The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual

The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual.

Chapter 7: 2^nd February - 13^th February.

Tuesday 2^nd February.

Dear Diary,

Well, it's been a pretty uneventful couple of days. Just going to class, practicing Quidditch, snogging Harry Potter...

Oh, I'm sorry, did I just say snogging Harry Potter? I think I did! Yes! Ha! I've been snogging Harry Potter!

I was beginning to think that it might never happen. It had been almost two weeks since Harry and I confessed our feelings for each other and I was starting to get this horrible feeling that he'd decided that it would just be too complicated to have a relationship with me. Poor Pansy has been subjected to more than one lament about the hopelessness of my situation. I have never been this patient in my life. I guess it just goes to show how much I wanted Harry.

Finally, I got an owl from him last night.

Dear Draco,

I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting all this time. I wouldn't be surprised if you've given me up as a lost cause. I need to talk to you - can you meet me at nine tonight at the top of the Astronomy Tower?

Harry.

Well, this produced in me an immediate feeling of complete and utter elation that Harry was finally ready to talk. However, this was quickly followed by a terrible attack of the nerves when I realised that he hadn't said anything in the letter about wanting to be together. Then I felt determined that I would win Harry over in spite of his fears. Then I felt defeated because I know that when Harry makes up his mind about something there's very little anyone can do to change it. Then I felt hungry. It was all very confusing, and I had to lie down.

Fortunately, Pansy was on hand to feed me cubes of chocolate and advise me on what I ought to wear. At first I thought of putting on my best shirt and the ridiculously expensive trousers I got in Paris last year, but then we decided that it wouldn't do for me to look like I'd made too much of an effort. I didn't want Harry to think I was expecting anything. Then I thought of wearing my silver shirt with my tight black trousers and my long velvet cape, but apparently that makes me look like a pimp-daddy. Good to know, Pans. In the end, I put on my green cashmere sweater and the grey trousers I got just after Christmas.

I was really nervous, and I realised that my face had gone all red and sweaty. This made me start to hyperventilate, which made everything worse. Pansy had to hit me with my pillow a few times to calm me down.

When I finally got to the Astronomy Tower, Harry was already waiting. I was so nervous I could hardly stand up. I think I said something along the lines of "Meep!"

Harry smiled nervously. "Hi, Draco. I'm really glad you came."

I managed to find my voice again, though to my frustration it came out a bit high and wobbly, opposed to the manly growl I had in mind. "You... you wanted to talk to me, Harry?"

"You know what?" he replied, "I think we've done enough talking, don't you?" Then he walked straight up to me and kissed me.

It was everything I'd ever hoped for. Harry wrapped his arms around my waist and I buried my fingers in his hair, and we kissed like it was the end of the world. I was slightly nervous and I think I may have bitten his lip, but hopefully he just thought I did it on purpose to be all sexy.

Finally, we pulled apart. I think I said something like "Fanghad ephyngh."

"Helghest hoyishnggg," Harry replied.

We stood there leaning against each other, waiting for our brains to reconnect to our mouths. I put my arms around Harry and rested my head on his shoulder. After all this time, it felt so good to just be there, holding him.

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long," Harry said at length. "I've been a nightmare."

I laughed weakly. "I wouldn't go that far. I'd say you were worth the wait."

Harry pulled away to look at me. "Are you sure about this? I mean, being with me is bound to cause problems with your family."

I laughed. "I'm afraid I'd consider that as a bonus."

Harry smiled. "Seriously, Draco, you've spent your entire school career cultivating this reputation as the prince of Slytherin house. Do you really think you could cope with dating the school's golden boy?"

"Well, I don't know about that," I replied, looking up at him coyly. "I'm not entirely sure you're as well-behaved as you make out. After all, I don't think that good boys can kiss like that."

Harry grinned. "Oh, yes they fucking can," he growled, pulling me in again for another snogging session.

I'm not entirely sure how long we stayed up there, but in the end we thought it best to get back to our common rooms - we really didn't fancy getting caught by Filch. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye and there was much dithering around giving each other last kisses, but then the portraits started heckling us and we thought it best if we went our separate ways before they started to attract any unwanted attention.

I could hardly sleep at all last night. Pansy told me that I looked like I'd been smoking something funny when I got back because I had this really dazed grin on my face and my eyes weren't focussing properly. All I could think about was the fact that Harry and I were officially together.

He is such a good kisser.

Harry Potter is the most wonderful person ever to have lived, and I don't think I'll ever be able to get over how lucky I am.

Thursday 4^th February.

Dear Diary,

I'm really upset with Harry! We've been meeting up over the past couple of days, apparently to talk, but really to snog each others' faces off. Everything had been going so well, and I don't think I have ever been happier, even though I was getting through a ton of lip balm.

Today, however, the bubble burst. I'd been so happy to just float along, and then this big pin comes out of nowhere, and suddenly I'm covered in horrible soap formula, and some of it has gone up my nose, and I just know it's going to make my hair frizz... wow, I just took that metaphor and ran with it, didn't I?

Anyway, the point is that I'm not happy. Earlier today, Harry and I were enthusiastically making out in a cupboard (as you do), and we took a quick break so that we could catch our breath and I could reapply my lip balm. As you can imagine, we haven't spent that much time talking of late and, sappy as this sounds, I kind of missed our conversations. Besides, I didn't want Harry to think I was only good for one thing. I decided to take advantage of this brief interlude and catch up with what else was going on in my boyfriend's life. "So," I began, "what do your friends think about the fact that you're with me now?"

Silence.

"Harry?"

"Erm... Theydon'texactlyknowaboutyou," Harry said very quickly.

"What?"

He cleared his throat. "I- I haven't told them that I'm with you yet." At least he had the decency to look sheepish.

I narrowed my eyes. "And why the hell not?"

"Well... it's not easy, you know? They really weren't happy about Blaise, and now I'm with you, which is so much worse--"

"Worse?" I hissed. "What do you mean worse? Are you saying that that jumped-up little idiot is better than I am?"

"No, no!" Harry cried, holding up his hands. "At least, I know he's not. It's just that... they might need a bit more convincing before they can accept it."

I glared at him. "Well, you'd better start convincing them, hadn't you? Harry, I'm not going to be happy with sneaking around with you in cupboards for much longer, you know. I want to be your boyfriend. I thought that was what you wanted too," I sniffed.

"It is, love, I promise."

"You've got a funny way of showing it," I pouted. "Until you're man enough to admit that we're together, then we might as well not be!" I stormed out of the cupboard, ignoring him when he called for me to wait.

Stupid Potter. Why the hell hasn't he told his friends? Is he ashamed of me? I can't see why - I'm gorgeous, witty, and stinking rich! I'm the perfect catch! Stupid Harry.

Later.

I just got an owl from Harry. He apologised and said he was an idiot. He said that he was never ashamed of me, and that if I want to meet him tomorrow at lunch, we'd tell his friends about our relationship together. Well, that's more like it!

Oh God, what the hell am I going to wear?

Friday 5^th February.

Dear Diary,

I met Harry outside the Great Hall today as planned. Granger and Weasley were already there, and they scowled as they saw me approach. I can see why Harry might have been scared to tell them, actually - they can be quite menacing.

Harry smiled at me encouragingly. "Hi, Draco. Thanks for coming."

"What's he doing here?" Weasley growled.

Harry sighed. "Guys, I've asked Draco to come and meet us today because there's something we need to tell you. We're together. Draco's my new boyfriend"

"I knew it!" Granger cried. "I knew he'd get you in the end, Harry! Oh, I knew this was going to happen. Harry, what the hell are you thinking lately? First you go out with that moron, Blaise, and now this!" She gestured at me in disgust.

"Hey!" I protested. "Don't you dare compare me to Blaise! I'll have you know that I actually care about Harry, whatever you might think. See, I'm even willing to share oxygen with you losers for his sake!"

"Um, Draco?" Harry said nervously. "I'm not sure that that's the way to win them over."

"I don't care!" I cried dramatically. "Harry, I'm only being honest. I'm not going to lie to you and pretend to be all sweet and innocent just to get you into bed like Blaise did. I don't pretend to be any better than I am. But I am willing to make a real effort with these people for your sake, as much as it might pain me."

Harry gave me a mushy grin. "Aw! Draco, that's so sweet."

"Harry!" Weasley cried. "How the hell can you say that that's sweet? He just insulted us!"

Harry turned towards him. "Look, it is pretty sweet if you think about it. He's saying that he wants to make an effort with you guys despite the fact that you never really got on, because he cares about me. I'm sorry; I knew you wouldn't like it, but this is what I want. I want to be with Draco."

"Fine," Weasley said moodily. Whenever he gets angry he goes this funny shade of pink. It clashes really badly with his hair. He should do something about that. "Fine, Harry. You know, there are loads of nice people you could go out with, but you're just not interested, are you? You know what? I think you enjoy making things difficult for yourself. Well I don't care any more, you do whatever you want. I hope you and the pointy-faced ferret boy are very happy together." He gave us a look of the deepest disgust and stormed off. Granger gave Harry a semi-apologetic glance and scurried away after the ginger moron.

"Well," Harry said weakly. "I think that went as well as could be expected."

I put a comforting hand on his arm. "They'll come round. I really am willing to make an effort with them, you know."

Harry smiled. "I know you are. But... maybe you might want to think about being, um, a little more selective with your honesty. You know, a bit more tactful?"

"Harry, I am very tactful!" I replied. "Besides, it's not my fault your friends are so sensitive. And if we're going to be talking about tact, they shouldn't be so bloody rude to me!" I pouted.

Harry grimaced. "I know; I'll have a word with them. I'm sure something will work out. Look, I have to get to Charms, but I'll see you tonight, okay?" He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and hurried off.

Actually, I'd better get ready - I'm meeting him in half-an-hour. Stupid Harry's friends. I can't believe I have to be nice to them. Come to think of it, Harry didn't defend me after Weasley said I was pointy. Does that mean Harry thinks I'm pointy too?

Later.

I am so upset!

Harry and I met up for out customary snogging session at the top of the Astronomy Tower. It was all going so well until we had to say goodnight. He gave me a hug and I hugged him back, burying my face in his neck.

"Ow!" he cried suddenly. "Careful, Draco! Don't stab your chin into my collar bone like that, it really hurts!"

Oh God, Harry does think I'm pointy! I didn't say anything, but I was really upset. He kept asking me what was wrong, but I just told him I was tired and scurried off to hide my shame. And my pointy, pointy face.

I'm staring at myself in the mirror right now. I suppose I am a bit angular. Oh God, I'm hideous! What the hell is Harry doing with me? I bet it'll only be a matter of time before he find someone better and decides to break up with me. I mean, Harry's the hero of the wizarding world, he can't be involved with some freak with a tact deficiency and a stabby chin! Oh, Harry thinks I'm ugly!

Later still.

I just got an owl from Harry. He wrote:

Dear Draco,

I couldn't figure out why you were so upset before, but I talked it over with Hermione and she helped me figure it out. It's because I said you hurt me with your chin, isn't it? And because I didn't stick up for you earlier when Ron called you a pointy-faced ferret boy, right? Look, I really didn't mean to make you feel bad. I think you're absolutely gorgeous. I mean, your face is a bit pointy, but that's part of what makes you so attractive, you see? And anyway, what about me? I have a weird scar, hair that will never do anything I want it to, and I wear funny glasses. But that's just who I am. I don't doubt that you're still attracted to me because of those things, so you shouldn't doubt my attraction to you. You're the best looking guy at Hogwarts.

See you tomorrow,

Love Harry xx

P.S. I've had a talk with Hermione, and I think she's going to be OK with us being together. Might need a bit more work to get Ron's approval, though!

Harry thinks I'm gorgeous. Hee hee! Oh, now I've gone all stupid and mushy, and Pansy keeps rolling her eyes at me. Of course, it is a bit annoying that Harry needed Granger's help to figure out what was wrong. It's also slightly annoying that Granger can read me so well. I suppose it's good that she's willing to give us a chance, though. I don't want Harry to feel like he has to drop his friends because of me. More to the point, I don't want him to feel that he has to drop me because of his friends.

This has been a bit of a dramatic night. I can't believe I actually questioned my good looks! I never thought I'd see the day.

Saturday 6^th February.

Dear Diary,

Ah, I've just got back from another clandestine snogging session with Harry. It's tough work being such a stud. It's a hell of a job trying to cover all these hickeys up, anyway - Harry is very good at sucking neck. Here's hoping that's not all he's good at sucking. Aaaaaand, there's my mind in the gutter again. Honestly, Draco, just buy a couple of throw pillows and call it home, why don't you?

Oh, and the other news is that Pansy and Theo have split up. I can't say I'm all that surprised. I think that once she'd got closure on her crush she pretty much realised that the two of them have absolutely nothing in common. Theo didn't take it well. He's up in the dorm room right now, hugging his pillow and listening to Celine Dion. He keeps trying to ask me where he went wrong, and I keep having to run away. It's for his own good. Does he not realise by now that I only trade in sarcasm and thinly-veiled insults at best? Silly boy. I think Pansy's feeling quite guilty about it, so I won't make the situation any worse by driving Theo to suicide. See? Tact. I'm all about the tact.

Monday 8^th February.

Dear Diary,

We have been given the most hideous Potions assignment. Using what we know about various ingredients, we have to concoct our own potion which we believe relates most closely to the one Snape has prepared himself to induce hair to grow at an extraordinary rate. The good thing is that I'm working alongside Harry, and so now we've got the perfect excuse to hang out playing footsie in the library.

Oh, and I managed to get the perfect revenge on Blaise earlier. Harry and I were indulging in another very enthusiastic snogging session in an empty classroom earlier on, when the door burst open and there was Blaise, along with Millicent and a couple of other girls who think it makes them look cool to be seen hanging out with him.

There I was, sitting on a desk, my legs wrapped around Harry Potter and my hands up his shirt. Blaise looked like he'd swallowed a load of Bubotuber Pus. "Draco!" he said stupidly. "You and... you and Harry? You and... What the shit is this?"

"Yes," I replied coolly. "Harry and I are together now. I guess you could say he was ready to progress to the big league. Now, if you don't mind, you're kind of interrupting."

Blaise made a funny choking noise and stormed out of the room. Ha! In your face, Zabini!

Harry gave me a reproachful look. "Draco, that wasn't very nice."

"Blaise isn't very nice."

He raised an eyebrow. "Touché."

Friday 12^th February.

Dear Diary,

Something quite alarming has happened today, and I'm not entirely sure what I should do about it. Ooh, I'm all kerfuffled.

I met up with Harry briefly after Transfiguration for our scheduled mid-morning snog. We managed to find an abandoned classroom, and everything was going along swimmingly until events took... a rather unexpected turn. It's hardly surprising that these meetings between Harry and myself have become, shall we say, increasingly enthusiastic. I mean, that's only to be expected, right? The problem is that... I wasn't really prepared for what Harry's like when he's enthusiastic. He always seemed like such a sweet, innocent boy.

We'd been kissing as normal for a couple of minutes, maybe indulging in a little light groping, but nothing extreme. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Harry grabs hold of me and pushes me up against the door, pressing himself up against me. He pinned my wrists above my head, and proceeded to kiss and bite my neck. I was really shocked. I mean, he's Harry Potter! He's supposed to save puppies and be kind to Hufflepuffs! He isn't supposed to get all dom in a cupboard with a poor, unsuspecting Slytherin!

I'm really not used to being treated that way, and I honestly wanted to tell Harry to stop, really I did. However, for some reason all I could do was say "Oh, Harry!" in a rather squeaky voice. I certainly don't know what that was all about. I have a horrible feeling that I may have enjoyed it a little.

We carried on like that for a couple more minutes, in spite of my valiant attempts to regain a little of my control, but then the bell went and Harry pulled back. "Sorry, baby, I have to get to class. See you later." Then he kissed me on the nose and left.

I staggered out of the cupboard moments later, a little flustered and confused. Unfortunately I immediately ran into a couple of particularly obnoxious fourth year Slytherin girls who all giggled when they saw me. "Ooh, Malfoy, I wonder what you've been up to. Did you have a run-in with a vampire?"

I tried to regain a little of my poise. "As usual, your wit astounds me, Tiffany. Tell me, were you always this obtuse, or did it just come on through the long years of inhaling your own hairspray fumes?" (I was quite proud of that one, given the circumstances.)

The silly little twit smirked at me and walked off with her friend in tow. Hmph. Smirking is my thing! She used my own weapon against me! How very dare she! I wonder if I can get it patented.

Before she disappeared, she turned back to me. "Talking of hair products, you might want to use some yourself. Or are you taking styling tips from your new boyfriend now? Your hair's an absolute fright!"

"Yeah... well, so's your face!" I yelled stupidly after her, before running off to find the nearest mirror. Clearly the smirk warfare had sapped me of all my sarcasmic powers. It turns out she was right. Not only had Harry unnerved me with his Dom side and made me horribly late for Arithmancy, he'd also mussed up my 'do. Curses!

Anyway, that's grossly beside the point. What the hell am I going to do about Harry? I mean, okay, maybe I enjoyed it a little. But that can't be right, can it? I cannot allow things to continue like this - it's a slippery slope. If I'm not careful, I can see myself ten years from now, chained up in Harry's Dungeon of Love, wearing PVC underpants of something similarly ghastly. Harry will be all 'Come on, Draco, give it to Daddy', and I'll be all 'Oh, Harry, I've been very, very naughty. Come and teach me a lesson, Big Boy.' Oh God! Oh no! It cannot be!

Oh dear, Blaise did say that Harry was a fantastic top, didn't he? Is he expecting things to be the same way with me? Is he planning on making me his bitch? Oh dear... The truth is, I'm absolutely terrified to bottom. I know it's stupid, but it's never really been an issue until now. I can't just give up control like that! What the hell am I going to do? I'm supposed to be this big, badass Slytherin. I mean, all my friends think of me as a tough guy; what would they think if they knew?

Oh, Harry. How the hell am I going to get out of this one? I've been looking forward to us having sex for so long, how am I going to tell him that I can't bottom? What will he say?

I need chocolate.