Slightly Off-Kilter 2 (or What's With the Rubber Duck?)

The consequences weren't what Severus or Albus were prepared to deal with. Gayle never returned from her walk with Draco Malfoy. By dinnertime, a search party had been sent for the missing woman and student, to no avail. No magical signature or physical trace of the two could be found. The worst was assumed by most of the staff and student body.

Albus and Severus had differing opinions of both Draco and Gayle's whereabouts and Severus specifically wasn't going to get much sleep until he knew she was all right. Unfortunately, such news wasn't forthcoming from any quarter.

Gayle and Draco walked deep into the Forbidden Forest, Draco chatting easily with her about the great work she was going to do for the cause. She contained a smirk, thinking to herself that he didn't have a clue how right he was. Wrong cause, but right idea.

Gayle had been through the Forbidden Forest many times and probably knew it as well as Hagrid or Albus Dumbledore but even she was confused after a time where Draco was leading her. Nothing was looking familiar and any landmarks that she spotted began to look like all the others she'd mentally marked.

Frustrated, she decided it was time to see exactly what Mr. Spoiled Rich Boy was up to. Gayle faked a stumble and let out a howl of pain. "OUCHIE! That HURT!"

Draco stopped his chatter mid-sentence and turned to see what the problem was. Sensing that it was now or never, Gayle grabbed the boy's arm and hissed in an insane-evil manner, "Where are you taking me, young Death Eater?"

"Draco is not a Death Eater yet and if he keeps getting caught off-guard so easily, he won't become one either," came a familiar drawling voice from off to the right. Gayle spun to come shoulder to nose with Draco's esteemed parent, Lucius Malfoy. "Feeling spry today, are we, Miss Hammersmith?"

"Why, Mr. Malfoy, your greatness, I'm so -" Gayle's sentence was abruptly cut off with a pained gasp when Lucius' hand clenched on her arm harshly.

"I'm afraid the little ruse isn't going to work any more." Lucius gave her a toothy grin. "However, your attempt is indeed interesting enough that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would like to speak with you and find out exactly what you're up to." He shoved her in front him roughly and began forcibly escorting her as they walked. "Shall we depart to more comfortable environs, my dear? I would hate for you to be late for your appointment."

"What appoint-" Gayle's sentence was cut off once again by a shaft of bright light and their sudden disappearance from the forest.

They reappeared in a darkened room lit only by a roaring fire in the fireplace. Cobwebs hung from high rafters and in the corners of the room, giving the room a spooky haunted look. Gayle involuntarily shivered, wondering what she'd managed to get herself into this time.

"Ah, Gayle Hammersmith, not quite as insane as when we last met." Gayle shrank against Lucius Malfoy in horror as Lord Voldemort stepped from behind a tall column that gleamed orange and dusty white in the firelight. "Or were you faking then as well? Interesting theory that I'll have to test eventually. In the meantime, my dear, please have a seat and chat a while. Lucius, would you and Draco please excuse us? I would like to speak with Miss Hammersmith in private."

Gayle had a wild urge to grab Lucius or Draco's arm and plead with them to stay with her, but she knew that it was a futile effort. Even if Draco felt sorry enough for her to want to do so, he wouldn't without risking the wrath of his father and Voldemort. Lucius would only laugh and shake her off. Instead she straightened her shoulders and sauntered with more bravery than she felt to a chair by the fire. She pulled an ottoman of mahogany and silver crushed velvet over and propped her feet up, ignoring the film of dust that sullied her pant legs.

"You need a new housekeeper, Lord V. The current one is quite unacceptable," she informed him primly.

Voldemort watched her for a moment before rumbling a small laugh. "Yes, perhaps you'll have to point out her deficiencies when she returns...if she returns." He arched an eyebrow at her when she only sniffed her disapproval. "A bit overconfident, aren't we?" he asked.

Gayle merely smiled at him, ignoring the queasiness in her stomach and the threat of throwing up her stomach's contents on his robes. "Not at all," she told him. "I'm merely happy to know something that you don't, and that you're willing to let me live long enough to impart." Voldemort's smile grew broad. "For a price, of course," she added.

Voldemort laughed again, a less amused sound than before. "Indeed? This should prove very interesting. What do you have that I need that will keep you alive? And how do you know I want you dead?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Gayle informed him haughtily. "I was a traitor, I'm still a liability."

Voldemort shrugged as he sat down across from her. "Not particularly."

Gayle's eyes sparked briefly and she saw Voldemort tense warily. "Then I'm at least a formidable opponent."

"I will grant you that, but only for a short time would you be so. You can die like any other wizard."

Gayle leaned forward. "What if I said I could give you a very nice gift, a nice enough gift that you'd be willing to allow both I and Severus Snape safe conduct."

Voldemort shook his head in wonder. "Most extraordinary, safe conduct for you and Snape. He ranks high on my list of irritating people to get rid of, my dear, right after Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter. I assure you, it would have to be one hell of a gift."

"Oh it is," Gayle assured her opponent. "I can give you both Potter and Dumbledore neatly gift-wrapped and quite helpless within two weeks."

"Two weeks."

"Either you need a hearing aid or a cotton swab, because you're repeating everything." Gayle smirked despite her inward terror at the darkening expression of anger on Lord Voldemort's inhuman features.

"You have exactly two minutes to tell me how you will accomplish this miraculous deed or Snape will be digging a grave for your lifeless corpse after he digs his own."

Deciding on one last gamble, Gayle replied, "All I require is Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy and two weeks. I'll tell you where to meet us and the exact when of the meeting but I want your solemn vow, on the grave of your mother, that you'll keep your word regarding safe conduct of Severus Snape and I if I succeed." Gayle knew that making Voldemort vow on his mother's grave was as if sealing the deal in blood.

Voldemort considered her for several long, nerve-wracking minutes. "And why exactly should I trust you? You've not proven to be trustworthy before."

Gayle looked furtively around and leaned forward conspiratorily. She whispered, "Because the only way to Albus Dumbledore is through someone he trusts and that person is Severus Snape. I pretty much have control of Severus. He's a ball of reluctant romantic mush with me, and easily manipulated. Harry Potter taking you out was a freak accident, not something that's going to happen again. I had a lot of time to think in the loony bin and I assure you, it wasn't all insane thoughts. Some were quite lucid and disturbing. Thoughts like what you'd do to me and Severus once you came back, as I knew you would."

"I see."

"That I have a little spell that you are absolutely going to adore," Gayle added. "One that will pretty much get rid of every worthless Muggle on this planet and leave it for the ones who deserve it."

"And what spell is that, Miss Hammersmith?" Voldemort was back to being amused again.

"The Empty Ka."

Gayle smugly noted that Voldemort wasn't looking so amused anymore; he was stunned.

Severus wandered mindlessly into the Great Hall for breakfast, ignoring the looks from students and staff alike. His mind was concentrating on where he should be looking for Gayle when the subject of his thoughts cleared her throat before he sat in her lap at the head table.

"Gayle!" he almost shouted, to the titters of several students and teachers. He grabbed her by the shoulders and slapped a kiss on her mouth, giving her a startle. It took a moment to realize what he'd done, in public no less, and scowled at her ferociously. He pulled her to a side door that led to a room off the Great Hall and all but threw her in.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Gayle wrapped herself around him and cooed, "Baby, I have just made the deal of a lifetime and you are our ticket to ride to not being whacked by Death Eaters."

Gayle smugly noted that Severus wasn't angry anymore; he was stunned.

She had that affect on men.