Prelude to Destiny

Chapter 22

Oh, Yes, He Would

The "goodbye" thing for Matt McGrath and Diana Halbur was not so much a goodbye thing as it was a "get as sloshed as possible as quickly as possible in order to forget you hate your fellow prefects" thing. Lily didn't mind at all. In fact, being drunk, she had managed to hug and say goodbye to both Jenna and Jodie, the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff prefects, without laughing or smashing a bottle over their heads.

Christine handed Lily a fourth shot of fire whiskey after Jenna giggled about a boy and ran off to find Gregory something or other.

"You're not a prefect," Lily said to Christine, taking the shot and loving that she was already too far gone to be able to taste it. That meant good things for the rest of the five-hour train ride.

"No. Wait. Shhhh," Christine replied. "I'm being tricky."

Lily laughed and shook her head.

"You want to find me a large glass of water?" Lily asked.

"Why?" Christine asked.

"You have to chug water like a champ if you want to avoid hangovers," Lily replied. Petunia had taught her that. Christine nodded and summoned Lily a glass from a passing fifth year. Lily wondered why she hadn't thought of doing that.

"Where's Matt?" Lily asked, looking around for the Head Boy. She hadn't said goodbye to him yet.

"He's in there with Diana," Christine said, pointing to the particularly small compartment off of the main prefect one. Lily looked over at Christine. Shouldn't she have been jealous? Paranoid? Cautious? Anxious?

"Aren't you worried about that?" Lily asked, pointing with her empty glass at the closed door.

"He's not my boyfriend," Christine replied.

Oh, frick, Lily thought, Christine is nervous about the whole thing. But being Christine, she wouldn't admit it. Well, Lily would fix that. She walked right over to that door and knocked. When it slid open, Matt was standing there looking very disgruntled, but whether he looked that way because Lily had interrupted or because he was spending time with Diana, Lily didn't know.

Or she didn't until his eyes landed on Christine and his whole face lit up as he smiled. Christine smiled back, looking oddly proud.

"Matt, we still need to discuss--" Diana began.

"Nothing," Matt replied, twisting around with that smile still on his face. "We only have five more hours on this train. Let's have fun. I've enjoyed working with you all year, Diana."

"You too," Diana replied, smiling a tight smile. Matt reached out and took Christine by the hand and led her away. Lily smiled at Diana and also tried to leave, but Diana walked quickly forward and cut her off.

"Do you hate me?" Diana hissed.

"What?" Lily asked, almost dropping her glass of water out of shock. Where had that come from?

"Do you hate me? Is that why you've done these things?" Diana pressed, waving her hand widely around as if Lily had made the universe against Diana's distinct wishes.

"No. What things? I don't hate you." Lily was too drunk for this conversation.

"Then are you just mean and malicious?" Diana asked and--oh frick--she had tears in her eyes. How was Lily supposed to deal with that? "You undermined me at meetings, you were blatantly rude and disrespectful to me when I spoke, you didn't participate, you asked to leave and not to have to attend meetings, and then, out of meetings, just as Matt and I--you--"

Lily looked at Diana in shock. What? Lily hadn't meant to do any of those things. Well, okay, she could understand how Diana would think that Lily's intention was to hurt her, but she hadn't been trying to spite Diana. Honestly. She told her so.

"Then is it just that you wanted to make my job harder?" Diana asked.

"Are you drunk?" Lily asked, trying to focus on Diana's face. She didn't look drunk.

"I liked Matt and we were coming together when you forced Christine to kiss him in the corridor in front of me."

Lily could only stand gaping at this girl, horrified. Diana had liked Matt? Matt McGrath? And she thought Lily had shoved him together with Christine to spite her? Oh, that was perfect. Just effing perfect. Lily hoped Diana was drunk: very, very drunk.

"He and Christine have been dating since New Year's," Lily told her.

"What?" Diana whispered, shaking her head and staring out at the trees. She summoned herself a bottle of champagne and turned to leave. "I hope, whoever the Head Girl is next year, that you treat her with more respect that you did me."

Lily watched Diana walk away, feeling humiliated, embarrassed, and ashamed. It was official: Lily was a shitty human being.

"Is something the matter?" Gertrude asked, walking over and watching Diana's retreating back.

"Oh, no. Diana thinks I created the universe in order to spite her, but generally no, nothing's wrong." Lily leaned her head against the wall and began pounding it against it. She couldn't even feel the impact, she was so drunk.

"Stop that," Gertrude said.

"Why?" Lily asked, opening one of her eyes slightly. "Should you be talking to me right now?"

"Perhaps not. It isn't proper, but I'm now a seventh year," Gertrude replied.

"And an heir," Lily added bitterly. "Which means you're untouchable, apparently."

Gertrude looked across the room, over the heads of the students. To a casual observer, it probably it looked like Gertrude and Lily were simply standing next to one another, not talking.

"Do you know what being an heir really means, Lily?"

"You get to act snooty?" Lily guessed, still upset by Diana's accusations and deciding to take her frustrations out on Gertrude, who seemed like an emotional black hole. You couldn't hurt a black hole. They were the perfect scapegoats.

"Not even necessarily the heir to one of the seven families, but the heir to a proud family," Gertrude clarified, ignoring Lily's comment and proving Lily's black hole theory.

"My answer is still the same."

"It means responsibility," Gertrude said. Lily spotted Matt across the room smiling at Christine. " It entails an obligation to protect your family, honour them, and remain loyal to them. It is the reason why Samantha Caldwell has chosen to avoid this war and why Kevin Creggie is top of our year in Defence and why Timothy Bones is interning with the Ministry."

Lily's head was swimming and she just wanted to close her eyes and sleep until tomorrow. Oh, and she wanted to pee. She took another gulp of water. Gertrude ought to be drunker.

"In certain circles," Gertrude continued, "it also means instant respect."

"People instantly respect Sirius?" Lily asked.

"People used to," Gertrude said, and her voice was as close to sad as Lily had ever heard.

"And you?" Lily asked.

"My house knows who I am," Gertrude said, and Lily, even drunk, knew the blonde Slytherin was telling Lily that she was untouchable and respected a great deal by her house. But, Lily wondered, if Gertrude was siding with Dumbledore, how long would that respect last? Would the prestige of an old family heir overcome the taint of war?

Looking at Gertrude, Lily believed it would.

"I need more water," Lily said, shaking her empty glass.

"Lily!" Kevin exclaimed, running over and hugging Lily. Yep, he was drunk too.

~*~*~

But Lily soon decided to leave the prefect compartment and wander down the train in search of Sam. Lily thought they needed to talk again. Lily needed to tell her that she understood that she was an heir. Yep, that was Lily plan until someone grabbed her arm when she bounced against a wall. She turned to thank them for keeping her upright.

"Thank you, Peter Pettigrew," Lily greeted, smiling.

"You're welcome, Lily Evans." He was smirking. "A little tipsy, are you?"

Snape was walking down the train. Lily saw, and she called out, "I hate you!"

Peter laughed and Lily turned to him.

"No, I do hate him," Lily insisted. "He's so mean to me for absolutely no reason. What've I ever done to him? Did I get the girl he liked together with one of my best friends or undermine him at prefect meetings? No. No, I did not."

"I really think I ought to take you--"

"I want to go to the loo," Lily announced, pulling away from Peter and moving further down the train. Peter slid a door open.

"Sirius," Peter hissed so quietly that Lily would not have heard him if she hadn't had just simply amazing hearing. She spun around so fast that she had to take a single step forward to balance. "Lily's sloshed"

Sirius peaked his grinning head out of the compartment and almost laughed when he saw Lily glaring at him.

"I'm just a little drunk," Lily told him, holding up two fingers.

"How's that working out for you?" Sirius asked, stepping out of the compartment and leaning against the wall opposite her. Peter smiled too.

"It would be fabulous if I could find Sam and the loo," Lily said, choosing to be mature and not hex him for looking so stuffed up.

"That's an odd combination," Peter noted.

"I have to pee and I have to tell her that I know she's an heir--oh! So are you, Sirius." Lily waved a hand in his general direction. "Actually, where's James?"

"You want him to take advantage of you while you're in this state?" Sirius suggested, smiling.

"No," she said condescendingly. "I want to tell him I think he's fabulous."

"I thought I was fabulous," Sirius complained.

"She did say that," Peter said, nodding. Lily glared at him. "And everyone's saying you're dating. You better watch out, Sirius. She's trying to cheat on you."

"And with my best friend too," Sirius said.

"I don't think either of you is being funny," Lily complained.

"So James isn't fabulous?" Sirius asked.

"He is," Lily said, sighing. "You too, but he's just... different. You think he'll wait for me?"

"Why do you always tell me these things about James?" Sirius asked. He was joking. Maybe. Lily didn't really know. He could have been honestly asking her. She was too drunk to know. "Why don't you tell him?"

"Because it would inflate his already too big ego," Lily replied, then stopped, thought about what she'd said, and reconsidered her opinion. "Or maybe not. Maybe he's really Remus. I don't know. I'm still really confused."

"Yeah."

"I don't know if I can trust him," Lily complained, feeling a wave of sadness that made her blink back tears. Alcohol sure made her emotional. "Who is he?"

"He's James," Sirius answered.

"I know," Lily said, still blinking. "I know that. It's just I don't know that yet. I don't believe that and I'm frustrated but I still like him and I think I have to just get over it, but I can't just forget. But I'll try. I'll try really hard."

"You're going to feel so stupid in about five seconds," Sirius said. Damn that smile. She hated that smile and told him so. Then thought about what he said.

"Why am I going to feel stupid?" Lily asked.

"Because I'm going to cast the Sobering Charm on you."

"I hate that charm," Lily mumbled. "It's really a curse. It never does any good."

Sirius began muttering the charm.

"Is James with a girl?" Lily asked suddenly. "I told him he could be, but thinking about that hurts."

"Trust me," Sirius said, "he's not with another girl." He cast the charm and Lily blinked at him a few times, glad for the water she'd been drinking because the sobering was not accompanied by a headache, but she did realize how desperately she really wanted to find a loo.

"It's quite the party up in the prefect compartment," Lily said to fill to awkward silence. Sirius laughed and Peter smiled.

"Still want to find James?"

"No," Lily replied, looking down at her toes and almost-but-not-quite managing to not feel like an idiot. "I'm off to the loo."

"And then to find James?" Sirius asked, winking.

"No," Lily denied, turning to head down to the closest loo.

But if Lily Evans ever imagined Sirius Black could be quiet about her location, she was proven wrong as the door to the loo opened and James Potter walked in as Lily was washing her hands.

She stared at him for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts.

"You're in the girl's loo," she said.

"Yes. It's very nice in here," James noted, staring at her. She felt a blush creep up onto her cheeks. "Much nicer than the bloke's loo. I should write Dumbledore a strongly worded letter about that."

"Like Sirius's letters to the Chocolate Frog company?" Lily asked, trying to break the ice with some humour.

"He told you about those?" James asked, smiling.

"No, Dumbledore did."

"Did he now?" James asked. "No wonder they never write Sirius back."

"Yep, no wonder." And then Lily became very aware of the fact that she was in the loo with James Potter. In a very small room in general with him. It felt very, very awkward after a moment.

"I don't want to just keep yelling at you and then kissing you," Lily said. James nodded across from her, a smile creeping across his face as he kept staring. Well, if he thought she'd be the first to look away he had another think coming.

"So," he began, "have a great holiday."

"That's what you came in here to say?" Lily asked, smiling despite her best efforts. Eyes twinkling, he shook his head.

"I hear you were drunk." He was definitely smirking. How irritating. How freaking attractive. He looked so good, standing there, arms crossed over his chest, smirking at her.

"And I was loving being drunk until that idiotic best friend of yours decided to remedy the situation."

"He is a bother sometimes," James agreed, taking a step forward.

"But he's also fabulous," Lily said, taking her own step.

"So I hear." That smirk was just so freaking edible.

"Jealous?" Lily asked, tearing her eyes away from his mouth to look into his amused eyes.

"Of Sirius?" James asked, shaking his head. "I hear he's going to be your date at your sister's wedding."

"I needed someone to impress my sister's new in-laws." Lily scooted a little closer, close enough to reach out and touch him if she wanted. Close enough for him to touch her.

"Good choice." James's hand came and rested on her hip, sending tingles out through the rest of her body. Frick that felt amazing and it was barely a touch. Lily fought the urge to close her eyes as he took a step forward.

"He'll charm the hell out of them all," Lily managed to say in an only-slightly-shaky voice. He laughed a deep laugh and came yet closer, nodding.

"Yes, he will," he said, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Why didn't you ask me?"

Oh his breath was doing amazing things to her ear. And then he was kissing her ear and she nearly melted against him, reaching out a hand and clutching his shoulder.

"I'm giving you the holidays to think," she whispered, twisting her head so that now his lips were right in front of hers.

"Right," he said sceptically.

Lily laughed lightly, wanting so much to move forward just a fraction of an inch and let herself kiss this bloke she had liked for two years, the bloke she thought was funny and clever and amazing looking, the bloke she belonged with.

"I hear you thought I was with a girl," James said. Why wasn't he kissing her, pulling her closer? Why was he so close and not yet close enough?

"Yes, well, I'm stupid," Lily said, figuring she should just make the first move. She leaned in and he leaned back just as quickly, avoiding her kiss.

"No," James said. "I heard what you said Lily."

"What?" Lily asked, upset and ashamed as she stepped away from him. Oh, she'd tried to kiss him and he'd--oh, he probably thought she was a slag or something now. Frick. Oh frick. She was such a fool.

"I heard what you said about us," he repeated, not trying to move closer to her.

"About not wanting to yell and kiss?" Lily asked. "We haven't yelled yet. We're fine."

"No," he said, and his voice was strained. Was she crazy to have thought he wanted to kiss her? She didn't know. She felt crazy, but that could have more to do with the horribly enticing way he reached a hand out and circled his finger around on her left side. "What you told Dumbledore about Carpenter and that project, I heard that. I know what you meant. We need to know each other as each other, you know? You need to know that I'm me and that I know you."

"You're babbling nonsensically," Lily said. James laughed, smiling that endearing, heartbreaking, painful smile.

"We can't just kiss each other." At her look, he added, "Not that I don't want to, I do. And I know I sound like a poof, but I don't just want to kiss you until we're both sick of one another and then have us realize that we still aren't comfortable around each other. I like talking to you, too, and laughing with you, and sauntering with you."

Lily reminded him, "You saunter. I meander."

"Right, well--"

The door opened, or began to open, when Lily rushed over and grabbed it so that it couldn't be opened any further.

"Yes?" Lily asked, agitated.

"Oh. Um. Hello. Lily, right?" the girl asked. Lily recognized her immediately: the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Nancy Adams.

"Yes. Nancy, hi. How are you?"

"Good," she replied uncertainly. "Can I use the loo?"

"Would you mind terribly finding a different one?"

"Why?" Nancy asked. Why she couldn't have just left, Lily did not know.

"I'm trying to snog a bloke in here," Lily replied, figuring making the girl uncomfortable would make her run. Lily heard a bit of laughter behind her and smiled as James moved to her left, hidden by the door, his right hand resting on her back.

"Sirius Black?" Nancy asked. This time Lily laughed and James arm wrapped possessively around her middle, bringing his body closer and into Nancy's line of site.

"No," Lily replied, smiling, "not Sirius Black."

Nancy's eyes were wide as she stared at James. "James?"

"Hello, Nancy," he replied, pressing his side against Lily. She couldn't stop smiling, thinking about how this must look to an outsider: like a girlfriend having a secret rendezvous with her sworn enemy who was also her boyfriend's best friend. Ha!

"Are you two dating?" Nancy asked.

"Each other?" Lily said, wording it to create drama. "No, we're not dating."

Nancy nodded, said some more small chat, and finally fled. Lily and Jams shut the door laughing.

"That's going to create quite the stir," James said.

"And it'll be freaking hilarious," Lily replied. He unwrapped his arm from around her waist and backed up. Lily missed him immediately.

"Okay. Maybe I'm a little jealous that everyone thinks you and Sirius are dating," James admitted. Lily laughed.

"Not just dating," Lily replied. "The first years tell me that we're getting married secretly over the summer because I'm carrying his child. It's all very complex."

"So you're the girl his mother wrote that Howler about," James said, joking.

Lily shrugged. "What can I say? We've been hiding our love from everyone for years."

They smiled at each other.

"You know," Lily said, "I miss talking to you."

"We're talking now," James reminded her.

"I know, but that's not what I meant," Lily said. "Like after I finished my practice N.E.W.T.s I just wanted to run up to Remus and talk to him about it, and then I remembered that he was you and I just-- I was a tad frustrated. I forgave you for what you did. That was so easy, forgiving you, because I understand why you did it and I'm even beginning to be a little happy. But I still don't believe that you're--him. Wow. That sounds so stupid."

"No," James said, a smile lit up his face. "When I first started patrolling with you, I couldn't believe the way you were acting. I kept hearing what you said, making me laugh, and I just couldn't believe this was the same Lily Evans that I'd been chasing after for a year."

Lily laughed. "A year?"

"Or two," James amended, shocking Lily. Really? Was that true? Her heart constricted. "You called me a Transfiguration prodigy and said that Sirius was insane. You played a game in the middle of the night with your friends. You made sickle bets. You lied to Filch. You tackled Filch! And I was so sure I knew you in fifth year. I didn't."

"Sirius said that to me too," Lily noted, trying not to blush as she gestured at his face.

"Well, it's true," James said. "You weren't demure or uptight like I imaged you might have been."

"Did you really just use the word demure?"

"Yes," James said, "like 'lovely,' is that a word I should purge from my vocabulary?"

"Only if you want that girl you like to think you're interested in women."

"Ha! See, it was comments like that which I hadn't expected from you," James said. "Sirius, that night your ex visited, came up to me and said, 'I was wrong. I approve. She's brilliant. What's your plan?'"

Lily laughed and shook her head, feeling more than a little embarrassed.

"Sirius is a little blunt, isn't he?" Lily asked.

"More than that," James said. "He told me that night that he was going to have so much fun with this whole thing, told me we simply had to date."

"He told me we should have started dating at eleven, and in his F.A.D. letter he gave me a very, very blatant hint that I was being obtuse, which, being obtuse, I missed," Lily said.

"Oh, that was the embarrassing night of the potato talk," James said, laughing. And Lily laughed too, more out of embarrassment than anything else.

"You know, on patrols, you had this look on your face--I called that the Remus look--when you seemed to be reassessing everything about me and I adored that look. I just basically adored patrolling with you."

"That's because I'm adorable," James answered, shrugging and smirking. Lily leaned over and squeezed his cheek.

"Just so adorable," she said condescendingly. He looked at her then with laughter in his eyes, leaning in and kissing her cheek before he backed up to the door.

"So the holidays then?" he asked, hand on the door. A pang of regret coursed through Lily even as she nodded.

"I just--" She wanted somehow to explain why this was so important to her, why she needed these few months, why she needed to know that this was still something that he wanted after a large amount of time. She didn't want to have him with her for a week and then come back in September to awkwardness. It would kill her.

"You need to be convinced," James offered, smiling. "I understand. Promise."

Lily walked forward and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Please convince me.

Backing away from him, they both smiled, and then he opened the door and left. Lily took a moment to compose herself, washed her hands again, and then headed out of the loo in search of Sam and Tracy.

~*~*~

"Can we talk?" Lily asked, standing in the open door of her friend's compartment. Tracy and Sam looked back at her, sort of shocked, and nodded. Tracy scooted over against the window so that Lily could sit after she shut the door.

"Christine's not here," Tracy said.

"She's with Matt in the Prefect compartment," Lily answered, fully aware of the role reversal there: Tracy was normally the one that kept track of Christine, wasn't she? Lily shook her head, trying not to distract herself.

The three of girls sat staring at each other for a moment too long. Sam met Lily's gaze. Tracy couldn't drag her eyes away from the floor.

"I know you lot didn't mean to hurt me," Lily began.

"We didn't," Tracy adamantly agreed, looking up.

"It was just such a shock," Lily said. Sam nodded, still silent.

"I almost killed Sirius when I figured it out," Tracy said. Lily wanted to smile, but an echo of her earlier anger and irritation flared. She wanted to ask Tracy why she hadn't come to Lily at the beginning of the freaking year when she realized that James liked her. Why had Tracy waited until James and Sirius kept something from her before she wanted to talk about everything?

"I remember seeing Sirius pick you up and drag you out of the common room," Lily said.

"I elbowed him in the head," Tracy said, "and Peter was busy trying to convince Sam not to say anything, to give James time."

The scorn in her voice made Lily sort of flinch, but before she could even begin to tell Tracy about the deal she had made with James, Sam interrupted.

"You've forgiven James," Sam said. Lily looked over at her, stared for a moment, trying to remember that Sam had once seemed able to read Lily's mind. Then Lily nodded.

"What?" Tracy sounded distraught.

"I understand why he did it," Lily mumbled, feeling silly.

"You forgave him because you like him," Tracy accused, "and you still haven't forgiven two of your best friends."

"Well, I understand what he did," Lily returned, looking out the window of the compartment, "and to tell you the truth, if I'd thought of it, I would have made myself look like Sirius if it meant I could have spent time with James."

"Ew," Tracy said.

Lily laughed. "I didn't mean--ha! Sorry. No. That wasn't where I was going with that."

"Then where were you going with it?" Sam asked. Lily gave her friend a shrug and a half smile.

"I still don't really understand why you did what you did," Lily said. "I would have just told you everything."

"We thought this was the only way," Tracy said. Lily took a deep breath, trying not to snap about what an idiotic thought that had been.

"Well, in any case, I wanted you to know that I forgive you. It was a shock. It hurt. But I'm not about to let this get in the middle of six years of friendship."

Well, okay, that was a bit of a lie. Lily had already let this upset six years of friendship, but she was working to stop the bitterness and anger that she still felt. Lily just knew that if she didn't make this okay before they all left this train, coming back next year would be horrific and then all of seventh year would be awkward. She didn't want her final year at Hogwarts to be the worst one.

"Did you read my letter?" Tracy asked. And a flare of anger went through Lily again, but she shook it away.

"Yes."

"And?" Tracy asked.

She looked so earnest, so eager that Lily sort of wanted to curse her. Lily mentally went through the letter and her possible reactions again: I want to kill you for the Wednesday night study idea; I want to kill you for not telling me that James was talking to you about me; I want to kill you for talking to him about me at all; I want to kill you for lying to me; but most of all I want to kill you for making this all about you, Tracy.

"I'm sorry you lost the Quidditch Cup," Lily said. Luckily, Tracy laughed in response. Lily smiled.

"I missed you, Lily," Tracy said, leaning over and hugging her. Lily nodded in response even though she honestly wasn't sure she had missed Tracy and she wondered why before realizing that she'd had Sirius and Christine and Gertrude to fill that void.

Sam and Tracy had been Lily's closest friends for years. They had been comfortable and fun and everything that Lily had needed. But somehow this new seventeen-year-old Lily Evans needed something else from her friends, something that was not exactly comfortable, something that was not exactly perfect. She needed people that knew comfort and perfection were overrated. She needed reality from her new friends. She needed people that knew the world was not black and white, that knew friends didn't have to be the same, that knew Lily Evans could be happy having dinner with a Slytherin and tackling Sirius Black in a the corridor even though she had gone to the Ball.

And unfortunately, Samantha Caldwell and Tracy McGrath were no longer the people that worked with Lily Evans.

But still, they were friends. They would always be friends. Maybe not close, but forever bound together by a childhood friendship that helped shape the people they would become.

~*~*~

After three hours of conversation, the train pulled into the station. Amidst hugs, the girls said their goodbyes and then collected their trunks and pulled them off the train to waiting parents. Lily passed by Tracy's family.

"Bye, Lily!" Will called out. "See you next year!"

"See you next year, Will," Lily replied, smiling. "I'd hug you goodbye, but I don't want to embarrass you."

Will smiled and nodded, then glanced around, raced forward, and wrapped his arms around Lily quickly before racing back to his parents, a blush on his cheeks. Mr. and Mrs. McGrath waved, smiling. Lily laughed. Christine, who stood next to Matt, also came up to hug Lily goodbye.

"You all right, sweety?" Lily asked. Christine, who looked particularly sad, shook her head. "Why not?"

"He's not coming back next year," Christine mumbled, and Lily hugged her friend tighter. Oh, how sad.

"Matt'll visit you," Lily assured her.

"But he won't, you know, be there," Christine said, sounding as if she were on the verge of crying.

"He'll write you."

"But he won't be there," Christine repeated and Lily could say no more comforting words. No, Matt wouldn't be there. He wouldn't. This was probably the first time Christine had let Lily see how very attached she was to Matt. Lily had always known, but for Christine to be so open about it she must have been really sad. Lily was taken aback by concern and love for her friend.

A hand on her shoulder made Lily break out of the hug and turn to find Matt McGrath standing behind her looking sadly at Christine and then sort of smiling at Lily.

"It's been a great year," he said. Lily nodded, giving him a quick hug.

"It has," she said, looking at Christine. The blonde girl was trying to blink back her tears.

"I'm sure I'll see you both over the holidays," Lily said. "Matt, you only live a few blocks from me so work on that, and I'm sure Christine will visit you loads."

"She will," Matt agreed, looking at Christine. Christine smiled, but then seemed ready to cry again, even if she obviously didn't want to. Matt reached out and grabbed Christine's shoulder, pulling her into a tight hug. They stood there for a while and Lily felt like an unnecessary third wheel until Sirius Black wrapped his arms around her middle from behind, picked her up, and twirled her away as she shrieked.

"Put me down. Down. Down. Down." When he did set her down, Lily turned to face him, half laughing and half horrified. "Personal boundaries, remember?"

"Right, I don't respect those, remember?" Sirius replied. He crossed his arms and smiled at her. "So, I hear you're cheating on me with Sputnik."

Lily laughed. "Oh no! Who told you?"

"Nancy Adams confronted me immediately," Sirius said. "So are you really cheating on me?"

"No," Lily said. "I'm sure he'll tell you about it later."

"He will. We're like twins."

"I know, I hear McGonagall complain about it all the time," Lily said, flicking his arm.

"What was that flick for?"

"The holidays. I just thought a pre-emptive strike was in order," Lily said.

"What could I do to you over the holidays?"

"Harass James about me? Talk about me?" Lily suggested.

"Oh, right, well that was a given," Sirius said. Lily smiled at him.

"I'm going to miss you, Sirius Black," Lily said.

"You know something, Lily? I'm going to miss you too," Sirius said in an uncharacteristically sincere voice. Lily smiled up him, winking.

"You'll miss me, eh, Sirius?" she said suggestively, leaning in and whispering, "Does Sputnik know?"

"No. Sputnik's a jealous bugger. I'm keeping it from him," Sirius replied, shaking his head with mock-sadness. He looked over his shoulder and Lily followed his gaze, noticing James standing with two people who might have been his parents, looking back at her. She waved and smiled at him, feeling very brave and forward. He waved back, raising his eyebrows at Sirius and then looking at a pair of first years watching them avidly. Ha! That was great.

"I'm off to live with the Potters," Sirius said. That's right. Lily remembered, now, hearing him talk about running away from his family on New Year's Eve. Something about the Ball.

"That's nice."

"Their house is amazing. They have these fabulous cats and I even get a room in the family wing."

"The family wing?" Lily repeated, incredulous. Sirius laughed. "You must be joking."

"Good to know you're not after him for his money," Sirius said.

"I'm after him for his family, actually, the magical lineage and all," Lily joked, glad to return to joking with Sirius about James, but a dark look crossed Sirius's face for a moment and he scared Lily a little.

"Well, families do determine everything about a person," Sirius replied. Lily saw his eyes focus on her and that guilt was creeping into him again.

"Puh," Lily said, brushing his comment and his look aside, trying to lighten the mood. "Families don't determine the type of person you are. Look at my Muggle family. And I'm sure Dumbledore's got some crazy ducks in his family tree."

"Dumbledore is the crazy duck."

"Right, I'd almost forgotten," Lily said.

"You're going to write me twelve page missives, right?" Sirius asked, changing the subject. Lily laughed.

"Who do you think you are? Did you just ask if I was going to write you a 'missive'?" Lily shook her head at him. "And why don't you write me?"

"I'm a bloke," Sirius said condescendingly. "We don't do that."

"That sucks because I'm a girl and we don't write first."

"Then we find ourselves in a conundrum," Sirius said. "Unless, of course, you let James write you--"

"You're still coming with me to my sister's wedding, yes?" Lily asked, taking charge and changing the subject on her own.

"August 15th, I'm the best date you'll ever have," Sirius agreed. Then his face fell into an exaggerated frown. "Do I have to wear one of those--those tie things?"

"Shut it, Sirius," Lily said. "Pretend all you want, but I know you're secretly very able to handle yourself in proper company."

"We'll just have to see about that when I turn up with a tie around my knee."

"See? You knew that wasn't where the tie belonged."

"Foiled again," Sirius mumbled.

"I'm off, then," Lily said, jerking her head in the direction of her waiting parents. Sirius gave them a wave and then turned back to Lily.

"About the wedding," he said, "owl me to make sure I don't forget."

"All right," Lily agreed, reaching out and hugging him briefly, tightly. "Bye."

"You know, James is over there if you just want to give him a goodbye--"

"A goodbye kiss?" Lily asked. "Sure, I'll just walk up and snog him senseless in front of his parents and a bunch of students that think I'm dating you."

"I was going to say a goodbye shag, but a snog might work."

"You should hang around Christine more often," Lily said, She summoned her trunk over from where Christine and Matt were still talking, and pulled her magically lightened trunk over to her parents. She loved being of age.

"Goodbye, Lily Evans!" Sirius shouted across the platform. Lily, laughing, yelled back.

"Goodbye, Sirius Black!"

Her parents looked at her expectantly as she approached. She had already said hello to them, only to then ask that she could say goodbye to some friends before they left.

"Who was that boy?" Faith Evans asked. Her father just stood there scowling. Couldn't get over his little girl dating, could he?

"That's my friend Sirius who I'm bringing to Petunia's wedding," Lily replied as her father took hold of the trunk and put it on the cart. Obviously not expecting it to be so light, he over balanced and almost fell over.

"I lightened it," Lily explained.

"You what?" her father asked, confused.

"Just something I learned at school," Lily said, feeling another brick added to the wall between her father and her. But she brushed that aside. This was her family. No matter what came between them, they were connected through roots they could never break. Ever. Lily refused to let those roots be cut.

"Lily, I think Sam wants to talk to you," Mrs. Evans said, pointing over Lily's shoulder where Sam stood. Lily thanked her mother and excused herself briefly as she walked over to her friend.

"Hey, Sam," Lily greeted, leaning in and hugging her friend uncertainly. Sam didn't look that well.

"Lily, I didn't mean to give you twenty feet of parchment and disappear," Sam whispered in Lily's ear. "And I know you haven't completely forgiven us yet, but maybe by September, things will be easier."

They backed out of the hug.

"I'll write you every week," Sam said.

"And I'll respond to every second owl," Lily joked. And it was almost funny except that both girls felt like they were lying.

"Bye, Lily," Sam said.

"Bye, Sam," Lily replied, watching her friend leave as her mother called her to get in the car. Lily had almost forgotten how well Sam knew her, knew her emotions, knew that she needed twenty feet of parchment instead of a lecture about opening up.

No, Sam, Tracy, and Lily would never have exactly the same relationship they'd had before, but in September things would be better, or they would be better at pretending nothing had changed.

~*~*~

The car ride home was filled with catching up: Lily learned that Petunia was at a dress fitting and that hers was scheduled for tomorrow and despite her best efforts, Lily was a little excited; Lily told her parents about the practice N.E.W.Ts and her seventh year project; she told them about having a row with Sirius Black and how he lined the walls of her school with lilies; and she told them Christine and Matt dating. It was the last one that shocked her mother the most, though her father was focused on other information.

"Are you and Sirius Black dating?" Mr. Evans asked.

"No, Dad. He was actually trying to force me and his best friend together," Lily said, wondering what she had written about in her progressively-shorter letters home. How did her parents not know about Sirius Black, who was now such a large part of her life?

"And that Christian boy?"

"I haven't seen him in months," Lily said vaguely, hoping her parents wouldn't ask further questions about that. She still wasn't sure how much they understood-- or wanted to understand-- about the Ball.

"Good." Lily smiled at her dad's response.

~*~*~

June and July ended in a flurry of dress fittings and introductions and stressed-out Petunia moments. She wanted so much for her wedding to be perfect. The family tried to help out, tried to convince her it would be, but she was on edge and ready to snap at anyone - read: Lily - whenever anything went wrong.

Of course, Petunia actually had a legitimate reason to scream at Lily's sixth fitting (the first five dressmakers, Petunia had discovered after they'd finished with Lily, were all horrid).

"Are you sure you want me to where green?" Lily asked at the woman loosely wrapped the tape around her middle.

"I picked the bride's maids dresses with you in mind, Lily, and you're complaining?" Petunia asked, almost hysterical as she flipped the page in her wedding cake book. She'd cancelled her original order the day before.

"No, not complaining," Lily said. Her sister was in enough of a mood as it was without Lily having to add anything to it. That, of course, was when the owl came flying into the room.

"Ahhhhhhh!" the dressmaker screamed, avoiding stabbing Lily in the eye with her nails only because Lily jumped off her stool and called the owl down to her arm, where it landed.

By then Petunia was shrieking too. She and the dressmaker were competing, it seemed, for shrillest shriek. Mrs. Evans came running in trying to calm them, but that entailed yelling and the whole thing was becoming a disaster.

Lily untied a thick roll of parchment and sent the bird on its way.

After some cajoling - and flat out lying to the dressmaker--Mrs. Evans moved the fitting right along. Not that Lily cared. All Lily really cared about was the fact that in her hand she held a letter from a friend. She wondered who it could be from. Christine was horrible at writing over the holidays, but she had stopped by twice with Matt. Matt wrote Lily only to say when they were coming over. Gertrude hadn't written her all summer, not that Lily had really expected her to write. Sam didn't write her either, and that was a bit more of a surprise. Tracy wrote her short notes to talk about meaningless things. Lily wrote back with equally empty letters, a bit sad at this turn of events.

Sirius wrote her religiously: every third day his owl would hop up on her windowsill and wait to be noticed. She'd write back immediately, his well-trained owl waiting for her to finish her own letter, no matter how long it took.

But the owl that came to the fitting was not an owl Lily recognized.

In the car on the way home, as Petunia sobbed something awful about her wedding falling apart and Mrs. Evans tried to console her, Lily opened the letter and began to read.

~*~*~

Lily,

This, in case you were wondering, is a letter from James: me (not you). I'm not writing this because Sirius is pestering me to, though he is and if you could tell him to stop that would be LOVELY. Okay. This is actually a copy of the revised essay I wrote for Carpenter on my Muggle Studies project. Enjoy.

James

Lily looked up at her sister and mother in the front seats and surreptitiously kept reading, wondering if she was about to read about cheese in a can or something equally ridiculous.

Assignment, part three: Talk to a Muggle-born student and ask them what they miss most about the Muggle world. Does it correspond to what they believe they gave up to come to Hogwarts? Why or why not?

When I first started this assignment, I thought I knew everything about the Muggle world already. I have gotten high marks on all of my tests and exams in this class, and I knew what I would miss most: whipped cream in a can. I still want to try that delightful Muggle invention. So I wrote my essay and asked Lily Evans if I could put her name on it. She said yes in a way I now recognize was dismissive.

And I received a "redo" on this section of the project.

I deserved to have to redo it, too. (I've never admitted deserving a redo before and if you could keep this from McGonagall, it would be appreciated.)

I hadn't thought about how learning a new skill--a skill your family can't imagine, let alone begin to understand--would affect a family or a Muggle-born student.

Coming to Hogwarts, Lily Evans gave up her family, her right to every Muggle dream she had as a child. She gave up steering a boat around the world and going to a University and the ability to have her parents understand not simply her education, but also her choices, her eventual job, even her homework--her life.

She gave all of that up when she was eleven, when she could not have known what she was choosing. She only imagined she was becoming a part of a fairytale without realizing that threats like Voldemort and Grindelwald really exist. She made a choice, before she understood what it meant, and gave up all of her childhood friends to pursue the seemingly perfect dream of magic that Muggles have when they are young.

She misses her sister Petunia, her childhood best mate Adrianna, her parents, even football. She misses the world her eleven-year-old self knew. She misses feeling safe.

But most of all, now that she is seventeen, Lily misses the magical world when she isn't there, because yes, she gave up loads to join Hogwarts, she misses a lot, too, but, in the end, after six years of emersion, she can't help but have new dreams for the future, dreams that eclipse her childhood ones. Fueled with magic and all of the new magical possibilities, Lily has learned that she would give up magic for no one. She would miss it too much.

Instead, as with her seventh year project, she will create new spells and fight the bias that exists in parts of the magical world as best she can.

She gave up her childhood dreams and found a grown-up purpose at Hogwarts.

Well, Lily thought, that was a bit personal for James to have turned in to a professor, especially one Lily did not know. It was a bit personal for James to have written at all. How had he remembered all of their conversations so well, all of Lily's passing mentions of Adrianna and football and her dream to sail around the world?

"Are you all right, Lily?" Faith Evans asked, turning around. Lily shrugged and nodded, realizing they were home. "You're crying."

Lily stepped out of the car and stood on her driveway, looking up at her white Muggle home. She looked at her mother staring worriedly at her. She saw Petunia even looking concerned. She wanted to tell them about this letter, tell them that James really was Remus, about the potion and the trickery and how this letter had convinced her that James was fine, James was better than fine. But that seemed crazy and telling them that would probably only worry them more.

"I really missed you both this year," Lily said, rolling up the parchment and shoving it in her back pocket. "And I'm so excited that you're getting married in ten days, Petunia."

"Oh," Petunia said, narrowing her eyes at her. "Thank you."

"Yes, dear, thank you," Mrs. Evans said, wrapping an arm around Lily as the three of them made it into the house and then to the kitchen to start dinner. There was a mess of parchment on the counter that Lily had left there for going on a week now.

"Lily, I really need you to decide and move all of this stuff one way or the other," Mrs. Evans said, opening the fridge but indicating the parchment with a nod of her head.

Lily looked down at the pile, at the letter with Dumbledore's signature and the shiny Head Girl badge resting on top of the envelope it came in. She looked at that gold-coloured badge and thought about everything it meant, everything she had thought she did not want: responsibility; pressure; her peers thinking she thought she was better than them; McGonagall on her case; leading meetings; students looking up to her like she knew what she was doing; and the need to lead these students through a year when Voldemort may or may not be caught, may or may not kill another family, kill another student, kill Dumbledore.

Lily picked up the badge and, as she had done each day since it arrived, wondered if she deserved to be placed at the head of the school, deserved the lead them, could lead them. She thought about Gertrude telling her that she thought Lily was a one half of the leader Hogwarts needed. She thought about Rebecca saying she wanted Lily to be Head Girl. She thought about how hard Sirius would laugh at her appointment and how McGonagall might keel over and how Diana would have killed her, had she known Lily would be offered the position.

But no matter how much she wondered, one thing was true: Lily had big plans, big dreams, dreams that truly did eclipse her childhood ones. And she was not about to let her own fear, let alone fear of what anyone else might think of her, keep her from accomplishing great things.

~*~*~

The day before the wedding, Lily came home from a run to find her room filled with white roses.

"Mum, did Sirius stop by today?" Lily asked her mother as Faith raced down the hall with a handful of pins.

"Who? No." Her mother disappeared into the room that Lily now referred to as 'the changing room.'

"Dad?" Lily asked, popping her head into her parents's room.

"Yes?"

"Any idea why my room suddenly looks like a botanical garden?"

"Oh, yes. Right. The florists had the wrong day. I'm calling them right now." He shut the door. Lily looked up and down the hall, miffed. Where was she supposed to sleep?

~*~*~

The easy answer to that question: Petunia's room. Petunia-the-frantic-bride-to-be's room. Petunia-who-couldn't-sleep-for-all-her-nerves's room.

"Are you asleep, Lily?" Petunia asked in the middle of the night.

"No. Your tossing and turnings hasn't exactly been conducive to sleep," Lily muttered, lifting her head briefly off the floor and focusing her eyes on the place where she knew her sister was laying. The room was too dark to see the bed in detail, but she saw the outline.

"Lily, I'm getting married in almost twenty hours," Petunia said.

"Less than that, really." Lily put her head back on her pillow.

"You're really not helping me fall asleep, you know."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes," Petunia whispered. "I'm so nervous and excited that I'm shaking."

"Want to talk about it?"

"With you?"

"No, the other idiot lying on your floor," Lily sniped.

"If you're going to use that tone, then no, I don't want to talk about it." The two sisters lay there for a few more silent seconds. "I love him so much." Lily could hear the smile in her sister's words.

"Vernon?" Lily asked stupidly.

"Yes," Petunia said. Lily couldn't deny that Vernon Dursley seemed to fit Petunia perfectly--though his sister, with her horrid table manners and disposition did not. He had a forceful personality and drive and ambition. He would have been a Slytherin with his business plans already in the works.

"Do you think he really wants to spend forever with me?" Petunia asked.

"Of course he does," Lily replied. If there was anything Lily gleaned from the rehearsal dinner, it was that Vernon Dursley saw something in Petunia that Lily regretted missing. He told her Petunia that she was everything he needed to succeed in life. He called her beautiful and meant it. Lily had felt badly for wanting to scoff. She wasn't twelve. She wasn't a six year old on the playground teasing her sister about her looks. She was seventeen and her sister was twenty-three and getting married.

"How'd you meet him?" Lily asked.

"At the butcher's." Lily laughed. How perfect. "I was still dating Peter at the time. It was early September."

"What?" Lily asked, scandalized. She hadn't known he sister was dating someone else when she met Vernon.

"I know," Petunia whispered. "I smiled at Vernon and he says when he saw me he knew he had to have me."

"Bit possessive, wasn't he?" Lily asked.

"He didn't care that I was dating another bloke, he asked for my name and looked up the family number. Said he called thirty Evanses in the area before finding our house." Petunia's voice was so light and happy. Lily didn't think she'd ever heard her sister sound this happy. "He came by every day. I told him I was seeing someone. He said he'd wait for me to come to my senses. And I did. I've never been happy."

"I'm happy for you," Lily said, and she meant it.

"I should sleep," Petunia said.

"Take the sleeping pill Mum left you," Lily suggested.

"I took it ten minutes ago."

"Oh," Lily said, smiling. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Even as she failed to fall asleep, Lily wondered if James would be as willing to wait for Lily as Vernon had been for Petunia. Then she mentally smacked herself for being so self-centred and for thinking about James at all.

~*~*~

The next morning was so full of last minute changes that Lily did not see her sister until about an hour before the ceremony began. Lily was waiting in her bride's maid dress for Sirius to arrive. She had to introduce him to her parents and Petunia at some point, and had suggested he come over early so that Faith Evans could drill him early if she so desired.

There was a knock at the door and Lily raced over to open it, excited to see her friend after nearly two months apart. He looked impeccable in a Muggle outfit with black pants, a blue collared shirt, and shiny black shoes. Lily briefly wondered if Mrs. Potter had helped him pick out the outfit.

"Hello, Sirius," Lily said, giving him a welcoming hug. He barely hugged her back, his jaw clenched. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," Sirius said, stepping inside. But he wasn't fine. He didn't even teased Lily about her bride's maid dress which fell to the floor and had sleeves out to her elbows.

"Lily, is this your friend Sirius?" Faith Evans asked, obviously pushing Lily for an introduction. Lily complied. Sirius shook Mr. Evans's hand and took Mrs. Evans's hand and stepped up to kiss her cheek hello, muttering, 'How do you do?' to both of them. Lily looked at him with wide eyes while her parents made small talk about school and things. After a few minutes the parents retreated into the kitchen.

"You sure you're all right?" Lily asked Sirius. He looked at her and nodded.

"Why?"

"You're distracted."

"How can you tell that?" Sirius asked.

"Because you only demonstrate manners when you're distracted, when you aren't consciously trying to forget them. And your accent reverts," Lily said. "It's like you're forgetting to forget your childhood etiquette lessons--"

"Drop it, Lily," Sirius snapped. Lily blinked at him. She'd never heard Sirius use that tone before. Certainly not with her, anyway. She'd been joking, but he was angry. Petunia raced down the stairs and through the living room, stopping when she noticed the guest and quickly offering her hand to him and introducing herself.

"I'm Sirius Black," he said. "Congratulations on the wedding."

"Thank you," Petunia said, smiling. "I'm sorry, I have to run."

"Not a problem," Sirius said. "It was nice to meet you, Petunia."

Petunia was gone a moment later, leaving Lily looking closely at Sirius, who told her to stop it again. She was about to saying something when she remembered James telling her a long time ago that Sirius did not seem to want his help, would not accept his help. Lily figured the best thing she could do would be to avoid the subject.

"How'd you do on your practice N.E.W.T.s?" Lily asked.

"Pretty horribly, actually," Sirius said, "but as I didn't study for them and I treated them as a joke since they didn't matter to my actual marks, I guess that's to be expected."

"Why didn't you study?"

"I was too busy trying to get you and James together," Sirius said. Lily blushed and wanted to kick him in the shin. Unfortunately, that would have made her a bit of a hypocrite, as she hadn't studied much for those exams either: she'd been too busy thinking about James.

"Time to go. Time to go," Lily's father announced, walking toward the pair of them and shooing them toward the door and the car outside. Lily smiled at her dad and placed a hand on Sirius's arm to turn him to the door. He seemed lost in his own thoughts.

"You sure--"

"Yes. I'm just thinking about Sputnik and you," Sirius lied, turning and following Mr. Evans to the door, which Sirius held open for Lily. She walked through. "Sputnik's really rather enamoured with you, you know. He's thinking of tattooing your name on his arm."

Lily laughed.

"You think I'm kidding?" Sirius asked. "You should have seen his O.W.L. exams. Had little hearts and L.E.s all over them." Lily blushed, thinking of her own scribbling hearts with J.P. in them.

"You just had a grand old time with this this year, didn't you?" Lily asked as Sirius opened the car door and helped her into the backseat.

"You better believe it. Forcing you two to sit next to each other in class, each one thinking I was torturing them, was hilarious." But even with his joking tone, Lily saw a real and honest pain in Sirius Black at that moment. A real anger. What was it from?

"I taped your F.A.D. note onto my wall," Lily said.

"I'm still upset about not receiving one from you," Sirius said.

"Yeah, well, get in line behind Will McGrath," Lily muttered.

"Did you tape Remus's note up?" Sirius slid in next to her while Mrs. Evans and Petunia climbed in.

"His note was rather lame," Lily admitted.

"That's because that fool had hardly ever spoken to you when he wrote that silly thing. Yet, somehow, he received one of your coveted notes while I was overlooked."

"I taped the secret admirer's note to my wall," Lily said, deciding talking about James was a good plan of action.

"That's my girl," Sirius announced, smiling. Lily definitely noticed her father glancing at the pair of them as he backed out of the driveway.

~*~*~

Standing at the back of the church, hearing the organ music begin and hearing all of the guests hurry to sit and pull cameras out of their purses, Lily looked at her sister, Petunia Novaria Evans. She looked at Petunia - who was truly too thin, too mean, too biting, and too everything that Lily once thought she hated - and Lily saw how beautiful her sister was on this her wedding day.

"Petunia, I--" Lily began, no longer caring about the green dress that was too tight in all the wrong places, but the words stopped in her throat. Lily found that she did not have the words to bridge the gulf between them.

"Yes?" Petunia asked.

"Still nervous?" What a stupid question to ask as the music was playing and the flower girls were already marching down the aisle.

"No," Petunia said primly, though sincerely. "I'm very happy and proud to be marrying Vernon."

"He's a good man," Lily said. "He seems to care for you a great deal."

"He does," Petunia said, smiling a wide smile. The brides's men and women began to walk down the aisle.

"You look beautiful, Petunia."

For the first time, Petunia turned to look at Lily in shock. Then she nodded and looked back at the doorway that led to her future.

"You and I are very different people, Lily," Petunia whispered. "You were always meant for... freakish things. When we were little you wanted to travel all over the world in a boat. Instead, you went to that--that school--and you found your strange happy ending."

"When we were little, all you wanted was a white picket fence and a clean kitchen," Lily answered, ignoring her sister's little barbs. It had always been one of the things that drove the two sisters insane: they couldn't understand how the other sister wanted to live her life. Lily always thought Petunia wanted to settle for boring, and Petunia always thought Lily was reaching beyond her scope.

Lily and her male counterpart began walking down the aisle.

"This is my happy ending," Petunia whispered as Mr. Evans walked up and looped his arm through Petunia's. Lily smiled for her sister. Yes, this was exactly what Petunia had always wanted: a white dress, a full church, a dignified husband, and a comfortable marriage.

~*~*~

The ceremony was long and Lily had to admit that she spent more time wondering what was bothering Sirius, who sat in the front row beside her parents, than she did listening to the wedding. But Lily did watch her sister say 'I do' and kiss her husband--her husband. Lily still had difficulty thinking that her sister was getting married, let alone already married, but she clapped like everyone else.

~*~*~

Even dancing in Sirius's arms at the reception in her magically modified dress (Lily just made it shorter and removed the sleeves), Lily found that Sirius Black was noticeably distant, keeping himself from completely opening up to her even as he twirled her around that dance floor like an old pro. He didn't trust her, she realized, and that was okay, because he didn't trust anyone except three seventeen-year-old boys who must have done something extraordinarily right to gain his confidence.

"You certainly charmed the family," Lily said.

"What? Oh. Neat."

Lily looked over Sirius's back and said, "Although my grandmother thinks you're a tad too uptight."

"Who's you grandmother?" Sirius asked. Lily turned him so that he could see her grandmother and grandfather waltzing in the corner of the room. "Would she prefer if I blew something up?"

"My grandmother might actually like that," Lily admitted, "but my sister would carve you like pumpkin with a dull knife."

"Not exactly a pleasant experience."

"No," Lily agreed, nodding.

There was a pause before Sirius said, "Thanks for inviting me."

Lily smiled. "Thanks for coming, Sirius. You're a good friend."

And he was. It was comfortable dancing with Sirius, twirling with him, letting him lead her through the steps to elaborate dances he pretended not to know. He never stepped on her feet, never came too close or went too far. But still, the hand on her back didn't send tingles through her as James's touched did. Oh frick. She should not have been thinking that.

Yet she already was.

"What is it you wish for right now more than anything?" Sirius asked as Lily leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I wish you were James Polyjuiced," she replied, sort of laughing at her own stupidity. "How about you?"

"I want to get out of here. You want to get out of here?" Sirius asked. Lily laughed, but stopped when she saw that he was looking at her quite earnestly.

"Are you joking? You want to leave?"

"No, I'm not joking. Let's leave," he said. They stopped dancing.

"That's crazy. This is my sister's wedding reception. Where would we go?"

"I have to go talk to an old friend," Sirius said. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Is this just a ploy to force James and--"

"No, no, this is about Gertrude," Sirius said. Lily looked at him, standing there in front of her dancing relatives and her sister's new in-laws.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"Nothing. Never mind." He moved to start dancing again, but Lily grabbed his arm and dragged him to a table away from the dance floor.

"Sirius, what is going on with you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius said, looking at the door.

"I can't--I can't just leave my sister's reception," Lily said. "But, you can leave if you need to."

"Right," Sirius scoffed.

"Sirius, honestly, if you need to do something right now, I don't mind if you leave early," Lily said, grabbing Sirius's chin and forcing him to meet her eye.

"I'm not going to run away from my obligation--"

"You have no obligation to me except friendship and that goes two ways. You can leave if you have to," Lily said. Sirius spent a good long time looking at Lily.

"Come with me to Gertrude's," Sirius said. "Please? I need someone there."

Lily looked down at his hand and then back over the room, spotting her sister dancing in the middle of the room with Vernon as her mother and father laughed by the cake in the opposite corner. She looked over her extended family who twirled on that dance floor, blissfully ignorant of the fact that the last time Lily was near a dance floor she attacked by sociopaths, blissfully ignorant of the fact that when Lily went back to school in September she was facing a war-torn world of floating daggers and poisoned vials.

"All right," Lily said, looking up at her friend. "Let's go."

~*~*~

Gertrude's home was not exactly what Lily had expected. In fact, it was little more than a townhouse in London. Stepping out of the taxi was a definitely disappointment. Sirius didn't notice as he walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. A house-elf opened the door, greeted them, and asked Lily what their business was. Sirius answered and when the house-elf saw Sirius, Lily swore the already-too-big eyes widened.

After Sirius and Lily stepped into the foyer, Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a business card. He gave it to the elf who disappeared with a pop.

"So, this is Gertrude's home?" Lily asked.

"This is where they receive visitors from England," Sirius corrected her, staring at the wall, his jaw still clenched. Lily didn't say a word as she looked around and found herself wishing the Wrightman family liked windows more. She felt like she was in a coffin.

"I didn't believe it when I saw the card, but here you are," said a new voice.

Lily looked over to see who had spoken and found herself facing possibly the most gorgeous woman she'd ever seen in her life. Mid-height with black hair and silver-blue eyes, the woman was stunningly beautiful, actually, and looking at Sirius with a smirk that seemed oddly familiar.

"Yes, here I am."

"And in that special outfit, no less," the woman said, looking Sirius up and down with distaste on her face. Lily was a little creeped out by this woman. Okay. A lot creeped out. Her making fun of Sirius's Muggle outfit was not winning the woman any friendship points either.

"May I ask where Miss Wrightman is?" Sirius asked in his 'formal voice.'

"Gertrude will be along shortly. Her mother needed her help preparing a letter and I offered to escort the guests. Of course, Mrs. Wrightman would never have allowed such a breach in etiquette, but as we're family, I insisted," the woman said, turning her eyes on Lily. "I don't believe I know her, Sirius."

"No, you don't, Bellatrix" Sirius said. Lily opened her mouth to offer her name when Sirius glanced at her and gave a sharp shake of his head. She closed her mouth.

"Follow me, please," the woman - whose name was apparently Bellatrix-instructed as she began to walk into the room to their left. "I suppose you received a letter from your mother today, Sirius. Did Aunt Livia have anything interesting to say?"

"Nothing as interesting as Cousin Andromeda's news," Sirius replied.

The group stopped and Lily felt like she wasn't hearing what they were really saying. Lily, however, was glad to be wearing her formal, expensive bride's maid dress. Otherwise she would have truly felt out of place when she felt a tug behind her naval from a Portkey activating and found herself standing in one of the largest sitting rooms Lily had ever seen.

"Do you and Andromeda write frequently?" Bellatrix asked, walking again. From the way Sirius didn't even glance at the woman, whom Lily supposed was his cousin, she figured he was fairly familiar with this house, mansion, freaking gigantic place.

"Not often," Sirius said, "but we do write one another with important news."

"Like when you were Sorted?" Bellatrix asked sweetly, turning left. Lily had to jog to keep up with the pair of them.

"Yes," Sirius agreed with his fake happy voice that made Lily wish to hear nails on a chalkboard. "Mostly only important events, like Sunday, when--oh. I suppose Cousin Andromeda wouldn't want you to find out from me, would she? But I'm sure she'll write you with the news, won't she, Bellatrix?"

"I'm sure I'll find out about it."

Gertrude and a woman who could have been no one other than Mrs. Wrightman entered the study where Bellatrix had led them, and Lily wasn't sure if she was glad or not. Yes, she was happy that Sirius and his cousin seem to have stopped sniping at each other in their snooty way, but Mrs. Wrightman perturbed Lily on sight. Lily assumed the woman was Mrs. Wrightman not because she and Gertrude looked alike - they didn't really, except for the light blue eyes - but because she walked with the same amount of grace, poise, and perfect posture as Gertrude. Lily was grateful for her outfit once again.

"Hello, Mr. Black," Mrs. Wrightman said.

"He is no longer recognized by the name," Bellatrix said calmly. Mrs. Wrightman raised an eyebrow that would have made Lily run screaming from the room if it had been directed at her. In fact, it almost did anyway. Why was Lily even there? Why? Sirius could have definitely done this by himself while Lily was at the reception eating chocolate wedding cake.

"Yet he is still recognized as a guest of the Wrightman family," Mrs. Wrightman replied. "As such, he deserves some respect."

Lily held back the urge to stick her tongue out at Bellatrix. In the meantime, Sirius was busy fulfilling his socially obligatory introductions.

"Mrs. Wrightman, this is--"

"I'm Lily Evans. Gertrude Wrightman, right?" Lily interrupted, trying to pretend like Gertrude might not have known. "I'm a prefect, too."

Sirius smirked, looking at Lily, and then glanced at Gertrude. Lily wondered if she'd just made a horrible, socially unacceptable mistake. She was starting to regret speaking when she realized that was idiotic. What did she care what these people thought about her? She certainly didn't want to keep their company much longer than necessary.

"Evans?" Mrs. Wrightman asked, looking at Lily with distaste.

"Yes," Lily said, deciding to have some fun. "It's a very common name, like Smith or Jones. There are a thousand of us, all Muggle, of course."

Looking like she had just swallowed one of Sirius and James's charmed Chocolate Frog, Mrs. Wrightman told Gertrude that she and Bellatrix had to discuss something or other (Lily was sure it was an excuse to get the hell out of the 'Mudblood Room'), leaving the three of them staring awkwardly at one another.

"So, this has been really fun," Lily said dryly.

"What are you doing here, Sirius?" Gertrude asked, staring at him. "You know you shouldn't--"

"I received a letter from my mother today," Sirius said.

"And then you left it open on your bed at the Potters," Gertrude added. Sirius looked questioningly at her. "James Potter has been waiting in the kitchen for over an hour for you to arrive."

"James is here?" both Sirius and Lily asked together. Gertrude nodded.

"Do you want me to go and fetch him?" Gertrude asked snidely. It was probably the first time Lily had ever heard Gertrude make an almost-joke. Lily was a little proud of Gertrude for the effort.

"That would be divine," Sirius said condescendingly. He had been in a bad mood this morning and after that wonderful discourse with his cousin, Sirius seemed ready to blow something up. Soon.

"This was not my choice, Sirius," Gertrude said as she turned to leave, "nor was it much of a surprise considering current trends."

Gertrude left then and Sirius turned to Lily.

"Listen, when Gertrude comes back, we're probably going to leave to talk in private--"

"What, and leave me here with James?" Lily asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "This was a set up."

"No, it wasn't."

"Then why did you bring me here at all? To feel intimidated by this home and these uptight people that you seem so familiar with? Was this to show me just how much I don't belong?"

"Lily, don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid," Lily snapped, "and I am freaking intimidated, but you know what, Sirius? I don't like these people and I don't want them in my life. I have no desire to impress them. None. I just want to throw small objects at them."

"Yeah, I get that. That's exactly why I asked you to come," Sirius said, "to remind me that this doesn't--this doesn't have to be my beginning and end."

"Oh," Lily said, confused and annoyed. What did that mean? "No, wait, what the eff does that mean?"

"You, just standing next to me, remind me that there are amazing people like you and James in the world, people who don't care about social protocol and hereditary obligation, people who would tell Mrs. Wrightman that they're from a common family just to annoy her. I needed to know that there were different people in the world."

"And I just exude difference?" Lily asked.

"Gertrude told me what you did for Mrs. Crouch," Sirius said, as if that were any sort of answer.

"What?" Subject switch much?

"And she told me about the Ball and about your injuries--"

"Do you two ever discuss anything that doesn't involve me?" Lily asked.

"Lily, I'm so--fuck, I'm sorry."

"What? Why? Are you a Death Eater? Did you curse me?" Lily asked sarcastically, strongly reminded of Christian apologizing crazily like he was the Dark Lord himself.

"I knew about the Ball," Sirius said, glancing at the door through which Gertrude had exited and ignoring Lily's snarky comment. "I heard my parents talking about it on New Year's Eve, saying that this would be one Ministry Ball that would make headlines for very different reasons. They'd been warned not to go, and I didn't tell anyone. If I'd told someone instead of just screaming at them and running--I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Lily choked out, trying to ignore the pang of betrayal she felt by reminding herself that this was Sirius and that he would never have intentionally hurt her. "You've already made me the world's largest I'm sorry bouquet. That covers our arguments for the next twenty years."

"Lily, you and I can joke about anything. We have joked about anything," Sirius said, "but this guy, this Voldemort, he's an evil son of a bitch. Evil. Not crazy. He's tearing my fucking family apart. You saw Bellatrix. I want to kill him. I'm going to."

"Kill him with kindness," Lily muttered mockingly. Sirius looked at her. "My mother used to say that to me when I was dealing with a bully: kill them with kindness, love them so much that they--"

"Lily--"

"Or you could pelt him to death with chocolate frogs--"

"Lily, I'm not joking. I'm going to--"

"Don't say it. Don't you dare finish that sentence, Sirius Black," Lily said, suddenly angry and afraid.

"I will, Lily. I'm powerful, nearly top of our year. I'll destroy him."

"Shut up, Sirius," Lily snapped. "Shut up. You're seventeen years old and little good to anyone if you're dead."

"I won't die. I'll beat him," Sirius said vehemently. Lily resisted the urge to cry just as she managed to keep herself from slapping Sirius.

"So what? Are you going to go attack some Death Eaters-- the Death Eaters that even the Aurors can't defeat? Are you going to face down a sociopath and win because you want it more than anyone else? No. You're not and I'm not.

"Don't you think I wanted to kill that bastard? To rip him apart? I think of the Ball and the people who were hurt, standing in a crowd of terrified men and women, their last moments full of fear and regret. I want to kill him too, Sirius."

"Then--" Sirius tried to interrupt.

"No," Lily said. "Be quiet. You're the rashest person I know. You'd duel him if you had the chance, because you never think anything through," Lily said. "So you have to promise me right now that you'll never go looking for him, never seek him out, no matter what."

"That's the stupidest thing--"

"You rush into everything, you rushed into coming here without thinking. Promise me you won't--"

"I can't promise you--"

"He killed the Prewetts, Sirius," Lily said slowly, looking up into her friend's eyes. "He killed Auror Prewett and his wife. He killed the Auror Director. The Ministry kept it quiet, but it happened. Promise me you won't go looking for trouble."

"I see you've begun an interesting conversation in my absence," Gertrude said, walking back into the room, James in tow. Lily's eyes locked on him and could not leave his face. He was so cute. Handsome. Good looking. Gorgeous. He was what she needed to focus on as she worked to push the memories of the Ball out of her mind. She needed something solid on which to focus, something good, something she could trust in as she tried to forget the anger was coursing through her veins.

James staring at her as he entering the room wasn't exactly making it an easier to breathe, but it was making it easier to forget unpleasant memories.

It didn't occur to her until much later that she had never really secured Sirius's promise.

"Lily?" James asked, staring at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently offering moral support to anyone who asks," Lily said, forcing herself to use joking tones. "You?"

"Waiting to offer moral support to someone who never asks," James replied, shrugging and grinning at her. It was so easy, looking at him, to feel her anger and desperation and fear all slip away. It was so easy to look at James and feel like all of her problems could disappear. When had he begun to inspire such feelings in her?

"What a coincidence," Lily mused, tilting her head to the side and glancing at Gertrude and Sirius, who were looking at each other.

"Do they want some privacy?" Lily asked James, knowing Gertrude and Sirius could hear them.

"Yes, but do you really want to wander around this estate alone?"

"This estate?" Lily asked, shuddering. "No. There are probably booby traps for Muggle-borns everywhere."

"True," James said, staring at Sirius. Even in profile, by the way, Lily was attracted to him.

"Sirius, would you like to speak in private?" Gertrude asked, looking at Lily as if for approval. Lily nodded, glancing around the room for a comfortable place to sit. Deciding the couch was too far away and that nothing would bother Mrs. Wrightman more than finding Lily lying on her carpet, Lily sat down on the ground. James followed suit.

Gertrude looked at them, shocked and vaguely uncomfortable, but couldn't seem to find the words to voice her disapproval before Sirius placed a hand on her lower back and pushed her out of the room.

"You think she's going to explode thinking about us sitting on the ground?" Lily asked, taking off her shoes and running her toes through the carpet.

"Possibly," James said. "Does that thought bother you enough that you want to move?"

"Well, I don't want Gertrude to explode, but if her mother did, I wouldn't say I'd mind," Lily noted. "I don't think I've ever met anyone I disliked faster and for less apparent reasons than Mrs. Wrightman."

"Obviously you haven't met anyone from Sirius's family," James said.

"Oh, you're right! I hated Sirius's cousin Bellatrix on sight too," Lily agreed.

"When did you meet her?"

"She was here, showed us in," Lily said, tilting her head at him. "You've been here an hour and didn't notice her?"

"The estate is larger than you could imagine," James said. "Gertrude sent the house-elves to lead me to a smaller room to wait for you and Sirius to stop your chat."

"Really?" Lily asked. "That seems unnecessarily complicated and very much like Gertrude."

"Oh yes, she and Sirius would have truly been a meeting of the Titans," James said. "Their house-elves would have been very busy."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Didn't he tell you why he was here?" James asked.

"Bellatrix mentioned something about a letter from his mother that wasn't elaborated on."

"Oh."

"What?" Lily asked.

"Nothing."

"James, don't 'nothing' me," Lily said. "He dragged me here out of my sister's wedding reception. I'm sure he'll tell me eventually."

"It's not my place--"

"I could just start guessing."

"No, listen, it wasn't anything too monumental," James said, not really seeming to have heard her threat. "He got a letter from his mum this morning, telling him his arranged marriage with Gertrude's officially cancelled. He'd been expecting it for a while, but--"

"Arrange marriage?" Lily exclaimed, turning to stare at James. Good thing they were lying down already or Lily might have fallen over from shock.

"You didn't know?" James asked.

"How would I have known that?" Lily asked. "Sirius doesn't trust me enough to share something like that and Gertrude would never bring that up. Ever."

"I just assumed--"

"Did they ever date?"

"That isn't how arranged marriages work," James answered, looking guilty for having told her.

"Don't worry," Lily said. "I won't tell anyone I know about it."

"I know. That wasn't why I was concerned. It just wasn't my place."

"I understand," Lily said, trying to process all of this information. "Did they ever like each other?"

"No. They became friends because of the amount of time they spent together. Or at least, they became companions, but after the Sorting things sort of changed. And with New Year's--"

"It was no longer proper for them to see each other," Lily finished, remembering Gertrude's words that night so many moths before. And then she remembered Sirius's almost sad face. "If he knew it was coming, why he's so out of it?"

"Livia, his mother, had some other wonderful things to write," James said, grimacing. Lily rolled onto her back and stared at that ceiling which seemed so very, very far away. Gertrude and Sirius? The idea seemed too absurd to--but then it made a sort of sense, too, didn't it? Thinking about the two of them together, Lily started to snicker.

"What are you laughing at?" James asked.

"The first years had no idea," Lily said. "They thought I was the big competition, but it was really Gertrude. No wonder his mother was furious about a supposed engagement, though any mother would have been upset by a normal engagement at sixteen."

"And, trust me, Livia's no normal mother," James muttered.

"You know her well enough to address her by her Christian name?" Lily asked, smiling as she still tried to process all of this information.

"I know her well enough to call her a freaking bitch, but I'm trying to be polite around you," James said, rolling to look at the door. Lily did too, wondering where Sirius and Gertrude could have been.

"Can you imagine if they lived here together?" Lily asked suddenly. "And their children! Their children would have been insane."

"Their children would have been practical magical royalty if these two houses had united, like his cousin Narcissa who married into the Malfoy line last year."

"What's that mean?"

"Just that their children will be impressively well connected... and the spawn of evil," James said, smiling. "But the parties Gertrude and Sirius might have had... Maybe we ought to suggest that Sirius reunite with his family."

"But why did Sirius's mother write to inform him?" Lily asked. "Wouldn't it have been Mrs. Wrightman that called it off?"

"No, they both did. Livia had the crazy thought that she could arrange for Gertrude to marry her younger son Regulus and preserve the connection," James said, scoffing.

"Why's that such a crazy idea?"

"Because Gertrude would never marry beneath her."

"And Sirius is on her level but his younger brother isn't?" Lily asked, confused.

"Exactly. Sirius was the eldest son, the heir. Regulus was the spare that just happened to have to step up to the plate." The two lay there a moment more, considering that information. Lily looked over at the grand piano in the corner of the room and barely refrained from laughing. Of course the Wrightmans had a grand piano. Of course. They probably also had a crystal chess set.

That thought reminded Lily of her conversation with Gertrude about chess, the one that had evolved into a conversation about James.

"You know, Gertrude approved of us dating," Lily said, remembering. "I guess that means she thought we were equal enough to date."

"Maybe it's not that we're equal or not but that we both keep looking at the stars," James said.

"Everybody looks at the stars, James."

"Not like us. Not like you. We'd fly to the moon, if it were possible, and keep going until we reached every constellation you could name," James said.

Lily lay back down with a smile. "Or we'd blow up a small country with the right ingredients."

"Yes, or a large one with the wrong ingredients," he said, smiling too. "Oh the wonders of Arithmancy."

Lily rolled on her side to face James, pillowing her arm under her head. "Why are you here again?"

"The moral support thing."

"Right." Lily rolled onto her back.

"Why are you dressed like an asparagus wrap?" James asked, glancing down at her dress. Lily laughed.

"Note one: never compare a girl to an appetizer."

"Duly noted," James said. "Why do you look like an asparagus wrap?"

"This is my bride's maid dress," Lily replied. "My sister Petunia loved it and as it was her wedding and she was the one that ultimately needed to be happy, I wore anything and everything she wanted me to."

"Nice." And a few more minutes passed as the clock struck the hour with all of the ridiculous pomp that Lily would have expected from a clock in this house, swinging gold pendulums and all.

"You make Head Girl?" James asked.

"Yes," Lily said, somehow not surprised that he'd guessed. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering if she'd been right, too, in her guess. "You make Head Boy?"

"Yes," he replied in the same tone. Lily wasn't shocked. She had assumed he would be Head Boy. She remembered talking with Gertrude, earlier that year, about Hogwarts already having a leader, about how the younger years looked up to James and the older years loved him. Hell, everyone seemed to love him.

Yes, making James Potter Head Boy seemed right. It was her own appointment that Lily was worried about.

The students didn't love her. She didn't know how to make them love her either. She had some respect from the younger years who only knew of her because of the rumours that had grown around her this year: rumours regarding the Ball and F.A.D. and Sirius Black. The prefects already looked on her with scorn, annoyed with her lack of attention in the meetings. How was she supposed to convince them all that she was a good leader?

Okay, Lily needed to stop thinking about this. Needed to focus on something completely different.

"You know," Lily said, standing up and looking around the room, "this is exactly what I don't want in a home."

"What?" James asked, sitting and then standing too. "Huge, pointless rooms?"

"No, that would be fine if they were alive," Lily said, looking around. "I don't want pastel and clean and museum-esque. I want a big, comfy, ugly orange couch or something equally hideous. I want to be different."

"I don't think anyone would ever dare call you normal."

"Oh, James, you sure know your way into a girl's heart," Lily muttered.

"Mock me all you want, Asparagus Girl, but I know that under that ugly green dress is a girl just waiting for September 1^st and all that it implies," James said.

"Oh really?" Lily asked, smirking as she turned to him. "And just what does that imply, if I may ask?"

"It implies that I'll be stalking you every single step you take, especially now that I'm Head Boy and we get to run meetings together--"

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that," Lily said happily, as she backed away from him smiling. "We can cancel meetings when we think they're pointless!"

"Or we could call pointless ones for no reason except to bother the younger years."

"This is going to be so much fun!" Lily said. "And to think I wanted to give Gertrude the job."

"You what?"

"Don't even worry about it," Lily said, waving a hand at James which he grabbed.

"You get to patrol with me again," he said with a smirk, pulling her close to him.

"I believe that means you get to patrol with me. Ready to lose some sickles?"

"Only if it involves tackling Filch or kissing you," James said, then winced as Lily gave him a daring look and a barely-hidden grin. "Right, so that sounded like I just called you a prostitute, but if I super promise I didn't mean it like that will you pretend that I didn't say it?"

"Sure, I could forget that, though comparing kissing me to smothering Filch's body with your own still holds its own sickening implications." He laughed and the sound of it made Lily tingle all over. How was it possible to be so happy to be able to simply talk to James?

She looked at him, still loving the feeling of his right hand holding her left behind her back, and said, "I received your letter."

He looked back at her, smile fading from his face. "Did you now? I wondered."

"It--um--" Lily looked at her feet and then back at him. "Thank you."

"I just wanted to let you know that I knew--"

"I understand," Lily said, smiling at him, smiling at James, smiling at the bloke she thought she had fallen for at fifteen, the bloke she fell for again at seventeen in deserted corridors.

"I'm glad," James said.

A tiny, greenish house-elf popped into the room in between Lily and James, effectively terrifying them and stopping the conversation as they jumped apart.

"Mistress says that Miss Lily is to be leaving and Mister Potter is to be seeing to Mister Black," said the elf

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, annoyed that she was being dismissed. Sirius had brought her here!

"I need to talk to him," James said, looking at Lily.

"Sure, but do you need to be summoned to talk to him by a house elf? He couldn't have come out and faced me himself to say I had to leave?" Lily asked. James smiled at her, leaned over the house elf, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, sending tingles through her body.

"You need to get back to your sister's wedding reception anyway," James said, leaning back. Lily couldn't keep the stupid grin off her face no matter how hard she tried. One simple kiss on the cheek and she was as mindless as a house elf.

"I suppose I do," Lily said.

"I'll see you September 1^st, when we lead the school into ruin."

"Dumbledore won't know what hit him until our maniacal laughter reaches his office," Lily said, smiling. "See you then, James."

And so she turned to face the house-elf and James turned to go to Sirius, neither really wanting to leave the other, neither really wanting to go back to the real world where their real life issues took precedence, where magic happened in secret, where they had an upset best friend and a sister married to normalcy.