Slugging It Out

Chapter 10 - The Dog and the Toad

It was a dark night, the moon covered by cloud, and Severus pulled his cloak around him. He was sixteen in two months' time and had gone from small and weedy to tall and weedy almost overnight. He'd been glad of his cut from the import-export business to buy new clothes, including this new cloak. He didn't wear his brooch, just in case he was spotted, but the cloak was very warm anyway. He cast another careful look around him, before continuing across an open area of the grounds. Gaining the relative shelter of a small group of trees, he paused again. He heard a distant dog barking, followed by what sounded like hoofs. He continued cautiously.

Over a year had passed since Lucius had met him in the Hog's Head and invited Severus to help with his latest scheme. Since that time, the young Slytherin had become adept at creeping into and out of school at night. The grounds were vast and the boundaries often not more than a few bushes to demarcate the end of Hogwarts' land. Whilst inside the castle, being found out of bed after curfew was frowned upon, there seemed to be little in the way of obstacles to prevent a student getting out of the castle and further afield. Nevertheless, he took care not to become blase.

The world outside of Hogwarts seemed to become a more dangerous place every day. The Death Eaters had now taken responsibility for several killings of prominent Muggle-rights activists, and reports of baiting, torturing and even killing of Muggles by wizards had become a regular occurrence. But all that seemed remote, unreal, as life within the castle continued in much the way it always had.

Hogsmeade was quiet, even the pubs had closed. There were no lights in the windows of the houses he passed. He slipped into the alleyway and stood in the shadows, waiting. It was a few minutes before a soft 'pop' announced the arrival of his contact. He remained still, wand in his hand as he watched the newcomer get his bearings. A wizard in a cloak with a deep hood, Severus had never seen his face and would not have known if he'd passed him in the street. Which was presumably the intention.

He felt satisfied to realise that the man had not spotted him. When he stepped forwards, his contact jumped visibly, and his voice was higher than usual as he said, 'Your pardon, sir. Is this Honeycomb Lane?'

'No, it's Merlin's Passage,' replied Severus, as instructed by Malfoy's chocolate box message.

The man stepped forwards straight away and removed a package from under his cloak, in one smooth movement he'd pushed it into Severus' hands, and it was stowed into an inner pocket of the kelpie-fur cloak. The whole thing took less than a second. 'I must have misjudged the distance,' said the stranger, 'thank you sir and good night.' And he was gone with a swish of his cloak and another hollow pop.

Alone again, Severus followed the alley and emerged with caution from the other end. He returned to school via a different route, the incriminating package weighing down his cloak. They had started to step up security around the castle and he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to get in and out. The students had been lectured at length about security precautions and advised to attend Hogsmeade only in pairs or more - which effectively banned Severus from going. Not that he cared. He had no love of shopping, and was quite happy to see the village only by night.

He was able to extinguish his wand in the grounds as the lake was reflecting the pale moonlight, providing enough light to see by. As he passed around the north end of the lake on his circuitous route back, a movement caught his eye. Sitting on the bank fifty metres or so ahead was a big black dog, a creature so large and hairy that for a moment he thought it was a bear. He slowed, eyeing it uncertainly. The dog was staring at him with an appraising look that he found rather disturbing.

After an uneasy stand-off, the dog finally looked away and, very slowly and deliberately, began to lick its balls. There was something about the gesture which seemed calculated, as though it was trying to insult him. 'Don't be an idiot, it's just a stupid dog,' he told himself.

Nevertheless he was glad when he got past it without incident, and kept glancing over his shoulder once it was behind him. When he reached the top of the slope, he looked back once more. The dog was sitting in the same spot, looking straight at him with its big pink tongue lolling out of its mouth. He couldn't shake off the notion it was laughing at him.

*****

The encounter with the dog left Severus feeling spooked, despite himself. Even the following morning he felt nervy and out of sorts. He was almost late for Transfiguration, arriving at just the same moment as Potter, Black and Pettigrew. They looked as tired as he did, and were in the midst of a rather heated discussion. 'It was too close,' Pettigrew was saying. 'Moony's going to go mental when he's back.'

'Will you relax? It was all fine, pretty funny actually,' said Black, flipping his fringe out of his eyes , which narrowed as they alighted on Severus. 'All right, Snivelly?'

Severus answered with a rude gesture and ducked into the classroom before they could retaliate. He slid into his place next to Lily, under the disapproving gaze of Professor McGonagall. 'Another thirty seconds and you would have officially been tardy,' she informed them. 'Turn to page eighty-three of your books. I will be bringing round some mice, I would like you all to turn them into balls of string.'

Exhausted and overwrought, he found it hard to concentrate. His mouse kept escaping to Lily's side of the desk. 'What is the matter with you?' she whispered, returning the mouse once again. She had a ball of string on the desk in front of her, although it still had paws, ears and whiskers.

'Nothing.' He glanced towards the back of the room, where to his intense annoyance Potter, Black and even Pettigrew had successfully completed the task. The Gryffindor boys were infuriatingly good at Transfiguration. 'I see Lupin's off sick again.'

'Is he,' said Lily, in an unfriendly voice.

'Night after full moon,' pointed out Severus.

'Lots of illnesses follow the phases of the moon, it doesn't mean anything.' She headed off Severus' mouse, which was making another bid for freedom. 'Now will you stop gazing at those idiots and concentrate on keeping your mouse in check?' she snapped.

At the end of the lesson Severus still hadn't succeeded in transfiguring more than the mouse's tail. The rodent sat on his desk, looking at its new appendage with disgust. McGonagall sniffed disparagingly and gave him extra homework. 'Maybe that will encourage you to concentrate,' she said tartly. Lily gave him what was probably meant to be a sympathetic look, and he couldn't help but soften a bit in response.

He tried to leave quickly, but Potter was ready, and pounced as soon as Severus left the classroom. 'Ah, Snivelly,' he began, in a mock kind voice, raised just loud enough for everyone to hear. All down the corridor students began to stop and pretend to tie shoelaces, or even just stare openly. Potter and Snape's fights were something of a spectator sport in Hogwarts. 'Did you have trouble with your Transfiguration? Shame, you could have done with some string, to hold your tatty old robes together.'

'I'd rather have tatty robes and more than five brain cells to rub together, than to go round dressed up like Mummy's little dolly,' he spat. 'Did she sew that little name tag in herself, Potter? I expect that's for when you forget what it is.'

But Severus had made a fundamental mistake - in focussing on Potter, he'd allowed Black to slip round behind him. Now he suddenly felt someone grab him by the robes. His hand went for his wand, but Potter was ready with a body bind. 'Well, let's have a look, shall we? Snivelly's clothes have belonged to so many people before him, there are probably a dozen name tags in here.' Black began to pretend to read. 'Suzy Shrinkwater - ah, are you wearing girl's robes, Snivelly? Flatulus Fart-Blaster - I wondered what that smell was. Ooh, and this one's so old it seems to predate the modern alphabet!'

'Oh for goodness sake, won't you grow up Black?' said Lily sharply. She was just outside of Severus' line of sight, but he could imagine her, tossing her hair impatiently. 'It's not even funny.'

'All these people beg to differ,' said Sirius lazily. Severus could just imagine the smirks and giggles around them.

'Then they're just as moronic as you.' Lily's comments caused a gasp and slight ripple of indignation, which she ignored. 'Finite incantatem!' she added, and Severus slumped as the body bind lifted.

Quick as a flash, he grabbed his wand and shouted, 'Scrofulus!' His wand jerked with the force of the hex, and a moment later Potter's big self-satisfied face broke out in nasty fungal-looking lesions. He felt Black tighten his grip and a moment later his wand was snatched from his hand.

'No, leave him!' said Potter, as Black presumably readied himself to perform some sort of curse. The hideous patches were distorting his face, making the usually smooth features take on a malevolent, sinister look. 'All right, Snivelly, you want to play dirty, we'll see just how good my transfiguration is, shall we? You know, no matter how many stupid dark curses you know, it'll never change the fact that you're a stinking little toad.' With the last word, Potter raised his wand, his eyes narrowed with spite or concentration. He saw Pettigrew's eyes widen and him take half a step forward, as though to stop his friend...

And then suddenly he was looking up at a forest of legs. Upper bodies weren't even visible. A world of shoes and ankles blocked his vision. His skin felt clammy and his breathing wheezy, as though his lungs were under great weights. Panic gripped him, and he tried to run, but his body wouldn't obey. The next moment, a foot caught him full in the face, knocking the sense out of him and lifting him into the air. He thudded into the ground a moment later and pain surged through him. There was a loud noise, an incoherent rumbling from above him. He struggled feebly, trying to haul his low slung body away, somewhere dark and damp...

Then the world jerked as a pair of hands closed around him and lifted him up, black Hogwarts robes blurring past his face until he stopped. He saw red, a shimmering curtain of red, and realised it was hair. Lily's hair. Her hands were cupped around him, protecting him. She held him to her breast. He could feel the beat of her heart through the robes. Suddenly he was calm. He would quite happily stay there forever. Her hands gripped him firmly but gently, a finger soothing the back of his head. He rode the rise and swell of her chest as she breathed, felt the vibration of her vocal cords as she spoke.

But now she was bending down, and a moment later he'd been placed back on the floor. After the warmth and closeness of Lily he felt impossibly cold and alone. The next moment, there was a rushing sensation, and he was a boy again, laid out on the floor. For a moment or two he lay still, stunned, mentally checking out his limbs. His face hurt a lot, his whole nose throbbing as though it might fall off at any moment. He rather hoped that it did. Through a fog of pain, he could hear voices above him.

'-incredibly dangerous and foolish thing to do! Appalling behaviour, and from a Gryffindor! You shouldn't even be attempting human transfiguration, it's very lucky you didn't kill him!' That was McGonagall, in a towering rage.

'He provoked me!' And that plummy voice was unmistakably Potter.

'I don't care if he danced naked through the corridors! You are in detention for a week and if I ever, ever see you use transfiguration on a human being again outside of classes, you can pack your bag and get out of Hogwarts!'

Another voice, nearer to him, softer and more welcome. 'Sev? Sev are you OK? Come on, wake up. Please wake up.'

'He's faking it!' came Black's voice, though a little wobble betrayed the fear that maybe he wasn't.

Lily's hand grazed his forehead, pushing the hair back. 'Look at him,' she said, tearfully. Then louder, 'You'll pay for this Potter! Look what you've done to him.'

'What about what he did to me?'

'A few things on your face? Come off it, they actually improved your stupid mug. Covered up the acne. Whereas you...' Words appeared to fail Lily for a moment. 'Kicking him! Actually kicking him!'

'That was an accident, I never meant to - everyone was crowding round, pushing... I really didn't mean to, Evans, honest.' Potter had his earnest, heartfelt voice on now. Severus felt a red surge of hatred. He really couldn't think of another person in the world whom he loathed as much as James Potter. The anger made his head go muzzy, and everything seemed blurred.

He next regained his senses properly in the hospital wing. He found himself looking at Lily. She was sitting beside his bed, staring across the ward - presumably out of the window. He watched her face, the way the light from the window shone through her eyes, turning them into different shades of green. He noticed every freckle on her nose. A little spot on her chin. Her lips looked dry. The line of her jawbone was like that of a statue, he thought, some elegant thing in a famous museum.

She turned her head suddenly, as if alarmed. Perhaps some sixth sense had alerted her to his gaze. Her face lit up when she saw him, that beautiful smile that was better than any single aspect of her face. 'Severus! Are you all right? How are you feeling?'

'Rubbish,' he said, in the feeblest voice he could manage, though in truth he felt no worse than he did any morning.

'Oh Sev, I was really worried! Do you remember what happened? Potter turned you into a toad, and then everyone was milling round, and you got kicked...'

'Potter kicked me,' he corrected her. 'He did it on purpose.'

She bit her lip. 'I think it actually was an accident - honestly, everyone was so amazed that they all sort of crowded in. He really did look sorry - you should have seen his face when he realised you weren't faking it and really had passed out.'

'He was hardly going to act jubilant in front of McGonagall,' said Severus dismissively.

Lily sighed. 'He's an idiot, Sev, and a stupid bully. But he's got his comeuppance this time. He shouldn't have transfigured you, and he's got in a hell of a lot of trouble.'

'Yeah right, detention means nothing to him. He's probably down in the Great Hall now, grinning all over his stupid smug face...'

'No, he definitely won't be!' Lily's face lit up again with a devilish grin. 'McGonagall's refused to let him get his face changed back! Madam Pomfrey and the other teachers are under strict instructions. He looks hideous!'

'He always looks hideous.' But he couldn't help but smile despite himself. Potter, who thought himself very handsome, would undoubtedly be more traumatised by a disfiguring skin condition than he would any number of detentions. He touched his own face, which seemed remarkably intact.

'Madam Pomfrey healed it all,' said Lily, seeing his action. 'She said being a toad probably protected you - apparently they're a bit more squishy than people.'

'Hmmm... lucky me,' he said, unconvinced. He was in no hurry to be a toad ever again. Then a thought crossed his mind and he looked around the hospital wing. 'Hey, have you noticed - there's only us in here. No sign of Lupin. Funny, when he's supposed to be so sick.'

A look of deep exasperation crossed Lily's face. 'For goodness sake, Sev, can't you stop thinking about Lupin for one minute? You're obsessed!'

'If he's a werewolf he's a danger to us all! You've studied them, you know what they're like. He sleeps in the same house quarters as you. And I won't be there to protect you...'

'I don't need protecting, I can protect myself! Anyway, if he is a werewolf, he's been here for four years and he hasn't escaped and bitten anyone yet.'

'That we know of,' Severus corrected her.

She stood up, arms folded. 'You're impossible when you're in this mood! The next thing you'll be telling me Potter, Black and Pettigrew are all secret werewolves too. Perhaps Lupin bit them all while they slept. In fact, if anyone was going to be at risk if Lupin was a werewolf, it would be those three - I'd have thought you'd be cheering him on.' She turned on her heel and flounced out.

Defeated and cross, he lay back on his pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Lily's attitude just made him all the more determined to prove he was right.

At the next Transfiguration lesson, McGonagall made Potter apologise to Severus. To Severus' disappointment, the skin lesions had nearly all cleared up, but the look of angry humiliation on Potter's face was better than even the fungal patches. 'Sorry, Severus,' he mumbled, looking like he wished he could vanish on the spot.

Severus stared at Potter, enjoying his enemy's humiliation to the full, before curling his lip and sitting down. McGonagall said, 'It would be gracious to accept the apology, Snape.'

'I'm sure it would be gracious, Professor,' he replied. McGonagall did not look pleased, but she couldn't make him accept, so she sent Potter back to his desk. The furious look Potter gave him promised that this was not over yet.

Once again, Severus struggled with his transfiguration. OWLS were looming and the better Potter and his friends became, the harder Severus seemed to find it. The tortoise on his desk refused to become a pot plant no matter how hard he tried. Still, at least it stayed put. At the end of the class he handed the very much tortoise shaped tortoise back to McGonagall, who asked him to remain behind. Potter and Black sniggered loudly at this on the way out. Pettigrew, whose own flourishing pot plant sat mockingly on the desk, was particularly triumphant. 'Ah, poor little Snivelly can't do it,' he gloated loudly as the Gryffindors left the room.

Hands clenched into fists, Severus struggled to keep his temper in front of McGonagall. He thought of all the times Lucius had lectured him to keep calm. But Lucius himself was capable of fits of rage if sufficiently pushed. The stern Transfiguration teacher indicated for him to sit down. He did so reluctantly. 'You seem to be struggling, Snape. Is anything troubling you?'

'No, Professor,' he muttered.

'I've noticed that you appear to be tired. Distracted. I am concerned, Severus. You are a very bright boy. This is a crucial year, with exams coming up. I don't want to see you throw your talent away. I know Professor Slughorn would agree.'

'I'm not throwing anything away,' he said, now feeling like Potter must have done during the apology. 'I've just found transfiguration hard for a couple of weeks. It's fine. I'll practise; I'll be able to do them by next week.'

'You take three elective subjects, don't you?' He nodded, and she continued, 'It wouldn't be the first time an intelligent student such as yourself overstretched himself. It's a slippery slope, Severus. You start sitting up all night studying, and the next day you are so tired you can't function in class. You end up doing yourself a disservice.' She gave a rare smile. 'It's not often I say this, but perhaps you should take things a little easier.'

Amazed by this assessment, but glad McGonagall hadn't guessed the real reason for his tiredness, Severus nodded. 'Thanks, Professor, I'll do my best.'

*****

'More Muggleborns have been found dead,' said Lily, as she and Severus walked through the grounds towards Hogsmeade. He'd managed to persuade her to go with him for once, pleading that he wouldn't be allowed to go without her as a pair. Birds were singing, and the grass was dotted with spring flowers. It was beautiful. If only nice weather didn't also mean the ever closer prospect of exams.

'Can't we talk about something cheerful?' he asked.

'The Death Eaters have claimed responsibility,' she continued, as though he hadn't spoken. 'But no one ever seems to catch any of them. People seem to be really scared. Morgana says her parents won't even go to Diagon Alley anymore, they think it's too dangerous.'

'But Morgana's pureblood, isn't she?' he asked, with a touch of impatience.

'So? If you get caught in the crossfire, it doesn't matter what your blood status is. I'm going to get my books for next year by owl order, I can't risk taking my parents there now. Have you decided what subject's you'll do for NEWT yet?'

'The 'big five' probably, though I might do Arithmancy instead of Transfiguration. I don't know what I want to be yet, so I'd better keep my options open. What about you?'

'The same, except I'll do Transfiguration for sure. Arithmancy makes my brain hurt too much, and Transfiguration is quite fun. We get to learn human transfiguration in sixth year as well, we might even be able to turn ourselves into animals - how amazing would that be!'

'Unlikely,' he sniffed. 'There's only been six Animagi this century, I looked at the register.'

'I don't mean Animagus transformations, I mean ordinary animal transfiguration - done with a wand and a spell. Animagi can change at will, without a wand or spell, but always take the same form...'

'I know what the definition of an Animagus is,' he said sharply.

'Fine!' They walked in silence for a bit.

Perhaps feeling guilty, he asked, 'Supposing you could be an Animagus and pick your form. What would it be?'

She gave it careful thought. 'I'd love to be a dolphin, able to leap through the water. But it wouldn't be very practical, unless I jumped into the lake before I changed. A bird would be good too. Maybe an owl. What would yours be?'

'I'd like to be able to fly, but not an owl. An eagle, maybe.'

'Or a bat,' she suggested, ducking away from his playful shove. They chased along the path a few paces, laughing. Once they'd got their breath back, she said, 'Morgana's very low at the moment. Did you hear she split up with Gary Whingle?'

'My ears tend to block out information I don't give a damn about. Oh come on, don't look at me like that. Every time I go near Morgana she treats me like something she's just stepped in. And Gary Whingle is a total idiot anyway. What is it about Quidditch players that makes everyone impervious to their faults?'

She ignored this last. 'I keep telling her it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'

'Well, that's clearly nonsense,' he said at once.

'Of course it's not nonsense! It's wonderful to have loved. What would be the point of life if you hadn't ever loved?' She looked very misty eyed.

'It might be wonderful to love, but even worse to have it taken away. You don't miss what you don't know. If you've never loved at all, you won't get hurt. You might never know how wonderful love is, but you won't know how bloody awful it is either.' He said the last part with real feeling.

'That's such a gloomy view, Sev. It makes me sad when you say things like that. If you went through life not loving people just in case you got hurt, you'd be a very closed up, miserable person. I'd rather have just a few days of love than a lifetime of that.' She suddenly slipped her arm through his and pulled him close. 'You'll find someone to fall in love with, Sev, I promise.'

Reddening and flustered, finding it hard to breathe with her scent so close to him, he blurted out, 'I invented a new spell.' His voice was a little higher than normal.

Surprised at this change of topic, Lily disentangled herself from him. 'Really?'

'Yeah. It's a secret, really, but I'll tell you. It's a non-verbal spell, and it picks someone up by their ankle, very fast, and hoists them in the air. It doesn't hurt them - I took ages getting it just right so they levitate high enough not to bang their heads on the ground when they flip. It's brilliant - totally takes people by surprise.'

'I suppose you're planning to use it on Potter and company at some point,' she said, with a roll of the eyes. 'Go on then, tell me how to do it. I can't do non-verbal spells yet though.'

Severus, who had practiced hard to master non-verbal incantations as part of duelling club, smiled smugly. 'It works best non-verbally, then it has a total element of surprise. The word is Levicorpus! You have to sort of twitch your wand, to the right and up - but not too much. Not a great big wave. Subtle, you see.' He showed her the motion. 'A bit like mobilius spells, but even less so.'

She practiced the motion several times, then without warning Severus was suddenly whipped into the air, his left leg leading the way, the rest of him flipping over so he dangled upside down. His robes fell over his head, hiding his red, astonished face. Lily, half horrified and half delighted, took a moment to get her breath back. 'What's the counter curse?' she asked, trying not to laugh.

'Liberacorpus,' came Severus' muffled and furious voice from inside his robes.

She cast it, and he flumped to the ground in an ungainly heap. Disentangling himself from his robes, he looked up at her. 'It's just as well you're my best friend,' he said, shaking his head.

'I did it though, Sev! First time I've got a non-verbal to work.' She was staring at her wand as though only now realising its powers. 'It must be a really good spell, to be that easy to learn.' She held out a hand and helped him up, dusting off his robes.

'It probably is,' said Severus, smiling now. 'Anyway, you can use it to defend yourself now, if you ever need to. Just make sure you keep it a secret. Once lots of people know how to do it, it loses its effect.'

'Give over, Sev,' she said, linking arms with him again. 'You know you can trust me.'