Moonlight

Chapter Ten

Life Savers, Lakesides, and Love Affairs



It was a beautiful day for a Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Remus was in the stands with Sirius and Peter, cheering the loudest as James came zooming out on his new Nimbus 1000 along with the rest of the Gryffindor team. He booed along with them when the Slytherin team came zooming out next.

"Hello, Remus!" said a voice.

Remus jumped in his skin as he realized that Lily was standing right there on the other side of him. He was in the perfect position to take her hand in both of his, gaze into those green, almond-shaped eyes, and say, "I think you're gorgeous and absolutely irresistible. Be my girlfriend, go out with me, marry me, and have my children. Please." He laughed inside his head when he imagined this ridiculous situation, and instead turned to Lily and said, albeit meekly, but still loud enough that he could be heard over the roaring crowd around them, "Er...hello, Lily! How--How are you?"

"I'm alright!" said Lily. "How are you?"

Did she just blush again? Remus couldn't be sure. One thing he was sure of, however, was that his palms were fast growing sweaty. "Oh...I'm alright!" he said.

"All right, Evans?" James had come over to the Gryffindor section of the stands. Since Remus, Lily, Sirius, and Peter were all in the front row, he was able to visit them briefly as he flew round and round the Quidditch field on his broom.

"Potter, you idiot, the rest of your team is waiting for you!" Lily yelled.

James blinked and then glanced over his shoulder. "Oh! Yeah! Right! See you, then!" And he zoomed off to the center of the field and hung in midair, face to face with the opposing Seeker on the Slytherin team, who happened to be none other than Sirius' little brother, Regulus Black.

"Come on, Prongs!" Sirius yelled wildly. "Run the bloody rat-faced git into the ground! Squash him! Squash him!"

"Charming," Remus heard Lily mutter under her breath.

Remus smiled in spite of himself.

For most of the game Remus and Lily cheered with everybody else and focused on nothing but the game. Remus was glad to see that despite the fact that the fate of Gryffindor rested on James' shoulders, she still wanted very much for him to capture the Snitch and win the game for their house. She was even just as incensed as everybody else was at one point when James and Regulus were neck and neck, racing to reach the Snitch that was just ahead of them, zooming round and round the field, and Regulus had the gall to swing out with his leg and kick James so hard that James half-crashed into the side of the stadium, barely managing to cling onto his broom. Luckily, Regulus caught some of the recoil and was knocked off course as well, and the Snitch disappeared again.

"YOU DIRTY LITTLE BASTARD!" Sirius screamed savagely. "YOU SPINELESS WANK BISCUIT!"

"BLACK! YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" snapped Professor McGonagall, who happened to be within hearing range of Sirius' manic shrieks of rage--which wasn't really hard to be.

Sirius however appeared not to have heard McGonagall, and lurched forward as if to dive right over the stands and into the stadium, disregarding the fact that he hadn't a broom or a magic carpet, nor could he fly.

Fortunately, Remus and Peter both grabbed one of his arms and held him back.

"LET ME AT HIM!" he roared, struggling in their grasp, clawing futilely at the air. "LET--ME--AT--HIM!" And when he began to snarl in a canine manner, Remus suddenly feared that he would get so carried away he'd transform into a dog, and leap into the stadium with the pretext of biting his younger brother's head off. To his intense relief, Sirius finally gave in and relaxed as the game resumed. "WHAT CURSE WAS LAID UPON ME TO MAKE ME RELATED TO YOU?" he cried, shaking his fist in the direction of where Regulus flew above the game, watching James' every movement as James vigilantly kept his eye out for the Snitch. "WHY DID FATE CONDEMN ME TO THE FAMILY OF BLACK? WHY?"

As Sirius had confided to Remus so long ago at the start-of-term feast when they were just young and innocent first-years, he was "a bit of a dramatic".

"Padfoot, you drama queen, calm down!" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius was breathing heavily, but he seemed at last to be mastering himself as he lowered his fist. He fell into a brooding silence for a moment, but then one of the Gryffindor Chasers scored another ten points, and his demeanor brightened at once as he cheered with the rest of the Gryffindor supporters.

It didn't take long for James to locate the Snitch again. However, instead of pursuing it, he did the Wronski Feint and Regulus fell for it and followed him. Unfortunately for him, while doing this, a bludger happened to cross paths with him, and while it missed James by inches, it collided directly with the side of Regulus' head. Even from the stands they could see the blood spurt out of from his ear.

"TAKE THAT!" Sirius hollered.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Look at him," Lily muttered beside him.

"Who?" asked Remus.

"Potter. Big show-off."

Remus looked at James, who was now zooming around the stadium doing fancy tricks on his broom, like standing on it as he rode, or hanging upside down from it like a monkey, or doing handstands on it--two-handed, and then one-handed.

"If he doesn't quit it, Regulus is going to recover and find the Snitch before he does," said Lily, "even if he doesn't purposefully look for it himself."

She had a point.

The crowd went ballistic now, and Remus, who had been listening to Lily, quickly tried to figure out why. He soon found out however. In the midst of showing off his tricks, James had caught sight of the Snitch again, doubled back, riding the broom in reverse, and plucked the Snitch from the air in mere seconds within catching sight of it.

Remus joined Sirius and Peter in running out to the field to James and the other Gryffindor team members, but he glanced once over his shoulder at Lily, who straggled behind disgruntledly with her arms folded. Yet even when she was moody she was still as pretty as ever.

As he celebrated with the other Gryffindors in the middle of the field, Remus and Sirius lifted James on their shoulders as they paraded him out of the stadium. Then two members of the team took over for them as they continued their procession up to the castle, while the team's captain carried the silver Quidditch cup.

For a moment, Sirius disappeared from Remus' side. Confused, he looked around at Peter walking along on his other side. "Did you see where Padfoot ran off to?" he asked.

Peter shrugged and then ran ahead to catch up with James and the other Gryffindors.

Remus stopped and turned around. However, the only person he saw coming out of the stadium was Lily, her arms still folded as she made her way across the grass in his direction. "Lily! Did you see Sirius?" he asked her.

"Yes," Lily sighed, and she stopped when she reached him. "He wanted a private chat with Severus. I told Sev it was a bad idea but he wouldn't hear of it. He told me to go on ahead without him. Oh. There he is."

Remus looked over and saw Severus walking quickly out of the stadium, as if driven by some burning and purposeful desire. The moment he noticed the two of them standing alone together up ahead of him, his face became vicious.

"I'd better go," said Remus. Before Lily could protest, he ran up the slope to the castle, and didn't look back once until he was inside the Gryffindor common room, celebrating victory with the other Gryffindors. He did not relax however until he saw Sirius trail in through the portrait hole after him a few moments later. "Where did you go?" he asked. "You disappeared on me and Wormtail!"

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius. He wore a grin that told Remus he'd been up to no good--and it had been more than just innocent marauding to boot.

He decided however not to further question Sirius. A few minutes into the Gryffindor party, Remus felt thoroughly worn out: the April full moon was due the very next day.

~

Remus could not remember a thing after he succumbed to the darkness. The next thing he knew he was lying in a bed in the hospital wing. This could only mean one thing: last night his friends had not joined him. For the first time since they'd started this charade, his friends had not joined him. They didn't even tell him they weren't coming. And this had to mean that something had gone wrong while he was away. With a weight of dread settling into his stomach, he opened his eyes and saw his friends' faces gazing down at him as always, but they were solemn. Remus' insides clenched. Something was wrong.

"Hiya, Moony," said James, smiling a little. "How are you?"

"Awful," Remus replied hoarsely. His transformations had been improving some ever since his friends started joining him as animals during his full moon routine. But after last night, when they weren't with him all of a sudden, the beast had been far more violent, as if it had become a manifestation of Remus' fury at not having them show up as usual to accompany him. As he thought of this, the indignation must have shown on his face, for the next thing out of James' mouth was:

"Listen, mate, we're really sorry we weren't there last night. Something came up. Something serious." On the last two words, he glanced across the bed at Sirius, who appeared to be the gravest of the three of them. "Padfoot?" James prompted. "You want to explain to Moony why we couldn't show up last night?"

Sirius shuffled his feet and then looked directly at Remus. Remus had never seen him look so remorseful, and it made his heart clench to witness it.

"Last month," Sirius began, taking a deep breath as he did so, "I saw...er...Snape staring out the window at you and Madam Pomfrey as you and she were crossing the grounds to the Whomping Willow." He paused to make sure Madam Pomfrey wasn't about to walk in on them, and then continued. "And well...I.... You know those scratches he got all over his face? And that detention he got?"

Remus nodded.

"Well, he had tried to get in the Whomping Willow himself," Sirius went on. "He was trying to find a way to get in after you at the next full moon. I mean I dunno if that was his intention exactly, but I had a hunch that's what it was ever since that crack he made in the Great Hall about you prowling by the full moon. Anyway, before the game on the day before yesterday I overheard him talking about it to some of the Slytherins--about how to get under the willow, anyway, not why--so, after the game--remember I sort of...ran off?"

The weight of dread in Remus' stomach grew heavier as he nodded again.

"Well, I'd hung back to tell Snivellus how to get in. I told him about the knot that freezes the tree, and that all he had to do was go down the tunnel and he'd find out everything he wanted to know. I thought it'd be a laugh...I wasn't--wasn't thinking...."

"No, you weren't," said James. "The stupid git followed your advice exactly."

Remus' dread skyrocketed to horror. "I didn't...did I...there wasn't blood...I didn't...?"

"He's fine," said James shortly. "You didn't harm a hair on his greasy little head. But obviously he'd told Lily where he was off to before he left--you know how they're friends and all. Anyway, Lily doesn't want anyone knowing about this, especially Snivellus, but after she'd learned from him what Sirius had done she conveyed it to me--I dunno how much she knows, Remus, but I don't think she's gonna skip off and rat out on us if she does--but anyhow, after she told me what Sirius had done, I went in after Snape and...followed him down the tunnel and...."

"You were down there too!" Remus exclaimed. "I could've killed the both of you!"

"I know!" James said fiercely. "So Snivellus had better be glad I risked my neck to save his pathetic, worthless hide!" His face softened again. "But...well...I managed to hold him back but, only after we'd gotten to the end of the tunnel, and...opened the trap door, and...he saw you."

Remus blinked. "He--He saw me?"

"Yeah. So...now he knows."

Remus closed his eyes and groaned.

"Dumbledore's made him swear not to go blabbing," Peter said quickly.

"Although Prongs, Wormtail and I had a chat with Snivellus afterwards in any case," growled Sirius. "Just to be sure."

Remus opened his eyes and for the first time since waking up, he saw true smiles on his friends' faces. He found the effect infectious, so he started to smile too. "Oh really? And what did you tell him?"

"We told him that if he blabbed to any of his little Death Eater pals," said James with a smirk, "we'd force his head into a vat of soapy water so that his hair got clean."

"I dunno why it worked," said Sirius, mirroring James' smirk, "but I guess clean hair just gives him the willies. But Wormtail here was an excellent cheerleader, in any case."

"Padfoot!" Peter groaned.

"Only joking, Wormy," laughed Sirius, punching Peter playfully on the arm.

And despite his apprehensions about Severus now knowing his secret, and the fact that he'd come very close last night to not only killing Severus, but James, one of his best friends, as well, he still found it in him to laugh along with them, mostly out of the joy brought about by the intense the relief that he hadn't harmed either of them, and most likely the chances had been slim. And so this incident would continue to haunt Remus in his nightmares for the next few months. For now, however, he could feel nothing but happiness as Sirius looked at him and said, "So, can you...er...forgive me, mate?"

"Of course I can, Padfoot," Remus laughed, glad to see relief wash over his friend's previously tense visage. "I mean what're friends for, eh?"

~

O.W.L.s came upon the fifth years when the days were sunny, and warm, and wonderful. It didn't seem fair to be locked up in the school doing their written and practical exams. The practical exams weren't too bad. They had a bit of excitement to them since they required doing magic instead of just writing about the theory. Although history of magic was by far the worst, because it only had a written exam, and it wasn't even about magical theory: it was all just about remembering a bunch of dates and what happened on them and why they were so important to remember in the first place.

On the evening of the day they had taken their defense against the dark arts written exam, James, Sirius, and Peter were up in the fifth-year boys' dormitory laughing their heads off about the events that had taken place earlier that afternoon, while James and Sirius played a game of wizard's chess on James' four-poster. Remus, however, did not have the heart to join them, so he'd opted to go downstairs into the common room in his pajamas and bathrobe, sit at their usual table between the window and the fireplace, and write in his journal.

5 June, 1976

After what happened today, I cannot help but feel disgusted with myself. Not only did I allow James and Sirius to torment Severus, despite it being completely within my power to put a stop to it (as a prefect), but I allowed it all to happen right in front of Lily. When she and I first met in herbology, I had managed to convince her that my views on some of James and Sirius' ideas of fun were not alike, which is true. But does she believe that now?

Before it happened, I noticed her as I sat with them beneath the beech tree near the lake. She and her girl friends from Gryffindor were gathered by the water's edge, and she saw me, and waved to me. And she had smiled at me. And her rippling dark red hair shown smooth in the sunlight, and it hit it to give the appearance that she was wearing a pearly, shimmering corona on her head, and I became overcome with a desire to run my hands through her silken red strands, and the farthest I got with my fantasy was where after stroking her lovely hair, I'd plant tiny kisses along her unblemished neck, trailing them ever so delicately along her throat.... And I thought the day couldn't get any better.

Well it didn't.

Sirius proclaimed that he was bored and wished that it was full moon. I however do not wish that in the least, and although I think he sometimes forgets how little I look forward to it, only because he, James, and Peter have done a good job making it a tad more enjoyable--even if now I spend half my energy as a werewolf trying to cling onto my human mind that for some reason their presence seems to bring to surface--so long as they aren't aggressive with me. Anyhow, at the time I was nettled at his remark and decided to be a bit of a thorn in his side and suggest he test me on transfiguration. He snorted at me of course, told me he knew it all. Now that we were even, I had gone back to my reading, only to hear James point Severus out to Sirius, and the two of them were soon on their feet, advancing on him.

I sat there, staring at the word, "technique" in my transfiguration book, but not really seeing it. It seemed to swim before me as I listened to the crowd of on-lookers as they laughed at Severus being tormented by Sirius and James. And I felt Lily's eyes on me. I knew she was waiting for me to do something. It seemed that she realised that I would not when I still did nothing despite the sounds I heard of Severus gagging and choking on soap bubbles. I felt her march past me and shout at James and Sirius to leave him alone.

The pricker of jealousy poked me, despite how guilty I always feel about it afterward, when James said he'd leave Severus alone if Lily would go out with him. In spite of myself, however, I could not help but smile and experience a brief respite of happiness when she turned him down point blank, saying she wouldn't go out with him if it was a choice between him and the giant squid. I hate feeling so jealous every time James gives off signs of his own affections for Lily. He's one of my best friends, and I can't stand having something against him, feeling almost hostile towards him. I sometimes wonder if my jealousy is influenced by the territorial instincts of the wolf dormant inside me right now....

I have to admit that my jealousy and happiness all disappeared when Severus gave James a taste of his lovely "Sectumsempra". Not even James would do something like that. The curse left a bloody gash in the side of James' face, and it's no wonder he responded by lifting Severus upside down in the air by his ankle. But even after Severus called her the "M" word--"Mudblood"--Lily's attitude towards James did not change. She gave a lovely speech about how despicable James is and, she finished with a nice, "You make me SICK," and then turned tail and stormed off. I tried to catch her eye--my own eyes were pleading with her--but she did not even look at me. And now I know that she thinks I am no better than James and Sirius, and that she is just as disgusted with me as she with them--as I am with myself.



As he finished penning this last sentence, he heard someone coming in through the portrait hole. It was a brunette he only recognized by face as one of Lily's friends. She didn't even glance at Remus as she ran up the stone steps to the girls' dormitories. A moment later, Lily herself came down the stairs in a dressing gown, her hands at her sides, balled into fists. He admired the resoluteness of her gait, although he had no idea why she needed to be so resolute. She did not spare him a single glance either. He watched her climb through the portrait hole and out of sight.

Next he heard voices, indistinct, coming from just outside the entrance into Gryffindor tower. He strained his hear, unable to help himself (he was making a habit of that lately) and tried to catch what he could.

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath...Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was...never meant to call you Mudblood, it just--"

"Slipped out? ...your precious little Death Eater friends--you see, you don't even deny it! ...that's what you're all aiming to be! ...can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

A pause.

"...can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No--listen, I didn't mean--"

"--to call me Mudblood? ...you call everyone of my birth...Severus...should I be any different?"

Another pause.

And then he heard the portrait swing open and close, and then Lily reemerged into the common room. He could sense the anger and hurt radiating from her as she headed not for the staircase to the dormitories, but for the window. She walked right past him as she did so, still unaware of his presence. He turned in his chair to watch her flop down on the window seat, and folding her arms while she glared out the window. After a few minutes her gaze softened, and he thought he could see--though perhaps it was a trick of the moonlight--tears glistening in her emerald, almond-shaped eyes.

"Lily?" he said softly.

Lily stirred as if he'd surprised her from her own world of thoughts. She looked over at him, and the alarm from her face disappeared to be replaced by weary relief. "Oh. Hello, Remus." She turned away from him to gaze out the window again. He noticed she didn't bother wiping at her eyes or trying to hide the fact that she was getting weepy. He did not see any tears come down her face either. The overbrightness of her eyes was the only clue.

Remus remained sitting in his chair at the table, leaning his side against the back of it. He folded his hands in his lap, and stared down at them as he twiddled his thumbs. "I'm sorry."

"What? Oh.... For what?"

"For--you know--for today. I should've--"

"Don't worry about it."

Remus glanced up quickly from his thumbs and saw she was looking out the window as she spoke.

She gave a humorless laugh. "I don't think anyone can keep the Toerag Twins in line. And no one ever will, most likely."

"You probably could."

She turned her head again and looked at him.

Remus started to blush and dropped his eyes back to his twiddling thumbs. Those eyes were so bewitching to him.... Yet he just now, right then and there, made his decision. It was now or never, he'd realized: the moment had arrived when he had to decide whether to work for himself, or work for James. Lily had known that he was a werewolf for nearly four or five years, and had never shown him disdain for it. Like James, Sirius, and Peter, she had not abandoned him. Though of course, she and he weren't as close as he was with James, Sirius, and Peter, but the point was that she had continued to treat him as she would treat any other good acquaintance and confidant. She was as much a friend to him as any other.

But he knew...as much as he crushed on her, there was no way in a million years that she would feel the same way about him in return. He would always be her friend, but--what beautiful girl--no: what beautiful young woman like Lily could ever feel anything more for him than just fondness and a bond of friendship?

Though he hated the thought of it, he knew now that because of this terrible truth, there was nothing left but to do everything on James' behalf. Let him have her. Not compete with him for her. Just step aside and let him have all the chances with her.

He felt her eyes still on him, and his face grew hotter and hotter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she finally asked him.

"Well...." Remus took a deep, shuddering breath. "I was...referring more to James," he explained, his gaze remaining fixed on his twiddling thumbs in his lap, "but, I mean...pardon me for being blunt and cliché, but I think you--" He raised his soft brown eyes. And the vibrant green eyes into which he gazed were more beautiful than ever. They made it so much harder for him to finish his sentence. Yet he managed to make the words tumble reluctantly past his lips all the same. "I think you...are the woman...for him...." His face went so scarlet he knew it must be a huge contrast to the pallor of his skin, and lowered his eyes to his thumbs once more. He noticed he'd begun to twiddle them faster, almost in time with the rapid beating of his heart that was now setting off on its way down the path of self-inflicted pain. When she said nothing he went on in an attempt to highlight James' finer points. "James is a good person, really. He's rather pompous, yes, but I think part of it--not all of it--but part of it is because--because he fancies you so much."

"Ha!" Lily scoffed. "Just like Severus: trying to impress me by becoming a Death Eater."

"But James isn't," Remus argued, rather more fiercely than he'd meant to, and he looked up to see she'd returned to gazing out the window. "He's not trying to impress you that way. He just...needs someone like you to straighten him out a little."

Lily made a derisive noise.

The ferocity of Remus' determination to make Lily see James in a better light increased, and he couldn't understand why, considering it was hurting himself so much to do it. Regardless, he found himself rising from his chair and crossing to the window to stand near her. Now he was getting through this mostly on pure nerve. "Look," he said.

And she looked at him.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!" He turned away from her and crossed to the middle of the room, throwing his hands up in the air. He was on the verge of grabbing his head with them. So this was the side-effect of sacrificing one's heart: self-torturing insanity? Why do I have to be so over the moon for her? Oh, God. That was definitely no pun intended. Not that anyone heard it other than me--

"Don't look at you like what?"

Remus froze. He couldn't believe it. She was giggling. Flirtatiously. With him. He spun around and saw she had her back completely facing the window. And he realized with dread that from that moment on she was not going to take those brilliant green eyes off of him. He couldn't bear to look at her now. "Nothing," he lied, waving one hand as if to bat away a fly. He began to pace back and forth. "James and you are an excellent match," he went on resolutely. "You balance each other out. I mean do you realize that of all the people out there today, nobody but you could have persuaded him to take that curse off of Severus? I'm telling you not even Sirius Black could have convinced him otherwise...of course it would have been completely out of character for him, but that's beside the point--"

"But why would I have that kind of power over James Potter?"

"Because he fancies you! Haven't you been listening? In fact he more than fancies you: he's crazy in love with you! The poor bloke's on the road to lovesickness, and believe me: it's pathetic to watch it creep up on him...." For a moment he wondered wildly if he'd actually just been talking about himself, rather than James. Desperately he shook his head, went over to the sofa before the dying fire in the fireplace, and collapsed onto it. He rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands and heaved a deep sigh of exhaustion. He felt so drained. It was like his love for Lily had suddenly become his sole life force, and now that he was killing it softly, it was killing him.

He heard Lily rise from the window seat, and--to his horror--felt her sit down beside him on the sofa. He stiffened and sat up straight at once.

"Remus?"

He could not tear himself away from those almond-shaped orbs of emerald green. Surely she could hear the swift thumping of his heart.

She smiled rather sheepishly. "I don't think you'd make a very good matchmaker. I don't think I can honestly envision myself and James Potter. Can you?"

"Yes."

"How?" Lily laughed.

"Lily," Remus said in a quiet, steely tone, "listen to me. I may not be too well read on the subject of love, but I do know the saying, 'opposites attract'. This applies to everyone. I would think that if you fell for someone who was too much like yourself, it'd be like you're just getting another you. Almost. But when you fall for someone who's relatively opposite from you, then it's like you're getting a part of you that's been missing. A part of you that's been rather subdued. That's why they call them your better half! They bring out that half of you others don't see, and you like it! You love it...."

At the moment, Remus did not believe these words at all--he was only saying them for the sake of trying to get Lily to see a different side of James--but in time, he would come to discover just how true they were.

"James," he went on, now that he was on a roll, "is a big-headed idiot. And then you: you're...you're...." He gestured to her, stammering incoherently. Many adjectives were springing to mind, like "beautiful", "smart", "uncommonly kind", but he was far too embarrassed to form them with his mouth. And as the list in his head grew, it only reminded him more of the beautiful thing that he could never have...could never have from her...for it was highly unlikely that she would ever offer it to him....

And his heart broke.

At last he tore his eyes from hers.

He balled the hand with which he'd been gesturing into a fist, and stuck it in his mouth, his teeth clamped on a knuckle. He didn't care if he had started scaring her with his strange behavior.... That inside him, he was desperately grappling with waves of emotions crashing and thrashing like the lonely storm-tossed sea.

And then a warm hand softly stroked his cheek with its knuckles.

Lily's hand....

Remus indulged in her touch for a moment, before he pushed her hand away, though not unkindly. He was gentle and careful.

Yet in the brief twinkling that this motion caused their hands to brush against one another, instead of taking the hint, Lily clasped her hand in his.

Remus took his fist out of his mouth and looked at her.

"Remus, what's wrong?" she asked, her countenance bent with concern. Concern for him.

Remus gulped. He did not pull away the hand she was holding. Instead, he allowed it to strengthen him. He inhaled tremulously and closed his eyes. When he spoke, he was surprised she could hear him, he was speaking so quietly. "It's just that...these past few months...it's been coming to me...I'd never realized it before but...I don't think that I will ever...end up with someone...in the end...." He chuckled mirthlessly. "I mean what bird would want some--some...contaminated...cursed...bestial...infected...scarred...monster...?" The very last word shook rather violently as he forced it out of his mouth.

"Remus, you are a beautiful person. You're so kind, and I can't say I've ever seen you caught up in a foul temper." She chuckled fondly. "I remember at the beginning of this year, after the start-of-term feast, watching you leading all the first-year Gryffindors to Gryffindor tower. I even remember once seeing you--back in our fourth year--help this poor little second-year girl who'd dropped all of her spell books when no one else was bothering to stop and help her. And I'll never forget when you tutored that third-year with his defense against the dark arts for a month until he managed to get his grades back up. I wouldn't be surprised if you became a teacher someday.... Oh, Remus, don't you see? Any girl would be lucky to have someone like you...."

Remus shook his head and looked up at her. He gazed into her eyes, and she drew closer to him on the sofa. Far too close.... Close enough that he could smell her scent....

Lilac and vanilla....

Her lips caught his with such swiftness he barely had time to react.

Shocks went through him.

And then, it seemed, they went through her.

She pulled back. But she was not horrified or disgusted--she had just kissed a werewolf, after all. Instead, she was smiling. Shyly. "Erm...'night," she said softly.

Remus watched her run up the stairs and disappear into the girls' dormitories. Only then did he realize how good her kiss had felt.