By the Numbers

The tension around the school in the week preceding the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Slytherin was intense. The players themselves mostly stayed out of it, but their devoted followers were another matter altogether. By late Friday afternoon, I was fed up with the whole thing, having broken up at least five scuffles that day alone. I was trying to take advantage of the break in classes to reorganize my lesson plans when hysterical shrieks from the corridor drew me out of my classroom yet again.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" I had to physically separate Sam Bradley, one of my fourth year Gryffindors, and a sixth year Slytherin whose name I thought might be either Jack or Jim. They both appeared to have leeks growing out of their ears. Where they had learned such an impractical hex was beyond me, but I hoped it was reversible.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves, behaving like this over a Quidditch match," I scolded them. "Fifty points from each of you, and it'll be a hundred apiece from anyone involved in the next fight I catch." I shot the most severe look I could manage at the crowd of onlookers before focusing it on the most recent offenders. "You two go see if Madame Pomfrey can sort you out." I had to shout so they could hear me through the leeks. The crowd of students scattered, nearly running down Remus as he approached.

"Rough day?" He smiled sympathetically. He pulled out his wand and made a perfect red rose bloom from the tip, which he then offered to me with a flourish. I plucked it and smiled as he returned his wand to his belt.

"You're very sweet," I said, inhaling the exquisite fragrance. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." He grinned, an amorous gleam in his eyes. "I imagine you'd rather not have dinner in the Great Hall with all those noisy students."

"Not if you have a better idea." I liked where I thought he was headed with this.

"Your room or mine?" He gestured for me to lead the way.

"Hmm. Mine's closer." I grinned at him. "Race you?"

"Miss Vector, are suggesting that I defy school rules and run in the corridors?"

"Certainly not, Mr. Lupin. I would never suggest anything that would improve the odds for a competitor."

He caught me with an arm around my waist just I reached my door He handed me my bag, which he had retrieved from my classroom before following me. I hadn't even noticed that he wasn't right behind me the whole time. "Show off," I laughed.

"Well, I was rooting for you to win." He leaned toward me, just brushing his lips against mine as he reached around me for the doorknob. He pulled me with him into the room, closing the door behind us and pressing me against it.

"Why? Is there a prize?" I was already quite out of breath, and he had barely touched me yet. Of course, I had just run down three flights of stairs and two longish corridors.

"Of course there is," he murmured. "It's in here somewhere."

"Hmm. I don't recall seeing anything of the sort when I put these clothes on this morning." Books spilled from my bag as I let it go. "I should pick those up. They're library books."

"Leave them," he growled softly. Shocking attitude from the usually meticulous Remus. I immediately forgot all about books, along with everything else in the world.

"Remus?" I asked breathlessly when I could speak again. "How do you always know exactly how to make me feel better, no matter what sort of mood I'm in?"

He gently drew a finger along my cheek and looked at me in that contemplative way he had. He smiled when I kissed the crease that appeared between his eyes. "I just like being the one who makes you smile," he said.

*****

I was alone in the bed when I woke sometime in the middle of the night. I rolled over and saw Remus' outline against the window. I slid out of bed as quietly as I could, although I was sure I wouldn't be able to sneak up on him. I was right about that, as he didn't even turn around when I got close. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." I wrapped my arms around him from behind. "Are you all right?"

"I was just watching Hermione Granger's cat patrolling the grounds. He's sort of funny, with that big brushy tail sticking straight up like he owns the place." His chuckle turned into a small gasp as I slipped my hands inside the front of his robe. "Your hands are freezing."

The spring days were nice, but it was still chilly at night. I warmed my hands against his chest for a moment, then ran my fingers lightly over the web of scars that covered him. I already knew their pattern by heart. There was one I had always wanted to ask him about : teeth marks high on his chest, where it didn't seem that even a wolf could have bitten himself.

"Is this were you were bitten?" I felt him shudder under my touch.

"Yes," he whispered, holding my hand in place over the scar. "That's what made me what I am."

"Such a small thing." It was only a little larger than a Galleon.

"Well, I was considerably smaller when it happened. I don't have any memory of it at all, but my mother told me I nearly bled to death. There have been times when I wished that I had." He shivered again.

I could feel his heart beating against my hand as I rubbed my face against the back of his robe to wipe off the tears I couldn't stop.

He twisted around to return my embrace. "You're cold." He shifted the robe he was wearing so that it was wrapped around me, too. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm glad you didn't die. You never would have found me, if you were dead."

"The most mind-boggling statements come out of your mouth when you get emotional." He smiled and kissed away the tears still on my face. "Just for the record, I'm glad I didn't die, too. Who would take you down to the kitchen in the middle of the night when you miss a meal, if I weren't here?"

To my chagrin, my stomach had just rumbled loudly. "Well, it's your fault I missed dinner."

Remus grinned. "I didn't hear you complaining." He held me close and kissed me thoroughly. "Get dressed and we'll go find something to eat."

I glanced out the window as I pulled a jumper over my head. I thought I saw something odd in the shadows at the edge of the forest, but it was gone when I looked closer. I shook my head and blinked. There were many strange creatures in the Forbidden Forest, and sometimes they wandered out into the open, but as far as I knew, there weren't any bears. Possibly it was just a very large stray dog. More likely, it had been nothing but the shadows and moonlight playing a trick on my eyes.

*****

"Finally!" I spotted Cassie's owl gliding toward me through the mass of post owls.

Remus looked up from his eggs. "What? Oh, owl from Cassandra." He grinned. I would often share some of the more interesting parts of her missives with him, which never failed to amuse him.

"I haven't heard from her all week, and I've been absolutely dying to know what happened between her and Severus after dinner last Sunday." Even had I been inclined to ask Severus (which I most certainly was not), I hadn't seen him except at a distance. He came to meals late or not at all, avoided the staff room, and would probably have skipped a staff meeting had there been one.

I opened the letter eagerly, as Nike hopped in front of Remus and hooted at him enthusiastically. Remus always made it a point to share his breakfast, and was thus a great favorite of Cassie's owl.

Anna,

That Severus is some piece of work. I don't understand him at all. I've always thought there must be

something about him, since your father has always been so fond of him, and worked so hard to fix him up with you. He (your dad, not Severus) adores you so much I couldn't imagine him choosing a man with such emotional problems for you.

Seriously, Anna, he went completely off his rocker when I told him off for blabbing about Remus. He is just totally irrational where Remus is concerned. I'm not sure why, but it isn't completely about you (although you do seem to factor into it). He's really hard to See, it's almost as though he could block me. Of course, I had just eaten quite a lot, and wasn't really at full strength.

At any rate, be careful around him. I'm not sure what he's playing at, but he's hiding something. Not that he's a bad person (I was rather beginning to like him. He's sort of amusing, in a strange sort of way.) , he's just a bit unbalanced.

Enjoy the rest of your term. I'm off to the States for a promotional tour. I'll send you something American. See you in July.

Cass

"I don't know how she can write so much and actually say so little." I frowned as I handed the letter to Remus.

He looked amused. "Well, she does get paid quite well for that skill, doesn't she." His smile faded to concern as he read Cassie's warning. "Hmm. I think it would be sensible if you just avoid being alone near him. I'd like to see him try anything around me." The last bit came out in a near growl.

I realized suddenly that I was very much attracted to this somewhat rougher side of him that became so evident as the full moon approached. "Remus? You don't really want to go to the Quidditch match, do you?"

"Of course I do. It's the final. Gryffindor could win the Cup! You love Quidditch. What would you rather-" Well, it was still rather early in the morning, considering that we'd sat up most of the night after we had raided the kitchen, talking about anything and everything, and sharing stories of our childhoods that didn't involve death or dismemberment. I could forgive him for being a bit slow on the uptake. "Oh." His ears turned red as I pressed my leg against his under the table. "Well. That would be fun, too."

"You're right. We can't miss Gryffindor's chance at the Cup." I swallowed the rest of my orange juice and smiled at him.

Remus shook his head slightly and smiled back. "You're a terrible tease, you know."

"I am not," I said indignantly. "I just want to go to the match first. It should be very exciting."

"Of course." He glanced around the nearly deserted Great Hall. Only a few students remained, finishing their breakfast before heading out to the Quidditch pitch. Filius Flitwick was still seated at the opposite end of the staff table, eating cornflakes. He gave Remus and me a cheery wave when he saw us still there as well. We both smiled and waved back at him, as Remus said softly, "I very much want to kiss you right now, but that's just going to have to wait until after the match, isn't it?"

"Well, it really wouldn't be proper to start something you couldn't finish here in front of Filius, would it?" I brushed my hand across the top of his, under the guise of reaching for another piece of toast.

"Ew!" Remus had startled me by grabbing my hand suddenly, causing me to crush the toast into a buttery mess between my fingers. "I suppose that's what I get," I laughed, wiping my hand on my napkin.

"See, you are teasing me," he said, laughing too. "We're going to have terrible seats for the Quidditch match. I think we're nearly the last ones to leave." Filius had just gone, leaving us in the Hall with no one but a few dawdling students finishing their breakfast.

We were nearly across the deserted Entrance Hall, when I stopped Remus suddenly. "Wait, I want to show you something. Come here." I grabbed his arm, and pulled him behind a tapestry of Wendelin the Weird, where I proceeded to demonstrate that I was most certainly not a tease.

"We're missing the Quidditch match," Remus muttered.

"I don't care." I didn't care about anything just then, if only he would go on kissing me like that.

"Yes, you do. And so do I. We don't want to miss the most important match in recent Gryffindor history, do we?" He refastened the top button of my blouse, which he had just undone. "If we don't go now, we'll miss the whole thing. I take it back: You're not a tease. But you do drive me mad."

I smoothed his hair back to presentability. "As you do to me, my dear. Completely mad."

"How did you know this was here?" he asked, as we slipped out of the hidden alcove. "I had the impression you were a good girl when you were at school."

"I was a good girl," I said demurely. "Cassandra, on the other hand, was not."

"Well, I'm glad she shared her-" He stopped suddenly. "Oh, hello, Aurora," he said pleasantly.

"Remus. Anna." She was eying Remus in a speculative manner that put my dander up. "You're missing the Quidditch final."

"We were just on our way. Please, join us." As much as I loved him for his kindness and graciousness, he could overdo it sometimes.

"Thank you, no. I was on my way to join Sev in the Slytherin section, but I forgot my hat." She placed on her head the green and silver monstrosity she had been holding.

"That's a very, er, lively display of House pride. Isn't it, Anna?" He raised an eyebrow in my direction as the three of us walked toward the boisterously noisy Quidditch pitch.

"Yes, quite." It really was a dreadful hat; green velvet in the shape of a coiled serpent with sparkling silver scales catching the light and reflecting messages such as "Slytherin Rules" and "Go, Snakes!"

"Leaves us looking quite lacking, doesn't it?" He grinned rather wickedly as he pulled out his wand and produced two large scarlet rosettes, one of which he handed to me to hold for him while he pinned the other to the front of my robe. "Kill her with kindness," he whispered.

Remus knew only that I disliked Aurora Sinistra immensely. He had no idea that a large part of the reason was that she had called him an animal. If he had known, he would have dismissed it as nothing to get so upset over. I was not so forgiving.

Solely to please Remus, I directed a false smile in her direction and struggled to find something nice to say. "We should have planned ahead more, we didn't have time to prepare something so..." Hideous? Repulsive? Nauseating? "...festive as your hat."

"Thank you." She barely glanced at me, focusing her simpering smile at Remus. "Sure you don't want to join me in cheering on the winners? I'm sure I can squeeze you in over on the Slytherin side."

"No, thank you. I have faith that our Lions will do quite well for themselves. I think we can squeeze ourselves in right up there. Miss Vector?" He indicated the walkway up to the top of the stands. "After you." I couldn't resist shooting a small smile of triumph at Aurora as I passed her. She looked rather sour, as she headed off to join Severus in rooting for what turned out to be the losing team.

It was the dirtiest, most underhanded, and most exciting Quidditch match I had ever seen. It was made far more thrilling by the raucous crowd, which allowed Remus and me near-total freedom to speak all manner of naughty things into each other's ear without anyone else noticing. By the time Harry caught the Snitch, securing the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor for the first time since shortly after I had left school, I had completely abandoned any pretence of propriety.

I took hold of Remus by the front of his robes and pulled him close for a kiss. I doubted that anyone was looking at us, at the very top of the stands. The real show was down on the pitch, where Minerva was sobbing with joy into a large flag emblazoned with the Gryffindor lion.

"There. Aren't you glad you're up here with me, and not down in the good seats with Aurora?" I asked as I released him.

"Why would I want to be anywhere with Aurora?" he asked, puzzled.

I hadn't meant to say that aloud. "Never mind. I just didn't like how she looked at you earlier. She was like a cat finding an unguarded pitcher of cream."

"Really? That's rather flattering." He grinned. "I shouldn't think that I was her type at all. Nice to know I have options."

"Ugh, don't let it go to your head." I swatted him on the shoulder as we waited for the crowd to clear out a bit. "I'm not jealous."

Clearly, I was amusing him greatly. "I didn't think you were. That would require me to have looked at Aurora, not the other way around. Now you know how I feel when men look at you."

I snorted. "Men don't look at me, Remus." We were trapped in the stands by a huge mass of students blocking the exits as they sang and cheered and were just generally and joyously unruly.

Remus gazed at me in disbelief. "Of course they do. How could they not?"

I couldn't help but smile at him. "You really are just too nice to me."

He frowned slightly. "Don't you know that you're pretty?"

I felt myself blush. "Well, I don't think I'm monstrous or anything, but Cassie's the one who-"

His face cleared. "Oh, I see. You've been a robin to her peacock far too long."

"What does that mean?" He did have a way of losing me in conversation sometimes.

He looked at me in a way that made my heart flutter. "Well, Cassandra is attractive in a flashy and loud way. That's not bad; it's just her. She's like the peacock in the park that everyone notices. No one sees a robin next to that, but when you see one on its own, it's beautiful. You don't even try. You just are."

"Oh!" I sat back down on the bench abruptly.

He sat beside me, concerned. "Did I say something to upset you? I didn't mean to."

"No, it's all right. I'm not upset." I felt very stupid all of a sudden. "It's only that I've just realized that you really do love me."

"I thought you knew that already," he said quietly.

"I do. I did. I just had a-a revelation, I suppose." I touched his cheek briefly, looking closely at his prematurely careworn face, marked by pain and grief long before it should have been. "I don't have to do or be anything in particular for you. You love me the same way I love you. Did you know that?"

"I do now." He tucked an escaped lock of hair back behind my ear. "I love your hair. Sometimes all I can think about during dinner is that soon I will have you alone, where I can free your hair from whatever you have holding it back and run my hands through it."

I felt a shiver go through my whole body. "I like it when you push my hair away from my face when you make love to me," I whispered.

"I like that, too," he said softly, smiling. "I bet we can get out of here, now. The crowd seems to be thinning a bit."

"Good. I think we've teased each other enough for one day, don't you?"

We made our way though the animated hordes of crazed Gryffindor supporters toward the castle. I had just placed one foot on the stairs from the Entrance Hall, when I heard someone call my name. I paused, turning and freezing there when I realized that it was Severus, looking most displeased. Remus immediately placed a protective hand on my arm.

"H-Hello, Severus. How are you?" Cassie's warning was suddenly fresh in my mind.

"If I could have a moment of your time, please, Miss Vector?" His attempt at civility was hampered greatly by the blatant hatred in the glance he directed at Remus.

Remus spoke sharply and suddenly. "Leave her alone, Snape. Can't you see that she wants nothing to do with you?"

"Does she need you to speak for her now, Lupin?" Severus snarled. "I was under the impression that she had some sort of mind of her own, diminished though it may seem to be of late."

"Stop it, both of you. I am standing right here. Just say what you have to say, Severus."

"No doubt the two of you have plans for the rest of the day." As always, Severus' tone left little room for interpretation. "I'll return her to you in a moment. If you'll excuse us, Lupin."

Remus tightened his grip on my arm. "No. I'm not leaving her alone with you."

"We're hardly alone, here in the middle of the Entrance Hall. Although I suppose I can understand if you don't want her tempted by a man who actually is a man regardless of the phase of the moon." Severus' nasty sneer made me feel ill.

"What do you want, Severus?" I wondered if he even had a point. If he was just trying to upset Remus, it was working: Remus' grip on my arm had become nearly painful.

"Really, Anna. Your father wouldn't like it at all that you were being so rude to a customer. I merely wanted your opinion on a few manufacturers of potions supplies. I am preparing a very large order, and I thought you might have some insight on who is worthy of the business, as I'm sure you've dealt with most of them in the course of helping your father." He smirked at Remus. "I didn't want to bore Lupin here with talk of business matters in which he has no interest."

"I've never really dealt much with suppliers, Severus. You'd be better off asking Dad directly." What an odd thing for him to ask me. "Is that really something you needed to talk to me about privately?"

"No, not really." He hesitated, glancing once at Remus. Clearly accepting the fact that Remus was not going to leave my side, he went on. "I wondered if you had heard from your friend Cassandra. I, er, wanted to apologize to her for being so rude last weekend. I tried to send her an owl, but the letter was returned unopened." He looked more uncomfortable than I had ever seen him. I rather felt sorry for him.

Remus, apparently, had no such sympathy. He snorted. "Can you really blame her, Snape? You-"

I put my hand on Remus'. "Stop." I turned back to Severus. "I'll pass along your message, Severus."

"Thank you." He nodded curtly and turned to walk away, undoubtedly glad to be relieved of the burden of acting pleasant.

"Too bad about the Cup, Severus. It will look good in Minerva's office." Remus called after him.

Severus turned to respond, but froze before he could get a word out. A hunted look passed across his face as Aurora Sinistra approached, still wearing that ridiculous hat.

"Sev, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. These students are quite out of control." She surveyed the sea of red and gold with vague distaste. Most Slytherins had undoubtedly retreated to the dungeon.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go speak to my team." Severus slithered away through the crowd, Aurora in his wake.

Remus laughed. "Setting her after him was a real stroke of genius on your part, Anna. He's never going to shake her."

I smiled. "I didn't think she would take me so seriously. Honestly, I just didn't want her going after you. Even though at the time, I didn't have any idea that I wanted you for myself."

"Well, allow me to thank you for saving me from that particular fate." He frowned suddenly. "I noticed that Severus didn't express any sort of remorse for his behavior at dinner beyond rudeness to Cassandra. I can't believe he had the nerve to ask you to pass along a message to her and completely ignore the fact that he was disrespectful to you as well. He knew your father didn't know about me, and he should have left it to you to tell him."

"It doesn't matter, Remus. It all worked out for the best." I was suddenly jostled into him by the approach of the triumphant Gryffindor Quidditch team.

"Sorry- Oh, Professor Vector! We won! Did you see?" Oliver Wood, still overcome by emotion, forgot himself completely and hugged me.

"Of course I saw. Congratulations, Oliver. I knew you could do it." I patted him on the shoulder. He turned red, as he was caught up in the press of his teammates and swept up the stairs.

Remus was grinning. "I think Mr. Wood has a bit of a crush on you."

"Really? That's sweet."

He chuckled. "Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?"

I smiled at him. "Only you."

"Me, too. There weren't any teachers like you when I was at school." He winked at me. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

*****

As the time for final exams approached, the weather seemed to conspire against everyone. It was gorgeous outside, and no one was immune from the lure of bright sunshine. I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the students, forced to remain inside for every second of last minute revision they could grab.

We teachers were under no such strain: exams were already prepared, it was too late to teach any new material, and review is not terribly taxing. I always told my students that I was available if they needed any clarification of concepts, but few rarely sought me out. This year, Hermione Granger and Percy Weasley had made themselves my special projects. One or the other of them was constantly cornering me, usually in the Great Hall after (or sometimes during) meals.

Hermione, understandably, was in quite a state. She was taking such a huge course load, and was such a perfectionist; I was a bit worried about her. I was sure she would do well in my class, at least, and told her so, but she didn't really seem to hear me. I was not looking forward to the end of her fifth year; O.W.L's might turn out to be her undoing. Percy was simply determined to do well on his N.E.W.T's so that he could secure a position working at the Ministry of Magic.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley. May I borrow your teacher for a moment?" Remus asked courteously. He had come to rescue me when they had both nabbed me while I was walking past the Gryffindor table on my way to get some lunch.

"I'll be right back," I promised them as I joined Remus in the corner.

"Can't you get away from them, Anna?" He laughed. "Honestly, those two are the last students who need extra help."

"They're nervous about their exams. Don't make fun of them."

"I'm not, really. It's just such a nice day. I want to spend it with you." He gave me a pleading look. "Come out for a walk?"

"Really, Remus. Don't you have anything to occupy yourself?" I couldn't help but smile at him. Spending the afternoon with him in the sunshine really did sound lovely.

"Well, no. Not really," he said sheepishly. "None of my students are asking me for extra help. I've already got my final exams planned, and I have everything I need, but I can't really set them up in advance. It wouldn't be fair if some students got a preview of the obstacle courses beforehand."

I considered him for a moment. "Give me an hour. Your assignment is to secure provisions. There's a place in the forest I've been wanting to show you, anyway."

"Excellent." He looked like an eager little boy when he smiled like that. "I'll meet you outside in an hour." I watched him fondly as he rushed off, presumably to the kitchen to implore the house elves for picnic food.

"Aren't the two of you even bothering to try to be discreet anymore?" said a peevish voice at my elbow.

"Hush." Severus looked quite shocked at being told to hush, but I refused to allow him to spoil my good mood. "We were only talking, Severus. As you and I are talking to each other right now. It's not a matter requiring discretion. And no, I haven't heard from Cassandra."

"I didn't ask." He scowled in a manner that made me certain that he had definitely been about to. He had asked the same question every time he had seen me without Remus for weeks.

"I promise to forward any messages directed at you, Severus. If you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a tutoring session." I returned to Hermione and Percy, where the allotted hour passed very slowly. Mentally, I was already lying in the grass with Remus.

*****

"You're right. This is the most peaceful spot in the forest." Remus sat with his eyes closed, leaning against an enormous log.

I lay with my head pillowed on his thigh, nearly dozing off after a large lunch. (The Hogwarts house-elves were, as always, so eager to please, there was still enough food in that picnic basket to feed at least five more people.) "Hagrid would bring me here when I was little, to see the unicorns. I used to like to come here to grade papers, when I first came back to teach. It's less lonely, somehow, being alone here."

He smiled, a little sadly. "I know what you mean. Almost everywhere I've lived, I've always had a place at a park or some nearby woods or something. It is less lonely when you're really by yourself than it is to be surrounded by people and still be alone."

"Yes, that's it exactly." I hadn't even realized how lonely I had been until I wasn't anymore.

"Did you come here a lot, then?" Remus asked, reaching down to take my hand.

"Sometimes." I brought his hand up to kiss it. "I haven't been here in ages, though."

"I haven't even thought about finding a place like this since I've been here. I suppose I haven't really felt the need." He smiled at me as I sat up and hugged him very tightly. "Thank you for showing me your sanctuary. I thought I knew this whole forest, but I've never been here before."

"When did you have the chance to explore the forest?" My curiosity was piqued. "Did you used to come in here with Hagrid?"

"No. Not with Hagrid." I felt his entire body tense. "I-I don't really want to tell you."

"Oh." This was rather off-putting. "All right then." I pulled away from him.

"Anna, it's just- I can't-" He looked desperately miserable.

"It's fine, Remus," I said, probably a trifle more frostily than I had intended.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"Remus, either tell me or don't. There's no need to waste your time trying to come up with excuses. I'm not asking you for anything you don't want to give me." I stood up, brushing bits of grass off my skirt.

If I were absolutely honest, I would have to admit that it was driving me completely mad that he was keeping something from me. I didn't need to know every tiny detail of his life before he had met me, as I had not shared every small, unimportant thing of my own, but this seemed to be something that really mattered to him.

"I just don't want you to think badly of me," he said quietly, picking up a leaf from the ground and tearing it into pieces.

"Remus." I knelt down in front of him. "There's not anything that could make me not love you. You can infuriate me sometimes, but I still love you. Really, I don't want you to tell me anything if you don't want to. Just, whatever you do tell me, let it be the truth. I much prefer silence to lies."

He looked at me intently for what felt like a very long time. When he opened his mouth to speak, I was certain he would finally reveal this secret. "All right. No lies."

"All right." I felt the prickle of impending tears behind my eyes, but fought them. I wasn't going to manipulate him into anything, but I felt terribly disappointed. "Don't you trust me, Remus?"

He looked surprised. "Of course I trust you. With my life and with my heart. It has nothing to do with you. It's not something you want to know. Can we just leave it at that? Please?"

I nodded, as I looked away from him. A theory on the possible subject of this secret had suddenly occurred to me, and it was rather upsetting. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "Was it a girl you used to come here with? Were you in love with her? Is that why you don't want to tell me? Because it's about someone you loved more?"

I saw his struggle to suppress it, but a small, startled laugh escaped from him. "Anna, I promise. No. I've never been with any woman but you in any forest. And there has never been anyone I've loved more." He started to kiss me, soft, sweet kisses that made me shiver and melt all at once. "It almost frightens me, sometimes, how much I love you. I never expected to feel this way about anyone. How did it happen?"

"I don't know. It took me by surprise, too." I put my arms around him, needing to be closer to him. "Do you know what a perfect number is?'

He chuckled. "No, but I'm sure if anyone can make me understand an advanced mathematical concept, it's you."

"It's not terribly advanced," I said, laughing. "It's just a number that, when you add up all of its factors, you get the same number. Six is the smallest one. The factors of six are one, two, and three. One plus two plus three equals six. It's perfect. The numbers just fit together in every way."

"That actually makes sense to me, and you know how terrible I am with numbers," he said, with such a sweet look of amazement on his face that I couldn't resist kissing him. Without quite knowing how I got there, I was lying beneath him in the grass as he slowly unbuttoned the front of my robes. "Which of us is the perfect number, then?"

"Neither. We're just the factors." And we did fit together in every way.

*****

Remus' whimpering in his sleep woke me from a deep sleep several nights later. "It's all right." I soothed him, stroking his cheek and kissing his forehead. He often had such dreams right before the full moon, but he'd never told me what they were about.

I was startled as he sat up with a sudden, gasping cry. I sat up beside him and put my arms around him as tears started to slip from beneath his closed eyelids. "Remus, please wake up." His distress was disturbing me terribly. "Remus?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me blankly. "Anna? Are you all right?"

"Of course I'm all right. I was asleep. So were you. You just had a bad dream. That's all." I brushed his hair out of his face and kissed his cheek.

He blinked several times; clearly not quite awake yet, and then clutched me to him almost violently. "I would kill anyone who tried to hurt you," he said quietly.

His intensity startled me, as I squirmed a bit, and he loosened his tight embrace. "That's sweet, I think, but no one tried to hurt me, Remus. It was only a dream."

Finally fully awake, he searched my face as though he didn't quite believe me. Finally, and somewhat sheepishly, he said, "It was a very vivid dream."

"I noticed," I said, kissing him.

"I'm sorry I frightened you." He returned my kiss, a bit desperately. "I just don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"I'd like to see you try." I was trying to lighten his mood. It seemed to work, as he smiled a little and then proceeded to wordlessly demonstrate how very much he did love me. As if I needed proof.

*****

I woke before Remus, as the sunrise peeked through the window. I just lay there for a long while, watching him sleep peacefully for once. He didn't wake when I kissed him lightly as I left the bed, but a smile passed briefly across his sleeping face.

"Happy birthday." Remus appeared to have just woken up when I returned to his bedroom, dressed and ready for the last day of the term. I smiled as I crossed the room to sit beside him on the bed. "Why did you let me sleep so late?" He took my hand and kissed it.

"You were tired." He still looked exhausted.

"I wanted to make sure you at least started your birthday off right, since I can't be with you tonight." A shadow passed across his face, as it always did at the mention of the full moon.

"Oh, it did start off perfectly. I woke up next to you, didn't I?" I kissed him.

He smiled a bit nervously. "I didn't buy you a present, because you wouldn't tell me what you wanted."

"Remus, I don't need anything."

"I know. That's what you said every time I asked you," he said rolling his eyes slightly. "I don't want to give you something you need. I want to give you something nice. Something special." His face was turning a bit red. "Because you're special." I felt myself turning red right along with him. "But I could never afford to buy you anything as nice as you deserve."

"Remus, you don't have to-"

"I know I don't have to. But I just want to give you pretty things. It's an uncontrollable urge men get when we're in love." He grinned. "At any rate, I remembered that I have something of my mother's. She told me it was the first gift my father gave her, before they were married. She was very fond of it, and it suits you as well, I think." He reached across me to pull a small box out of the top drawer of his bedside table.

"Remus." I was very nearly speechless as he handed the box to me. "This was your mother's, and you want me to have it?" I had to blink back tears. "Thank you."

"You haven't even opened it yet." He pointed out. "You might hate it."

"I couldn't possibly hate it," I said as I opened the box. Inside was a small gold quill attached to a very fine gold chain. "Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you."

I moved so he could fasten the clasp for me. "Do you really like it?" he murmured, kissing the back of my neck in a manner that very nearly made me forget that I was starving.

I turned back to face him and kissed him on the nose. "Don't be silly, Remus. Of course I like it. It's from you. I love it."

He pulled me to him for a proper, thorough kiss. He stopped himself as his hands automatically reached for my hair. "I don't want to make a mess of you. You always start out so neatly."

We both laughed: while I rarely ended a day with my hair still tidy, I usually did make it out of the bedroom. "I have to go, anyway," I sighed regretfully. "I really need to eat something before I can face helping out with the Arithmancy N.E.W.T.'s. It takes some energy to deal with Percy Weasley, you know."

*****

"Good morning, Severus." I was determined to have a pleasant day. I poured myself some juice as the post owls entered the Great Hall.

"You seem to be quite popular today," Severus commented on the owls that landed before me. I merely smiled at him as I opened my birthday presents. Mr. and Mrs. Vablatsky sent me tickets for the Quidditch World Cup coming up during the summer holiday. My father sent me a book on the use of equations in potion making that made me sigh a bit, even as I was rather touched. At least he was trying. Cassie sent me something American, as promised: a small model of the Statue of Liberty which whistled "Happy Birthday" and did a dance that made me laugh out loud.

"Is that from Cassandra?" Severus asked.

I hesitated. "Yes. She really hasn't mentioned you much, Severus. Has she not answered your letters at all?"

He scowled. "I'd prefer not to discuss it."

"All right." I took a bite of toast. "You know, Severus-"

"Have a lovely birthday, Miss Vector," he said, a bit mockingly I thought, as he abruptly stood up to leave.

I finished my breakfast lost in thought. Cassie really hadn't mentioned Severus much, but I had the impression that they were corresponding with each other. It worried me a bit that Severus was so unbalanced; Cassie had said so herself. Still, she was hardly a paragon of sanity, either. Maybe they could find some sort of balance in each other. I really did want my friend to be as happy as I was. If Severus could do that for her, who was I to judge? After all, I was in love with a werewolf.

*****

I found myself at loose ends that evening. I was bored, and I couldn't think of anything that I wanted to do but be with Remus. I was dreading the summer holiday, which Remus was planning to spend partly on the Continent continuing his study of wild werewolves. I wanted to join him for at least part of it, even though Remus thought it would be too dangerous for me. As sweet as it was that he cared about me and wanted to keep me safe, his solicitude could be a bit annoying. He seemed to completely discount my own ability to take care of myself. I was planning on surprising him once he was there, since it was just too ridiculous to fight over.

It wasn't even dark yet, and there was quite a bit of time left until the moonrise, when Remus would change into the werewolf. He always retreated to his office immediately after dinner on the night of a full moon, even though there certainly was time to talk for a bit before I would have to leave. On this topic, Remus and I were in complete agreement: I had no interest in seeing him transform. The idea of watching this man that I adored turn into a wolf, even the tame one that the Wolfsbane potion made him, frightened me. I would allow him to protect me from that.

His door was already open, but instead of Remus standing in the middle of the room, I was quite surprised to see Severus.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, perhaps a bit rudely.

"I came to bring your werewolf his potion. Seems he is getting careless. Do you know where he is?" Severus looked to be in one of the worst moods I had ever seen him in.

I wondered briefly what was wrong with him, but was more concerned with Remus' whereabouts. It wasn't like him to be careless about anything that had to do with lycanthropy.

"Isn't he here?" I asked stupidly.

"Apparently not. Were you looking for him to run his hands through your hair the way you like? Or perhaps you just wanted to tell him what you want him to do to you later?"

The meaning of Severus' words didn't register right away. I was horrified as he went on with a few more intimate details that he shouldn't have known. How could he know these things I had said to Remus when we were alone? "Have you been spying on us? How? Why?"

"I will allow you to believe that it is because I want you for myself, since I am sure that is the only reason your pathetically true-to-stereotype Gryffindor mind will comprehend. You follow your heart entirely too much to be capable of understanding that there are other motivations."

"Shut up, Severus." I was in a cold fury. "Have you been sneaking around watching us? I don't understand-"

"You should be more careful to keep your personal correspondence private. Sending a love letter in the care of a irritable owl eager to unload his burden on the first person willing to take it is not a very secure method of delivery." He looked smug. "I already had something personal of yours, a quill you dropped. The simple desires of your heart made you an easy subject for the spell giving me access to your most intimate, heartfelt words."

I had never heard of such a violation of privacy. "I am going to Dumbledore with this, Severus."

"Go to Dumbledore, although I am sure he is like everyone else in finding it cute that you love a monster. You should hear what they say in the staff room: 'Sweet, absent-minded Anna, found herself a nice pet.' "

He actually took a step back from me when he saw my hand reaching toward my wand. I fully intended to actually hex him this time. "Expelliarmus." Apparently, that backward step had been a diversion. He was much more experienced at dueling than I, and so of course much quicker. I watched helplessly as my wand slipped through my fingers and flew into his hand. He set it down casually on Remus' desk beside the goblet of Wolfsbane potion he had placed there when I had entered.

"What's this?" he asked, looking at something he clearly hadn't noticed before. I saw that it was Remus' Marauders' Map, and it had already been activated. "Interesting. I knew this must be more than just an old piece of parchment when Potter had it. Very interesting indeed. Seems your werewolf is taking a little excursion this full moon night. Probably had enough of playing at domestication "

"Severus-" The words died in my throat at the flicker of madness I saw in his eyes.

I didn't even hear the hex he threw at me before everything went dark.