Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt

            Uric awoke with a start, from a nightmare involving giant stuffed toy bears, people with French accents, and, of course, pudding. He lay there in the dark and quickly checked that all of his body parts were intact. Once he was assured of the continued existence of his limbs, he jumped out of the bed and threw on his robes. He grabbed a sleepy Simon out of his cage and headed up the ladder. Avoiding the plants with an ease born of many mornings of experience, Uric waved a jaunty hello to the sleepy badgers in the painting, then left the common room.

            Uric wandered around the castle like he always did, though at this time of night, it was more like it wandered around him...

*****

            Uric sang a little tune, and found Simon joining in. He was so preoccupied with his singing that he didn´t even notice the pair of legs in front of him until he ran into them. Uric looked up.

            "Good morning, Mr. Kurze." Simon chirped along with him. The old man looked down at Uric and produced a sigh.

            "Good morning, Uric. Should I even ask what you are doing down here?"

            "Well, first I followed these chairs that were floating down one of the corridors, than I heard a great -"

            "Yes. Yes. I get the idea, Uric. Every night it´s the same thing, isn´t it? You hear or see something and off you go. Not to mention your erstwhile pursuit of badgers," said Mr. Kurze. Uric nodded his head, pleased that Mr. Kurze understood.

            "Well, two points from Hufflepuff, and get your self back up to the inhabited parts of the castle would you? These dungeons aren´t safe at night and I guarantee there are no badgers down here."

            "Yes, Sir." Uric turned around and headed back for one of the stairways he remembered. He wondered if he could find that room with the honey river again...

            "Uric! Uric!" Uric looked back at Mr. Kurze. "You´ll let me know if you see that woman again won´t you, Uric?"

            "Woman?" asked Uric in a puzzled tone. Mr. Kurze sighed again.

            "That woman you saw the first night you were here."

            "Oh, I see her all the time," said Uric. Mr. Kurze went very still.

            "You what? Where?"

            "She watches me when Professor Stewart makes me run around the castle. Every time I said hello to her she vanished. So I stopped saying hello to her and she stopped vanishing." He smiled, very pleased with his solution to the problem. Mr. Kurze had a serious expression on his face however. He put his hands on Uric´s shoulders, holding him so that Uric had to look him in the eyes.

            "This is very important, Uric. I need you to tell me when you see her again," said Mr. Kurze.

            "But I can´t."

            "Why not?" demanded the older wizard.

            "Professor Stewart said I wasn´t to stop running until he said so."

            "And I´m sure he doesn´t say so until a very long time has passed," said Mr. Kurze almost to himself. "I don´t know what you do to that man in his class...No. On second thought I know exactly what you do. You don´t fit into his logical world and it offends him..." Mr. Kurze trailed off. Uric was still looking expectantly at him, but the light that came to Uric´s eyes when his attention was focused on this world was absent.

            "Uric?" he asked. Uric seemed to come out of a trance.

            "Why do you think people grow beards, Sir? And why don´t they like birds to nest in them? If I had a beard, I´d let a bird nest in it." Mr. Kurze found his hand rubbing the stubble on his chin and jerked it away.

            "That´s not important Uric. I´m going to talk to Professor Stewart and see if I can work something out with him."

            "Okay." Uric smiled at him, and Mr. Kurze was sure he had no idea what he had agreed to. He shook his head.

            "I´m not sure whether to pity you, or to pity my wife when she finally gets a hold of you. Now run off, before I´m forced to do something drastic." Uric turned and ran straight through a nearby door. Mr. Kurze shook his head again. He could have sworn that that particular door was just a wall pretending to be a door. He could be wrong though. He stared at the door, then walked over and opened it. A wall stood behind it. He shut the door and continued on his patrol.

 

*****

            "The Great Hunt, or Wild Hunt as it is sometimes known, happens every vernal equinox. The Hunter rides across the land with his black hounds, searching for those who have done evil. Once the hounds scent their prey they never let go...Uric!" Uric looked up from his paper model of something that resembled a bird, if a bird had three legs, one eye and what looked like a large ear growing out of its head.

            "Yes, Sir?" he asked.

            "Would you like to explain why you aren´t paying attention yet again, or should I just give you another detention?" demanded Professor Stewart. Uric opened his mouth to respond then closed it again. He did mind explaining it and after the first fifteen times, even Uric had noticed that Professor Stewart gave him detention no matter what he said.

            "Detention, Uric. Now." Stewart pointed at the door. Uric shrugged and walked out. A month of detention with Professor Stewart had taught him the routine. He was to run around the castle until Professor Stewart called him in. There was no stopping and since Defense Against the Dark Arts was his last class of the day, no complaints from the other teachers.

            Uric didn´t mind. It was easy for his mind to wander while he was running. About as easy as it was for his mind to wander while he was in class really. He could contemplate what the world would be like if everyone had heads made of cheese just as easily inside or out. It was on Louis´ advice actually, that he had never told Professor Stewart that he enjoyed his detentions.

            This time however, Professor Stewart followed him out into the hall.

            "Wait, Uric. Mr. Kurze has talked to me. He wants you to carry this." Professor Stewart held out a stone on a chain. He reluctantly looped it over Uric´s head. "Just touch it whenever you see this woman you claim to have following you." Professor Stewart´s tone made it very clear how little he believed Uric´s claims.

            "Thank you, Sir." Professor Stewart didn´t bother to answer. He re-entered his classroom and Uric walked outside to begin his detention. He didn´t see the woman that day, but it wouldn´t have mattered if he did, since his thoughts were thoroughly occupied with the pros and cons of sentient clothing.

*****

            "He got you again, Uric?" asked Louis, referring to Uric´s twenty third detention with Professor Stewart. Uric nodded his head and went back to his book whose title was, as far as Louis could see Good Housekeeping for Witches. Louis shook his head and decided not to ask.

They were waiting for Mena to meet them at one of the tables in the library. The three of them met up like this sometimes, though if Louis ran into them elsewhere he would pretend he didn´t know them. "Can´t be seen consorting with the Hufflepuff´s," he said one day, making Mena very angry for some reason.

            Uric looked up from a fascinating chapter on dusting spells to see Mena storm into the library and slam her books down on the table. She ignored the evil looks the librarian was sending her way and slumped down into the chair.

            "Bad day?" asked Louis.

            "I am going to kill Alexis," she growled.

            "That´s fine with me. Just try not to do it in the Slytherin Common Room. You might get blood on the chairs." Mena glared at him.

            "I´m serious, Louis." He resisted the urge to tell her that he was serious as well.

            "What did she do to you?" Louis asked instead. Mena hesitated. "Tell me and I might just consider helping you."

            "She tripped me, than called me a dirty little mouse. She said maybe I should ask the house elves for help in cleaning my hair. All the Slytherins were laughing." She stared hard at the table, refusing to meet their eyes.

            "Of course they were laughing. They always follow her lead."

            "So do you!" She pointed her finger accusingly at him. Louis leant back and folded his arms across his chest.

            "Yes, I do. It would be dangerous to stand out. Alexis likes flattery and power. So long as I give it to her she leaves me alone."

            "And it doesn´t bother you that you have to grovel at her feet?" Louis stared at her curiously.

            "Are you sure you´re not a Gryffindor?" he asked. Uric and Louis watched in surprise as Mena screwed up her face in an attempt not to cry.

            "You..." She didn´t finish her sentence, but grabbed her bag and ran out of the room.

            "I think I touched a nerve," said Louis. Uric watched her go, puzzled, then went back to reading about dusting spells. Mena would probably hit him if he tried to talk to her now, and he really wanted to know how to remove wine stains with one easy spell.

*****

            Uric wandered early into the Great Hall for breakfast as usual. He had been up since three and was now hungry enough to eat a hippogriff. Not that he would. That would be cannibalism...Actually Uric wondered why a hippogriff? If you were hungry enough to eat a hippogriff, did that mean you weren´t hungry enough to eat a clabbert or a dragon? And he had never heard of anyone actually eating a hippogriff. How could they know they were hungry enough to eat one if they never had? For that matter, how did he know he was hungry enough?

            Uric was so occupied in his thoughts that he didn´t notice the girl until he bumped into her. She was taller than him by a few inches and had long pale blond hair. Alexis Lupin. His mind supplied him with her name. She was giving him a very cold stare.

            "Sorry," he said, "Have you, by any chance, ever eaten a hippogriff?"

            "You´re that weird kid. Eric or something right?"

            "Uric Beaufolle." He bowed slightly to her. She looked at him, considering.

            "I´m going to give you a piece of advice, Uric. Stay out of my way," she said. And with that she walked past him and sat down at the Slytherin table. She was joined a few minutes later by her friends as everyone in the castle came down for breakfast, but Uric wasn´t paying attention to her and was engrossed in the decimation of his baked beans. A hungry monster had attacked their village and was eating them one by one...

            "You should pay attention this morning, Uric." He looked up, fork poised. Mena was looking very cheerful compared to yesterday.

            "Pardon?" he asked. Mena sighed and her smile slipped a little.

            "Just keep your eyes on the Slytherin table, instead of your food. Okay?" Uric nodded, quickly ate the rest of his food and stared with intense concentration at the Slytherin table. For awhile, nothing happened except for Louis and Alexis giving him some odd looks. Then, Uric blinked.

            Alexis´ hair grew a life of its own. It began standing on end and flashing different colours. First a bright pink, than green, than blue. The hairs themselves wound in and out matting her hair so that it was shaped into a huge knot filled mess above her head. And it still continued to change colours...Alexis was crying, though Uric couldn´t tell if it was fake or real, and her friends were trying desperately to help her. All the other students watched in silence.

The teachers had noticed what was going on and some had rushed to help their student. Professor Leonard was the first to reach her. He quickly stopped the spell, and returned her hair to normal, except for an occasional flash of pink. Uric turned to ask Mena about the whole incident, but was distracted by a voice that rose over the quiet babble.

"Uric Beaufolle did it, Professor. He must have hexed me when he bumped into me this morning. Athar saw it didn´t you, Athar?" Uric didn´t hear Athar´s reply, but a few seconds later the Headmistress´ voice cut through the din.

"Uric Beaufolle come up here right now!" Uric got up slowly and walked towards the Head Table. Professor Stewart was looking very happy for some reason, while Headmistress Kurze stared at him with eyes of steel. He turned away from her gaze for a moment and looked back at the Hufflepuff table. Mena had her head buried in her arms and was shaking slightly. He could see Eustace asking her what was wrong. He turned back to the Headmistress.

"You wanted me, Headmistress?" he asked in his usual slightly puzzled tone.

"Report to my office, Uric. Professor Stewart will show you the way," she said. A hush filled the Great Hall as Uric left in the company of the Deputy Headmaster. Louis looked at Mena, than at the now smiling Alexis. He shook his head.

"Poor bugger," he thought, and hoped Uric survived the day.

*****

Uric had to walk quickly to keep up with Professor Stewart. The professor´s robes were practically billowing out behind him he was walking so fast. Uric attempted to not get a mouthful of cloth and nearly bumped into a statue of Stanley the Stalwart. They had gotten stuck on a staircase that decided to mysteriously change direction in midair and ended up in an abandoned corridor filled with bubbles. Professor Stewart had looked disgusted and cursed the staircase until it changed again. Then he had resumed his impossibly fast walk, with Uric following dutifully behind. Eventually they arrived at a stone gargoyle Uric remembered passing before.

            "Discipline," said Professor Stewart and the gargoyle swung aside to reveal a long staircase. Professor Stewart proceeded up the stairs, but was forced to come back and get Uric after he stopped to talk to the gargoyle. Uric wondered why the gargoyle wouldn´t talk to him.

            "Uric! The Headmistress is already up there!" Professor Stewart grabbed his shoulder and nearly dragged Uric up the stairs. They entered a formal looking room. Dark mahogany panelling lined the walls interspaced with tapestries. A formal portrait of the Headmistress and her husband sat over a cold fire place. A deep carpet coated the floor, but added no warmth.

            Mrs. Kurze sat in a tall chair behind a massive mahogany desk. It was very neat and had only a pile of parchment to one side of it, a quill and a pretty glass ball acting as a paper weight. Uric´s first urge was to go up to the desk and look at the pretty ball. So he did. He had just enough time to see that it was shot through with strangely swirling silver before a hand grasped it and took it out of his field of vision. He looked up in time to see Headmistress Kurze putting the ball in a drawer.

            "Mr. Beaufolle, would you please stand in front of the desk, not on it," she said in her clipped, angry tones. It was only then that Uric noticed he was on his knees leaning across the desk to look at the pretty ball. He got off the desk.

            "Sorry, Headmistress Kurze." She looked at him with her piercing grey eyes.

            "I don´t think you are, Uric. Just like I don´t think you are sorry for hexing poor Miss. Lupin. This school has a standard to uphold and you have failed us today." Uric frowned at her, trying not to feel uncomfortable under her stare.

            "But," he began and she cut him off.

            "I´m sure your father would be very disappointed in you, Mr. Beaufolle. I´ll bet you thought your little prank was funny, but it was very traumatizing for Miss. Lupin." Uric decided to try again.

            "But I didn´t-" Mrs. Kurze´s glare got even stronger, if that was possible.

            "Do not deny it, Mr. Beaufolle. Despite the reports I get of your negligence in class-" She paused to glance at Professor Stewart. "Your grades are the highest in nearly every class. I am assured that you are capable of the complicated hex that was performed on Miss. Lupin." Uric held very still. She had told him not to deny that he had done the prank, but he hadn´t done the prank. He didn´t know what he was supposed to do. The Headmistress seemed to take his silence for assent however and continued speaking.

            "Now, your parents will be informed of your behaviour. But in addition to that, fifty points off Hufflepuff and you will serve detention every day after class for the next month."

            "Running?" said Uric hopefully. He already ran around the school most of the week anyway.

            "I think not. Dasha has expressed the need for an extra hand to help her with her work. You will report to her for details." She stopped talking and stared piercingly at him. Uric didn´t want to look at her anymore, and focused his eyes on the bookcase behind her.

            "Look at me, Uric." Her voice was made of steel. Reluctantly, Uric met her eyes. "Something tells me that you are not sorry about your actions in the least. Are you sorry about what you did?" Uric thought for awhile.

            "What did I do, Ma´am?" It was Professor Stewart who answered him. The Headmistress was too angry to speak.

            "You hexed Miss. Lupin!" he exclaimed. Uric opened his mouth to respond, than closed it again. He was very confused.

            "It is unfortunate that they have banned us from physically punishing the students, like our Muggle counterparts these days. Perhaps your father will give you a good whipping when he finds out about this," said Mrs. Kurze. Uric, not understanding how lucky he was, opened his mouth to protest that his father had never whipped him, but was cut off by Professor Thacher entering the office.

            The Head of Slytherin regarded them all as if he were surprised to see them there.

            "Is there something you want Professor?" asked Mrs. Kurze, her voice cold. Thacher ignored her for a moment, than focused on Uric.

            "Ah! There he is! I was so close to having perfect attendance today, but then you didn´t show up."

            "I´m sorry, Sir," said Uric politely.

            "You did see what Uric did in the Great Hall, Jeffery? And to one of your own students," said Mrs. Kurze. 

            "That was Uric? Strange...Still, I need him for in my first class. He´s the only one who I can demonstrate the confundus charm on without worrying. So if you´re finished with him?" He looked expectantly at the Headmistress. Uric turned to look as well and fancied he saw smoke coming out of her ears. Perhaps she had had too much pepper-up potion. They all watched her visibly calm herself before speaking.

            "You may take him Professor Thacher." She turned her attention to Uric once again. "Report to Dasha after classes Uric and rest assured, if I see you in here again for any other mischief, I will expel you, regardless of your father. Understand?" Uric started to shake his head no, but found his short braid held in the iron grip of Professor Thacher. The teacher had somehow managed to get awfully close while the Headmistress was talking.

            "Of course he understands, Headmistress. Come along, Uric." He practically dragged Uric out of the room and down the stairs. They were half way to the Charms classroom when Professor Thacher spoke.

            "Aren´t you going to thank me Uric?" he said.

            "Thank you, Sir?"

            "It´s not often that I make such an effort for students of other houses. You should be thanking me for making an exception. Do you write letters home, Uric?" he asked. Uric thought back to the rather rambling letter he had been writing for the past month to his parents. It was only seven feet long now and he still hadn´t gotten to telling them what the castle was like. Perhaps he shouldn´t have put in that part about the rabid oranges...

            "Uric!"

            "Yes, Sir?"

            "I´m going to do something very un-Slytherin and spell this out for you, so listen carefully." Uric nodded. "When your father writes you wondering what happened, make sure he knows that I rescued you. Okay?" Uric didn´t think that would be too hard.

"Okay, Sir," he said. They arrived at the classroom door.

"Remember, Uric!" Thacher said one more time, before entering the classroom. Once there, he proceeded to teach like normal, and he never did demonstrate the confundus charm.

*****

            The kneazle bounded across the grass outside the hut, knocking Uric over when it attempted to perch on his shoulder. He grinned in delight and pet it as it curled up on top of him. Dasha strode out of her cottage after it.

            "Get off him you overgrown hair ball!" She picked the kneazle up and tossed it lightly to her left. It contorted spectacularly in mid air before landing heavily on its feet. There was a small smile on Dasha´s face when it walked away stiffly, its tail in the air. It faded away when she looked back at Uric. "You can get up now. Beckett only maims one person a day, and I seem to have gotten off lucky today." Uric got up, and brushed the grass off his robes.

            "Headmistress Kurze said to report to you for my detention ma´am."

            "It´s Dasha," she said. "Are you the kid I always see running around the castle?"

            "Yes, though sometimes I skip." Uric smiled at her. Dasha gave him a doubtful look.

            "I´m sure you do. I hope Mrs. Kurze knew what she was doing when she assigned you to me," she said, while staring off into the forest. She turned back and regarded Uric critically. Meanwhile, Uric removed on of his shoes and placed it in front of him. Dasha watched, curious about what he was doing. He stood on one foot and stared hard at the shoe. Dasha blinked. She could have sworn it hopped in place for a moment. Uric seemed satisfied, and put the shoe back on.

            "If you´re finished with your shoe, we´ll be heading into the forest now. Keep your eyes open. Wizards have gone in there and never come out," she said with relish. Uric didn´t seem to be affected by this comment, much to Dasha´s disappointment. He was still smiling when they entered under the shadow of the trees.

*****

            "Welcome back to the land of the living, Uric!" said Louis with a smile when Uric walked into the library. "Tell me all the gruesome details." He was leaning against the table near where Mena was sitting.

            "You don´t have to say anything Uric," said Mena, her voice muffled from where it lay in her arms. It was one of her favourite positions when things weren´t going well. Uric smiled at them both.

            "Well, I was thinking about brooms, and if they could mate with carpets. Because a carpet covered broom would be a lot more comfortable and-"

            "I meant what happened with Mrs. Kurze. Rumour says you got detention for a month," said Louis. Uric nodded in agreement.

            "Yes, and she took off points too. She was very confusing though and wouldn´t let me explain." He sounded almost sad. "Then she got very angry and Professor Thacher came in and pulled on my braid." Mena´s face was still hidden, but that didn´t stop her from commenting.

"You were very brave to stand up to her," she said. Louis gave her an exasperated look, and turned to Uric.  

"You should have cried, Uric."

"Cried?" asked Uric, puzzled.

"Yes. She´s used to students crying when she punishes them. When you didn´t cry, you made her angry. Now she thinks you were defying her," explained Louis.

            "I think it´s scary how much you think about these things," said Mena. She had lifted her head from her arms and was now staring studiously at the row of books to their left. Uric turned to look there as well to see what she found so interesting.

            "You obviously weren´t thinking this morning," said Louis accusingly. She finally pulled her eyes away from the shelves, and stared at Louis angrily.

            "How was I supposed to know that she would blame Uric instead of me?"

            "She knows he´s your friend Mena, and it would have been too easy to blame it on you. This way she gets to have revenge on you by proxy, and she can still make your life miserable. I would brush up on your defence skills if I were you." Louis´ voice was calm as usual, but the way he clenched the quill in his fist showed how annoyed he was. "You should at least apologize to Uric as well."

            "It´s okay. Dasha´s kneazle likes me," said Uric with a smile. Louis glanced at him.

            "That´s very good, Uric, but I still think she owes you an apology."

            "I didn´t bloody know!" Her voice caused the librarian to send a silencing charm their way, and they were forced to spend the next couple of minutes staring sullenly at each other. Well, except for Uric who was drawing what looked suspiciously like a four cornered triangle. The charm wore off rather abruptly, and Louis´ sigh sounded very loud.

            "This is ridiculous. Let´s just make a pact. Any prank one of us pulls has to be approved by the other two of us. Okay?" he asked. A stubborn look lingered on Mena´s face, but she nodded. Uric nodded as well, though it was doubtful he had been listening long enough to understand why. Louis decided to change the subject.

            "So what are you doing for detention? Still running around the castle?" Uric shook his head.

            "No. I went with Dasha into the Forbidden Forest."

            "What´s Dasha doing in the Forbidden Forest?" asked Mena.

            "Research. I got to count the birdies."

            "How about the monsters?" asked Louis sarcastically. 

            "I didn´t see any today. Maybe tomorrow?" said Uric. Louis just shook his head at Uric´s obliviousness.

            "Is the forest really as dangerous as everyone says it is?" asked Mena. Louis thought for a moment.

            "Yes. It´s a breeding ground for some of the most dangerous creatures on the planet. Not to mention the trees themselves are supposed to be alive and watching. Oh, and the centaurs. They can be very nasty when they want to be. A couple of them fought in the goblin rebellions awhile back and were asked by the Council to never do so again."

            "Wizards have gone missing there too," chimed in Uric helpfully. "Dasha told me all about them."

            "In her effort to comfort you upon entering the forest, no doubt," said Louis.

            "You must be very brave to enter into the forest then, Uric." Mena´s tone was wistful. Louis gave her a doubtful look.

            "He´s got detention in there. No choice, remember? And since when did you get so hung up on bravery?" Mena gave him an annoyed look.

            "The Gryffindors are all very brave," she said indignantly.

            "Yes, they are according to the Sorting Hat. But you aren´t a Gryffindor, judging by that badger on your robes." Mena stood up and stared at him defiantly.

            "Well maybe I wish I was!" She looked like she was going to hit him then, but seemed to change her mind, and stormed out of the library instead. Louis got a contemplative look on his face.

            "You know, with all the time she spends storming out of this place. It´s a wonder she found the time to do the research on that little hex this morning." He looked over at Uric to find him deep into transfiguring his ink blotter into a cactus. Louis sighed. "Sometimes I think I´d be better off talking to myself." He sat down and took out his Potions assignment. Mena would be back. After all, she had left her books.