Meeting Big Brother

Chapter Three: Where We All Show Our Deepest, Darkest Secrets

I don't know when I first found out about Mum's imaginary friend, Dick. I think it was when I was five, and during one of those periods of time Dad was away on Auror business. We were at home, and my friend Ben was over. Ben's in Hufflepuff now, so I don't see him that often, but he still comes over sometimes in the summer.

Anyway, we were sitting in the living room, playing Exploding Snap. Mum was in her rocking chair, as usual, and then suddenly, she started talking. At first, we thought she was talking to us. But then she started talking to the fireplace. She kept on calling it 'Richard' or 'Dick'. Ben and I just looked at each other until she turned around and started weeping, since her 'little Richard had gone away again'.

And that was the first time out of many. Poor Mum... she never got over Harry, who Voldemort killed, nor Richard, who she miscarried after narrowly escaping Voldemort. Either way, I have to hate Voldemort. The evil git disappeared for some reason, a year after I was born. He was at the height of his powers, too. No one knows where he went or what he's doing.

I had to tell Harry about that last part. He got really silent after that, which gave the Dursleys time to glare at me and criticise my hair, which is messy, like Dad's and Harry's. Malfoy and Granger looked livid that it would take that long for Uncle Remus to talk to Dumbledore and prepare a place for us to stay, and didn't say a word as we were led in.

"So, where's my room?" Malfoy drawled.

The Dursleys looked at him stupidly, as if he had grown another head. (I wish he did. Then we could execute him, and claim he was a dangerous beast.) "What do you mean, your room?" Uncle Vernon asked disbelievingly. "You lot are going to make yourselves comfortable in the freak's room. There's enough space for all four of you in there!"

Now it was Malfoy's turn to look stupid. He blinked. "I am not sharing a room with Granger or Potter!" he hissed finally. "I... I order you to give me my own room!"

"Like the rest of us want to spend any time with you," Harry said dryly. I snickered.

Malfoy glared at us. "Shut up, Potter," he said to me. He looked at Harry. "Other Potter," he said finally. Harry rolled his eyes. Malfoy turned back to the Dursleys, who were looking quite angry. "I am the Head Boy of H-"

"What are you talking about?" Harry cut in. "I am!"

"You wish," Malfoy snapped. "I am the Head Boy of H-"

"No, I am," Harry said, holding up a badge.

Malfoy stared at him, then back down at his robes. "How could there be two Head Boys?" he muttered to himself.

"Maybe," Granger said, "because this is obviously an alternate universe, and because of the theory of portal travelling and the multiplication of objects, which was created in 1862 by Nicholas Flamel, the famous researcher and philosopher, says that any object carried over by a traveller will indeed double itself, therefore creating a type of paradoxical... well, I'm not completely sure that's the word... it creates an imbalance in the current world and the former world, which may or may not throw the two worlds into oblivion..."

She droned on and on. I think everyone got glassy-eyed by the time she reached the words 'obviously an'. I found myself thinking about nicer things. Like Rose Zeller. A Hufflepuff, but I was in the mood for a kind person. And her golden hair... damn, why couldn't I have chosen to direct my crush on that Ravenclaw girl I bumped into in the corridors the day before? Malfoy seemed to be daydreaming about something similar, because he looked ready to drool.

"... and so the creation of an identical force in a universe would therefore fail, and any attempt to do so should be terminated immediately," Granger finished with a flourish. She looked around, beaming, probably expecting us to applaud or something. God, that girl should go and transform into a textbook or something.

All Granger got was, "Huh?" from Dudley. Everyone else was too glassy-eyed to notice that she had stopped talking. Uncle Vernon was apparently very interested in that Muggle machine... a mike wag? Aunt Petunia was watching Granger, but seemed to be looking past her. Malfoy was, as I said before, nearly drooling. Harry was staring avidly at Dudley's enormous sandwich, which was resting on the table.

Granger looked ready to murder. "HELLO? I SAID THAT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR TWO OF THE SAME BADGE TO EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE!" she screeched. Everyone jumped. Rose flew out of my head. Malfoy put his usual sneer on. Harry looked back up at Granger. And Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia went back to looking angry.

Harry and Malfoy looked at the other's badge. "Uh... Hermione?" Harry said. I wondered how Harry knew Granger, and why he called her 'Hermione'. "We just proved that these two badges actually exist. See?" He held up his badge.

Uncle Vernon banged his fist on the table. "That's enough!" he growled. "All of you, up, now! The sooner we get you out of sight, the better!" He suddenly thought of something. Uncle Vernon thinking... now that created an interesting effect on his face. "And don't think about using... the m-word to get yourselves out!" he said.

M-word? What did that mean? But Harry was already ushering us upstairs (and in Malfoy's case, shoving forcefully). "Why do we have to stay here?" I asked. "I mean, Uncle Remus can just tell Dumbledore, right?"

"Er... there's more than just that," he said nervously, looking at Malfoy briefly for some reason.

He opened the door to a room. Well, the best word to describe it would be 'messy'. Granger looked ready to shriek in horror. Stickler. Nit-picker. Oh, great cleanliness goddess, we worship you. I'm ready to roll my eyes, folks. An unfamiliar snowy owl was perched in a cage in the corner. Books were strewn across the floor. Parchment littered the desk. And there were ink stains all over the place. Luckily, Harry hadn't thrown his clothes all over the room. I don't think I'd be able to live if I ever saw anyone else's underwear.

"God, what a mess," Malfoy muttered. "Wait 'till my father hears. If I didn't want to go home so badly..." He picked the books off the bed gingerly, as if they were diseased, and threw them on the floor. Then he crawled under the sheets. "Night, all," he said, smirking.

Harry's face looked horrified. "What are you doing?" he hissed, marching over and trying to drag Malfoy out of his bed. "That's my bed, you bastard!"

Malfoy ignored him and threw Harry's pillow over his head. "All right, stay there," Harry said. "It's not like I'll ever sleep in that bed ever again, after you went in it." Malfoy didn't respond. Instead, we all became very grateful that he had a pillow over his head. Loud, obnoxious snores emitted from beneath the pillow. Were they fake?

"Right," Granger said in a disgruntled voice. "I don't care. I am not sleeping on the floor." She strode over to the bed, and to Harry's horror, tucked herself into the spot Malfoy wasn't occupying. The snores stopped. Maybe they were fake.

"Get out, Mudblood!" Malfoy snarled, trying to push Granger off the bed. Granger, however, had already fallen asleep, and was snoring really loudly. And they were real snores.

"I feel bad for Ron," Harry muttered before stretching out on his desk. "Night."

"Wait! Where am I supposed to go?" I asked. I sighed, and jumped onto the bed, where there was a space between Malfoy and Granger. The good news: I got to stay. The bad news: both were really loud.

***

"Rose!" I shouted. Rose turned.

"Oh, Tom," she said, hugging me. "Tom, wake up, you're hugging Hermione."

"No I'm not," I said.

Rose smiled, and hugged me some more. "Oh, Pansy," she moaned in an oddly deep voice. "Pansy..."

Pansy? My eyes snapped open. "Pansy..." someone muttered from next to me. I felt nauseous. Someone was hugging me from behind. And Granger was in front of me. I realised I had been dreaming that she was Rose. That meant...

"TOM!" Harry bellowed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" I said.

There was a snort as the other two woke up. Then an unfamiliar voice said, "No awake person would allow my cousin to hug them." A woman with long platinum hair and a face that reminded me of a female Malfoy with an actually good-looking face was standing next to Harry.

There was a horrified yell from Malfoy as he realised who he had been cuddling for the past few minutes. Granger also looked disgusted. Harry, however, looked like he was trying not to laugh. The female Malfoy began to change all of a sudden. Her hair turned black, and she became a different kind of beauty. Then her hair became brown, and she became a sweet-faced woman. Finally, her hair turned purple and shoulder length. "What do you think, Harry?" she asked.

"Uh... fine, Tonks," Harry said.

The woman named Tonks nodded. "Hello, cousin Draco," she said.

"Who are you?" Malfoy asked rudely.

Tonks looked taken aback. "I don't exist in your universe? Nymphadora Tonks, daughter of Andromeda and Ted Tonks."

Andromeda. Andromeda Lestrange, the Death Eater? "You're Callipso Lestrange?" I asked in confusion.

"Lestrange? I should hope not," Tonks sniffed. "As if I'm willingly related to Uncle Roldolphus."

"Uncle Roldolphus?" Malfoy asked. "He taught me how to fly!"

"Uh... when you were a child in this universe, Draco, Uncle Roldolphus was in Azkaban," Tonks said. "Now are you lot coming or not? Or do you want to stay here for the rest of your lives? It's not a very nice place."

Malfoy scowled. "As if we'd ever stay here," he said.

"Let's go," Granger said, as if we were the ones holding her up.

"Where are we going?" I asked Harry.

"Number Twelve Grimmauld Place," he replied. "Do you know where that is?"

Grimmauld Place. I do know where it is. And I'd rather not talk about it, thank you very much.