Out With the Old Professors, In With the New

Ch. 2: It's Binn Nice Knowing You

Harry stepped out of the fireplace, coughing a bit due some ash he had inhaled. He looked around at the long row of tall wooden desks staffed by busy goblins and the gleaming marble floors and realized he was in Gringott's. "Well, this sure beats Nocturn Alley," he thought. While he was there, he decided to visit his vault. A goblin named Ironpike greeted him courteously and escorted him to the rollercoaster-like carts which led to his vault. After the dizzying but enjoyable ride was over, Harry filled his money pouch. As usual, he took out a small fortune to allow him to buy anything he fancied, although the funds withdrawn did not perceptibly reduce the size of his hoard.

He left Gringott's and began to search for his friends. Diagon Alley was a blur of noise and activity, with excited witches and wizards gesturing at the goods displayed outside of the fascinating shops. Harry smiled as he saw an eager child being led into Ollivanders by her father. "Must be a first-year," he thought. Soon, he saw Hermione seated at a small sidewalk table outside a café. She was sipping a cup of tea, and was surrounded by stacks of texts, piles of notes, and reams of spare parchment. As usual, she had her nose in a book. "Hi Hermione," said Harry.

"Harry! It's great to see you!" she replied, looking up from the book she had been perusing. "You're looking very well," she replied.

"Studying, Hermione? How unusual," remarked Harry, chuckling at his cleverness.

"Well, yes," she said. "Professor Dumbledore assigned me some extra homework during the break for some reason. He sent me 20 textbooks to read, and I've memorized all but this one. Oh Harry, what will I do?" she asked with a look of deep concern.

Harry raised his eyebrows, and replied, "Um, you'll memorize that one too?"

Hermione laughed, "Oh Harry, you're probably right."

Brandishing his OWL results, Harry blurted, "Speaking of extra homework, I got straight O's on my OWLs! How'd you do?"

"Straight O's?" she asked in surprise. Grabbing the letter from Harry's hand, she said, "Let me see that." She peered at the letter for a moment and her expression grew quizzical. "Harry, does this handwriting look familiar to you?"

"So what if it does?" replied Harry, growing angry. He was tired of being judged. Just because he had vanquished the Dark Lord, people treated him differently than everybody else. He was sick of being the "Boy Who Lived". He wished that he were just another student at Hogwarts, and no different from anyone else. Well, different from Neville maybe. And Dean could be pretty weird sometimes, Harry was glad he wasn't like him. And Ron was just plain goofy, and Seamus was a bedwetter.

"Nothing, never mind," said Hermione warily, interrupting any further musings on Harry's part. "Anyway, I got straight OMG's on my OWLs."

Harry had never heard of that grade before. "What's OMG stand for?" he asked.

"'Outstanding Magical Genius'," she said proudly. "I got perfect grades on every test! All my hard work paid off! My letter said that no one had gotten a single OMG since Tom Riddle was a student. I'm glad I didn't get my grades just because of somebody I know," she finished, with a sidelong glance at Harry. Harry knew what she meant, though. He'd feel terrible if he thought he had gotten any special treatment!

Harry pulled up a chair and sat down, pushing some of Hermione's papers off to one side. "Hey, where's everybody else?" he asked.

"Ginny got tired of 'watching me study', so she went to visit Fred and George in their new shop," she replied. "It's quite remarkable, you should go see it."

"I can't wait to get in there," Harry said. "Is Ron there too?"

"No, he left about an hour ago to look at the new brooms. I expect he'll be back soon, but, oh Harry, it's so terrible..." said Hermione with a pained expression. "I told Ron I wanted to take him out to lunch in Muggle London so he could see what it's like, and, well, he TRIED to dress like a real Muggle..."

"OY HARRY!" Harry heard from behind him. He turned to see Ron, and snorted back a laugh. Ron had tried to dress like a Muggle alright. He was dressed in shabby bib overalls with one strap unbuttoned. He was not wearing a shirt, and completed the look with a floppy straw hat and big brown boots.

"Hi Opie," said Harry, as he and Hermione giggled.

"No Harry, it's me Ron! My Muggle disguise really has you fooled, eh?" replied Ron proudly as he smoothed down the denim of his overalls.

"Uh, sure Ron," said Harry, smiling. As Hermione continued to snicker, he said, "That look really suits you for some reason."

"Thanks Harry. Hey, how'd your OWLs go?" Ron asked.

Harry was happy to explain again how well he had done, but he was a bit nonplussed at Hermione's snorts and eyerolling.

After congratulating Harry on his results, Ron said, "Well, I didn't do as well as you and Hermione, that's for sure. I only got one outstanding, in Care of Magical Creatures." Hooking his thumbs proudly in the straps of his overalls, he continued. "Charlie says if I keep up the good work, he'll see if he can't get me a job as a dragon handler if I'm interested."

"Great Ron," said Harry. Suddenly, he frowned. "Oh no, I just thought of something. You can't be in my Potions class if you didn't get an O."

"Right you are Harry, and I couldn't be happier," said Ron, smiling. "I'll think about you while I'm taking something easier, there's supposed to be some new classes I might sign up for, you know."

They chatted for a while longer, and Harry suddenly realized he was very hungry, having had nothing to eat for the past week except for a few potato peelings and some dishwater. He decided that he was really in the mood for a large Knickerbocker Glory, whatever that is. "Hey, let's go to Fortescue's," he suggested.

"Why, what's going on there?" asked Hermione in alarm, scattering her notes around the table.

"Nothing," replied Harry, "I just want to treat you to some ice cream." He looked at Ron in puzzlement, but Ron just raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Her fears allayed, Hermione agreed to Harry's suggestion, and they all helped gather her books and supplies together. As they walked to the ice cream shop, Ron told them about the new brooms he had been looking at.

"Harry, you just have to see the new Sidewinder Ten Thousand," he said eagerly. "It's supposed to be the most maneuverable broom ever, and has a sticking charm so you can make tight turns and fly upside down and stuff without getting thrown off!"

As they entered the ice cream shop, the man behind the counter waved happily and came out to greet them. Fortran Fortescue was excited to see Harry, who was a frequent customer whenever he was in the area, in addition to being a good draw for business. In fact, there was a photo of Harry shaking hands with Mr. Fortescue on the wall, along with pictures of the proprietor with such famous figures as Cornelius Fudge, Victor Krum, and Rita Skeeter. Harry introduced his friends to the shopkeeper, who said "Any friend of Mr. Potter's is a friend of mine". Ron was thrilled to discover that his status as a friend of Harry's would get him extra-large servings of whatever he ordered.

After they finished their ice cream, which was outstanding as always, they headed to The Leaky Cauldron. Tom greeted the three friends enthusiastically as they entered. Harry inquired about a room for the evening, and Tom indicated that he had kept Harry's usual room available as he was expected. While Harry made the arrangements for his room, Hermione went to the bar to get them each a Butterbeer. His business with Tom completed, Harry was ready to catch up with his friends. He asked Ron if they wanted to hang out by the fire and chat for the rest of the evening. "Um, no thanks Harry, we want to get right to bed," said Ron quickly, turning somewhat red. "That is, I'm very tired, and I want to get to bed, and I'm sure Hermione does too. Want to go to bed. By herself."

"OK Ron," replied Harry. He wondered why his friends were behaving so strangely. Probably just overexcited about going back to Hogwarts, like he was.

Harry felt sorry for Ron and Hermione. If only he could get them to sit down together, they might admit their true feelings to each other. "Well, if everyone else is going to bed early, I suppose I can use the extra rest too," Harry thought.

Hermione returned with their Butterbeers, and they found some cozy seats right near the stone fireplace. Although the seats were quite comfortable and it was still early, she and Ron downed their drinks quickly indeed. "Oh my," said Hermione stretching and yawning broadly, "I am so tired, and we have such a busy day tomorrow. Night all."

"Good night, Hermione," said Harry, but Ron remained silent. She hurried off up the stairs, with Ron watching her closely.

Harry turned to Ron and began to discuss this year's prospects for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. However, a couple of minutes after Hermione had disappeared, Ron said, "Well mate, the early bird gets the worm, eh? I'm off. G'night."

"OK Ron, you really must be tired," said Harry as they rose from their seats. As they left the bar and headed up the broad stairs, he asked, "Hey, what room are you in, I'll get you up in the morning for breakfast."

"I'm in Room 8, second floor," Ron replied distractedly.

"Great, what room's Hermione in?" Harry asked.

Ron stopped in the middle of the staircase, turned bright red and began to stammer, "Uh, I don't know... why should I? That's really none of our business where Hermione's sleeping, is it!"

Surprised at Ron's startled reaction, Harry said, "Gee, calm down Ron, I'll ask at the desk."

"Wait, I just remembered, she's staying with Ginny and Luna, and they asked not to be disturbed since Luna's a very light sleeper," said Ron quickly. "So we'd better not bother them."

"Good, I'm glad you remembered," replied Harry. "Well, see you in the morning then."

Harry awoke early the next day, but as he was unable to get Ron to leave his room, he went down to breakfast himself. Harry spent the next hour and a half discussing the summer Quidditch matches with Tom and two other patrons, a portly man in a smart gray robe, and a tall witch who claimed she could have played for Ireland 'if not for this knee'. Ron and Hermione came down 10 minutes before the Muggle taxi that they had scheduled arrived to take them to King's Cross Station. They wolfed down a quick breakfast, and the three of them jumped in the taxi and headed off to catch the Hogwarts Express. Harry noticed that both of his friends looked very tired. "Probably didn't sleep much," he thought. "Must be as excited about getting back to school as I am!"

After passing through Platform 9¾, Harry was pleased to see the familiar school train. He always felt that once he was on the train, he had finally left the Muggle world, all its cares, and last but not least the Dursleys, behind for another year. As they boarded, Hermione turned and asked, "Harry, can you do me a favor, please?"

"Sure, anything Hermione," he answered as he pushed his trunk into an empty compartment.

"Oh, thank you, Harry. Ron and I have a lot of Prefects' business to catch up on, so we won't be able to check on everyone this trip," she said, taking off her Prefect badge and pinning it on to Harry's robe. "I'm going to make you, um, Deputy Prefect. It's pretty easy. Just make sure everyone is behaving themselves and the first years don't get out of control, that sort of thing. And please make sure we're not disturbed, we're going to be VERY busy."

"Gee, thanks Hermione, I won't let you down," said Harry, absurdly pleased with his informal rank. He quickly got a chance to exercise his office, and to use the skills he had developed through his Defense Against the Dark Arts training. When a couple of new first years ignored his admonitions to return quietly to their compartment, he hit them with the full-body bind curse and tossed them back in with their companions. After that, he had no more disciplinary problems.

With his Deputy Prefect duties, the trip to Hogwarts went by quickly indeed, and before he knew it the train was pulling up to the school. Harry's heart rose as he heard Hagrid warmly welcoming the new students; "Firs' years, firs' years, git yer scrawny little arses over here, ya dogs".

Hermione and Ron finally emerged from their compartment and Harry returned Hermione's Prefect badge, not without some regret. Harry paused, taking in his surroundings and smiling. Hogwarts looked just as he had remembered it, with the sun shining on the lake, and smoke curling merrily from the chimney of Hagrid's cabin.

After the traditional carriage ride to the school, Harry stowed his trunk and other belongings, and was once again walking into the Great Hall. "It's so good to be back," he thought. He took a place at the Gryffindor table next to Ron and Neville, and Hermione and Ginny soon came and sat across from them. The five friends chatted happily about the upcoming school year, for the moment ignoring the sad events of last term. The Sorting ceremony was quite enjoyable, with many comical first years bumbling and stumbling their ways to their appointed house tables.

When the final student was sorted (Zamboni, Pat, to Slytherin), Dumbledore stood and raised his arms for attention. And now, what they had all been waiting for, the Headmaster's welcoming speech and his start of term announcements. "Welcome back to our old friends, and welcome indeed to the new additions to our little family here at Hogwarts," he began. "Soon we will proceed on our adventures of learning, filling our minds with knowledge, and just perhaps, wisdom."

"Blah blah blah," Harry thought as Dumbledore spoke, "let's get to the good stuff." As Dumbledore eloquently continued, Harry stared up at the enchanted ceiling and hummed to himself to keep from getting too bored: "...43 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall, 43 bottles of Butterbeer, you Accio one down, and pass it around..."

"And now, for a few start of term announcements," Dumbledore finished, finally capturing Harry's attention.

"At last!" thought Harry, and he felt the whole hall tingling with excitement.

"First of all, let us welcome the new additions to our teaching staff," Dumbledore began. "Many students of Muggle society have remarked on the fact that the sartorial style of the wizarding community is somewhat antiquated. A few centuries behind the times, to be exact. To help address this problem, we are adding a new course of study here at Hogwarts, Magical Design and Fashion. Each student will be required to take at least one of our new introductory courses, and can choose either Magical Accessorizing or Robe Design." He paused for a moment, and then continued. "Allow me to introduce our new Design Master, with whom many of our returning students will already be familiar, Professor Remus J. Lupin."

Lupin, dressed in new turquoise robes, walked out to the staff table with a sheepish grin, and waved to the students. Harry could not be happier that his good friend and mentor had returned to Hogwarts. His friends were also quite thrilled, of course. He noticed that Malfoy and most of his Slytherin cronies were aghast, and many of the students seemed lukewarm in their applause. Probably because they knew Lupin was a werewolf, Harry thought. However, Harry did notice that many of the female students seemed very enthusiastic, and he was pleased to see that even some of the boys from other houses appeared happy with Lupin's return. In particular, Justin Finch-Fletchley looked positively giddy, while Harry was surprised to see Crabbe and Goyle join in the applause.

"Yes, thank you, thank you, and welcome back, Professor Lupin," said Dumbledore, waiting for the clamor to die down before continuing. "And now for our next staff addition. The post of Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor has had a somewhat checkered past here recently, but I hope our new professor can put an end to the revolving door that that post has become. May I introduce you all to Professor Canis White." Harry, who had his back to the staff table, had been looking at Hermione as their new Professor approached the staff table. She gasped, and the color drained from her face. Harry turned as the students politely applauded, and immediately saw what had caused Hermione's reaction. There at the table sat a man who was the spitting image of his dear departed Godfather Sirius Black, except this professor wore glasses, while Sirius did not. Harry fought back tears as he was reminded of Sirius's tragic death just a few months ago.

"Harry, that's, that's, that's Sirius!" whispered Hermione. Harry turned to look at Ron, who was gaping silently at the staff table.

Harry rolled his eyes at her silly remark. "Hermione, that's not Sirius, he's dead, and besides, he didn't wear glasses," he replied. Perhaps this new professor was a member of the Black family, Harry thought. Canis White looked over and caught Harry's eye, and Harry could have sworn he winked at him.

Hermione was about to say something to Harry when Professor Dumbledore spoke again. "Thank you all for that hospitable welcome, and I'm sure we will all help Professor Bl... um, Professor WHITE as he becomes familiar with the routine here at Hogwarts. And for our final staff announcement, I yield the floor to one of our dearest and oldest colleagues, Professor Binns."

Professor Binns was a ghost who taught History of Magic. No one had ever known him to say anything that was not directly related to his class, so everyone in the hall eagerly awaited what he had to say. As Dumbledore stepped aside, Binns floated up to the front of the staff table and began speaking. "Thank you, Professor Bumblebee, for that kind introduction. I feel I should begin by telling you, for once, something of MY history. I have taught here these many years as a ghost, but never have I explained why. For some who become ghosts, the reason is that they are waiting for something, or someone. You have probably noticed that I am not particularly good with names," (most of the students and professors chuckled at this). "This is due to the fact that all the students and staff I have seen down through the long years are indistinguishable to me in terms of their knowledge of the noble subject of history. When I died, I felt that there was no one with my command of the history of magic to continue teaching the subject. After years upon years, class upon class, and student upon student, there has finally come one who is worthy to take my place. Therefore I will now depart this realm and proceed to my final destination, and I can rest peacefully in the knowledge that students for the foreseeable future will be taught by someone who has memorized the minutia of history to the same painstaking degree that I had. I bid you farewell, and resign my Chair in favor of your new History of Magic professor, Hermione Granger."

There was stunned silence for a moment, as Professor Binns evaporated into nothingness. This was followed by a great swell of comments from all the tables. Dumbledore rose and smiled at Hermione, and said, "Ms. Granger, if you would come up to the staff table, please." Hermione, blushing and looking quite overwhelmed, stood up. Without glancing at her friends, she walked up to the front of the hall, spoke briefly to Dumbledore, and went into the back room with McGonagall.

As Hermione was making her way up to the staff table, most of the students were discussing this extraordinary event. "Bloody hell!" said Ron.

"You said it," replied Harry. "That's probably why Dumbledore gave Hermione so much extra work this summer. Do you think she knew this was going to happen?"

"I don't think so," he replied, "she didn't say anything to me about it, and she sure looked shocked when old Binns dropped that bombshell."

"Yes, yes, quiet please," said Dumbledore after Hermione and McGonagall had departed, and the students returned their attention to the Headmaster. "I have another announcement. In these troubled times, with the return to power of Lord Voldemort, and his Death Eaters likely to increase their activity, we all need some pleasant diversion from life's problems. Last term, our resident pranksters Fred and George Weasley left to seek their fortune, and judging from the Canary Cream Professor Snape accidentally ingested this morning, I'd say they are making quite a go of it." The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched and Snape looked sour as the students laughed at this amusing image. "There, you see, a brief respite of levity always helps to distract us from more weighty issues," he continued. "In this vein, I am most pleased to announce a new house competition this term. Each house will compete to produce a pair of students to replace the inestimable Weasleys as Hogwarts' humorists. The competition will last throughout the term, with the winning pair receiving 50 House Points. The winners will be determined at the end of the year by our three judges, The Fat Friar, Peeves, and me. The contestants are encouraged to use their imaginations, but will receive no dispensations from punishment by Mr. Filch or our, um, less jovial faculty," he said, glancing at Professor Snape, "if they wander outside the boundaries of the school rules. Somehow, I think this a most likely possibility. And lastly, if you will indulge me for another moment, I have one final thing to say: let the feast begin!"

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