrubbing out cauldrons or something?"

"Isn't this the only detention you've ever had?" asked Uric curiously. He was still diligently copying every nine-lettered word out of an ancient tome. Louis had fallen asleep over his own book, but he was supposed to be copying every word with three syllables. Mena had been told to copy every word ending in 'y'. She was getting very sick of the word 'verily'.

"Well, yes," she said, blushing a little as she remembered Uric taking the blame for what should rightfully have been her first detention. "We should probably wake up Louis," she said to change the subject. Uric happily prodded Louis with his quill. The dark-haired boy awoke with a yawn.

"Is it that time already?" he asked.

"Not really," responded Uric. "Since time is purely subjective, it is either never 'that time' or always 'that time'." He copied down another word.

"You've been reading the advanced textbooks again haven't you?" asked Louis dryly before returning to his own copying.

A few minutes later, Professor Stewart entered the room. He had left them to their work a couple of hours before. Varys Nachleen trailed behind him. The Ravenclaw took an involuntary step back from the force of the glares he was getting from Mena and Louis. It was his fault that they were in here. Uric just regarded him with a mild expression that was somehow even more disconcerting.

Professor Stewart didn't notice the glares. He collected their rolls of parchment and casually looked them over. "A little short, Louis," he said before ripping them into tiny pieces that piled up on his desk. Mena could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and angrily held them back. There was something disturbing about having all your hard work ripped up for the fifth day in a row. Stewart casually incinerated the pile before dismissing them for the day.

They left but Mena grabbed Uric's arm before he could wander off and pulled him against the wall. Louis stopped as well, realizing what she was up to. With Mena's hand over Uric's mouth, they listened intently to the conversation inside Professor Stewart's classroom.

"-studies going, Varys?" asked Professor Stewart.

"Very well, Sir," said Varys. "It would be really helpful if I could have a pass to the Restricted Section, Professor." Varys sounded like he was pleading.

"We've been over this countless times. First-years are not allowed in the Restricted Section. Should you wish to use the library, you must do so on your own time. Now if that's the only reason you wanted to talk-"

"Excuse me, Sir, but conducting my studies on my own time has been problematic," said Varys stiffly.

"Yes. I remember having my sleep disturbed on Hallowe'en," said Stewart drily. Mena's eyes widened. "Surely you've found a way around the problem by now?"

"I have taken precautions," said Varys reluctantly. "But I can't be sure of their effectiveness if Uric Beaufolle and his friends are going to be wandering around the castle at all hours."

"Mr. Beaufolle wanders the castle? After curfew?" Professor Stewart sounded excited.

"He was there on Hallowe'en, and I've seen him a few other times, though I doubt he's seen me," said Varys. Uric made some noise against Mena's hand, but she only pressed it tighter against his mouth.

"If you see him again, inform me immediately. Not even his father will be able to protect him if he's caught in such an infraction of the rules again," said Professor Stewart triumphantly. There was a pause, and Mena could just picture the gloating looks on their faces.

"Is that all you wanted Varys?" asked Professor Stewart solicitously.

"Yes, Sir," Varys replied. Mena and Louis grabbed Uric's arms and pulled him down the corridor. They all crowded into a tiny alcove. There was a statue of a centaur rearing up on its hind legs inside, but it wasn't enough to hide them if someone walked by. Varys' footsteps came closer.

"Can you hide us, Uric?" Louis hissed in his ear. Uric thought about it for a moment. Hide. Where had he heard that word before?

"Armozoalgama," he said, and flourished his wand. A heavy feeling of magic settled upon them. Mena could feel her flesh prickling. What had Uric done? She tried to open her mouth and ask, but found she couldn't. Her eyes wouldn't move either, but after she relaxed for a moment, she found she could see Louis out of the corner of her eye. If she had had a mouth to do it with, she would have gasped.

Louis was frozen where he had been crouching as a crude statue, complete with patches of lichen. He looked like he had been out in the weather too long. If she hadn't known it was Louis, she would never have recognized him. Mena began to panic. What if they were stuck this way?

Varys walked past. He didn't spare a glance for the collection of statues in the alcove to his right. If he had looked closer, he would have seen the statues of three students and a centaur. Two of the students were crouched against the wall, while the third was in the process of playing peek-a-boo with the centaur.

*****

A few hours later, one of the statues blinked. Ten minutes later, it blinked again. Slowly they came to life. After half an hour, Mena was able to express her opinion.

"Uric. I'm going to kill you!" Her words were slurred since some of her tongue was still made of stone.

"Why?" he asked. She turned her neck stiffly to see that he had his arms up to play some sort of game with the centaur.

"You turned us into statues!" she exclaimed. Her words didn't slur this time.

"I doubt he noticed," said Louis, straightening ever so slowly from his crouch. His robes still had grey patches from where they were stone.

"What would have happened if we hadn't changed back?" asked Mena, calming down a little.

"We would have stayed statues forever, or at least until someone noticed Uric playing with the centaur," said Louis. "Uric, you can put your arms down now. They aren't stone anymore." Uric obediently lowered his arms. Mena discovered that her arms were free as well, and leant over to smack Uric upside the head before toppling over. Her knees, unfortunately, were still stone. She hit Uric, who hit the centaur, who hit the floor with a loud thump. Louis started laughing.

Mena took the time to glare at him before un-entangling herself from Uric. Louis ignored her, but calmed down enough to ask Uric a question.

"Why statues, Uric?" he asked. Uric answered promptly for once.

"When Gustav Holmstein was trying to hide from the vampires who were after him, he turned himself into a statue and they passed him by," he explained. Louis nodded his understanding. Mena gave them an impatient look.

"What time is it?" she asked. It was hard to keep track of something like that when you were a statue.

"One twenty-three in the morning," said Uric. "And thirty-seven seconds. Thirty--eight seconds. Thirty-" Mena hit him.

"We need to get back to our Common Rooms," she said as if nothing had happened. "It's much too late." She headed off down the corridor. Uric made to follow her, but Louis held him back for a moment.

"Isn't there a statue of Gustav Holmstein that can still be found in Romania to this day?" he asked. Uric nodded solemnly. Louis sighed.

"Don't ever tell Mena that, Uric," he said and followed Mena down the corridor.

*****

Transfiguration was one of Uric's favourite classes. He would spend the first few minutes performing whatever task Professor Leonard had assigned (and that Mena had reminded him of) before he was left to his own devices. He could let his mind wander, or read, or on one day when Professor Leonard was especially distracted, perform an African rain dance.

Today, Professor Leonard poured himself a cup of tea from an intricately shaped tea kettle before turning it into a turtle. Uric wondered what part of the turtle the tea had become. Professor Leonard explained the transformation and demonstrated it one more time before letting them try themselves. Uric stared blankly at the tea kettle until Mena nudged him.

"Just get on with it," she whispered before returning to her own tea kettle, which was taking on a muddy-greenish colour. Uric reluctantly lifted his wand. He liked tea kettles. He considered letting all the kettles free into the world, but Professor Leonard had been very angry when he had let all those pats of butter go last month. He hadn't taken Uric's word that they really did not want to be bumblebees.

Uric concentrated a little, and waved his wand. A turtle appeared on the table, flapping its flippers against the table top. He petted it on the head. A glance at Mena revealed that she was still involved in her transfiguration. He relaxed in his seat and drifted off into another world where no one was allowed to say the word 'prodigious'. Uric was amazed that anyone could carry on a full conversation without that word, but somehow they managed it. Gradually he became aware of a curious droning voice.

"Any resident of the family antidae is known as a duck," said the voice. Uric looked around curiously. Where was the voice coming from? "They are known by their flat, broad bills, webbed feet and a variety of multi-coloured plumage." Uric nodded his understanding. "Now, what is it you see in this picture?" The room sounded very quiet to Uric and he frowned. He couldn't see any picture. He decided to hazard a guess.

"Ducks?" he said, but the voice didn't respond. The whole class fell silent as a grin of joy spread itself across Professor Leonard's face.

"Ducks," he said happily. "Ducks!" And with a wave of his wand, all the tea kettles they had turned into turtles were ducks, in fact, all the tea kettles that hadn't been turned into turtles were ducks as well. The class gawked as the ducks began quacking softly and exploring the desks in front of them. Professor Leonard strode to the front of the room and stood facing them. "Let's talk about ducks," he said with a smile. Someone in the back of the room whimpered.

Meanwhile, Uric tuned out the rambling teacher and studied the duck in front of him. It was one of those brown ducks that he saw occasionally. "Hello Mr. Duck. My name's Uric. What's yours?" The duck quacked at him and Uric cocked his head to one side. "Oh. You're a Miss. Sorry about that. You wouldn't happen to know where that voice went?" The duck just looked at him.

Mena was looking at him too. She was glancing between him and the duck as if deciding which to curse first.

*****

The first-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws filed wearily out of Transfiguration nearly an hour later. Some of them still had duck feathers stuck to their robes.

"Brilliant move, Uric," said Alponius Nester in an angry tone. Professor Leonard had compared him to Mandarin duck and he had not been pleased.

"Leave him alone, Al," said Justine softly. She glanced at Varys Nachleen and the others who had stopped just outside the door. "I'm sure he had a good reason for mentioning ducks." Mena stared incredulously at the other girl. Justine may have been pretty, but she obviously wasn't too bright.

"He should have remembered after the last time," insisted Al. One of the Ravenclaw first-years, Icarus Jabber, had been the unfortunate soul who mentioned ducks in their first month in Professor Leonard's class. All he had asked about was the potential of changing dough into something other than a dog, and then they had been trapped while the topic of ducks was discussed in excruciating detail. Mena was sure that at least some of the Ravenclaws had found Professor Leonard's comprehensive knowledge of ducks interesting, but none of them were desperate enough to mention them to him again.

"Let's just forget about it," said Neil McGowan. "Uric's obviously insane, and we need to get to Defense Against the Dark Arts." Everyone nodded and they headed off to class.

Mena was a bit startled when she was shoved from behind. She turned around to admonish the clumsy oaf who had run into her, but only saw the back of Louis' head. She thought for a moment. Had she felt something else? She placed her hand in her pocket. There was a small piece of parchment. After a quick look to make sure Uric wasn't wandering off, she read it.

Library after dinner. Bring Uric. Discuss plans about Mr. Perfect.

She shook her head. She still didn't understand why Louis was so insistent on secrecy about their friendship. Louis had even told the other Slytherins that he was in detention for a totally different reason than Uric and Mena. It all seemed rather ridiculous to her. She crumpled the parchment up and placed it back in her pocket. At least it looked like they were finally going to get revenge on Varys Nachleen.

*****

Louis watched Mena frown in concentration as she considered the feasibility of his plan. The hours they spent as statues the night before had driven him to the edge of distraction. It was only by focusing on developing a plan to get even with Varys that he was able to keep his composure throughout the ordeal. Not that anyone would have noticed if he lost his composure while he was frozen in stone, but he would have been embarrassed if he had panicked.

Mena nodded decisively. She looked up at him. "Let's do it," she said. "Though we should use polyjuice potion."

"We're not using polyjuice potion," said Louis.

"Polyjuice..." said Mena. Her eyes had a far away look, as if she were already imagining Varys' reaction.

"We're not using polyjuice," insisted Louis, glaring at her in annoyance.

"It would be brilliant," she said, ignoring his protest. "Uric could brew it and we would help." Louis sighed.

"First, we don't need the potion! Second, the ingredients would be impossible for us to get, and third, it takes over a month to brew. Where in the world did you hear about polyjuice potion anyway? They invented it last year," said Louis. Mena coloured.

"Professor Darshan told me about it while I was helping him," she said. The Potions professor always chose one student at the end of the day to help him clean up. It was an easy job, and the professor gave away a ridiculous amount of points to his helper's house, so there were many students vying for the opportunity. Just this week, Mena had earned the honour of being the first student to be asked to help Professor Darshan a second time. Louis wondered if this explained her sudden interest in Potions.

"You understand why we can't use the polyjuice potion?" he asked, hoping that he had finally gotten through to her. She nodded.

"Polyjuice potion wears off too quickly," said Uric suddenly. They both looked at him.

"You were listening, Uric?" asked Louis cautiously. The herd of parchment animals covering his desk bespoke otherwise, but you could never be too sure with Uric.

"You said to listen," said Uric. Louis did remember telling him that, but he hadn't actually expected Uric to listen to him telling him to listen.

"It's good that you did," said Louis. "So what do you think of the plan?" Uric blinked and his eyes took on a far away look.

"There's nothing wrong with it," he said after a moment. "But why do we want revenge on Varys?"

"He stole Simon and nearly got us killed, not to mention expelled!" exclaimed Mena. Uric looked upset.

"Maybe he didn't mean it," he said.

"He meant it, Uric," said Louis flatly. "And if we let him continue, he's going to get you expelled. Do you want to stop your explorations just because Varys and Professor Stewart are conspiring against you?"

"No," said Uric in a small voice.

"It'll be alright, Uric," said Mena, trying to reassure him. "Varys won't get anything worse than detention."

"She's right," said Louis. "Professor Stewart will protect his favourite pupil. And doing this will protect us."

"You just have to be where we tell you, when we tell you. Got it?" asked Mena. Uric nodded.

"Got it."

*****

"Icky, Uric," shouted Peeves. "Have at thee!" The poltergeist swung his sword wide. Uric backed away from Peeves, then brought his own sword up.

"Cheese!" he yelled, and charged straight at him. The sword caught Peeves' foot, and the poltergeist began to yell horribly while turning back flips in the air.

"You cut off my foot! My lovely foot. How will I walk? How will I hop? Evil, Uric. Evil!" Uric frowned at the poltergeist, than looked at his 'sword'. It was the handle of an old mop that he had found in an abandoned cupboard. Peeves sword was a simple tree branch. He looked at Peeves foot as the poltergeist continued to rant.

"But you still have a foot," Uric protested. Peeves shook his head sadly.

"But will it be the same foot ever again?" he asked. Uric thought about that for a bit.

"Maybe every time you pass through a wall you're being reborn. That would mean your foot was just reborn," said Uric. He smiled at the poltergeist. "Now you can celebrate its birthday. We can have a party!" Uric was excited at the prospect, but Peeves turned upside down and pouted at him.

"Stupid theory. Stupid boy. Peeves is dead. Dead as a doornail. There is no being reborn," said the poltergeist softly to himself.

"I'm sorry, Peeves," said Uric. He had made the poltergeist sad. Peeves wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue at him.

"Icky, Uric!" Peeves shredded his sword and threw the pieces at him. Uric closed his eyes against the storm of splinters that was raining down on him and when he opened them Peeves was gone. Uric stared at where the poltergeist had been for a moment, than shrugged.

Peeves would be back to play some other day. He looked absently down the corridor. Wasn't there something he was supposed to be doing?

*****

"Where is he?" hissed Mena. She was huddled inside a door lintel with the outside of her cloak pulled up tight around her face. Someone would have to look straight at her face to recognize her, which was good since it would be her job to get Uric out of there once their plan culminated. If Uric ever got there that is.

She leant out into the corridor and looked down it once again. Still no Uric. She frowned and slumped against the doorway. Uric's part in the plan was simple. All he had to do was be in the proper place at the proper time.

She and Louis had been watching Varys for two weeks now, learning his routines. It had been easy once Uric had pointed out that Varys was using an invisibility cloak like the 'nice woman's' to get around the castle.

They had waited one very long night outside the library doors until Varys left around three in the morning. Then Mena had hit the cloak with a spell to make it glow wherever it was hit. It didn't wear off and since it was on the back, Varys couldn't see it. After that, it had been simple to find out what days and times Varys ventured to the library.

It was Thursday morning now, and Varys should be returning very soon down the corridor she was hiding in. Louis should be finished with his part of the plan and on his way. All they needed was Uric...Mena discovered she was biting her lip in frustration and stopped. Uric was going to have a black eye the next time she saw him if he didn't arrive soon.

*****

Louis knocked nervously on Professor Thacher's office door. This was the most risky part of their plan, but it was necessary if they wanted a witness other than Professor Stewart. Thacher was actually their second choice, but Louis hadn't been able to find Mr. Kurze anywhere. He wasn't suicidal enough to knock on the Kurze's door, even if he had known where it was. That left Professor Thacher, who was notorious for falling asleep in his office, and had the added plus of being Louis' Head of House.

Louis could hear footsteps on the other side of the door. There was a muffled curse, or maybe a Disarming Charm, and the door opened.

"I thought I heard someone slithering about out here." Professor Thacher beamed down at him. Louis nearly groaned at the pun, but caught himself. If the worst thing that happened to him tonight was listening to a bad pun, then he would be lucky.

Their plan was good, but complicated, like all their plans tended to be. Next time it was going to be something simple - like point wand and curse...His attention was brought back to the present when Professor Thacher cleared his throat and spoke.

"So, Mr. Iliescu would you like to explain why I shouldn't be giving you a detention for being up at this hour of the ni-morning?" He was still smiling, though his eyes held little amusement. That was what Louis loved about Thacher: he always gave you a chance to explain. Well, at least if you were in Slytherin he did.

"Slytherin is losing the House Cup to Ravenclaw, Sir," said Louis carefully. Professor Thacher nodded encouragingly. "They have some very good students." Thacher nodded again.

"Like that sixth-year, Erin Privet," said Thacher. "That girl's going to change the world! And-"

"And Varys Nachleen," said Louis before Professor Thacher could list every Ravenclaw with above average grades.

"Yes, him too. He's in your year isn't he?" asked Thacher in an innocent tone. Louis nodded. He took a deep breath, then leaned in and spoke in a low voice so that Professor Thacher had to tilt his head to hear him.

"He's out right now, Sir. He sneaks into the library doing some sort of project that will win Ravenclaw loads of points. He - He'll be in a room near here very soon, Sir." Louis held his breath. He had nearly told Thacher about Professor Stewart's illicit approval of the project, but decided that would be going too far.

"Well," said Professor Thacher thoughtfully. "Mr. Kurze is an old man. We wouldn't want to disturb his rest, or the Headmistress' would we?" Louis shook his head. "Then where is this room?" Louis resisted the urge to smile now that the plan was going well.

"I can show you, Sir," he said. Professor Thacher shook his head.

"That isn't necessary, Mr. Iliescu. I wouldn't want to have to explain to anyone why one of my Slytherins was wandering about the castle at this hour. In fact, if I did see one wandering about, it would be my duty as a teacher to take away points." Thacher didn't ask him if he understood, but Louis nodded his understanding anyway, taking the advice to heart.

"I'm feeling tired, Sir," said Louis. "I think it's time I get back to bed. Varys will be in the Oriental room on the second floor near the main staircase."

"I know it," said Professor Thacher.

"Good night, Sir," said Louis. He headed back toward the dungeons. Professor Thacher called out to him.

"Louis!" He turned to look at the older wizard.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Let's try not to be so obvious next time shall we?" said Thacher pleasantly. Louis smiled.

"Yes, Sir." He headed down to the dungeons for approximately five minutes, than took a different route towards the Oriental room. He wanted to see this.

*****

Uric was crawling quickly down a velvet carpeted corridor when a foot stuck itself out of a doorway. He was forced to stop so that he didn't run into it.

"Excuse me, Mr. Foot. Do you think you might move? I need to get down this corridor," he explained politely and tried to look it in the eyes, or toes. Did feet even have eyes? They had to have some way of telling where they were going didn't they?

"Uric!" said a voice in an attempt at an angry whisper. "Varys is coming down this corridor any second and you're supposed to be standing in front of that door over there!" Mr. Foot kicked him.

"Ow!" he said. A hand reached down and grasped his braid, pulling him up to his feet. He came face to face with Mena whose brown eyes were flaring with anger. She clenched her teeth together and took a deep breath before speaking to him.

"Go stand in that doorway. Make sure Varys sees you and follows you in," she said. Then it would be her job to ward the room so he couldn't leave before whichever person Louis had fetched got there. Uric would get out through the secret passage. "He'll be the floating, glowing spot in the air. Speak to him if you have to. Just get him to follow you in." Uric frowned.

"Glowing spot? I saw that earlier. It's a person?" he asked. He sounded very disappointed.

"Yes," said Mena, then against her better judgement she asked him. "What did you think it was?"

"I thought maybe it was actually a temporal vortex floating around Hogwarts. I tried to jump into it, but it floated away." Mena stared at him. She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"Get in the doorway, Uric!" she said to cover her confusion. "And make sure you enter the secret passage without him seeing you. Louis should be waiting there." Uric nodded. He smiled at her.

"Alright." He walked down the corridor and stood in the proper doorway. Mena breathed a sigh of relief, than pressed herself back into the darkness.

*****

Uric stood in the middle of the doorway. His arms and legs were braced against the side of the door so that he was blocking the entire doorway. He was pressing so hard that his arms were beginning to tingle with the strain. He didn't seem to notice when a glowing spot came floating down the corridor to hover in front of him for a moment. With a strange buzz it leapt through his body and into the room.

Uric shivered, but was too distracted by his thoughts. If all the stones in the castle were connected, than that would mean that by holding up one stone he was holding up the whole castle. In fact, by holding up the many stones of the doorway, he was actually doing more than his part. He noticed his arms were trembling, but he couldn't stop now that he was holding up the castle. It would be very rude to let the castle fall down if he could stop it.

Another glowing spot came quickly down the corridor. It nearly strode past the place where Uric was standing, but stopped and came to float right in front of him. Uric looked straight ahead, and said very matter-of-factly, "You can't come in." There was a snort of disdain.

"What's in there that's so important?" asked the glowing spot, in spite of himself. Uric didn't answer. Two invisible hands pressed hard at Uric's chest, nearly dislodging him from his post. Had the castle just trembled?

What felt like a boot hit Uric in the shin and he crumpled in pain, despite his pledge to uphold the castle. He lay curled up on the floor for a moment, wondering if the castle would come down around him now. He felt the swish of the edge of someone's robes as they stepped over him, but nothing else. After a moment he got up and looked around the room. There was still one thing he was supposed to do, wasn't there?

Behind him, Mena stepped out and warded the door, then pressed herself back into her hiding place. She should have a few minutes before she had to take the ward off again for whichever person Louis had fetched. She forced herself to relax and stay hidden. Whoever it was should pass right by her, so she didn't have to worry.

At the other end of the corridor, the velvet carpet muffled the footsteps of the wizards that strode towards the room with their wands out.

*****

A few minutes later, Professor Thacher strolled nonchalantly down the deserted corridor. He stopped in front of the Oriental room and noted that its door had swung wide to reveal the beautiful vases and fans that gave the room its name. There was no sound. He drew his wand and stepped into the room.

Floating in the middle of the room, were two masks. One was a snarling dragon, the other a hissing griffin. They twirled slowly and sinisterly as if they were on invisible strings. Written beneath them in glowing letters was this sentence.

Power comes in many guises.