Rating:
PG-13
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Hermione Granger Remus Lupin Sirius Black
Genres:
Parody Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 05/20/2005
Updated: 10/16/2005
Words: 51,113
Chapters: 16
Hits: 6,752

Out With the Old Professors, In With the New

Accio Firewhiskey

Story Summary:
Harry Potter "was not a normal boy. Not that he was abnormal or anything, like some kind of loony, if you get my point." This begins a rollicking journey of intrigue, romance, suspense, and gratuitous violence. Actually, this is a parody of Harry and his pals that I hope somebody enjoys. In this story, you'll find: Clueless:Harry, Bumpkin:Ron, Annoyed:Hermione, and more. There's a shakeup at Hogwarts in Year 6, with Lupin back on board teaching a brand new class, a new DADA professor named "Canis White," and even a new History of Magic professor! On top of that, there's a competition between the Houses to see who can replace Fred and George as Hogwarts resident pranksters. And as usual, Voldemort's got a plan to get rid of Harry!

Chapter 04

Chapter Summary:
Snape and Grawp are in love! Actually, it’s the first day of classes, and up first is Robe Design. Dobby passes a warning on to Harry. Justin shines in Lupin’s class, Ron’s attire becomes a concern, and Harry’s scar gives him some unusual trouble.
Posted:
06/28/2005
Hits:
519


Ch. 4: A Marked Man

Harry woke early the next day. He sat up in his four-poster bed and looked out the window. The sky was still dark, but a touch of red hinted that sunrise was approaching. It should be a lovely day, Harry thought, as it usually was this time of year around Hogwarts. They could expect warm, clear weather, just perfect for a spin around the Quidditch pitch on your broom.

Harry was excited. Classes were starting today, and he couldn't wait for this term to begin. First of all, he no longer had to take Divination. He didn't mind the class with Firenze so much, but as half the sessions were to be taught by Trelawney, he could do without the subject as a whole. He was dreading NEWT level potions in the afternoon with Snape, but at least he didn't have to see him for Occlumency lessons anymore. Dumbledore had asked Lupin to take over that aspect of Harry's education; even though Snape was the more skilled Occulmens, the tension between he and Harry made it impossible for lessons with him to be successful.

This morning, his first class was Robe Design with Lupin, so Harry would be wearing his dress robes as the professor had requested. He and Ron and the other Gryffindor 6th year boys had talked it over, and decided that they'd all take the same class together. They figured that since Robe Design was the first class of the week, they could get Lupin's class out of the way, and most of them weren't very keen on fashion. Also, since they all had difficult NEWT classes in the afternoon, they thought Lupin's subject would be an easy way to start the day.

Ron, for instance, had his NEWT-level Care of Magical Creatures class Monday afternoon.

"Look at this, Hagrid's outline says that his NEWT students will now be able to begin dealing with dangerous magical creatures!" Ron had exclaimed yesterday. "Blimey, what'll we be doing now, raising baby dementors?"

Harry chuckled, and wondered exactly what Hagrid had in store for his advanced-but-frightened students. He hoped to run into Hagrid later sometime during the day to find out.

Harry opened his school trunk, and took out his bottle-green dress robes from their wrappings. After a once-over for any wrinkles or stains, he decided they were in good condition. Dressing quickly, Harry intended to hurry down to breakfast to see if there was any interesting news that morning. As he entered the common room, Harry noticed a small figure scrubbing away at the bricks surrounding the Common Room fireplace. He was happy to see it was his good friend Dobby the House-Elf attending to the last of the morning cleaning.

"Morning, Dobby," he said with a yawn and a stretch, "How was your summer?"

Dobby dropped his brush and ran over to Harry, hugging him around his knees. "Harry Potter! Dobby is most happy to see you, sir!" squeaked Dobby, releasing Harry's legs. "I has had a good summer. I even took a..." At this point, Dobby looked around, leaned close to Harry, and whispered, "vacation, sir!"

"Well that's great Dobby, you really deserve one. But why are you whispering?" asked Harry.

"Please sir, we must keep this quiet," whispered Dobby urgently. "The other elves is mad enough that Dobby is getting paying, but when they heard I is having a vacation too, well sir, they is being very angry. They says to Dobby, 'If you is wanting to be on vacation, we is letting you be on vacation. You is not working down here anymore.' I had to ask Professor Dumbledore for help, and when he told them Dobby could still work in the kitchens, they was so mad they actually grumbled about it in front of him. I decided that Dobby should just clean Gryffindor tower by myself for now, until the other elves gets less angry. No one but me wants to clean up here anyway, since I doesn't mind finding the clothes Harry's good friend leaves for the House Elves."

Harry laughed. "Don't worry Dobby, that won't be a problem anymore. Hermione won't be staying in Gryffindor tower anymore, so you won't find those, er, hats?" Dobby shrugged, since he wasn't exactly sure what it was Hermione had been trying to knit either. Harry continued. "Well, Hermione's a teacher now, so she'll probably try to be a lot more direct with her efforts to help you elves."

Dobby began to hop nervously up and down. "Oh no, Harry Potter, that is bad!" he exclaimed. "The House Elves has about had it with these efforts to help them, sir! They has said that whoever is leaving clothes in the tower is a bad, bad wizard. I lied at them and told them it was an accident, but they'll know it was her if she doesn't stop, sir. Dobby doesn't know what they will do sir!"

"I'll tell her to take it easy," said Harry, amused at the vision of a gang of angry House Elves accosting Hermione. "By the way Dobby, where did you go on your vacation?"

"Go, sir?" said Dobby. "I just stayed here at Hogwarts. Dobby took a whole 2 hour vacation, and I went down and sat in the sun by the lake. I came back after the first hour and got all my cleaning supplies in order, it was a nice vacation, sir."

"Gosh, Dobby, don't overdo it," said Harry, smiling.

Dobby hung his head, and replied sadly, "That's what the other elves said, Harry Potter. Well, I must finish my cleaning now, sir. Dobby hopes Harry Potter has a good first day of school!"

"Thanks, Dobby, see you," said Harry, waving as he walked out of the portrait hole.

Harry wandered down to the Great Hall to get a bite to eat. It was almost empty, with Crabbe and Goyle, who were always the first to arrive and the last to leave at any meal, sitting together at the Slytherin table. They were resplendent in matching navy dress robes, and were surrounded by plates and bowls of food. A few Ravenclaws, who undoubtedly wanted to get a head start on studying, were seated at one end of their table chatting quietly. Harry waved to them and sat down, the first Gryffindor to arrive at their table that morning. He began enjoying some characteristically British-type food for breakfast, like Cock-a-Leeky Soup or something.

Anyway, he was soon joined by Ron and Ginny. Harry thought Ginny looked quite fetching in pink dress robes, while Ron had on the new black robes his brothers had given him, which were nice, if a bit rumpled.

"G'morn, Harry," Ron mumbled, still looking rather bleary.

Ginny punched Ron in the shoulder. "Oh, get yourself something to eat, you sleepyhead," she said. "Hi Harry, you look like you're awake anyway."

"Good morning Ginny, good morning Ron, yeah, I've been up for a while," said Harry as he sipped on a cup of tea. "I got up kind of early and talked with Dobby in the Common Room."

"Oh, that House Elf friend of yours?" asked Ginny, as Ron shoveled food noisily into his mouth with both hands. "How is he?"

"Well, he seems fine, but he's worried that the other elves are getting annoyed with Hermione's efforts to help them," Harry said.

"Wuh, SPEW?" exclaimed Ron with his mouth full, spraying Harry and Hermione with splatters of porridge.

"Ugh Ron, watch it!" said Harry, as he and Ginny wiped off their faces. "Yes, it seems they're still mad about Dobby being a free elf, and Hermione only seems to make it worse for Dobby by trying to help. I'm going to ask her to lay off."

"Good luck!" exclaimed Ginny, pouring some tea. "You know how Hermione is when she has her mind set on something. Well, I'm going to take some toast and head off to class. I've got Transfiguration and don't want to keep McGonagall waiting. Bye!" she said, waving to Ron and Harry.

"See you Ginny!" said Harry, watching Ginny as she walked away. "Hey Ron, let's get going, I want to get good seats for Professor Lupin's class."

"Mm'K," mumbled Ron, still gorging himself, and grabbing some toast of his own for the long trek to the Design classroom.

Harry and Ron entered the classroom, and took seats up at the front. The walls were decorated with innumerable swatches of fabric, samples of ribbons, lace and thread, and racks of dress robes old and new occupied the back of the class. Soon, other students began filing into the room, resplendent in their dress robes. The Gryffindors were having Robe Design with the Hufflepuffs, and when Justin Finch-Fletchley arrived, he walked up and greeted Harry and Ron.

"Hi Ron, hi Harry," he said. "Mind if I sit up here with you?"

"Sure Justin, grab a seat," said Ron, gesturing to the chair next to him.

"Harry, I have to thank you for teaching us all that in the DA meetings," said Justin, as he unpacked his school bag. "I got 'Exceeds Expectations' in my Defense Against the Dark Arts Owls, and it's all thanks to you."

"Well, thanks, Justin," replied Harry, a bit embarrassed. "But you guys did all the work."

"Oh, now don't be modest Harry," said Justin. "Everyone knows you're best in the year at Defense. For that matter, best in the school. I've got a feeling this will be one class that I'll beat you out in, though. I've got a natural flare for design, you know."

"Seems like a bit of a soft subject to me, kind of like divination," said Ron.

"Yes, I expect you'd think so, I've seen the way you dress," replied Justin with a wink.

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" asked Ron indignantly.

Harry looked on with interest, and Justin was just about to answer, when Professor Lupin entered the classroom. He was dressed in tangerine robes with light-blue accents, and covered all with a robin's egg blue cloak "Good morning, all!" said Professor Lupin as he hung up his cloak. Justin immediately turned his full attention to the professor, so Ron did not get to find out what the problem was with his clothes.

"Well, we'd better get started," said Professor Lupin. "I can see we've got a lot of work to do. Most of you have nice enough robes, of course, but they have no panache, no flair. Let me point out some happy exceptions." He began to walk about the classroom, and stopped in front of Susan Bones, who was wearing daring canary-yellow robes. "Susan, your robe is lovely, the cut is just perfect to accentuate your figure, if a tad revealing in the busom." Susan Bones blushed at Lupin's complement. He then turned to Justin, whose silver dress robes were quite striking. "And Justin, if I'm not mistaken, that's silk you're wearing?" Justin nodded enthusiastically. "An excellent choice. Notice how the silk lays across his shoulders, creating such a nice vertical profile".

"I designed and sewed these myself!" whispered Justin proudly to Harry and Ron, as Lupin turned away.

Harry found this all rather dull. As Lupin continued, Harry noticed that, unlike Justin, who was noticeably pleased, Seamus seemed uncomfortable when Lupin commented on how fine he looked. Harry couldn't understand what his problem was, as he certainly could see Lupin's point that Seamus' gray robes brought out and accentuated his musculature. Harry reflected on Lupin's comment that 'anti-werewolf prejudice is everywhere'. "I'll have to have a talk with Seamus about this," he thought.

The professor then paused, and frowned slightly. "Now, for the problem cases. If you don't mind, Ron, I'd like to comment about your choice of robes," said Lupin.

Ron started. "Uh, sure Professor, I guess so," he replied.

"You're sure you don't mind? What I have to say will not be entirely flattering, Ron," Lupin warned.

"No, I don't care," said Ron in a slightly raised voice, as Justin snickered next to him.

"Well, where to begin," mused Lupin. He walked once around Ron and Harry's table, then stopped and gazed at Ron before continuing. "They say the mark of a true Gryffindor is bravery, and Ron has certainly demonstrated that quality by choosing to wear those robes." Justin and several of the others in the class laughed at this remark, and even Harry smiled, although he felt sorry for Ron. He was wearing the new dress robes his brothers had bought for him, and Harry thought they looked fine.

"Ron, what you're wearing would be appropriate if you were going before the Wizengamot, or perhaps to a funeral," continued Lupin. "However, that robe does not do you justice at all. And why is that, class?"

Justin's hand shot up, and Lupin called on him. "Well Professor, first of all, Ron is tall and lanky, and his robe should be broader in the shoulders so it doesn't make him look like a scarecrow. A slightly looser robe would make him appear less gangly, that one makes him look like he's all arms and legs."

Ron had turned bright red by now, and his eyes looked like they were going to pop out.

"Very good, Justin, that is exactly what I was thinking, take 5 points for Hufflepuff," said Lupin, as Justin beamed. "The cut of the robe could certainly use some improvement, and a somewhat heavier fabric would hold its shape better."

As Lupin began to drone on about the varying properties of different types of fabrics, Harry found that he was having trouble concentrating. He looked around the room, and saw that although some seemed to find the lecture interesting, many of the students looked as bored as he did. Seamus was soon staring off into space, and Ron was doodling "Go Cannons" all over his parchment. Harry's head began to nod.

And then, it struck him. Pain. A sharp pain. It felt as if he were being stabbed in the forehead. "Ow!" Harry thought. How long had it been since he had had a direct connection with Voldemort, he wondered? Not since he had been tricked into going to the Ministry of Magic during Voldemort's plot to learn of the prophecy. He jerked awake, and shouted, "My scar, my scar!"

"Harry, are you all right?" asked Lupin with concern as he hurried over to Harry's desk. The students were all looking at Harry with expressions of shock and concern.

Harry said quickly, "Professor, it's my scar, I've got a stabbing pain, it must be Lord Voldemort..."

At the mention of the Dark Lord's name, everyone in the room except Lupin reacted. Ron twitched and grimaced. Seamus and Susan gasped. Justin swooned and fell from his seat. Neville flung himself headfirst into a nearby wastepaper basket.

"Um, Harry," said Lupin with a slight grin. "I don't think the pain in your head has anything to do with the Dark Lord this time." As the other students began to recover from Harry mentioning Voldemort by name, titters of laughter began to spread around the room.

Not again, thought Harry. Why didn't they believe him? Perhaps after the misadventure at the Ministry, they again all believed he was crazy, or just seeking attention. Harry began to grow angry. "But my scar really hurts!" he shouted.

"I'll bet it does," said Ron with a grin. "It looks like you nodded off and put your head down on the desk. Your quill's stuck in your forehead, mate!"

Harry reached up and felt the quill protruding from his forehead. "Oops!" he said sheepishly, as he extracted the offending object.

"That's gonna leave a mark!" said Dean with a broad grin, as the rest of the class laughed.

Still smiling, Professor Lupin said, "Well, no harm done Harry, but you better let Madame Pomfrey have a look at that. Off you go, straight to the Hospital wing!"

"OK, sorry for the disturbance, Professor Lupin," said Harry. He got up and gathered his things with a sheepish smile, and headed off to see Madam Pomfrey.


Author notes: Read, Enjoy, Review, Repeat!