Quidditch in Bed

Chapter 4: Setting up the match.

There are various factors that one should take into account when arranging a match for the first time, especially with an established team. There are plenty of pit-falls, ready to trap the unwary Quidditch player, and it is our intention to draw your attention to them, in order to gain a pleasurable detention.
Once you have made your initial contact with the opposition team captain, one is advised to move to phase II - arranging a match.

Recent Opponents and Form
One should always be aware of the teams that your opponent has played against recently, whenever this information is readily available. I know that some of you may consider that ignorance is bliss, but does one really want to find oneself with a double-booked pitch?
If your witch is a regular player, one should know precisely how long these games lasted for - in this case one does not want a witch capable of executing the plumpton pass every week. Games lasting a couple of months are to be preferred in their recent past - there should be no exhaustion, while ensuring that the broom hasn’t been allowed to gather cobwebs. Some players may consider the latter case to be a better bet, as some teams are so desperate for a game that they’ll play anyone, but your authors urge caution. These witches may be so used to practicing solo that they become a lot harder to play against, and may even expect a great deal more finesse from your clumsy hand passes.
As far as recent opponents are concerned - you do not wish to find yourself competing with a re-match against a rival team. Be sure that the last game has finished - on both sides - before the next game commences, if necessary by conceding the snitch, and then locking it away.

Home or Away
Location, location, location - all good matches depend on atmosphere. There are some players who prefer to play away, hoping that a witch’s natural familiarity with her surroundings may lead her to feel relaxed and let down her guard. It is also possible to use this to your advantage in order to increase her responsibility for the success of the skirmish. Cheering team-mates may help boost your confidence, but in the context of an intense practice session you may find them to be a distraction, and more of a hindrance than a help. It is best to leave them at home - even the most mild-mannered supporters may appear like hooligans to the opposition. Those supporters that gave you the strength to set up an individual encounter may now also be the broken brooms in the Hogwarts supplies cupboard.
On the other hand, home advantage means just that - you know the lie of the land, and how the wind blows. Should the practice go on too late, then you're in the position to offer her a bed for the night. See also in this chapter 'pick up game or cup final' for details about choosing a particular location.
Personal Quidditch doesn't rely on the spectators to make the players feel important. That is entirely down to how you choose to play it. wherever you choose to play, always have in mind your final desired outcome with that quaffle and snitch.
A word to wise - playing on neutral ground is not considered advisable. It gives neither of you a natural advantage to be exploited, and is generally uncomfortable. The only time this might be suggested is when your cheerleaders from both sides are liable to drown out whatever delicate manoevres you were planning to execute, particularly when they are more certain of the consequences than you are.

Future Engagements
It is not advisable to make pitch bookings too far ahead, nor with too many different sides. This may lead to embarrassment, due to misjudgment.
If you should find yourself in the happy position that you just keep letting those snitches out, then perhaps you should acquire your own pitch, in order to prolong the game.
Hedging your bets as to which team will show is considered poor sportsmanship, and the player that does that should be grateful to escape with only minor hexes - twisted engorgement charms are not to be trifled with, especially when directed to specific parts of the anatomy.
However, it may be considered prudent to have an occasional casual engagement available at short notice should the need arise. This may be mutually beneficial, especially when team captains of an older generation are asking when you’re going to get a team of your own together, and let them coach again.
Be warned - excessive repetition of this ploy may be disastrous, and lead to complications, such as anticipated interceptions on the part of the captains towards your co-conspirator. Do not under-estimate the fanaticism of Quidditch elders for discovering new talent and training the new generation.

Weather Conditions
Consider carefully before committing yourself to any matches as to precisely what conditions you will be playing in, and what the long range forecast is for your present area. Some witches have an inclination to drizzle all over your robes - where this is the case, you are advised to pack your shoulder pads, and make sure you have a good water-proofing charm on your robes.
Foggy conditions can be hazardous, while mist can lead to a sense of adventure. Fog is defined when all recognizable landmarks are obscured at a distance of 20 feet in this case. For the experienced broom-rider fog can be an intriguing experience, particular if one has good company.
The ideal conditions for riding are of course clear skies, and a light breeze, but one shouldn’t expect these at all times. In many cases you may find that there is cloud on the horizon, and the apparent direction of the breeze is not always an indication that that cloud is going to stay there.
Snow can be enchanting to begin with, but one really doesn’t want to be suffering from emotional hypothermia. However well protected you think you are, a good Gryffindor prefers his witches warm-blooded. Hail storms are short-lived, unpleasant, and easily weathered.
If you find frost settling in, beware of the cracks that form - you may later find them tripping you up.

Pick up game, or cup final
Finally, about the substance of the contest. Is this a pick-up game, arranged minutes before, or is it something you've had planned for months? Does your opponent know exactly what is going on - it can be very hard to stay one step ahead of your witch, but well worth the effort. She will be surprised if she thinks you're off to "Lunar Phase" when you're planning on a night at the Muggle opera.
Whichever it is, plan the details where possible. Knowing "Which Witch" will help you gauge this appropriately. Try to pitch the level of play appropriately - unless she's a Slytherin and you've got a grudge - the plan is not to utterly humiliate her. Or even mildly embarrass her. It is to flatter, bedazzle and enchant her with your skills of illusion and sensation. The aim is to let your magic play through her robes like a breeze on a broomstick. Whatever the game, play like a sportsman. Play to win and win with style.