Yes, Dear

What if Arthur Weasley never met Molly?

A single red-headed man stands in the small section of the Ministry of Magic building. It is the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts section. The small room is jam-packed with small muggle trinkets that the man enjoys amusing himself with. There is at least double that, plus bigger muggle objects, such as a car, filling up his apartment. The man is dictating new laws to a long (at least nine feet) piece of parchment. The parchment is mostly filled with er's and um's. Whatever laws do get onto the sheet are very general and have many loopholes. While dictating, the man tries to put together a squirt gun. Even with only three pieces, the man somehow manages to keep messing up. Eventually, he stops dictating and focuses all of his energy on the squirt gun. After a large number of tries, the man is able to put it together. He leaves to fill it up with water. At the drinking fountain, he sees that it is very late. This doesn't mean anything to the man because what he goes home to is the same thing he comes to work for. The man squeezes back into his small office and squirts water at a pile of objects to test it. A startled squeal emits from the pile. "Wake up, Perkins. It's time to go home." He tells the man he just woke up. The drowsy Perkins stumbles out of the office. The man decides he should go home, too.

When the man gets to his apartment, he is hungry. He opens a pantry. It is filled with food, much too much food for one man. The man scans the pantry for a piece of food he wants. He finds a muggle protein bar. Not having anything better to do, the man pretends he is a muggle on a grocery shopping trip. He reads the nutrition facts on the back of the protein bar. "Oh no, I can't get this," he says to the invisible cashier, "It has too many calories." He puts the protein bar back. He then tells the imaginary cashier he wants to buy bread, peanut butter, and jelly. The man takes forty-two pence out of his pocket and places them into the pantry. He places the items he just "bought" onto a table filled with paper, trinkets, and a half-eaten sandwich. He puts two slices of bread down first. He then opens both the peanut butter and the jelly. The man proceeds to pour them onto the slices of bread, somehow managing to get more on the table then on the bread. He eats and reads The Daily Prophet. He skips the main section (it's some article about the Boy Who Lived) and goes straight to the comics. He likes reading the daily Martin Miggs. It is nearly midnight by the time the man finishes eating and reading. He decides it is the perfect time for a drive.

The man goes downstairs to the parking lot. He finds his refurbished Ford Anglia and drives it outside. The roads are almost empty and most people are asleep. He presses the button that makes his car fly. No one notices and no one will ever know. He flies around for about half an hour with the windows down, enjoying the breeze. He then decides that it is "officially" late. The man lands the car perfectly and drives it back to the parking lot. He goes back up to his apartment. He needs to sleep so that he is ready for work the next day.

The man goes to his room and falls asleep on his messy bed. He dreams about muggles and the day to come.