A Time Before Tears

CHAPTER TWO

"Think you have enough books there? Don't you want to get some more, you know, test the strength of these old tables?" Remus Lupin stood up in order to be able to see Hermione over her mounds of books. Hermione laughed softly, momentarily forgetting herself, but then it hit her that this was the boy would some day be the man with lines covering his face and kindness that was unparalleled but he was not a man that could make anyone laugh. She stopped laughing. She wondered what happened to him before instantly reminding herself. Voldemort happened to him.

Remus Lupin as a boy was someone completely different than the man that she had met. This Remus made her laugh and smile. This Remus hadn't had to cope losing his three best friends or living a life rejected by society. He wasn't exactly a carefree boy, but at this point he was still gracious and thankful for having been able to get into Hogwarts.

"What's it like at your old school?" he asked her, seeing that she had finished with the book she'd been reading and she hadn't yet opened another.

Hermione thought about that question as she stared into his soft brown eyes. She thought about her Hogwarts, the one from her own time that included the people she had grown to love. She thought about Dumbledore's age lines and his composed manner the night after the Third Task. She thought about the people that had risked their lives to fight against Voldemort and continued to do so. She thought about Sirius and Professor Lupin and Mundungus Fletcher and every one of the people that held Harry so close to their hearts. She thought about what Lily and James must have meant to these people for them to risk so much for their son. She thought about Harry and his determination to protect all the people around him. Then her thoughts went out to Minister Fudge and his denial.

"Some people are older than they should be and not all agree that there's a threat to fight."

Remus didn't say anything in response. He merely nodded, as if understanding that some people could be stupid and went back to his books. Hermione had finished with all the books she thought she could get through during the night and all she really wanted to do at this point was interrogate the people. If she couldn't get recent history from books, she'd get it through people. She waited patiently and finished all of her homework with Remus.

When he finished and they began their journey back to the common room she began to prod a little, making sure she didn't include any questions that might give away the fact that she knew more than she should have, like where on earth Sirius was. He hadn't shown up to any of the classes all day, and if she knew anything about the Marauders, it was that they were very rarely apart from each other. Instead she stuck with the topic of conversation from the library- Voldemort and his affects.

"How bad is the problem with You-Know-Who?" she asked bluntly. He blinked at her question and she assumed it was because people rarely talked about recent history. She never considered that he was wondering about the title "you-know-who." It took him only a few moments to answer.

"It's bad." Remus suddenly looked much older than she would have guessed a sixteen year old could. But that wasn't true. She had seen Harry look this old. She just never considered that Remus and Harry shared something that deep. "You'll see soon enough I suppose, but things aren't as bad as they could be. The old families here in England are still protected. The Prewetts and the Rosewoods and Bones are still strong. Voldemort doesn't dare to attack them."

She couldn't help but hear the hope in his voice as he spoke of them and cringe. She remembered those names. They were on the list of causalities. Entire families were destroyed, eventually to be forgotten, somewhere in the mix of evil.

Hermione was still struggling within herself. What could she do for these people? Could she tell them all? Would they listen to a stranger?

~*~*~

Hermione had nearly walked into the wrong dormitory. She had had her hand on the fifth year girl's dorm room when Valerie had told her that wasn't the right door. She had given her a weird look but excused the mistake as something that a person would do after they'd only been sleeping in a room for one night.

Hermione had looked at her bed and found a sleeping gown and a robe lying neatly on the top. When she realized that a house elf must've done it, she cringed but was thankful nonetheless. Maybe she could start S.P.E.W. in this time... No. She couldn't change anything. She couldn't add anything to this timeline that hadn't been here before. She had to be careful about everything she said. Every look she gave people had to give nothing away. Time was too delicate to withstand an assault by Hermione Granger. And she knew if she started changing the small things, she wouldn't stop there. She would try and find a way to save the girl sleeping in the bed next to her own, Lily Evans, and she couldn't do that.

Just as Hermione was almost asleep she heard a creaking from the bed next to hers. With her eyes barely open she looked to see a shape moving in the dark. As soon as it had left the room, Hermione followed it on her crutches. She moved quietly and quickly, grabbing the door before it shut fully.

She didn't understand her compulsion to follow the other girl because she normally would never have done something like that, but Hermione was still trying to atone from what had happened in the Triwizard Tournament. She knew it was irrational, but she somewhat blamed herself for what happened. She couldn't help but feel if she had just checked up on Moody a little more, watched who he interacted with... Anyway she was now determined to know every possible detail she could about every situation she was in. She learned her teacher's habits. She learned to question motives and find the answers faster. It was like with Rita Skeeter. Hermione would catch the bugs quicker next time.

So she watched the figure as it descended the stairs. Hermione followed a little after. She opened the door to the common room just enough to see the figure. It was a difficult task because she had to do it with crutches, but she managed well enough.

The girl was Lily, Hermione realized as she saw the flames light up the red hair. She was walking with a little bounce in her step and Hermione soon saw why. There was a boy standing in front of the fire and when he turned around Hermione felt a wave of homesickness as she mistakenly took father for son. But James Potter had an easier smile and when he turned around and saw Lily it got even bigger. He held out his hand to her and with she took it he pulled her forward.

Hermione shot back behind the door and out of sight. She was terribly embarrassed to have been spying on something so obviously private. Her homesickness lingered as she was forced to think of Harry and with him came an image of Ron almost immediately and Hermione's stomach sunk.

She wanted so much to be back with them, or for them to be here with her because she realized they would know what to do. Or maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they would take risks that weren't necessary, let their emotions allow them to change everything that Hermione knew she wasn't meant to change. But still she wished they were here, if for no other reason than to comfort her. And Harry should have had the chance to see how in love his parents had been.

As she traveled back up the stairs she resolved to fix at least one problem. The next day she would ask Dumbledore for a favor. She needed a camera.

~*~*~

Before she could request that camera though, Hermione had some other hurtles to get over. Breakfast was a big one.

Sirius came back the next day and Hermione was introduced to him. The now familiar feeling of anguish swept across her when she saw him, it happened every time she saw someone she knew. They looked so much better, so much healthier, so much happier in this world and universe that she sometimes couldn't even bring herself to look into their eyes. She couldn't even glance at Sirius.

Sirius was a slim boy with sharp eyes and a suspicious look, but he grinned constantly and made people laugh quickly when he thought things were getting uncomfortable. He made them laugh a lot when he met Hermione.

While she worked to keep her face controlled, Hermione was horrified to know that the boy with rosy cheeks and strong arms would some day become the wizarding world's most infamous prisoner. The only image of him she could recall clearly at that moment had been of the first time she'd seen him in the Shrieking Shack. He had been a shadow of a man and to know that this boy would someday become that made her physically ill.

She didn't see until later why his best friends would believe he was capable of killing, but that first impression of him was so different than the man that Harry had become close with that it was almost sickening. And his story, engraved upon Hermione's soul, was also frightening.

"And now that you've met the Marauders I think you should be warned to avoid them," Valerie said in front of Sirius. "When there are only three, like yesterday, they're bearable. Alone they're fantastic. Together I worry that they could destroy the world." Or maybe they could save it, Hermione thought.

"Hey now Val! You know we're perfect," Sirius grinned and the group headed to the Great Hall. Hermione, as was becoming tradition, stayed somewhere near the back of the large group, with Remus at her side. He tried to sustain a conversation and include the rest of the group, but it was pretty obvious that with Sirius back, things were different. While each Remus and Peter had their own sense of humor, they seemed to use James and Sirius as the leaders and bounce their humor off the two boys as they went along.

"I bet it's hard having such big personalities as best friends," Hermione said. She was carrying her own bag and attempting to walk without her crutches for the first time. She wasn't used to hanging out in such a large group. Her, Harry, and Ron had never had much time or space for other people and now that she was thrown in a group with four boys and three other girls she was almost completely lost. She needed one constant and found it in Remus.

"They're the best friends a person could ever ask for," replied Remus and it caused Hermione pause. She looked sideways at the boy that was so patiently matching her pace and wondered how anyone could think he was the betrayer. He loved these friends and appreciated them more than words could tell. Or maybe her opinion was bias.

During breakfast everything happened almost exactly like it had the day before. Hermione avoided looking around. Choosing to only see her food and occasionally the faces of the people closest to her, Valerie and Noelle. That had been easy.

Towards the end of the meal she got up to go and talk with the Headmaster about the camera. Being unsteady on her feet, she almost fell to the ground. Instead she knocked into someone else and stayed up by pushing off the boy; he didn't seem too pleased about the contact. She turned to apologize, but he got his say in first.

"Don't touch me again. Ever," he hissed menacingly in her ear. He looked at her carefully, this boy with black hair and dark eyes. And with a sudden sickening certainty she knew who he was. She knew those eyes and that hair. He could never be anyone else. And her entire body almost crumpled to the floor but she managed to remain standing. Staring straight into his dark eyes.

"Mudblood," he concluded, and walked away before the shouts from the table could stop him. Every student within hearing range, which wasn't many, had gasped and some had even made a move to hurt the boy. Sirius had been fastest to react to the threat and had nearly jumped over the table when James caught his arm.

"Not here," James had said, glaring hard and long at the back of the boy leaving.

"We'll get him later." Peter nodded and joined James in glaring at the back of the boy.

"I can't believe he said that," a first year was saying, looking terrified. Lily slid over and put an arm around her and started to talk to her in a low voice. Remus was asking if Hermione was all right as she reseated herself. Hermione nodded and breathed in all of their worry and suddenly her homesickness wasn't as prominent. Valerie, who had been talking to someone, was asking what had happened.

"Snape," James replied. And as seemed to be tradition in this time, Hermione's head rocked, hearing her own guess confirmed.

"Severus Snape," Hermione said, half to herself. Her voice held something like awe and they all looked at her funnily.

"You know him?" Sirius asked.

"Of him," Hermione said while mentally hitting herself. She had slipped up. Badly. "A Slytherin in the hospital wing was talking about him while I was there."

The group nodded as a whole and Hermione would have thought they believed her if Remus' eyes hadn't remained on hers a little longer than necessary. But all she could bring herself to think about that at the moment, the thing she couldn't get out of her head, was the good-looking face that had called her a Mudblood. The face the others called Snape. His eyes had been sharp, as they were in her time, but the way he carried himself was different. He wasn't guarding himself or secluding himself. He was open. And judging by the number of students around him, he was popular.

She remembered the story that Harry had told her of Snape's life. She remembered that he had willingly compromised his own life in order to become a spy. Why? Why had he done that? Every question that she had ever wondered about, every hole in every story she had ever heard, had the potential to be answered. There was something gratifying about that but also terribly frightening.

~*~*~

They began Tuesday with Herbology, shared with the Slytherins. It was classically not one of Hermione's favorite subjects but she had worked on preparing for the class extra hard the night before and was proud to find herself answering questions that the others couldn't. She even helped prepare the demonstration with the Professor.

These Slytherins were not nearly as hostile as they were in her own time. Some even paired together with Gryffindors of their own accord. And while Hermione seemed to still be wary of them and paired with Lily, Noelle and Valerie partnered separately with two Slytherins. Maybe it was because Voldemort hadn't been known as a Slytherin at this point. Maybe it was because the Slytherins didn't have Harry to hate. Maybe it was because the Gryffindors didn't have Draco to hate. Hermione would never know without firsthand accounts or books of recent history. Whatever the case, Hermione found the only problem lay between the Marauders and Snape and his closest friends. It reminded her, once again, of the similarities between Harry and James.

By the end of class Hermione was quite proud of herself as she prepared to head up to lunch with the people in her year. She had earned Gryffindor twenty points, which were promptly taken off as James and Sirius whom had been conversing with a particularly violent plant and convinced it to try and eat Snape.

With half of the class laughing and the other half trying not to, the professor stepped forward and demonstrated his expertise by subduing the plant in less than five seconds and issuing two detentions at the same time.

In all of the commotion after class Hermione had been somewhat left behind as she gathered up her books. She thought that she was the last person to leave until she heard two voices talking.

"Are you alright?" a feminine voice asked. Hermione realized that she recognized the voice but couldn't place it. She knew that it was one of the people she had just met but she wasn't sure who exactly.

"No thanks to your precious Potter." That voice was unmistakably Professor Snape's. Right down to the odd pronunciation of Potter that he had when yelling at Harry. And after hearing what he said, Hermione could guess who the other person was. But why would Lily Evans be hanging around with Snape?

"The plant thing was funny. Admit it."

"No."

"You're grinning."

"Shut up." There was a pause in conversation in which Hermione almost left during, but realized she couldn't. She didn't want them thinking she was spying on them or eavesdropping, but she knew that if she left now they would hear the door and blame her anyway. So she stayed and tried to piece together the puzzle.

"You shouldn't have said what you did this morning about Hermione. I don't think any of them are ready to forgive you for that anytime soon." Lily sounded sad, disappointed almost.

"Hermione's the brat that ran into me?" There was a slight pause in his conversation in which Hermione assumed Lily nodded.

"Why did you say it?" the girl asked.

"Who is she?"

"Hermione Granger. She's an exchange student from Beauxbaton." He snorted. "What?"

"Beauxbaton. Please," he said sarcastically and Hermione's heart jumped to her throat. If he knew anything... "There was something in her eyes. She knew me. She was going to say something to me. You better watch out for that one."

"You're a good friend Severus." Hermione, sensing the end of the conversation, hid quietly behind a plant in the corner of the greenhouse, wondering, all the way, about the conversation she had just overheard.

Harry's mother and Severus Snape were friends? Good friends? Then why was he so horrible to Harry? And if Snape really knew that she wasn't from Beauxbaton, what was going to become of her?

~*~*~

As the day wore on, the antics of the four boys just got bigger and stronger. By the time they reached Transfiguration at the end of the day Hermione worried that they would break something. She had only known three of the Marauders two days and Sirius, mere hours, but already she was in awe of each of them. Ignorant of the their destinies they took control in every situation.

"Miss Granger I presume?" a strict Scottish accent cut through Hermione's thoughts as she entered the room. "I am Professor McGonagall your Head of House. I should have..." and the rest of her words fell on deaf ears as Hermione looked into the face that was a replica of the woman that she had left, of the woman whose head had hit the floor so horribly, of the woman that had sent a pink spell directed at her.

Hermione couldn't stop the memories form playing in her head. She couldn't stop the room from spinning and she certainly couldn't stop herself from nearly crumpling to the ground.

"Are you alright?" the Professor asked catching her.

"She'll be fine professor it's her first day with out crutches," Lily replied smiling and helped Hermione back to her seat. Hermione, having adjusted in her seat, tried to ignore the odd pull in her chest. Professor McGonagall looked the exact same as she had when Hermione had last seen her in her own time. She even had the same glasses.

"Thanks," Hermione mumbled and began to look very interested in her books.

"You're welcome." Lily smiled and Hermione, looking around the room, saw that it wasn't just James who looked fondly on this shining redhead. He was the only one that Lily smiled back though. It made Hermione wish once again that Harry could have been there with her. She wished she had really asked for that camera.

"James seems to think highly of you," Hermione noted. She needed to understand what was going on there almost as much as she needed to ignore her desire to stare at the professor of Transfiguration. Hermione knew their fates would eventually lead them to marriage but were they already together? Were they best friends? Why hadn't Remus or Sirius ever mentioned her?

"I think highly of him as well." Lily smiled and turned her attention back to the professor that began talking. Hermione was reminded, once again, that this wasn't her time. These weren't people that she understood. They weren't her friends. She and her friends were not currently in love with anyone. Ron would have been at a loss for words if Hermione had said anything about him liking someone. Harry would have probably blushed and ignored the comment. Lily acknowledged Hermione's comment and responded.

Hermione really didn't know these new housemates. They weren't even alive in her time. At least Lily and James weren't, but the others had all died in their own ways as well. Remus, Sirius, and even Peter had died, and Hermione had never completely understood why before. She had never understood what would drive two best friends to have the strength to kill another man, as Remus and Sirius would have if Harry hadn't been there. She hadn't understood what would drive Sirius to hunt down another and try to kill him. She hadn't understood the anguish in his heart had been enough to console him in Azkaban. She hadn't understood the look in Professor Lupin's face when he talked about Harry's parents.

At that moment, in that room, Hermione thought she had a clue. After having spent Transfiguration and Herbology sitting next to Lily she saw something there, something that wasn't just her drive to do well, her kindness, or fun loving attitude. Lily had something inside her that made her glow and Hermione was seeing glimpses of it every now and again. It was something that reminded her of Harry.

Hermione had no way of knowing that she wouldn't be going home for a while or that she would learn to be friends with seven people that were complete strangers to her. She had had no way of knowing that every moment she spent with James and Lily she would see a little more of Harry there and understand the revenge in the hearts of two broken men and the fear in the other. She came to understand their feelings as she realized she had the same ones for Harry.

Yes, Hermione would grow to understand these people, but right then she hadn't even scraped the surface of the people she was sharing a dorm with. All she knew was that there was something about Lily that was different. There was a reason Harry knew so little about her. Hermione hadn't even begun to know the two people that fell in love and married and saved the lives of thousands and she already felt protective of them. Lily Evans and James Potter wound their lives around their friends and comforted everyone with their presence but Hermione had yet to understand why.

~*~*~

Hermione spent almost every free moment that first week in the library. She looked for every book even remotely near to anything relating to Time Travel. She studied diagrams and charts and complex books that discussed Time Turners. She learned everything she could and tried to see if there was a way to either reverse or undo the spell. When that search came up empty she began working her Arithmancy skills to the bone. She used the time and date of departure to limit the search. She even tried to look up every pink and blue spell that she could find in order to see the possible mixtures. Nothing seemed to be working.

With every page turned her heart sank a little more. There was no chance for her to get back using her own (or anyone else's) powers. The closest she could come to reading anything that gave her hope was a theory by the acclaimed Arithmancist Jonathon Ansdel. His theory, simplified, was that the reason Time Travel wouldn't be an effective tool for the ministry to use was because it had an "elastic effect".

He said that Time was self-correcting. If a person was put into the past, they would have no control over their return. Eventually the "elastic effect" would bring the person back to their original time but it could be minutes after the person for arrived in the past or years. It was the only theory that said she would get back, but that was enough to give her some hope. It was, of course, just a theory. No one had ever had a recorded Time Traveling experience that was anything more than ten hours (the maximum time on the Time Turner). Or if they had, they hadn't bothered writing about it.

With all of the effort Hermione put into this research she could rarely be found anywhere but the library and even rarer was seeing her with Remus Lupin by her side. He was the one that pulled her out of her frenzy from time to time in order to talk.

She learned that his father and mother both worked in Diagon Alley and that his sister wasn't someone he liked talking about. And she, seeing no potential harm, told him that her parents were dentists and, under the guise of saying it was at Beauxbaton, told him about her friends.

She had even begun to think of him as Remus, because he really was a completely different person than the man that would teach her. And this boy, she found, was completely stealing her thoughts from the project at hand. She was often glad that he would start up a conversation and take her away from the depressions of knowing that she had no control.

By the Friday of that week she found that sometimes she could go for entire classes without remembering the pang in her stomach. The pang that told her she didn't belong with these carefree people. The pang that reminded her that these people weren't hers and never would be- though they seemed to be Harry's. The pang that reminded her that Madam Pince wasn't just sick; she wasn't even in the staff yet. The pang that told her McGonagall might be dead. The pang that came with living in a world that was torn by war. The pang that reminded her of the future the world had in store for the people that made her laugh and smile.

The pang that told her she was running out of time to change anything.

~*~*~

It was Wednesday when she first had a pang-free class. She had been with the eight-person group traveling to another class when she suddenly realized that it was just Remus, James, and her.

"Where's everybody else?" Hermione asked James. He looked tired, but thoughtful.

"Sirius, Noelle, and Peter are in Muggle Studies. Valerie has a free period, and Lily's in Runes," James laughed a little, tiredly. "Get it? Lily's in runes? Ha. Ha." He shook his head slowly as Remus gave him a look.

"That was horrible Prongs."

"I know," he shook his head again, "I'm just a little tired Moony." Misters Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders Map, Hermione thought, laughing slightly.

"What was that Hermione?" James said, suddenly looking not nearly as tired as he had the moment before.

"What?" did I say that aloud?

"You said something just now. What was it?"

"Oh. That... um," she stumbled and by this time they had stopped walking, but Hermione continued forcing them to walked on and hoped she still remembered the way to Divination. Her mind raced. "Something Lily said. Last night. While she was sleeping. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs" James was still looking closely at her, but Remus had begun to laugh.

"I wonder why she would be talking in her sleep." He elbowed James in the stomach, "Maybe a little sex dream where she couldn't choose?" James laughed.

"Or maybe it was because it was that good and she had to scream out multiple names," James replied. And Hermione blushed and avoided both of their faces, more embarrassed than she could ever remember. She was embarrassed on one level because the friends that she had would never have spoken like that. Harry and Ron just wouldn't... and she was embarrassed on a second and deeper level because the boy that said it was the father of her best friend, no matter that he was only sixteen.

The group of three walked the rest of the way with the two boys laughing and smiling. When the ladder came descended upon them, Remus went first, leaving Hermione with a boy she barely knew- a boy that she was anxious not to say anything to because he was one of the most important people in the world and she didn't want to change that. She reached to get on the ladder but was held back by James' strong arm. When she looked at him she noticed that his smiling expression had disappeared with Remus.

"There are two things that I know. The first is that Lily does not sleep talk." He paused, letting it sink into Hermione's mind that he knew she had been lying. "And the second is that if you hurt my friend. I'll curse you. He doesn't deserve anything like that."

James let go quite suddenly and Hermione was free to climb into the classroom that she detested and wonder about the protectiveness of a boy that seemed to be able to laugh off even the worst of pains. There was now a new feeling in the pit of her stomach that had nothing to do with homesickness. Now she just had a lump of worry knotted in there. How angry was he?

Then she entered the room and everything seemed to wash away from her. She had perhaps expected the one room she didn't want to be, to be the same. She had expected poofs and smoke and an ungodly fumes wafting around the room. What she found instead rocked the floor a little.

The five windows were open and sunlight was pouring through them from each of the directions, impossible anywhere but in a magical castle. There were wind chimes in two of the windows. They let out a beautiful sound that was something like flute music. The chairs that were positioned in a circle were all large and cushiony and light in color. The floor was carpeted; a first for Hogwarts, and the walls and ceiling were a mix of light blue wood and white stone around the back. It was the most gorgeous room Hermione had seen with maybe the exception of the Great Hall's ceiling.

"If you could all take your seats we can begin," a quiet voice sounded. The ten students in the room went to their seats, leaving only Hermione without a place to sit. As she looked around she found the source of the voice looking at her casually. The Professor was the oldest person Hermione had ever seen, second only to Dumbledore. "I was not aware another student would be joining us. Please introduce yourself."

"I'm Hermione Granger," she said and the teacher drew a chair for Hermione.

"Hermione... you should be seated between Fredrick and James," and Hermione went to sit there.

"She sits us in alphabetical order by our first names," James explained and Hermione was astounded to find him even talking to her. But what she didn't understand was that while James was upset to find she had lied to him, he didn't hold a grudge. He never had.

James Potter protected his friends above and beyond what he needed to. Harry had inherited this trait. They both cared deeply about the people around them and protected them with strength they couldn't spend. James looked after his friends and while he didn't particularly care that she had lied, he still wanted to know why she had lied. He still wanted to know how she knew about the map because he was sure that was what she'd said. And above all, he wanted to know that she wasn't using Remus.

Class was nothing like Hermione remembered. It didn't have to do with the professor asserting her skill every ten seconds or Lavender and Parvati in the background giggling. There weren't even any death threats. Hermione felt a little lost.

"Miss Granger. If you would stay a moment please," the professor said at the end of the class. Hermione nodded and motioned for James and Remus to go on.

"You have just recently joined us?"

"Yes," Hermione said looking a little skeptically at the woman.

"Did you choose this class?"

"No," she said and seeing that the woman wanted an explanation went on, "the last Divination Professor I had was rather incompetent. I haven't believed in the Sight since."

"That's a pity," the old woman, whose name turned out to have been Professor McDermott, shook her head.

"Why?"

"I cannot see every aspect of the future. No one can. Just as I did not realize that you would be joining my class today, I did not and cannot sense the troubles that will befall this world. I know how to teach and recognize the gift in students. I can sense feelings, intuitions, and knowledge in others." She looked straight into Hermione's eyes with her soft, wise brown ones. "And this world is going to have its share of problems, but that is not why I asked you to stay behind. I asked you to stay because I thought that maybe you and I could talk for a long time without people listening at the door." She waved her wand and opened the door, only to find James and Remus fall to the ground.

"We only meet on Wednesdays but perhaps next Tuesday you and I could have a chat," the old woman finished and Hermione nodded before leaving with the two boys.

"That was horribly rude to do to a professor." She shook her head at them before returning, once again to the library with Remus at her tail and James wandering off into a secret passage.

"Wait up!" Remus called.

"I have no idea how any of you have even gotten this far along at Hogwarts. All any of you do is goof around and break rules. I've never seen any of you taking notes! I've never seen any of you put actual effort into your homework. I've never even seen any of you perform a spell correctly the first time!" she yelled.

Her anger had been building over the course of the week. She had only been in class with them for a couple of days but they had seemed even worse than the twins. And coupled with the fact that her chances of getting home getting smaller and more remote and her worry about James asking her questions and Snape knowing her cover story was fake and a professor wanted to meet with her and Harry and Ron would never have listened at the door. Harry and Ron weren't there! She couldn't take it anymore.

Hermione was frustrated and scared, neither of which were normal feelings for her. She didn't know how to deal with those emotions, so she got angry. Listening in on a conversation with a professor! Running through passages they had no business being in! Sneaking off in the middle of the night when a really Dark Wizard was gaining power! Reenacting scenes in History of Magic! And the worst thing of all was that she was beginning to slip up, beginning to feel comfortable, beginning to really like these people. She'd even said the thing about the map to James! ARGH! Plus there was the fact that she still had a chance to make things better and each day she spent here caused her more and more anguish as she tried to convince herself that doing nothing was the right thing to do.

Remus merely laughed and let her fume.

"You haven't seen us perform on tests. Lily got thirteen O.W.L.s, James got twelve, Noelle, Sirius, and Valerie got ten. Peter and I got nine. We can all do well when we want and most of us want to do well all the time. But sometimes things are more important than school and we focus on those instead." His easygoing voice and attitude did more to soothe Hermione than his actual words as she remembered the tests that she was supposed to be studying for. The ones that she had missed out on studying for during this little trip and her stomach did a loop to loop.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just really homesick."

"You can't judge people so quickly," he stated simply. "Sometimes even a lifetime isn't enough to judge a person by."

They walked together in silence until they reached the library. Hermione, wishing that he stayed true to those words and questioned the people he knew. She wished that he had questioned Peter, but she also knew that it was a terribly lonely way of life and she would never wish that on this Remus that she was getting to know.

"I have to meet the guys soon. I just wanted to see you down here. I hope your studies go better today," and Remus reached down and gave her a hug and was on his way. For a moment she thought he might have kissed her lightly on the cheek, but could never be sure. So she watched him walk slowly away. It wasn't until a few seconds later that she realized he dropped one of his best quills and chose to return it to him.

~*~*~

It was only a corridor away from the library that she heard the voices coming out from behind the walls. They were moving, as though in a corridor running parallel to the one she was in, but hidden from view.

"Sorry I'm late I was just with-" Remus' voice sounded and Hermione decided to follow him. She needed to hear what he said. She needed the information. She needed to stop the next tragedy.

"We know who you were with Moony," Peter said, sounding slightly foolish.

"Hermione, the girl we know nothing about and yet completely trust," Sirius said, sounding quite suspicious and bitter all at once. "Why do you all trust her? I've only known her a couple of days and you guys have known her one more than that! How can you just accept her? I mean I practically haven't even seen Moony in three days because he's been with her so often!"

"Dumbledore told Moony to be her guide and he's only been obeying him," James responded.

"Dumbledore wouldn't tell us to hang around with a traitor now would he? And if he trusts her so should we. We've never had reason to question him," Peter added.

"But really, what can he even know about her? Nothing more than us. Moony found her in the Shrieking Shack for goodness sake! That doesn't seem like a set-up to anyone else?"

"Maybe it was. That doesn't change the fact that Dumbledore told me to stay by her side and make sure nothing more happens to her," Remus responded and Hermione felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. He didn't want to be her friend. None of them did. They needed to help the Headmaster. She felt like she'd been thrown back into First Year, before Harry and Ron had become her best friends. "Plus I like her."

"I knew it," Peter was heard and though Hermione couldn't see his face, she could tell that he was smirking.

"Not like that. She is a really good friend," Remus replied.

"After only three days Remus? Three days? Do you remember what happened last time one of us did something foolish like that?"

"While I admit that she's obviously holding back on us, we can't live like that Padfoot, questioning every person we meet," James said.

"I know but we can't just not question anyone either," conceded Sirius.

"We can trust Dumbledore. You know we can," Peter said seriously.

"Fine," Sirius said after a pause. "I'm not saying I trust her, but..."

"We know Padfoot," Remus said and Hermione stopped walking and let the voices flow on ahead of her.

So they were only hanging out with her as a favor? The more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Of course the headmaster would be wary of new students and want them watched. Of course he would ask his top students, the ones closest to him, to watch her. Of course they would do it for him. Why else would a group of people living in one of the most dangerous periods in history befriend a stranger the way they had?

But knowing all of that still didn't change the fact that she felt like a fool.