The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual

The Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy: Aristocrat, Ne'er-do-Well, Rampant Homosexual.

Chapter 6: 6^th January - 1^st February.

Wednesday 6^th January.

Dear Diary,

Hmm. No opportunity to talk to Harry today, despite having double Potions together. I tried to sidle up to him when we were collecting our supplies, but I was blocked off by Granger who appeared out of nowhere. I suppose I could have tried to get past her, but I didn't like the look on her face. Granger has a history of violence as far as I'm concerned. What the hell is her problem? I was only going to talk to Harry; I don't see why she felt the need to get in the way. Women.

Pansy is very happy with her new nose. She does look much better - even I couldn't think of anything sarcastic to say about it, and that's rarely happened to me before. Much to her delight, Theo seems to have noticed as well. He told her earlier that she looked very nice, and asked if she'd done anything to her hair. They've been making eyes at each other all evening. I might suggest to Theo later that he asks her out; the recent improvements in my own love life make me want to help out other people. Who says I'm not a good friend?

Thursday 7^th January.

Dear Diary,

It's bloody cold today. And stupid Professor McGonagall wouldn't allow me to wear my cashmere scarf and mittens in class earlier, saying that her room had a perfectly effective warming charm placed on it, and that I was just being silly. Does she not understand that I am of a very sensitive disposition?

Blaise has been hiding in the dormitory for the past two days, claiming that he has a cold and is too ill to go to class. Madame Pomphrey gave him some Pepper-Up, but he still claims he feels like hell. Too ashamed to show his face more like, now the whole school knows that Harry dumped him.

Oh, and I had another run-in with Granger earlier today. She ambushed me after Arithmancy, saying that she needed to talk to me. Well, as you can imagine, I wasn't too keen on this, but I didn't want to do anything that might make her angry.

As soon as we were alone, she rounded on me. "Malfoy, what the hell are you playing at with Harry?"

I was a little taken aback. I mean, how is that any of her business? And how much did she know, exactly? However, I soon regained my customary poise. "What the hell are you talking about, Granger?" I sneered.

She gave me this look. "I'm talking about you sending Harry little notes over the holidays. I'm talking about you cornering him when he's on his own, trying to gain his trust. I'm talking about you giving him adoring looks across the Great Hall. Exactly what are you playing at?"

Well, this was all a bit rich. Sending Harry little notes? God, she made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with a crush. And I haven't exactly been giving Harry 'adoring looks'. Not too adoring, anyway. I raised my eyebrow haughtily. "And just what kind of business is that of yours? For your information, I've decided that I want to let bygones be bygones with Harry, and try to forge a friendship with him. I'm not doing anything wrong."

She took a step towards me and I instinctively backed away. It's not that I'm scared of her or anything, but I know that she has a problem with anger management. "You're not just after friendship though, are you?" she said. "You want him. Now, I don't know what you're playing at exactly. Maybe you're trying to get one up on your little friend Zabini. Maybe you just want to hurt Harry more that you've done in the past by using him then moving on. Whatever it is, I want you to back the hell off right now. Harry is an extremely capable wizard, but he can be very easily led by kindness. He never had any affection growing up and... it tends to turn his head slightly. Blind him to the truth. I'm not going to let him get hurt."

I was surprised in spite of myself. How could she doubt the purity of my intentions? "Granger, I don't want to hurt Harry. Maybe I really like him. Maybe I think we'd be good together. Maybe--"

"Don't give me that crap," she interrupted officiously. "I know you're up to something, Malfoy. And I'm here to tell you that if you ever hurt my friend, I will hunt you down and kick your ass."

She had a murderous glint in her eye, but I was too pissed off to be wary. I folded my arms and looked down my nose at her imperiously. "Just where do you get off on telling me what to do? I'll do whatever I want as far as Harry's concerned, whether you like it or not. You have no right to just assume that I want to hurt him. Frankly, I think you're an annoying little bint who delights in nothing more that sticking your over-large head into other people's business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be going. I'm afraid that if I spend any more time in such close proximity to you, your hair will eat me. Good day to you!" And with that I stalked off.

Who the hell does she think she is? Stupid Granger, trying to get in between me and Harry. I bet Harry will be really pissed off with her when I tell him. That's if I ever get the chance to see him alone, now that I have Little Miss Know-it-all breathing down my neck.

Saturday 9^th January.

Dear Diary,

Well, I've spoken to Harry. I still can't work out how well it went. Safe to say that it's going to be more difficult than I'd anticipated to develop our romance.

Gryffindor had Quidditch practice tonight, and I went down to spy on them, hoping to catch a moment alone with Harry. Fortunately, as they were leaving the pitch I overheard him telling Weasley and the others to go back up to the castle without him, because he wanted to work on planning some new Chaser tactics he'd read about. I quietly slipped into the changing rooms without him noticing. He was sitting on one of the benches, poring over a sheet of parchment. He looked so good - he'd just got out of the shower and his hair was still wet. Unfortunately, he'd had the poor judgement to get dressed. A small white towel would have perfected the image.

I called his name softly and he jumped. "Oh! Er... hi, Malfoy."

I grinned. "Hello. You can call me Draco, you know."

He smiled nervously. "Right. Um, what are you doing here?"

He didn't seem nearly as pleased to see me as I would have liked, and I couldn't help but feel a little hurt. I pouted. "I wanted to talk to you. Since when has that been a problem? Harry, is there something wrong?"

He got up and started to pace the room nervously. "I just... I don't know if it's a good idea if we keep meeting up with each other, that's all. I mean, I'm glad that we're no longer at each other's throats, but... I still don't know if I can really trust you." He turned to look at me appealingly.

"You've been talking to Granger, haven't you?" I said flatly.

"Well, yes, as it happens! She says you were really rude to her yesterday."

"Only because she was sticking her nose into my business! She was getting in my face, accusing me of trying to trick you into a friendship! She wouldn't believe me when I said that I didn't want to hurt you."

"And can you blame her?" he cut in. "We don't exactly have the best history, you know."

"But I want to make a change!" I cried petulantly. "I like you, Harry! I'm not trying to hurt you or deceive you. What kind of right does she have to stick her nose in?"

Harry frowned at me. "She's one of my best friends! We look out for each other, you know? And she's right - how can I possibly trust you after everything you've done in the past?"

I sighed. "Harry... this is rather embarrassing, but most of that stuff was done to make you notice me."

Harry almost smiled. "Really? Well, I... oh, that's not the point! Ever since I found out I was a wizard, I've had nothing but trouble. And it's not just Voldemort. In second year everyone thought I was the heir of Slytherin. In third year I couldn't go anywhere because everyone thought a serial killer was after me. Then there was the whole thing with the Triwizard Cup and all those lies about me in the papers..." He trailed off. "You see, I... I really don't need any more trouble, Draco."

I made a small noise of outrage. "I'm not here to cause trouble! I know you've had a hard time, and I'm really sorry! Those rumours and the stories in the papers were all scandalous lies!"

He scowled at me. "Draco, you planted most of those stories!"

Damn it all, he was right! I'd forgotten about Rita Skeeter. Curse Potter and his stupid long-term memory! I laughed awkwardly. "Got your attention though, didn't it?"

I could tell that Harry was trying not to smile. "Look, Draco, if you really are sincere about wanting to make a fresh start with me, you're going to have to prove it. Ron and Hermione are right - I can't just afford to trust people blindly, especially not people who have caused me so many problems in the past. It would be lovely to spend more time with you, but I'll never be able to really trust you until you've proven that you really are genuine. And that means being nice to my friends. They are a part of me, Draco. They come with the package. They've been there for me through thick and thin, and nothing is going to make me give them up. So if you really do want to be friends, you need to show them a little respect." He gave me a brief smile, and left the changing rooms.

He's kind of sexy when he gets all authoritative.

Anyway, I went back to the Slytherin quarters to complain to Pansy. She was getting herself all dolled-up for her date with Theo tonight. I managed to persuade her that the corset top she'd picked out was a little too obvious for a first date, and, teamed with her black mini-skirt, made her look like a hooker. You see what a good friend I am? I wish Harry could see how caring and considerate I can be.

Pansy was very sympathetic to my plight, but couldn't suggest any way around doing what Harry asked. "You can't split up the divine trio, Draco," she reasoned. "Annoying as they are, they're always going to be together. I think that if you really and truly want a relationship with Harry Potter, you're going to have to win over his friends."

"But Pans!" I protested.

"I'm sorry, darling, but I see no way around it," she said gently, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You're going to have to hug a Weasley."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday 11^th January.

Dear Diary,

Well, I woke up this morning determined to start afresh. I've wanted Harry for so long now, and it would be foolish of me to throw it all away just because he happens to have unsavoury friends. I decided that I would do whatever it took to win the approval of Weasley and Granger, as much as it pained me.

I put my campaign into action in Potions earlier. We were clearing up, and Granger and I approached the sinks at the same time. I stepped back chivalrously. "After you, Granger."

She looked at me suspiciously. "What did you do, plant something horrible in the sink?"

"No!" I protested angrily. I was about to say something terribly witty and cutting, possibly concerning Granger's lack of personal style or the fact that she fancies Weasley. However, I caught sight of Harry across the dungeons and remembered my resolution. "No funny business, Granger. I promise. I'm just trying to be nice."

She continued to glower unattractively, but proceeded to the basin and started to rinse out her cauldron. She kept giving me these mistrustful looks over her shoulder. It kind of made me want to put something nasty in her hair, and see how long it took her to unearth it.

As we were leaving, I looked over at Harry, hoping that he'd seen me being nice to his maddeningly annoying friend. I think he had - he grinned and nodded at me. Ah, it will all be worth it if he's going to keep smiling at me like that!

Oh, here's a horrible thought. If that's what it takes to get a smile out of Harry, what the hell do I have to do to get him to sleep with me? Be Weasley's personal slave for the day? Knit him hideous jumpers and massage his giant clown feet? Oh, dear God...

Thursday 14^th January.

Dear Diary,

Mission 'Win Over Harry's Friends' is going much better. I ran into the Weasley girl in the quad earlier, sitting with Luna Lovegood. Ginny looked a bit worried as I approached. I'm not really surprised - I did spend a good part of last term glowering at her balefully when I thought that she and Harry might be going out. I suppose I can be quite fearsome when I want to be. Well, now I know that she doesn't pose any threat and that she's just good friends with Harry, I see no harm in trying to win her good favour.

I went to stand next to them and nodded courteously. Ginny narrowed her eyes, and I saw her hand hover dangerously close to her wand. Now, I've heard all about her infamous Bat-Bogey Hexes, and I wasn't especially keep to experience one at first-hand.

"Afternoon, ladies," I said with all the charm I could muster. "Cold today, isn't it?"

The Weasley girl narrowed her eyes. "What do you want, Malfoy?"

"Just passing the time of day. No harm in that, is there?"

She crossed her arms. "Look, I know all about your little plan to win Harry over. I care about him a lot, Malfoy, and I won't see him get hurt."

"I don't want to hurt him!" I protested. "Why does everybody think that?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, okay, I see your point. But I want to change! Look, I really like him, alright? And I think there could be something between us, but I know his friends are very important to him and so I'm trying to turn over a new leaf with all of you. Is that so bad?"

Ginny sighed. "Well... I guess not. If you really do care about him, that is. But I'm warning you, if you ever hurt him I will hunt you down and--"

"Kick my ass," I finished for her. "I know. What is it with you Gryffindor girls? You have a serious problem with aggression."

I became aware that Luna Lovegood was staring at me. You know when people just stare and don't blink, so that it makes you really uncomfortable and want to curl up into a little ball until they go away? That's what she was doing. I smiled at her nervously. She had ivy plaited into her hair and looked completely insane.

"I believe you," she said abruptly. "You have Balthazar's mark of purity on you. Not like your friend, Blaise."

"He's not my friend!" I replied hotly, choosing to ignore the thing about the mark of purity. "Blaise Zabini is a giant fuckwit who's so dumb he can barely stand up and talk at the same time!"

At this, Luna started to laugh hysterically. She looked so funny that I started to laugh hysterically at her. Ginny looked quite embarrassed to be seen with us. Great - I am now the attractive male equivalent of Luna Lovegood.

We managed to calm down after a couple of minutes. "Sorry," Luna said, "but you're so funny! People always think I'm weird when I think things are funny. Do you think I'm weird?"

"Oh, no!" I lied. "I sometimes have the same problem. You see, sometimes I'll be thinking about something, and I won't realise that it's making me laugh out loud. Then I'll look up and people are looking at me like I'm insane."

Luna nodded sagely. "It is a problem. But, you know, at least you're laughing, so people will think you're crazy in a friendly, village idiot kind of way."

"Thanks," I replied dryly. "That's very reassuring."

"I mean it about you and Harry, though," she said. "I think you'd be good together. Much better than Blaise. He was clearly possessed by Horny-Tongued Furies."

I was about to ask what the hell Horny-Tongued Furies were, but I could see Ginny shaking her head violently behind her friend, so I decided to drop the matter. "Well... thank you for the support," I said. "I really do want something to work out with me and Harry. I'll see you around."

I think it went quite well. At least, I know I've got Luna's support, even if I haven't quite won Ginny over yet. Mind you, as Pansy pointed out earlier this evening, gaining the insane radish-wearing vote doesn't speak too highly for my campaign.

Le sigh...

Saturday 16^th January.

Dear Diary,

I spent most of the weekend doing all the homework I'd put off during the week. This was a crying shame, as I could have spent my time far more productively sucking up to Harry's friends. I've also seen tragically little of Harry himself recently. We've smiled at each other a couple of times, but that's it. I really miss talking to him and being around him.

Oh, but the big news is that Pansy and Theo have done it! They went on another date last night, but I'd gone to bed before they'd got back. I was woken up by Pansy jumping onto my bed this morning, wrapped up in Theo's dressing gown, grinning from ear to ear. Now, I don't like being woken up before I'm ready, but for the sake of our friendship I valiantly managed to resist walloping her.

"Pans, what the hell are you doing here?" I mumbled as she drew the curtains shut again.

"Draco, it happened! Last night! Me and Theo! Can you believe it?"

As soon as I'd got my head around what she was saying, I was more than a little shocked. "On your second date? Pansy, you slut!"

She hit me. "Draco, that's really mean! You know how long I've liked him! Besides, I find it ridiculous that it's perfectly acceptable for men to sleep with whoever they want, whereas women are called sluts! And you're in no position to talk, having slept with Blaise simply in order to, and I quote, 'get this whole virginity thing out of the way.'"

She was getting all huffy, so I decided I'd better make my peace. "Hey, I was just kidding," I said, reaching out to rub her arm soothingly. "I'm happy for you, I really am. But, and it's not that I'm not flattered, shouldn't you be spending your morning after with Theo? I'm not used to having debauched young women in my bed."

Pansy giggled. "I know, but I just wanted to tell someone. Besides, Theo really isn't so good at the whole conversation thing."

I smirked. "You've been lusting after him for a year and you've only just realised this?"

She rolled her eyes. "I was too busy checking out his arse! Anyway, you're right. I'd better get back before he wakes up." She hugged me and left.

I'm really happy for her, it's about time she had some luck with men. I guess it helps that she's a lot happier with her looks now. I'm not sure how long this thing with Theo will last, though. She's too smart for him.

God, I wish this thing with Harry would get somewhere already. Surely he must see how much I adore him.

Anyway, I must be off. We've got a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff tomorrow and we have to practice. Not that we really need to for a match against Hufflepuff.

Monday 18^th January.

Dear Diary,

Well, we slaughtered Hufflepuff yesterday. Poor things, they really didn't stand a chance. It looks like Slytherin and Gryffindor are definitely going up against each other in the final, which is a bit of a worry.

I saw Harry briefly as I was leaving the changing rooms. He was walking back to the castle with his friends, but he came jogging over when he saw me.

"Draco!" he called. "Well done! You played a great game. And you weren't cheating half as much as usual."

I grinned. "Well, it's this new strategy we're trying out this year. We're working on trying to improve our actual skills as players instead. It's interesting."

Harry laughed. "It's good to see you, Draco. We haven't had much time to catch up since..."

"No, I know."

"We'll talk soon, okay? Congratulations for the win." He ran off to join his friends, and I returned to the Slytherin common room in very high spirits. The celebration party was in full swing. I managed to resist eating any of the food Crabbe and Goyle had acquired from the kitchens, which left me feeling very virtuous. I wanted to talk to Pansy about Harry, but she was too busy snogging Theo in the corner. Then I thought of telling Vince and Greg, but I caught sight of them disappearing off to the dorms together along with a large chocolate cake, and decided it was best to leave them alone for a bit. I don't even want to think about what was going on there.

I was very proud of myself today. I faced my ultimate challenge in winning the heart of Harry Potter - being nice to Ronald Weasley. I found him loitering outside the Transfiguration classroom, presumably waiting to see Professor McGonagall.

"Hello there, Weasley," I said. "Getting homework back?"

"What's it to you?" he replied mulishly.

"Just making conversation. Say, is that a new sweater? I hear maroon is in this spring."

He gave me a surly look. "Are you taking the piss?"

For some reason, whenever I see Weasley I always get this overwhelming urge to take my shoe off and hit him repeatedly over the head with it. "Not at all! I was just being nice."

He gave me a look of the deepest suspicion and went into the classroom. Stupid Weasley. Well, if that doesn't prove to Harry how I feel, nothing will.

Wednesday 20^th January.

Dear Diary,

I have had the most fantastic night!

We had Potions last thing today, and I noticed that Harry was trying to get my attention. I hung back as we were leaving and he sidled up to me. "Hey, are you free tonight?" he whispered. "I need to talk to you."

"Of course I'm free!" I replied, completely forgetting to be cool about it. "When do you want to meet? In the owlery again? By the Quidditch pitch? In an empty classroom? Whatever's good for you!"

He laughed. "How about in the main quad at eight? There shouldn't be too many people around then."

"Okay, sounds great!" I replied, realising even at the time that I must sound pretty desperate. Harry didn't seem to mind though. In fact, he seemed quite pleased about it himself.

Waiting until eight was torture. I wasn't able to eat anything at all at dinner, prompting Vince to start thinking I have an eating disorder. He just can't understand anyone who doesn't eat like him and Greg.

I arrived a bit early at the quad. Okay, so I was half-an-hour early. I just couldn't stand hanging around any longer! Fortunately, Harry was fifteen minutes early, so I didn't have to wait for that long. Why do I always turn into such an idiot when I'm around him? We just stood there smiling shyly at each other for at least five minutes. Honestly, I think it as almost easier when we were at each others' throats.

Finally, I broke the silence. "So... you wanted to talk to me?"

Harry seemed to snap out of a trance. "Yeah, actually. I've been hearing a lot of funny things about you from my friends. They say you're acting really weird."

"Well, that's just charming!" I huffed. "I was only trying to be nice! After we spoke in the changing rooms that time, I realised you were right - I need to make an effort with your friends. So that's what I've been doing! It's not my fault that they're so suspicious and paranoid and can't see that I'm being sincere. I just wanted to prove myself to you!"

"Wait," he held up a hand to stop me mid-rant. "You... you did all this for me?"

"Of course I did!" I cried, throwing caution to the wind. "Oh, Harry, when will you realise that I'm absolutely smitten with you? Even before we were friends, I only did all those mean things because I wanted you to like me and you didn't. I was only mean to your friends because I was jealous. Well, I mean they are quite unfortunate as well, but it was mostly the jealousy! And since we've been getting on, it's made me so happy! I wanted to kill Blaise when you were going out, because I knew that he was nowhere near good enough for you. Harry, I... I really like you," I finished lamely.

A huge grin spread across Harry's face. "Really?" he said.

"Yes," I said, my stomach full of butterflies.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, Draco, I... I like you too! I've liked you for ages! It was tearing me up because I fancied you like mad, and I thought you hated me. I never thought you'd like me back! To be honest, the only reason I went out with Blaise was because I felt like it would bring me a bit closer to you. God, that sounds really bad, doesn't it? And then you started being nice to me this year, and I was so scared to hope because I didn't know if you really meant it. You... you do mean it, don't you?"

"Of course!" I replied, beaming at him.

We stood there for ages, grinning stupidly at each other. It hardly seemed possible that this was actually happening and that Harry had liked me back all this time.

"So," I said finally. "Where do we go from here?"

Harry looked slightly awkward. "To be honest, I really don't know. I mean, I know what I'd like to happen, but do you think it's really possible?"

Yes. Yes. YES!!!!

"I don't know, Harry. I mean, what's to stop us?"

"Well, the fact that we've always been sworn enemies, for one. Then there's the fact that we move in completely different circles. Also, you're kind of linked to the psychopath who's trying to kill me, and rumour has it that you'll be joining his forces after you leave school. Also... your dad's a bit evil."

I sighed. "Wow. We're like Romeo and Juliet."

"I know."

"Right, well, let's split this up. Our status as enemies has already been abolished - it only concerns us, and if we want to be friends or... more, we are at perfect liberty to do so. I've already said that I'm willing to make the effort with your friends, and my friends will be happy enough to accept you, so that's not a problem. And you should know that I'm not going to join the Death Eaters. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do instead yet, but I know that I won't be signing up with You Know Who. Finally, my dad's not really evil. He's just a bit... ethically challenged, that's all."

Harry laughed. "You make it sound so simple. God, Draco, you have no idea how much I want this. It's just... I need a bit of time. I mean, the whole thing with Blaise left me a little gun-shy, you know."

I nodded. "Blaise is an epic fuckwit."

"You're not wrong." He looked at my shyly. "Do you mind? I mean, don't think I don't want this."

I sighed. "Harry, take all the time you need. I've wanted this too long to give up on you now."

He gave me a beautiful smile. "Thank you." Then he came up to me and gave me a really soft kiss, just to the side of my mouth. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! "Goodnight, Draco. Talk to you soon."

I actually skipped all the way back to the common room. A couple of Ravenclaw second years saw me and I had to give them detention to recover from the embarrassment. I hope they don't say anything - it wouldn't do much for the old reputation.

Oh, dash it all, I don't care! Harry Potter likes me! Harry kissed me! Haha!

Friday 22^nd January.

Dear Diary,

I've spent the last couple of days flirting outrageously with Harry at any given opportunity. He's so dreamy. And soon he'll be mine! Unless he has second thoughts. Oh, please, God, don't let him have second thoughts. I'll be really good. I'll be nice to old people, even if they smell bad. I'll even be nice to Weasley! Just please let Harry be mine!

Saturday 30^th January.

Dear Diary,

The funniest thing just happened! I was in the bathroom, getting ready to go out with Pansy, when Blaise came in behind me.

"Hello, Draco," he said seductively.

I sneered and turned back to the mirror.

"Oh, you're not still upset about that whole Harry Potter thing, are you?" he simpered. "Look, that's over now. We were just too different. Not like you and me."

I rounded on him in outrage. "I hope you're not suggesting that you and I have anything in common besides ravishing good looks!"

"Aw, don't be like that, babe. I know you still want me, you can't hide it. I just wanted to let you know that I'm willing to give you another chance."

I treated him to my most impressive sneer. "Blaise, let's get one thing straight, if you'll excuse the pun. I violently dislike you. The only reason I went out with you in the first place is because I was bored. And it was never you I wanted last term, it was Harry. Frankly, if it's a choice between going anywhere near you again, I'd much rather spend an evening shagging a rampant Hippogriff. And you know how I feel about them!"

With that, I strutted out of the bathroom leaving Blaise looking as if he'd just been slapped round the face with a pair of Millicent's knickers.

HA!