Slugging It Out

Chapter 1 - A Slytherin Man

At Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the high table was somewhat depleted. Many of the staff chose to leave over the long summer holiday, or were absorbed in their own interests. Horace Slughorn, the Potions Master, had just returned from an agreeable break in Germany, staying in the fairytale castle of one of his former protégés, and was looking forward to telling his colleagues all about it over dinner. He was therefore annoyed to discover only Professor Vector at the table, head buried in a large book.

Thankfully, a couple of minutes after he sat down, Minerva McGonagall appeared. She usually remained in the school over the summer, having piles of administrative work, not least preparing for the new intake of first years. Slughorn noticed that his colleague, usually prim and tidy, was looking rather frazzled. Wisps of hair escaped from under her hat and she sighed heavily as she arrived at the table.

'What's wrong, Minerva? If you don't mind me saying, you look as though you've been teaching for a day,' said Slughorn jovially, pouring her some wine as she sank into the chair beside him.

'Believe me, Horace, a day teaching would be far preferable to the day I've just had.' She took a long draught of the wine. Seeing his curious look, she elaborated. 'I took a Muggleborn student to Diagon Alley to buy her school things, one of the new first years.'

'Ah, I thought you enjoyed such trips, Minerva?' Slughorn enquired.

'Oh, normally I do. The girl herself was delightful. Red headed enough to be a Weasley, bright little thing. Very pleasant parents too, sensible people, full of interest in our world. But the girl - Lily Evans - insisted on bringing along this strange little half-blood by the name of Severus Snape.'

'Who?' Slughorn frowned, trying to work out the name.

'Oh, you'll not have heard of him. His mother is Eileen Prince - one of yours, I believe Horace?'

He cast his mind back, running through an endless stream of faces and names. 'Prince... Prince... no, it escapes me. Not one of my Slug Club?'

McGonagall rolled her eyes. She did not approve of Horace's favoured group of students. 'I have no idea, Horace. I meant a Slytherin.'

'Oh, well, lots of children are in Slytherin. If you say she was, then I'm sure must have been. Anyway, you were telling me about the boy. Septimus Snide?'

'Severus Snape. A strange child, if I ever saw one. He had identified the Evans girl as a witch a while back, and has spent the intervening time filling her head with stories about our world. Mostly nonsense. It was clear to me that he hasn't got much more idea than she does. I got the impression his mother has renounced magic and apart from a few snippets of information she's given her son over the years, he's practically been brought up a Muggle.'

'Doesn't sound like a good Slytherin girl to me,' harrumphed Slughorn.

She gave a sigh. 'People have their reasons, I suppose. Anyway, he's a rather unlovely boy, I have to say. The first thing he asked me was if I'd been in Slytherin. When I told him I was head of Gryffindor, he sniggered, and informed me both himself and Miss Evans were going to be in Slytherin and he couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be in another house, especially Gryffindor! The cheek of it! A boy of eleven, I ask you.' She shook her head.

'I like him already,' he joked.

'I did feel rather sorry for the boy though. Beneath the bravado he's clearly an unhappy child. He barely had enough money for the essentials, we had to get everything second hand, and you could see he hated that. It made it all rather awkward. It didn't help that the Evans girl has an older sister - a Muggle - with whom Severus seemed to have an ongoing antagonism. She took every opportunity to sneer at his misfortune.'

'Jealous, I expect,' suggested Slughorn, helping himself to more Yorkshire puddings.

'Oh, definitely. It must be horrible of course, to be brought into the wonders of our world, and know you can never be a part of it. Anyway, he got his revenge on her when it came to choosing the wands.' She hesitated. 'Up until then, I'd just thought of him as an ill-favoured little lad, a bit pitiable. But... well, I've never seen anything quite like it before. It made me a little uneasy.'

For the first time, Slughorn stopped eating and gave McGonagall his full attention. 'What happened?'

'We went to Ollivander's and Evans chose her wand. Severus and the sister were bickering in the background the whole way through. Then it was his turn. I've never seen a child take so long to find a wand! He must have tried twenty. I think he was beginning to panic that he wouldn't find one at all. Then we found the right one and it was all much as usual, pretty sparks trailing from the end, him grinning from ear to ear. So I was just about to take it off him and get us out of there - Ollivander's is so stuffy in summer - when he turned to the sister, waved the wand at her, and before we knew it, her shoelaces were tied together and her hair standing up on end.'

'You think he did it deliberately?'

McGonagall spread her hands. 'Well, he swore it was accidental magic, but I looked him in the eye and I know he did it on purpose. He used no incantation, made no apparent effort. I know some children do gain a degree of control and deliberation over their magic before starting at school, but he was so calm about it. And I'm pretty sure he'd never used a wand before.' She shifted uneasily before adding, 'There was a malicious glint in his eye that I really didn't like.'

The Potions master considered this, before shrugging. 'A glint in the eye doesn't mean much, Minerva. Intentional magic at that age isn't unheard of, as you say. It doesn't mean there's anything... special about the boy. I'm sure there's nothing sinister about him. Just an eleven year old boy playing a bit of silly prank on an annoying sister of a friend. No, nothing remarkable there.' Looking rather disappointed, he picked up his fork again and returned his attention to his roast beef.

'Hmm - perhaps. You haven't met him yet,' sniffed McGonagall. 'Anyway, just when I thought that we were nearly done and I could get back and put my feet up, the boy managed to run off...'

*****

The day had started so well for Severus. To start with, he'd felt drunk with excitement to find himself in Diagon Alley. His mother had described it to him a few times, but nothing could have prepared him for the thrill of the real thing. The wizards in robes and pointed hats, striding along with wands in hands. The shops full of creations beyond his imagination. Owls swooping overhead holding letters in their talons. Goblins with tufty ears irritably making their way into Gringotts Bank.

He managed to take Lily's hand, and the pair of them entered the magical world together, running to press their noses to shop windows, tugging each other this way and that as they bounced from one wonder to another. By contrast, Petunia hung back, sticking close to her parents, looking around her with an expression of unhappiness. Severus was convinced it was the best day of his life.

But things had gone downhill when they reached the bank. Once their Muggle money had been converted into hefty wizard coins it was painfully obvious that Severus had barely half the amount the Evanses had converted. Whilst Lily bought brand new things, the thin lipped teacher McGonagall steered Severus in the direction of the second hand goods. He ended up with battered textbooks, a rusty cauldron, and faded robes that were slightly too large. Nevertheless, he refused to change back into his Muggle clothes, and tripped along in his overlong robes.

After they'd purchased their wands, Lily begged to be allowed to buy a pet. 'It says an owl or a cat or a toad - please can I have a cat, Mum? I've got to have a cat - witches always have cats!'

Mrs Evans looked weakly at Professor McGonagall, who said, 'Children often enjoy having a pet at school, it can help prevent homesickness. And a familiar can be useful in practising some spells.' She cast a quick look at Severus. 'But by no means essential.'

They headed off down the road again, Lily chattering to her mother about the type of cat she wanted. Severus fell back, feeling the way his robes swished around his legs, watching two elderly wizards in bright purple robes pass by. 'Nonsense man! You can't make a good Pepperup Potion without a dash of aconite!' cried one.

'Merlin's beard, you have some funny ideas Perceval! I still swear by nettle juice,' boomed his companion. Severus hung back, longing to be part of their conversation. He imagined himself and Lily having a similar discussion, his lips moving slightly as he acted out his own part.

'Talking to yourself now?' said a low, snide voice. He looked round, blushing, to see Petunia had sidled up alongside him. Her face was sour and sullen. 'Even here, amongst all these weirdoes, you don't fit in. You're the oddest thing of all.'

'I fit in better than you do, Muggle,' he hissed. 'You're the one that people are staring at, in your Muggle clothes.'

'You were wearing normal clothes too until half an hour ago. At least mine fit.' She gave a nasty smile. 'Aren't you worried that you're not going to be good enough to go to this school? It took you ages to find a wand. Lily got one on the third try. I was starting to think they were going to give up on you altogether and send you to St Bart's after all.'

'But once I got the right one I soon sorted you out, Muggle. Shame you didn't leave your hair like that - best I've ever seen you look.'

'So you can play some pathetic little pranks, how clever. Obviously you must be the greatest wizard ever. You're no better than the other scallywags down Spinner's End. Pulling hair and messing with shoelaces is cheap and silly, just because you did it with a wand doesn't change that. Eddie Willets pushed me over last year, I don't see him becoming a brain surgeon.'

Her words hit home, although Severus tried to cover it up. 'You're just jealous,' he mumbled angrily, wishing he could get his wand back from McGonagall. Then he'd show stupid Petunia how good a wizard he was. At least, he hoped he would. What if she was right, and his magical powers were weak? Would he arrive at Hogwarts and find himself bottom of the class?

'Jealous? Of you? I don't think so. Even your own parents don't like you, so you had to come and tag along with us, like a bad smell that no one wants. We're embarrassed to be seen with you.'

Furious, he turned away from her to look in the window of a broomshop. 'At least I'll be able to fly one of these soon, whilst you're still wobbling round on your bicycle,' he called after Petunia's retreating back. He felt anger pulsing through him, that red mist of rage that sometimes threatened to overcome him. He tried to focus on the brooms in the window instead. They were amazing, sleek and aerodynamic looking, nothing like the plastic-handled nylon-bristled thing his mother used to sweep the floor.

He took his time examining the brooms, letting his thumping heart slow down and the anger subside, then wandered as slowly as he could on down the street. The Evanses and McGonagall were some distance ahead of him, Lily apparently still chattering to her mother. He stood for a moment, watching the way the sun turned her hair a brilliant copper. She hadn't noticed that he'd gone. He felt a sudden surge of painful emotion, a kind of angry longing, and forced himself to look away. His eye was caught by movement in the window of another little shop, set back from the main street. There was a display of model planets, orbited by tiny moons. Rubbing his eyes, he went over to have a closer look.

When he turned away from the window, calm again, the rest of his party had gone. His heart gave a lurch and suddenly he felt very cold despite the sunshine. He stared at the spot he'd last seen them, as though they might reappear, then looked frantically up and down the street, desperate to see the sun catch in Lily's hair, or the top of McGongall's tall black hat. He'd even have been glad at that moment to see Petunia.

He was alone in the middle of a world that - whilst undeniably wonderful - was also alien. He didn't even have his wand, since McGonagall had firmly put it in a box and insisted on carrying the bag. What if someone challenged him for being there? Would they ask his name and realise he was the son of a Muggle? He knew that not all wizards looked kindly on Muggles or their magical offspring.

Worse than that, he could already imagine the smug look on Petunia's face when she realised he was missing, or got brought back in shame. What if they'd finished shopping and left without him? They'd never really wanted to bring him along in the first place. Maybe Lily, now she had encountered the wizarding world for herself, wouldn't be interested in hearing about it through Severus any more. Maybe they hadn't even noticed he'd gone. Perhaps they'd get all the way home and only later that night Mrs Evans would sit up in bed and say, 'What happened to Severus?!'

Severus began to run, turning at impulse down a side road. Whether he was running away from or trying to find Professor McGongall and the Evanses, he didn't know. Unaccustomed to wearing robes, which flapped around his legs, unaccustomed to running at all, his foot caught on a cobblestone and he fell headlong. The shock of hitting the unrelenting ground knocked the breath out of him. For a moment he lay flat on his face, wondering if he should get up again. As the adrenaline drained out of him, his knee began to throb painfully.

Shivering, he sat up, sniffing hard to hold back the tears, and looked around at the unfamiliar shops. He gulped and snuffled, as a shadow fell over him. He looked up an impossibly long way, to a man silhouetted above him. 'Are you all right?' asked a deep voice.

Severus couldn't manage to answer, but tried to get up. The stranger reached out a hand to help him. He stared fascinated at the fingers, which were long and slender with clean short nails. He realised he was shaking as he clung onto the arm of his rescuer. The man crouched down, revealing a narrow face and light grey eyes. He had very long blond hair, tied back loosely so it cascaded down the back of his midnight blue robes. 'Where's your mother?' he asked.

'At home,' whispered Severus, awestruck.

'You're not here on your own, are you?' asked the man, scrutinising Severus closely. Severus felt painfully aware of his shabby, too-big robes and his plain, bony face.

He shook his head, wondering how to describe the complex situation in which had arrived. 'My friend - her Mam -' he spluttered.

'Don't worry, we'll find them.' The stranger noticed Severus' knee, which was now oozing a bright trail of blood. 'Here, let me fix that.' He removed a wand from within his robes, made of dark shiny wood, which Severus longed to touch. The man placed the wand against his knee and whispered a strange word. He felt an intense tingling, like pins and needles, and when the wand was withdrawn there was no more cut, just a pinkish silver mark.

'Wow!' he breathed, rubbing it with his fingers. He could feel a raised bump but no pain. 'Thank you, sir.'

'Just a little medi-magic, nothing special,' said the stranger with a shrug. 'When one plays a lot of Quidditch, one often finds healing spells come in handy. Of course, I shouldn't really do magic in the holidays, but they'll never detect it in Diagon Alley, too much around. It can be our little secret.' He winked.

'Severus!' The sharp shout from behind made Severus jump guiltily and look around to see Professor McGonagall hurrying towards him. With her long black robes and big black hat she looked rather funny, like some sort of big strange bird flapping along the street. He had to suppress a sudden giggle that might have been relief.

McGonagall was not laughing. 'Whatever were you thinking, going off on your own like that! What would your father say? Don't you know how dangerous it can be for a little boy on his own? Come along, we must get back to Mr and Mrs Evans.' She turned to his rescuer. 'Malfoy, thank you for your assistance.'

'That's quite all right, Professor,' replied the man, with a charming smile. He addressed Severus, 'So, are you getting your Hogwarts things?'

Severus nodded, struck dumb again by the realisation that the man was in fact a boy - an older boy, but still at school none the less. If all the other boys at Hogwarts were like him, Severus would always be found lacking.

'Well, see you at school soon then. I hope you're a Slytherin man. You look like a Slytherin man to me.'

Professor McGonagall made a shooing motion with her hands, though she looked like she was trying not to smile. 'Get along with you Lucius, trying to poach students before they even start!' She caught Severus' sleeve and tugged him away. As he jogged along behind McGonagall, barely able to keep up, he cast one last look back over his shoulder. Lucius Malfoy was watching their retreat with a look of amusement on his face. Severus managed a smile back, before McGonagall whisked him around the corner. He knew already that he was, without a doubt, a Slytherin man.

*****

Severus next saw Lucius Malfoy at Hogwarts, after he'd been sorted into Slytherin. Reeling from the experience, he was relieved to see the older boy sitting at the table, and made a beeline for him as the only familiar face. Malfoy looked younger than he had at Diagon, dressed in school robes and black hat, with a prefect badge on his chest, but he still seemed to ooze confidence and sophistication as he greeted Severus warmly. 'I said you looked like a Slytherin man!' he commented triumphantly, shaking his hand. Severus nodded silently, awed by Malfoy and overwhelmed by the situation.

Sitting on the bench in front of the long empty table, his feet not quite touching the floor, Severus risked a look back over his shoulder to try and get a glimpse of Lily. She was at the Gryffindor table, and already seemed to be surrounded by other children. His heart sank. It would be just like their old school, Lily separate and remote and surrounded by others. He'd thought it would be different. He'd imagined him and Lily together, best friends, sharing meals and games and lessons. The disappointment was almost too much to bear.

To make matters worse, the two horrible boys he argued with on the train had also been sorted into Gryffindor. The messy haired boy with glasses appeared to be called James Potter, whilst the boy whose whole family had been in Slytherin had answered to the name of Sirius Black. It had taken a very long time for the Sorting Hat to decide where to place him, and there had been an audible gasp when the Hat finally assigned him to Gryffindor. Sirius Black himself had looked a bit surprised, glancing over at the Slytherin table before making his way to Gryffindor, but he seemed to have got over the shock and was already chattering away to the Potter boy as though they'd known each other all their lives. How could it be fair that those idiots got to sit with Lily whilst he could not?

The rest of the Sorting and Professor Dumbledore's speech passed in a blur. The Headmaster might as well have been speaking Mermish. Suddenly Severus didn't want to be at Hogwarts any more. Seven years spread ahead of him, lonely endless years watching Lily on the other side of the Hall, surrounded by horrible creeps like those boys from the train. Not that the new Slytherins seemed any better. He was never going to fit in with them. He was never going to fit in anywhere.

Tears were pricking his eyes now, to his irritation, and he barely noticed the tables in front of them filling magically with food. The hubbub of voices around him reminded him of the playground, not a place he'd ever enjoyed. The other first years were introducing themselves to the rest of the Slytherins around the table. They had loud, confident voices. Severus felt relieved that he was sitting a little way down the table from them and didn't have to try and make small talk. One of the boys, a plump, self-satisfied looking lad, was busily telling everyone about his flying prowess. The others were eagerly joining in with their own broomstick related exploits.

Beside him, Lucius Malfoy addressed a pretty blonde girl with an upturned nose sitting opposite them. 'So, Cissy, how about your cousin going into Gryffindunce? Breaking the family tradition.'

The girl gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She looked rather sad, Severus thought, despite her beauty. 'Yes. Aunt Walburga won't be happy.' She took a deep breath. 'It's the last thing we need right now,' she added, eyes darting furtively, and then blushed as though she'd said something she shouldn't have.

Lucius reached across the table and patted her hand. 'Come on Cissy, it could have been worse. He could have ended up a Huffleduffer.'

She made a strangled sound. 'Don't, Lew. He's going to be mixing with all sorts over there, blood traitors and mudbloods...'

A large boy with a faint moustache sitting a few places down the table suddenly joined the conversation. 'Well, I don't see what difference it makes. After all, Andromeda was a Slytherin and she still managed to hook up with a mudblood.' His words were met with a small pool of silence by those around. Everyone seemed to hold their breath, and suddenly all eyes were on Cissy.

After a few seconds, she said, 'I don't know to whom you are referring,' in a very cold voice, and put down her napkin before leaving the table.

Lucius started to call her name, but two of the girls sitting either side were already getting up to follow her out. 'Nice one, Roddy,' said one angrily, to the large boy.

Several pairs of accusing eyes turned to Roddy, who blushed slightly but held his ground. 'What? What did I say? It's true, isn't it?'

'She doesn't need to be reminded of it,' hissed Lucius. 'For goodness sake, Rodolphus, she's ashamed enough as it is, without everyone talking about it. It's not her fault her sister's a blood traitor.'

'Maybe not, but if little Sirius goes the same way, that'll be two in one generation. And let's admit, Sirius has always been something of a 'black sheep'.' He snickered at this last comment.

'You'd say that to Bella, would you?' asked Lucius, his voice quiet but his eyes angry.

The large boy Roddy now paled. 'I say, old chap, no need for that; you know Bella... It was just a little friendly banter.'

'Well, next time you want to engage in 'friendly banter', leave my girlfriend out of it.' Lucius turned away from Roddy and began to help himself to food. Roddy, still looking taken aback, also busied himself with the dishes in front of him.

Severus was left rather bemused by this conversation, although he felt silent dread at the mentions of mudbloods and blood traitors. He knew from his mother about the importance of blood purity - it was one of the few pieces of advice she'd given her son. Keep your mouth shut about your Muggle Dad if you know what's good for you. It wouldn't be hard to follow - he was hardly likely to start singing his father's praises. But he hadn't realised just how big a deal it was. His mother had implied it wouldn't matter that he didn't know much about magic, but hearing the conversation around the table he realised he'd entered a whole new world - one he knew nothing about. It was hard to think of a single conversation he could safely have without betraying himself as an outsider.

'Come on Severus, tuck in.' Lucius Malfoy was looking at his empty plate. 'You just reach out and help yourself to whatever you want.'

Unable to prevent the tears that were pushing at the lower lids of his eyes, Severus avoided Malfoy's cool gaze and nodded. He wanted to be left alone. He wasn't hungry, he didn't want to sit and listen to the other students talking about how they had pure blood and already knew everything about magic whilst he, Severus, knew so little. He didn't want to sit and know Lily was there, just across the hall from him, but might as well be on the moon for all the contact he'd get with her.

After a moment, Malfoy placed a hand on his back. 'Come on now, it's always a bit daunting, first time away from home. You'll get the hang of it. We all felt worried when we started.' Severus was pretty sure Lucius Malfoy had never felt worried about anything in his life. The older boy continued, 'You should have something to eat, it will make you feel better.'

He shook his head, glad that Malfoy was speaking softly and not drawing attention. He felt the pressure on his back increase slightly. Then Malfoy said more loudly, 'I think I'll go down and check on Cissy. Severus here isn't feeling too well, too many sweets on the train I expect. I'll take him with me, show him the dorm. Fortescue, you don't mind showing the others, do you?'

Malfoy steered him out of the Great Hall and led him through a seemingly never-ending maze of corridors and staircases, down into the dungeons. The prefect kept up a running commentary along the way, pointing out classrooms and landmarks, reminding Severus of the way to turn at various portraits or suits of armour to find his way. The fact that Severus didn't say a word didn't seem to bother Malfoy in the slightest.

Eventually they arrived at the Slytherin common room. Malfoy showed him how to get in and made him repeat the password, before leading him to a little dormitory. Severus recognised his mother's tatty old trunk standing at the end of one of the beds. It looked horrible and shabby compared to those next to the others. Several of them had cages on top, from which owls eyed him beadily. He shuddered. Lucius looked at him again. 'Why don't you get some sleep? You'll feel much better in the morning. Breakfast starts at seven thirty, first lesson is at quarter to nine. You'll get your timetable at breakfast. Leave yourself enough time to come back here and collect the right books and things for the morning. Remember how to get back to the Great Hall?'

Gathering his wits, he whispered tonelessly, 'Left at the picture of the battle, right at the armour with the purple plumed helmet.'

'Good,' said Malfoy, sounding satisfied. 'Well, I'll leave you to get changed for bed. Bathroom is just outside here, see? Next door on the left. Word of advice - don't leave your toothbrush in there. Not unless you want some unpleasant jinxes put on it. Good night, then.'

'Good night,' he whispered. A part of him wanted to run after Lucius, grab him and beg him to stay with him, not to leave him alone in this strange room. But he didn't, and the older boy left without a backwards glance. Severus thought of Lily upstairs in the Great Hall, laughing and chatting with her new friends. He lay down on this bed without undressing and stared miserably at the ceiling. Why couldn't life have allowed him this one small thing? Why couldn't she have been in Slytherin too? And how was he going to manage without her?