Unthinkable Thoughts

CHAPTER SEVEN

~

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL?

Harry wasn't sure how long he remained out by the lake after Malfoy had left.   But it must have been several hours as it was now dark, and he was covered in snow, and he was suddenly aware how cold he was, and aware that he was starving.  He stood up and set off at a fast pace to the castle, thinking that he would grab some food from Dobby and then see if for once he could maybe go to bed and get some sleep.  Jesus, it was freezing.  He quickened his pace further.  It had been nice, inexplicably, sitting with Malfoy and smoking a cigarette.  It was a shame he had left.  Malfoy's nearness had seemed to ease all the pain, and his warmth had remained with Harry for some time afterwards.  Perhaps, thought Harry, perhaps it would not be unthinkable to see him again.  They hadn't spoken about anything - hell, how could Harry tell him all he had to say anyway? - but the absence of animosity had been surprising and, and...hopeful.

* * *

Draco stood and watched Harry for the entire time after he left him by the lake.  It had been an awful wrench to leave him, but Draco didn't want to rush things and scare him off.  I don't honestly think he's got a clue what's happened, he thought to himself as he stood in the third floor corridor, warm, dried off, looking fabulous, staring out of a window as the lonely figure of Potter got progressively more snowed up, until only Draco would have been able to tell that one of the snowy lumps was not a lakeside rock but the boy he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  And when he saw Potter move away from the lake and towards the castle, Draco felt his heart tick a little faster, and wondered when it would be best to see him again.  His inner self screamed tonight! but Draco's head said, wait, wait, don't rush it.  He'll come round.  Shit, thought Draco.  I've been listening to my head all my life where he is concerned.  And it's been wrong.  I'll try to see him tonight.  Somehow.

* * *

It was dark now and supper was not far off, and the Gryffindors were just thinking about getting up from Ron's bed and stretching their legs before the meal, when the door opened.

Harry entered, snow still in his hair and over the shoulders of his cloak, carrying a parcel that Ron immediately recognised as one of Dobby's food offerings. 

His entrance was electrifying.

'Oooh, is it snowing?' cooed Ginny, nervously reacting to the tension.

'Oh,' said Harry, slightly startled by the gathering, and the fact that they had obviously just stopped talking.  'I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting a party,' and he turned to leave the room.   But his heart was heavy, and he wanted to stay.  They all looked so cosy there.  He wanted to belong with them.

As soon as he had turned away, Hermione was wildly shaking her head at Ron, who had tensed to jump up and go to Harry. 

'No!' she said in a whisper only Ron could hear, but Harry's almost imperceptible delay in deciding to leave the room was enough to convince Ron in that split second that Harry wanted to stay, but felt that he couldn't.  Before Hermione or any of the others could stop him, he was behind Harry as Harry himself reached the door again.

'Harry,' said Ron, touching his hand on Harry's shoulder from behind. 

The others watched, on tenterhooks, breath held, all dying to see what was going to happen, yet feeling rather voyeuristic.

'We shouldn't be here,' hissed Hermione inaudibly.  'They're going to make up, I can sense it!'

'Harry,' repeated Ron, and Harry turned round to look at him.  Ron's eyes were itching with silent tears.

'Ron, what on earth's the matter?' asked Harry as he saw Ron's face screwed up in desperate hope.

'Harry,' repeated Ron, now with both his hands on Harry's shoulders, 'where have you been?'

'Just out by the lake, I didn't notice the snow getting heavy, that's all...'

But Harry knew deep down this was not the answer Ron wanted.

'No, I mean, Harry, you fucking stupid git, where have you been?'

'We need to get out of here!' insisted Hermione to the others.  'Quick, now, before it becomes impossible!' 

She got them all off Ron's bed and hurried them over to the door, where Harry and Ron were on the point of reconciliation. 

'Just off down to supper!' she said brightly, wiping a tear from her eye.  'We'll save you a couple of seats, it'd be great if you could both join us!  No hurry though,' she continued cheerily - Shit!  Shut up!  You're gabbling, Herm! - 'take your time, but it would be great to see you both!'

Then the door was closed, and Harry and Ron were alone.

* * *

Draco sat at the Slytherin table, as usual with a clear view of the Gryffindor table, surrounded by his usual cronies.  Speculation was rife as to who Draco had been out to see that afternoon, but Draco just sat above all the chatter and gave nothing away.  He had left all his smart clothes on and restyled his hair for the maximum wow-factor.  He wasn't sure, but he thought it just possible that Potter would appear at supper that night.

After their meeting by the lake, Draco himself was feeling loads better, even buoyant, and he felt that Potter's mood had lifted too.  Potter's unhappiness no longer seemed to be hanging like a weight around Draco's neck, and he wasn't sure when it had happened, but he thought that one of the effects of the magic love thing was that he could feel Potter's moods even when they were separated.  He just knew that wherever he was, he was happier than he had been for some time.  It must be the afterglow of the time we spent together at the lake, thought Draco.  The warmth is still running though both of us.  Heads had turned when Draco had walked into the Hall.  Draco ran his hand through his beautiful hair and smiled widely as he sat down.  He enjoyed the looks and shot a few sexy grins around the Hall.  Pansy watched carefully to see who he made eye contact with but she was out of luck.

'Oh do tell, Draky,' squealed Pansy.  'Who on earth was she?  You looked so dreamy and yummy, and you haven't got dressed up like that for weeks!  You must have been out with someone!'

'Hope you didn't get frostbite, doing the deed out in this weather, eh, Dra?' snorted Crabbe, and he and Goyle sniggered filthily into their food.

Draco rolled his eyes in fake theatricality. 

Pansy noticed and giggled.  'Just tell us which House then!'

'Or which year group!' chipped in Millicent.  'Come on Draco, you don't get all toffed up like that for nobody!'

The crass conjecture about his love life was beginning to get on his nerves, and he suddenly found himself saying to the crowd, 'Quiet!  All will become clear, as soon as the time is right.  Now, no more chatter about it.  It's none of your business.  Yet.'

There were more squeals and chortles and a lot more nudge-nudging. 

'So there is someone?!'  Pansy was nearly breathless with excitement.

'Yes.  Now quiet, and tell me how the plans to sabotage the Ravenclaws are going before next week's match.'

The conversation gradually turned round and Goyle reported on some broom-hexing they were thinking of.  Draco's mind drifted back to his own thoughts as the Slytherins settled down to skulduggery.  Truth is, he sighed to himself, as long as my father is alive it will be next to impossible to pursue an open relationship with Potter.  His fellow Slytherins could almost certainly never know, nor anybody else.  Even if he could win Potter over, which was far from certain, he would never win his father over to the idea that he would live for the whole of his life in a relationship with someone who was a) not a girl, b) not a Slytherin, c) not a pureblood and d) someone who, in addition to points a), b) and c), just happened to be the nemesis of Lord Voldemort.  Still, as far as Potter was concerned, he had made a start.  True, it had only been a ten minute smoke with him in the snow, but, you hard to start somewhere.

With the attention temporarily away from him, none of his dinner companions noticed that Draco's eyes followed the crowd of happy Gryffindors which entered the Hall shortly afterwards and took their seats in his direct line of view.  Hermione and Ginny were laughing excitedly, and Seamus, Dean and Neville were more than usually good-tempered. 

Weasley was not with them.

Draco knew instantly what had happened, what was probably happening at that very moment: Potter and Weasley were patching their friendship back together.  He had felt something ever since Potter had returned to the castle not twenty minutes earlier.  Draco didn't know whether that was a good thing, a bad thing, or an irrelevant thing.  Weasley might poison Potter against him again.  Or he might have had his ear bent by Granger, who almost certainly knew everything, and could at that very moment be pushing Potter towards Draco.  Or, more likely, they had so much else to talk about, that Draco's name would not be mentioned at all.

But whatever it was, Draco could sense that it was making Potter happy, and for that he was pleased.

Lost in these thoughts, he suddenly felt a pair of eyes on him.  But they were not from his own crowd, they came from across the Hall.  He looked up in hope, but he saw Hermione looking straight at him, through her own crowd of unseeing Gryffindors, making sure and certain eye contact with him.  And she was smiling, genuinely, warmly.  She held the look for long enough to impart to Draco that it was more than a chance meeting of glances.  Fucking hell, thought Draco, she wants to talk to me.  Things are moving.  Fast.  He nodded imperceptibly at her, and she smiled again and looked away.  Shit!  What had he set in motion now?  His mind raced.  Things had happened in Gryffindor Tower; of that he was sure.  They were still happening now.  And then Draco was aware that Potter was very near indeed.  Fuck, he thought.  He's about to walk through the door!  And I can sense it!  Jesus this is weird!

It was no surprise to Draco that less than a minute later Weasley and Potter appeared at the door to the Great Hall.  That is, the event was not a surprise, but the reaction of his heart was.  It leaped and bounded nearly out of his chest when Potter came into view.  His breathing quickened and he had to look away in case the Slytherins noticed.  He knew he was blushing.  He took a mouthful of pumpkin juice, composed himself, ran his hand through his hair, and entered into the conversation on broom-hexing.  I've got away with it, he thought.  But just as he was in the clear he had an irresistible urge to look up again, and there was a split second meeting of his eyes with Potters'.  The force of the emotion nearly knocked him off his chair, and he pretended to be choking on his juice.  It worked.  Just.  The wondrous feeling of golden light that coursed through him lasted for several minutes.

The Slytherins had not noticed any of this.  But Hermione had.

* * *

Hermione rushed her charges down the stairs to the common room after closing the dormitory door carefully behind her.  Despite her caution, her worries, and her knowledge of the situation, she was daring to hope that a corner might have been turned in this appalling episode.  She had loved the time she and Ron had spent together, absolutely loved it.  And she was hopeful that they might have laid a foundation stone for something stronger yet to come between them.  But she also knew that time spent with a Ron who had Harry back as his best mate would be even better.  And she was desperate, desperate, to make up with Harry herself.  She wanted to take him in her arms, hold him, tell him everything was OK, that she would always love him whatever.  And she did truly sense that she was going to get to do that very soon.  Careful though, she forced herself to think.  Don't get carried away.  We're miles off a happy ending yet.

Ginny couldn't contain her excitement though.  'Herm!  It's all going to get back to normal isn't it!  Isn't it!'

'Shh, calm down Ginny!  They could be knocking seven bells out of each other for all we know. Just hold on and see what happens.'

Ginny looked appalled at the prospect. 

'They wouldn't would they?  Would they, Seamus?'

'I dunno,' laughed Seamus.  'I might, if I were Ron!'

'Well, you're not Ron, thankfully,' said Hermione, smiling.

The boys were also filled with something like infectious hope.  It had been intolerable in the dormitory for weeks, and at last there seemed to be a way through. 

'Ha!' laughed Dean.  'You'll be able to borrow the book after all, Seamus!  See what Charlie Weasley's spell is all about!'

'Oh God, don't!' cried Ginny.  'That book is horrible.  Just wait till I tell Charlie what I thought of it!'

'You will do no such thing,' said Hermione, as they took their seats at the Gryffindor table.  'We only know about that book due to exceptional circumstances.  It's boys' stuff, and must remain so, and you mustn't tell Charlie or the twins that we know anything about it.  Just think Ginny what it would be like if one of your brothers came up to you with knowledge of what we talk about sometimes!  You'd be horrified.  Forget the book, and leave the boys their little thrills.'

Ginny faked a look of great abashment at this humorous rebuke and they all laughed again.  There was a good feeling about the Hall tonight.  It was alive with chatter from people who had been out in the cold snowballing and larking about.  A warm glow of comradeship and security was settled over all four tables, blimey, yes, all four tables.  There was a lot of laughter at the Slytherin table too.  Hermione cast a casual glance over there to see if Malfoy were among the crowd.  Ginny saw her looking and smiled.

She settled down next to Hermione, leaned over and whispered in her ear.  'He's awfully attractive isn't he?  In fact, tonight he looks absolutely gorgeous.'

'Great!  Sausage casserole!' Seamus boomed.  'Get stuck in everyone before Ron gets here, or there'll be none left!'

Hermione turned her head and slyly whispered back, 'who are we talking about Ginny?  The stunning Slytherin over there, or the sandy-haired Irish charmer opposite you?'

Ginny's mouth dropped open in mock horror and she pummelled a lot of little girly punches on Hermione's shoulder.  Both girls were laughing so much that Ginny couldn't get any words out.

'Hey girls, calm it, calm it!' soothed Seamus.  'No need to fight over me!'

'I meant the stunner, of course, not the charmer!' Ginny blurted eventually.  'Although, now you come to mention it...'

Ginny and Hermione descended into helpless giggles, the meaning of which were lost on the boys, who were already well into their first platefuls.  Oh please, please let them both come down to supper tonight, thought Hermione.  She took some food, absently thinking about Ron and Harry, and as another violent burst of laughter blew up around her, she looked over to the Slytherin table unnoticed.  Malfoy looked up almost immediately.  She held eye contact with him for several seconds, trying to send him all sorts of messages just with her eyes.  After what seemed like a lifetime, she detected the slightest nod in reply, and she looked away.  Good, she thought.  Contact with the enemy.  I am sure that a meeting will not be problematic now.  Let's just hope it's still the right way forward when Harry and Ron get here.  If Harry and Ron get here, she forced herself to think.

* * *

Then the door was closed, and Harry and Ron were alone.

'Where have I been, Ron?  That's a very difficult question to answer.'

Harry felt his defences crumbling.  All the weeks he had managed to live without Ron and Hermione and Hagrid and all the others, he had always imagined it would go on like that forever.  But now, faced with Ron, not able to back out without hurting him even more, Harry just couldn't go through with it any longer.  And after spending just ten minutes with Malfoy that afternoon, Harry was filled with a good will that had been missing for ages.  Harry knew that he wanted to spend more time with Malfoy, lots more, maybe a lifetime more, and he couldn't keep Ron at arm's length for all that time.  But, telling Ron what he felt about Malfoy would end their friendship, even if there were any left to salvage.  So he just stood there, not knowing what to do, but increasingly aware of the pressure of Ron's hands on his shoulders.

Eventually some words came, tentatively.

'I'm sorry Ron, I really am.  I've...been thinking a lot on my own.  I'm afraid there's been something awful on my mind for weeks now.'

'Harry, Harry, listen to me.  You don't have to apologise.  You don't have to explain.  You don't have to say anything, not now, not yet.  Just tell me that you are all right, and that you are back.'

Ron's eyes were streaming.  Harry was moved beyond anything he had ever imagined he would feel.  He had hoped against hope that reconciliation with Ron would one day be possible, after the whole ghastly Malfoy business was sorted out.  But he was never, it seemed, ever, going to sort out the Malfoy business in the way he had hoped.  So why was he even considering carrying on with this painful scene with Ron now?  Even now, it would be easier on Ron if he just left.  Ron would never understand about Malfoy.   If he apologised to Ron now, as every nerve ending in his body was telling him to do, wouldn't it only make it even more painful in the end?

Ron sensed the terrific doubt and fear in Harry eyes, and the deep need Harry had for friendship, then and always.

'Harry please listen.  It doesn't matter to me what you have done, or what your problems are.  I will never judge you negatively.   If you've killed Snape or shagged McGonagall, or even vice versa, I'll be there waving the bloody banners, you git.  There is nothing you can tell me that will make me change my mind.  And I don't even want you to tell me now, for fuck's sake.  All I want is for you to say that you are all right, and that we don't have to ignore each other for one second longer!'

He was sobbing openly now. 

'Oh for fucking hell's sake Harry!  Don't make me do all this on my own!  Please don't let me make a fool of myself any more!  If you're going to go again, just go, you bastard!'

Harry was cracking.  In just seconds he would give in, he could feel the tension about to snap his body in half.  But, unbearably, Ron had even more to say.

'Harry!' he was practically shouting by now, 'do I actually have to say it?  Haven't you always known that you're the best mate that I ever had, that anyone ever had?  Oh man, you've fucking torn me apart these last weeks, not knowing what I've done!  It's a fucking shocking way to treat anyone, least of all me, who loves you like my own brother!'

He had hit the top of what his emotions were capable of, and he was gripping Harry's shoulders so tightly that he couldn't let go.  His voice came again, but unable to maintain the intensity at such a breathless rate, it cracked, trailing off into even more tears.

'...More than any of my brothers in fact, coz until recently you actually treated me like a real bloody person, and not some sixth-rate inheritor of some shoddy redhead genes...'

'Ron...' choked Harry in a tiny voice.  'Shut the fuck up.  Let me speak.  Jesus, Ron, I'm so fucking sorry.  I AM SO FUCKING SORRY!  I really am!'

Harry grasped Ron's shoulders and pulled him into a hug.  They gripped each other tightly.  Harry found that he was himself crying, and had been for a few minutes.  But these tears - so long held in, for so many years left proudly unused - did not cause him to crumble into a heap.  They forced him to focus on how important a moment this was, forced him to realise exactly how much Ron meant to him: so much so, that the realisation of how he had hurt Ron had provoked a stronger reaction in him than Quirrell, or Riddle, or Crouch, or Pettigrew or even Voldemort had ever managed.  Ron was part of him, an integral part, and the tears that Ron had drawn from Harry's exhausted thin body seemed to give Harry strength rather than cause his spirit to leak away.  His voice got stronger as Ron's lost all its impetus.

'Please please please forgive me!  Believe me, Ron, honestly - Ron, are you fucking listening? - believe me, I never, ever, meant to hurt you.  NEVER!  How could I hurt you?  You're like my bloody right arm!  I did it because I didn't want to hurt you!  It seems so fucking silly now, but I thought, if we weren't friends any more, then you couldn't get hurt by what I had to do.  Oh man this is so stupid.  I can't believe I was so stupid, PLEASE listen and forgive, Ron, please, I couldn't have done any of the things I've done without you, you've got to believe that, you've made it all worthwhile, I just didn't want to hurt you and...and...'

His voice trailed off now as well, and the pair of them stood in a tight hug, swaying slightly, both still crying.  But Harry had more to say.  He spoke softly into Ron's neck.

'Ron, I'm sorry, I can't expect you to forgive me till I've explained myself, but I can hardly string two words together.  You are owed the best explanation I can give, it's just that you're going to hate me when I've told you.  And how can I apologise properly till I've told you, oh shit, Ron, this is so difficult...'

There was a long pause before Ron pulled away slightly and looked Harry in the face.

'Listen to me now.  I will understand.  I do understand, already better than you know.  But we've got ages for explanations.  Not now.  If it's what you want, just tell me now that we are friends again, please, and let me decide whether I can forgive you or not.'

Harry looked at Ron.  How on earth could he ever have not wanted Ron as his friend?

'Yes, oh yes, of course it's what I want,' said Harry, in a very small voice.  'If you will accept my apology now, which I offer with every ounce of energy I have left, I would be honoured to be your friend, Ron Weasley.'

Harry could feel Ron's anguish begin to dissipate as he said, very slowly, 'OK.  It seems we have a deal.'

A glimmer of a smile appeared over both their faces, which became broad tearful grins.  They hugged again, the wounds fading as quickly as they had been exposed.

'Jees, you look ugly Harry,' smiled Ron.

'You look bloody dreadful yourself, Ron,' said Harry, also smiling, relief coursing through him like blood.

Eventually they separated.  Ron looked at his watch.

'Not bad.  Twelve minutes!  Thought it was going to take hours, knowing how fucking stubborn you are.  Easily enough time for us to get to supper.  And you, Harry Potter, are coming to supper with me now, to sit with our friends, who have all been off their heads with worry, and to eat a decent meal for once.  No arguments.'

'OK, Ron, no arguments.  Are you sure they will want to sit with me though?'

'Are you joking?' said Ron as they walked to the boys' bathroom to wash their faces.  'Hermione was wetting her knickers to get them all out of here so this sad little scene could happen.  They will be made up.'

'Ron, thanks.'  Harry paused slightly.  'I've really missed you, you know.'

'I know.  And I've missed you, you git.  And I've been, without wanting to sound melodramatic, rather worried.  You're just skin and bone.  And you're exhausted.  And I think you're ill.  But, we can talk about that later, or tomorrow, or whenever.  All that matters now is that you look a little smarter for your public.'

Harry laughed a little.  'I haven't had to worry about you though,' he said.

'Well that's bloody nice, mate,' Ron laughed.  'And why not?'

'Because I notice that Hermione's been taking very special care of you.  It's been lovely to watch it happen from afar.'

Ron grinned at Harry.  'Yeah, weird that, isn't it?  I didn't see that coming.'

'Didn't you?  Everybody else did,' laughed Harry.

They were walking down the stairs to the Hall. 

'Ron,' said Harry suddenly, 'you were fucking great on that Cleansweep against the Hufflepuffs.  You'd definitely have got the snitch if you'd been on a faster broom.' 

He clapped Ron on the back.

Ron stopped and looked at Harry.  'Thanks.  Sincerely.  You've no idea how much that means to me.  Thank you, Harry.'

Smiling, they walked into supper together.

* * *

The entrance of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley to supper that evening made quite a stir for a number of people.  Hermione and Ginny squealed as they saw them walk into the Hall.  Seamus, Dean and Neville stood up and cheered.  Dumbledore and McGonagall nodded to each other knowingly.  Draco's heart skipped several beats as he and Harry caught each other's eye, and they both felt the charge of something good, something that was just beginning, but something that needed hours and hours more exploration before they would understand and accept it.  But there was definitely, thought Harry and Draco separately, a way forward, a path to be trod.

As Harry and Ron reached their places at the table, Hermione ran towards Harry and flung herself around him.  She was crying buckets and Harry's tears returned too as he was smothered by her warm hug.  Ginny hopped from foot to foot waiting for her turn, and when it didn't look like Hermione was ever going to release him, she just barged Hermione aside and sobbed on Harry's shoulder.  The boys clapped him on the back and Harry sat down between the two girls, who piled his plate up, neither of them saying that he was dangerously thin, but both thinking it.

Harry felt blessed indeed to be back among these wonderful people, but was aware deep down that this acceptance back into the gang was still to be tested by some extraordinary revelations from him.  He wondered sadly how joyful any future winter suppers were likely to be, given what he had to tell them, but for the moment he was so relieved to be warm, and still wanted, that he could for the most part blank out this troubling thought.  Harry issued no public apology or explanation for his actions, and miraculously it seemed that none was expected.  He determined to speak to all of his friends separately as the opportunity arose, however difficult it may be for him.

The twins saw the commotion and moved their plates over to join the crowd.

'What-ho, Harry, back in the fold I see?' said George, warmly.

'When are you going to get back on that Firebolt of yours then, Harry?' said Fred, but Ron hushed him immediately.

'Quiet, Fred, there's loads of time to talk about that later.  Just let him eat in peace for now, eh?'

Ron, his Protector, had Spoken. 

Harry knew they were all itching to ask him a thousand questions, but they put on a show of a typical jovial Gryffindor supper to make him feel at home, with no mention of the past few weeks.  As the chatter carried on around him, his eyes wandered instinctively to the Slytherin table, where Malfoy, who looked absolutely beyond beautiful, was talking engagingly to his crowd.  Harry was suddenly aware that he himself looked awful, and nobody other than Ron had said so, and he felt embarrassed to be seen by Malfoy in that state.  But Malfoy seemed to be able to sense this insecurity, and looked up warmly at him, with the loveliest smile Harry had ever seen him give anyone.  The warmth of it rushed through both of them again, and Harry felt that he could have sat there for ever basking in that feeling until Hermione, seeing all as usual, flashed her own smile at Malfoy and nudged Harry gently in the ribs, begging him to eat some more.  The meal ended eventually, and it had been wholly enjoyable for all.

But if Harry thought that all his problems would go away because he had made up with Ron and the others, he was only partially right.  Certainly he ate a little more that night than he had recently, but he had no appetite for anything like an ordinary meal.  He saw the look of worry that flashed between Ron and Hermione about this and was touched by it, but still he didn't want the food.  After the meal he spoke jokily to Seamus and Dean while they were all gathering to go back to the common room, but he watched out of the corner of his eye as Ron and Hermione had another hurried conversation about something.  Ron then ushered him out, and up the stairs.  When they were alone again in the dormitory, Ron spoke to him seriously once more.

'Harry.  I know it's early, and I know you'll think I'm fussing, but I'm asking you to try and get some sleep.  You're exhausted.  I'll make sure the dormitory is empty for a couple of hours and will keep everyone silent when they go to bed.  I am sure that time alone in your own bed with the pressure taken away from you will at least get you some hours of slumber.  Will you try?'

Harry was grateful again, but he wasn't sure how effective these measures would be.  But Ron looked so worried, so concerned, that Harry just said, 'Yes, Ron, I will try.  Thank you, I appreciate it.'

Harry didn't hear when shortly afterwards Ron gave instructions to this effect outside the door to Neville, because, wonder of wonders, he did actually fall immediately into a heavy sleep as soon as he had got into his pyjamas.  Ron looked back into the room to check Harry had got into bed, and was pleased to see him already asleep.  Excellent, he thought as he rushed back down the stairs to find Hermione, who, if things had gone according to plan, would have got hold of Malfoy for a quiet chat.  Ron had no desire for this forthcoming interview, but he didn't care, because Harry was asleep upstairs, and Harry was his mate again.

* * *

Draco, Ron and Hermione stood in one of the empty classrooms on the fourth floor, a part of the castle that was unlikely to be busy at that time on a Saturday.  True, they were all three of them in a room without any outward signs of hostility, but there was a very long way to go, and nobody was quite sure how to proceed.

The deadlock had been in place for a good ten minutes now, which Hermione thought was a shame, as until that point it had all gone swimmingly.  As Ron had taken Harry upstairs to Gryffindor Tower, Hermione had kept the rest of the crowd just outside the Hall, still laughing and joking until the Slytherins left.  As the two crowds had more or less collided in the Entrance Hall, a slight (planned) skirmish broke out between Seamus and Goyle, which Hermione used as a distraction to stand next to Malfoy.  Without even the Gryffindors noticing, Hermione and Malfoy exchanged a few words.  That is to say, Hermione whispered 'Charms classroom, 8pm tonight if you'd like to talk about a way out of this mess,' and Malfoy nodded as he walked over to Goyle.  Ron had come bounding down the stairs shortly afterwards with the news that Harry was already asleep with Neville as sentry, and then the group had retired to a circle of chairs out of the way in the entrance hall to discuss a way forward for the meeting with Malfoy, and had ended at about ten to eight with a solid-sounding agenda.  And then Ron and Hermione had gone up the fourth floor, found Malfoy already waiting for them, and absolutely nothing had happened since.

Eventually it was Hermione who broke the silence.

'Well, I think we all know why we are here.'

'Yes,' said Ron, encouragingly.

'Do we?' said Draco.  'Would you enlighten me then?'

'Why did you come, if you didn't know what we need to meet about?' scowled Ron.

'Oh, curiosity of course,' sneered Draco.  'When a foxy unattached babe like Granger gives me the eye at supper and whispers a secret rendezvous in my ear shortly afterwards, how could I not be intrigued?'

'Shut up, Malfoy,' snarled Ron, 'don't talk about Hermione like that.  You have her to thank for our being here at all'

'Well, then thank you Granger, for this lovely little chat.'

'Quiet, both of you.  This is not going to get us anywhere.'  Hermione thought for a while.  'I wasn't the only one catching people's eyes at supper tonight, though, was I?'

'I am amazed you noticed anything at all at supper this evening, Granger, what with the drama that was going on at your table, crying, hugging and so forth.'

'OK, Malfoy, OK, we'll start there, seeing as you brought it up,' said Hermione.  'Certainly, yes, this evening at supper was a rather emotional occasion, and I am sure you know better than most why.  After weeks of very difficult times, Harry began to talk to us again.  It was only natural that we should be happy.  And, of course, only natural that you should have watched it happen.'

'So what's happened then?'' asked Draco, in a level voice.  'What happened between his coming in from the snow and arriving at supper?'

'How do you know he was out in the snow this afternoon?' demanded Ron, but Draco ignored him, and Hermione continued.

'There was a rather difficult scene, I gather,' said Hermione.  'Although I wasn't actually there.  You'll have to ask Ron.'

'OK Weasley, what happened?'

'None of your business,' snapped Ron.  'It was private between me and Harry.'

'It doesn't matter actually,' said Draco casually.  'I know what happened.  Not the detail, but certainly the main thrust of it.'

'How do you know?' asked Ron.  'What happened then, O Omniscient One?'

Draco paused.  When he answered, his voice was quieter.  'There was great hope, then a lot of tears and distress.  Then happiness, in fact joy and relief.'

'How do you know?' asked Hermione, gently.

'Because I...I felt it.'

The words hung in the air.  A step had been achieved.  Hermione looked straight at Draco.

'So.  We're getting somewhere.  How long have you been able to sense Harry's moods?'

'I'm not sure.  At first I thought I was actually feeling that bad myself, and then I gradually began to realise that what I was feeling was mixed up with what Potter was feeling, and in fact his sadness was encouraging my own.'  Draco turned away slightly, embarrassed at having made such a personal revelation.

'So Harry is genuinely happy now?' asked Ron.  'In your opinion?'

'No,' said Draco.  Ron and Hermione looked sharply at him.

'No; right now, he is asleep.' 

Draco sort of half grinned, and Ron and Hermione smiled too. 

'But,' Draco continued, 'sorry to piss on your bonfire Weasley, but although Potter certainly feels much happier now than he's recently been used to, it's not real happiness.  It's going to take more than a few tears and a hug from you to put everything right.'

'Why do you insist on calling him Potter?' snapped Ron.  'He has a name, you know.'

'My word, are you actually inviting me to address the great Harry Potter by his first name?  I'll call him what I like, Weasley; I'm in this mess, not you.'

'So you acknowledge there is a mess then?' said Hermione.

'Ha!  Everybody in the school knows Potter's been the moodiest bastard ever for ages now,' replied Draco.

'That's not what I asked,' said Hermione.  'Do you acknowledge that Harry's condition is bound up with you?'

Draco dodged the question.  'So what is this, cards-on-the-table time?'

'Yes,' said Hermione, 'let's call it that.  What do you know?'

'No way, Granger.  You first.  We both know that I am the one who is more directly concerned here.  The reason I came up here tonight is because I want to hear what you know.'

Another pause.  Ron stood close to Hermione as she began to speak.

'Essentially I - and for I read me, Ron and some of Harry's other close friends - know three things.  One, that in some cases, when two magical people fall in love, their innate magic bonds to make the love deeper, truer, more long-lasting, and that if such love is not acknowledged the individuals will be destroyed by the conflict between innate magic and psychological intent.  Two, I know that fauns can detect such magical bonding and when they do are compelled to react to it.  But they do not manufacture the love, or enhance it any way.  It is already there.  Three, I know that the afternoon of Hagrid's lesson with the fauns, your faun, Dixter, reacted to very strong chemistry between you and Harry.  Very strong indeed.  The crimson cloud in all its glory.  Red Alert, you might say.'

Draco was deathly silent.  So was Ron, even though he had already heard this from Hermione.

'They are things that I know.  In addition to that of course there are the things that I have worked out or have guessed.  First, I suspect that neither you nor Harry had any idea of this until that day.  Until the fauns of course, the emotional intensity between you burned as hatred instead.  Second, it is entirely possible that Harry still does not understand, in fact it would make sense if he didn't, as it probably explains why he clammed up and pushed us away.  If that is the case he may still hate you at this very minute, asleep or otherwise.  Third, you know much more than Harry does.  You've read the books on fauns.  Coming from a pureblood family you will know about the Crimson Cloud.  You were with Dixter yourself.  You agreed to this meeting tonight.  I suspect you know as much as us, maybe more.  And if you dare throw this back in my face and strut off without a care, I will make it my life's work to bring misery to you at every turn.  The only reason that Ron and I are here is because we love Harry, and we know that he is going to need you if he is ever going to break out of the depression he has sunk into.'

The silence was deafening. Draco shuffled his feet, and Hermione and Ron stared at him, no idea what to expect.

'You have a fine mind, Granger.  Logical, orderly, well informed.'

'Blimey,' said Ron.  'Was that a compliment?'

'Yes, I suppose it was,' sighed Draco.  'I didn't know all that, actually, Granger. I hadn't pieced together as well as you the nature of mine and Potter's history up until the lesson with the fauns.  Also I didn't know about the Crimson Cloud, and it didn't seem logical to me that Potter could possibly be unaware of all this, but, you know him better than I do, and well, he is rather stupid.'

'He is not stupid!' stormed Ron.

'Actually, Ron, in matters of emotional perception, he's as dense as they come,' said Hermione.

Draco smiled.  'That is curiously good to hear.  I thought, in fact I was hoping, that I had imagined it all.  I still would rather that it was all imaginary of course, but at least it now makes sense, knowing that Potter hasn't got a clue.'

'And he is not going to take this news well,' said Hermione.

'Hence this meeting,' said Ron.

'Hmmm,' said Draco.  'Now let me tell you a few things.  You're good, Granger, but you haven't got the full picture.  You deal in facts and intelligent guesswork well, but you may have misunderstood Potter's feelings a bit here.'

He shuffled his feet again.

'Go on then,' said Hermione.

'If we go any further, I want some assurances from you two,' said Draco sharply.

'What are they?' snapped Ron.

'Malfoy, listen,' said Hermione.  'We know.  What we know privately would be as harmful in the public arena to Harry as it would be to you.   If you are going to swear us to confidentiality, you insult us.  But that is your way, of course.'

'Actually I wasn't going to say that,' said Draco.  'Not exactly anyway.  What I mean is, this business with Potter, I haven't spoken about it to anyone.  Nobody at all.  Stated simply, I don't have anyone to talk to on that level.  And even if I did, I'm not sure I'm the kind of guy who blabs about stuff like this anyway.  But you two, however, have had each other, and your supporting cast of jolly chums from the Tower.   Your ideas are formed and have been voiced before, but I am going to try to talk about it for the first time, and to two people I dislike as well.  So, I am saying this is difficult for me.  What I want your word on, is that you won't ridicule, or mock, or disregard anything that gets said now, between us three.  It pains me to say it, but I need your support.  And in return you will get the truth.'

Ron opened his mouth but Hermione stopped him from talking by jumping in quicker.  'We understand.  It cannot have been easy for you to say that.'

'What do you mean, it cannot have been easy for him to say that he dislikes us?' roared Ron.

'Well that bit was easy of course,' said Draco smirking.  'I do dislike you.  But stop sidetracking me.  The second half of the assurance is the bit you expected, although I'm not asking for confidentiality regarding the rest of the school, the public arena as you call it; in fact I think the nature of this business is bound to get out at some time.  Too many people know already, even if Potter isn't one of them himself.  BUT.  If, after this meeting, when Slytherin v Gryffindor hostility is bound to recur, if you two ever use against me something that I am going to tell you know, I will not be held responsible for my actions.'

'Ooooh, scary,' said Ron.

'That attitude is exactly what I am talking about Weasley.  Granger, can you possibly lose your puerile sidekick and let us talk alone?'

'No,' said Hermione, forcefully.  'Ron stays.  He is effectively Harry's family.  Get used to him.  I have.'

'Thank you for that unusual vote of confidence, Hermione,' said Ron, oddly.  'If that's what it was.'

'It's difficult to be sincere with his moronic interruptions,' insisted Draco, looking straight at Hermione and trying to ignore the face Ron was pulling at him.

'If Ron finds it hard to take you seriously it is no surprise.  He has had to overcome years of ill-feeling to be here tonight.  As have I.'

'As have I,' emphasised Draco firmly.  'Before we go on, if we ever do get past the bickering, I want to make one thing very clear.  You called me here to this meeting.  I came, because I assumed correctly what you wanted to talk about.  To me it is no laughing matter.  It has been fucking intolerable living with this, and I understand it; God knows what it's been like for Potter.  But I did have a strategy of dealing with this, and I still do.  I do not need to be here.  I would like to be here, to hear what you have to say, and to talk about it.  But I do not need to be here.  And, understand this, you two: this is between Potter and me.  Exclusively.  As far as I'm concerned, you two are bystanders.  And any more fucking pratting about from you, Weasley, and I'm out the door; and I'll pick up the pieces of Potter's agony on my own.'

His voice echoed round the classroom.  And then there was silence.  Hermione spoke next.

'OK.  You have made yourself very clear.  But now I want to say something.  I am not being deliberately confrontational here, but it needs to be said.  I accept that we are not important to you.  But remember that Harry is important to us.  Right now that is a source of antagonism.  But in the future it may be that we all have to get along, so let's try and drop the antagonism now, for your sake, and for ours, and of course for Harry's.  Do we have the means to go forward now?'

'Yes,' said Ron.

'I suppose, yes,' said Draco.

'Good.  Now you said we may have misunderstood Harry's feelings a bit.  Carry on.  We won't interrupt.'

'Right.  OK.  Yes.'  Draco was flustered.  Now it came down to it, it was immensely hard to voice his feelings.  'Right.  Well, I said that you were good at facts, Granger, but not so accurate on emotions.  And you've definitely grasped most of it the same as me.  But I think you might be over exaggerating Potter's feelings a bit.  What you've got to remember, and that I think you have both sort of overlooked, is that this is, erm, well...it's love.  Which, in itself, is not a crisis.  It may have dramatic knock-on effects, like total uproar in the school when it leaks out, but it's not the crisis itself.  Ever since the day of the fauns, when I forced myself to come to terms with some really awful crap, I haven't felt the same about Potter.  I don't hate him any more, I can't hate him, and I don't want to.  Hating him now is like hating myself.'

He paused. 

'Sorry, it's not coming out in the right order.  I've never tried to explain it before, even to myself.'

'Hey, you're doing fine.  Just go on however it occurs to you,' said Hermione. 

Ron said nothing.

No, thought Draco suddenly.  No, no, no.  This is wrong.  What can they possibly understand, this pair of nobody Gryffindors?  What on earth am I doing here, divulging the most intimate secrets I possess to Granger and Weasley?

'I'm sorry,' he said abruptly.  'I can't do this.  Or rather I won't.  There is only one person I want to tell this to, and he's asleep.   And anyway he and I are nowhere near ready for this conversation yet, and it feels horribly wrong talking to you.  I know you are only here out of concern for him, but, for the same reason, I can't tell you what I feel before I've told Potter himself.'

Hermione was about to say something when he brought the meeting unequivocally to an end.

'Good night,' he said, as he turned and exited the classroom.

Hermione and Ron looked at other.

'Oh great!' said Ron.  'All that fuss and absolutely nothing achieved.'

Hermione was more thoughtful.  'I wouldn't be so sure.  We learned two very important things: one, he is human; two, he cares for Harry.  I don't think we could have hoped for much more to be honest.'

'Yeah, I suppose.  It's just feels frustrating though.'

'Well that's you all over, Ron.  You want everything sorted instantly.  Have you already forgotten that only a couple of hours ago you and Harry were still not talking?  Overall, it's been a bloody good day.  Come on, lets go and find the others.'