Scam of the Century

Lovely girl, you're the beauty in my world

Without you, there aren't reasons left to find...

-Smashing Pumpkins, Ava Adore.

CHAPTER ONE

My name is Hermione Granger. The smartest witch to ever grace the land of Hogwarts, top of my class, prefect, head girl... I'm now 27 years old and I still have my whole occupational future before me. So, the question is; why am I about to use my intelligence and wit to screw Draco Malfoy out of over 160 million galleons? No, I'm not insane, on drugs, going through a mid-life crisis, or under a spell... despite popular belief. Well, there is plenty of time to tell you the exact reason later, right now I have some planning to do.

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The night sky was filled with storm clouds, as Hermione Granger made her way through London to The Leaky Cauldron. Pulling open the door, she stepped into the dingy place, shaking rainwater from her hair. She quickly scanned the place, before spotting the familiar shock of red hair in a secluded corner.

"Hello Ginny," Hermione said taking a seat across from her friend. "Sorry I'm late."

"Hermione, I was about to call the search team. Perhaps I should alert The Daily Prophet, this must be some sort of record," Ginny said playfully.

"Point taken, I had some business to attend to," Hermione said.

"Don't worry about it, Hermione," Ginny said with a wave of dismissal. "You said in your letter you needed to talk to me about something important?" the younger girl said curiously.

"I'll get to that all in good time, my good friend. How are Harry and Ron? Hermione asked after the bartender brought her the usual.

"Still on Auror duty in America. Ron says they will probably be there for at least a few more months," Ginny explained drumming her fingertips on the table rather impatiently.

"Right then," Hermione said slowly. "I guess I'll be needing two replacements for the plan then."

"Plan? What plan? What's going on Hermione? Replacements for what? For the love of Merlin woman! Spit it out!" Ginny exclaimed desperately.

Hermione looked around the dim bar. There were quite a few dodgy characters in the place, but luckily none were paying attention to the two girls sitting in the far corner.

"Haven't you ever heard that patience is a virtue?" Hermione asked. Before Ginny could answer she continued. "You remember Draco Malfoy, don't you?"

"How could I forget the little maggot?" Ginny said grimly. "Last I heard he bought out that muggle casino, and now he's scamming muggles and wizards alike out of their money. Once a prat, always a prat."

"Now, what would you say if I told you that I have devised a foolproof plan that will result in me, you, and a few chosen individuals taking all is precious money and splitting it amongst ourselves?" Hermione whispered leaning forward.

"Well Hermione, I would have to ask... out of all the things you've lost, do you miss your mind the most?" Ginny asked sarcastically.

Hermione chuckled softly. "I haven't lost my mind, Gin. Something like this has never been done before. We will need planning and a large crew, but if anyone can pull this off... we can. So, you're either in or out. Which is it?"

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Bloody hell, of course I'm in! I could use a little adventure in my life. How do we pull this off?"

Hermione opened her bag and pulled out a large piece of paper. "Here's the layout of Malfoy's casino. He's got everything; wizards have to check their wands at the front counter... so wands are out. He's got muggle cameras everywhere, security codes, timers, vaults, and guards. Like I said before, something like this has never been done before."

"I need a reason, and don't say money," Ginny said.

"Well," Hermione began. "For one thing I heard he has a dog."

Ginny snorted. "A dog? Since when do you not like dogs?"

"I like dogs," Hermione said. "I just loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

Ginny eyed Hermione suspiciously before shrugging. "Fair enough," she said. "You know who we have to talk to, don't you?" Ginny asked.

"The king of the crooks..." Hermione began.

"Mundungus Fletcher," they both said together.

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The next day found Ginny and Hermione sitting in the parlor of Mundungus Fletcher's house. The place was extremely dusty, and there were cobwebs hanging in every corner. A stack of cauldrons with their serial numbers scratched off were sitting in one corner, and a closet door that was slightly open to reveal what looked like several jars of substances that looked very illegal. After what seemed to be an eternity, Mundungus walked in the door.

"Ladies," Mundungus greeted hiding something behind his back that resembled Lucius Malfoy's pimp cane. "Err... what can I do for you?"

"Hey Mun!" Ginny said. "Hermione can fill you in on what we're doing here."

Hermione quickly explained the plan to Mundungus, who looked surprised but pleased. "You can't pull that off," he exclaimed.

"How do you know? Nobody has even tried." Hermione stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh, people I know have tried..." Mundungus said seriously. "One man tried to grab a lock box and run for it. He got 10 feet before he was taken down by Malfoy security. Another almost got all the way to the door before he got hit hard. The last one got the farthest with the cash. He got it all the way out of the door, may his soul rest in peace. The fact remains, you may be able to get the money out of the casino, but once you're outside, you'll be standing out in the open with over 160 million galleons, with nowhere to go."

"The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant," Hermione said.

"Have it your way then," Mundungus said. "To pull this off you'll need a crew that's just as nuts as you are. I'm helping you because I owe you. You know, with the thing with the guy in the place."

"Say no more, Mundungus," Ginny said. "We'll get a crew just as insane as the two of us are. We'll contact you when we have them all."

___________

"We need someone on the inside," Hermione said. "Someone who works inside the casino that is close to Malfoy but hates him."

"That should be easy enough, but let's save that one for last," Ginny said.

"We have to get the twins," Hermione said. "We'll be needing some of their expertise inventions."

"Don't forget we need someone in electronics. We have to somehow avoid Malfoy's cameras," Ginny said thoughtfully. "How about Colin Creevey? I know he's creepy, but he knows everything there is to know about cameras."

"Alright, I'll get Colin, you get the twins," Hermione said.

"No, you get the twins, I'll get Colin. They'll think it's a joke if I tell them," Ginny said.

"Alright, make sure you tell Colin how much money we're dealing with," Hermione said.

Both girls parted ways to go about their mission. Hermione walked into Diagon Alley to Fred and George's joke shop.

"Hermione, duck!" Fred shouted as Hermione stepped into the shop. Hermione ducked immediately, narrowly avoiding a large blue ball that seemed to be bouncing uncontrollably.

"And in 3... 2... 1..." George counted. The blue ball suddenly stopped in midair. "Wait for it..." BOOM! The ball exploded covering the entire shop and its three occupants in white dust.

Hermione brushed herself off. "Is this flour?" she asked after smelling it.

"Indeed it is, Hermione," Fred said. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence? Need some fireworks? Or perhaps, you would like some skiving snack boxes... trying to weasel your way out of work?"

"None of that," Hermione said. "I have a preposition for you." She explained the plan to the two men in front of her. There reaction was what she expected.

"You're insane," George said.

"Who are you, and what did you do to Hermione?" Fred asked.

George crossed the room and pulled a large book from underneath the counter. "We'll see if you're the real Hermione," he said. Hermione glanced at the cover. The book was Hogwarts, A History. "Right then, what does it say on page 1,345, paragraph 2, line 3?" he asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "It says that you can't apparate or disapparate on or off Hogwarts grounds," she said in a mechanical voice.

"Yes, but everyone knows that," Fred said suspiciously.

"Hermione, if that is your real name... tell me... what is written on the top of page 37," George asked.

"It says that muggle electronics go haywire when they are on Hogwarts land because there is too much magic interfering for it to work properly," Hermione stated.

"Alright, you're Hermione," George said closing the large book and throwing it across the room.

"Are you in or out then?" Hermione asked.

Fred and George took a few steps away from her, and started discussing matters in urgent whispers. Finally, Fred nodded and they both turned back towards Hermione. "Well, our shop here is doing quite well, so it's not like we need the money," Fred said.

"Yeah, 79% of people go out of their way to shop here rather than Zonko's," George stated.

"Did you know that 47.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot?" Hermione asked.

"This being no different," George said seriously.

"Fred... George... you have to admit this offer is quite tempting," Hermione smirked. She had them.

"Damn you woman," George said shaking his head,

"You know we can resist everything except temptation!" Fred sighed.

"You should have let us in on this sooner, Hermione," George said.

"Yeah," Fred agreed. "We could have planned it, prepared it, and pre-sold the movie rights!"

Hermione smiled. The plan was going to be flawless. "Vengeance will be mine at least!" Hermione yelled cackling evilly.

"Careful Hermione, you're mask of sanity seems to be slipping," George said.