Beware of the Fat Muggle In Love

------Beware of the fat Muggle in love part 5. Duels in the Forbidden Forest.---

Reading. That was all Dudley was doing during his free time until two weeks before Halloween.

Malfoy had interrupted him when he had three pages left of Advanced Transfiguration for sixth years.

"He'll do it. I swear!" said Malfoy while sitting at the foot of Dudley's bed.

It was late in the evening and all the other Slytherins were in the common room, celebrating Pansy Parkinson's birthday. Dudley looked up at Malfoy.

"I don't know really. He's not stupid," Dudley replied as he turned off his Smartwatch and sat up.

"I know he's not stupid, but he wouldn't let us do such a thing without trying to stop us, now would he?" Malfoy smiled at Dudley. Although they had been friends since the beginning of the year Dudley had had eyes only for Neville and hadn't really noticed Malfoy's good looks.

Why can't Neville just say something positive to me? Dudley thought to himself.

Why can't he just...take me as his lover and not care about anything else but me?

Why can't... What the bloody hell?!?

Dudley snapped out of his daydreaming and felt a hand on his thigh.

It was Malfoy's hand and it was working it's way up to Dudley's... you know.

"What are you doing, Draco?!?" Dudley asked rather loudly.

"I'm experimenting a bit," he replied. Dudley had a loss for words.

"What?" said Malfoy and looked surprised. "Don't act like you're not gay, 'cuz you are," he continued.

"What!?! No I'm no..."

"Oh yes you are. Don't try and fool me. I heard that Finnigan guy talking to Longbottom about how you were in love with him."

Dudley didn't know what to say.

"Look, I know it's hard to accept but you eventually have to. I know exactly what you're going through." Malfoy moved closer to Dudley; slowly and steadily like a sloth.

Dudley was utterly confused. Here, the guy he'd thought was the straightest guy alive, was coming on to him.

"So... you're gay too?" he asked carefully.

"What? Oh, God no," Malfoy said with a bitter giggle.

"But then, how do you know what I'm going through?" Dudley was even more confused.

"I used to know a guy who was gay and he'd talk to me about all his problems. Well, at least until he got a job at that shady club in Manchester. I haven't seen him since then actually."

"But if you're not gay, then why the hell are you feeling me up?!?" Dudley said.

"Because you can turn yourself into a girl and I'd love to get a ride on you," Malfoy whispered into Dudley's ear. Dudley was of course shocked.

"Why the hell do you think I'd let you hump me, if I may ask??"

"Because..." Malfoy smiled softly and stroked Dudley's back. "I can get Neville to like you."

Dudley gasped and didn't know what to think.

"Now I got your attention," Malfoy snickered.

Harry, Ron, Neville and Hermione were sitting in the common room, talking about the new concept of the annual Halloween party.

This year everyone had to wear a costume.

Not many liked the idea really but they all went along with it anyway.

"A werewolf? You not serious are you?" said Hermione when she heard Ron's idea for a costume.

"Oh I am and just you wait when you see me dressed up. I'll win the costume contest for sure," he replied with a smug expression on his face.

"I'm not so sure you'll win anything as a werewolf," said Harry. "It's not really a difficult outfit to make. All you need is some glue and some fur," he continued. Ron smiled even wider.

"HA! Not the way I'm making it, you'll see," he said and walked up the stairs to the dormitory.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and shrugged at the exact same time.

"So what are you guys going as, then?" asked Neville while sucking on a

lollipop that had made him levitate four feet above the ground.

"I'm not sure," said Harry. " Maybe I'll go as a ghost or a goblin or something like that," he continued.

"Well, I know what I'm going as," said Hermione and looked very determined.

"I'm going as something that no-one else will think of and I'll be the best-looking girl at the party," she said even more determined.

This got the boys really curious.

"Tell us, then!" said Neville. Harry nodded.

"No. I'm keeping it a secret until the party," she answered and stood up from the couch.

"Goodnight, boys," she said as she walked up the stairs to the girls dormitory, leaving Neville and Harry alone in the common room.

"And what about you, Neville. What are you going as?" Harry asked.

Neville looked as if he was thinking hard about it, still levitating over the floor.

"I think I'll go as an Auror. What do you think?" he said.

Harry was surprised. He hadn't pictured Neville as an Auror before and to be honest, it was quite difficult to do so.

"Well, there's a costume that'll be popular," he finally said after a few seconds of thinking about it.

Neville smiled.

Then he looked at his lollipop. There was nothing left but the plastic stick.

Before he could do anything, he fell to the floor in a hard thud.

Harry couldn't help but giggle.

"Oww. Now I remember why I don't like these lollies," Neville groaned from the floor.

Next day at breakfast, Ron looked particularly smug when he ate a large portion of bacon and eggs. Hermione was getting quite annoyed by him.

"Why are you so smug today?" she asked and looked at him as if she demanded an answer. He looked casually at her and swallowed a bite of egg.

"I'm expecting an owl and it should arrive any minute now," he said.

And as he did that, sure enough, hundreds of owls came flying in.

A small box was dropped into Ron's food, splashing gravy at him and Hermione.

"Watch it!" Ron yelled at the owl. He began unwrapping the box and unfolded a note that came with it.

"Dear Mr. Weasley. I don't think I've ever had such an odd request before but since you were in my favourite class, I'm happy to grant it.

I have enclosed it inside the box.

Happy Halloween, R. Lupin," Ron read out loud.

"What are you up to, Ron?" said Harry and looked at him suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing much. You'll see. Eventually," Ron grinned.

Harry turned his eyes to his food again but when he was about to take a bite of the sausage in front of him, he saw Dudley, standing in the entrance, waving at him to come over. Harry tried to ignore him but couldn't.

"I'll be right back," he said as he rose from his seat and walked over to Dudley. But just when he was about to ask him what he wanted, Dudley ran off down the corridor. Harry was confused and looked out after him.

And in the end of the corridor, Dudley and Malfoy stood and looked very pleased with themselves.

"What do you idiots want?" Harry shouted at them. They smiled maliciously as Malfoy waved his wand.

He was levitating a big brown bag with someone inside.

"Textilius Clearus!" said Malfoy and the bag turned see-through immediately.

Harry could see Colin Creevy squirming around inside, his hands tied up and mouth gagged.

"Come with us now or he'll be fed to the Giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest, Potter," shouted Dudley and they walked off with Colin floating behind them.

Harry didn't have time to call for help so he did the only thing he could.

He followed them.

They went outside, past Hagrid's hut and into the Forbidden Forest.

Harry had no idea what they were trying to pull but he had his wand ready for any sneak attacks.

He followed them into the forest for about ten minutes when Malfoy and Dudley suddenly jumped into the bushes, obviously trying to hide.

They can't be that dumb to think I'll fall for such a trick, Harry thought to himself.

"Oy, Tosspots! I'm not a complete idiot, you kno..." Harry froze.

Standing right in front of him were seven vampires dressed in torn robes and behind them there was something that looked like a giant man carved out of wood.

When they saw Harry they immediately turned around, hissing.

Some of them went down on their hands and knees crawling slowly towards him.

Two vampires flew up high in the air with parts of their rotting robes falling off. They started to dive towards Harry when one of them was hit by a ray of purple light, which made the vampire turn to ashes and dissolve.

"Get away!! He's mine!!" Dudley cried out as he sent off another ray of light towards a vampire on the ground, destroying it like the previous one.

Harry shot out three fireballs from his wand; two of them hitting each a vampire. The third went soaring by their heads and hit the massive wooden man in the torso, but it had no effect.

"DUDLEY!! HELP ME!!!" One of the vampires held Malfoy by the throat.

It hissed at Dudley and Harry with its eyes glowing bright green.

"Cruciatus!!" yelled Dudley, causing the vampire to cramp violently and drop Malfoy who reached for his wand.

He couldn't find it anywhere.

Harry shot several more fireballs all around him but he only hit one vampire, as the other was moving around much to fast.

Then they all heard an enormous cry from the wooden man.

It seemed to be pissed off like no other creature had ever been in its entire life.

It grabbed a rather large boulder and heaved it towards Dudley.

He shot a ray of light against it but it wasn't strong enough.

"Wingardium Leviosa!!" Harry shouted and levitated the boulder at the last minute. Dudley looked terrified. Malfoy came up behind him for safety.

Harry realised that he had a great weapon against the wooden man and flung his wand in a wide slashing motion towards the creature.

The boulder collided with its torso, crushing the wooden man, and sending splinters flying all over the place.

Dudley covered his face not to get hit.

Malfoy was hit by a large piece, cutting his forehead open, blood streaming down his face.

"Is everyone all right?" asked Harry, looking at the others.

They nodded and Dudley tapped Malfoy's forehead with his wand, "Reparo", and healed him.

"AARGGH!!!"

It was Colin, still trapped inside the bag, that was screaming.

They all rushed over and saw the last vampire sucking blood from Colin's neck.

"Oh, my god. Get it off him!!" screamed Harry.

Dudley ran up to the vampire and kicked it in the head repeatedly.

It howled in fury and lashed out and cut Dudley across the knee.

"Cruciatus!!" yelled Harry and made the vampire cramp together in enormous pain.

Then Dudley kicked it in the head again, this time sending its head rolling into some bushes.

Colin was in the infirmary for a month being treated for not only the neck injuries but also the vampirism-disease.

Malfoy was heavily reprimanded and sent to clean every single toilet in the castle for three months.

Dudley was also reprimanded but since it had all been Malfoys idea, his punishment was somewhat easier.

He had to sweep out the boggarts from where ever they were found and also give up his Smartwatch for a couple of weeks.

Harry didn't get any punishment. He had saved Dudley's life when he levitated the boulder and was going to get an award of some sort at the end of the year.

Neither of them said anything about using the Cruciatus curse because that would mean instant expulsion for all of them.

"So have you decided what you'll go as tomorrow, Harry?" Ron was sitting on the floor in their dormitory while Harry was changing his clothes. (A really stubborn Mandrake had vomited all over him in Herbology.)

"Well. I think so. But I'm not telling you if you wont tell me what you are going as," he said while pulling down his pants, leaving him naked except for his boxers.

"Oh, Hell!" Harry exclaimed when he saw them.

They were also covered in guck.

"A bit excited are we?" said Ron and giggled.

"Shut up. Turn around, I have to take these off too," said Harry.

"Turn around? We shower together so I have seen it more than once, you know," Ron pointed out.

"Are we in the showers now?" asked Harry.

"Well, no. But..." Ron began saying.

"So you want to see me naked, then?" asked Harry.

"God no!" said Ron looking displeased.

"Then turn around, you twat!"

He did and Harry pulled his boxers down to his ankles.

At that precise moment the door opened and Neville walked in.

"Harry? Ron? Hermione wanted to talk to you guAAH!!"

He almost fell backwards when he saw Harry standing there naked.

Harry tried to cover himself but his... equipment had grown so large that he couldn't conceal them even with both hands.

So he just didn't care if Neville saw him nude. After all, they were all boys weren't they? he thought.

"Errh, yes, we heard. Thanks Neville," Harry said and jumped into a pair of briefs from the top drawer.

"You can turn around now, Ron," said Harry.

Ron turned around and gave out a moan and closed his eyes hard.

"Harry?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Would you be so kind as to stuff your balls into you underwear, please."

----------To be continued in chapter 6: "Dude looks like a lady"--------