Out With the Old Professors, In With the New

Ch. 7: The Defense Rests

The next day after breakfast, Harry and his Gryffindor friends were off to their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class of the term. Harry kept reminding himself to remember to call Sirius "Professor White", as only he and the other students who had participated in the battle at the Ministry of Magic last year knew of the professor's true identity. Actually, he was still somewhat confused as to how quickly the others had realized that their new professor was really Sirius.

For instance, Harry had decided to tell Neville who Professor White really was the evening of the Welcoming Feast, since Neville had been so kind to him at the Ministry when they all thought Sirius was lost. When Harry returned to the Gryffindor table after learning that Sirius was alive, he had leaned over while everyone was listening to Ginny tell a story and whispered, "Neville, there's something I need to tell you about Professor White."

Neville whispered back, "You mean Sirius Black? What is it?"

Harry had been taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh, so you know who he is?"

"Sure," replied Neville, absently picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. "I watched him quite a bit during the fight, and he looks exactly the same. I must say, a pair of glasses isn't a very good disguise. It's like expecting people to not recognize Clark Kent is really Superman, isn't it?"

Harry had not answered right away. "Clark Kent is Superman?" he thought. "That explains a lot!"

"Ha ha, that's right Neville," said Harry quickly.

"So what is it about Sirius?" asked Neville again.

"Um, uh, he's my godfather," replied Harry, thinking quickly.

"Oh, you've told me that already," said Neville. "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody who he really is," he continued as he looked over at Lupin and Sirius laughing together. "I know he's on our side now, and if he and Dumbledore think it's important for him to be hiding, I won't be the one to give him away."

Harry and Ron were both quite happy to find they would have Hermione's company in Sirius' class. As the sixth years got up from the breakfast table, Hermione rose and left with them.

"Oh, this is great, Hermione, are you coming with us?" asked Harry in surprise as they left the Great Hall. "I thought you weren't taking Defense anymore."

"Well, I'm not taking the class, but I'm going to sit in on the lessons," Hermione replied. "Defense Against the Dark Arts is of course very important with everything that's going on, and I want to learn as much as I can. I begged Professor McGonagall to let me take the class for credit, but she just laughed and said if she lets me take one more class, I'll want to sign up for them all."

"Gee, I wonder where she got that idea?" asked Ron with a grin. "I think you're barmy for trying to take more classes than you have to, but you wouldn't be Hermione if you didn't try."

"Well Ron," Hermione said seriously, "we still have lots to learn, and I don't want to be unprepared when trouble comes around. And with you two as my best friends, trouble's always right around the corner."

The three friends all laughed at her remark as they approached the classroom. Defense Against the Dark Arts, or DADA as the Hogwarts' students called it, was held in a spacious, airy classroom with wood-paneled walls. Instead of desks, the room was furnished with light tables and chairs which could be moved easily to practice the more vigorous forms of magical defense. Harry had especially looked forward to this class for several reasons. First, each House took the class individually so that the students could get more assistance from their professor; that meant no Slytherins, therefore no Malfoy. Second, he was greatly anticipating spending time with his godfather. Third, everyone in Hogwarts, even Harry himself, when he cared to admit it, recognized that he was far and away the best DADA practitioner in the school, and he proudly looked forward to demonstrating his skills to Sirius.

Each of the student tables had room for two, and as Ron was sitting with Hermione, Harry took an open seat with Neville. Neville greeted Harry, and asked him what he thought about Gryffindor's Quidditch prospects this year. They were engrossed in a discussion of how much the team could benefit from having Ginny as one of the Chasers, when Harry realized that it was more than a quarter-hour after class was supposed to have started, and Sirius was still not there yet.

"Hey, I wonder what's keeping, um, our professor?" asked Harry.

Neville looked at his watch and replied, "You're right Harry, I hadn't noticed how late it was."

Moments later, the door to the class opened and Sirius walked in. "Hey, what are you all doing here?" he asked.

"Well, we're here for your class, Professor White. You're a bit late," said Hermione.

"C'mon Hermione, we're all Gryffindors here," replied Sirius with a dismissive wave. "You can come and go as you please, as far as I'm concerned. In my day, me and my best pal made it a point to always arrive late for class. Makes for a better entrance. It also lets everybody know you're not some stick-in-the-mud grind who's got nothing better to worry about than his lessons."

Harry looked over at Hermione, who was wearing a disapproving expression that would have done Professor McGonagall proud.

Sirius looked around the class, and said, "One other thing, everybody. I don't want anyone calling me Professor White, it makes me feel like a nerd."

Most of the students laughed at this remark, but Harry noticed that Hermione looked even more disdainful.

Sirius continued, "You all can call me by my nickname, Padfoot." He gave Harry a wink as he said this, and Harry smiled.

"OK, I suppose we should get started, huh?" asked Sirius, clapping his hands together. "What do you all think we should do today?"

There was a brief moment of awkward silence, and then Hermione blurted out, "What do we think we should do? Aren't you going to tell us that? Don't you have a lesson plan, or a schedule, or some notes or something, professor?"

Sirius pulled a face as if he had bitten into a lemon, and said, "Ugh! Don't call me professor, remember, it's Padfoot!" He struck a dramatic pose and continued. "Do I have lessons? Do I have notes? I never took notes when I was a student, I'm sure as heck not going to start now!"

Additional laughter from around the room greeted Sirius' remarks.

"Yeah, I should probably get something ready for next time we meet," said Sirius. "I just figured nobody'd be dull enough to want to start learning on the first day of class! Yikes!"

Harry kept looking over at the table next to his. Although Ron, along with many of the other students, was enjoying Sirius' jocular style, Hermione kept looking angrier and angrier. Harry thought he might try to signal Sirius somehow to lighten up a bit, but he decided it probably would do no good anyway. Sirius was standing right in front of Hermione, and he still seemed oblivious to her reactions.

"OK, how about this. Let me tell you about the time my mates and I set a trap outside the door to the Slytherin common room!" There was more laughter and general enthusiasm at this suggestion, with one conspicuous exception.

"Well, me and two of my best friends decided that the Slytherins needed to be brought down a few notches. So one night, we snuck down to the entrance to their common room. While Peter kept a lookout, my friend James and I poured a whole barrel of Bubotuber pus on the floor in front of the entrance. Then, we hid outside the door and waited. Soon enough, one of those snake-lovers walked down the corridor to go back into his lair. Just as he stepped through the entrance, James threw a handful of Dungbombs in there to chase them out."

There was a burst of enthusiastic laughter from the students at the image of the Slytherins subjected to the noxious vapors of the Dungbombs.

Sirius smiled broadly at his appreciative audience, and continued. "Well, I wasn't sure that would do the trick, so I cast a powerful Incendio spell through the door and set fire to their common room. At the time it had wood-paneled walls, but after our little caper, I hear it's just been left as bare rock. Ha ha! Anyway, between the stink of the Dungbombs and the acrid smoke from the fire, they all came tumbling out. The three of us cast Trip Jinxes on each Slytherin, and they went sprawling into the puddles of Bubotuber pus. Most of them ended up covered from head to toe in soot, burns and blisters! We put over half the Slytherins into the hospital wing! Ah, ha ha ha!"

Sirius laughed heartily for a while, but the Gryffindor students seemed to be less amused by the conclusion of Sirius' story. Many of them laughed half-heartedly, but a few seemed appalled.

Hermione spoke up first. "Um, I guess I can see the humor in tossing Dungbombs, though I always found those sorts of pranks somewhat juvenile myself. But setting fire to their Common Room! Someone could have been killed! And I've had Bubotuber pus used on me before, it's very painful. I don't find that funny, I think it's cruel. That's not the kind of thing we should really be encouraging, is it?"

Sirius stopped laughing and looked at Hermione. "Can't take a joke, huh, Hermione? C'mon, they were Slytherins! They deserved it! And nobody died or was permanently injured, the nurse was able to patch up most of them. Only three had to be Portkeyed to St. Mungo's, and they were back within a month. Boy, you sound just like my friend Remus always did." In a high-pitched lecturing tone, he mimicked, "Padfoot, you're being cruel, Padfoot, someone's going to get hurt, Padfoot, someone's going to get killed." In his normal tone of voice, he concluded, "Boy, it's like being around a bunch of professors. But I forgot, you and Remus are both professors."

Hermione stood up, and Harry could tell from her expression that she was furious. "Yes, Sirius, I am a professor!" she shouted. She was so angry she forgot to call him by his alias, and did not even notice that several of the students had gasped at her use of his real name. "And whether you like it or not, so are you! I'm beginning to think Severus is right, and you're just too irresponsible to be teaching here! Well, I for one have better things to do than sit here and listen to your childish stories!" On that note, Hermione gathered her things, stormed out, and slammed the door to the classroom behind her.

Sirius stood there for a moment, and then, surprisingly, he began to laugh. "Yup, it's like I said, she's just like Remus. I can't count how many times he got all huffy on me and James. Well, some people just don't have a sense of humor, I guess."

He turned back to the classroom, and noticed for the first time that the students were unusually quiet. "What, what's the matter with you all?" he asked.

Lavender replied quietly, "Uh, Hermione called you Sirius, didn't she?"

Luckily for them all, Neville had noticed when Hermione had made her faux pas, and had quickly thought of a way to protect Sirius' identity.

"What do you mean, Lavender?" Neville interjected before anyone else could respond. "I heard her say, 'Seriously, I am a professor.' What did you think she said?"

Lavender blinked, and replied, "Oh, well, yes, I guess I heard her wrong. Ha ha! I though she called him Sirius, like Sirius Black."

Neville turned and looked at their professor and replied, "Hey, you do look kind of like him, Padfoot. He broke into our bedroom a couple of years ago, you know. I got a good look at him, and you do resemble him. Doesn't he look like him, Ron?"

Ron cottoned on pretty quickly, and responded, "Well, Neville, I was the one he was standing over with the knife, so I should remember! He looks a bit like that Black fellow, but if you really remember him well, they're not really that similar."

Sirius suppressed a grin, and said, "Do you actually think that if I were Sirius Black I could just waltz into Hogwarts, right under everybody's nose? I suppose Dumbledore would just walk up and say, 'Hey, Sirius Black, how about you come teach at Hogwarts so I can protect you from all the Aurors that are trying to catch you?'"

The students all laughed at that, most because it sounded so absurd to them, but Harry and his friends because they knew it was essentially the truth. Harry was glad that Neville and Ron had been so quick to recover and save Sirius from Hermione's error. He reflected on what had happened, and decided that he'd have to be very careful himself. He had nearly called Sirius by his name on several occasions, and it hadn't even registered with him that Hermione had slipped until Lavender had brought it up.

"Hey, that little tale reminds me, we've got a competition to try to win! Anybody up for the challenge? When I was in school, my mates and I had a little group we called 'The Marauders', and we specialized in playing pranks. We pranked the teachers, the caretaker, the groundskeeper, and the other students, especially the Slytherins. Heck, we even played pranks on each other once in a while just for a change of pace! Whoever's going to do it, I've got some great ideas, and will help you plan the best pranks anyone's seen since my day!"

No one leapt to accept Sirius' offer, although it was not clear whether they were not interested in entering the contest or whether they just did not want Sirius' help.

Sirius looked appraisingly at them all. "Well, I know Harry's not interested, are you Harry?" Harry shook his head, and Sirius continued. "Hey, how about you Ron? You can carry on in your brothers' footsteps, and I hear they were almost as good at pranks as me and my friends were."

Harry wasn't sure he agreed with Sirius' assessment. When Fred and George played their jokes, Harry remembered, no one ever got hurt. All in all, he much preferred their brand of humor to that of the Marauders.

Ron looked uncomfortable, and replied, "Well, I really can't see myself playing pranks on everybody. I enjoy a good joke as much as the next guy, but, well, I'm a prefect, after all. And playing pranks was Fred and George's thing anyway, not mine, really."

Sirius looked disappointed, and said, "Well, you usually don't get to be a Prefect if you have what it takes to be real prankster. How about you, Neville?"

Neville looked up at Sirius, and said, "Who, me? I never really thought about it. But maybe I should do it," he said, growing more enthusiastic. "I know a whole lot of knock-knock jokes, they're really funny."

Sirius just looked at him for a moment, and said, "Uh, yeah, maybe, Neville. I'll be seeing the 5^th years later today, we'll see if there are any good prospects for Gryffindor in there. Anyway, it's a nice day outside, why don't you all take off. We'll get down to business next week."

Harry was glad to get out of class early, as he had some homework to do, and the Gryffindors were scheduled to have Quidditch practice after dinner. As they walked back toward the Common Room, he turned to Ron and said, "Hey, Ron, you're awfully quiet. What's wrong?"

Ron thought for a moment and replied, "Oh, nothing really. I just feel bad that Hermione and Sirius aren't getting along. I like Sirius, I really do, but he sure has a way of getting on people's nerves, doesn't he?"

"Yes, I guess you're right," said Harry. "Remember the way he and your mom always got into it? She said some of the same stuff to him that Hermione did."

"Yeah, that's true," answered Ron. "He's very funny, but I guess he does go over the top sometimes."

They walked on in silence for a few moments, and Harry said, "Well, it's nice that he let us out early anyway, we can get our Charms essays out of the way before lunch."

Ron grimaced, and said, "Now who sounds like a professor?" Harry laughed, and Ron continued. "We've got all afternoon to do it, and the weekend as well. What do you say to a quick game of wizard chess?"

"Now that sounds more like it!" said Harry enthusiastically. Seamus joined in, and the three ended up playing several games before lunch. Harry had a good time; he managed to beat Seamus once, and even made Ron sweat a couple of times before going down to defeat.

"Harry, your game is really improving," said Seamus. "To tell you the truth, I used to let you off easy before to make the games more interesting, but now I really have to pay attention to every move. Pretty soon you'll be giving Ron a run for his money."

Ron snorted. "Seamus, the only way you or Harry will ever beat me is if you Obliviate me before the match begins."

They all laughed, and Seamus said, "Alright, Mr. Chess Master, let's give it another go!" Although Seamus was quite good, Ron beat him with ease, and dispatched him again after Seamus insisted on a rematch.

After they finished playing, the three boys wandered down to the Great Hall for lunch, then took a stroll around the lake. It was mid-afternoon by the time they returned to the Common Room to do their homework. Harry finished his Charms essay, and even got a start on his Potions essay by the time supper had rolled around.

After dinner, he and Ron had returned to Gryffindor Tower and changed into their Quidditch robes for practice. The team's lineup had changed significantly since last season. As Harry had resumed his place as the team's Seeker, Ginny was available to move to Chaser, and see looked to be a prolific goal scorer. The team would profit most, however, from the newest additions to the roster. The Creevey brothers had won the Beater positions, and like the Weasley brothers before them, seemed to be able to anticipate each other's every move. Practice went very well, and by the end, Harry was more confident than ever about the team's chances to retain the cup this season.

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