Wandering With Werewolves

Levon Vahanian sighed as he cleansed himself. Business was very slow in his small magic artifact shop in the small wizarding village of Iskabesgijh, and the werewolves from the next town over were acting up again. But his neighbor, ?????, had been talking about some tourists from England coming over to take the usual pictures and buy the classic souvenirs. For this occasion, Levon spent the entire morning brushing up on his English in his house, which was right above his shop. He wanted to sell as much as possible and these tourists were always easy to sway.

"How do you do?" he asked while practicing his facial expressions in front of his mirror. As he washed his face, he repeated the names of the colors.

"Purrple... orange... yellow... r-red... blue... green..."

He heard the twinkling of the door as someone opened it downstairs. He panicked, quickly dried his ace, and Apparated to his counter. There was a young person overdressed in a garish indigo robe lined with silver lace and a matching hat. Levon had a hard time figuring out if the person was a man or a woman, but then he noticed the short, blond, curly hair under the hat. It was almost definitely a male.

"Hello there!" the man (or whatever it was) shouted jovially.

"Barev dzez," Levon greeted back. He was disappointed because he expected more sophisticated customers from England. This guy looked like he was a tacky transvestite.

"Khosum es english?"

"Yes, I do speak English," Levon answered back, feeling proud of himself.

"Really? Are you, by any chance, Levon Vohanun?"

"Yes," said Levon, ignoring the butchering of his last name.

"I have heard of you!"

"Really?" Now Levon was interested in the fellow. Obviously, he knew taste if he come here for Levon's goods. "Would you like me to show you latest crystal balls?"

"No thank you. I actually came here to talk to you."

Levon furrowed his eyebrows. What was this man doing here if he did not want to buy anything?

"I have no time for chat. You want to buy something?"

"No, no, no... See, I heard about what you did for the village last winter and I wanted to ask you about it."

"Oh," Levon said, the well of pride returning to his throat. "It was nothing."

"Well, I want to write about you in my book. Can you tell me about it?"

Levon hesitated for a second. On one hand, this weird man was just wasting his time. On the other hand, maybe he could increase the future sales. For a moment, Levon relished a vision of himself with galleons rolling all over his person. He snapped back into reality.

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Just tell me about what you did...." The man pulled out a pad of paper and a fancy eagle quill.

"Well, I was walking along woods near night because I need some milk. I see dark shapes moving in woods but I just thought it was some animal like deer or something. Then I hear howl and feel scared. There were lots of werewolves here, so I feel scared. Then I see werewolf come near me and run. I run until my legs hurt. I see people running in front of me and shutting doors to be safe. I could not get into a house so I tried to run home. I fell to the ground, and found some-" Levon paused... trying to find the correct English word, "- w-wolfsbane... yes... I find wolfsbane on the ground because it grows wild and I grab some and throw it in werewolf's face. More wolves come and I try to throw into their faces too. Finally, I find no more wolfsbane and there is one wolf left. I throw my silver ring at it and it screams as it runs away. Then people come out and cheer."

The man now wore a shrewd look on his face, taking notes as Levon spoke. He looked up.

"That's all?"

"Yes."

The man now changed his expression again... now wearing something that horribly looked like disappointment. Levon felt as if there was a block of ice of his chest. The man cleared his face and smiled.

"Well thank you very much for your time."

"You are welcome. I have one question for you."

"Yes?"

"What is your name?"

The man smiled even brighter.

"My name is Gilderoy Lockhart. And I just have one last thing for you."

"Yes?"

"Oblivate!"