Meeting Big Brother

Chapter Two: Do You Really Want to Know?

I've had some of the weirdest dreams you could ever think of. One time, I had a dream that I met Granger up in the Astronomy Tower, and we snogged for hours. She was wearing the most revealing pink bikini. Ahem. That was back in my second year, when I had a hopeless crush on her, even though Euan and I had made an oath to hate her for eternity. And you know what was so great about that dream? She was actually my height. I never told anyone about that dream, except for Euan. Partly because Euan laughed and teased me about it for months.

So I found myself dreaming about a pelican flying in purple water. Except it was probably for about two seconds, since the next thing I knew, my eyes were open, my back was sore, and everyone was staring down at me. And I was still on the floor. "Are you all right?" the person pretending to be Harry said.

"Get away, you impostor!" I shouted (It sounded rather stupid). For one thing, this person was wearing Muggle clothes. And not ones that fit, either. You see, at home, I usually wear Muggle clothes too. But they actually fit. So if this person was really Harry, he would be in clothes that fit, right? Ah, another brilliant deduction from the ever-so-intelligent Tom. "You're not Harry! Harry's been dead for the last sixteen years!"

The impostor had the... gall to look confused. He looked at me as if I was insane. I am not insane. He obviously was, pretending to be my dead brother. Maybe he worked for Voldemort. But why would Voldemort have his servant dress up in Muggle clothes? Maybe he was undercover. Yes, that's it, undercover. Dad had to do that once a few years ago, for the Ministry. He was away for months. But I don't think Mum noticed, since she was in an insane fit at the time.

"What?" he said blankly. "I'm not dead." He turned to Granger and Malfoy. "Who is this, anyway? He's mad or something..."

"Am not!" I said indignantly. "You are, you follower of Voldemort!"

The impostor's jaw dropped. "I am not a follower of Voldemort!" His eyes bored into mine. It wasn't fair. He had the scary green eyes. I got stuck with my Dad's stupid, boring hazel ones. But at least I don't have to wear glasses. Ha, one point for me.

"Are too," I said, looking back at him and giving him my best Malfoy glare. The one thing Malfoy is good for. You can copy his glare.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"ARE NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AR-"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?" This time, it was another voice. Both of us wheeled around, and found ourselves staring at none other than Snape, glaring and holding a strange-looking device. He looked at the impostor. "Potter, why is it that I have picked up signs of very powerful emotions around here?" he said icily. He spotted Granger. "You and Miss Granger... engaging in mouth-to-mouth activities, perhaps?"

The impostor's eyes widened, and he turned tomato red. Granger screamed and dropped her book bag, which she carried everywhere. Malfoy snickered. "No, Professor," I said. "I just met this impostor, who says that he's my brother." I pointed at the impostor.

"I did not say I was your brother! I said I was Harry Potter!" the impostor said. "And what are you doing here, Professor?"

"See? See?" I said.

Snape looked at me like I had grown another head. "Mr. Potter, what are Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, and this... boy... doing in your house?" He raised an eyebrow at the impostor. "Who is the boy, anyway? I thought you weren't supposed to have visitors... I was on guard duty." He looked as if he wanted to be any place else in the world.

My jaw dropped. Wait, Snape didn't know me? Snape didn't know Tom Potter, the son of his school nemesis, and the one person who managed to turn his hair pink for a day? Oh, the shame. I don't think I could have ever faced Euan again. It would be the end of my career. Snape didn't remember me! The world is ending! "Professor," I said levelly. "I'm Tom Potter. You know me. Your student. The only son of James Potter."

The impostor looked at me incredulously. "No, I am!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"SHUT UP!" Snape yelled. "First of all, I wonder why either of you would want to be the son of James Potter. Secondly, Harry Potter is the only son of Potter Sr." He glared down at me. I swore inwardly about my... er... limited stature. "Explain yourself."

"I-I..." I said nervously. Even though everyone knows Snape is insane, for the obvious reasons, he always is... right for some reason. Sigh. Snape just glared down at me. Coupled with the fact that I was already under severe mental exhaustion... let's just say I let my emotions flow. All right, I burst into tears. Loud ones. "I... want... my... MUMMY!" I wailed, sobbing. "And Daddy! And even Aunt Petunia!"

"Whoa!" The impostor said in surprise. "Aunt Petunia?" He frowned. "You must be desperate."

Snape must have never seen someone my age burst into noisy tears, because he just looked plain scared. The impostor crouched down and tried to comfort me, but you could tell he was scared too. And maybe just a little scarred for life. "All right. Just tell us what happened," he said. He sounded nervous.

"Not... not while... h-he's here," I hiccupped, pointing at Snape. "Or h-him," I added, pointing to Dudley. Dudley was leering quite unpleasantly. Then I realised I didn't want to talk to the impostor either. "Not y-you, either."

The impostor raised an eyebrow. "Well that'll be a lot of people to tell," he said dryly. He looked up at Granger and Malfoy. "What happened?"

"Why should we tell you?" Malfoy said, smirking a little.

"I m-might get a detention!" Granger stuttered. I couldn't help but snort at that one.

"C-can I t-talk to P-Poofy?" I asked tentatively. God, I was pathetic.

"Poofy?" the impostor repeated. "Poofy?" Malfoy was snickering in the background.

"He's my stuffed teddy bear," I said, turning red. "I-I sleep with him sometimes... Mum said he belonged to Dad and my brother Harry too..."

The impostor's jaw dropped. "Poofy?" he repeated.

Snape snorted. "Yes, Potter, for once, I agree. That is a horrible name, and the boy needs to grow up." He sneered at me.

"No... you named Booboo... Poofy?" the impostor wailed. Malfoy snickered some more. Snape's mouth was hanging agape. Dudley seemed to be having trouble standing up. He looked ready to burst. The impostor seemed to realise what he had just said. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "No, you cannot talk to a stuffed animal," he said venomously.

"Fine," I said. I was probably cherry-red by now. "I-I'll talk to U-Uncle Remus, then," I muttered. "I-If he's here."

Uncle Remus was more reliable than Uncle Sirius, though a lot more rule-abiding. He was a werewolf, so he was unable to get a job in the wizarding world, so Uncle Sirius, Uncle Peter, and Dad often made him take their money. He actually taught me a few spells before I attended Hogwarts, when no one else was watching.

"Lupin?" Snape said. "He's the next shift. In ten minutes." I still had no idea what Snape was talking about. Everyone stood in silence. Finally, after about ten minutes, Snape sneered and said, "My turn's over. Go outside and flag Lupin down." He Disapparated.

The impostor looked at me. "Come on. All three of you." We followed him reluctantly outside, and were nearly run over by a speeding... was it called a carp? And anyway, why was it going so fast on a driveway? The impostor swore, and glared at the... carp. After the roar of the engine stopped, a man and a woman got out of the... carp and glared back at him. And at us.

"What do you lot think you are wearing?" Uncle Vernon hissed, his face turning beet red.

"Clothes," Malfoy said wryly. "Why? Do you want us to go starkers?"

Aunt Petunia gasped. Uncle Vernon's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, like a goldfish. "Well..." he managed. "I never... Potter!" He glared back at the impostor. "Who are these... people?" he spat. "And what the hell are they doing here?"

"I have no idea," the impostor said nonchalantly. "Hey, Remus!" he called. "Remus!"

"Shut up!" Uncle Vernon hissed urgently.

There was a rustle, and Uncle Remus emerged from behind a bush. He looked much older than the last time I had saw him, which was the day before. Maybe Granger, Malfoy, and I had travelled into the future, and the impostor was really my son or something. I shuddered. "Harry, you know you're not supposed to call on us..." Uncle Remus said worriedly.

"Uncle Remus?" I said. Uncle Remus looked down at me. His eyes did not light up in recognition. "I'm Tom, remember me?" I said, starting to feel a bit panicked. "Thomas," I said, hoping he would recognise me. "Tom," I repeated.

"Harry, who is this?" Uncle Remus said quietly. The impostor shrugged.

"He's not Harry!" I insisted. "He's an impostor! Harry died sixteen years ago! Uncle Remus, don't you remember? Mum went insane after he was killed by Voldemort. And it got worse after she miscarried Richard. Uncle Remus, you know Harry's the reason why Dad's still an Auror!"

The impostor was looking slightly nauseous by now. Uncle Remus bent down to my level. "Tom," he said, sounding unsure, "Harry's still alive. And who are your parents? We need to get you to them."

"But you know my parents!" I insisted, gulping. "James and Lily Potter! You're one of their best friends, Uncle Remus!"

There was a dry gasp from the impostor. He sat down on the hood of the carp, staring at me. "Tom," Uncle Remus said kindly, "are you sure? You see, you don't want to be caught lying. Being Harry Potter's brother is not all it's made up to be... it's very difficult. Now, Tom, can you tell us who your parents are?"

"I told you already!" I said, hyperventilating against my will. "Uncle Remus, I told you!" I pulled the mirror out of my pocket. "Look! This mirror was glowing purple when the three of us touched it... Euan and I were in the hospital wing, for detention, and then Malfoy and Granger came in, and we were pulled here!"

The impostor was gaping at the mirror. Then he pulled an identical one out of his pocket. "Remus told me that there was a myth that if someone says the word 'transvestite' on Halloween while they're touching it, it turns into a portkey to an alternate universe," he said quietly. "We... we might both be telling the truth... Tom."

"Come on," Malfoy said dubiously. "Who listens to those? Yeah, right. Weasley, get out of that stupid costume. You're not fooling anyone."

"No, no, Draco," Uncle Remus said. He didn't notice the look of pure venom Malfoy shot at him. "Listen, Harry. I'm going to talk this over with Dumbledore. For now, just keep them here with you."

Uncle Vernon, who had been standing in shock to the side the whole time, turned red then white. "What?" he said incredulously. "They will not stay, I tell you!"

Uncle Remus ignored him. "Harry, just keep them in your room. It won't be long."

"I am not staying here!" Malfoy whined.

"Like I want you to," Harry muttered.

"They're not staying!" Uncle Vernon said.

Uncle Remus looked at him. "Mr. Dursley, if you allow them to stay, Harry will leave your house a month earlier than expected." Uncle Vernon seemed to think about this. You could see the cogs (mind you, there weren't too many of them) turning in his head. Then he nodded.

"They will all share food, however," he grunted. "We don't have enough in this house, so Harry's portion will be divided among them. It's only one night, right?" Harry gaped at him. Granger looked disgusted. Malfoy looked murderous. I was ready to faint again. What kind of person was Uncle Vernon, anyway?

Uncle Remus glared at him, something that was rare on his usually calm face. Finally, he nodded, and gave us an apologetic glance. Malfoy actually growled like a dog. "I'll be back tomorrow at the latest," he assured us. He Disapparated.

"And at the earliest," Malfoy muttered. "Wait until my father finds out."