Moonlight

Chapter Eighteen

The First Taste of War



Remus held his baby brother, Ramirus Neal Lupin, while visiting him again at the St. Mungo's Orphanage straight after work that day. He cradled the approximately one-and-a-half-year old baby in his arms as he sat in a rocking chair in the nursery. Just like Remus had (according to their father), Ramirus too developed quickly. He had begun smiling a mere week after he'd been born, for instance. He'd learned to sit up before now, and recently, according to the medi-witch, he'd already mastered the art of "cruising".

The other orphaned babies were playing around them, paying them no attention.

Remus wasn't quite sure why he did what he did next. But for some reason, he thought that his baby brother would find it amusing. He buried his face in Ramirus' fat neck, and growled playfully, pretending to bite him, but not actually. With an odd pleasure, he heard and felt Ramirus laugh out loud. It was such a beautiful sound. He raised his head to see Ramirus wearing a huge grin, his mouth open wide as he laughed a wonderful belly laugh. He found he loved the sound of his baby brother's laughter--of any young child's laughter. The laughter of children, in his opinion, was beautiful enough to have the power to give birth to fairies.

Now Remus was about to march off to war with his friends beside him. Tonight they would be going to their first ever Order meeting, and then it would begin. Anything could happen to him tonight. He may never make it out to share another visit with his brother.

Tears threatened to fill his eyes, but he shoved them back and smiled down at Ramirus' smiling, cherubic face while his laughter subsided. "Be a good boy, Rammy," he whispered, using the nickname their father had coined for the little one.

~

Remus did something new with his journal when he got home from St. Mungo's Orphanage. Right before he and his friends were to set off for their very first Order meeting, he was at his parents' house--now his house--placing a special spell on his journal. Once he'd placed the spell upon it, he threw on his cloak, grabbed his father's old broomstick from beside the door, and left the house.

His journal meanwhile, began to record his thoughts for him as he thought them. When he would return, he would remove the spell, and open it to find a detailed record of all the events and thoughts running through his mind that would have happened while he was gone and the spell was on it. He would even be free to add any reflections on it after he'd removed the Auto-Thought-Recording Spell. Mostly he was using it to save time. But on the off-chance that he never came back, at least his baby brother would be able to read of his legacy down to the very last moment of his life.

Outside, Remus walked into the center of his front lawn and looked up into the fading summer sky. He saw four pinpricks against the pale blue, and saw that they were growing bigger and bigger. Faintly he heard the sound of an engine growing louder and louder. He furrowed his brow, confused.

Gradually the shapes became clearer and clearer and more defined. And then they were there, landing on his front lawn, whooping and laughing: James on his Nimbus 1000, Lily on a broomstick of her own that James had bought for her with some of the gold in his Gringotts vault (also a Nimbus 1000), Peter on his Cleansweep, and Sirius on--

A flying motorcycle?

The roaring engine died as Sirius killed it, the grin on his face broad and shining. "What do you think, mate?" he said, sitting back on the seat. He was sporting his favorite set of black dragon skin robes and pair of black dragon skin boots. "Got it to fly finally!"

"I can see that!" said Remus, impressed. He raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're not worried about getting in trouble with the Misuse of Muggle Artifact's Office at the Ministry?"

"Nope," said Sirius flatly, folding his arms.

Remus looked over at his friends, and they just laughed and shook their heads.

Sirius reached up and began chewing on a nail.

"What's with the nail-chewing?" Remus asked.

Sirius took the nail out of his mouth. "Er...."

"Sirius had to quit smoking," James said. "It's against Ministry policy for an Auror or an Auror-in-training to smoke." He glanced over at Sirius.

Sirius chuckled nervously. "Erm...yeah. Well...I figure, if I'm going to risk getting in trouble with this motorbike, then erm...I might as well follow the rest of the rules."

"We'd better get going," said Peter, looking shiftily around at the skies.

"Right," said Sirius, kicking the engine of his motorcycle to life.

Remus swung his leg over his father's old broomstick--a Silver Arrow--now his--and kicked off the ground with the others, Sirius' motorcycle roaring into the air behind them.

~

As Remus, James, Lily, and Peter all flew on their broomsticks, and Sirius on his motorcycle, to Order Headquarters at Elphias Doge's manor house, Remus was thinking about their days spent in defense against the dark arts classes at school. Every year their teachers were always different (there were rumors the job was jinxed). However, Remus and his friends had excelled in that course, sometimes even better than the Ravenclaws did. For instance, in their seventh year, they were the first ones in their class to achieve producing corporeal patronuses. No other student had ever managed to do so at such a young age. Most witches and wizards learned about it in seventh year, but then had to keep working at it for a year or two beyond school before they could get it right.

"Expecto Patronum!" Severus had exclaimed as he stood in the large space that had been cleared in the defense against the dark arts classroom by pushing all of the desks up against the wall. Only a mere puff of wispy, silvery smoke sprang from the end of his wand, however.

Severus looked pleadingly over his shoulder at that year's defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor McKinnon, a beautiful, dark-haired young witch that Sirius admitted to having a small crush on. Obviously Sirius had begun to develop a taste for older women. She smiled encouragingly at Severus and said, "Don't worry, Severus, you'll get it. Keep working at it...."

Just as Severus was doing, everyone else was up on their feet, spread out through the empty space of the room, trying to produce patronuses. Only little silvery wisps were popping up everywhere.

Remus was over with his friends, with James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter, and he was trying to think of the happiest thing he could think of. Unfortunately, a lot of the happy memories he was trying to come up with just weren't powerful enough. His friends were having just as much trouble. Before coming to class that day, Remus had been reading up a lot on patronuses. He had read that not only could they be used for their prime purpose, which was to shield their casters from dementors, but could also be used to send messages. He'd read extensively on the theory, and he was eager to get a full-body patronus so that he could start working on that as well. His friends had the same goal, because they knew that being able to send patronus-messages would come in handy when they were in the Order.

He had also read something else that had made him a bit nervous. He'd read that sometimes when a witch or wizard was pining for someone they were in love with, but didn't have them for themselves, their patronuses would take the form of the patronus that belonged to the person for whom they were pining. Even if their form was already fixed, if they became enamored with someone who wasn't theirs to have and hold to the point that they would start to come down with a bad case of lovesickness, then their current patronus would simply change to take the form of the patronus that belonged to the one they loved but did not have.

The reason this made him nervous was because: what if his patronus turned out to be the same as Lily's? What if he didn't even get his own fixed patronus, and right from the start he had the same one as Lily, because he'd been in love with her but could never have her long before he'd ever tried producing a patronus. If his turned out to be the same as hers, then anyone who knew about patronuses well enough might be able to figure out his secret love for her. It would be especially bad now that Lily was James' girlfriend....

"Expecto Patronum!" shouted James for what may have been the millionth time. This time however, no wisps came out: instead, a huge, bright silver stag erupted from the end of his wand, leapt into the air, and landed upon its hooves in the middle of the circle that the five friends had made in their corner of the classroom.

"Excellent, mate!" said Sirius.

"Well done, Prongs," said Remus.

Peter was clapping excitedly.

Professor McKinnon was excited too. As soon as James' full-body patronus sprang into the room, she gave a cry of delight and hurried over to them. "See here, class! James has done it! Notice how his patronus is a clear, defined form of an animal? Sirius, you try next."

"Expecto Patronum!" Sirius exclaimed. A great silver shaggy dog exploded from the end of his wand, and came to stand by the silver stag.

"Oh, this is absolutely wonderful!" Professor McKinnon laughed. "This has never happened before in a Hogwarts defense class! Well done! Anyone else care to give it a try? Peter, how about you?"

"Er...alright. Expecto Patronum!" His patronus was so surprisingly small that for a moment, no one thought he'd actually managed to create a full-body one, because it almost just seemed like another puff of wispy smoke.

But then Lily said, "No, look! There it is!"

Snickers went around the room when they saw it, and James, Sirius, and Remus were fighting a great burst of laughter, because right there next to the stag and the dog was Peter's patronus: a silver rat.

Peter went scarlet in the face.

Professor McKinnon's laughter subsided, and then she said, "And how about you, Lily? Do you think you could do it?"

"I think so, professor," said Lily pleasantly. "Expecto Patronum!" Everyone watched as a huge silver doe blossomed from the end of her wand, sailed through the air, and came to land beside the stag.

There was an amused murmuring amongst the rest of the class, and one girl said, "Oooh, the stag's got himself a doe! That's so cute!"

Remus wasn't paying too much attention though. He thought that doe was the most beautiful patronus he had ever seen. He was pulled from his trance however when he heard Professor McKinnon address him.

"Remus? Would you care to try?"

"Erm...yes, ma'am." He took a deep breath, and held his wand out steady before him. All the time they had been trying to produce patronuses he had been trying to use his memories of Lily kissing him. He tried with the first time they kissed, but that memory wasn't exactly happy: most of the time he'd been distraught, and then when he was happy, Lily had already kissed him. It was too fleeting of a happiness to be powerful enough for a patronus. Then the other time she had kissed him, that had been quite wonderful, but unfortunately Remus had gone and ruined it by calling it off before it had even begun. Overall, that memory only brought him sadness. His memories of Lily, it seemed, were only making him feel terrible, because he loved her so much, but it was too late now to try and get her back...and he knew it was best that he didn't have her anyway....

His heart pounded. He was so afraid that when--if--he managed to produce his patronus, it would emerge as a great big silver doe, just like Lily's, and then anyone who knew about patronus nature would know. Even if they didn't, in fact, everyone would probably still have an idea as to what it could mean....

James would know....

James would kill him.

Clutching the handle of his wand, he delved further into his memory, and he thought of his very first train ride to Hogwarts....

...James grinned and said, "Hey, Remus, these sweets aren't just for us two lovebirds over here."

"What?" said Remus.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "You can have some of it too. As much we'd like to think we could, I don't think just us two could eat the whole lot.... C'mon, Remus, we don't bite," he added laughingly.

"I didn't think you did," he said meekly. "I just...."

"You just what?" asked James.

"I just...." Remus looked up at him and Sirius, who were beaming back, without a trace of loathing or suspicion in their eyes. "Thanks," he said softly....

As happiness swelled inside Remus like a balloon, he cried: "Expecto Patronum!" A large, furry, four-legged something burst from the end of his wand and leapt through the air. When it landed and joined the stag, the doe, the dog, and the rat, Remus got a good look at it, and his heart pounded, if possible, even harder.

"Looks like another dog," said a Slytherin boy.

"No, it's a wolf," said Sirius. He, James, Peter, and Lily all glanced at Remus significantly.

Remus watched his wolf patronus as it joined the other patronuses in the middle of their circle, and then faded away with them, vanishing into hazes of smoke, and then, nothing. In time though, Remus learned to embrace the form his patronus had taken. At any rate, it wasn't Lily's, although that fact sort of perplexed him. He pined for her, like no other, but she wasn't his. He had the qualifications for his patronus to manifest itself into a silver doe.

But it was a wolf...it was the wolf...his wolf....

What could that mean...?

The wind whipped through Remus' hair as he followed his friends over the countryside to Doge's. He continued sifting through his mind for more memories. Despite the disappointment and curiosity of that day he'd first produced his full-body patronus, he was proud that he was among the first still in school to succeed in producing one.

His parents would've been proud too....

Just as they had been proud how good of a stunner he and his friends were, how good of a jinxer, how good of a hexer...how good he'd been with not only non-verbal spells with a wand, but the non-verbal spells he'd been able to do for his wandless magic, which was why he'd been so good at non-verbal spells with a wand....

He looked around at his friends as they sped through the evening air alongside him. Each and every one of them--James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter--smiled when he caught their eye, and he smiled in return.

"Alright there, Remus?" James asked, shouting over the loud, high wind rushing past their ears.

"Brilliant!" Remus shouted in reply. "You?"

"Ditto!"

"Are we there yet?" yelled Peter.

"Keep your knickers on, Peter!" Sirius yelled back. "Remus! You're not too tired, are you? Only three days until full moon!"

"No, I'm fine! But thanks for asking!"

"You sure?" That was Lily.

Remus looked over his shoulder at her as she rode behind him. "Yeah, I'm sure!"

Lily beamed. "We wouldn't want you falling off your broom!"

Remus rolled his eyes and returned to concentrating on what was ahead of him as he flew with the others.

~

They arrived just as the meeting was about to start. Sirius killed the engine on his motorcycle the moment he landed. The front door opened, and there stood Albus Dumbledore. "Come in, come in, come in quick!" he beckoned. "Sirius, you can just wheel that into the bushes there," he added, indicating Sirius' motorcycle and then the bushes beneath the front room window. Sirius did so quickly and then followed the others. Dumbledore stepped aside to let them all march inside with their broomsticks. "Let me take your broomsticks, I'll put them in the closet. I hope you have your names on them."

Luckily they did. Once, Dumbledore sent their broomsticks to the guest closet, he brought them to the dining room, where they were having the meeting. There were a lot of people there. In fact, there wasn't enough room at the long, enormous dining table to fit everyone there. Some people had to stand. Therefore, Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter had to as well, because there were no dining table seats left. There was only one empty chair, at the head of the long table, and that seat was for Dumbledore.

"They're here," he announced. Apparently they'd been anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new Order members. He moved through to the opposite end of the room and sat in his chair at the head of the table.

Remus heard James whisper: "Hey, that's Frank and Alice Longbottom." He pointed them out, and Remus saw them, among the youths of the group who agreed to stand during the meeting, their faces bright and full of rosy life, Alice Longbottom's round, Frank's ovular. "Sirius and I are two of their protégés at the Ministry, for our Auror training. They're both full Aurors."

"Two of the best Aurors we've ever seen," Sirius added. "But not as good as--Mad-Eye Moody! James, look! It's Mad-Eye Moody!"

"Oh yeah!" James said excitedly, seeing Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody standing there in a corner of his own, leaning on a walking stick. A large, electric blue magical eye was whizzing like mad in one of his eye sockets. The other eye was his own, normal one. The magical eye found the five youths staring at him, and he seemed to be examining them to make sure they weren't imposters.

"I don't believe it," Lily breathed. "That's Alastor Moody!"

Dumbledore had managed to make his way through the crowded room to the opposite end, whereupon he sat down in his chair at the head of the table.

Everyone in the room ceased chattering the moment he'd settled in and fixed them all with his lucid blue gaze.

"Right," he said when there was absolute silence. "So, here we are again. Let us commence tonight's meeting. First, and foremost, I'd like you all to quickly introduce yourselves, because I am now going to introduce you to our five newest members, and all of them fresh from their seventh year at Hogwarts." He gestured towards the corner by the door where Remus and his friends were gathered. "May I present: James Potter--" James gave an enthusiastic wave, his smile confident and relaxed "--Sirius Black--" Sirius acted just like James "--Remus Lupin--" Remus waved sheepishly, though he didn't feel the usual heat of embarrassment rise in his face when he was confronted by a large group of people "--Lily Evans--" Lily gave a little wave, smiling brightly "--and Peter Pettigrew--" Peter chuckled nervously and managed a little wave as well. "Now if we could quickly go around and have everyone say their name. Shall we start with you, Alastor?"

"They know me," growled Mad-Eye. "Or at least, young Black and Potter do. They're in Auror training, at the moment. And don't worry: I've already checked them. They're not imposters." Addressing Remus, Lily, and Peter, he added, "Alastor Moody, if you didn't already know."

"Thank you, Alastor," said Dumbledore serenely. He nodded to the person next to Mad-Eye.

"Dedalus Diggle!" squeaked a man in a bowler.

"They know me too," said the woman beside him, whom Remus and his friends immediately recognized as the defense against the dark arts teacher they'd had that very year: Marlene McKinnon. "No need to call me Professor McKinnon anymore though," she chuckled. "As we're comrades now, feel free to call me Marlene."

"Quickly now," said Dumbledore, a slightly impatient edge to his otherwise calm voice.

"They already know us too," said Frank Longbottom with a grin.

"James and Sirius do, anyhow," added his wife, Alice, beaming. "We see them at Auror training as well. But I'll bet they've told Remus and Lily and Peter about us."

The Longbottoms waved merrily, and James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Peter waved merrily back.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and the introduction continued down the line.

"Emmeline Vance," said a young witch, nodding.

"Benjamin Fenwick," smiled a young wizard. "Most people call me Benjy."

"Rhona Kinnaird," grinned the young, fresh-faced brunette witch beside him. "Also known as Benjy's fiancée," she added with an affectionate glance at Benjy, who returned her look of love and put his arm around her.

"Ewan Hunter," said the next wizard in line pleasantly, brown haired and looking to be about forty years old, and then proceeding to bite a nail, which gave everyone in the room a clear view of the wedding ring on the third finger.

"Edgar Bones," beamed another forty-year-old-looking wizard. "My dear little sister Amelia's working at the Ministry, and in charge of caring for our mother at the moment: otherwise, she'd be here with us."

"And we're their cousins," piped up the middle-aged witch beside him, who was accompanied by a wizard about the same age. "I'm Arcadia Bones, and this is my brother, Liberius."

Liberius Bones inclined his head, and then he nudged the wizard falling asleep beside him.

"Wh-What? Oh...er...Sturgis Podmore."

The wizard on his other side rolled his eyes, and then smiled at the five youths. "Caradoc Dearborn."

"Aindrea MacMillan," said the cherry-cheeked witch beside him.

"Hagrid!" Lily exclaimed happily.

Rubeus Hagrid, the Hogwarts Gamekeeper, winked at them.

"We've already met!" squeaked Elphias Doge.

"Gideon Prewitt," said the young wizard beside Doge with a grin. He looked only a few years older than Remus and his friends. "And this is my kid brother, Fabian."

The younger wizard next to Gideon blushed. "Gideon..." he said. But he was grinning at Remus and his friends too.

Aberforth Dumbledore simply nodded curtly.

The witch beside him shook her head at him, as though she was a bit tired of Aberforth's taciturnity towards new members, and then, smiling at Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter, said, "Dorcas Meadowes, at your service."

The young curly-haired witch next to her beamed. "Séarlait Corcoran," she greeted brightly.

Beside her, at the end of the line, were three auburn-haired, pallid-skinned youths, each looking no older than thirty: two witches, and a wizard. One of the witches spoke first. "Aingeal Brennan," she said with a grin. "And my little brother, Ruarc,"--the wizard waved--"and our cousin, Fíona--" the other, slightly younger-seeming witch waved as well "--on our dad's side."

"That's everyone, right?" Dumbledore quickly surveyed the room until he was satisfied that everyone had introduced themselves. "Excellent! Now we may really get down to business! Alastor, how is recalling all of your Aurors who are currently abroad?"

"The first of them already arrived this morning, and they were supposed to be here as well. Young Rhiannon Jernigan--"

Just then, through the window, there flew a streak of silver. When the flying silver creature landed in the center of the long table and stilled, everyone saw that it was a skylark. Once it landed, it opened its beak and spoke in a young woman's voice:

"They are on the move. Their aim is Muggle torture. Follow my patronus." Unlike most messenger patronuses, which disappeared once they'd finished their message, this one remained visible, so that those receiving the message who volunteered to go and answer its call could follow it.

Everyone stared.

Remus stared around at the others, and they looked just as clueless as he did. At the very least, they were glad they'd taught themselves how to send messages via patronus. They could already see that it really was a handy thing to be able to do.

"That was her," growled Mad-Eye. "Rhiannon Jernigan. She obviously came across some Death Eaters on her way here, and decided to see what they were up to. I'd filled the Aurors abroad on as much as I could about what's been going on since they left, and about how much we really need their help now, how things are becoming more dire by the minute and we need all of the aid we can get on our side."

"Who among us is willing to go and follow this patronus to its messenger?" Dumbledore asked.

"Don't forget, it could be a trap," Mad-Eye added. "They could have captured the lass and then made her send this message to lure in members of the Order."

"Very good point, Alastor," said Dumbledore, nodding. "Nevertheless, we cannot ignore this."

"How many do you think Rhiannon will need, Albus?" Marlene McKinnon asked.

"I am not certain. Who are the Death Eaters behind the recent Muggle torture campaign, according to our information?" Dumbledore inquired of Emmeline Vance.

Emmeline replied, "So far we have them pinned down as Bellatrix Lestrange, Regulus Black--" Remus felt Sirius bristle at these two names "--Rudolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Walden Macnair, Silas Crabbe, Evan Rosier, Lucius Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov, Cyrus Goyle, Severus Snape--one of their more recent recruits--" James and Sirius both bristled, and Lily shifted slightly "--and Igor Karkaroff--one of their foreign allies. All together that's...twelve Death Eaters in total."

"Very well then," said Dumbledore. "In that case, we will need all of the help we can get. I am therefore willing to lead in a squad of volunteers...er...ten, at the very least, but more is of course, helpful."

"I'll take them, Albus," rumbled Aberforth. "If you'll recall, you have another crucial assignment to attend to this evening. Anyway...you tend to get young ones killed when you're doing the fighting." His tone was almost taunting.

Remus and his friends looked around at each other, not comprehending the meaning of Aberforth's words.

Albus Dumbledore's knuckles went as white as his face. It seemed to be taking all of his willpower not to respond to that. "Very well then," he said with a forced calm. "Who among us is willing to follow my brother on the path that this patronus--" He indicated the still and defined skylark patronus on the table "--will lead?"

Remus was eager to go. Now that there were Death Eaters to be fought, he'd felt a resurgence of his desire to avenge the deaths of his parents at the hands of those dark-marked murderers. So, when Dumbledore asked for volunteers just then, without thought, Remus shot his hand up into the air. It was only after he'd done so that he noticed that every single person in the room (aside from the Dumbledore brothers and Sturgis Podmore) also raised their hand, including his own four friends standing beside him, with him.

"Sturgis, why in blazes ain't you raising your hand?" barked Mad-Eye.

"I'm on another assignment tonight!" Sturgis replied, affronted. "I'm on the assignment with Albus! I'm his cover! And Hagrid can't go either, he's on the same assignment!" He glanced at Hagrid, and Hagrid sheepishly lowered his large, trashcan-lid-sized hand.

Mad-Eye accepted Sturgis' reasoning but not without palpable disgruntlement.

"The newbies want to go as well," chuckled Benjy Fenwick.

"Nah, c'mon yeh five," Hagrid grunted. "Don't be foolish now."

"Hagrid, we joined the Order to fight, not to be shielded from it and just watch," said James fiercely.

Mad-Eye, who could apparently already sense an argument, said imperiously, "Listen, we're wasting precious time. Let's give the five new ones a chance. We do this every time we have new members and they're young." His gaze passed over such members as the Prewitt brothers and Marlene McKinnon and Benjy. But only briefly. Then he continued. "If we keep them out of this one, we'll just keep wanting to do it the next time, and the next time. I say this every time you know! So, here are the people raising their hands are the ones who are going with Aberforth, and nobody's going to make any bones about it. You hear?"

Everyone nodded without the slightest protest.

"Right," said Aberforth with a nod. "Let's move out, then."

~

They followed the skylark patronus to its owner, Rhiannon Jernigan. She was a freckled young witch with copper hair tied back in a ponytail. She was hiding out on the edge of the Muggle village, and gave them all a quiet welcome as they slipped into her campsite.

"They're moving out and heading into the town," she whispered. She silently pushed a tree branch aside.

Remus peered with the others to see a dark line of shapes move like a slithering black snake towards the unsuspecting village.

Aberforth, who was leading them as he'd said he would, gave a nod to them all, and signaled for them to fan out. They would follow the Death Eaters unseen, and then try to take them by surprise before they had a chance to launch their attack on the sleeping Muggle citizens of the village.

It was decided that they would split-off into pairs. James was paired with Benjy, Sirius with Gideon, Lily with Gideon's little brother Fabian, Peter with Caradoc, Mad-Eye with Rhiannon, Dedalus with Alice, Frank with Emmeline, Edgar with Aberforth, Elphias with Dorcas, Aingeal with Tiernan, Fíona with Séarlait, Ruarc with Aindrea, Arcadia with Ewan, Liberius with Rhona, and Remus with Marlene. And then they dispersed. Silencer Spells were then placed on their feet and cloaks so that the leaves on the forest floor would not rustle and twigs would not make a snapping sound as they moved through the trees.

As Remus made his way with Marlene, sneaking through the dark underbrush, he began to feel not just a knot in his bowels. While the knot quickened his breath and made the acids in his stomach flutter and churn, he felt another sensation...a sensation of closeness to his own body. A voice he did not recognize kept whispering softly, comfortingly, in his ears, You might die tonight...you might die tonight.... His perception of everything around him heightened. The grass smelled sweeter than ever, the breezes kissed him, and the trees spoke, their wood smell deep and wonderful and reminded him of the trees around his home...where he grew up as a boy...where he lived alone now....

In approaching his very possible death, he'd never felt more alive in his life.

When he and Marlene paused upon nearing their targets--the Death Eaters traveling along the forest path--then something he couldn't see and didn't hear brush his hand. He sucked in his breath, but realized in the next moment that it was just Marlene's gentle fingertips. He looked up at her, his old and former defense against the dark arts teacher.

She smiled, her face framed by her raven-black hair.

He thought of his parents...and of Ramirus...and of his friends...James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter....

He swallowed and smiled back.

Then he and she both turned and faced the passing line of Death Eaters on the path.

"Halt!" called a voice coming from the head of the line.

The line stopped, without any shuffling--like trained, synchronized soldiers.

A breeze blew through...tossing leaves...fluttering cloaks....

Remus shivered. He and Marlene watched the others. They could see Sirius and Gideon in the trees a little ways away.

Gideon laid a finger aside of his nose.

Remus looked from Gideon to Marlene.

Marlene nodded, and unsheathed her wand.

Remus withdrew his own, and raised it with hers.

"STUPEFY!" they shouted together, along with the twenty-eight voices of the others casting the exact same spell.

One Death Eater who was a second too slow to react went down, but the others managed to either cast a Shield Charm in time, or duck and cast spells of their own.

"IT'S THE ORDER!" one of them shouted.

Spells began flying in all directions. Parts of tree trunks were blown off into bits, people jumped out of the way, smoke began to cloud the air, Marlene disappeared from Remus' side to chase a Death Eater.

Remus shot another Stunner at the Death Eater who'd shouted, not caring who it was, except that they were a Death Eater.

The Death Eater managed to dive out of the way and the spell blasted the tree behind him instead. Meanwhile, as Remus' target dived they cried out, "GET TO THE VILLAGE!"

"STOP THEM!" Aberforth yelled as the Death Eaters began to run up the path towards the village.

The Order members jumped on the path, where it was clearer and therefore it would allow them to catch up faster, and tailed the Death Eaters, shooting Stunner after Stunner after Stunner at them.

Aberforth shouted something indistinct, and slashed at the air with his wand, as though he were cracking a whip, and he directed it at the village.

A wall of fire rose up from the ground right in the Death Eaters' path. They skidded to a halt, and then the leader shouted, "GO AROUND IT!" But when they tried, the fire would sneak ahead of them, keeping the wall growing and expanding to continually block them out. They had no choice but to turn and fight.

Remus rushed at them along with everyone else, all of them shouting more and more Stunners, as well as a variety of other jinxes and hexes.

The moment the Death Eaters turned however, they did not hesitate to start spewing spells of their own. By now the Order was close enough that the moonlight easily showed to them who was who amongst their ranks.

Many of them shot jets of red light--the ones that Remus recognized from his sixth-year defense book as being extremely fatal if they hit you in a vital place, like squarely in the chest, behind which the heart was beating. Knowing this automatically, he automatically ducked the one coming at him.

"Crucio!" cried a woman's voice--the voice of Sirius' cousin Bellatrix Lestrange.

Someone screamed, and half the Order was being pushed back, because the Death Eaters had turned positively ruthless.

Remus tripped up and fell. A flash of light headed straight for the bridge of his nose. A heavy body fell on him. The sky and the forest and the path whirled as one as he tumbled out of the curse's path...all the way off the path and into the trees. Then he was flat on his stomach again.

His rescuer staggered off of him, clutching the side of their face. In the moonbeams filtering through the trees, Remus recognized the person as Séarlait Corcoran, and she was bleeding profusely from her ear.

"Séarlait!" he croaked.

"I'm fine, Remus!" she shouted breathlessly, leaning against a tree. "I'll be fine! Get back out there! I'm right behind you!" Her face shined green for a moment, from a green light that had come from the path.

The Killing Curse....

Remus ran back towards the battle on the uphill path and didn't look back. Stunners began streaming from his mouth and out the end of his wand before he even stepped out onto it, and when he did, he tripped over something heavy.

It was a body.

He whipped around, crouched on his knees in the dust of the road, and saw that it was young Ruarc Brennan...pale...dead...completely still, aside from his auburn hair shivering in the breeze....

"IMPEDIMENTA!" Remus roared with an explosion of rage inside his chest, and he hit the Death Eater Igor Karkaroff square in the chest.

Igor went flying and landed smash into a tree. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

As Remus scrambled to his feet, Remus got a glimpse of the battle at hand: several other bodies littered the ground, and none of them were wearing Death Eaters' robes...Benjy and Dedalus were blasted back by Bellatrix and smashed into trees, falling unconscious like Igor, and Sirius roared a magnificent jinx right back at her, and the two of them became locked in a duel, which Regulus joined and so now Sirius was battling the two of them at once...but several more bodies had fallen since...whether dead or alive, Remus could not tell...James was locked in a duel with Severus...Lily was hurling hex after hex at Rudolphus, who easily matched her in skill, and dodged and each every one of her hexes while shouting ones of his own, which she had to duck while still trying to maintain something of an offensive position...Peter was dueling Rabastan, though squealing with every other spell...Mad-Eye dueled with Walden Macnair...Aberforth with Silas Crabbe...Fabian with Evan Rosier...Gideon with Lucius...Caradoc with Cyrus Goyle...Marlene, coming to Sirius' aid and taking on Regulus.... And then Gideon fell nearby, and Remus raised his wand at Lucius, but Aingeal beat him to it and blasted Lucius back, knocking him out cold. Then Marlene went down and Regulus aimed his wand at Aingeal.

"Avad--!"

"SCOURGIFY!" Remus bellowed, and the soap suds filling Regulus' mouth caused him to choke and gag, cutting him off in mid-speech so that he couldn't finish the spell.

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

Regulus flew back and was knocked out cold as he too was slammed into a tree, and fell limply on top of Igor.

"Thanks, Remus!" Aingeal gasped. But as soon as she spoke, her eyes went wide, and she appeared to have seen something over Remus' shoulder.

Remus had a feeling--no, he knew what she was seeing.

"RUARC!" she screamed, scrambling past Remus to Ruarc's body behind him.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Remus looked round, prepared for his death because of his carelessness at being distracted by Aingeal's pain, with which he empathized to a point, making it harder for him not to be distracted...as she shrieked and wailed and clutched her baby brother's dead body....

But instead the flash of green had taken another body, which fell just a few feet away from him, right before his and Aingeal's eyes....

It was Fíona Brennan, her and Ruarc's cousin, lying spread-eagled...and dead.

Aingeal's shrieking voice died in her throat, and her glistening eyes widened. "No..." she choked.

The Death Eater who had killed Fíona stood there and laughed. It was Antonin. Antonin Dolohov. Remus remembered him from that one time he'd tried to kill him at school as a first-year....

Remus raised his wand, but Aingeal, like before with Lucius, beat him to it. She roared, "Crucio!" with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Antonin staggered, slightly surprised, but he did not fall to his knees in pain. And then he brought up his wand in an odd slashing movement.

Remus threw himself at Aingeal as a streak of purple came down upon her. He himself felt it brush against his cheek like a blunt knife, but he did not get the full blast of it...he heard Aingeal cry out in pain though....

And then she was writhing beneath him as they fell to the ground. He staggered off...had he not been quick enough...?

He turned her over....

She gasped in excruciating pain, clutching at her chest, her eyes wide as she stared up at Remus....

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out, his heart squeezing and his eyes stinging inexplicably. "I tried...you'll be okay...!"

Aingeal, in too much pain, her eyes wet, shook her head vigorously, her chest heaving. And then the light in her eyes flickered out. She went limp, her last breath expelling itself from her body drawn-out and winded....

Tears blurred Remus' vision. He glared up at Antonin, who was laughing even harder now, and with even more cruelty....

"CRUCIO!" he screamed.

Antonin easily deflected it, and then repaid him in kind. "Crucio!" he shouted, with a mad laugh.

Remus felt the Cruciatus Curse for the first time. His body tensed up automatically as the pain entered inside of him...through him...and yet...he was finding it...rather...endurable...it hurt, oh yes, that was certain...but the throes he was going through now...were nothing compared to the pain that made his body convulse every full moon when he transformed into a werewolf....

He gritted his teeth as he curled on the ground, but the pain could not blind him as it did to other innocent Cruciatus victims. He knew far worse pain, and so this kind of a pain was a bit of a cinch for him to withstand.... He glared as Antonin loomed over him, his pale, twisted face twisted even more as it became bent with slight confusion.

"What's this?" he breathed. "You're not screaming and flailing in agony, begging me to stop...? You don't find the lovely Cruciatus deliciously torturous?"

"I've had worse," Remus growled.

"Have you now?"

"Every full moon."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm a werewolf, you bastard!"

"Wait a minute...." Antonin touched his nose. "No wonder it's been prickling like mad!" And then he bent to peer at Remus' face, and his wicked smile crept back onto his awful, twisted visage. "Oh-ho-ho! I remember you! The last time I saw you, you were eleven years old, and I was about to have the pleasure of killing you, Remus Lupin!" He straightened and kicked Remus in the side.

Remus sucked in his breath, groaning.

Antonin lifted the Cruciatus off of him. "Too bad no one's here to save your neck this time," he sneered. "Not even your filth-blooded father...or your stupid Muggle mother--"

The dormant wolf inside Remus awoke, heart bursting with rage, and he roared: "CRUC--!" but was cut off by Antonin shouting it faster than him, and more apt to perform the desired effect, because he, unlike Remus, had no heart at all.

Again, it wasn't pain that was nearly as bad as what Remus went through during his transformations, but it still wasn't enjoyable. He shrank back on the ground, grinding his teeth against it.

Antonin bent over him, so that he could speak more quietly. "Do you know...I would've thought my thirst to avenge my father's crippling would have been satisfied with their deaths...but it seems I still have a hunger to make you pay too...and your little brother...."

"You stay away from him!" Remus snarled.

Antonin grinned evilly. "I was very distraught that your parents were prepared with an amulet to protect your dear sibling from harm...even though they could not have been expecting me at all that day...."

Then Antonin's words began to sink in more...and Remus realized....

"It was YOU! YOU MURDERED MY PARENTS!"

"That's right!" laughed Antonin. "And do you know who helped me track them down? It was none other than the very same werewolf that bit you!"

"What?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you under the impression that the werewolf that bit you would be something of a...kindred spirit? Well, I'm afraid you're highly mistaken. Do you know who that werewolf was? Why, it was dear old Fenrir Greyback, of course."

"Wait...no...not...?" Remus' eyes widened. He'd heard stories of this Fenrir Greyback, but he'd never really thought much of him. He'd never really thought he'd been a real person. But now.... "Not...?" Remus' voice was hoarse. "The Child Biter?"

"The very same! Fenrir Greyback, most vicious of all of the werewolves in Great Britain, also known as The Child Biter! And he bit you for a very personal reason, so in his view, you should feel honored. You see, your dear father the watch-maker gravely offended Fenrir in his shop, and so Fenrir decided to take revenge by getting to your poor father's heart...and biting his only son...cursing him forever...."

So that was why...John Lupin had always acted...so guilty.... He blamed himself...because he'd offended Fenrir.... He'd wondered...there'd been a news clipping about it...the matter had been trivial...hadn't it...? Fenrir had had no right...he'd been acting on impulse...he'd deserved to be insulted...his father should never have been ashamed of offending him...even if it had resulted in Remus catching lycanthropy...because it was no more than Fenrir had deserved....

But now his father was dead...and Remus couldn't tell him...he needn't have felt so guilty all this time....

And it was because of Antonin Dolohov, standing over him now, that his father and his mother were both dead...and he was planning to go after Ramirus....

Remus could not let that happen.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed. The pain from the Cruciatus Curse lifted even though Antonin had not lifted it himself. He blinked, and paid for this momentary hesitation as Remus brought down curse after curse upon him.

He leapt onto his feet, and soon the both of them were locked in a duel to the death, shouting hexes and jinxes and curses.

"Expelliarmus!"

Remus' wand went flying out his hand. Dammit!

And then Antonin prepared another one of his slashing spells...the one that had killed Aingeal, and given her so much agony in dying during her final moments....

Remus dived...grabbed his wand--"Petrificus Totalus!"

Antonin froze in mid-spell, and the purple streak of flame that had been forming, disappeared. As he fell back like a stiff board, the feeble beginnings of the spell smacked Remus in the cheek anyway, and he felt his skin sear, and then something cool and wet.... He fell to his knees and clutched at his face. The half-spell had still managed to cut a shallow slash in the right side of his face.... That curse--which appeared to be Antonin's personal specialty--was a dangerous thing.

Remus' heart was pounding wildly against his ribcage.

"ANTONIN'S DOWN! WE HAVE TO RETREAT!" shouted Bellatrix.

In a flash the Death Eaters grabbed their fallen comrades--all of whom were merely unconscious and not dead--and Disapparated as one before any of the dazed Order members could stop them. The orange glow of the wall of fire disappeared as Aberforth recalled the spell.

"Remus?" whispered a voice that made Remus' heart leap to hear it.

"Lily!" He looked up to see her silhouette moving towards him. She knelt beside him, and in the moonlight he saw her more clearly.

"Here, I've got some dittany for that wound...."

"A-Are you alright?" he asked awkwardly as she applied dittany to his bleeding cheek.

"A few scrapes, but nothing serious."

"And James? And Sirius? And Peter?"

"All fine."

"Thank God." Remus sighed as Lily finished healing his wound. He felt the blood stop and disappear. His face was dry now, but there was some clotting and scarring. And then his relief for hearing that his best friends were okay was replaced by a heavy sense of despair and grief. "Lily...the Brennans.... They're dead...."

Lily's eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh no.... Not...all of them...?"

"Yes...I-I saw it. Ruarc fell dead near me...after I saved Aingeal...she went over to him...and then Fíona fell...and Aingeal was--she tried to--but Antonin got her...I tried to--I wasn't quick enough...." His hollow voice broke. He wanted to cry. He felt bad enough inside to cry...and yet he couldn't. There was just this terrible sadness...filling up...eating up his insides....

Lily was shaking with crying. Nothing loud though. Just the chest-chokes.

Remus helped her to her feet, and they walked together to the rest of the group.

Fabian was kneeling beside Gideon, trying to revive him from his state of unconsciousness. "C'mon, Giddy," he coaxed.

Gideon groaned.

"Giddy?" Fabian sounded hopeful.

Gideon did not open his eyes. He did however speak in a hoarse voice. "Don't...call me...Giddy...."

Fabian laughed and buried his face in his brother's chest. "I'm sorry, big bro. I won't ever call you that again.... Ha-ha!"

Others among the unconscious were Marlene, Dedalus, Alice, Frank, Emmeline, Elphias, Dorcas, and Rhiannon. There was also Arcadia, Edgar and Benjy, both of whom had just come around and were sitting up, moaning and holding hands on their heads. Caradoc was sitting with them, while he tended to Séarlait, who was conscious, but the side of her face was crusted with clotted blood.

And then there came the dead, laid out in a row along the side of the path.

First the Brennans--Aingeal, Fíona, and Ruarc--and then there was Aindrea MacMillan.... And then beside her, Mad-Eye laid down yet another body: Liberius Bones. He had just brought him from out of the trees.

"Wait a minute...Edgar...Edgar--that's--Liberius!" Arcadia scrabbled to her feet.

Caradoc called after her, and so did Edgar, though he scrabbled to his feet as well.

Both of them stumbled to where Mad-Eye had laid down Liberius' body.

"No...!" Arcadia fell to her knees beside her brother's body.

Edgar knelt beside her, held her by her shaking shoulders, rubbed her back, stared numbly at his dead cousin, his eyes bright.

"Where's Rhona?" called Benjy. He was looking around, his face full of fear as he cried out his beloved fiancée's name. "Rhona! Rhona! Where is she? Somebody find her!" He scrambled to his feet. "Please! Rhona!"

"Benjy, wait! Be careful!" Caradoc exclaimed.

"Rhona!" Benjy stumbled into the forest.

"Remus!"

Remus glanced around, and saw Sirius, James, and Peter striding towards them. James and Sirius both took Remus in a rough hug, so relieved that their best friend was okay.

Then James sucked in his breath sharply when he caught sight of the cicatrix on Remus' face.

"That's one nasty scar mate," said Sirius. "Did either of you see Rhona?" he asked both Remus and Lily.

"Yeah, Sirius and I were looking," said James. "And now it sounds like Benjy's stumbled off looking for her...dead worried about her...." As he spoke he drew Lily close to him, as if he were briefly imagining himself in Benjy's situation...as if he were imagining that he woke up from being unconscious, and Lily was nowhere to be found....

"We--We haven't seen her," Lily said anxiously, shivering.

"I'm going back to look for her," said Sirius.

"I'll come with you," said Remus.

They didn't need to however. The next thing that occurred was the sound of a heart-wrenching cry of anguish that split the night. And then Benjy came staggering out the trees, carrying the limp body of a young woman in his arms. He dropped to the ground, and the moonlight illuminated Rhona's pale, wasted face.

Remus felt a strong, painful lump leap up into his throat. It burned and he tried to swallow it down, but it just kept coming. Vaguely, he heard Lily crying, and he glanced over to see James bury his tearful-eyed face in her dark red hair...Arcadia lamented harder, for even she, in her grief for her brother, could feel the pain of another fallen comrade...one so young and beautiful as Rhona Kinnaird. As for Remus, that pain continued to throb inside of him...taking over his entire body...as he watched poor Benjy bury his tear-stained face into Rhona's gorgeous brunette hair...his whole body shaking with choking sobs....

"Come back..." he croaked miserably. "Come back, love...please...come back...come back...."

Remus sighed. He might have passed out now he was so exhausted. So much had happened to him in the matter of one day. He turned his face to the stars above, which were clear and bright and beautiful...so beautiful.

He sank to the ground, and for a very long time...for many hours, perhaps--he couldn't be sure--he just sat there. Staring. Until Sirius knelt beside him. Put his arm around his shoulders.

Remus heard him open his mouth, try to speak, and then close his mouth again. There was just...nothing to be said. He slipped his arm around Sirius, and they both looked at each other.

Nothing to do. Nothing to say. Just pack in, buck up, and keep going.