Mind Your Own Business

“Lily!” pleaded James Potter, “come on. I just need two more days and then you and I can hang out for as long as you want! I promise!”

“James! You’ve been out with Sirius every day this week! Do you not know I exist anymore?”

If the wife and I are fussin', brother that's our right
'Cause me and that sweet woman's got a license to fight

“How can I not know you exist when I’m talking to you?” Lily made a face.

“Two more days for your next plan and that’s it! And you had better make it up to me!”

“Thanks, Lily!” said James, giving her a kiss and then dashing out of the Portrait Hole.

“That boy really needs to shape up or ship out,” remarked Tarah, Lily’s best friend.

“I like him the way he is,” replied Lily. “And if he’s been gone for a whole week it means that his newest prank will be better than ever.” She grinned. “I can’t wait.”

James rushed down the hallway as fast as he could. Turning the corner, he skidded to a halt before almost running into a certain greasy-haired boy who was walking down the hallway. “Potter, Potter, Potter,” said Snape silkily.

“That’s my name, you know the rest,” sneered James, trying to make his way around the other boy.

“But where are you off to so quickly this morning? You know you shouldn’t be running in the halls. I should take off oh, say ten points from Gryffindor for that.”

“And I should add ten points to Gryffindor for tolerating you,” said James. Snape scowled. They were both prefects and could deal with the points. “Why do you even care?”

“Now why don’t you tell me where you’re off to?” asked Snape. “I know you’re up to something, probably no good and I know I will get a chance very soon to take off points, even if I can’t now.”

“Why don’t you mind your own business, you grease-ball?” said James, edging around Snape and taking off back down the corridor.

Why don't you mind your own business, mind your own business
'Cause if you mind your business, then you won't be mindin' mine

“Oh, Ja-ames,” called a female voice that was definitely not Lily’s. James turned in mid-stride and his heart sank in apprehension. It was a Hufflepuff girl he had gone out with once, right before Lily who was trying to break James and Lily up. He found her incredibly obnoxious.

“Hullo, Sarah,” muttered James.

“I saw you running down the hall and I just had to stop you and say ‘hi’ because, you know, it was you,” she said, twirling her hair around a finger.

Oh, the woman on our party line's the nosiest thing
She picks up her receiver when she knows it's my ring

“What a wonderful observation,” James said, trying to be patient. She couldn’t help it if she was the way she was. She giggled.

“I know. You know you run awfully well. You’re so strong and powerful.” James rolled his eyes. Yep, she’s an idiot, he thought.

“I really have to go, Sarah,” he said, trying to back away as she advanced forward.

“Pour kay? You know that means but why? in Spanish,” she said giggling. Her accent is terrible, thought James. I don’t know why they introduced languages in Hogwarts.

“That’s not really any of your business,” he said, edging farther away. She pouted for a moment before smiling again.

“Well, I suppose a man like you has big, important things to do. But you can’t hang around with a girl like me for just a moment?”

“Why would he?” asked a voice down the hall. James turned. Lily!

“Thank you, Lily! Perfect timing!” She smiled at him as he whipped around and took off down the hallway.

“Just tell me where you’re going,” pouted Sarah.

“Mind your own business,” said Lily as she brushed past her.

Why don't you mind your own business, mind your own business
Well, if you mind your business, then you won't be mindin' mine

James heard a whistle as he took off down the hallway again. What now? he thought. He turned around and saw Lily walking down the hallway in the opposite direction, being followed by several guys. “You mind not doing that?” asked James, rather loudly. The guys all jumped.

“Hello, James,” said one.

“We were just leaving,” said another as they took off.

I got a little gal that wears her hair up high
The boys all whistle when she walks by

“Thank you, James,” said Lily.

“At this rate I am never going to make it to…the…place on time,” sighed James.

“So go already,” shooed Lily with a smile. “I can’t wait to see what happens. Now go.”

“Go to what place?” asked a guy, coming back around the corner. It was a Hufflepuff named John O’Hara that not many people liked. Lily’s and James’s smiles automatically flipped.

“You might want to mind your own business,” growled Lily and James at the same time.

“I think not,” he sneered. Dumb Hufflepuffs, grimaced James.

“Go on,” said Lily. “Hurry up or you’ll be late.”

“You’ll be okay,” asked James, torn between leaving and staying.

“Sure. I know tae kwan do,” she said, giving him a small smile. James grinned back. He could just begin to hear some unpleasant sounds as he tuned the corner.

Why don't you mind your own business, mind your own business
Well, if you mind your business, then you sure won’t be mindin' mine

James and Sirius made their way tiredly back to the Common Room in the wee hours of the morning. Turning down the last corridor to the Fat Lady, they found a very upset Hufflepuff by the name of John O’Hara standing in front of the Portrait with a bandage over his nose.

“I can’t get in,” he moaned as they came up.

“It’s not your Common Room,” said Sirius bewildered.

“Why are you even up at this hour?” asked James suspiciously.

“I have to get in to Lily. She broke my nose,” he complained. “And Madame Pomfrey was busy. Why are you up?”

“We were out,” said James flatly. “Worry about your own problems. Not us.”

If I want to honky tonk around 'til two or three
Now, brother that's my headache, don't you worry 'bout me

“What were you doing?” asked John.

“Mind your own business,” said Sirius. He whispered the password to the Fat Lady and walked in with James.

Just mind your own business, mind your own business
If you mind your business, then you won't be mindin' mine

“So if we take the Dungbombs and place them there then nobody will be able to link them to us,” whispered Sirius that night in the Common Room. He stopped suddenly as a group of girls came down from the dorms and snuck out the Portrait Hole.

“Wonder what’s going on,” said James. “Anyway, you were saying about the Dungbombs.” He sighed suddenly. “This is going to be hard.”

Mindin' other people's business seems to be high-toned
I got all that I can do just to mind my own

The next morning dawned way too early for Sirius and James, but it didn’t matter. They had decided to go to breakfast just a bit late. They didn’t want to be there for the…uh…thing. They had told Lily to go down late too, but hadn’t told her why.

As the three of them finally made their way down to the Great Hall, there was an explosion. Sirius opened the doors and snapped a picture before anyone could move. The entire Hall was covered in a layer of what seemed to be icing except that it smelled like Dungbombs and tasted worse.

“That was pretty cool,” said Lily in awe. Their were blobs where the students were and a mound where the teachers table usually was. “But you are going to be in so much trouble for it.” James and Sirius grinned.

“We know,” said James. “But it was worth it.”

“Mr. Potter, Mr. Black,” screeched Professor McGonagall. “My office! Now!”

“But it will disappear in an hour,” pleaded Sirius.

“That is very advanced magic, boys. Do you know how many things could have gone wrong? If only you paid as much attention to your school work,” scolded Professor McGonagall.

“We’re very sorry, Professor,” said Sirius, giving her his sad puppy dog eyes which were quite effective.

“Seeing as how you went after the whole school and not just the Gryffindors, I think I’ll just give you each detentions for a month and not penalize the rest of the Gryffindors.”

“Thank you, Professor,” said James hurriedly as he dragged Sirius out of the office.

“Is Gryffindor back down to fourth place?” sneered Snape as soon as they left the office. He had been waiting for them, so that he could gloat.

“I think it would be best if you were to mind your own business,” said Professor McGonagall, coming up behind them. Snape made a face and stalked off.

Why don't you mind your own business, mind your own business
If you mind your own business, you'll stay busy all the time